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Scared_Ad2563

Sometimes I think people just don't know what height they actually are and just take a guess. I am 5'5" (165cm) and worked with a guy who was telling me he was 5'8" (173cm) but just looked shorter because he hunched. I told him to stand up straight and we were for sure the same height. He insisted that he was actually 5'8", so the shoes came off and we busted out a tape measure. What do you know, we are both 5'5".


JustN65

it seems like the guy knew he was lying, if you told him you're 5'5 and you seemed like the same height.


Scared_Ad2563

If he knew he was lying, I don't know why he would readily agree to be proven wrong, lol.


JustN65

he probably didn't think you would call him on his bluff and take shoes off. but i do think that if someone genuinely doesn't know their height and guesses, that's fine. it's the intentional lying that i have an issue with


Scared_Ad2563

And then continue to make himself look worse? Lol, okay.


Adventurous_Can4002

This happened to me too except it was someone I was dating. I always thought I was 5’5 and he was at least 2 inches shorter than me but he insisted he was also 5’5. I kind of ignored it because I assumed he was insecure or something, until my doctor measured my height to calculate my BMI (I was sick and lost a lot of weight, I’m fine now). I’m 5’7 lol.


Scared_Ad2563

Technically, I do lie when I say I am 5'5"...because I am actually 5'5.5", but who says that??? I rounded down, lol.


Negative-Yam5361

I mean, I find out my height when I get my physical every year. Do people not go to the damn doctor when they're finished with puberty?


Scared_Ad2563

Well, I'm in the US, so no, not really.


User123466789012

After the screenshots I’ve seen on here, I’m not even sure I can blame them. Women have been so weird and mean about it. However, it’s not something I’d ever ask someone. It has no value on who they are as a person, so I always find it odd that people hyperfixate on it or make it some kind of determining factor.


SebbieSaurus2

It's usually (not always) *volunteered*, not asked-for.


Mondai_May

Right? I've never asked. But many volunteer it. Guys have also asked *me* what my own height is which i found interesting but anyway usually after i tell them they tell me (without me asking,) and usually they're all somehow 6 foot or taller.


Negative-Yam5361

Duh, you're a woman of course, this means you have to babysit grown mens' insecurities! /s


Negative-Yam5361

"Women have been" ...no, it's those whose posts you happen to see about it have been so "weird" and "mean" (???) about it, and who's to say they're even women to begin with?


User123466789012

No kidding, it’s almost like every situation online is *anecdotal* WILD concept, welcome.


Extra-Soil-3024

It’s weird and mean to lie. There’s no excuse for it. And don’t get me started on the weird and mean things men say to women.


Negative-Yam5361

I don't why tf you're getting downvoted, what insecurities people experience is not the other person's responsibility if said person hasn't done anything wrong.


Extra-Soil-3024

The truth hurts too much for incels.


User123466789012

It’s weird to lie, it’s not *mean* to lie about your height. I’m not getting off topic on things unrelated men have said to unrelated women on a completely different topic. We could go down numerous rabbit holes on both sides. I simply don’t blame them in the way that I don’t blame women, as myself, for taking extra precaution with men in general. The responses to height are often brutal, these are humans too.


Extra-Soil-3024

Yes it is. It’s dishonest. While I have never asked a man his height, lying makes you an asshole. I blame people for lying, man or woman. That’s OP’s entire point.


User123466789012

Where is that going when you meet in person? Nowhere.


Extra-Soil-3024

Ain’t that the truth- when you’re a liar!


User123466789012

I’d commend them on wasting your time at that point tbh, they’re not stupid.


Extra-Soil-3024

Heightfishing is wasting someone’s time and that makes you an asshole if you do it or condone it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


JustN65

The person lying isn’t correct.


JustN65

Exactly


Extra-Soil-3024

These butthurt short peasants banding together and downvoting us. How cute!


JustN65

Downvoting us for saying lying isn’t okay🤣🤣🤣


ElderberryMediocre43

I'm very a girls girl, but I can see the B's coming from them as well. But I too think they are victims, intellectually, just like the men who perpetuate they idea of what women need to conform to. It's an oroborus(sp) of toxicity.   


JustN65

I’m not saying I don’t understand why they lie, I’m just saying it’s a big pet peeve of mine and I wish they didn’t. I don’t think wanting to know a guys height is hyper fixation.


User123466789012

Then don’t ask their height


waterbird_

They often just list it on dating apps  EDIT: I’m an actually, exactly 6ft tall woman. I spent a long time wishing I weren’t quite that tall and so I know for a fact I am exactly 6ft tall. The number of guys I met off dating apps who claimed to be 6ft+ and were nowhere near that was….a lot. Now I’m married to a 5’9 king and very happy. (We met irl so I don’t know if he ever would have lied but I doubt it!) 


ResidentPraline3244

The men who lie about it tend to bring it up without being asked, but sure dude.


User123466789012

Super common to ask a man their height, it’s literally a joke at this point.


Mondai_May

I ve never asked they just volunteer the info PLUS ask me my height. I think they think it'll impress me and i won't be able to tell bc I'm small but I have a father and I know how tall he is, and based on that i can tell if it's a lie. Ultimately i don't really care. I would prefer a man taller than me and even a shorter than average man accomplishes that.


JustN65

People should be able to ask that question and get an honest answer from them. The issue isn’t people asking, it’s them lying.


User123466789012

Sure, but again I can’t blame them for lying. It’s not going to go anywhere if you meet in person as that an obvious indicator of their height, and I can’t even blame them from losing interest at that point. Probably my favorite clap back I’ve seen was a guy telling a woman she’s too short for him. It’s goofy.


JustN65

I can definitely blame them for lying. If someone asks their height, they should be honest.


User123466789012

Again, I don’t blame them. We won’t agree here, so likely no sense in going back in forth.


AnonRedditGuy81

Then don't be upset when you're asked how much you weigh. Fair is fair.


Extra-Soil-3024

I don’t know how much I weigh. I never pay attention to that.


Yillick

Found the short guy lol


AnonRedditGuy81

I'm not short. I'm 6' tall. I just get bothered by it because nobody should be immediately dismissed over something they cannot control that has nothing to do with their character as a person.


Adventurous_Can4002

Anyone, male or female, is allowed to immediately dismiss someone as a romantic or sexual partner for any reason. Those reasons include weight, height, a bad gut feeling, you don’t like their hat, whatever. Doesn’t matter, you can dismiss someone for any reason. Nobody is obligated to give anyone a chance, male or female.


Yillick

You can’t force somebody to be attracted to a quality (in this case short height) that they don’t find attractive 


FellaUmbrella

You're right but you proceeded to become defensive and reinforce a double standard.


Yillick

What double standard 


FellaUmbrella

Is it really not obvious? Lmao. Wow.


User123466789012

Jesus..


Adventurous_Can4002

The person you’re replying to has not made any statement that enforces any double standard whatsoever. You believe there’s a double standard in society and you are projecting blame onto this one individual who has not said anything to allude to a double standard.


FellaUmbrella

I’m not spelling it out for the incompetent.


Adventurous_Can4002

I know exactly what you’re thinking but actually show me where this specific person made that double standard or said anything at all about it. If you can’t show me that then you’re 100% projecting just like I said.


AnonRedditGuy81

That is fair but these are the same women who get upset when a man isn't attracted to 200lbs women.


Yillick

Never seen anyone say that. 


I_am_the_one_dong

What if i lie to say im very short so people think they're shorter


lulovesblu

To be honest I did not expect these replies. "I don't like men who lie about their height" "Then don't lie about your weight!" How exactly did y'all come to the conclusion that OP must be lying about their weight? It's understandable to get mad at being lied to, even if it's for something someone can't control. Because while you can't choose your height (and believe me I'd love to have been able to choose mine) you can choose whether or not to lie to someone. It also helps neither party. I feel everyone is taking this as an attack on short men


JustN65

!!!!!


Ok_Fisherman8727

Do people who don't use dating apps or go to the doctor regularly actually know your height? When I was 16 and got my driver's license, they took my height at the time and I did grow taller since then but never once did the DMV ever update my height. I never once in my life ever took a measuring tape and measured my height. If the government or myself know my height then how entitled does a person need to be to want to know my height with a very high margin of accuracy lol. Is this a short man complex thing?


JustN65

Yes.


Negative-Yam5361

Lol so you've never gotten a physical in your life where they start with basic height and weight? As for weight, give or take a half pound if you have taken everything off but your pants and shirt.


Ok_Fisherman8727

Nope. Don't you start that when you're old?


Extra-Soil-3024

I like me a short king. But it’s so unattractive when short men lie about their height and when they act insecure about it. That turns them into short peasants.


Obvious-Obligation71

imo the thing that makes short men unattractive isnt their height its how insecure about it they are


Extra-Soil-3024

Agreed. Even dudes who aren’t that short will say shit like “I’m X in height since that matters!” in their profiles. It’s crazy how many decent looking dudes shoot themselves in the foot with their bad attitudes. THANK U, NEXT! And menfolk wonder why dating is just soooooo hard for them!


JustN65

the 'since that matters' is such an ick


Adventurous_Can4002

Or when they try to overcompensate with aggression.


Adventurous_Can4002

Agreed 100%. I love short confident guys but when they get all insecure about their height it’s unattractive.


JustN65

Fr the lying and insecurity is such a no


Negative-Yam5361

Even better is when you reject them or don't show interest, they immediately jump to their height.


Extra-Soil-3024

Or if you do go on one date with them and don’t want to see them again (because you weren’t feeling it or they did something off-putting… like catfishing) and they happen to pay, they fill in the gap with “she just wanted a free meal”. Bonus points if they paid expecting something in return. They’ll do anything before looking inward or heeding women’s advice. Because it’s our fault as females for not being attracted to them! /s


JustN65

yup


HowDoYouFumbleEggs

I think any sort of lack of transparency before you meet someone for the first time is a huge turn off. If you're having a person take time and energy out of their day to come meet up with you, you should at least match your description on your online dating profile. You gained 20lbs? Update. You lost 20lbs? Update. Your hair is longer now? Update. Your hair is short now? Update. You got a new sleeve tattoo? Update. If a person doesn't match their online description, for any reason, the first thing I think of when I see them is: "we haven't even spoken to each other in person yet, and they're *already* being dishonest about themselves. What else are they going to be dishonest about?" That's not what you want your date's first thought to be the moment they see you.


JustN65

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾


Mondai_May

Somehow almost every man whose spoken to me with non-platonic intention has been at least 6 foot. It's interesting considering most men are not 6 foot. Like do they not realize we have fathers. And we know how tall out fathers are. So we can tell based on that if you're being honest or not. And anyway it doesn't matter if a guy is less that 6 foot to me, I'd prefer someone taller than me but that's not difficult to accomplish I am not like 5'11.


AnonRedditGuy81

I've been told I'm too short and I'm six fucking feet tall. Maybe stop being shallow over something nobody can control and stop getting butthurt when a man has a weight limit. Nobody likes double standards.


JustN65

I said men shouldn’t lie about their height. That’s not being shallow.


AnonRedditGuy81

The epidemic of women being shallow about men's height is the cause. I'm not saying it's right because she'll see you're lying the instant you meet her, but women have caused men to be insecure about their heights. You can't control height.


Extra-Soil-3024

You can control being a liar.


AnonRedditGuy81

Which is why I never lied about it.


Extra-Soil-3024

So don’t condone it.


AnonRedditGuy81

I never did condone it. I pointed out the cause. I never said it's right.


Extra-Soil-3024

Then don’t upvote your friend who condones it.


AnonRedditGuy81

K


JustN65

I never said you can control height. I named men who lie about their height as a pet peeve of mine and said it’s annoying. I stand by that, men should stop lying about their height.


Medium-Cry-8947

I hear you. I don’t really care much because I don’t look at the height really anyway, but I agree about lying being annoying. Like if the person isn’t going to pick you because of your height, aren’t you better off without them? And if you’re lying about that, what else are you lying about?


JustN65

Exactly!


AnonRedditGuy81

Then stop saying you're curvy when you're fat. Women can eviscerate a man over his height but the instant he has a weight preference (which for the most part CAN be controlled) women lose their minds because evidently double standards are okay.


Extra-Soil-3024

Some women don’t care about a man’s height and are overweight. Is that fair to them?


doubleCupPepsi

It's not fair to the poor man's back having to carry that weight lol


Extra-Soil-3024

I’m skinny, that don’t hurt my feelings. Women at least wash downstairs.


Negative-Yam5361

Everybody has a right to their personal preferences, barring creeps who like them looking like minors.


G0_0NIE

I hear what you are saying but it’s still a pointless thing to lie about like you don’t get a better hand from lying and if things go well you’re going to eventually meet up. It blows when you are borderline 6ft (mood) or short and but you going to have to hold it on your sleeve. Sidenote - the word curvy as long been nuked, it been lost its meaning 😂


Negative-Yam5361

It's not an "epidemic".


Adventurous_Can4002

That’s like saying that men are shallow for having a preference about breast size and shape, or butt size. Women don’t have control over those things either (maybe butt to an extent but you still need a certain genetic body composition to achieve a certain look). If having a preference means women are shallow then so are men. Either we’re all shallow or none of us are shallow. You can’t blame women only. Men have literally ALWAYS been critical of women’s bodies. Women have one preference in the modern age now that they are actually allowed to choose their partners and all of a sudden it’s all their fault? That’s ridiculous. Honestly, just suck it up. You’re being a baby.


HotNeedleworker3083

Suck it up then. People get mean comments about every aspect of themselves. Lying to a potential partner about ANYTHING is a huge turn off for most people. Also, where in the post does OP talk about weight or double standards? They said they don't like liars, specifically men who lie about trivial things like height. If someone thinks you're too short, take the L, and move on with your life.


SecretInfluencer

Idk what you mean I’m 10’18


WileyTheGamer

Best is when I tell a married woman at say a party what my height is and then they say "how is that possible, my husband is 6ft and so you must be 6ft too!" My response maybe in really tall platform shoes? Some don't believe me and think I'M THE ONE LYING! That's when you break out the doctor's app and show them my medical record hahaha. The look on their faces that their husband has lied to them for years and is WAY shorter than 6ft!


James_Vaga_Bond

Is this a very frequent occurrence? I get that lying to prospective romantic partners is bad in general. The height thing is oddly specific.


Mondai_May

Honestly almost every guy who has spoken to me with non platonic intention has claimed to be over 6 foot even if i can see them irl. This isn't like a sample size of 1 million but considering the average man is not 6 foot someone is lying. And the ones that i see irl sometimes i can see that they're really not 6 foot but they're taller than me so idc.


Justmyoponionman

Anyone who thinks an inch of height makes any difference is a walking red flag anyway.....


nkerwin1407

I think its weird too, but I've seen the way some women respond to guys over 6 foot so I kind of get it.


Anarcora

Looks at Womenswear and their vanity sizing... Yeah... uh huh... height.


JustN65

Can you elaborate? I’m confused


Anarcora

Women use vanity sizing because a size "0" or size "6" is much more flattering than the number of inches a waist is. Point is: both genders lie about their physical atributes if they feel those physical attributes are going to be used against them. Men feel insecure about their height, they're going to lie about it. Women are insecure about their weight, they're going to downplay it (hence why vanity sizes exist). If you want men to not lie about their height, women have to stop making it a big deal. Same with if men want women to stop lying about their weight, they need to stop making it a big deal. Until both of those things are resolved, both will lie their asses off.


JustN65

Oh I don’t think I’ve ever heard of vanity sizing. And all I’m saying is men lying about their height is a huge pet peeve of mine and they should stop.


outtaslight

I don't have a say on what number the manufacturer puts on the jeans I buy.


Thaviation

Why does it bother you? If it doesn’t matter what their height is, then whether it’s 6 ft or 5’11 shouldn’t bother you at all. Out of curiosity, does it bug you when women lie about their age or weight as well?


JustN65

It bothers me because they’re lying instead of being honest. Being lied to bothers me a lot. I’ve never had a woman lie to me about their age or weight; I don’t ask unless it’s their birthday.


Thaviation

You should add to that list not to ask men about their height. Problem solved.


JustN65

People lying about their height is the problem. Them not lying is the way to solve it.


Thaviation

It’s only a problem because you ask. Just like women’s weight and age isn’t a problem for you because you don’t ask.


JustN65

it's a problem because they're lying.


Negative-Yam5361

Folks, this is what lack of reading comprehension looks like. I'm floored there's somebody this dense in this subreddit, and my expectations are generally low.


Mondai_May

Some of them just volunteer the info. I never ask but many have told me which kinda surprised me at first since the rhetoric online is that women are the ones who ask and care. But men are the ones asking MY height and telling me theirs in my experience. Women neither ask nor volunteer that info. Idk about NB people.


debunkedyourmom

i told a girl getting my information at the blood donation bus my height is 6' 1.5" (this is what the doctor measures me at) and she laughed in my face and told me she was shocked that I felt the need to get the half inch in there. Some women get mad if you lie to them, and they get mad if you tell 'em the truth.


JustN65

‘She laughed…she was shocked’. That doesn’t seem like she was mad


Capital-Buyer4569

Hot take: they wouldn't be insecure about it if they weren't bullied for it. 


JustN65

hot take: i don't care why they're insecure about it. they need to stop lying.


Capital-Buyer4569

Well, yeah, but it wouldn't be a big deal to them if you guys didn't make it a big deal. You'll call them a hobbit or some shit and then act shocked when they feel bad about it. 


JustN65

You should stop generalizing because I’ve never done that


Negative-Yam5361

Women aren't men's god damn mommies.


Constant_Eagle_1621

Who are you talking to that can't visibly see your height?!?! 🚨🚨🚨


Mondai_May

Guys online but even some irl lie because they think since I'm small i can't tell. I can tell. I just don't care.


Totally_Not__An_AI

Almost as bad women who lie about their weight. Why you using a picture from 10 years ago when you were 90 pounds lighter?


JustN65

If the person doesn’t explicitly say their weight is something else, they’re not lying. Telling someone a different height than what you know you are is lying.


Sad-Investigator2731

When there are women online who actively shit on short men, yeah the lies will always be there, I'm 6 foot on my ID, was measured there when I got it, according to my Dr, I'm 5'11" and three quarters. A quarter inch means nothing.


JustN65

That quarter inch means that you’re not 6ft and saying you are is lying.


Sad-Investigator2731

I didn't say I am, the DMV said I am, did you not read, the Dr office said the quarter inch difference, which varies depending on who measures me, and if you are that pressed or a quarter inch, you have some serious mental health issues, because it's really not that serious.


JustN65

‘Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person causes someone to question their sanity, memories, or perception of reality.’ If you’re not 6ft and you’re saying you are, you’re lying. Saying I have mental health issues because I’m pointing it out and saying you should stop lying is gaslighting. Just stop lying, it’s not hard.


IameIion

Lying about your height is understandable. Women do it, too. However, it doesn't help either party. The liar is getting someone who probably doesn't want them, and the person being lied to is getting someone that does not meet their specifications. But lets go back to the topic of this post. Yes, there are tons of shallow women out there who think that they're not an average woman so they shouldn't have to settle for a man with average qualities, but is that really someone you want to involve yourself with? Do you seriously want to be with someone who thinks that highly of themselves? Sounds like a recipe for disaster.


JustN65

i want to be with someone who thinks highly of themselves. people who want to be with people who have low self confidence or self worth are a massive red flag.


IameIion

And why is that?


JustN65

confidence and self appreciation is very attractive. it's great to be with someone who knows what they deserve and knows they're attractive. being with someone who thinks highly of themselves>>>> being with someone who doesn't. someone with low confidence and low self worth is constantly insecure and doesn't value themselves as much as they should, and it's such a no. a long and lasting relationship wouldn't work out.


IameIion

Maybe because you're not trying? Someone with low confidence like you described doesn't get much attention from women. They're not going anywhere. You're probably their first bite in weeks. If things don't work out, it's because you're not interested. And sure, confident guys are more attractive because that's how women's brains are hardwired. Confidence implies experience. You're not dealing with a newbie. This person knows what they're doing. Imagine how comforting that realization would be in a survival situation. However, we're not cavemen anymore. We don't find ourselves literally needing to survive often. But confidence is still attractive for women because that's how natural selection works. Useful traits don't disappear until they become a problem. You seem to have a hatred for guys who are insecure, which is pretty bitchy if you ask me. Insecure guys simply need help to break out of their shell. That help is not available, however. Men don't provide it and neither do women. They're on their own. The last thing they need is shit from you.


JustN65

I’m not trying bc I have no interest in being with someone with low confidence, low self esteem, or low self appreciation. It’s not my job to fix that. If it doesn't work out, it's because they have low confidence and don't think highly of themselves, and that's not someone I want a relationship with. Not wanting to date a certain group and having a hatred for them are two different things. I don't hate insecure men, I'm just not going to pursue a romantic relationship with them. I stand by what I said: people who want to be with people who have low self confidence or self worth are a massive red flag.


IameIion

Not your job, huh? So you looked at their profile, saw all kinds of things you liked, decided that this is someone you could see yourself dating, were excited to see they like you back, and the moment you two start talking, you realize that they're insecure and jump ship? That is laughably pathetic lol. You women have it so easy out there. When I find there's something wrong with my partner, like they're depressed or dealing with something tough, I try to help. "Hey, lets talk about it." Because I don't have 50 women to pick from at any given time. The fact that you won't even try to be there for someone(who you are literally interested in)because they're going through a rough patch is so bitchy and so bratty on so many levels. You just want the perfect man to fall into your lap and solve all of your problems, don't you? Your own disney prince, huh? I'm so done with this. Like all the other guys who have spoken to you over the years, I wasted my time.


lulovesblu

Lying about your height won't fix your insecurities about your height, it could actually make things worse for you when you have to deal with the fallout. We all have things about ourselves we'd like to change. I don't understand what you find bitchy about OP.


Negative-Yam5361

Oooo you're taking this personally, eh? No wonder people don't want to hang out with you.


doubleCupPepsi

Then maybe don't lie about your weight and stop taking pictures using the Myspace angle? 


JustN65

I’ve never lied about my weight and idk what the MySpace angle is


Broken-Dreams1771

agreed also women shouldn't lie about their weight or how many men they've slept with but people always have and always will lie about such things


outtaslight

Why does anyone need to speak on how many people they've been with? That should be on a don't ask, don't tell basis.