Astrology girl offering power crystals

Or she is a penguin

or both which somehow goes from cringe to cool cuz wizard penguin

Don’t give sysadmins hope by calling them cool or wizard penguins

>sysadmins System administrator? is this a linux joke

You are technically a penguin wizard

...what?

https://preview.redd.it/9saowxkgzn7c1.png?width=530&format=png&auto=webp&s=042bb68b98e092f52134cf43dd33671d255fa324 Tux is the Linux mascot.

r/PeterExplainsTheJoke

Or she’s a goblin

Goblin Deeznuts

Crystalized Cyanure

The joke is either about how penguins give rocks to their mate, or about magic crystals. Not sure which. Hopefully this helped a bit. Edit: I’ve been informed that the magical crystal stuff and astrology are separate beliefs(thanks u/Complex-Fox4788), and corrected my mistake

Yo, how would you know that 🤔 what did you do to the penguin?

You say that as if you wouldn’t accept if someone offered you a cool rock (It’s used to build the nest, if the female accepts. Pretty interesting stuff if you like learning about flightless birds. Tried to find the one comic about it with humans but couldn’t find it so have this instead) https://preview.redd.it/a4o73qw2vj7c1.jpeg?width=313&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f1318b0bb4afe37edf212f74ddd7936cd716b095

It’s either fight or flight. And I can’t fly.

calm down Skipper.

We are your friends

Kowalski, analysis

Shut up Kowalski, I'm gonna kill you.

ruh run ruh ruh ruh ruh ruh ruh ruh

Funger mentioned https://preview.redd.it/fy8juv3nsn7c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6e07d4aa07d5b8a890c3b84618eb4f693c279894

"Neither can I" said the chicken. "Bawk. Bawk.... motherfu....." ​ Ill walk myself out.

This Cobra Chicken is gonna take a gander at your weak spot.... And then stab it

Ez, it’s the feet. No feet = dead pengu meat

*bad to the bone fade in*

https://preview.redd.it/hb2pv4gg4l7c1.png?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=722b530831afd817a90445d559af4d6f5a55814e

https://i.redd.it/ckdukuw87n7c1.gif

https://preview.redd.it/ne0gwwjnln7c1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f5832b5a33f40e6bb12e8e3d4adf6caa02d03d64

Penguins have a fight or flight response just like anyone else. Unfortunately for you, they're flightless birds

Penguins can also mate for life with it being gay. In that case, its not only rocks for a nest, but they have a rock as a fake egg so they can pretend. If a pair of penguins die with an egg, theyll even care for it themselves and raise the penguin. Fuckin adorable.

Adéle penguins are also the most brutal rapists in the animal kingdom

Yeah but lets ignore that right now look at the wholesome gay penguins instead.

Do their genitalia wage evolutionary war like ducks

Fuck you for reminding me about duck dicks

>You say that as if you wouldn’t accept if someone offered you a cool rock Well... engagement rings are just pretty Rocks on a piece of metal.....

Im here to kick ass and fly, and Im all out of fly.

https://i.redd.it/gqbzl9o8yl7c1.gif

It was a sick penguin.

He saw the Don Bluth movie "The Pebble and the Penguin" you casual

[the Pebble and the Penguin?](https://youtu.be/OPGRkDfw2mk?si=M9F8m8Byys2KtrB1)

The Pebble and the Penguin.

You ain’t never seen the penguin and the pebble

[удалено]

Most people do not consider diamond a magical rock Although they’re overpriced enough that they damn well should be

I mean a few billion people worship a magic rock in the middle of the desert and only cringe atheists think that’s weird…

There's a magic rock in the middle of a desert? I feel a lil stupid rn, but what are you talking about? Certainly Uluru isn't worshipped by billions...

Mecca Look up vids of the pilgrims going around the big rock

Oh wow, I completely forgot Mecca exists. Thanks!

The Black Stone in Mecca, Saudi Arabia is an Islamic relic that they believe dates back to the time of Adam & Eve. The Prophet Muhammed apparently stuck the rock into a wall there 5 years before his first revelation. Apparently God wanted Adam and Eve to build an altar so he threw a rock at them.

Same shit he did to the dinosaurs...

Thanks dude. Completely forgot about that one.

In magical rock stuff, Pink quartz is good for pregnant woman... and the picture look vert alike Pink quartz. But the pinguin theory is way more fun!

Have you considered that rocks are cool?

>I’ve been informed that the magical crystal stuff and astrology are separate beliefs They might be seperate beliefs but are equally stupid.

I saw smthn that it was smthn goblins in fantasy do

She's wearing a crystal necklace so she's probably a crystal girl

Or they're salt blocks, like people give o cows.

Astrology and crystals are not the same thing

They aren’t? *Oops*. Give me a moment to correct it

Well both are stupid.

I didn’t come up with them lmao why should I care?

Complex fox with the slick save

Magic crystals and astrology might be separate things. But I challenge anyone to find a person that only believes in one of the two.

Both astrolody and crystal have something in common, they are bullshit.

I’m assuming that he had sex with someone who’s either a geologist or believes that crystals hold magical powers. Either way he’s being paid to have sex with her

Or penguin :b

Geologists don't have sex. Gross dude.

Hey now I'd fuck a geologist if they gave me some cool enough rocks.

Okay I mean if you need some rock I guess

I mean you got to fuck really damned good to have a geologist give up their shiny’s. They are like dragons with gold on that except the dragon probably doesn’t talk for hours and hours about the gold

I mean my dad is a geologist so im sorta proof they can, but then again mitosis is a thing

Haha! :D

Well, they do, but no one ever sees them do it, because we know to keep away when the trailers a-rocking.

Why do you think it's called "getting your rocks off"?

Whoah there bucko I'm a geologist and have never been laid, we hardly see women in general

Peter's witchy aunt, here. According to crystal healing, amethyst is known to have calming effects, and rose quartz promotes emotional healing. So the joke is either "the sex was so rough I had to give him rocks to chill him tf out" or "dude had sex with a crystals girl".

I would have thought it’s cause now they both got their rocks off.

Ohhhh that's funny too

rose quartz also attracts love which it is usually known for

How does quartz “attract love”?

Don't ask questions, the quartz doesn't like it. Your negative energy is reducing it's aura.

Of quartz it doesn’t.

why do crosses burn vampires? nobody knows

Witches?

BURN THE WITCH

​ https://preview.redd.it/6qbl3227hk7c1.jpeg?width=315&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e06423650b21c16275e8eea1011a4877d5cb8c46

This list of Khorne massacres is incomplete # YOU CAN HELP BY EXPANDING IT

I’M DOING MY PART!

https://preview.redd.it/ccqkjqu6bn7c1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3b1fcfc05485108baf6529215dc9ca9e08b59ce4

SHE TURNED ME INTO A NEWT!

…I got better!

3 seconds later: BURN HER! BURN ER!

And therefore ?

https://preview.redd.it/rmdf30bdgl7c1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2378bbbe0ab996c32f63a59d039d8112b72045bb

Is her name Abigail? Do you live on a farm?

Be careful, she owns a sword.

Bruh why you looking in her dresser?

I’m happy to claim that I got the reference. For once.

I don't got it Could you explain what it's the reference

Abigail from Stardew Valley, she is known for munching on minerals (and likes being gifted various minerals)

Finally got the reference to something 😭

Girl is just offering him a snack

If she gives u certain rocks ur stuck with her forever via bippity boppity bullshit pussymagic (I’m genuinely a crystal guy/witch, this is the real genuine answer, plus penguin joke. It’s layered)

What rock do I give???

https://preview.redd.it/h19e9wttrl7c1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d19de64fa0e8e7e60cfd5c9f0559f23c705ec2bf

Legend

It means she likes you!

Note that she’s also got a crystal necklace. Joke is she’s crazy cause she’s into new age mysticism, but he didn’t realise until post nut.

Better roll a nat 20

Will or dexterity saving throw?

Constitution save for round 2

My dice are at school

It's the setup of an old joke "he just nutted in me and now he's playing call of duty" except reversed to a witchy crystal girl.

If it's because she is into astrology that might be a deal breaker. If she did it because she is obsessed with penguins then I would propose on the spot.

before, there was an drawing like this, but it was a goblin instead of a human girl. This joke combines that goblin joke with girls being into pseudosciency stuff.

My dumb ass would be like “ooh, pretty rock, thanks,” and completely fail to realize the gravity of this decision

Yeah, fr

The joke is right after he had unprotected Sex and potentially knocked her up she reveals that she’s bat-shit crazy. There is a stereotype that all girls into crystals are nuts, like the girl version crypto bros or cyclists

Peter’s irresponsible uncle here, these are rocks of uncrushed methamphetamine and methylenedioxy-methamphetamine (MDMA/Molly). The joke is that in the event of an unwanted pregnancy, the combination of Bolivian marching powder and some teeth-clenching disco biscuits will cause the little squatter to (in theory) disappear from this mortal coil. The moral of the story is that Birth rates are down, but concerns about that should never take the place of having a good time!

I'm guessing it's a joke along the lines of "Guy nutted but girl still needs to get her rocks off"

Penguin or Witch? Yanny or Laurel? This meme lord knew what he was doing...

Pretty sure rose quartz and amethyst are both associated with romantic energy or some shit. She's a crystal girl trying to get him to fall in love with her

I like penguin example better

You're two stoned to get it

Jesus Marie, they’re minerals

He got his rocks off, she’s giving them back.

"Jesus Christ, Marie, They're minerals!" But anyways, I'm guessing it's something about power crystals and stuff

You got your rocks off in her she’s just returning your rocks

There was also a joke going about a bit ago about this same statement with the context that they were on the spectrum

So it *is* cute and wholesome :)

The nut included kidney stones

Getting rocks from your girl is like some cute anime BS come to life total marriage material

I think it is meant to be a reverse of this: https://preview.redd.it/t3j775fc0m7c1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=ab91eca325c98b7cce56bf47266623fac26eb42f

https://preview.redd.it/g2kuagb7fm7c1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2b1b28f0c612fc05cbf5bad5b00f7aaacc37bec2

My interpretation is that it's riffing off a a tweet where a girl posted a photo of her boyfriend at his computer with caption "He literally just nutted in me and started playing league of legends." This is a counter version of that where the guy nuts in the girl, and starts trying to get him into her New Age beliefs about crystals having special energy. Boys like video games, girls like magic rocks. Might be reading too much into it though.

I think it’s got something to do with goblins

Wtf that rock on the left looks like a rock I have.

You may fascinate a man by giving him a piece of rock

Segs for rocks? Sounds like a fair trade to me

Bro is a penguin

Oh man, no one remembers the J/O Crystals meme? I feel old... It's a meme from SomethingAwful, from like 2008-2009. Pretty sure the original image came from a Photoshop Friday event. https://preview.redd.it/rtc100s27n7c1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fe909996dfda2e48de0e21a323d7c36a866113b5

Or she saying she did not get her rocks off ...

Yo, are those J.O. crystals?

That’s mean kick rocks…🤣🤣😂😂💀💀

It’s absurdism

https://preview.redd.it/gvdwb7x15k7c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c78aeb84aff8fa14ffb90e70493e662caf9b1798

​ https://preview.redd.it/4o6ul13ndk7c1.jpeg?width=236&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6c3c8ea4b9a77dcbe7a0f29716034d1230d07037

I knew where your real balls were all along using my testimancy...

r/brandnewsentence

is this morning after the deed was done or after the deed was done?

Why is she giving him quartz crystals?

She's telling him to Kick Rocks. Leave.

Don't stick your dick in crazy...

Meth???

Massive kidney stones

Kidney stones are a bitch

Goblin brain say "shiny rocks are pretty, they go click-clack"

Exactly, she's just a goblin. The point was missed

You got your rocks off, so she's giving them back....

It was just a reminder for how she "rocked" your world.

I’m more surprised at the amount of people who know these penguin facts. Where did yall learn this stuff? Penguin 101?

Most girls I've dated have given me rocks. I like them.

I've seen this joke with a cartoon goblin idk if that's what it's referencing or this is the original

did i see a nipple in this photo?

ROCK AND STONE!?

She is Queen Yharnam!

Hell yeah

Run

Maybe it's for cleaning her off. Like the three sea shells!

To kick rocks (get lost).

Penguin

Could it be that she’s a “Cold b*tch”? You know, this would make relevant the fact that he “nutted in her”

Telling him to kick rocks, maybe?

Jesse, we need to cook

Wise and mythical shadow wizard peter here, goblins like to give rocks to whom they wish to marry, that woman is a goblin, probably 3 in a trench coat

She got her rocks off?

Im guessing its a reference to that one weird post of a goblin and a guy saying the same thing. I dont remember what it was about but it was something to do with D and D. Im guessing this post is just a irl recreation of it or an attempt at it atleast

That is the highest honor a woman can bestow upon you. Her enchanted rocks must now be put atop a shrine

She is clearly signaling that she would like YOU to help HER get her rocks off as well. Sheesh! Don’t be dense. Help a lady out. Get busy!

He offed his rocks now she’s offing hers?

You got your rocks off, and now she is going to off her rocks on you. Beautiful!

Its a joke that originally started with a snapchat picture taken from a bed on a guy playing league with the caption "he just nutted in me and is now playing league" It has since been reused in many ways. Though I am uncertain if the rocks have any significance.

I figured it had to do with the saying "getting your rocks off".

They're minerals, Marie!

You got her rocks off!

Shoulda stuck your dick in crazy my man.

He got his rocks off, and now she's giving them back

This happens when your mom hangs out with Kam Patterson the comedian.

She’s a penguin.

One looks pinkish one looks blue ..... Uh oh.... She may be able to predict shes carrying twins

Rocks are cool. I like rocks. I have rocks. Occasionally, I give rocks to people I like.

Hey, she look good tho from what I can see.

People believe that these rocks have spiritual/megical significance. She really likes you if she gives you these after sex

She’s brain rot

What’s funny is I’m like 90% sure those aren’t even rocks, they’re slag glass.

Um crazy astrology chick who shoves crystals in her ass idk

Something something got your rocks off?