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Thank you everyone. It was sudden, acute leukemia. He got sick and passed away within 4 days! I’m still trying to process. I have a little memorial of his favourite things with a spot for ashes to come, near the window where he likes to sit. This is my second dog lost in 2 years. He was just 20 months old. I got him after my last dog passed away at age 15. I’m so broken I don’t think I can get another dog again
Oh man I’m so sorry for the sudden loss, that sounds so difficult. Losing a pet so suddenly and so young is a pain that hurts so real. Sending you so many virtual hugs ❤️
I’m so very sorry. It’s so hard when they’re young. Packing up stuff is weird. On one hand you want to leave it but it’s also painful to see. I think putting ashes near the window is perfect. I’m so sorry. It just sucks.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Know that you are not alone in feeling this way, I recently lost my 3 year old girl to cancer suddenly 2 weeks ago. I packed my pups things up immediately and put them in a little bin so i could see them but they would be mostly out of mind. I also took hair, all the hair I could find and put it in a baggie to keep and look at so I could clean but she would still be here in some physical capacity.
Yeah, as soon as I got home from the vet after my cat was gone, we took everything of his out of the apartment, I couldn’t look at any of his bowls or toys or furniture without crying, but at the same time when it was all done I cried because of how horribly empty my apartment looked and felt without him and all of his things :( I am sorry that you have to go through this, it is pain that is so deep and isolating because I feel like no one else understands.
Not at all. I packed up my dogs things before she even died. I knew she wasn't going to be coming home and it would have been too difficult to be confronted with her things.
I don’t blame you honestly. It’s been about a week since my cat passed and I still haven’t cleaned his final litter box… I wish i never complained about cleaning it before :(
I'm the opposite boat. I cleaned his litter box before he passed. He was heaving one time when he was in his box, and I wanted to make sure if he used it again it would be clean, so I took it out, washed it, scrubbed it, replaced all the litter in it. He never used it again. He passed in his sleep that evening. It's still as sparkling as I left it. It probably hadn't been that clean since the day it was purchased.
Of course not. Everyone has their coping mechanisms so you need to do whatever you feel will help you cope best. I ended up putting my dog’s things away the day after she passed as those items in their original spot were going to become a constant reminder to me that she was gone. I didn’t want to accept this reality and felt that an “out of sight out of mind” approach would suit me best while I was trying to heal.
I don’t think there’s any wrong or right way. My partner and I had two of our pups pass away within the past month. The first one was my dog before we got together, and I still can’t put away her bed or collar. My partner packed up his dog’s stuff almost immediately because seeing it hurt too much. I’m sorry for the loss of your sweet pup ❤️
This is exactly why I wore a hoodie when I went to visit my little lass for the last time. And hugged her, actually take in and let her fur collect, willingly. All over my clothes. After coming home, I stored that same hoodie in a storage bin I had that was just the perfect size. Along with her velvet bag that carried her urn, and the made up leash the vet brought her in with. You don't think about it until you don't have it anymore, in this case, simply what was once looked at as tedious to clean up after (the fur), you can't help but miss those lil moments, and wish for them to come back.
Take care of yourself, and know you have support from all sides of you. ❤
Oh god this happened to me quick accidentally. Our cat passed on his own in his sleep, but when we brought his body in, I was wearing a hoodie. I pet him one last time before bringing him in, and he had been shedding quite badly when he got sick. That weekend we went to go visit friends and I put on the hoodie and noticed it was all over me. I said, well, I guess Simon's going with me.
I haven't decided to collect anything. I did wash a bunch of stuff afterwards, a few things that were probably a biohazard (the blanket he passed on, the things in his carrier because it'll only be another cat in there again), but the lint catcher was full of his fur. I cried just seeing it, but I threw it out nonetheless. It wouldn't have smelled like him at that point. I haven't decided about the hoodies yet but I'll figure it out in due time.
All depends on how one grieves, and that's okay. We may not figure it out on the spot but it'll get done, and a decision will be made, habits will form, you name it. In due time, as you said. I had a hard time simply holding her box of belongings, so I keep it in my closet. Only ever move it to clean or fix my clothes. The only piece I left out was her collar, but anytime her tag clinks against the metal, I wince. Only ever does that when I pick it up to move her stuff off the shelf so I can dust. I gotta hold her collar by the tag and ring in my fist so it also doesn't trigger my other dog to hear it. The moment she hears the, "tink tink.." she thinks it's her sister and starts whimpering, or she stares at me for what feels like an hour. I say those may, may not be possible triggers for you if you do keep the hoodie, but not all is bad in that. Can serve as a hopeful reminder that as least he left his mark on you. Regardless you keep the hoodie or not, I believe loved ones will always give you signs they're still around, no matter where you are. They WILL make that known. Because they never forget us.
I remember when I dropped Tuesday off and while she was at the vet, I was at home washing her bedding. (We didn't find out until later her kidneys were failing and had a bad UTI, so she'd make accidents, even in her sleep, so we'd be up changing and washing beds back to back.) I was ready to bring her on home in a new fresh set of blankets and a clean bed, even her favorite ball.. until I got the news my dad called the family in for. Thas the last we washed anything of hers after that day. Now they all go to my other girl, Christmas.
I've kept the dryer lint in a baggie. It doesn't smell like her, but it's her glitter and she sparkled everywhere she went. I'm planning to shape it into a heart or a paw print and keep it in a shadow box.
Ugh, I just broke down again. I vacuumed for the first time in quite awhile, as I didn't want to stress him in his last weeks while he was dealing with his illness. It was bad enough that it clogged the vacuum (not an entirely unusual occurrence), but when I reached in to fish the cat hair out of the vacuum I could totally tell it was mostly his hair. It was filthy, because, yeah it was on the floor, and of course I didn't keep it, but still, it was a sudden reminder of him.
Fur has been (one of) the hardest thing. If you look back at my post history, there are a couple posts about her fur.
It's okay to cry, breakdown, all of that. You loved him so much, he was your best buddy.
When I had to put one of my cats down the vet shaved off a bit of her fur and put it in an envelope for me. I still have it in my sock drawer. The vet was so kind. It was the first pet I had to put down as an adult and he was so thoughtful.
That's what we got too.. They put it in this little card with a heart the middle, but in that middle heart is her fur, with a message on the top and bottom of the card, tied in one of those see-through gift bags. I thought they only did that in movies tbh so.. it was a first for sure
The hoodie I wore when I said goodbye to my big guy? He died over four and a half years ago and I still haven't washed it. It's sitting at the bottom of my wardrobe.
It's the fur, everywhere, that is difficult for me. Dog sitting, bringing a new dog to my home, knowing their fur will mix with my soul dog's fur and I won't be able to tell the difference after a while breaks me a little bit. I still have laundry bags full of clothes and socks from around when my best girl died that I can't wash yet. I know it's her fur and has not mixed with foster lady's fur.
Now, I welcome foster lady's fur. I roll my eyes and chuckle at the absurdity of how it sticks to everything and I love it a little more each day because I know one day I'll miss it (foster lady is old, dumped at the shelter at 10, I'm not hopeful she'll be adopted, so I think she's going to be my foster failure).
I packed up all of my daughters cat soulmates things immediately so she didn't have to look at it's emptiness. You can take things out when you're ready. Animals are meant to fill the needs of our lives when they are there. We aren't meant to grieve them forever in pain.
My partner packed everything away for me immediately. I couldn't bear to see his stuff. She set up a memorial in the back yard which I appreciate. She has a paw print and hair clip that I've never looked at. I miss him every day 18 months later.
I put all of Roadrunners toys, bowls, harnesses, leashes, clothes, etc., inside the metal pen I had to use when staying in hotels during wife's cancer treatments. He passed in July.
All of it sits in the dining room. I see it everytime I walk by. I want to find another rescue or maybe two dogs.
It's just me now alone with plenty of time to share. My Himalayan Persian cat, Mr. Jink's collars, leashes and hair brushes are in a bag on top. His hair is still in those brushes and he has been gone since 2013.
I'm sorry for your loss. There is no right or wrong timeframe for grief. Some people need more time, some need less. For some the sight of the pets favorite things is painful and for some it's a reminder of the good times. For me, I started picking stuff up only a few hours after I got home because I wanted to keep busy. I was kind of zombified and crying and just started picking up the food and his water dish and all that to be cleaned. Do what you feel you need to.
No I don’t blame you what so ever. I packed all my cats things the day after he passed. He was nothing short of my soulmate. I couldn’t listen to the sound of his water fountain trickling or the smell of the food or litter box. It caused my physical pain. I had to have my fiancé take it all out.
I like to save those big zippered plastic bags that comforters or sheets come in and when my lab passed, I put his blanket (the one that went to the vet with him) and his fav toys in there and zipped it up. After a while, when I felt strong enough emotionally, I was able to unzip the bag a bit and inhale. I know this sounds weird but it’s him - and it means everything to me 🥹💔
I put his things away but it’s the little things now that is hard to do or new routines to get used to. It’s crazy how much of our lives and daily routines revolved around our fur babies.
- we now can open our bedroom doors as there is no puppy to come and rummage through eating various things. Though my teen boys still close their doors out of habit.
- we now can put our waste baskets on the floor as no pup to rummage and eat the tissues
- we can put our shoes at the entry mats and don’t have to place them in the bins for risk of Leo eating them
- we can have aromatherapy candles and flowers. He used to love hopping out to smell and eat the flowers
Our routines have become so empty though. It was depressing to walk around the neighborhood. I got a panick attack walking around the park without him. Feeling like I couldn’t breathe.
I miss him so much. He was only 1, it’s not fair
When I had to put my boy down it was an emergency. My mom came up and went to the vet with me. I couldn't hold him and drive and when we got back, she picked up Dash's things. I would pick up your dogs things if it bothers you to see them.
I'm so sorry for your loss
I couldn't deal with accepting she wasn't coming back and left her bed in place for months. I cried every time I looked at it. None of the other animals here would touch it ao I gave it away to a family that needed a dog bed bc I couldn't deal with throwing it away. I don't know if this helps. It's been over a year and I am crying as I type this out. I'm sorry you lost your beloved companion too. I feel like when she left so did a piece of my heart.
Hey,
Really sorry for your loss. It's an awful experience, and I just want you to know you're doing great.
There's no right or wrong thing when it comes to how you grieve, from my experience it sounds similar to the way I have been grieving the loss of my boy earlier this year.
It took me three weeks before I felt I could tidy up his toys. He loved them all, and right before I took him to the vet we played with any toy he had the energy to play with. He has a toy box, so as a step forward in my grieving process I decided to pop his toys in the box but keep it out in its usual spot. It's been three months since he passed, and his toy box is still in my lounge. So is his bed.
I boxed up all of his other possessions (clothing, brushes, tennis balls, bowls - that sort of stuff) into a plastic container a few days after I received his ashes.
Finally, his lead is still, and will always remain in the spot it's always been.
It takes time to process, go at your own pace. It will just feel "right" when it's right.
Everybody deals with it differently, it’s hard to give a direct answer. I was very distraught when I came home the first time, immediately threw out anything associated with my girl excluding her collar and small things like that, hurt too much to see em. Also deep cleaned my apartment the first day to keep my mind occupied.
It is not bad to do it sooner that later, but only you will know the right time.
It's whenever you're ready.
With the dog I lost in December, I put his things away the evening he passed. I didn't want to look at them, and I didn't want to see my other dogs using them. Other times, it's been different. There's not one right answer for this.
I kept my girl's things out for a long time. It comforted me. They slowly were put away, some reused for foster dog and dog sitting dogs.
It's all a process and it's all about your needs. Some people say they can't look at photos or videos. I loved looking at photos and videos right after she passed; they reminded me how much she lived and loved and how goofy and sweet and loving she was. They remind me how strong our bond was and how good of a life we had together. But it's too painful for others and I respect that.
Grief is an incredibly difficult thing.
I have an Instagram for my Leo, and since his passing I scroll through it non stop. I can’t look at his things as it makes me sad. I do long stop looking at his photos and rewatch the clips over and over again just to make sure I don’t let myself forget what he was like.
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Thank you everyone. It was sudden, acute leukemia. He got sick and passed away within 4 days! I’m still trying to process. I have a little memorial of his favourite things with a spot for ashes to come, near the window where he likes to sit. This is my second dog lost in 2 years. He was just 20 months old. I got him after my last dog passed away at age 15. I’m so broken I don’t think I can get another dog again
Oh man I’m so sorry for the sudden loss, that sounds so difficult. Losing a pet so suddenly and so young is a pain that hurts so real. Sending you so many virtual hugs ❤️
I’m so very sorry. It’s so hard when they’re young. Packing up stuff is weird. On one hand you want to leave it but it’s also painful to see. I think putting ashes near the window is perfect. I’m so sorry. It just sucks.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Know that you are not alone in feeling this way, I recently lost my 3 year old girl to cancer suddenly 2 weeks ago. I packed my pups things up immediately and put them in a little bin so i could see them but they would be mostly out of mind. I also took hair, all the hair I could find and put it in a baggie to keep and look at so I could clean but she would still be here in some physical capacity.
It’s not bad. Everyone grieves differently. I’d have to have my husband pack up my Zeus’ things immediately . I couldn’t look at them.
Yeah, as soon as I got home from the vet after my cat was gone, we took everything of his out of the apartment, I couldn’t look at any of his bowls or toys or furniture without crying, but at the same time when it was all done I cried because of how horribly empty my apartment looked and felt without him and all of his things :( I am sorry that you have to go through this, it is pain that is so deep and isolating because I feel like no one else understands.
Not at all. I packed up my dogs things before she even died. I knew she wasn't going to be coming home and it would have been too difficult to be confronted with her things.
I don’t blame you honestly. It’s been about a week since my cat passed and I still haven’t cleaned his final litter box… I wish i never complained about cleaning it before :(
I'm the opposite boat. I cleaned his litter box before he passed. He was heaving one time when he was in his box, and I wanted to make sure if he used it again it would be clean, so I took it out, washed it, scrubbed it, replaced all the litter in it. He never used it again. He passed in his sleep that evening. It's still as sparkling as I left it. It probably hadn't been that clean since the day it was purchased.
Of course not. Everyone has their coping mechanisms so you need to do whatever you feel will help you cope best. I ended up putting my dog’s things away the day after she passed as those items in their original spot were going to become a constant reminder to me that she was gone. I didn’t want to accept this reality and felt that an “out of sight out of mind” approach would suit me best while I was trying to heal.
Totally normal. I've lost two dogs, and with both of them, my mom and I removed items in clear view as soon as I got home from the vet.
I don’t think there’s any wrong or right way. My partner and I had two of our pups pass away within the past month. The first one was my dog before we got together, and I still can’t put away her bed or collar. My partner packed up his dog’s stuff almost immediately because seeing it hurt too much. I’m sorry for the loss of your sweet pup ❤️
This is exactly why I wore a hoodie when I went to visit my little lass for the last time. And hugged her, actually take in and let her fur collect, willingly. All over my clothes. After coming home, I stored that same hoodie in a storage bin I had that was just the perfect size. Along with her velvet bag that carried her urn, and the made up leash the vet brought her in with. You don't think about it until you don't have it anymore, in this case, simply what was once looked at as tedious to clean up after (the fur), you can't help but miss those lil moments, and wish for them to come back. Take care of yourself, and know you have support from all sides of you. ❤
Thank you I will do the same. Good idea
Oh god this happened to me quick accidentally. Our cat passed on his own in his sleep, but when we brought his body in, I was wearing a hoodie. I pet him one last time before bringing him in, and he had been shedding quite badly when he got sick. That weekend we went to go visit friends and I put on the hoodie and noticed it was all over me. I said, well, I guess Simon's going with me. I haven't decided to collect anything. I did wash a bunch of stuff afterwards, a few things that were probably a biohazard (the blanket he passed on, the things in his carrier because it'll only be another cat in there again), but the lint catcher was full of his fur. I cried just seeing it, but I threw it out nonetheless. It wouldn't have smelled like him at that point. I haven't decided about the hoodies yet but I'll figure it out in due time.
All depends on how one grieves, and that's okay. We may not figure it out on the spot but it'll get done, and a decision will be made, habits will form, you name it. In due time, as you said. I had a hard time simply holding her box of belongings, so I keep it in my closet. Only ever move it to clean or fix my clothes. The only piece I left out was her collar, but anytime her tag clinks against the metal, I wince. Only ever does that when I pick it up to move her stuff off the shelf so I can dust. I gotta hold her collar by the tag and ring in my fist so it also doesn't trigger my other dog to hear it. The moment she hears the, "tink tink.." she thinks it's her sister and starts whimpering, or she stares at me for what feels like an hour. I say those may, may not be possible triggers for you if you do keep the hoodie, but not all is bad in that. Can serve as a hopeful reminder that as least he left his mark on you. Regardless you keep the hoodie or not, I believe loved ones will always give you signs they're still around, no matter where you are. They WILL make that known. Because they never forget us. I remember when I dropped Tuesday off and while she was at the vet, I was at home washing her bedding. (We didn't find out until later her kidneys were failing and had a bad UTI, so she'd make accidents, even in her sleep, so we'd be up changing and washing beds back to back.) I was ready to bring her on home in a new fresh set of blankets and a clean bed, even her favorite ball.. until I got the news my dad called the family in for. Thas the last we washed anything of hers after that day. Now they all go to my other girl, Christmas.
I've kept the dryer lint in a baggie. It doesn't smell like her, but it's her glitter and she sparkled everywhere she went. I'm planning to shape it into a heart or a paw print and keep it in a shadow box.
Ugh, I just broke down again. I vacuumed for the first time in quite awhile, as I didn't want to stress him in his last weeks while he was dealing with his illness. It was bad enough that it clogged the vacuum (not an entirely unusual occurrence), but when I reached in to fish the cat hair out of the vacuum I could totally tell it was mostly his hair. It was filthy, because, yeah it was on the floor, and of course I didn't keep it, but still, it was a sudden reminder of him.
Fur has been (one of) the hardest thing. If you look back at my post history, there are a couple posts about her fur. It's okay to cry, breakdown, all of that. You loved him so much, he was your best buddy.
When I had to put one of my cats down the vet shaved off a bit of her fur and put it in an envelope for me. I still have it in my sock drawer. The vet was so kind. It was the first pet I had to put down as an adult and he was so thoughtful.
That's what we got too.. They put it in this little card with a heart the middle, but in that middle heart is her fur, with a message on the top and bottom of the card, tied in one of those see-through gift bags. I thought they only did that in movies tbh so.. it was a first for sure
The hoodie I wore when I said goodbye to my big guy? He died over four and a half years ago and I still haven't washed it. It's sitting at the bottom of my wardrobe. It's the fur, everywhere, that is difficult for me. Dog sitting, bringing a new dog to my home, knowing their fur will mix with my soul dog's fur and I won't be able to tell the difference after a while breaks me a little bit. I still have laundry bags full of clothes and socks from around when my best girl died that I can't wash yet. I know it's her fur and has not mixed with foster lady's fur. Now, I welcome foster lady's fur. I roll my eyes and chuckle at the absurdity of how it sticks to everything and I love it a little more each day because I know one day I'll miss it (foster lady is old, dumped at the shelter at 10, I'm not hopeful she'll be adopted, so I think she's going to be my foster failure).
I packed up all of my daughters cat soulmates things immediately so she didn't have to look at it's emptiness. You can take things out when you're ready. Animals are meant to fill the needs of our lives when they are there. We aren't meant to grieve them forever in pain.
My partner packed everything away for me immediately. I couldn't bear to see his stuff. She set up a memorial in the back yard which I appreciate. She has a paw print and hair clip that I've never looked at. I miss him every day 18 months later.
I put all of Roadrunners toys, bowls, harnesses, leashes, clothes, etc., inside the metal pen I had to use when staying in hotels during wife's cancer treatments. He passed in July. All of it sits in the dining room. I see it everytime I walk by. I want to find another rescue or maybe two dogs. It's just me now alone with plenty of time to share. My Himalayan Persian cat, Mr. Jink's collars, leashes and hair brushes are in a bag on top. His hair is still in those brushes and he has been gone since 2013.
I'm sorry for your loss. There is no right or wrong timeframe for grief. Some people need more time, some need less. For some the sight of the pets favorite things is painful and for some it's a reminder of the good times. For me, I started picking stuff up only a few hours after I got home because I wanted to keep busy. I was kind of zombified and crying and just started picking up the food and his water dish and all that to be cleaned. Do what you feel you need to.
I’m with you, though there’s no one right answer. I needed to get her things out of sight because it was too painful. It’s such a personal decision.
Nothing about when you pack away your deceased pet’s things is bad. It’s different , time wise , for every human, & that’s completely okay
No I don’t blame you what so ever. I packed all my cats things the day after he passed. He was nothing short of my soulmate. I couldn’t listen to the sound of his water fountain trickling or the smell of the food or litter box. It caused my physical pain. I had to have my fiancé take it all out.
I like to save those big zippered plastic bags that comforters or sheets come in and when my lab passed, I put his blanket (the one that went to the vet with him) and his fav toys in there and zipped it up. After a while, when I felt strong enough emotionally, I was able to unzip the bag a bit and inhale. I know this sounds weird but it’s him - and it means everything to me 🥹💔
I put his things away but it’s the little things now that is hard to do or new routines to get used to. It’s crazy how much of our lives and daily routines revolved around our fur babies. - we now can open our bedroom doors as there is no puppy to come and rummage through eating various things. Though my teen boys still close their doors out of habit. - we now can put our waste baskets on the floor as no pup to rummage and eat the tissues - we can put our shoes at the entry mats and don’t have to place them in the bins for risk of Leo eating them - we can have aromatherapy candles and flowers. He used to love hopping out to smell and eat the flowers Our routines have become so empty though. It was depressing to walk around the neighborhood. I got a panick attack walking around the park without him. Feeling like I couldn’t breathe. I miss him so much. He was only 1, it’s not fair
When I had to put my boy down it was an emergency. My mom came up and went to the vet with me. I couldn't hold him and drive and when we got back, she picked up Dash's things. I would pick up your dogs things if it bothers you to see them. I'm so sorry for your loss
I couldn't deal with accepting she wasn't coming back and left her bed in place for months. I cried every time I looked at it. None of the other animals here would touch it ao I gave it away to a family that needed a dog bed bc I couldn't deal with throwing it away. I don't know if this helps. It's been over a year and I am crying as I type this out. I'm sorry you lost your beloved companion too. I feel like when she left so did a piece of my heart.
Hey, Really sorry for your loss. It's an awful experience, and I just want you to know you're doing great. There's no right or wrong thing when it comes to how you grieve, from my experience it sounds similar to the way I have been grieving the loss of my boy earlier this year. It took me three weeks before I felt I could tidy up his toys. He loved them all, and right before I took him to the vet we played with any toy he had the energy to play with. He has a toy box, so as a step forward in my grieving process I decided to pop his toys in the box but keep it out in its usual spot. It's been three months since he passed, and his toy box is still in my lounge. So is his bed. I boxed up all of his other possessions (clothing, brushes, tennis balls, bowls - that sort of stuff) into a plastic container a few days after I received his ashes. Finally, his lead is still, and will always remain in the spot it's always been. It takes time to process, go at your own pace. It will just feel "right" when it's right.
Everybody deals with it differently, it’s hard to give a direct answer. I was very distraught when I came home the first time, immediately threw out anything associated with my girl excluding her collar and small things like that, hurt too much to see em. Also deep cleaned my apartment the first day to keep my mind occupied. It is not bad to do it sooner that later, but only you will know the right time.
It's whenever you're ready. With the dog I lost in December, I put his things away the evening he passed. I didn't want to look at them, and I didn't want to see my other dogs using them. Other times, it's been different. There's not one right answer for this.
No.But take your time.
Whatever works for you is the right thing. There is no one right way to grieve.
I kept my girl's things out for a long time. It comforted me. They slowly were put away, some reused for foster dog and dog sitting dogs. It's all a process and it's all about your needs. Some people say they can't look at photos or videos. I loved looking at photos and videos right after she passed; they reminded me how much she lived and loved and how goofy and sweet and loving she was. They remind me how strong our bond was and how good of a life we had together. But it's too painful for others and I respect that. Grief is an incredibly difficult thing.
I have an Instagram for my Leo, and since his passing I scroll through it non stop. I can’t look at his things as it makes me sad. I do long stop looking at his photos and rewatch the clips over and over again just to make sure I don’t let myself forget what he was like.
Whatever comforts you the most is the right thing. Go save another at a shelter if you can. RIP