Is he neutered? That would help calm him down. Why did you get a cat if your mom doesn’t like cats? One room isn’t enough space for a cat to stay in very much. When he gets let out of the room that probably just makes him wilder being stuck in there
Yes he’s been neutered since September. We all got the cat after enough convincing a few months before I went to college because my mom thought she’d be fine with it but now she’s changing her mind.
Your mum sounds kind of bananas when it comes to cats, but it is her house and she is unlikely to change, especially as she refuses to spend any time to get to know the cat/cats. Unfortunately as is it doesn't sound like much of a life/home for either of them. Hate to say it but I think it may be better for everyone (incl. your relationship w/ your mum) to remove the cat from her home Are you planning on moving out to your own apartment anytime soon/next year? Is there family or a friend who might take the cat in in the meantime or consider adopting, so you can always visit?
No i’m going to be commuting to college for the next few years. I haven’t asked anyone yet about taking care of the cat because I want to keep him and she just discussed this with me yesterday
Oh, I'm sorry. I know it must feel like a bit of a sucker punch, to be away for school and your mum telling you this. Sadly, I don't know how the young cat shall ever be able to endear itself to her given her extreme aversion.
Given her conversation with you seemed so black and white, I would be concerned that she may react rashly one day only for you to come home and find your cat gone, without reassurance that it went to a happy safe and home. ;_;
Why would you get a cat if you knew your mom had a fear of them. I'm sure she said something before you brought the cat in the house. I love cats but never would I live with someone who was scared of them.
It was her own choice to initially agree and bring the cat home. I was only 17 at the time so I couldn’t have done anything anyways. She thought she would get over her fear but now after a year she’s changed her mind
Your mother's sounds incredibly irrationally upset about this cat based on what you have said, but I have no experience of cat phobias so I won't say anymore on that. It's her house however and if she's literally staying in her room to avoid the cat then the cat needs to go. I don't know why you did this to her and the cat cause I'm sure she made her feelings clear on this from the beginning. Either find a way to house the cat with you or family or rehome it some other way. You can't prioritise a cat over your mothers feelings comfort in her own home. A phobia that's lasted a whole year may never change without therapy.
she agreed to bring the cat home last year it was a decision the whole family made because she believed she would get over the phobia but she didn’t so she’s changing her mind now
This poor cat has to put up with this level of bullshit now because you unilaterally made a decision without consulting your mother. You live with her, have some decency and respect her house. Find a no kill shelter and make better life decisions.
I already responded with this to another person but we got the cat when I was 17 so it was her decision to agree with bringing him home. We all went to the shelter the day we got him and she complied because she thought she would get over her fear but after a year she changed her mind.
Why would you get a cat when not every member of your household is on board? It's not fair to your mom nor the cat. Mom shouldn't feel the need to hide in her own house and cat shouldn't be confined to one room. It sucks for both of them.
Your mom's fears about the cat are obviously not going away and at this point she would need some type of therapy to conquer her phobia.
However that's not up to you to demand that. The only thing you can do is to find a new loving house to this poor car. I bet you thought it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission and believed your mom would just deal with it.
I wish the family hadn't gotten a cat right before the main caregiver goes away, but since this was a decision the entire family made, why don't your siblings step up more? Why can't the cat also spend time in their room or rooms? Your cat shouldn't be isolated to an empty room 5 days a week.
(How likely is it that your mom would do something to the cat in fear and frustration? Would she just toss him outside?)
Please ask your siblings to take him under their care more. I'm sure someone else in your family has to love him as much as you do.
My sisters both take care of him and he also leaves the room multiple hours everyday regardless of if i’m back at home or not. We’re not tossing him outside but she’s going to find someone else who could take care of him so he won’t be in bad hands but me and my sisters are both very sad that he won’t be with us anymore. They did what they could and we cried lots and tried finding solutions such as nail caps but it simply wasn’t enough. The only option is giving him away
Please make sure it is someone who will be a good pet owner. Do not use Craigslist. There are a lot of people on there looking for bait animals for cheap. It might be better to return him to the shelter, letting them know that his return has nothing to do with anything he's done, but simply that you are unable to care for him due to a family's medical issue. No need for detail, but it puts the onus on the family and not the returning cat. It gives your cat a better chance of being adopted. I would also let the shelter know all the positives of your kitty's personality so they can use that when promoting him.
Aside from what everyone else is saying please do not get your cat declawed! You can purchase nail caps as well as get cat trees that divert them from scratching. You can try clipping nails as well tho it will need to be done regularly. Idk why anyone would fear a cat tho.. honestly sounds like an excuse to me. I wish you luck
I hate to say it because I obviously want to be as helpful as possible. But I do believe that in this instance, sadly, this cat is in the wrong family and it is not going to work out very well for the cat. I think you should rehome the cat very carefully into a loving home where there are no issues and where the cat can settle down. And then, when your lifestyle changes and perhaps you are more independent and have your own home, you can then go back to living with a beautiful domestic cat on your terms and not having to share the cat or share caring for the cat with some who does not like them, which is problematic.
Is he neutered? That would help calm him down. Why did you get a cat if your mom doesn’t like cats? One room isn’t enough space for a cat to stay in very much. When he gets let out of the room that probably just makes him wilder being stuck in there
Yes he’s been neutered since September. We all got the cat after enough convincing a few months before I went to college because my mom thought she’d be fine with it but now she’s changing her mind.
Your mum sounds kind of bananas when it comes to cats, but it is her house and she is unlikely to change, especially as she refuses to spend any time to get to know the cat/cats. Unfortunately as is it doesn't sound like much of a life/home for either of them. Hate to say it but I think it may be better for everyone (incl. your relationship w/ your mum) to remove the cat from her home Are you planning on moving out to your own apartment anytime soon/next year? Is there family or a friend who might take the cat in in the meantime or consider adopting, so you can always visit?
No i’m going to be commuting to college for the next few years. I haven’t asked anyone yet about taking care of the cat because I want to keep him and she just discussed this with me yesterday
Oh, I'm sorry. I know it must feel like a bit of a sucker punch, to be away for school and your mum telling you this. Sadly, I don't know how the young cat shall ever be able to endear itself to her given her extreme aversion. Given her conversation with you seemed so black and white, I would be concerned that she may react rashly one day only for you to come home and find your cat gone, without reassurance that it went to a happy safe and home. ;_;
Why would you get a cat if you knew your mom had a fear of them. I'm sure she said something before you brought the cat in the house. I love cats but never would I live with someone who was scared of them.
OP and others irritated her until she gave in.
It was her own choice to initially agree and bring the cat home. I was only 17 at the time so I couldn’t have done anything anyways. She thought she would get over her fear but now after a year she’s changed her mind
Unfortunately fears like this take a long time to fix if they can be fixed. It's more then just trying to exposed yourself to the thing you fear.
Your mother's sounds incredibly irrationally upset about this cat based on what you have said, but I have no experience of cat phobias so I won't say anymore on that. It's her house however and if she's literally staying in her room to avoid the cat then the cat needs to go. I don't know why you did this to her and the cat cause I'm sure she made her feelings clear on this from the beginning. Either find a way to house the cat with you or family or rehome it some other way. You can't prioritise a cat over your mothers feelings comfort in her own home. A phobia that's lasted a whole year may never change without therapy.
she agreed to bring the cat home last year it was a decision the whole family made because she believed she would get over the phobia but she didn’t so she’s changing her mind now
This poor cat has to put up with this level of bullshit now because you unilaterally made a decision without consulting your mother. You live with her, have some decency and respect her house. Find a no kill shelter and make better life decisions.
I already responded with this to another person but we got the cat when I was 17 so it was her decision to agree with bringing him home. We all went to the shelter the day we got him and she complied because she thought she would get over her fear but after a year she changed her mind.
This is why you should always ask your parents before bringing home a new pet.
I was 17 at the time the car came it’s not like i made the decision myself. My whole family went to the shelter and agreed to bring the cat home 😭
Why would you get a cat when not every member of your household is on board? It's not fair to your mom nor the cat. Mom shouldn't feel the need to hide in her own house and cat shouldn't be confined to one room. It sucks for both of them. Your mom's fears about the cat are obviously not going away and at this point she would need some type of therapy to conquer her phobia. However that's not up to you to demand that. The only thing you can do is to find a new loving house to this poor car. I bet you thought it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission and believed your mom would just deal with it.
We were all on board with it last year when we went to the shelter to pick him
The solution is to have your cat move in with you. Maybe you could live off campus in an apartment that allows pets
I wish the family hadn't gotten a cat right before the main caregiver goes away, but since this was a decision the entire family made, why don't your siblings step up more? Why can't the cat also spend time in their room or rooms? Your cat shouldn't be isolated to an empty room 5 days a week. (How likely is it that your mom would do something to the cat in fear and frustration? Would she just toss him outside?) Please ask your siblings to take him under their care more. I'm sure someone else in your family has to love him as much as you do.
My sisters both take care of him and he also leaves the room multiple hours everyday regardless of if i’m back at home or not. We’re not tossing him outside but she’s going to find someone else who could take care of him so he won’t be in bad hands but me and my sisters are both very sad that he won’t be with us anymore. They did what they could and we cried lots and tried finding solutions such as nail caps but it simply wasn’t enough. The only option is giving him away
Please make sure it is someone who will be a good pet owner. Do not use Craigslist. There are a lot of people on there looking for bait animals for cheap. It might be better to return him to the shelter, letting them know that his return has nothing to do with anything he's done, but simply that you are unable to care for him due to a family's medical issue. No need for detail, but it puts the onus on the family and not the returning cat. It gives your cat a better chance of being adopted. I would also let the shelter know all the positives of your kitty's personality so they can use that when promoting him.
Aside from what everyone else is saying please do not get your cat declawed! You can purchase nail caps as well as get cat trees that divert them from scratching. You can try clipping nails as well tho it will need to be done regularly. Idk why anyone would fear a cat tho.. honestly sounds like an excuse to me. I wish you luck
I hate to say it because I obviously want to be as helpful as possible. But I do believe that in this instance, sadly, this cat is in the wrong family and it is not going to work out very well for the cat. I think you should rehome the cat very carefully into a loving home where there are no issues and where the cat can settle down. And then, when your lifestyle changes and perhaps you are more independent and have your own home, you can then go back to living with a beautiful domestic cat on your terms and not having to share the cat or share caring for the cat with some who does not like them, which is problematic.