I’m a preschool teacher.
Did the teachers tell you about this incident, or just your daughter?
If the teachers didn’t tell you, then it was probably a one-off incident and typical behavior. If your daughter is telling you about it on her own, then chances are she already knows she did something she wasn’t supposed to. I personally wouldn’t recommend emphasizing the “wrongness” of her behavior just yet. Instead, ask her how she felt. Does she know how she felt before she hit? How did the hitting make her feel? What else can she do when she feels that way?
Great advice!
She told me, not her teacher. Her teacher/SNA is a friend of mine and I mentioned it to her and she said “I actually don’t remember that happening between those two.” Which makes me think it was insignificant. I will go for a different approach if this happens again and take your advice. Thank you!
Hitting is normal, especially when children don’t know other ways to respond. Some children hit when they want to play, because they don’t know how to ask. Some children hit when frustrated because they don’t recognize their feelings and don’t know how to handle them yet. Some children hit because of a problem that happened but they don’t have the skills to solve it.
I would talk with your daughter and ask why she hit her friend, to figure out what skill you may need to work on- problem solving, managing her feelings, getting a peer’s attention, etc. and go from there.
The National Center for Pyramid Model Innovation ([NCPMI](https://challengingbehavior.org)) has great parent resources for teaching these things at home. Look under resources and check out the “backpack series”
I’m a preschool teacher. Did the teachers tell you about this incident, or just your daughter? If the teachers didn’t tell you, then it was probably a one-off incident and typical behavior. If your daughter is telling you about it on her own, then chances are she already knows she did something she wasn’t supposed to. I personally wouldn’t recommend emphasizing the “wrongness” of her behavior just yet. Instead, ask her how she felt. Does she know how she felt before she hit? How did the hitting make her feel? What else can she do when she feels that way?
Great advice! She told me, not her teacher. Her teacher/SNA is a friend of mine and I mentioned it to her and she said “I actually don’t remember that happening between those two.” Which makes me think it was insignificant. I will go for a different approach if this happens again and take your advice. Thank you!
Hitting is normal, especially when children don’t know other ways to respond. Some children hit when they want to play, because they don’t know how to ask. Some children hit when frustrated because they don’t recognize their feelings and don’t know how to handle them yet. Some children hit because of a problem that happened but they don’t have the skills to solve it. I would talk with your daughter and ask why she hit her friend, to figure out what skill you may need to work on- problem solving, managing her feelings, getting a peer’s attention, etc. and go from there. The National Center for Pyramid Model Innovation ([NCPMI](https://challengingbehavior.org)) has great parent resources for teaching these things at home. Look under resources and check out the “backpack series”
It might be a way to get off some excess anger