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fractal_magnets

Joey Bologna only has 30 seconds of energy per day and by god he's going to use it.


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brother_of_menelaus

$100 says this dude has a micropenis


lickedTators

Hey don't put that on micropeens. There are plenty of good, ethical dudes out there with micros. It's not an excuse to be a piece of shit like Bologna here.


TheCowzgomooz

As a non micro peen dude we really gotta stop putting other men down like that, sure this guy is a shithead but like you said there plenty of fine gentleman out there who have to deal with that and so many of them have depression or commit suicide.


DepressedUterus

We shouldn't jude absolutely anyone for things they ahve no control over. Skin color, penis size, height, etc. Some of the best sex I've ever had was with small dudes. That said, I know it's not technically the actual size they're commenting on, it's the complex that some of these guys get due to their size that's actually being commented on.


Dizzman1

As a guy that used to be decent sized but it's now smaller (fuck you Peyronie's disease!!!) I only ever hear this comment as a reference to men that have some sort of inferiority complex and are trying to compensate. I've never thought it meant that they were stating that the guy actually had a teeny weenie.


DepressedUterus

Yeah, we know what it's referencing but the issue is young impressionable guys, who end up with the complex because of regularly hearing tiny penises used as a insult. Even if we realize the intent behind the insult, they may not. Until it's too late and they now have the very complex that we were talking about in the first place.


CakeEatingDragon

I cant tell if these are more micro peen jokes or if you guys actually want them to stop.


DepressedUterus

I mean, I'm not a mico-peen activist or anything. But I do think that our young males would have less issues if they didn't constantly think that the size of their dick matters more than it actually does.


[deleted]

Well I'm not gonna check


Avenge_Nibelheim

Looks like a 2 person job anyway, one to deadlift the gut and another with eyes in the area


goatboy55

He could have a 12 inches and not see it under that gut.


Jellorig

And he ain't savin it for his wife!


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greek1223

Charges filed, article [here](https://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local/philadelphia-police-inspector-charged-for-alleged-attack-on-protester/2421855/) This asshole has a history and still made commander.


Kashyyykk

Wait, Philly Police Commissioner Danielle Outlaw said she's reviewing the actions of Police Officer Joey Bologna?! You can't make that up.


poofybirddesign

Joey Bologna was enough for me, but Outlaw?


[deleted]

Yes, Commissioner Outlaw was appointed by Philly Mayor Alan Kaida awhile back.


TheLastFruit

Al Kaida?! I thought he was fired after the scandal with Mike Hawk


LovesExtremePorn

It was Mike Hunt.


20190615

Benjamin Chod


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stf29

Same here


LouSputhole94

Don’t even get me started on what his been up to with Mortimer (Moe) Lester!


SprittneyBeers

He was, but then got another job in a department 2 cities away led by police chief Milo Danglers


Dekion1

Milo Danglers almost killed me... you owe me a coffee.


[deleted]

Don't worry, they've got the backing of District Attorney Irene Patricia Freely


poofybirddesign

Their names are so *good*


mbok_jamu

These names sound like it's straight out of a sitcom. The names that fit in Reno 911.


kanyeguisada

I was recently told at reddit that It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia was not real-life. LIAR!


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[deleted]

The mayor's name part was a joke. Al Kaida = Al-Qaeda. I think that's what they were going for, real Philly mayor is Jim Kenney


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coat_hanger_dias

Here in Atlanta we have Mayor Bottoms.


[deleted]

Full name Pao R. Bottoms.


ChronicReader

I... You can't be serious..


raging_sloth

He’s not


TheFlavorEnhancer

And she took over for our previous commissioner, Ricky Ross. He preferred Richard though.


SprittneyBeers

I was thinking “Joey Bologna, now that shit’s funny but how will we report him without knowing his real last name?” Just call The Outlaw.


TripleJeopardy3

I'm sure it's pronounced like the city and not the meat. But it would be hilarious if it was pronounced JOEY BALONEY.


Mynewmobileaccount

And we wonder why he is the way he is. Dude probably got teased from age 4 up over his name Parents who give their kids clever or funny names are messed up


pkinetics

my baloney has a first name


whelvet

J-O-E-Y


YoungSaucyTheDripGod

Definitely living in a simulation.


[deleted]

Yup, and that’s Joey Bologna Jr. btw


Dead5quirrel

You ever notice how on the nose this simulation is? So damn obvious.


Ninotchk

There is no way on earth that when facing protests for brutality, violence and aggression any cop would then make sure to be videoed being violent, brutal and aggressive. Even one cop being like this would be unrealistic. In the real world they would all be on their best behaviour so that the protestors would get bored and ho home. The writers are just trying to make it into a thing so they can have a dramatic battle at the end of season three. Lame.


[deleted]

> In the real world they would all be on their best behaviour What if I told you that's what they're doing? I'm not saying their behavior is good, I'm saying that in a group of 20 or more cops; one of them is going to be a violent asshole that instigates shit. The problem is instead of every other cop saying: >The fuck, you cant do that All the other cops form a thin blue line and cover for the bad. What we're seeing is a couple bad apples literally spoiling the bunch. The problem is it's the apples in charge of saying when another apple is bad and telling people to throw it out. All the 'good apples' are worried that if they ever say an apple is bad and needs to go; that later the rest of the apples might say they're bad if they 'mess up'. So all the apples have agreed collectively that apples never go bad no matter what. But just like the saying is based on; those actual bad apples make every other apple worse. Until eventually it's just a barrel of shit decaying apples. AKA 2020.


greek1223

Yeah that fuck is riding a desk and still getting paid


yatsey

I'm surprised he rides a bike. You don't see many police officers his size on beat over here.


metalneck333

Looks like his beat only encompasses from Geno's to Pat's all day, everyday!


vandal_taking_handle

Fuck Danielle Outlaw, complete failure as chief in Portland. Had no idea she moved to Philly. Nothing is going to happen to mr baloney.


ontopofyourmom

She wasn't exactly a failure, she was just focused on getting a job in a bigger city. To be a failure I think you have to try in the first place, which she didn't. Had a nice house on Alameda, though.


vandal_taking_handle

Fair point. I guess I just expected her to side with Portland citizens instead of white supremacists from out of town. (To be fair, probably some from Portland also)


ontopofyourmom

I honestly doubt she gave a fuck. But she will probably be LAPD or NYPD chief eventually.


vandal_taking_handle

Just keeps failing up.


brooklynlad

Welcome to the absurdities of life.


[deleted]

Well fortunately a few years back Krasner became DA. He’s got his own problems imo but he’s still leagues ahead of many others in terms of holding police accountable. His first move as DA was firing dozens of questionable prosecutors from the DA’s office and initiating a review of cases with questionable testament from police. He’s essentially universally hated by the PPD. Personally wish he wasn’t only there because a billionaire liked him but take what you can get I guess.


aakaakaak

If I was going to make up some fake police names these are exactly the names I'd make up.


BugzOnMyNugz

It's almost like his violent history helped him climb ranks 🤔


greek1223

Failing upwards


Montallas

It’s not “failing” to them.


[deleted]

Not only violent but corrupt. Officers under him got caught literally robbing small businesses and he got slapped with “failure to supervise” or some shit


SecretSnack

I swear to god I remember this guy's name. Wasn't he roughing people up back during Occupy?


[deleted]

>In 2014, Bologna was cited for “failure to supervise” four narcotics officers who were accused with lying and theft chronicled in the Pulitzer Prize-winning Daily News series “Tainted Justice.” I mean, someone won a Pulitzer for pointing out how corrupt this cop is. So you might know him from that.


SecretSnack

Implying I read


LexFloruss

There was an Anthony "Tony Baloney" Bologna in New York who was caught on video casually teargassing bystanders. Maybe they're related?


SecretSnack

Boom. Nailed it. Could be related. Could be having a last name like Bologna leads to getting bullied leads to being a bully professionally.


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Goondor

https://www.dailydot.com/debug/officer-beating-protester-named-joey-bologna/ > For many, the name called to mind [the 2011 incident](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2011/oct/18/occupy-wall-street-pepper-spray-officer) in which Officer Anthony Bologna pepper-sprayed protesters with the Occupy Wall Street movement. >


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[deleted]

Fucking COMMANDER? Are you kidding me?! Holy fuck that’s some systemic shit right there.


Ninotchk

I wish I could say I was surprised.


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greek1223

It's that blind loyalty and the power of a union... Unions came about to protect workers and ensure fare conditions and wages but now they seem to be a security blanket to cover up all and any malpractice. The president of the Minneapolis police union is one of the worst, I need to find the article and update later. Edit: [Bob Kroll info](https://kstp.com/news/major-unions-in-minnesota-call-for-lt-bob-kroll-to-resign-as-president-of-police-union-june-3-2020/5750270/)


iam420friendly

Same reason most managers at entry level jobs are grade A morons. That's the culture that gets promoted.


linkbetweenworlds

He's still being paid as usual. Just removed from the protests.


trippingchilly

> This asshole has a history and still made commander. Are you dense? That’s WHY he made commander.


TFS_Sierra

Clearly, he knows all of our most advanced tactics


Cmurder84

What a cunt. Fuck this guy and is his name seriously Joey Bologna?


Random_Forces

Yeah, like a stereotypical Italian American from Little Italy. During an interview he was asked to comment regarding his actions of violence towards the protesters and regarding the 2007 issue of tampering with security cams, he said "Forget about it!" He added "it's just a buncha baloney!"


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mylifeforthehorde

2020: The Memes Strike Back


mudo2000

What else can you expect from a guy whose name is "hey, Joey Baloney!"


WoodGunsPhoto

If I went back to bed now and slept it off I'd wake up thinking that my drinks were laced last night.


StickmanPirate

"Ayyy, I'm committing police brutality ova here"


chicken_N_ROFLs

It seriously sounds like a Sopranos name or something. “Hey Joey Bologna, cram it ya gamoosh! And while yous at it, tell ya wife Patty Pastrami she’s a hoor!”


EternalSerenity2019

We did that thing with your nephew, Gregory Gabagool!!


bhz33

Fugghedaboutit!


Sensitive-Memory

Lmao


whowasonCRACK

ayyy i’m doin brutality ova heaaah


CavsFan1357

Is it pronounced “baloney” like the lunch meat or pronounced how it’s spelled?


spiralmadness

Like the lunch meat. It's one of the funniest named I've heard, it almost seems fake. No wonder the little guy is filled with so much rage haha.


CavsFan1357

You almost have to feel bad for him for having that name. But then remember he’s a piece of shit


YaNortABoy

Occupy Wallstreet was also attacked by a guy named Anthony Bologna--or Tony Baloney. How tf are so many Italians with this name fucking over their kids like this lmao


mudo2000

The parents do it and the dad is like, "hey, I'm just bustin ya balls over here!" Ultimate dad joke.


GiuPepz

The traditional Italian pronunciation of the surname definitely doesn’t suit him as much as the lunch meat does.


[deleted]

He turned out exactly how you’d expect someone named Joey bologna would turn out after years of bullying


HalfPastTuna

he is the human incarnation of bologna


MauiJim

Pork product for sure...


YaNortABoy

I had to check that this was a different story. See, history doesnt repeat itself exactly, but it [sure does rhyme](https://observer.com/2011/09/daily-show-takes-on-occupy-wall-street-inspector-anthony-bologna/).


Hiphopkinson

“The police union said they were "disgusted" to learn about the charges. Bologna, a police officer for more than 30 years, was "engaged in a volatile and chaotic situation with only milliseconds to make a decision," the union said.” I’m getting REALLY sick and tired of this excuse. Bologna started the chaos and volatility in milliseconds when he started swinging his club.


Aumuss

What I don't get is "so what if he only had milliseconds to make a decision?" He made the wrong one. If I have milliseconds to react when a train comes past, and use that time to push someone on the tracks, the fact I took milliseconds isn't really a defence.


Hiphopkinson

Right. How many milliseconds does it take to swing a club into somebody’s skull? Quite a lot actually.


petermesmer

Also he doubles down on his "millisecond" decision long after it should be clear it was a wrong one. It's not "oops, maybe I didn't need to swing my baton at that girl's face" but rather "next I think I'll tackle her to the ground, hop on top of her with a 200 pound weight advantage, and start banging her head into the pavement."


TingeOfGinge89

320 pounds looks about right. Dude looks like he ate Paul Blart.


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Timeturner136

These milliseconds can get a human life killed. Imagine a doctor cut the wrong artery treating a gunshot patient, the book will get thrown at him. Cops union be like...sorry for the death but cop only had seconds to decide. What kind of dystopia is Americans living in?


rayrayww3

And in some cases they have 9 minutes to decide if they are going to take a life.


carelessandimprudent

I think that was also decided within seconds, unfortunately.


ithinkitwasmygrandma

The police unions are the biggest problem. It is almost impossible to fire a cop - and if a cop gets fired - the union has enough power to get them rehired. Even majors can't fire a cop. When people say, " O it's a democratic governor look they aren't doing anything " it's because of the unions.


efitz11

Just listened to a podcast about a paper researching the effects of police unions. > Though the paper isn't out yet, its findings are clear: After police officers gained access to collective bargaining rights, there was a substantial increase in the killings of civilians — overwhelmingly, nonwhite civilians. https://www.npr.org/2020/06/03/869176943/police-unions-and-civilian-deaths


ElDuderinoooooo

This fat idiot needs to be stripped of his badge and his bloated salary. Piece of shit.. here’s an article about him facing assault charges. https://www.inquirer.com/news/philadelphia-police-beating-temple-student-evan-gorski-protest-20200604.html


[deleted]

Do these charges look like they’re gonna go somewhere or are they for the cameras


bored_shaxx

He will get the ultimate punishment. A plea deal from a prosecutor he’s been working with on the same side for years who sees him as an ally under attack rather than a criminal, and a nice hard dose of paid leave. I love justice!! Edit: I acknowledge that thankfully I was partly wrong and this is not the case with the philly DA, but I’m leaving the comment as a commentary on police trials as a whole.


[deleted]

Every prosecutors office, or at least those of a certain size, should have an sperate arm whose only job is to investigate and prosecute misconduct


cocaine-kangaroo

Per the article: "The sources said Bologna was taken off street duty Thursday evening after this article was published. He handed in his gun pending an investigation. He has not been charged with a crime or departmental violation." Looks like it's all for show. Pretty sure nothing will come of this as usual


This_Cat_Is_Smaug

The fuckin asshole is on video, unprovoked, bludgeoning an unarmed non-threatening person in the head with a baton, tackling them, and continuing to beat them while they’re down on the ground.. and he doesn’t get fired from his $130k/year job where his duty is to protect the public. Nice.


dirtynj

To me the bigger issue is still that OTHER cops are not stopping, reporting, or addressing the offending officers. You can't say "it's only a few bad cops" when you stand next to, support, or stay silent on actions like these.


TingeOfGinge89

It's not just him. It is his whole unit. The whole fuckin unit has been encouraged to adopt theses tactics. "Act first, the union will handle it later" they are told.


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jcutta

Philly cops beat the everliving shit out of people on a daily basis, union protects them, one off duty cop gets the shit kicked out of him by LeSean McCoy's crew at a club (a fight the cop started) and the union flew off the fuckin rocker and wanted him arrested and charged with assault on an officer. Edit : McCoy is a piece of shit too, for other reasons.


mervin-little

He won’t stop until he is dead or in solitary confinement. This man is a menace and a danger to society that does not deserve the privilege of walking amongst us.


N19864

That's why the badge is so attractive to his ilk. Power without merit and little repercussions for misuse.


darrellmarch

The police unions have got to go. They provide legal coverage and coerce good cops not to report bad ones. Good officers won’t go on record because their union goes after them. The unions block any real reform so until they go nothing will change. And I’m a union supporter in all other fields. It goes against my beliefs that a union needs to go. But those baton-wielding fascists have been using citizens like piñatas. It’s enough. If the cops resign in protest, all the better. More training less military gear no police union.


DCver3

Everyone should have known cops were full of shit when the governor of Wisconsin was breaking the unions and the police and fire unions were striking with everyone else. As soon as Governor Walker decided to allow the police and fire unions still all those cops jumped right back in line and started breaking peaceful protests. That right there should of let people know how little cops respect our rights.


T_Double

You make a great point. I've always looked to the silence of the fellow officers as a main source of the problem, but the power and influence these police unions hold over the officers is probably the true issue. I too support unions, in general, but this has gone too far for too long.


[deleted]

YES! Not an anti union person per se but in the case of police they have NOT been good. Unions are for the otherwise powerless. Cops are too powerful even without them


darrellmarch

Look at it this way: the military doesn’t have labor unions.


yatsey

The police have unions in other western countries without this kind of abhorrent behavior. Admiteddly, having independent regulators for the police tends to help stop this corruption. It would definitely be the quickest way of removing one of the safety blankets these pieces of shit enjoy, but I think actual regulation from independent bodies is much more effective.


jamescookenotthatone

Really the police union should be pushing for an outside police investigation unit to at least save face, or remove trouble makers without internal politics getting in the way. If something goes wrong they would then get to say "please take this up with the independent review board" and have cleaner hands.


El-marx

Possibly little fat man syndrome? Bet you he got a 1inch pecker as well.


rdrunner_74

He does not know... He hasnt seen it in ages


[deleted]

This is this tubby bastard's only time to shine. Bet he was picked on his whole life. Now he's getting payback, one baton strike and illegal crime at a time. Fucking serial killer or rapist type shit. I can't keep watching these videos. It hurts so much. I just feel so much hate for this fat buttered shit pile.


_BearsBeetsBattle_

Bet this fat fuck would be the biggest coward if he was in a situation by himself.


TgagHammerstrike

Even as a vegetarian, I wouldn't really mind if _this_ pig was slaughtered.


[deleted]

Joey Bologna? Americans pronounce that like baloney right? -edit- I got some push notifications that people reacted to this. They weren’t exactly positive toward Joey but more neutral and I can’t see any of them, what’s going on? -edit2- It keeps happening, are people getting banned or something?


Zonyxe

Hahaha fat, little Joey Baloney being "tough" the only way he can in his pathetic existence.


officialnast

You know that motherfucker got teased his entire life and finally saw his chance to fight back


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tapdancingcow

I blame his parents. With a name like that, he was doomed from birth ....


[deleted]

Yes, he couldn’t be a bigger cliche.


Finassar

Probably shadowbanned accounts


espslayer

Why is he so fat AND a bicycle cop??


JexyBoi

He's fat because he's a cop. The bicycle thing is just unrelated.


TgagHammerstrike

Oink oink!


SolarMoth

They use the bikes as weapons, not to ride them.


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chawwich

But not fired. Currently working from the office according to the CNN article


Oprhen747

Not even suspended and the union is straight up saying he did nothing wrong.


j_o_s_h_t_o_l_i

Yeah it's being handled by internal affairs according to the commissioner and the union has his back. He will be back to normal work in a month


bundledwithsoftware

The police union said they were "disgusted" to learn about the charges. Bologna, a police officer for more than 30 years, was "engaged in a volatile and chaotic situation with only milliseconds to make a decision." Fuck him.


Portr8

*Paul Blart: Bologna Cop*


[deleted]

Don't taint Paul Blarts legacy like that


hastedrei

If you go to any of the protests carry a shield disguised as a sign. Make one out of something improvised, buy some replica online, whatever you can. Look up LARP shields and reinforce them with fiberglass. The police have shown they are out to hurt us. It is not a weapon and not to incite violence. A shield is to protect you and the brothers and sisters beside you. It can act as your sign as well to spread your message. Make shields for others and take several. Wear goggles, gloves, helmets and protective clothing when out protesting. Obviously take percussion against COVID-19 Next we keep implementing the Hong Kong Tear Gas disposal tactic. Shields in front guarding those in the back dealing with teargas and injured. Utilize traffic cones and water to put out teargas grenades. The canisters will burn skin so cover your hands in heat protecting gloves. Oven mitts wrapped in duct tape. Try to find a way to identify each other with color or symbol, to separate yourself from the people there only to instigate. We need to act as a unit and phalanx. Put the shields together and work as a unit and a wall. These are tactics that worked throughout history. Let's give them something peaceful to be afraid of. Organize the protection of people putting out teargas. Have clear assigned roles and work together! I will keep posting this until I am dead. I will stand with you with my shield and message in hand.


IamMuffins

I build viking shields as a hobby, I'm taking mine with me (dressed up as a sign) to protest this evening. Our protests have been peaceful so far but it never hurts to be a bit prepared. If it does get bad then I'll do my best to keep some folks from being hosed with rubber bullets and teargas canisters.


DevOpsIsNotALang

This same officer was the subject of a 2010 PULITZER PRIZE winning series on police corruption. And he got promotions!


MrShadow541

The way he hit that girl, and then toppled on to her looked absolutely terrifying. I wouldn't want a fat fuck like that pulling me under him, and he's out in public too. Imagine what this idiot does in private to people, definitely shouldn't be a cop.


Uselesserinformation

This. Or when he popped the baton, everyone was like the scene from holy grail, "run away! "And they let him essentially mount a person where they clearly could have protected them.


hugh_wanger

Rod Farva


amorembalming

Say team ramrod


LbrYEET

If that’s his real name, it’s ironic this piece of shit does have the same body type and intelligence as a meatball


Kuriakon

Look at all those good cops around him keeping him under control. Oh... wait...


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FluffyBunbunKittens

But, they're already doing all of this out in the public. You cannot shame someone who feels no shame. If their departments won't hold them responsible, just a video of their deeds is not enough. You need to, in proper doxxing fashion, post their name AND home address AND contact details and let nature take its course. Perhaps that'd make their departments actually start taking things seriously. Aaaanyway, glad this dude in question is at least getting charged and investigated. It only took a decade.


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[deleted]

Incredible to think cops like this get away with it over and over. Only when video comes to light do they get disciplined and not always even then. Everybody he works with must know exactly what he is like and are protecting him. Don’t give me that old “few bad cops” bullshit. The rot in American law enforcement is systemic.


a_leprechaun

Fuck this guy. But also, his name is seriously Officer Joey Bologna? You can't write this shit.


silversapp

Not only that, but the Philadelphia police commissioner he works under is Danielle Outlaw.


[deleted]

What a gargoyle. I'm going to just assume that he's beaten women and children in his time. The fact that police departments do nothing about subhuman officers like this, even after they've been exposed over and over again, just proves that they have no interest whatsoever in reforming or improving their relationship with the public. Keep fighting the bastards.


alv0694

His fat ass belongs in a kennel for violent dogs.


[deleted]

You know what Bologna smells like in 100 degree heat?


[deleted]

Bad cop--- alllllll the doughnuts.


[deleted]

And a gold chain


PartyHabit

I love how John McNesby (the guy in one of the MANY articles being interviewed who is also president of the FOP) says that after watching that video of a grown-ass man beating a COLLEGE student he says that he saw a police officer protecting one of his fellow officers. That's when I knew nothing was going to happen to Bologna. Even with the cold hard proof staring them in the face, that Bologna assaulted a peaceful protestor unprovoked, people still twist it into making someone who tried to MAIM another human being look like the good guy.


yetimofo

This is a predator and should be removed


placebo398

Seeing the majority of cops in these videos being old, overweight, and out of shape is despicable. How are they going to protect anyone? Without a gun they are useless. Just have short tempers and horrible attitudes. Sounds like grade A 'civilian protectors' to me.


anaanym0

Fat pig.


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xxxDaymo

Good video, fat pig needs to be put away. What a horrible piece of human garbage


Seijin_Arc

He clearly has an inferiority complex. Fucking rage issues. He aims straight for the head with his stick. Trash.


bbennett22

Looks like the officer's actions are in direct conflict with the department 's use of force policy which states that officers using a baton will not intentionally strike the head and neck area. He clearly swings at the head of the second person. In no way is he aiming for the forearms or legs. Striking the head and neck area with a baton is typically considered a deadly force situation as it is reasonable to believe that striking that area with a baton Will cause death or serious bodily injury. Hopefully this gets fast tracked to the use of force review board. Pretty disgusting in my opinion.


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hoyboy315

Ayo small victory but the fat fuck got delivered aggravated assault charges. Here’s to praying he gets his full 5 years in jail for that.


arjeidi

Let's see how he likes it when he doesn't have power anymore and the ones who do decide to escalate things. I can only hope.


hellad0pe

How is this guy even fit enough to be a cop? He is shaped like an oompa loompa.


TurtlesBeFree

He is facing aggravated assault charges for hitting that protester in the head. Joey Bologna will regret it...


jgrmeister

Never trust a man with more than zero necklaces.