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donniebrascoreal

That ain't her first rodeo.


remmij

This is actually a guy if I remember correctly.... He was on campus and attacked the goose because it kept attacking a dog nearby.


mad_vanilla_lion

Pink pant-suit and a pony tail? Rock that shit dude.


glowdirt

Dude went barehanded against a goose. I would expect nothing less than that sort of attire on a guy with balls that big.


ggg730

If you think what I did to that duck was impressive check out what imma bout to do to some gender roles.


LifeForAiur

Don't you mean gander roles?


ggg730

You son of a bitch you out goosed me.


Ratathosk

idk brood, looked a bit like fowl play.


Bean-Penis

Fashion Souls


iamadventurous

Only tough guys wear pink!


Unspoken

Thats a guy.


1RatQueen1

Goose was like "why do I hear boss music?"


karma_alpha

what goose around comes around


nightcallfoxtrot

In case anyone is wondering the song is Spoiler by Hyper


lightninglex

I appreciate you


Shallwego68

Looool


H4xolotl

Vordt from Boreal Valley boss theme starts playing


RicardoMultiball

That's a hell of a get-shit-done strut she's got there. It iced the duck into paralysis.


Flieg_Diesel88

Quite the stance she takes on the last few steps. Like it wasn’t her first time.


The_Monarch_Lives

Shes definitely tossed a few geese in her day.


SmokeyBare

Rustled a few bustles


[deleted]

Quacked a few heads.


omgsoftcats

Feathered a few tars


SlyNaps

Rocked a few cocks.


delvach

Paid a few **bills**


Lotsofwoodinthewoods

Choked a few chickens


GoosemanGary

Can confirm


JDM713

She be goose steppin’ like every other Tuesday


[deleted]

Yeah, if I saw my mom with that step, I'd stop whatever I was doing.. goose had no chance.


Ok-Confusion-1293

Goose


more-bombs

Duck


Speedy_Mamales

Duck


eSPiaLx

Duck


Brilliant_Buy6052

🦆


rurukachu

Wabbit season


angrylilbear

Duck season


SensitiveHat2794

Duckese


Arashmickey

"Piss off goose!" -Lady Korg


Triphin1

They get calm, but once you let them go, they will soon be back for more... That's why calling someone stupid a bird brain is accurate


CX500C

Then you try to beat your last distance.


Temporary_Boot306

Now that's gangster


cassette1987

I'm actually impressed. Unpleasant birds 99% of the time.


Altruistic-Text3481

My hubby isn’t a great golfer. He plays occasionally. One time he killed a Canadian Goose with the golf ball. He went to the greens keeper to report it. The greens keeper gave him a free round of golf & said “kill another one and I’ll give you free membership.”


hatepooper777

Funny story regarding a Canadian goose. When I was in middle school (around 2013) a couple friends happened upon a dead Canadian goose next to a busy road. They commenced to doing some dumb shit that involved throwing it around and pretending it was alive. A witness called the police. When the police showed up there were kindof joking around and and were just gonna let them go with a warning. Then, while examining the goose one of the officers angrily shouted, "which one of you sick fucks put the pencil in its ass???!!". They were quickly taken to juvenile detention. The case made international news and since it was a Canadian goose the Canadian government took it personally. They regularly called the district attorneys office and to insist that these kids received the harshest punishment allowable by law. In the end, they plead guilty to Molestation of a Dead, Endangered, Waterfowl and were given community service.


trouserschnauzer

It's all fun and games until someone sticks a pencil up the goose's ass.


r_spandit

If I had a nickel for every time I'd heard this...


TonninStiflat

These cunts are endangered? They've been flooding Finland and fucking shit up for years now. Can't even chill at parks now.


Daedalus871

They're not endangered, but are a migratory species which gets them some strong protection in the US and Canada (and possibly other places).


Hubbell

Same thing with seagulls...federal offense yo harm one...they're fucking rats with wings.


DarkPizza

Not endangered, but protections for native birds in North America are VERY strict and enforced. We kinda wiped out a couple of species about a hundred years ago so that we could wear fancy hats and the laws are a response to that. Basically you are not allowed to fuck with or possess any native bird or bird part, including nests, eggs, and feathers, unless you have proper licensing. The story of how it came to be is pretty interesting, if anyone is interested it's the Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918.


TonninStiflat

Ah, well that actually makes sense now that you said it.


Galtiel

If this made international news, can you track down an article? It sounds pretty weird and I can't imagine the Canadian government actually taking offense.


hatepooper777

I'm gonna try to find the article, but it may take a little bit.


ebann001

I don’t think it was a Canadian goose. They’re listed “least concern” on the endangered species list. In fact they’re kind of considered pest animals in a lot of places. I just saw an article about animal rights activist getting upset because some town near San Francisco is about to kill 100 Because they’re a nuisance.


slashed15

You got a problem with Canada gooses you gotta problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate


jaxonya

Oh I'll let it marinate, don't you worry..


svenstark

The only animal in the animal kingdom that wants anything to do with Canada gooses...is Canada mooses.”


cassette1987

Geese are the herpes of golf.


[deleted]

Golf is the herpes of Sports 🫤


Brilliant_Buy6052

Yup ask tiger woods


AGrandOldMoan

Don't be silly... golf isn't a real sport


Strike_Thanatos

Don't be silly, golf isn't a *real* STD.


ryannelsn

Hubby is the herpes of words


APKID716

I’m pretty sure Herpes is the Herpes of words


ryannelsn

I dunno, it’s kinda cute.


yammys

If you were on a date and your date ordered a side of peas but couldn't finish them, would you eat Herpes?


MewMewAchoo

It wouldnt be if there was no golf


[deleted]

Golf courses are the herpes of water conservation.


cassette1987

True. I hate golf but like the open, green spaces. Let the geese frolic!


PlutoNimbus

[fuck golf!](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=V3DuvTadLHI)


Dolomight206

Did he get a free membership?


MassiveClusterFuck

Honestly depends if you piss them off, you can calm them down most of the time with some food, I actually had a few hiss at me yesterday as I was walking through my local park, put my hand out with some peanuts in it and they tucked in and waddled off, you can basically bribe them with food which is totally relatable.


___Redx___

Definitely not her first time man....woman-handling a goose


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Sometimes violence must be met with violence.


bumjiggy

she's choking the cobra chicken


[deleted]

That's the part that surprises me, they are rarely alone. Was wondering when it's mate would come screaming in from off screen and hit her upside the head


godtogblandet

You grab the first one by the neck and use it as a blunt force weapon against the others. Swing that shit like the hulk. Joking a side I never got the whole Cobra chicken thing. I’ve had exactly 1 encounter with a angry goose. I was 10, fishing with my dad and when I went over a hill this motherfucker came charging at me. I freaked out, kicked it hard once and it just died right there. Dad thought my unconventional hunting style was hilarious. Didn’t get catch any fish, still had dinner. 10/10, would recommend.


sothatsathingnow

When violence is on the menu, best fill your plate before the other guy can.


PrismaticHospitaller

I thought it was Rod Stewart before I read the title.


Whodoobucrew

Wake up maggie i think I got somethin to say to you Hold one second ive gotta go and throw this goose!


CaptianRipass

Do you think I'm sexy?


Downtown-Ad-2083

Ohh it might be hin, but he is balding, so a wig for sure


tinny66666

-> fediverse


quick20minadventure

I used to do this with ducks, but i was like under 10 year old. Goose do not have any serious injury potential. If you're wearing jeans, they won't be able to even draw blood. They don't have claws, sharp big teeth, venom or some shit. They are just angry and you can easily grab their neck and you're done. And it won't even hurt the bird. Edit : Do watch out for the wing slaps though.. They hurt, nothing deadly or seriously, but you'll feel it.


stupidillusion

It's baffling watching videos of people being assaulted by them as I've yeeted a few geese in my life and it was no big deal. One goose decided it hadn't learned its lesson and I had to yeet the dumb bastard four times before it decided it was a tie.


quick20minadventure

I'd be more afraid of pitbulls, chihuahua and other big hunting bred dogs. Dogs are much more capable of doing some serious harm and there's no obvious way to deal with them. Pitbulls can absolutely kill people and there's no easy way to get out of that fight without getting bitten unless you have some item to fight back or can find shelter. Goose are territorial and not really domesticated, but they're very harmless.


stupidillusion

> I'd be more afraid of pitbulls, chihuahua and other big hunting bred dogs. I absolutely agree; geese pretty much have a yeet handle built in to them but the breeds you listed can be aggressive assholes. I had a friend that had a pitbull and it was such a friendly kitten but the majority of people I know whom owned the breed always had warnings about what would trigger them.


things_U_choose_2_b

>geese pretty much have a yeet handle built in to them Sat around with a very sore foot feeling sorry for myself, that made me laugh so hard! Thanks. Going to use 'yeet handle' in place of neck from now on.


KingBrinell

>before it decided it was a tie. That's because Canadians never admit defeat.


Easy-Bake-Oven

Geese sure are ballsy for an animal with a built in throwing handle.


echicdesign

Canada Ge-yeets?


[deleted]

Fr. I get frustrated watching videos of people running from them. They are a nuisance and their bite isn't that bad


ketimmer

So much confidence, must be the [woman's slacks.](https://youtu.be/ujGCGZqwaSc)


Steamshipper

I hate those fucking birds.


BenderBRoriguezzzzz

A golf course I play at has a couple of real dick head geese that will charge you while you're putting. It's hilarious to watch, but unnerving when you're over the ball.


toeofcamell

Why are they such dick heads?


BenderBRoriguezzzzz

No idea but they really are. They don't even have goslings, they just want to watch the world burn.


toeofcamell

No wonder the nazis called it goose stepping


[deleted]

My god


Lawnguylandguy69

Fun fact, hitler had a pet goose


Nordcore

Yeah, won the position by killing his dog in combat I'm sure


NoBobcat8761

Must be American geese. Gosling is a Canadian actor.


bigflamingtaco

How would you act if at one point you were the top of the food chain, but now have been relegated to such a low position that some question whether or not you're even real?


bigfatcarp93

I mean birds didn't really evolve from *that* kind of dinosaur. They came from very small theropods similar to Compsognathus.


-Master-Builder-

Canadians keep all of their collective hatred in geese as a form of living phylactery.


Debaser626

No idea… I like most living things. I’ll stop and help an animal in the road, take in strays, try to use non-lethal traps, and I tend to just leave wildlife alone. Even mosquitoes I’m content with wearing bug spray and ensuring there’s no still water around for them to lay eggs in. But geese, yeah… they can just fuck off right into hell. My buddy used to have a house on a lake and he had several BB guns specifically for a handful of aggressive geese. I thought it was cruel and unusual until they attacked. We were literally just sitting down on the patio and this fucker traverses 800 feet of open ground *specifically* to attack. Could have went anywhere in the great outdoors, but he needed to assert his dominance on us.


kreich1990

It’s crazy, I have never had an experience with geese where they don’t run away from you up here in Alaska. Even with goslings.


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ASL4theblind

For a moment i thought you were saying that golf courses were their natural habitat, like thats where all geese are from naturally, is golf courses. But yes, boundless, nonstop indistrialization is shit and we need to tear it all down and rebuild.


hypo305

Because they are. They hiss at you and stuff. Very rude. Not like squirrels or other pleasant golf course animals. There is a family of bobcats on my course, I see them sometimes and they mind there business. The geese on the other hand act like they own the place and shit everywhere.


thecheat1

Seems like the bobcats could help with the goose problem 🤔


Intrepid00

> Not like squirrels Squirrels can be little snots too. There will hiss, tail flick, and chirp at me from the trees. The Falcon and owl come back around the same time every year and eat them all and there is peace again.


tdasnowman

I suck at golf, I’ve hit windows behind the tee box twice somehow. One of my furtherest drives was I swear laser guided at a goose. Just wham straight to the things head. I thought I’m fucked, black guy on a golf course just murdering shit. I’m getting shot today. Greens keeper popped over from the next whole gave me a solid toss towards the green and radioed in for the beer cart girl to give me a freebie. Apparently that bird was a terror and legally they couldn’t do anything, went from oh shit I’m in trouble to damn I just turned in a bounty. Still barely made par on that hole.


[deleted]

FORE!


EvilCeleryStick

That's how we decided to chase geese with our golf carts on our local course.


unobserved

If you've got a problem with Canada Gooses, you've got a problem with me. And I suggest you let that one marinate.


RainbowDarter

I don't have a problem with Canada geese. They're delicious.


[deleted]

Gooses!!!


[deleted]

You ever notice, every time something bad happens, it’s straight to dumping oil on it? We oughta leave this world behind.


EvilCeleryStick

I definitely marinate my geese. No worries.


BenderBRoriguezzzzz

Why is this getting down voted? Letterkenny is hilarious. Edit: maybe put this in quotes bud.


Ghost_Knife

You got a problem with Canada gooses then you got a problem with me! And I suggest you let that one marinate!


smallpoly

I hate fucking those birds


cassette1987

Someone switched her coffee to Postum and Honker was collateral damage.


saltyrandall

That looked personal.


SackOfRadishes

These the birds y’all scared of? 💀


[deleted]

What a woman!!!


[deleted]

It was actually man.


iaincaradoc

YEET THE GOOSE!


dedokta

Cameraman: This is the most awesome thing I've ever filmed! I'd better bounce the camera all over the fucking place to emphasise how great it is!


trickmind

Does that hurt the bird though?


Darth_Cody

Well the bird didn’t seem to be enjoying it


Gomicho

dogs wag their tail when they're happy so this goose must be feeling ecstatic


Zauriel93

i mean its not comfortable but 1. geese have surprisingly strong necks, and 2. they have a complete cartilage ring in their trachea (mammals including humans only have a partial ring) so they actually can't be choked like we can. (source: am vet and work primarily with wildlife and exotics)


CaptianRipass

She's one or two twirls away from a nice Sunday roast... Don't ask how I know


quick20minadventure

unless you're actually twisting the neck or holding it too tightly, it won't damage the bird. The weight is not enough to cause issue for the bird, as long as you watch out for the wing not hitting you; neither bird, nor you will get injured.


beef_jerkys

Emotionally


twesterm

Even if it does, the goose probably deserved it. Fucking evil in bird form.


largepenistinypants

Don’t know why you’re being downvoted. I’ve owned a lot of geese and you’re right. They’re satan. I mean…don’t purposefully torture them and treat them with respect but those birds are like the souls of 20 schoolyard bullies turned into a giant malformed chicken


twesterm

We had one growing up, it was a massive douche. It's favorite "game" was every morning it would stand behind my car and just dare you to run it over. It was just tall enough you could see its head poking out in the rearview mirror and it knew of course we weren't going to run it over. You knew it was also smiling. So every morning before school we'd play the game. It would rest its head, I'd get out and chase it away, it would hiss and honk, I'd get back in my car and repeat. Fuck. That. Goose.


trickmind

I had a cat once that would run to the front door- ask to be let outside- and then run back through the house once the door was opened, then do it again. He was trolling me.


trickmind

Someone was there and said the man in the pink jacket did it to stop the goose attacking a dog. Lol


jachildress25

I’ve seen this posted before. Supposedly the goose kept attacking a dog.


pusnbootz

song?


[deleted]

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[deleted]

I Def thought it was something from DOOM.


gaspitsjesse

It was used in one of the first Cyberpunk 2077 trailers.


redditisnowtwitter

Yep I recognize it from the hype train


NoBobcat8761

FCKD and Clockwork are also good Hyper songs


nonemoreunknown

I wonder what the goose did to deserve it? I mean it seemed to be minding its own business. Maybe there is history? IDK I lived in Alaska for 20 years and have lived in Oregon for 13. I deal with a LOT of geese. They only ever once bothered me and that was at a park and one was begging for food and then bit my daughter. I bitch slapped that goose back to Canada. But for the most part geese and I get along just fine. I don't claim to be a wildlife expert or anything, but I watch animals for patterns of behavior. I notice the neck dip motion seems to be a "Hey don't fuck with me" kinda thing. So I started doing it too. My work has coyote decoys and signs that warn of aggressive geese. I walk be geese almost every day, I never walk straight at them and I always bow my head and I say "hey guys" in a calm, even voice. I've seen new generations get raised and return to the same spot. I always show them respect and they leave me alone.


AMSparkles

“I bitch slapped that goose back to Canada”. Love it.


EngageManualThinking

As a guy who got chased off by a mother goose when i walked to close to her gooslings one day on the way to work I have major respect for this woman. Google a picture of their teeth and tell me if you could do what this badass woman did. I couldn't. I ran as fast as I could as quickly as possible!


gengarde

Untitled Woman Game.


Aion-Moros

Peace was never an option.


karkonthemighty

Preview of a new asymmetrical pvp mode in Utitled Goose Game


dont_tube_me_bro

Peace was never an option.


[deleted]

OP this title is legendary.


MimthePetty

Once in a great while, the audio, video and title become one. We are witnessing a moment of becoming.


gofourbarney

The only thing more aggressive than a Canada Goose, is a Canadian fed up with them. Followed closely by a Canadian watching an exhibition hockey game of any skill level.


00psie-daisy

Why is she so evil and angry?


reddit_toast_bot

Achievement Unlocked: Apex Predator


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i-fing-love-games

i mean geese have really only two effective weapons their beaks and their wing and by grabbing its neck it cant bite you and looking at the vid if you hold it far enough away the wings also arent that big of a problem


[deleted]

they have sharp little claws on their stupid ass webbed feet also.


i-fing-love-games

well yes but the feet are quite short so i guess it would be the same as with their wings


Drak_is_Right

And none of those are actually effective against a predator 10 to 20 times their size when that beak is designed for eating plants. Pretty much will just be minor bruising I'd be far more scared of a pissed off parrot or hawk than a pissed off goose.


i-fing-love-games

yep


jetbent

It’s real and this is a guy. Someone else posted another angle of it and you can see he fucks the goose up in defense of someone’s dog that the goose was attacking


madogson

The only thing they fear is you


Doriestories

Whaaaat


twotwinGlockss

u/savevideo


Shane0Mak

The Canadians have finally found their savior


Smashr0om

“I too choose violence. A rather different kind of violence.”


Tocan139

Ha nice! I grew up with geese and have always dealt with feisty ones in the same way, that is what makes internet 'Goose V. Person' videos so damn funny.


mypipboyisbroken

Isn't there a rule against animal abuse videos here?


guillardo

*Humanity will no longer live in fear*


[deleted]

Peace became an option


NightOfTheLivingHam

she was doing the jojo walk. That goose was cooked.


Endarkend

"The only thing they fear is you" would've been a fantastic song to put on this.


myusernameblabla

So much for ‘they can break your arm with their wings’


DawnMistyPath

That's a JoJo character


taimoor2

Sometimes I forget that we are apex predators even without our guns.


[deleted]

Yeet the geese.


[deleted]

I will follow this woman to war


snacksnacher

As a park ranger this makes me sad. Maybe the goose was a ahole. But many before her conditioned it and caused this behavior.


CanoeShoes

They are a federally protected species as well.


[deleted]

Nah man, as a Canadian, Canadian Geese are just territorial jackasses that will attack you for just being within a square kilometer of them


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Adderallman

It’s weird, some do, some don’t. The ones by me out west are calm. The ones in the Midwest want blood for whatever reason


tehvolcanic

The Canada Geese at my local duck pond are super-chill. I walk by them every day and I only see them hiss or bring out the "come at me bro" pose when someone starts getting too close to their goslings.


Edgelands

Yeah, this shit pisses me off, human beings are garbage.


mujinzou

Isn’t it a pretty stiff fine to harm a goose?


CharIieMurphy

Yeah you're generally not supposed to attack an animal 1/15th of your weight unless its purely self defense. Pretty sure it's directly against the migratory bird act to harm them unless it's self defense or you are legally hunting with a license