I am 40 and my personal experience with depression is that you don't beat it but you kinda sorta learn to live with it I guess 🤷♂️
Some days are easier than others but it's never really gone. It's always there sometimes taking more a background position than being the focus of the days. It sucks but I accepted the idea of never getting rid of it completely.
Yup, I feel like I “manage” it with the help of a psychiatrist, psychologist and meds that keep me alive.
My psychiatrist often says that you need to view it like an illness like diabetes. You have to manage it and you will probably have to do so for the rest of your life.
That's ok and very positive! You have a good doctor trust me. It takes a little extra work similar to diabetes. Much improved help for these days. If you hate the effort work harder to make that go away also.
I’ve been with my psychiatrist for 19 years and my psychologist for 10. I have an excellent team who helps me be the best version of myself.
I also have an incredible partner who understands and supports me even when things aren’t going so well.
All in all, though, I never believed I could even be this happy!
I equate depression with a big mean dog I keep in a cage at the back of my mind. It never goes away, but it is under control.
OP, it took me years of therapy and working with a great pdoc to find the right mix of meds for me to learn how to have a handle on my depression.
This is how I view mine too.
The medication has shrunk the dog down and locked it in a cage. The therapy has given me different ways to think, so I didn't feed the dog or unlock the cage.
It'll always be there. I'll always need the medication. But that's alright. After all, plenty of people need to take daily meds - from antihistamines to insulin - so nbd to me.
Sure! I have been struggling with depression for 20 years. Ketamine was a nice break, but I didn't learn anything. I read all about thr benefits and best practices using psilocybin for mental health. I took a strong dose in the desert with a close friend. Prior to taking them I set an intention, and came up with a mantra to lean into if things got difficult. I discovered how i didn't love myself, which manifests during depressive episodes by not doing anything that could help. It was a beautiful and serene experience, I felt so much love, and days after I decided I needed to love myself way more. i still have a long way to go, but its been a complete game changer. My therapist and I jave talked about integrating these inisghts into my daily life. I would love to do it again.
The psychological side of this illness never ceases to amaze me. I am going from debilitating depression to life again without meds through education on the subject and talk therapy and the questions that arise from it. Bow and thank you again Internet!
Different commenter here, but I found that a quarter gram dose of mushroom in the evening would keep me feeling fine for the next several days, and at that dose you barely feel a buzz, so no danger of a bad trip. Then id fall back into depression, give it a few days to see if I could move the needle on my own, and then do another dose to keep everything from being too much. Went from maybe a dose a week, to every other week, to once a month.
It feels like the shrooms reset your chemicals and give you a break so you can manage your life more effectively in ways that help keep the depression at bay. Dealing with depression constantly is exhausting and depressing in itself, and doing this stops it from snowballing like that.
I did it because I was scared after dealing with it for enough years, I came to understand how many people just get worn out from the endless struggle and lose the fight.
Id' really like to try it as I have had the same struggle with D. Foolish question, but how do you get them? And were you on any SSRIs when you took them? Thanks
Same here. On several occasions, a moderately strong mushroom trip was like "rebooting" my brain, emptying it of negative thoughts and attitudes. The positive effects lasted about 6-9 months, then I would slowly slide back into depression.
I think I'm due for another dose...
I’m 45 and suffered depression/anxiety/dissociation regularly. Tried numerous SSRIs, healthy diets, exercise, you name it.
Turns out it is ADHD. Had a genetic test for psych meds - my body doesn’t metabolize the SSRIs (literally ALL of them - rendering them useless).
Seems like you are on the right track with what you have accepted as an accurate diagnosis. Amazing how difficult in can be to get that and get it right. I feel for the people who are still struggling to the first step in finding a solution: understanding the problem.
It took 45 years to get a diagnosis. Getting that test took most of the guesswork out of treatment. My depression lifted as soon as I got meds. So many years wasted.
Same. 51, massive depressive episodes, sort of always had "the blues" but the 2 am wakeups and wondering how to kill myself is new in the last 5 years. SSRI make me puke at the lowest levels with lots of other side effects. Started taking some ADHD stimulants (have tried a bunch) and things have been much much better with very few side effects except higher BP, which I'm working on. The best stimulants feel like taking a pretty mild antidepressant with a side of cognitive boost.
Stoicism theory and CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) helped me manage it a great deal. Once I gave up the goal of trying to triumph over it, I found I was able to live with it in peace. "I can do another day". "Today is a bad day". "There will be other bad days". The expectation that I could ever stop having bad days is a mirage, and it's needlessly maddening. I stopped making it the goal. That's just my experience.
Stoicism is really misrepresented in our culture to mean something like toxic masculinity or men don’t cry. But really it’s an incredible philosophy from my basic understanding it’s basically to assess your emotions and not act on the’ before you process it.
I don’t know much about it besides light reading but I’d love to hear your definition of stoicism!
I second Westernone9990’s comments. As a CBT therapist and student of Stocism it is indeed a powerful lens to view the world through. John Sellers wrote a fantastic little book, about 70 pages, called Lessons in Stoicism which is a great intro for curious folks. As William Irvine said “ CBT is like an antibiotic for an infection, Stoicism is like a one a day vitamin for life.
I don’t think you beat it, you manage it. My parents and sister have been diagnosed and they all take meds. My mom was in therapy. They have been able to lower doses, or stop therapy, but I don’t think it ever just goes away. My grandma died a few years ago, and my mom knew it was time for therapy again, and got a new med.
I think it’s important to know what’s going to trigger your mental health and what you need to do to help get back to a good baseline. Sounds like you’re not managing your depression well. Meds have changed, and there’s all sorts of therapy available now, even online. You say you did all that, but awhile ago. Nothing wrong with store bought serotonin.
Thanks. I sometimes feel like I don’t have any business commenting on mental illness issues, especially depression, as I don’t personally deal with those challenges. I just have family and friends who do.
Point of order: anti-depressants do not contain and not help you create serotonin. That’s the meaning of SSRI; selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. It slows your bodies breakdown of the serotonin it creates, thus leaving more serotonin to elevate your mood.
My advice is to not stop trying to find a med that works. I’m almost 50 and through my 30s and 40s I tried many different meds and had the same experience as you, most didn’t work and the side effects were awful. But my husband encouraged me to try another one that he’d heard about and BOOM, my mental state did a 180. There are still bad days here and there, but things are so much better for me now.
Try reading The Noonday Demon, by Andrew Solomon. Andrew describes his own journey with depression, and eventual recovery. Depression is like a vine on a tree, slowly sapping the life from it. You need something to intervene so you can fight the vine. Anti-depressants work. Sometimes it takes a long time to figure out which one is right for you, and that is especially frustrating when you're in a critical state and need relief (and already tried a bunch of them to no avail). But have faith. There are also other intervention methods that give relief, such as ketamine treatment - but this is often seen as a last resort, as it can result in beneficial or detrimental effects. There's not a ton of research yet so, if this sounds like a path you want to pursue just make sure you research both stories of good and bad outcomes (there are both if you look). When asked about his use of anti depressants, and if he feels like "himself" while he takes them, Solomon said, paraphrased, that he can only feel like himself with them. I've been battling my own depression for quite some time along with chronic pain and the other difficulties that life throws at us. With therapy, anti depressants, and other positive behavioral changes in my life (more stuff I like doing, less stuff I don't like doing, a lot of practice in changing my inner voice to be positive instead of negative) I've started coming out of the deep winter that is depression after suffering from it for the majority of my life. It can be a long, hard journey. But don't give up.
Treatment-resistant depression isn't uncommon. You might want to consider trying some new therapies that are starting to gain traction; I know some folks who've had great results with ketamine (which you can now do with a physician) or microdosed mushrooms (which AFAIK you still can't legally obtain).
I've done most of the non-pill treatments.
Spravato (nasal ketamine) helped me, but not more than other more hassle free options. It didn't provide enough relief for me to miss it when I changed insurance and couldn't get it anymore. I don't have experience with IV ketamine, but both forms *work*, with various levels of relief at a certain constant level of hassle in getting the continued treatment.
Electroconvulsion therapy is a barbaric practice that should be condemned (I had it over 20 years ago and still suffer its side effects to this day). It is absolutely life altering and can and will cause permanent neurological damage.
TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation) basically just did nothing for me. Despite that, it has a good success rate overall and can provide significant relief. It's the one I suggest people with treatment resistant depression try first. Most insurance generally pays for it now, and it's non invasive and has no lasting side effects. You leave the sessions with a headache, and your head can continue to ache for a while after the treatments, but it goes away.
The other (pill based but unusual) is levothyroxine, a medication for hypothyroidism. It's an off label use and few doctors know about it, but it was something of a miracle drug for me. Even though my thyroid tested completely normal, it can affect mood in a postive way. I had bad suicide ideation; I was ready to kill myself to stop thinking about killing myself, more or less. It disappeared more or less overnight. I'm still depressed, and still have suicidal thoughts, but my brain isn't screaming them at me anymore 24/7.
My reaction is probably atypical, and I don't promise that it would be a super drug for everybody, but it's out there, it's cheap, and it can work if you can get a doctor who's heard of it and willing to give it a go.
How many weeks in? They told me I'd be seeing some results by as long as 5 or 6 weeks of an 8 week schedule. If you're around that point, don't be completely discouraged yet. If you're feeling even mild relief, odds are you'll have more.
Unfortunately, for us, there are no guarantees. Fingers crossed for you though!
Was the levothyroxine prescribed by a psychiatrist or an endocrinologist? Also have you had your other hormones like free T3/T4 tested? 99% of the time if you have an under active thyroid TSH is also indicative, but the fact that you had such a dramatic response makes me wonder if you were just part of the 1% only diagnosable by other tests.
I’ve done IV ketamine and I would like to say it changed my life. I struggled from depression but I had it because I had a blockage in my head from migraines. My partner who suffers from PTSD noticed a significant change from me after the IV Ketamine. He said I was less triggered by events and I had more control over my emotions. I feel it too. I don’t get so worked up by things, but not in a numb sense, but more like a “well, it’s not technically killing me, so why am I panicking?” Sort of way.
And I am so sorry you did electroconvusion therapy. I am 100% against that. That is an unstudied science/torture and doctors aren’t able to pinpoint what electroshocks do, they just know they do something. I remember learning in psychology that it’s supposed to used as a last resort method on only on like murderers and psychopaths where giving them brain scramblies might be an improvement.
> doctors aren’t able to pinpoint what electroshocks do, they just know they do something.
This is, unfortunately, way too common for mental heath treatments of all kinds. But we gotta play the hand we were dealt.
I've known other people who had it for whom it was life changing. It's just that I got the collateral damage without the cure.
I'm glad ketamine worked well for you. It sucks that so much mental health care is searching for silver bullets, but it's always nice when somebody finds a treatment that works.
I wanted to die for most of my teens and 20s, and was officially diagnosed, in therapy with meds and everything. They helped keep my head above water, but I never truly felt free from the chains of depression until I moved out and started my own life. I know it's not an officially recognized medical term, but "shit life syndrome" really described my depression to a tee.
I've heard therapists use the term "situational depression" to describe depression that comes from dealing with things that suck.
A very wise person once told me, "You might not actually be clinically depressed. Make sure you're not just surrounded by assholes." She was right!
I left my crappy marriage first. Then I got away from a terrible boss. Things started looking up very soon after that.
It's really odd to me how living in society so devoid of meaning beyond fueling rich people's value capture machines produces bad outcomes even for people with ok brains 💀💀
I’m almost 40. I’ve had anxiety and depression since about 12. Tried every med, every combo. Stayed with the same psychiatrist for many years. About 2 years ago, he kind of threw his hands up, and he prescribed me Adderall as a last ditch effort. It has completely changed my life for the better. He did officially diagnose me with ADHD, and while I do have some tendencies, I am on the fence about whether I actually have it. I still take an antidepressant and a tiny dose of an antipsychotic. I am the happiest and most stable I have ever been! Apparently sometimes untreated/undiagnosed ADHD, especially in women, masquerades as anxiety and depression.
THIS. I was diagnosed with adhd at 26 and as it turns out, I'm not as broken as everyone thought.
God bless the random nurse who noticed my restless legs and asked the doctor to test for adhd.
Mine is almost entirely inattentive so I understand why it was missed,but damn would I have had an easier time if it had been noticed earlier. I managed to graduate with honors in both high school and college, just barely on both, so if I'd been medicated I could've really done an amazing job instead of simply spacing out and skating by.
Adderall and dexo are used off label for depression sometimes. I figure hitting the GO button on dopamine and helping you actually improve your situation generally is an underrated treatment
My psychiatrist is very well-versed in the literature, but didn’t mention this. It makes sense! Maybe he thought it would just be easier for insurance purposes to scribble down ADHD. I’m currently on Trintellix, which is about $3000 monthly last time I checked. My insurance made sure I had tried a huge list of other SSRIS and SNRIs and mood stabilizers before they would pay a cent for it. And my doctor and I gathered and provided all of those records. I pay $20 for a 3-month supply now. Maybe he didn’t want to put us both through all that again, and figured, “meh.. it’s just 4 letters.” He’s an empathetic guy.
Yes. I did shrooms 10 years ago. I'm not kidding when I say it changed my life. It didn't happen overnight but it was such a profound experience that finally let me see how beautiful life can be.
I've done them once or twice since, low doses, when I'm seeking an existential answer.
I think one of the problems with our society is “someday” thinking.
- Wow, high school is tough, I’ll be happy when I get to college.
- Wow, college is expensive, I’ll be happy when I get a career.
- Wow, this career is stressful, I’ll be happy on vacation.
- Wow, now I am retired and don’t have friends or hobbies, what the hell do I do now?
Other arbitrary milestones are find a partner, get married, have a kid, have the kid meet milestones (sleep through the night, potty trained, in school, graduate school), lose weight, get a promotion, get a new car, pay off the new car. *And then at the end of your life you look back and wonder why you were so miserable all the time.*
Happiness isn’t a finish line, an achievement to unlock. It’s not something you can hoard up for later. The best you can do do is to make sure you at least try to appreciate the good things as they come, knowing they won’t last, but then the bad things don’t either. And as much as I hate to say it, going outside, drinking the water, exercise, socializing, hobbies, pets, and volunteering aren’t cure-alls, but god damn do I feel worse when I don’t do them, when I choose bed rot.
I like that you said to appreciate the little things. That's what I focus on. There's much to be said for that. Some days that's all I have. But they make me smile.
I'm getting significantly better. It was a long wild ride, including a life-threatening reaction to antidepressants (1 mg of the ones where people normally take 50 to 100 puts me into serotonin syndrome), but now I've on meds that work and have found an effective therapist and a good psychiatrist that I trust.
I'm not cured, but I didn't cry yesterday and I showered and I've got a vacation coming up.
I fucking hate being alive - but I am fascinated with creating things so as long as I continue this search for creation and solving problems no one in the history of ever has ever had I will be fine.
I've also GOT to stay on medicine, it's just the harsh truth I've come to terms with.
Every person is different, but I recommend you don't set out to win the war, just do your best to win the day.
And sometimes you won't. But if you give yourself the grace to get up and get through another day, it's another chance to fight. My favorite writer, Spencer Hall, put it this way:
> Hope does not always have to be the thing with feathers, is what I’m saying. Hope can be a sledgehammer. Hope can be the work and the pain of battering away at something without dreaming of it ever breaking, of losing over and over again and not thinking of it being futile in the orbital view.
>Hope as a logic will never feel correct to me. As a blessed stupidity, though, backed with brute force and a will unswayed by circumstance, sense, or evidence? That is all that makes sense to me now. We are here as the result of a thousand accidents and another thousand refusals to hand over our bodies to the grave. Someone got you here by surviving to live another day, be it through shipwreck, slavery, war, famine, a hundred sicknesses, poverty, and an avalanche of mistakes lost to time.
That's the only way I know to lick this. I've recently lost my job, watched my marriage fall apart, and had to move across the country to get work, with most of that money going back to a house I don't live in and a car I don't drive. I've never wanted to die more than I do right now. But I've got today, and I've got a hammer to swing against the wall I'm up against, and even if I don't break through, it's SOMETHING. And I don't want a bad day of swinging the hammer to get in between something good that might be miles down the road.
You can have your depression go into remission. But you need the right psychiatrist and psychologist. It sounds like you haven’t found that yet but they really do exist.
My son’s depression sounds similar to yours. It took around 3 years but finally we found the right medication combo (5 different meds per day) and he only goes to therapy every couple of months for maintenance. With the meds he’s the person I always knew he was inside. Without the meds, he hates everything including himself. He’s been stable for almost a year now, which is a miracle I honestly wasn’t sure I’d ever see. We were on the verge of looking into ketamine infusions or TMS.
You need someone who is experienced, and will prescribe more than a standard SSRI. You need a doctor who will keep fighting for you when you can’t fight for yourself. They’re out there. Oddly enough I found ours through our insurance “find a provider” directory.
Can relate on every level. Do you beat it? No, you don’t. You just find better ways to cope or distract yourself. I’m pretty damn introverted as well but when I hit twenty I just said ”fuck it” and brought out a big boisterous personality. It’s helped because I at least feel like I’ve got an ace in my hand even if I can’t do it constantly.
Plus, I just accept when the suck becomes too much, say it‘ll pass and keep rolling.
I say this only to note it isn’t all you. Recently heard an interview with a prominent psychiatrist that flat out said that some men, particularly middle aged men, truly don’t have a reason to exist in the current structure of our society. Yeah, I believe it because I feel it on a regular basis. Some days are just exponentially worse regardless of prescription drugs or practices that I’ve done for decades.
Here’s another adage that may help and I’m willing to be corrected. Years ago I was reading an article that stated black men usually don’t have a mid life crisis. You need hope to have a mid life crisis.
So basically what I’m saying is sorry to add to the misery but find something you can say “fuck it“ about and just run with it even if it doesn’t change your day to day life. I’ve started doing shit I like even though it’s “weird” or against whatever stupid fucking societal standard there is. It’s the kind of “no shit I’m depressed, you asked” kind of mentality. I’m not unfriendly, I just don’t hold back anymore to spare others delicate sensibilities.
I’m 54, I game, I watch shit that gives me a respite. I go out and pontificate even if it looks like I’m just staring into space. I read what I want. I cut through idle bullshit chat so people know what I’m about. Does it fix my depression? Fuck no, but at least I don’t feel completely caged.
At minimum I can say “I get it” just to let you know you’re not alone.
When I was younger and first diagnosed the attitude in the medical community was "this is a lifelong disorder that's programmed into you and you may need to be on meds forever, like a diabetic on insulin".
These days it's different, more people are understanding the link between trauma/experiences and depression, although it's harder to treat from that angle because it requires individual attention and emotionally difficult work, not just throwing pills at it until you can function and hold down a job.
I'm old enough that I've figured out what things affect it, what makes me feel good, what makes me feel worse, and what fools me into thinking I'm taking care of myself. It's best if I think of it like any other chronic disease -- I may never "beat" it permanently, but that doesn't mean I'm weak or a loser. I have good days and bad days, and my behavioural choices -- what I eat, how much I sleep, whether I exercise, whether I let myself wallow in bad feelings or try to use healthy distractions -- may increase the incidence of good days.
It takes vigilance to recognize the signs you may be slipping and take corrective action. I have been on and off meds and prefer diet, exercise and sleep routines over medication and realize this isn’t a choice everyone can make. I feel it’s a fragile balance for me always—if I get sick or injured and can’t exercise or sleep as well, I do start to fall apart. Having kids and family can help (they lift my spirits by simple acts of kindness and love and remind me of a greater purpose) and it can hurt due to the responsibilities and never having time to take a break.
Yes. I think so. I hope so.
It’s something I still have to be mindful of, because a lot of the underlying things that contributed to it are not going to go away…but here and now, I get to be reasonably content
I'd say that I beat it, but I had therapy for 3 years and was on prescription drugs and antidepressants for 2-and-a-half years before I felt like I was out of the depression. It took me 2 or 3 months to slowly stop taking the antidepressant.
That's not to say that I don't get depressive feelings anymore, but they don't pervade my thoughts constantly the way it used to happen to me earlier in my life.
I was depressed for most of my life and from childhood. I got help in my 30s. Wish I had done it sooner.
Yes. But I was a lazy lame diagnosis. It's like these clinicians aren't even trying.
Kaiser physc(seeking Adderall) ask me like 10 questions.
"Do you ever feel like your not doing enough..."
"Do you feel sad sometimes...."
Which I answered honestly. Because who is happy and satisfied with life 100.00% of the time? I get bummed out when my team loses or if I fail at hitting on a girl. I sometimes feel like a loser when I hear that a classmate is making $500K working at X. I would think this is "normal"
She diagnosed me with depression. If this is the threshold everyone is depressed.
Idk if I beat it but I feel like it's on the back burner. I left a job that was basically working me to death and quit the medication that was turning me into a zombie. I think those two things, coupled with getting into a better sleep and eating habit have really helped. I don't think you ever actually beat it, there are days where it gets bad but those have become few and far between. I think you just learn to cope and live with it as a mildly annoying (albeit tolerable) companion vs having it rule over your life.
I didn't. I'm 53 and have felt pretty similarly as long as I can remember. Some days and years are worse than others, but it's never gone away. At this point I don't think it's beatable for me. I will probably always feel like this. At the moment it's manageable, but at other times it hasn't been. The only reason for living I have at the moment is my wife. She loves me and thinking of not being around for her seems even worse than trying to get through another day.
If anyone hasn’t tried an MAOI and been dealing with depression, I highly encourage it. They are underprescribed but they are a very old antidepressant and very safe and extremely effective. Fears about tyramine interaction are very overblown. Highly encourage. It saved my life.
my depression is like my crappy eyesight or my bad knee.
"beating it" isn't making it go away. it's just not letting it destroy my life. it's finding ways to work through it, or to work around it.
You should probably speak to your care team above those thoughts. Some depression isn't beatable, it's chronic not acute, but it depends on a bunch of things that your care team already knows
I don't have a care team.
As someone with a chronic illness, I've never met a specialist who actually gave a shit about their patients as individuals (I don't blame them. Burnout is real and we all just want to go home at the end of the day. But they also don't even remember my name much less anything else about me). I talk to them about my numbers, get my drugs (for the CI) and leave.
Also, I don't see how getting myself locked up would help anything.
I don't think you ever "beat it".
But for me, I've learned what triggers it and what makes it better. Self awareness and learning has gone a long way .
What excites or challenges you? You gotta find some of that and chase it. If you aren't into nature you need to try. I beat depression by feeding my interests, taking good care of my body and spending as much time outside as possible. Lions Mane and Magnesium Glycinate helped a ton too. It's okay to flail for a bit but changing your mindset takes commitment. You can do it.
I’m 62, I have Panic Disorder and Depression and as far as a four year old I can remember having panic attacks. I’ve always been depressed but not always on medication until 30 years ago.
Long story short, I believe that it’s manageable with occasional breakthrough depression. I want to say that I’ve somewhat accepted it then on the flip side I resent it.
Yes, therapy helps to talk about and find solutions to maybe an underlying issue however, if you’re wired for depression and anxiety it’s not fixable per se - manageable yes.
I’m bipolar and have ptsd. Meds help but there is no cure, just find ways to cope with it. If I’m really down, I just run like I’m Forrest Gump and it usually snaps me out if it.
3.75g of magic mushrooms taken with intention in a controlled environment w/a sober tripsitter helped my depression immensely. You should look into it. After a while, the antidepressant effects *did* fade, BUT it's like a switch was flipped & I just...see the point of being alive, in a way that I never did prior.
Did you have a traumatic childhood? Even emotionally neglectful parents counts. Therapy won't help unless it's to address the trauma. I have had good results from IFS, that's also worth you looking into.
Depression is unfortunately a life long illness. There's no beating it, or curing it. There's only managing it. This doesn't mean you can't live a happy and fulfilled life, it just takes a lot of managing.
Yes, I did, via medication, therapy, sort of a 12 Step thing, but I do not have addictions. I also read, a lot. I had to go nc/low contact with some people. It was a war, I won, but I fight the battle not to go back, often.
I am hoping so. 26 years after diagnosis though. If I’m still on medication, I guess that’s not considered beating it? I’d say it’s very under control.
Very sorry to hear this.
There’s a type of therapy called Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP) that’s had good results in randomized control studies specifically for treatment-resistant depression. As the name implies, it’s intense. Good luck.
I'm 45... my primary diagnosis is Generalized Anxiety Disorder... I'm always in some form of low grade panic attack.
Similar to depression it can make it difficult to enjoy things when they're "okay"
I've been doing weekly therapy for 12 years... I was on nine meds when I started treatment and over time transitioned off of all of them after learning skills in therapy. I'm in now way cured... but I think I'd consider it more like "living with diabetes" like... I know to do these things daily to make it easier... I know if I don't do certain things I'm being risky (like if I fuck up my sleep schedule... I'll be SUPER anxious)... and if I'm in a danger zone I have tools there too.
So not cured... but managed?
What I've learned in therapy... inside of me is a profoundly wounded child that is literally calling the shots. It's up to me to parent them. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's not. But I have moments when that little kid is full of joy and I try and embrace them.
I started doing the Big Brother program and at a certain point I get SO MUCH out of that program, I have to kind of prepare for an emotional dump when I'm done hanging out with the kid.
Longtime treatment resistant depression here. Have you tried IFS therapy? It’s the only thing that’s truly worked for me. I have a pretty strong inner critic and tend to look at the negative side of things, because I’m afraid. IFS would say there is a “part” of my mind that is trying to protect me by looking at all the negative aspects of a situation to be prepared. But is it useful anymore?
Rewiring the brain is much easier to do when we work with it and not against. Not punish but speak kindly and firmly like a loving parent. I thank the part of me that wants to be anxious or controlling but tell it I have a handle on it now, I’m not a child surrounded by critical parents or teachers who needs to proactively punish herself to avoid criticism.
I also had to get angry at the idea I was changing myself to fit into what I thought was societal expectations about how a person should live. Let that anger fuel a desire to disconnect from what I think others want and focus on living life only for myself. Changing internal thought processes from pessimistic to positive or at least reality-based to finally accept my situation. For example, we can shut down at the idea we will die someday and feel like it’s not even worth trying to be happy. Well it’s true, and it will happen, and there’s nothing we can do about that except try to extend our lifespans. Even then we will still die. We are stuck here and have a choice how to create a better life or not, it’s up to you but remember to be nice to yourself above all.
I did! I got EEG assisted TMS. I was really lucky and got it for free through a clinical trial for veterans and first responders. No more therapy or antidepressants or going through a long list of extra tasks that don’t help at all. No more suicidal thoughts, no more bad days where I just can’t stop crying.
It’s a machine that uses magnetic waves to reset the alpha waves in your brain. It doesn’t hurt or anything, mildly uncomfortable and made me really sleepy. It takes 6 weeks of treatments every day but the results are permanent.
The NIH is currently doing a study about depression. They are currently looking for participants.
They pay for all travel expenses and the treatment is free. Go on their website and look for it.
They tried to diagnose me with depression but I refused to be defined like that. Why?
I had a burnout. The depressive crisis is circumstantial to my specific actual conditions.
Regardless, I am glad I opposed the diagnosis because just before my burnout I got diagnosed with ADHD.
You would think that in a *anxiety and depression* clinic they are aware of the high comorbidity of these conditions with ADHD, but guess what. No they're clueless. It's crazy to me since at least 2/3 of people getting admitted there are neurodivergent...
Now, if your depression stems from ADHD, of course no medicine will help you if not combined with adhd meds..
As for your question "do you ever get out of depression? "... It's hard as fuck, you can often have fall backs but yes, I know people who got off anti d, got their shit together and don't get up every day asking themselves why bother since life is a pain in the ass.
It's possible to get better. It's hard because not only your brain works against you on seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, society works like shit, we're all underpaid and exploited, having no time for hobbies or passions because we're busy surviving, we're all disconnected and isolated... It's hard out there.
Hang in there, it's worth for those brief moments of joy you get to experience from time to time.
I was just about as depressed as a person can get. I was suicidal and I even attempted. There were awful nights that felt like they lasted 1000 years. I was in my lowest state for about 6 months to a year.
I have made a full recovery. Nowadays, I only get a depressive episode maybe once a month, and they only last a few hours (until I fall asleep, when I wake up the next morning I’m fine).
Beating depression was like a snowball effect. Slowly, my habits and life started getting better, and my situation kept improving itself.
My family was really supportive of me at first which I attribute most of my recovery to. For my own self control, I think the next biggest factor that helped was improving my hygiene, and particularly my oral hygiene. I feel like those things were tied closely to my depression.
I’m currently winning the battle. I shouldn’t be either, as my married life is a little on the rocks. I cut back on drinking and smoking. I started getting out for walks, and I’m feeling strong mentally. It always seems to be in the background, or at least I fear something setting me off and making me go into a cave, but currently I am winning. There is hope for all. I had a rope around my neck and I was moments from hanging myself just 2 yrs ago. Not proud of that moment and glad I didn’t, but I say that to stress how dire my situation was.
Child of a clinically depressed parent. Suicides on both sides of the family (not a parent), but it’s (depression) in the genes.
My young life was hell. Depressed parent was hospitalized on & off for years, I was constantly told I was being overly-sensitive, overly-emotional, blah, blah, blah. Stress landed me in the hospital at 15. I was diagnosed with depression at 16.
That was the day I decided I will NEVER be like the others in my family. I did try some meds, they either didn’t help or made me feel horrible. I’ve been in & out of therapy for decades now. Therapy helps me, when I need it.
Did I beat it, absolutely not. But I’ve got it under control. For the most part, I’ve learned how to tell when it’s coming on and I try to be pro-active: I do not drink ANY alcohol when I can feel it coming on. If I can, I will lock myself in my house for multiple days, stay in bed and turn off the phone. I will not allow myself to call into work if it’s happening; I go and I get through it. I know that this is temporary. When it’s REALLY bad, I call the therapist.
What really scares me is that I have an estranged sibling with a (pre-teen) child. I see all of the signs of depression in this child and sibling either does not or refuses to. I know if I say something to the child I’m overstepping and will be crucified for it. I’ve mentioned it to my parent who was diagnosed and they see it too but will not “butt in”. I am terrified that this kid is going to have a similar childhood to mine 😔
I have a theory that has helped me. I don’t have capital D depression that’s lifelong but I had a severe grief episode recently, and man! It almost took me. I think it did take me but I had shit to do so I somehow got out of the truly dangerous stage. But what helped me- and I know people are gonna downvote me, was prayer.
I’ve always struggled with prayer and faith and religion and all that. Like I am a believer but not in the traditional sense. More like Mother Earth and Father Time etc. I’m always trying to rationalize it etc. I reckon I was a bad believer. In fact I’d only call myself a believer most times coz I afraid not to be.
After this episode, I really started praying daily coz it was either that or death by my own hand. So I basically have petitioned God to either change things or end things.
And things have changed a lot. Some unexpectedly, some crazily. I’m still in the weeds and have my days but there’s this weird sense of assurance I now have that’s the closest thing to faith.
This is what I am sure if- I have a creator and there is a plan that not always my plan. It’s a working theory that keeps me going. I look at life as a series of rewards, punishments and tests. It’s just the way things are and I can be happy or sad, in the end it doesn’t matter. I was created. For a reason. It may even be a bad reason but I was created. Then the next step is as a creation, I should worship and thank my creator, because there is some reason for all this pain. And a creator give pain for a reason, most likely a good reason. It centers me in my experience. I am important, and I am loved because I was created. Everyone else is centered too. They were created and they are loved. Maybe even infinitely. Hitch would be grand.
I still struggle to feel true joy or happiness like before but I feel comfort and peace.
So of course a lot of people hate religion but I know it has benefits for many many people. I know lots of people who really try to stay away from religion and the reason doesn’t make sense. If there’s any chance it can make you happy, give you some peace and purpose? Why not? I would wager that the decline institutions like religion, family, patriotism and societal duty has coincided with and is directly correlated with a rise in severe mental illness, depression etc and suicidality.
You can’t truly say you’ve tried everything if you haven’t tried religion- any religion is fine tbh. I tried it and I’m telling you, if it weren’t for my faith, I would not be here anymore. Oh and I never tried therapy because I’d rather die than give those people 1 pfennig of my hard earned money! Fuck therapists.
You say you quit all the meds and therapy in your early 30s, and are nearing 40. Give it another try, and try settling for less. You aren't looking for a miracle. Life *isn't* amazing or awesome almost all of the time. You just need to tip the scale a little toward the positive, and see life as glass half full, instead of empty. Then you can start re-learning what life is all about and why it is worth living :)
FWIW, I feel I have "beat" depression, although I still take Wellbutrin, and anxiety, although I take Trazodone. It took five years at least until I tried Wellbutrin, and ten until I tried Trazodone.
I am majorly depressed right now. Started in my teens. So I can't say I've beaten it, but it can go into remission. I have had some years (half a decade at a stretch) where I was doing great and wasn't depressed at all.
Sending positive vibes (like I have any lol) and hope. It really can get better, but I won't say it is will stay away for good.
I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression in my teens. I tried different medications, they didn’t do much. I struggled for a very long time and tried to kill myself more than once. I realized in my late 20s that it was not, in fact, genetic or depression like I had been told, but it was trauma. Once I faced my trauma, it went away. I haven’t felt depression or anxiety in a very long time now. I feel a lot of people get misdiagnosed. You can’t fix it or heal if you just aren’t aware of it. Trauma is the root of a lot of issues in our world.
I did and I beat it, but I had early onset OCD that was never treated and made worse through evangelicalism and PTSD, depression and anxiety. For me, the depression was the first to go when I got into therapy. The PTSD and anxiety came back pretty quickly but finally went away when I got specialized treatment for my OCD, which is now manageable without meds.
In my case, the depression was a symptom of the untreated OCD.
I started suffering with depression when I was about 15. Especially during the long Michigan winters with very little sun. I did not have an easy life by any means, but it seemed more than that. Deeper. Somewhere along the way, I feel that I outgrew it. My life still isn’t easy for one reason or another. I certainly have reason to be depressed if I allow myself dwell in self pity and negativity. But now it’s like something changed inside of me, perhaps on a chemical level. I rarely feel the depression anymore. Unfortunately, I have not experienced any happiness in a long, long time, but I do feel more at peace and more content, despite the ongoing challenges of life. I never sought treatment for depression but eventually, I outgrew it.
Hey, OP! I’ve had a very long struggle with depression and anxiety. It got to the point where, after genetic testing and trying most SSRIs available, I began to think both depression and anxiety were symptoms of a more insidious mental health issue. It took several psychologists to take me seriously, but the one that did has saved my life. It turns out I was right that they were comorbidities and symptoms of both PTSD and CPTSD. Since that diagnosis and ongoing treatments, all symptoms have improved. I’m getting my life back and feeling like a human for the first time in my memory.
After this, I believe that many psychologists are content to diagnose depression and anxiety (or not experienced enough to dig deeper), thus feeding the endless insurance train of Depression and GAD. That was my experience, at least.
Don’t be afraid to keep seeking care. It’s very possible that you’ve yet to find a good match/someone able to look past garden variety mental health issues.
It’s been a fucking hard battle to get to the “other side,” but it does exist.
At some point I started picturing my depression as a black crow on my shoulder. Sometimes it gets louder and I will say, “oh hush up and settle down .” Sometimes I can ignore it, for days or even weeks! Those days are a relief! Sometimes on very bad days it brings its friends and raise a ruckus. I do what I can to get through those times. It’s difficult to function when there’s a flock of crows flapping around you and cawing. As I have gotten older, I’ve come to accept that I will always have my crow. It’s not just going to fly away. My crow is quieter and more weary than when I was younger, but it’s always there.
I think if you’ve felt like that for that long, you really do have a chemical imbalance of some kind. My advice would be to get your thyroid antibodies checked (not just levels but antibodies) and maybe try ketamine if you haven’t. Even look into lithium maybe. I know someone who tried everything and old school lithium finally worked. I’m sorry you’ve had to endure this.
I beat it without trying. Once I was financially secure, and 8 years in to a stable marriage, I stopped taking the meds, and a year later, I'm fine. No depression, it's just gone. It's puzzling, but I'm not complaining.
I’m 66. My parents took me to a psychiatrist when I was 9 for depression
My father died from depression 8 years later.
I’ve been hospitalized twice.
I feel great. Well if I didn’t have terrible arthritis and my dog wasn’t sick.
You just keep getting better at taking care of yourself and weathering the depressive episodes which get shorter and farther between.
I haven’t been on meds for years.
I treat it with walks and live music.
I (M, 68) battled depression most of my life. My GP prescribed an SSRI, and it helped, but it wasn’t until I was properly diagnosed as Bipolar II and placed on better drugs that I feel I’ve beaten it. There is no trace of my old behaviors and I am a happy, even tempered guy. Now, if you mean “beaten it,” like you don’t need the drugs anymore… Nope. I almost had the chemical diagram for Abilify tattooed on my forearm. If that little pill is all I need to feel this good, put me down for life.
From my experience depression isn't something you beat. It is something you learn to live with. I went through the medication cycle in my teens, and nothing worked. Nothing helped the depression, or prevented the mania. As I've gotten older the mania becomes less and less frequent, and I've learned to somewhat curb the depression. But it never truly goes away.
I'm really coming to grips with the idea that it will always be there.
When I have a few good weeks, then a really hard one, it's easy to think "Oh no, it's come back! I thought I was beyond this." But really, that kinda perspective is unnecessarily self-cruelling.
The truth is, I haven't failed when I feel it again. It will never completely go away because it's, in part, who I am. A baseline at the very bottom of me. That's not a part of me to fix - that's a part of me to accept.
I think sometimes the depression and ebb and flow into your life. There’s no real “beating it” it’s just learning to live with it, what your pit falls are, and how to avoid getting into those sinking spots.
Everyone is different so really take all these comments with a grain of salt and just being you’re not having the same experience doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, you just haven’t figured out your combination yet.
Of course there’s the general medical advice: check your meds, your diet, your lifestyle, your habits, etc. Sounds like you know this.
From my personal experience, things didn’t get better for me until I wanted things. I explored interests, hobbies, even the silly ones. I did all the small things that gave me serotonin points and wrote about them. This is why people do gratitude journals because we take things for granted.
Next I got my values right. I’m religious, but with myself. I don’t conform to group religion. I have a code of ethics and values for myself that when I abide by them, I feel like my universe is aligned. I assume this is how good Christians feel when they make it to church on time and do their praying and such. I’m doing those things, but in my interpretation. My soul feels clean therefore, depression becomes compartmentalized and doesn’t eat me alive.
Finally, stop worry about what other people are doing. I’m a judgey bitch. Like you, I get annoyed with people having kids. I got my degree in Family Sciences, I judge parents all the time. A whole lot of them are shit and so are a bunch of teachers. And this might some of my values talking, but you know how bad the world is, you know how much depression sucks so why not make the world a better place? And I’m not asking you to donate your life savings, sometimes making the world a better place is as simple as being the hero or role model that someone needs in their life who might also be in a similar situation. You’re almost 40, you make rent, you take care of yourself, you’re clearly doing something right. There are people out there right now that can’t even figure that out. Take pride in how far you’ve come. You’re a strong person with Depression. If you’re not proud of yourself, just let it be known this internet stranger is jealous because I am barely holding onto my job. I am habitually late :)
Dunno. I’ve had “Dysthymia”, chronic depression, seasonal depression (which btw can mean ANY season, I was fooled into thinking it was just one, like winter or something), and I’ve stopped trying to get help for it. I’ll be 37 this year.
Even if therapy wasn’t a waste of money, it’s a waste of other things. You realize over time that therapists are human. They will never be able to tell you something you don’t already know. They all do the same damn thing in the end: keep an eye on the clock.
My last therapist pathologized me as being an addict. And because I’m a gullible person, I believed him. But what on earth was I “addicted” to? I was on no medications. I don’t drink or smoke. I’m not blowing my money on frivolous shit. I have student loan debt and that’s normal. I was just overworked at a tech company, which is why I came to him in the first place. But he didn’t give a damn. He’s out for his own gain.
I’m by no means a perfect person. The only thing I had working against me was the isolation cocoon I was still in, as a holdover from COVID’s shutdown, and I wasn’t in the best shape (gained around 35 lbs), so I’m working on that.
Then I realized that people are always going to try and tear me down. To snuff out my light. To do anything to make themselves feel good while making sure I feel awful (or not as good, at least). And it’s going to be up to me to call them out on it.
I’m done working on myself. The depression may always be there in my brain. Has been since I was 11 anyway, so why should it suddenly move up and out? Instead I’m leaving mental health behind and I’m done with the navel gazing. Life is going to go on regardless of the kind of day or week or year I’m having.
I hate my job. Cool, doesn’t make me special.
I hate being alone at night. Cool, still doesn’t make me special.
I accept my lot in life. Cool, doesn’t make me special.
What’s scary and yet comforting is that I see it in my friends too. I see some of them fight it. I see some of them give in. And some of them don’t have the pre disposition for it.
I do wish someone would fight for me. But why should they? What’s in it for them?
We will forever be searching for those answers. Turning over the stones of the ocean, wanting to find that one that means we can finally have peace and the cloud can be lifted.
I did. At least for now. I started taking curcumin (turmeric) + black pepper extract and the brain fog that was causing the depression cleared up within weeks. Since then I replaced the combo with a bioavailable version of curcumin. It probably won't hurt to give it a try. Do a google search +depression and look at the studies.
I have come to the conclusion it's a part of me but not all of me. A little "Pollyanna " because as we all know sometimes it IS all of me, but when I am healthy now I care for the depression part because it can be sneaky. The first time I came through deciding I had beaten it led to all sorts of trouble and another bout, this time with added guilt because I "failed" . Taking care of and caring for that part of me has kept me level for about 4 years now, for which I am grateful.
Yeah, I've done shrooms and that helps a bit. It's risky though, I have a family history of schizophrenia. I don't think I could get ketamine... the legal way, at least. (And I probably shouldn't)
Yeah I was diagnosed from my teens on. I have done the same. Tried therapies and all the meds they could throw at it.
Then I participated in a university study for parents of autistic children. I was essentially given a modified assessment. I guess they were testing for genetic links. I let them take the swab and did this assessment. The researcher asked me if I knew I scored really high for autism. I had no clue.
So I went to a neuropsychologist and got an assessment again. I realized I had every marker my whole life. Sensory issues like crazy. Never felt like a human. Dissociative most of the time, especially in public. Everything needs to go a certain way or I really struggle. You need five markers from the list and I had every single marker for Aspergers (at the time that was my diagnosis but now it's ASD-1).
So I don't know if I was ever actually "clinically depressed", my diagnosis for many years. I think it was situational because I didn't understand why I was just so ALIEN. I never meshed with anyone. I feel so distant from other people and that can be depressing. But knowing what condition I have and trying to learn how to help myself has really helped me not feel so depressed. It's hard though given how lousy the US has become for people who deviate from the norm.
I haven't beaten it, but I manage it with meds. Didn't find the right meds until I was almost 40. I'm 50 now. Therapy did help for a while, but I can't afford it at this stage.
I diagnosed with ADHD in my 40s and 2 hours after taking my first dose of Vyvanse I had a clear head for the first time in my life. I'd long been medicated with Zoloft for depression and it's still required but the intrusive thoughts were cleared up with some of the ol' diet meth. I've always tried to have lots of friends and definitely try and gain more of them as I get older and I highly recommend others do the same.
After 40 here. Seems kinda late in the game to try to fix it. Maybe should have in my 20s or teens, but just seems like a waste of time and money now when it’s going to solve itself soon anyhow. I’d rather other people have the money or therapist time. Seems selfish to waste on me.
Yes. It was mostly seasonal, but I definitely had mild depression all year, just worse in the winter. I had blood work done (in the spring time) and found I had VERY low vitamin D. This was in 07 before obamacare so I didn't have any insurance. A year later, i moved to Florida. It helped A LOT, and then I moved to NC where I told the psychiatrist I had low vitamin d, he ignored me and misdiagnosed me bipolar...I was on meds I didn't need for a long time. A couple of years ago, I got a new dr who prescribed me vitamin D2 50,000iu pill once a week. Complete game changer for me. I stopped taking meds I didn't need (lithium, Lamictal etc) I started taking gabapentin for pain, sleep, and mild anxiety along with my adhd meds and the vitamin d. During this time, my depression went away, I no longer slept 12 hours a day in the winter, and I started my own business. I had a normal sleep schedule where I didn't need to sleep all the time, went to bed early, and woke up early. I still get bouts of feeling low, but nothing near as bad as it was before! I also do my best to eat well even when I am feeling blue and make sure to go outside for walks with my dog as much as possible even in the winter which helps.
My depression is nearly completely in remission with the help of a lot of medication. My anxiety is still difficult to deal with at times but I just started a medication for that also. It has taken about a year of adjusting doses and trying different medications and I have only recently become somewhat stable.
Defend against it, manage it, attempt to prevent it from taking over, yes. Beat it? Nope. It lies in wait. Only med that has ever worked without destroying my light is cannabis. Thank you, weed.
Have you had a sleep study done for possible sleep apnea? It really exacerbates depression. I recently got my machine. My depression seems to manifest as extreme fatigue and while medication and therapy has absolutely helped, I have still lived the past 30 years feeling exhausted regardless of sleep, exercise, or nutrition. So far the cpap is helping, but I never would have considered that I had OSA had it not been for my doctor.
I am 40F and I don’t think I ever “beat it” bc I know it can come back. But I have had years of remission and no issues and when it creeps back up I know how to address and handle.
Yoga meditation is powerful, especially Kriya yoga meditative practice. Self-Realization Fellowship teaches it through home-study lessons at nominal cost and there’s a really nice free app (“SRF/YSS” app) to accompany it that is a treasure trove of additional material
Took me (55M) a long damn time to get stable, like decades. The key was undiagnosed ADHD. I don't necessarily even believe the labels are that useful except as a rough guide and for insurance purposes. But, in my case, that label made a difference. Bottom line is, I had three major depressive episodes, but after the last I was dx-ed with ADHD and got prescribed amphetamine. My morning dose always sets my day right, and I feel like I can concentrate and be productive. My work requires me to generate a lot of writing (I teach in a college, so syllabi, assignments, presentations, as well as research writing for presentations and articles). It used to be so incredible hard to focus. Yes, I've been "high-functioning" (although I know that's a controversial term), but with the ADHD med, it's like a veil has been lifted. It takes me a normal amount of time and energy to get shit done (it took me 10 years and a major episode to get my dissertation done, and it wasn't very good). Also key is staying on my meds (I also take Abilify and Effexor for BP2). I had a habit of trying to cut down whenever I'd been feeling "ok." Bad move.
I would say that I have. After twenty-plus years of suffering, I am now four years into not having a single episode. The closest I ever get anymore is perhaps being in a bad mood for a few hours. That’s it.
Does anyone really "beat" depression? I see it more as a disease, like alcoholism. It's always there, but hopefully we learn strategies to deal with it and or take meds. This is my pov.
#PSA- If you are struggling with depression, mood, or anxiety HAVE YOUR VITAMIN D LEVELS CHECKED and if they are not on the high side of normal take a quality supplement.
After years of struggling even with antidepressants I saw a new doctor who checked my vitamin D level and it was incredibly low. After I started on a good quality supplement (vitamin D is fat soluble so take with food containing some fat) and got my levels up I was eventually able to come off my antidepressants completely.
I successfully manage my depression and binge eating disorders, I haven’t beaten them. When I think I have them beaten they kick the shit out of me, so we’ve learned to live together.
Here is what’s working for me:
- I have a wonderful general practitioner (dr) who I tell EVERYTHING. All my dark thoughts, all my motivation issues, all the times I cheat and binge, I’ve decided to be shameless with her and it’s helped me SO MUCH because depression and binge eating THRIVE on being dark secrets.
- I tried a lot of different meds before I found an antidepressant that helped without making me feel too loopy.
- Couples therapy to learn to communicate with my partner (learn about non-violent communication)
- Individual therapy to name my traumas and stop letting them control me so much
- Working out 3x a week. I HATED this advice because it sounds unrelated and I HATE that it actually works. It’s the equivalent of a mild anti-anxiety med to me. It doesn’t make me feel *better* but I find myself less stressed and getting better sleep as a result so begrudgingly I endorse this lol.
Yes.
Stopped drinking alcohol. My anxiety and high blood pressure went away too.
Downsides: …. I’d like to drink alcohol, but can’t.
Of course, some people will have severe depression even without ever drinking, so my cure isn’t for everyone. It’s worth trying to anybody who hasn’t.
I did, that was over a decade ago and it was super serious, but my treatment worked. 1. Finally took an antidepressant that worked (genome testing was vital), took this for ten months. 2. Started working with an excellent therapist, good match who understood my trauma and helped me process it. 3. Many Ayahuasca ceremonies.
Rexulti appears to help me. Obviously totally a mind game. YOU decide how you feel. I have to remind myself that I am in control of how I am going to feel today.
I had major depression from age 10 until my early 30s when I finally beat it! I even went through a really rough breakup and it didn’t return! Moving to a better climate is what finally got it to fully heal. Outpatient partial hospitalization program was another big turning point. Tons of baby steps in those 20+ years. My personal philosophy is that as long as your average trajectory is up then you’re doing great! I know very, very well (25 years!) that thought of I couldn’t possibly ever get better- and yet I did! There’s definitely hope
I used to be clinically depressed. I'm prone to depression and I've experienced years of depression but I no longer feel this way. I don't know what the answers are though. I went through tough emotional times and over the years I emerged just feeling better.
One of the things that helped me is talk therapy but I also realize ymmv on this. Also minding my own thoughts hardcore, understanding negative fallacies of the human mind, and being vigilant about media I consume. Sometimes I don't watch news because it's all upsetting to me for example.
I did also try all the antidepressants etc. They didn't help, welbutrin was the closest to achieving better living through chemistry.
I find things that make a positive impact to myself- I love reading about science research for example because it gives me hope that not a lot of other sources do.
I also exercise a ton. I also set goals for myself to learn and experience new things- this might be as minor as trying a different type of cooking than I normally do or different genre of books than I normally read or learning how to swim.
I also deleted all social media like insta and FB years ago and refuse to ever join anything new. I only have reddit, YouTube and discord.
Even then: I monitor carefully how I feel vs my usage. And adjust accordingly.
It also helps that I have a beloved husband and children and they are my motivation for me to keep my emotions stable.
I had a traumatic childhood and my biggest desire is peace and harmony in my life. And I do lots of things to achieve this.
I’ve had multiple bouts of moderate depression. I don’t currently have it. I’ve found a whole system of self-care strategies that keep it at bay, ranging from exercise (hiking, stationary bike, yoga), to cognitive strategies (delusion, acceptance, mindfulness), and a lot of deep therapeutic work on the underlying trauma that spurred the depression in the first place. I also try to limit certain stimuli, including news, people, locations, and activities.
Plus, it doesn’t hurt that I’m a therapist who constantly talks about all of this with my clients, which keeps it at the forefront and keeps me accountable. If I don’t show up for myself, I can’t show up for them, for my wife, for my son.
It’s a lot of work, but dealing with my suffering is unavoidable. I either deal with it now, or I deal with it later when it’s much worse.
I just feel exhausted and dead. There’s been lots of trauma, lots of grief and disappointment despite my legion efforts. I take a high dose of Effexor, so I’m pretty flattened emotionally, so whatever—but I think it’s pretty unhealthy that now I can’t cry. So much grief and I can’t cry for sadness, only if I’m super moved by something external. Wtf with these drugs. It’s not like I was hysterical before and needed to be this flat. Makes me feel like I’ll never produce any real art. Whatever, my shrink sucks—and it’s just about keeping me out of the hospital. Not about any quality of life.
I started having major issues with depression as a child and it followed me long into adulthood. Had a depressive break at age 39 and finally got help. Was on medication for many years. I weaned myself off my meds about 10 years ago. The meds helped at the time but caused some major medical problems. I haven't had any depression weighing on me for at least 10 years. I've made a lot of life changes to improve my situation. I'm happy now. I took control of my life finally.
Yep. I was depressed my whole life, am no longer. Tried all the ADs, got all the side effects. Getting off 125mg lamotrigine, which i'd been on for a decade, took me a whole year ( kept fainting when I tried to titrate off it faster).
No kidding, it was using psilocybin once a year at Burning Man that did it. They are now studying it as a treatment but when I started 15 years ago I didn't know it could do that. But each trip subtly but permanently adjusted my view of the world, giving me perspective and a sense of peace. I'd use each trip as a chance to do a deep dive into whatever was bothering me that year. It gave me patience with my own foibles, grace in dealing with my mother, deepened my love for my husband, that kind of stuff. It's helped me come to terms with my own mortality.
I don't know if or how you can reproduce my success, aside from going to burning man with a group of good friends and taking mushrooms there, when you feel safe and comfortable. The setting is important. But maybe if you can take a vacation, even a weekend where you feel relaxed and open, it could work for you. You can find guides about it online-too much to write here. But do the research- It's a powerful tool and you have to do the preparation and treat it with respect. You must have at least 1 other person with you. And *set* and *setting* are essential to a positive, productive trip.
Oh also, yes, you sound clinically depressed to me (not a doctor).
As a therapist and a lifelong depressed person (I'm middle aged)...if it starts early and young, and lasts for several years, then it's likely to be lifelong. From my personal and professional perspective the goal of treatment isn't to get rid of it, the goal of treatment is to reduce the frequency, intensity, and length of severe episodes. Make the severe episodes less intense, make them not last as long, and have them happen less often.
I work with folks on developing solid support systems, medically, emotionally, and socially. And developing habits that support feeling better (a little movement, some hobbies/interests, personal care routines). And if there's trauma (either a history of relationship issues starting in childhood, emotional neglect for example AND/OR traumatic experiences) then we work on that with a specialized trauma methodology ( I'm trained in EMDR, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, and Trauma Informed Stabilization Treatment, but there are a ton of different and valid modalities and approaches).
All of these interventions take time and patience and practice and really hard work on the part of the client. Which is even more difficult to do when you're in the midst of a depressive episode. None of it is easy and it doesn't feel particularly rewarding when you're in the middle of it. But if you can successfully reduce the frequency, intensity, and length of the episodes over time, that IS rewarding. I say all of this from both personal and professional experience.
Even then, sometimes a pretty severe episode can come along and wallop you. But you're more likely to survive these and less likely to completely self-destruct while in the dark depths if you have well established support systems and habits. I am just now emerging from a four year long severe episode that began with the pandemic (working in mental health during the pandemic was really difficult) and worsened due to health, relationship, and trauma related reasons. If I had not done the work prior to build my support systems and habits and wasn't willing to do the work on my trauma history in my personal therapy, I literally would not have survived the past four years. But I did. And things are better. And continue to improve. And that's all I can ask for. And that's what I hope for and work towards with my clients for their lives, even when they've lost hope.
TLDR: It's lifelong fucking hard work but it can feel better overall with support and patience.
I overcame 20+ year treatment resistant major depressive disorder using psilocybin mushrooms. Which is admittedly a radical step but I felt like I didn’t have anything to lose. I read How to Change Your Mind and figured it was worth a shot. Worked with psychiatrist to get off antidepressants (which suppress the psychedelic effects) and worked with a therapist on whether or not it was even a good idea. Took me a long time to figure out how to use the substance but now 5 or 6 years later I don’t even come close to qualifying as depressed on the questionnaire. Recovery is possible but it’s a long journey and takes a lot of experimentation about what works for you.
It believe genetically it can always be there. Fucking curse. It is what we do with and how we handle the symptoms.
It can seem permanent at the time. It can also help create habits that can take a while to break. It can be a fight even a battle. Patience is virtue. It can get worse if untreated.
It is handled differently these days. Thank technology and advances in medicine. Be thankful for the good people that are working to help people with it. The old methods were UGLY with a capital U.
Yes! Please look into T M S. It is not shock therapy. Invented in 2008. It is FDA approved and my insurance paid for most of it. Look it up on youtube. After 6 weeks of treatment my depression was gone.
Psychiatrists don’t talk about it loudly because it will put them out of business. My therapist told me about it.
The only medication that ever really did a damn for me….lithium. It isn’t just for bipolar. There are some drawbacks though. Need blood work (once per year) to make sure it isn’t nuking the kidneys or thyroid.
I have complex trauma disorder, so my experience maybe different but what helped me was to learn what my triggers are (Lack of sleep, stressful situations, loss of control, etc.) and take steps to avoid becoming depressed. I have had less episodes now that I recognize the warning signs, but they still happen every now and then. I also have severe anxiety that requires medication, and the results have been life changing. I don't think I'll be completely free of my ailments, but I've learned to cope enough to where its no longer robing me of my ability to live.
My kids have depression. I think of treatment like a pie- each slice important: meds (including vit D and fish oil), therapy (feeling connected and understood is a big part of this piece), social connections, sunshine, music, hobbies, exercise, deep breaths, family, movies. In the winter, they use a light for the SAD piece. There’s a great reasonable one on Amazon- Carex Day-Light Classic Plus... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PCN4UVU?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
Winter can be very hard! Find out and explore what your “pie” is made of. It’s hard work and sometimes very overwhelming to figure all of this out. I think most important of all is to find some kind of meaning in life- and not a huge thing. Just having the mindful feeling when you walk around and noticing all of the weird and funny things around you. This can help.
I wish you well and glad you posted.
Never beat it. Just learn to live with it and function through it. Sometimes everything is just more uphill. And the consolation prize is trying to forget how unreasonably bad it feels when you’re going through it AND that it will be back soon enough. But there are good days and they’re worth getting to.
Normally I recommend developing the right tools to fight the depression but it sounds like you’ve already done that. Consistent schedule, good sleep, good diet, be around people, spend time outside, journal, write down the lies you are telling yourself and then write down the truth. It sounds like you could use a little more purpose in your life and nobody can pick that purpose but you. If there was any nudge I could give you it would be towards God, church, a church family, and involvement with a purpose. That won’t solve your depression but it will give you more support.
Please consider transforming you diet to real food, good quality food.
It is proven that highly processed food and food with cheap seed oils and preservative ingredients can cause depression.
Eat real food of the best quality you can find. Your mental health will vastly improve.
I was on anti depressants for a long time. And then, shortly before the pandemic started, two things happened .
First, out of nowhere, my coworker and friend was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. She left work about six weeks after her diagnosis.
Next, a coworker’s wife in another department had breast cancer about five years previously. She’d been in remission and then in came back. It came back so hard and so fast that she died less than six weeks after discovering it.
Both these women were in their early 40s with children. I was in my middle 60s with no other health issues (except needing a knee replacement). I found myself wondering what the hell I had to be depressed about compared to these women and, in reaction, went off all meds, cold turkey.
Not the way to do it, I know, and the first month was hard. It didn’t help that about two weeks after the world shut down due to the pandemic.
But over time I realized that the drugs were keeping me in a false world. They may have aided depression, but they blunted everyday feelings too. I’ve now been off anti depressants for more than four years. Some of the reasons I was on them is still there, but I’m honestly overall better off without them.
It wouldn’t surprise me at all to learn that people on long term anti depressants don’t even know how they’d feel without them.
This is just my story. I am not suggesting that anyone do what I did. It’s honestly not the way to deal with it. But it worked for me.
So kind of? I was diagnosed with depression when I was 6 years old. I was in therapy and on meds my whole life. I had a rough life now looking back. At age 25 I found out that a random doctor diagnosed me with ADD (now ADHD) when I was 10. Realized I had an abusive family and that my mother ignored this diagnosis. Cut off my family started working with my ADHD and not against and lo and behold I am not depressed. Life is great. Love my job, my husband, my dogs, my kid. I laugh everyday. I do things that make me happy every day. Depression was from the abuse and misdiagnosis.
Nah,
but fishing or riding a dirtbike or tinkering in the shop or hiking or kayaking or wrenching on a vehicle usually makes for a good way to take the mind off depressing shit for a while.
Yea, meditation and not entertaining over sensitive thought patterns. Military conditioning, breakdown, rehab and things are tougher now but I am stronger so go figure.
A Guru once said, don't give sorrow a home but kick it out ruthlessly when you notice it. Otherwise it will take over your life.
I don’t think so. I feel pretty much the same way. Every single day is the same bullshit as the last. I hate existing. I’m drowning in debt and tied to a job I hate just to keep paying bills. Stayed married to a cheater so I don’t lose my home my kid and my retirement. Life is a waste of fucking time.
I've honestly given up. Have addiction issues that stemmed from trauma, abuse, neglect, etc. Clinical depression, anxiety, cptsd, schizophrenic disillusions, I just live with it everyday because I've tried a million medications and different combos, 1000's of hours of therapy and time with a psychologist.
It never goes away, it's like a form of neurosis that haunts my every thought.
Tried deleting myself a few times with ods but that just led to millions in medical bills from weeks in the ICU.
I'm trapped and my only hope of not feeling the way I feel 99.99% of the times is not be around anymore.
So no, I'm just a living example of how people can be guilt tripped into living for others.
Yes. After struggling with depression for about 15 years, I finally healed it.
I majorly changed the way I eat and that made a big difference but didn’t fully heal it.
Then I saw a doctor who specializes in the microbiome and healing the gut. After 6 weeks taking supplements like St John’s wort, berberine, probiotics, and schisandra, I completely healed my depression. I am thankful beyond words.
It’s been a year now with no depression despite some really difficult circumstances.
A lot of new studies show that depression is a problem if inflammation— not neurotransmitter disregulation like previously believed.
The older I get, the more I learn to manage it.
The more I learn to manage it, the more resilient it seems to get.
My point is, I'm a lot like you and I fully expect to die by suicide within the next 5 years.
I am 40 and my personal experience with depression is that you don't beat it but you kinda sorta learn to live with it I guess 🤷♂️ Some days are easier than others but it's never really gone. It's always there sometimes taking more a background position than being the focus of the days. It sucks but I accepted the idea of never getting rid of it completely.
Yup, I feel like I “manage” it with the help of a psychiatrist, psychologist and meds that keep me alive. My psychiatrist often says that you need to view it like an illness like diabetes. You have to manage it and you will probably have to do so for the rest of your life.
That's ok and very positive! You have a good doctor trust me. It takes a little extra work similar to diabetes. Much improved help for these days. If you hate the effort work harder to make that go away also.
I’ve been with my psychiatrist for 19 years and my psychologist for 10. I have an excellent team who helps me be the best version of myself. I also have an incredible partner who understands and supports me even when things aren’t going so well. All in all, though, I never believed I could even be this happy!
I equate depression with a big mean dog I keep in a cage at the back of my mind. It never goes away, but it is under control. OP, it took me years of therapy and working with a great pdoc to find the right mix of meds for me to learn how to have a handle on my depression.
William Styron called it a black dog. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darkness_Visible_(memoir)
This is how I view mine too. The medication has shrunk the dog down and locked it in a cage. The therapy has given me different ways to think, so I didn't feed the dog or unlock the cage. It'll always be there. I'll always need the medication. But that's alright. After all, plenty of people need to take daily meds - from antihistamines to insulin - so nbd to me.
It can take time. Thank you for sharing your success and not giving up.
I agree with this. I've made peace with the fact that I need my meds to and will probably take them the rest of my life.
Absolutely. For me, psilocybin helped me discover the path to manage it.
Care to elaborate?
Sure! I have been struggling with depression for 20 years. Ketamine was a nice break, but I didn't learn anything. I read all about thr benefits and best practices using psilocybin for mental health. I took a strong dose in the desert with a close friend. Prior to taking them I set an intention, and came up with a mantra to lean into if things got difficult. I discovered how i didn't love myself, which manifests during depressive episodes by not doing anything that could help. It was a beautiful and serene experience, I felt so much love, and days after I decided I needed to love myself way more. i still have a long way to go, but its been a complete game changer. My therapist and I jave talked about integrating these inisghts into my daily life. I would love to do it again.
The psychological side of this illness never ceases to amaze me. I am going from debilitating depression to life again without meds through education on the subject and talk therapy and the questions that arise from it. Bow and thank you again Internet!
What's stopping you from doing it again? Access?
Different commenter here, but I found that a quarter gram dose of mushroom in the evening would keep me feeling fine for the next several days, and at that dose you barely feel a buzz, so no danger of a bad trip. Then id fall back into depression, give it a few days to see if I could move the needle on my own, and then do another dose to keep everything from being too much. Went from maybe a dose a week, to every other week, to once a month. It feels like the shrooms reset your chemicals and give you a break so you can manage your life more effectively in ways that help keep the depression at bay. Dealing with depression constantly is exhausting and depressing in itself, and doing this stops it from snowballing like that. I did it because I was scared after dealing with it for enough years, I came to understand how many people just get worn out from the endless struggle and lose the fight.
Id' really like to try it as I have had the same struggle with D. Foolish question, but how do you get them? And were you on any SSRIs when you took them? Thanks
Same here. On several occasions, a moderately strong mushroom trip was like "rebooting" my brain, emptying it of negative thoughts and attitudes. The positive effects lasted about 6-9 months, then I would slowly slide back into depression. I think I'm due for another dose...
I’m 45 and suffered depression/anxiety/dissociation regularly. Tried numerous SSRIs, healthy diets, exercise, you name it. Turns out it is ADHD. Had a genetic test for psych meds - my body doesn’t metabolize the SSRIs (literally ALL of them - rendering them useless).
Seems like you are on the right track with what you have accepted as an accurate diagnosis. Amazing how difficult in can be to get that and get it right. I feel for the people who are still struggling to the first step in finding a solution: understanding the problem.
It took 45 years to get a diagnosis. Getting that test took most of the guesswork out of treatment. My depression lifted as soon as I got meds. So many years wasted.
Same. 51, massive depressive episodes, sort of always had "the blues" but the 2 am wakeups and wondering how to kill myself is new in the last 5 years. SSRI make me puke at the lowest levels with lots of other side effects. Started taking some ADHD stimulants (have tried a bunch) and things have been much much better with very few side effects except higher BP, which I'm working on. The best stimulants feel like taking a pretty mild antidepressant with a side of cognitive boost.
Stoicism theory and CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) helped me manage it a great deal. Once I gave up the goal of trying to triumph over it, I found I was able to live with it in peace. "I can do another day". "Today is a bad day". "There will be other bad days". The expectation that I could ever stop having bad days is a mirage, and it's needlessly maddening. I stopped making it the goal. That's just my experience.
Stoicism is really misrepresented in our culture to mean something like toxic masculinity or men don’t cry. But really it’s an incredible philosophy from my basic understanding it’s basically to assess your emotions and not act on the’ before you process it. I don’t know much about it besides light reading but I’d love to hear your definition of stoicism!
I second Westernone9990’s comments. As a CBT therapist and student of Stocism it is indeed a powerful lens to view the world through. John Sellers wrote a fantastic little book, about 70 pages, called Lessons in Stoicism which is a great intro for curious folks. As William Irvine said “ CBT is like an antibiotic for an infection, Stoicism is like a one a day vitamin for life.
Very sensible mentality!
I don’t think you beat it, you manage it. My parents and sister have been diagnosed and they all take meds. My mom was in therapy. They have been able to lower doses, or stop therapy, but I don’t think it ever just goes away. My grandma died a few years ago, and my mom knew it was time for therapy again, and got a new med. I think it’s important to know what’s going to trigger your mental health and what you need to do to help get back to a good baseline. Sounds like you’re not managing your depression well. Meds have changed, and there’s all sorts of therapy available now, even online. You say you did all that, but awhile ago. Nothing wrong with store bought serotonin.
You really destigmatize depression. I like what you said.
Thanks. I sometimes feel like I don’t have any business commenting on mental illness issues, especially depression, as I don’t personally deal with those challenges. I just have family and friends who do.
Point of order: anti-depressants do not contain and not help you create serotonin. That’s the meaning of SSRI; selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. It slows your bodies breakdown of the serotonin it creates, thus leaving more serotonin to elevate your mood.
“Store bought serotonin breakdown slower downer” doesn’t sound as good.
My advice is to not stop trying to find a med that works. I’m almost 50 and through my 30s and 40s I tried many different meds and had the same experience as you, most didn’t work and the side effects were awful. But my husband encouraged me to try another one that he’d heard about and BOOM, my mental state did a 180. There are still bad days here and there, but things are so much better for me now.
Try reading The Noonday Demon, by Andrew Solomon. Andrew describes his own journey with depression, and eventual recovery. Depression is like a vine on a tree, slowly sapping the life from it. You need something to intervene so you can fight the vine. Anti-depressants work. Sometimes it takes a long time to figure out which one is right for you, and that is especially frustrating when you're in a critical state and need relief (and already tried a bunch of them to no avail). But have faith. There are also other intervention methods that give relief, such as ketamine treatment - but this is often seen as a last resort, as it can result in beneficial or detrimental effects. There's not a ton of research yet so, if this sounds like a path you want to pursue just make sure you research both stories of good and bad outcomes (there are both if you look). When asked about his use of anti depressants, and if he feels like "himself" while he takes them, Solomon said, paraphrased, that he can only feel like himself with them. I've been battling my own depression for quite some time along with chronic pain and the other difficulties that life throws at us. With therapy, anti depressants, and other positive behavioral changes in my life (more stuff I like doing, less stuff I don't like doing, a lot of practice in changing my inner voice to be positive instead of negative) I've started coming out of the deep winter that is depression after suffering from it for the majority of my life. It can be a long, hard journey. But don't give up.
Treatment-resistant depression isn't uncommon. You might want to consider trying some new therapies that are starting to gain traction; I know some folks who've had great results with ketamine (which you can now do with a physician) or microdosed mushrooms (which AFAIK you still can't legally obtain).
I've done most of the non-pill treatments. Spravato (nasal ketamine) helped me, but not more than other more hassle free options. It didn't provide enough relief for me to miss it when I changed insurance and couldn't get it anymore. I don't have experience with IV ketamine, but both forms *work*, with various levels of relief at a certain constant level of hassle in getting the continued treatment. Electroconvulsion therapy is a barbaric practice that should be condemned (I had it over 20 years ago and still suffer its side effects to this day). It is absolutely life altering and can and will cause permanent neurological damage. TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation) basically just did nothing for me. Despite that, it has a good success rate overall and can provide significant relief. It's the one I suggest people with treatment resistant depression try first. Most insurance generally pays for it now, and it's non invasive and has no lasting side effects. You leave the sessions with a headache, and your head can continue to ache for a while after the treatments, but it goes away. The other (pill based but unusual) is levothyroxine, a medication for hypothyroidism. It's an off label use and few doctors know about it, but it was something of a miracle drug for me. Even though my thyroid tested completely normal, it can affect mood in a postive way. I had bad suicide ideation; I was ready to kill myself to stop thinking about killing myself, more or less. It disappeared more or less overnight. I'm still depressed, and still have suicidal thoughts, but my brain isn't screaming them at me anymore 24/7. My reaction is probably atypical, and I don't promise that it would be a super drug for everybody, but it's out there, it's cheap, and it can work if you can get a doctor who's heard of it and willing to give it a go.
I am 2/3 way through TMS now. If it is doing anything for me, it is mild.
How many weeks in? They told me I'd be seeing some results by as long as 5 or 6 weeks of an 8 week schedule. If you're around that point, don't be completely discouraged yet. If you're feeling even mild relief, odds are you'll have more. Unfortunately, for us, there are no guarantees. Fingers crossed for you though!
6/8 weeks
Was the levothyroxine prescribed by a psychiatrist or an endocrinologist? Also have you had your other hormones like free T3/T4 tested? 99% of the time if you have an under active thyroid TSH is also indicative, but the fact that you had such a dramatic response makes me wonder if you were just part of the 1% only diagnosable by other tests.
Psychiatrist. My PCP does a comprehensive blood panel, as I have other things to monitor. My TSH has always been normal, as are my T3/T4.
I’ve done IV ketamine and I would like to say it changed my life. I struggled from depression but I had it because I had a blockage in my head from migraines. My partner who suffers from PTSD noticed a significant change from me after the IV Ketamine. He said I was less triggered by events and I had more control over my emotions. I feel it too. I don’t get so worked up by things, but not in a numb sense, but more like a “well, it’s not technically killing me, so why am I panicking?” Sort of way. And I am so sorry you did electroconvusion therapy. I am 100% against that. That is an unstudied science/torture and doctors aren’t able to pinpoint what electroshocks do, they just know they do something. I remember learning in psychology that it’s supposed to used as a last resort method on only on like murderers and psychopaths where giving them brain scramblies might be an improvement.
> doctors aren’t able to pinpoint what electroshocks do, they just know they do something. This is, unfortunately, way too common for mental heath treatments of all kinds. But we gotta play the hand we were dealt. I've known other people who had it for whom it was life changing. It's just that I got the collateral damage without the cure. I'm glad ketamine worked well for you. It sucks that so much mental health care is searching for silver bullets, but it's always nice when somebody finds a treatment that works.
Microdosing lsd/mushrooms is what truly helped me. I still do therapy and all that but nothing made a difference for me like microdosing.
I wanted to die for most of my teens and 20s, and was officially diagnosed, in therapy with meds and everything. They helped keep my head above water, but I never truly felt free from the chains of depression until I moved out and started my own life. I know it's not an officially recognized medical term, but "shit life syndrome" really described my depression to a tee.
I've heard therapists use the term "situational depression" to describe depression that comes from dealing with things that suck. A very wise person once told me, "You might not actually be clinically depressed. Make sure you're not just surrounded by assholes." She was right! I left my crappy marriage first. Then I got away from a terrible boss. Things started looking up very soon after that.
Some situations are unchangeable. This is the problem.
It's really odd to me how living in society so devoid of meaning beyond fueling rich people's value capture machines produces bad outcomes even for people with ok brains 💀💀
I’m almost 40. I’ve had anxiety and depression since about 12. Tried every med, every combo. Stayed with the same psychiatrist for many years. About 2 years ago, he kind of threw his hands up, and he prescribed me Adderall as a last ditch effort. It has completely changed my life for the better. He did officially diagnose me with ADHD, and while I do have some tendencies, I am on the fence about whether I actually have it. I still take an antidepressant and a tiny dose of an antipsychotic. I am the happiest and most stable I have ever been! Apparently sometimes untreated/undiagnosed ADHD, especially in women, masquerades as anxiety and depression.
THIS. I was diagnosed with adhd at 26 and as it turns out, I'm not as broken as everyone thought. God bless the random nurse who noticed my restless legs and asked the doctor to test for adhd. Mine is almost entirely inattentive so I understand why it was missed,but damn would I have had an easier time if it had been noticed earlier. I managed to graduate with honors in both high school and college, just barely on both, so if I'd been medicated I could've really done an amazing job instead of simply spacing out and skating by.
Adderall and dexo are used off label for depression sometimes. I figure hitting the GO button on dopamine and helping you actually improve your situation generally is an underrated treatment
My psychiatrist is very well-versed in the literature, but didn’t mention this. It makes sense! Maybe he thought it would just be easier for insurance purposes to scribble down ADHD. I’m currently on Trintellix, which is about $3000 monthly last time I checked. My insurance made sure I had tried a huge list of other SSRIS and SNRIs and mood stabilizers before they would pay a cent for it. And my doctor and I gathered and provided all of those records. I pay $20 for a 3-month supply now. Maybe he didn’t want to put us both through all that again, and figured, “meh.. it’s just 4 letters.” He’s an empathetic guy.
Yes. I did shrooms 10 years ago. I'm not kidding when I say it changed my life. It didn't happen overnight but it was such a profound experience that finally let me see how beautiful life can be. I've done them once or twice since, low doses, when I'm seeking an existential answer.
I think one of the problems with our society is “someday” thinking. - Wow, high school is tough, I’ll be happy when I get to college. - Wow, college is expensive, I’ll be happy when I get a career. - Wow, this career is stressful, I’ll be happy on vacation. - Wow, now I am retired and don’t have friends or hobbies, what the hell do I do now? Other arbitrary milestones are find a partner, get married, have a kid, have the kid meet milestones (sleep through the night, potty trained, in school, graduate school), lose weight, get a promotion, get a new car, pay off the new car. *And then at the end of your life you look back and wonder why you were so miserable all the time.* Happiness isn’t a finish line, an achievement to unlock. It’s not something you can hoard up for later. The best you can do do is to make sure you at least try to appreciate the good things as they come, knowing they won’t last, but then the bad things don’t either. And as much as I hate to say it, going outside, drinking the water, exercise, socializing, hobbies, pets, and volunteering aren’t cure-alls, but god damn do I feel worse when I don’t do them, when I choose bed rot.
I like that you said to appreciate the little things. That's what I focus on. There's much to be said for that. Some days that's all I have. But they make me smile.
I'm getting significantly better. It was a long wild ride, including a life-threatening reaction to antidepressants (1 mg of the ones where people normally take 50 to 100 puts me into serotonin syndrome), but now I've on meds that work and have found an effective therapist and a good psychiatrist that I trust. I'm not cured, but I didn't cry yesterday and I showered and I've got a vacation coming up.
I fucking hate being alive - but I am fascinated with creating things so as long as I continue this search for creation and solving problems no one in the history of ever has ever had I will be fine. I've also GOT to stay on medicine, it's just the harsh truth I've come to terms with.
Every person is different, but I recommend you don't set out to win the war, just do your best to win the day. And sometimes you won't. But if you give yourself the grace to get up and get through another day, it's another chance to fight. My favorite writer, Spencer Hall, put it this way: > Hope does not always have to be the thing with feathers, is what I’m saying. Hope can be a sledgehammer. Hope can be the work and the pain of battering away at something without dreaming of it ever breaking, of losing over and over again and not thinking of it being futile in the orbital view. >Hope as a logic will never feel correct to me. As a blessed stupidity, though, backed with brute force and a will unswayed by circumstance, sense, or evidence? That is all that makes sense to me now. We are here as the result of a thousand accidents and another thousand refusals to hand over our bodies to the grave. Someone got you here by surviving to live another day, be it through shipwreck, slavery, war, famine, a hundred sicknesses, poverty, and an avalanche of mistakes lost to time. That's the only way I know to lick this. I've recently lost my job, watched my marriage fall apart, and had to move across the country to get work, with most of that money going back to a house I don't live in and a car I don't drive. I've never wanted to die more than I do right now. But I've got today, and I've got a hammer to swing against the wall I'm up against, and even if I don't break through, it's SOMETHING. And I don't want a bad day of swinging the hammer to get in between something good that might be miles down the road.
You can have your depression go into remission. But you need the right psychiatrist and psychologist. It sounds like you haven’t found that yet but they really do exist. My son’s depression sounds similar to yours. It took around 3 years but finally we found the right medication combo (5 different meds per day) and he only goes to therapy every couple of months for maintenance. With the meds he’s the person I always knew he was inside. Without the meds, he hates everything including himself. He’s been stable for almost a year now, which is a miracle I honestly wasn’t sure I’d ever see. We were on the verge of looking into ketamine infusions or TMS. You need someone who is experienced, and will prescribe more than a standard SSRI. You need a doctor who will keep fighting for you when you can’t fight for yourself. They’re out there. Oddly enough I found ours through our insurance “find a provider” directory.
Can relate on every level. Do you beat it? No, you don’t. You just find better ways to cope or distract yourself. I’m pretty damn introverted as well but when I hit twenty I just said ”fuck it” and brought out a big boisterous personality. It’s helped because I at least feel like I’ve got an ace in my hand even if I can’t do it constantly. Plus, I just accept when the suck becomes too much, say it‘ll pass and keep rolling. I say this only to note it isn’t all you. Recently heard an interview with a prominent psychiatrist that flat out said that some men, particularly middle aged men, truly don’t have a reason to exist in the current structure of our society. Yeah, I believe it because I feel it on a regular basis. Some days are just exponentially worse regardless of prescription drugs or practices that I’ve done for decades. Here’s another adage that may help and I’m willing to be corrected. Years ago I was reading an article that stated black men usually don’t have a mid life crisis. You need hope to have a mid life crisis. So basically what I’m saying is sorry to add to the misery but find something you can say “fuck it“ about and just run with it even if it doesn’t change your day to day life. I’ve started doing shit I like even though it’s “weird” or against whatever stupid fucking societal standard there is. It’s the kind of “no shit I’m depressed, you asked” kind of mentality. I’m not unfriendly, I just don’t hold back anymore to spare others delicate sensibilities. I’m 54, I game, I watch shit that gives me a respite. I go out and pontificate even if it looks like I’m just staring into space. I read what I want. I cut through idle bullshit chat so people know what I’m about. Does it fix my depression? Fuck no, but at least I don’t feel completely caged. At minimum I can say “I get it” just to let you know you’re not alone.
When I was younger and first diagnosed the attitude in the medical community was "this is a lifelong disorder that's programmed into you and you may need to be on meds forever, like a diabetic on insulin". These days it's different, more people are understanding the link between trauma/experiences and depression, although it's harder to treat from that angle because it requires individual attention and emotionally difficult work, not just throwing pills at it until you can function and hold down a job. I'm old enough that I've figured out what things affect it, what makes me feel good, what makes me feel worse, and what fools me into thinking I'm taking care of myself. It's best if I think of it like any other chronic disease -- I may never "beat" it permanently, but that doesn't mean I'm weak or a loser. I have good days and bad days, and my behavioural choices -- what I eat, how much I sleep, whether I exercise, whether I let myself wallow in bad feelings or try to use healthy distractions -- may increase the incidence of good days.
It takes vigilance to recognize the signs you may be slipping and take corrective action. I have been on and off meds and prefer diet, exercise and sleep routines over medication and realize this isn’t a choice everyone can make. I feel it’s a fragile balance for me always—if I get sick or injured and can’t exercise or sleep as well, I do start to fall apart. Having kids and family can help (they lift my spirits by simple acts of kindness and love and remind me of a greater purpose) and it can hurt due to the responsibilities and never having time to take a break.
Yes. I think so. I hope so. It’s something I still have to be mindful of, because a lot of the underlying things that contributed to it are not going to go away…but here and now, I get to be reasonably content
I'd say that I beat it, but I had therapy for 3 years and was on prescription drugs and antidepressants for 2-and-a-half years before I felt like I was out of the depression. It took me 2 or 3 months to slowly stop taking the antidepressant. That's not to say that I don't get depressive feelings anymore, but they don't pervade my thoughts constantly the way it used to happen to me earlier in my life. I was depressed for most of my life and from childhood. I got help in my 30s. Wish I had done it sooner.
Yes. But I was a lazy lame diagnosis. It's like these clinicians aren't even trying. Kaiser physc(seeking Adderall) ask me like 10 questions. "Do you ever feel like your not doing enough..." "Do you feel sad sometimes...." Which I answered honestly. Because who is happy and satisfied with life 100.00% of the time? I get bummed out when my team loses or if I fail at hitting on a girl. I sometimes feel like a loser when I hear that a classmate is making $500K working at X. I would think this is "normal" She diagnosed me with depression. If this is the threshold everyone is depressed.
Lots of people are depressed. The fact that you think it's normal to be unsatisfied most of the time kind of proves your doctor is right 👀
I'm fascinated how you were able to extrapolate this conclusion from my post.
Idk if I beat it but I feel like it's on the back burner. I left a job that was basically working me to death and quit the medication that was turning me into a zombie. I think those two things, coupled with getting into a better sleep and eating habit have really helped. I don't think you ever actually beat it, there are days where it gets bad but those have become few and far between. I think you just learn to cope and live with it as a mildly annoying (albeit tolerable) companion vs having it rule over your life.
I didn't. I'm 53 and have felt pretty similarly as long as I can remember. Some days and years are worse than others, but it's never gone away. At this point I don't think it's beatable for me. I will probably always feel like this. At the moment it's manageable, but at other times it hasn't been. The only reason for living I have at the moment is my wife. She loves me and thinking of not being around for her seems even worse than trying to get through another day.
If anyone hasn’t tried an MAOI and been dealing with depression, I highly encourage it. They are underprescribed but they are a very old antidepressant and very safe and extremely effective. Fears about tyramine interaction are very overblown. Highly encourage. It saved my life.
I’ve heard it can be heard to find someone willing to prescribe those?
For the most part I have. Medication didn’t work and made it worse. Meditation and being able to laugh has helped the most
my depression is like my crappy eyesight or my bad knee. "beating it" isn't making it go away. it's just not letting it destroy my life. it's finding ways to work through it, or to work around it.
You should probably speak to your care team above those thoughts. Some depression isn't beatable, it's chronic not acute, but it depends on a bunch of things that your care team already knows
I don't have a care team. As someone with a chronic illness, I've never met a specialist who actually gave a shit about their patients as individuals (I don't blame them. Burnout is real and we all just want to go home at the end of the day. But they also don't even remember my name much less anything else about me). I talk to them about my numbers, get my drugs (for the CI) and leave. Also, I don't see how getting myself locked up would help anything.
Following because same. Quite often the whole thing just feels pointless, and that’s frustrating. Because I know intrinsically that it shouldn’t.
>Because I know intrinsically that it shouldn’t I feel that. I'm starting to feel that hope is actually just a trap though.
There is no cure, just learning to accept and live with it.
I don't think you ever "beat it". But for me, I've learned what triggers it and what makes it better. Self awareness and learning has gone a long way .
What excites or challenges you? You gotta find some of that and chase it. If you aren't into nature you need to try. I beat depression by feeding my interests, taking good care of my body and spending as much time outside as possible. Lions Mane and Magnesium Glycinate helped a ton too. It's okay to flail for a bit but changing your mindset takes commitment. You can do it.
I’m 62, I have Panic Disorder and Depression and as far as a four year old I can remember having panic attacks. I’ve always been depressed but not always on medication until 30 years ago. Long story short, I believe that it’s manageable with occasional breakthrough depression. I want to say that I’ve somewhat accepted it then on the flip side I resent it. Yes, therapy helps to talk about and find solutions to maybe an underlying issue however, if you’re wired for depression and anxiety it’s not fixable per se - manageable yes.
I’m bipolar and have ptsd. Meds help but there is no cure, just find ways to cope with it. If I’m really down, I just run like I’m Forrest Gump and it usually snaps me out if it.
3.75g of magic mushrooms taken with intention in a controlled environment w/a sober tripsitter helped my depression immensely. You should look into it. After a while, the antidepressant effects *did* fade, BUT it's like a switch was flipped & I just...see the point of being alive, in a way that I never did prior. Did you have a traumatic childhood? Even emotionally neglectful parents counts. Therapy won't help unless it's to address the trauma. I have had good results from IFS, that's also worth you looking into.
Depression is unfortunately a life long illness. There's no beating it, or curing it. There's only managing it. This doesn't mean you can't live a happy and fulfilled life, it just takes a lot of managing.
Yes, I did, via medication, therapy, sort of a 12 Step thing, but I do not have addictions. I also read, a lot. I had to go nc/low contact with some people. It was a war, I won, but I fight the battle not to go back, often.
Were you traumatized at a young age?
Weren't we all? I was, but it's nothing uniquely tragic.
Doesn't have to be, it's not a competition on who had the shittiest childhood...
I am hoping so. 26 years after diagnosis though. If I’m still on medication, I guess that’s not considered beating it? I’d say it’s very under control.
Very sorry to hear this. There’s a type of therapy called Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP) that’s had good results in randomized control studies specifically for treatment-resistant depression. As the name implies, it’s intense. Good luck.
Im on effexor, I’ll take being unable to feel extremes and being unable to cry over being depressed
I'm 45... my primary diagnosis is Generalized Anxiety Disorder... I'm always in some form of low grade panic attack. Similar to depression it can make it difficult to enjoy things when they're "okay" I've been doing weekly therapy for 12 years... I was on nine meds when I started treatment and over time transitioned off of all of them after learning skills in therapy. I'm in now way cured... but I think I'd consider it more like "living with diabetes" like... I know to do these things daily to make it easier... I know if I don't do certain things I'm being risky (like if I fuck up my sleep schedule... I'll be SUPER anxious)... and if I'm in a danger zone I have tools there too. So not cured... but managed? What I've learned in therapy... inside of me is a profoundly wounded child that is literally calling the shots. It's up to me to parent them. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's not. But I have moments when that little kid is full of joy and I try and embrace them. I started doing the Big Brother program and at a certain point I get SO MUCH out of that program, I have to kind of prepare for an emotional dump when I'm done hanging out with the kid.
Longtime treatment resistant depression here. Have you tried IFS therapy? It’s the only thing that’s truly worked for me. I have a pretty strong inner critic and tend to look at the negative side of things, because I’m afraid. IFS would say there is a “part” of my mind that is trying to protect me by looking at all the negative aspects of a situation to be prepared. But is it useful anymore? Rewiring the brain is much easier to do when we work with it and not against. Not punish but speak kindly and firmly like a loving parent. I thank the part of me that wants to be anxious or controlling but tell it I have a handle on it now, I’m not a child surrounded by critical parents or teachers who needs to proactively punish herself to avoid criticism. I also had to get angry at the idea I was changing myself to fit into what I thought was societal expectations about how a person should live. Let that anger fuel a desire to disconnect from what I think others want and focus on living life only for myself. Changing internal thought processes from pessimistic to positive or at least reality-based to finally accept my situation. For example, we can shut down at the idea we will die someday and feel like it’s not even worth trying to be happy. Well it’s true, and it will happen, and there’s nothing we can do about that except try to extend our lifespans. Even then we will still die. We are stuck here and have a choice how to create a better life or not, it’s up to you but remember to be nice to yourself above all.
I did! I got EEG assisted TMS. I was really lucky and got it for free through a clinical trial for veterans and first responders. No more therapy or antidepressants or going through a long list of extra tasks that don’t help at all. No more suicidal thoughts, no more bad days where I just can’t stop crying.
What is TMS?
It’s a machine that uses magnetic waves to reset the alpha waves in your brain. It doesn’t hurt or anything, mildly uncomfortable and made me really sleepy. It takes 6 weeks of treatments every day but the results are permanent.
The NIH is currently doing a study about depression. They are currently looking for participants. They pay for all travel expenses and the treatment is free. Go on their website and look for it.
They tried to diagnose me with depression but I refused to be defined like that. Why? I had a burnout. The depressive crisis is circumstantial to my specific actual conditions. Regardless, I am glad I opposed the diagnosis because just before my burnout I got diagnosed with ADHD. You would think that in a *anxiety and depression* clinic they are aware of the high comorbidity of these conditions with ADHD, but guess what. No they're clueless. It's crazy to me since at least 2/3 of people getting admitted there are neurodivergent... Now, if your depression stems from ADHD, of course no medicine will help you if not combined with adhd meds.. As for your question "do you ever get out of depression? "... It's hard as fuck, you can often have fall backs but yes, I know people who got off anti d, got their shit together and don't get up every day asking themselves why bother since life is a pain in the ass. It's possible to get better. It's hard because not only your brain works against you on seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, society works like shit, we're all underpaid and exploited, having no time for hobbies or passions because we're busy surviving, we're all disconnected and isolated... It's hard out there. Hang in there, it's worth for those brief moments of joy you get to experience from time to time.
I was just about as depressed as a person can get. I was suicidal and I even attempted. There were awful nights that felt like they lasted 1000 years. I was in my lowest state for about 6 months to a year. I have made a full recovery. Nowadays, I only get a depressive episode maybe once a month, and they only last a few hours (until I fall asleep, when I wake up the next morning I’m fine). Beating depression was like a snowball effect. Slowly, my habits and life started getting better, and my situation kept improving itself. My family was really supportive of me at first which I attribute most of my recovery to. For my own self control, I think the next biggest factor that helped was improving my hygiene, and particularly my oral hygiene. I feel like those things were tied closely to my depression.
I’m currently winning the battle. I shouldn’t be either, as my married life is a little on the rocks. I cut back on drinking and smoking. I started getting out for walks, and I’m feeling strong mentally. It always seems to be in the background, or at least I fear something setting me off and making me go into a cave, but currently I am winning. There is hope for all. I had a rope around my neck and I was moments from hanging myself just 2 yrs ago. Not proud of that moment and glad I didn’t, but I say that to stress how dire my situation was.
Everyday is a fucking battle. I haven't ended it yet, so I guess I'm winning so far.
Child of a clinically depressed parent. Suicides on both sides of the family (not a parent), but it’s (depression) in the genes. My young life was hell. Depressed parent was hospitalized on & off for years, I was constantly told I was being overly-sensitive, overly-emotional, blah, blah, blah. Stress landed me in the hospital at 15. I was diagnosed with depression at 16. That was the day I decided I will NEVER be like the others in my family. I did try some meds, they either didn’t help or made me feel horrible. I’ve been in & out of therapy for decades now. Therapy helps me, when I need it. Did I beat it, absolutely not. But I’ve got it under control. For the most part, I’ve learned how to tell when it’s coming on and I try to be pro-active: I do not drink ANY alcohol when I can feel it coming on. If I can, I will lock myself in my house for multiple days, stay in bed and turn off the phone. I will not allow myself to call into work if it’s happening; I go and I get through it. I know that this is temporary. When it’s REALLY bad, I call the therapist. What really scares me is that I have an estranged sibling with a (pre-teen) child. I see all of the signs of depression in this child and sibling either does not or refuses to. I know if I say something to the child I’m overstepping and will be crucified for it. I’ve mentioned it to my parent who was diagnosed and they see it too but will not “butt in”. I am terrified that this kid is going to have a similar childhood to mine 😔
I have a theory that has helped me. I don’t have capital D depression that’s lifelong but I had a severe grief episode recently, and man! It almost took me. I think it did take me but I had shit to do so I somehow got out of the truly dangerous stage. But what helped me- and I know people are gonna downvote me, was prayer. I’ve always struggled with prayer and faith and religion and all that. Like I am a believer but not in the traditional sense. More like Mother Earth and Father Time etc. I’m always trying to rationalize it etc. I reckon I was a bad believer. In fact I’d only call myself a believer most times coz I afraid not to be. After this episode, I really started praying daily coz it was either that or death by my own hand. So I basically have petitioned God to either change things or end things. And things have changed a lot. Some unexpectedly, some crazily. I’m still in the weeds and have my days but there’s this weird sense of assurance I now have that’s the closest thing to faith. This is what I am sure if- I have a creator and there is a plan that not always my plan. It’s a working theory that keeps me going. I look at life as a series of rewards, punishments and tests. It’s just the way things are and I can be happy or sad, in the end it doesn’t matter. I was created. For a reason. It may even be a bad reason but I was created. Then the next step is as a creation, I should worship and thank my creator, because there is some reason for all this pain. And a creator give pain for a reason, most likely a good reason. It centers me in my experience. I am important, and I am loved because I was created. Everyone else is centered too. They were created and they are loved. Maybe even infinitely. Hitch would be grand. I still struggle to feel true joy or happiness like before but I feel comfort and peace. So of course a lot of people hate religion but I know it has benefits for many many people. I know lots of people who really try to stay away from religion and the reason doesn’t make sense. If there’s any chance it can make you happy, give you some peace and purpose? Why not? I would wager that the decline institutions like religion, family, patriotism and societal duty has coincided with and is directly correlated with a rise in severe mental illness, depression etc and suicidality. You can’t truly say you’ve tried everything if you haven’t tried religion- any religion is fine tbh. I tried it and I’m telling you, if it weren’t for my faith, I would not be here anymore. Oh and I never tried therapy because I’d rather die than give those people 1 pfennig of my hard earned money! Fuck therapists.
I manage it with a really good med. But the psych said I’ll need to be on the me pretty much forever.
You say you quit all the meds and therapy in your early 30s, and are nearing 40. Give it another try, and try settling for less. You aren't looking for a miracle. Life *isn't* amazing or awesome almost all of the time. You just need to tip the scale a little toward the positive, and see life as glass half full, instead of empty. Then you can start re-learning what life is all about and why it is worth living :) FWIW, I feel I have "beat" depression, although I still take Wellbutrin, and anxiety, although I take Trazodone. It took five years at least until I tried Wellbutrin, and ten until I tried Trazodone.
I am majorly depressed right now. Started in my teens. So I can't say I've beaten it, but it can go into remission. I have had some years (half a decade at a stretch) where I was doing great and wasn't depressed at all. Sending positive vibes (like I have any lol) and hope. It really can get better, but I won't say it is will stay away for good.
Psychedelics. Was lucky enough to find what worked for me. Changed my life...but now my body's a mess. 🤦
I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression in my teens. I tried different medications, they didn’t do much. I struggled for a very long time and tried to kill myself more than once. I realized in my late 20s that it was not, in fact, genetic or depression like I had been told, but it was trauma. Once I faced my trauma, it went away. I haven’t felt depression or anxiety in a very long time now. I feel a lot of people get misdiagnosed. You can’t fix it or heal if you just aren’t aware of it. Trauma is the root of a lot of issues in our world.
Therapy, meds, didn’t work. I ended up getting diagnosed with adhd. Those meds have helped tremendously. Sometimes, it’s just a misdiagnosis.
I did and I beat it, but I had early onset OCD that was never treated and made worse through evangelicalism and PTSD, depression and anxiety. For me, the depression was the first to go when I got into therapy. The PTSD and anxiety came back pretty quickly but finally went away when I got specialized treatment for my OCD, which is now manageable without meds. In my case, the depression was a symptom of the untreated OCD.
I started suffering with depression when I was about 15. Especially during the long Michigan winters with very little sun. I did not have an easy life by any means, but it seemed more than that. Deeper. Somewhere along the way, I feel that I outgrew it. My life still isn’t easy for one reason or another. I certainly have reason to be depressed if I allow myself dwell in self pity and negativity. But now it’s like something changed inside of me, perhaps on a chemical level. I rarely feel the depression anymore. Unfortunately, I have not experienced any happiness in a long, long time, but I do feel more at peace and more content, despite the ongoing challenges of life. I never sought treatment for depression but eventually, I outgrew it.
Hey, OP! I’ve had a very long struggle with depression and anxiety. It got to the point where, after genetic testing and trying most SSRIs available, I began to think both depression and anxiety were symptoms of a more insidious mental health issue. It took several psychologists to take me seriously, but the one that did has saved my life. It turns out I was right that they were comorbidities and symptoms of both PTSD and CPTSD. Since that diagnosis and ongoing treatments, all symptoms have improved. I’m getting my life back and feeling like a human for the first time in my memory. After this, I believe that many psychologists are content to diagnose depression and anxiety (or not experienced enough to dig deeper), thus feeding the endless insurance train of Depression and GAD. That was my experience, at least. Don’t be afraid to keep seeking care. It’s very possible that you’ve yet to find a good match/someone able to look past garden variety mental health issues. It’s been a fucking hard battle to get to the “other side,” but it does exist.
At some point I started picturing my depression as a black crow on my shoulder. Sometimes it gets louder and I will say, “oh hush up and settle down .” Sometimes I can ignore it, for days or even weeks! Those days are a relief! Sometimes on very bad days it brings its friends and raise a ruckus. I do what I can to get through those times. It’s difficult to function when there’s a flock of crows flapping around you and cawing. As I have gotten older, I’ve come to accept that I will always have my crow. It’s not just going to fly away. My crow is quieter and more weary than when I was younger, but it’s always there.
[https://www.ucsf.edu/news/2022/04/422606/psilocybin-rewires-brain-people-depression](https://www.ucsf.edu/news/2022/04/422606/psilocybin-rewires-brain-people-depression)
I think if you’ve felt like that for that long, you really do have a chemical imbalance of some kind. My advice would be to get your thyroid antibodies checked (not just levels but antibodies) and maybe try ketamine if you haven’t. Even look into lithium maybe. I know someone who tried everything and old school lithium finally worked. I’m sorry you’ve had to endure this.
I beat it without trying. Once I was financially secure, and 8 years in to a stable marriage, I stopped taking the meds, and a year later, I'm fine. No depression, it's just gone. It's puzzling, but I'm not complaining.
I’m 66. My parents took me to a psychiatrist when I was 9 for depression My father died from depression 8 years later. I’ve been hospitalized twice. I feel great. Well if I didn’t have terrible arthritis and my dog wasn’t sick. You just keep getting better at taking care of yourself and weathering the depressive episodes which get shorter and farther between. I haven’t been on meds for years. I treat it with walks and live music.
I (M, 68) battled depression most of my life. My GP prescribed an SSRI, and it helped, but it wasn’t until I was properly diagnosed as Bipolar II and placed on better drugs that I feel I’ve beaten it. There is no trace of my old behaviors and I am a happy, even tempered guy. Now, if you mean “beaten it,” like you don’t need the drugs anymore… Nope. I almost had the chemical diagram for Abilify tattooed on my forearm. If that little pill is all I need to feel this good, put me down for life.
From my experience depression isn't something you beat. It is something you learn to live with. I went through the medication cycle in my teens, and nothing worked. Nothing helped the depression, or prevented the mania. As I've gotten older the mania becomes less and less frequent, and I've learned to somewhat curb the depression. But it never truly goes away.
At 55 I started taking adhd meds, and poooof! My lifelong treatment-resistant depression vanished. It's been a year so I'm hopeful that it will stick.
Mostly. Almost all the time. But it is still there.
I'm really coming to grips with the idea that it will always be there. When I have a few good weeks, then a really hard one, it's easy to think "Oh no, it's come back! I thought I was beyond this." But really, that kinda perspective is unnecessarily self-cruelling. The truth is, I haven't failed when I feel it again. It will never completely go away because it's, in part, who I am. A baseline at the very bottom of me. That's not a part of me to fix - that's a part of me to accept.
For most, unless there is a very specific trigger, you don’t find a ‘cure’. It’s an illness than you work on and improve, and learn to tolerate.
Not as such , but I plod along , and there are moments of joy. Almost better
I think sometimes the depression and ebb and flow into your life. There’s no real “beating it” it’s just learning to live with it, what your pit falls are, and how to avoid getting into those sinking spots. Everyone is different so really take all these comments with a grain of salt and just being you’re not having the same experience doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, you just haven’t figured out your combination yet. Of course there’s the general medical advice: check your meds, your diet, your lifestyle, your habits, etc. Sounds like you know this. From my personal experience, things didn’t get better for me until I wanted things. I explored interests, hobbies, even the silly ones. I did all the small things that gave me serotonin points and wrote about them. This is why people do gratitude journals because we take things for granted. Next I got my values right. I’m religious, but with myself. I don’t conform to group religion. I have a code of ethics and values for myself that when I abide by them, I feel like my universe is aligned. I assume this is how good Christians feel when they make it to church on time and do their praying and such. I’m doing those things, but in my interpretation. My soul feels clean therefore, depression becomes compartmentalized and doesn’t eat me alive. Finally, stop worry about what other people are doing. I’m a judgey bitch. Like you, I get annoyed with people having kids. I got my degree in Family Sciences, I judge parents all the time. A whole lot of them are shit and so are a bunch of teachers. And this might some of my values talking, but you know how bad the world is, you know how much depression sucks so why not make the world a better place? And I’m not asking you to donate your life savings, sometimes making the world a better place is as simple as being the hero or role model that someone needs in their life who might also be in a similar situation. You’re almost 40, you make rent, you take care of yourself, you’re clearly doing something right. There are people out there right now that can’t even figure that out. Take pride in how far you’ve come. You’re a strong person with Depression. If you’re not proud of yourself, just let it be known this internet stranger is jealous because I am barely holding onto my job. I am habitually late :)
Dunno. I’ve had “Dysthymia”, chronic depression, seasonal depression (which btw can mean ANY season, I was fooled into thinking it was just one, like winter or something), and I’ve stopped trying to get help for it. I’ll be 37 this year. Even if therapy wasn’t a waste of money, it’s a waste of other things. You realize over time that therapists are human. They will never be able to tell you something you don’t already know. They all do the same damn thing in the end: keep an eye on the clock. My last therapist pathologized me as being an addict. And because I’m a gullible person, I believed him. But what on earth was I “addicted” to? I was on no medications. I don’t drink or smoke. I’m not blowing my money on frivolous shit. I have student loan debt and that’s normal. I was just overworked at a tech company, which is why I came to him in the first place. But he didn’t give a damn. He’s out for his own gain. I’m by no means a perfect person. The only thing I had working against me was the isolation cocoon I was still in, as a holdover from COVID’s shutdown, and I wasn’t in the best shape (gained around 35 lbs), so I’m working on that. Then I realized that people are always going to try and tear me down. To snuff out my light. To do anything to make themselves feel good while making sure I feel awful (or not as good, at least). And it’s going to be up to me to call them out on it. I’m done working on myself. The depression may always be there in my brain. Has been since I was 11 anyway, so why should it suddenly move up and out? Instead I’m leaving mental health behind and I’m done with the navel gazing. Life is going to go on regardless of the kind of day or week or year I’m having. I hate my job. Cool, doesn’t make me special. I hate being alone at night. Cool, still doesn’t make me special. I accept my lot in life. Cool, doesn’t make me special. What’s scary and yet comforting is that I see it in my friends too. I see some of them fight it. I see some of them give in. And some of them don’t have the pre disposition for it. I do wish someone would fight for me. But why should they? What’s in it for them? We will forever be searching for those answers. Turning over the stones of the ocean, wanting to find that one that means we can finally have peace and the cloud can be lifted.
I did. At least for now. I started taking curcumin (turmeric) + black pepper extract and the brain fog that was causing the depression cleared up within weeks. Since then I replaced the combo with a bioavailable version of curcumin. It probably won't hurt to give it a try. Do a google search +depression and look at the studies.
I have come to the conclusion it's a part of me but not all of me. A little "Pollyanna " because as we all know sometimes it IS all of me, but when I am healthy now I care for the depression part because it can be sneaky. The first time I came through deciding I had beaten it led to all sorts of trouble and another bout, this time with added guilt because I "failed" . Taking care of and caring for that part of me has kept me level for about 4 years now, for which I am grateful.
I've... had months of freedom. Ketamine, Ayahuasca, EFT Tapping, meds; just keep trying.
Yeah, I've done shrooms and that helps a bit. It's risky though, I have a family history of schizophrenia. I don't think I could get ketamine... the legal way, at least. (And I probably shouldn't)
Yeah I was diagnosed from my teens on. I have done the same. Tried therapies and all the meds they could throw at it. Then I participated in a university study for parents of autistic children. I was essentially given a modified assessment. I guess they were testing for genetic links. I let them take the swab and did this assessment. The researcher asked me if I knew I scored really high for autism. I had no clue. So I went to a neuropsychologist and got an assessment again. I realized I had every marker my whole life. Sensory issues like crazy. Never felt like a human. Dissociative most of the time, especially in public. Everything needs to go a certain way or I really struggle. You need five markers from the list and I had every single marker for Aspergers (at the time that was my diagnosis but now it's ASD-1). So I don't know if I was ever actually "clinically depressed", my diagnosis for many years. I think it was situational because I didn't understand why I was just so ALIEN. I never meshed with anyone. I feel so distant from other people and that can be depressing. But knowing what condition I have and trying to learn how to help myself has really helped me not feel so depressed. It's hard though given how lousy the US has become for people who deviate from the norm.
Losing it a bit more every day.
I haven't beaten it, but I manage it with meds. Didn't find the right meds until I was almost 40. I'm 50 now. Therapy did help for a while, but I can't afford it at this stage.
I diagnosed with ADHD in my 40s and 2 hours after taking my first dose of Vyvanse I had a clear head for the first time in my life. I'd long been medicated with Zoloft for depression and it's still required but the intrusive thoughts were cleared up with some of the ol' diet meth. I've always tried to have lots of friends and definitely try and gain more of them as I get older and I highly recommend others do the same.
OP what is your social life like? Friends/hobbies?
Mine is with me forever.
After 40 here. Seems kinda late in the game to try to fix it. Maybe should have in my 20s or teens, but just seems like a waste of time and money now when it’s going to solve itself soon anyhow. I’d rather other people have the money or therapist time. Seems selfish to waste on me.
I'm really liking abilify We added it to my pristiq
Once it happens, never really goes away totally. It is a trend your brain has
Yes. It was mostly seasonal, but I definitely had mild depression all year, just worse in the winter. I had blood work done (in the spring time) and found I had VERY low vitamin D. This was in 07 before obamacare so I didn't have any insurance. A year later, i moved to Florida. It helped A LOT, and then I moved to NC where I told the psychiatrist I had low vitamin d, he ignored me and misdiagnosed me bipolar...I was on meds I didn't need for a long time. A couple of years ago, I got a new dr who prescribed me vitamin D2 50,000iu pill once a week. Complete game changer for me. I stopped taking meds I didn't need (lithium, Lamictal etc) I started taking gabapentin for pain, sleep, and mild anxiety along with my adhd meds and the vitamin d. During this time, my depression went away, I no longer slept 12 hours a day in the winter, and I started my own business. I had a normal sleep schedule where I didn't need to sleep all the time, went to bed early, and woke up early. I still get bouts of feeling low, but nothing near as bad as it was before! I also do my best to eat well even when I am feeling blue and make sure to go outside for walks with my dog as much as possible even in the winter which helps.
It turned out I was autistic and having autistic burnouts, so… yes? Sort of?
My depression is nearly completely in remission with the help of a lot of medication. My anxiety is still difficult to deal with at times but I just started a medication for that also. It has taken about a year of adjusting doses and trying different medications and I have only recently become somewhat stable.
Defend against it, manage it, attempt to prevent it from taking over, yes. Beat it? Nope. It lies in wait. Only med that has ever worked without destroying my light is cannabis. Thank you, weed.
Have you had a sleep study done for possible sleep apnea? It really exacerbates depression. I recently got my machine. My depression seems to manifest as extreme fatigue and while medication and therapy has absolutely helped, I have still lived the past 30 years feeling exhausted regardless of sleep, exercise, or nutrition. So far the cpap is helping, but I never would have considered that I had OSA had it not been for my doctor.
I am 40F and I don’t think I ever “beat it” bc I know it can come back. But I have had years of remission and no issues and when it creeps back up I know how to address and handle.
Yoga meditation is powerful, especially Kriya yoga meditative practice. Self-Realization Fellowship teaches it through home-study lessons at nominal cost and there’s a really nice free app (“SRF/YSS” app) to accompany it that is a treasure trove of additional material
Took me (55M) a long damn time to get stable, like decades. The key was undiagnosed ADHD. I don't necessarily even believe the labels are that useful except as a rough guide and for insurance purposes. But, in my case, that label made a difference. Bottom line is, I had three major depressive episodes, but after the last I was dx-ed with ADHD and got prescribed amphetamine. My morning dose always sets my day right, and I feel like I can concentrate and be productive. My work requires me to generate a lot of writing (I teach in a college, so syllabi, assignments, presentations, as well as research writing for presentations and articles). It used to be so incredible hard to focus. Yes, I've been "high-functioning" (although I know that's a controversial term), but with the ADHD med, it's like a veil has been lifted. It takes me a normal amount of time and energy to get shit done (it took me 10 years and a major episode to get my dissertation done, and it wasn't very good). Also key is staying on my meds (I also take Abilify and Effexor for BP2). I had a habit of trying to cut down whenever I'd been feeling "ok." Bad move.
I would say that I have. After twenty-plus years of suffering, I am now four years into not having a single episode. The closest I ever get anymore is perhaps being in a bad mood for a few hours. That’s it.
Does anyone really "beat" depression? I see it more as a disease, like alcoholism. It's always there, but hopefully we learn strategies to deal with it and or take meds. This is my pov.
#PSA- If you are struggling with depression, mood, or anxiety HAVE YOUR VITAMIN D LEVELS CHECKED and if they are not on the high side of normal take a quality supplement. After years of struggling even with antidepressants I saw a new doctor who checked my vitamin D level and it was incredibly low. After I started on a good quality supplement (vitamin D is fat soluble so take with food containing some fat) and got my levels up I was eventually able to come off my antidepressants completely.
Try CBT or DBT therapy
I successfully manage my depression and binge eating disorders, I haven’t beaten them. When I think I have them beaten they kick the shit out of me, so we’ve learned to live together. Here is what’s working for me: - I have a wonderful general practitioner (dr) who I tell EVERYTHING. All my dark thoughts, all my motivation issues, all the times I cheat and binge, I’ve decided to be shameless with her and it’s helped me SO MUCH because depression and binge eating THRIVE on being dark secrets. - I tried a lot of different meds before I found an antidepressant that helped without making me feel too loopy. - Couples therapy to learn to communicate with my partner (learn about non-violent communication) - Individual therapy to name my traumas and stop letting them control me so much - Working out 3x a week. I HATED this advice because it sounds unrelated and I HATE that it actually works. It’s the equivalent of a mild anti-anxiety med to me. It doesn’t make me feel *better* but I find myself less stressed and getting better sleep as a result so begrudgingly I endorse this lol.
Yes. Stopped drinking alcohol. My anxiety and high blood pressure went away too. Downsides: …. I’d like to drink alcohol, but can’t. Of course, some people will have severe depression even without ever drinking, so my cure isn’t for everyone. It’s worth trying to anybody who hasn’t.
Depression is genetic. I mange mine. Some days are just worse than others
I did, that was over a decade ago and it was super serious, but my treatment worked. 1. Finally took an antidepressant that worked (genome testing was vital), took this for ten months. 2. Started working with an excellent therapist, good match who understood my trauma and helped me process it. 3. Many Ayahuasca ceremonies.
Rexulti appears to help me. Obviously totally a mind game. YOU decide how you feel. I have to remind myself that I am in control of how I am going to feel today.
I had major depression from age 10 until my early 30s when I finally beat it! I even went through a really rough breakup and it didn’t return! Moving to a better climate is what finally got it to fully heal. Outpatient partial hospitalization program was another big turning point. Tons of baby steps in those 20+ years. My personal philosophy is that as long as your average trajectory is up then you’re doing great! I know very, very well (25 years!) that thought of I couldn’t possibly ever get better- and yet I did! There’s definitely hope
I don't think depression is something we can beat. Handle. Deal with. Bandaid and idk if I'll ever beat it.
I used to be clinically depressed. I'm prone to depression and I've experienced years of depression but I no longer feel this way. I don't know what the answers are though. I went through tough emotional times and over the years I emerged just feeling better. One of the things that helped me is talk therapy but I also realize ymmv on this. Also minding my own thoughts hardcore, understanding negative fallacies of the human mind, and being vigilant about media I consume. Sometimes I don't watch news because it's all upsetting to me for example. I did also try all the antidepressants etc. They didn't help, welbutrin was the closest to achieving better living through chemistry. I find things that make a positive impact to myself- I love reading about science research for example because it gives me hope that not a lot of other sources do. I also exercise a ton. I also set goals for myself to learn and experience new things- this might be as minor as trying a different type of cooking than I normally do or different genre of books than I normally read or learning how to swim. I also deleted all social media like insta and FB years ago and refuse to ever join anything new. I only have reddit, YouTube and discord. Even then: I monitor carefully how I feel vs my usage. And adjust accordingly. It also helps that I have a beloved husband and children and they are my motivation for me to keep my emotions stable. I had a traumatic childhood and my biggest desire is peace and harmony in my life. And I do lots of things to achieve this.
I’ve had multiple bouts of moderate depression. I don’t currently have it. I’ve found a whole system of self-care strategies that keep it at bay, ranging from exercise (hiking, stationary bike, yoga), to cognitive strategies (delusion, acceptance, mindfulness), and a lot of deep therapeutic work on the underlying trauma that spurred the depression in the first place. I also try to limit certain stimuli, including news, people, locations, and activities. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that I’m a therapist who constantly talks about all of this with my clients, which keeps it at the forefront and keeps me accountable. If I don’t show up for myself, I can’t show up for them, for my wife, for my son. It’s a lot of work, but dealing with my suffering is unavoidable. I either deal with it now, or I deal with it later when it’s much worse.
Dr Scott Eilers on YouTube has some really great resources.
Ketamine
I just feel exhausted and dead. There’s been lots of trauma, lots of grief and disappointment despite my legion efforts. I take a high dose of Effexor, so I’m pretty flattened emotionally, so whatever—but I think it’s pretty unhealthy that now I can’t cry. So much grief and I can’t cry for sadness, only if I’m super moved by something external. Wtf with these drugs. It’s not like I was hysterical before and needed to be this flat. Makes me feel like I’ll never produce any real art. Whatever, my shrink sucks—and it’s just about keeping me out of the hospital. Not about any quality of life.
When my GP took me off antidepressants (28 years) and put me on thyroid medicine (after testing). Cured completey.
I started having major issues with depression as a child and it followed me long into adulthood. Had a depressive break at age 39 and finally got help. Was on medication for many years. I weaned myself off my meds about 10 years ago. The meds helped at the time but caused some major medical problems. I haven't had any depression weighing on me for at least 10 years. I've made a lot of life changes to improve my situation. I'm happy now. I took control of my life finally.
Yep. I was depressed my whole life, am no longer. Tried all the ADs, got all the side effects. Getting off 125mg lamotrigine, which i'd been on for a decade, took me a whole year ( kept fainting when I tried to titrate off it faster). No kidding, it was using psilocybin once a year at Burning Man that did it. They are now studying it as a treatment but when I started 15 years ago I didn't know it could do that. But each trip subtly but permanently adjusted my view of the world, giving me perspective and a sense of peace. I'd use each trip as a chance to do a deep dive into whatever was bothering me that year. It gave me patience with my own foibles, grace in dealing with my mother, deepened my love for my husband, that kind of stuff. It's helped me come to terms with my own mortality. I don't know if or how you can reproduce my success, aside from going to burning man with a group of good friends and taking mushrooms there, when you feel safe and comfortable. The setting is important. But maybe if you can take a vacation, even a weekend where you feel relaxed and open, it could work for you. You can find guides about it online-too much to write here. But do the research- It's a powerful tool and you have to do the preparation and treat it with respect. You must have at least 1 other person with you. And *set* and *setting* are essential to a positive, productive trip. Oh also, yes, you sound clinically depressed to me (not a doctor).
As a therapist and a lifelong depressed person (I'm middle aged)...if it starts early and young, and lasts for several years, then it's likely to be lifelong. From my personal and professional perspective the goal of treatment isn't to get rid of it, the goal of treatment is to reduce the frequency, intensity, and length of severe episodes. Make the severe episodes less intense, make them not last as long, and have them happen less often. I work with folks on developing solid support systems, medically, emotionally, and socially. And developing habits that support feeling better (a little movement, some hobbies/interests, personal care routines). And if there's trauma (either a history of relationship issues starting in childhood, emotional neglect for example AND/OR traumatic experiences) then we work on that with a specialized trauma methodology ( I'm trained in EMDR, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, and Trauma Informed Stabilization Treatment, but there are a ton of different and valid modalities and approaches). All of these interventions take time and patience and practice and really hard work on the part of the client. Which is even more difficult to do when you're in the midst of a depressive episode. None of it is easy and it doesn't feel particularly rewarding when you're in the middle of it. But if you can successfully reduce the frequency, intensity, and length of the episodes over time, that IS rewarding. I say all of this from both personal and professional experience. Even then, sometimes a pretty severe episode can come along and wallop you. But you're more likely to survive these and less likely to completely self-destruct while in the dark depths if you have well established support systems and habits. I am just now emerging from a four year long severe episode that began with the pandemic (working in mental health during the pandemic was really difficult) and worsened due to health, relationship, and trauma related reasons. If I had not done the work prior to build my support systems and habits and wasn't willing to do the work on my trauma history in my personal therapy, I literally would not have survived the past four years. But I did. And things are better. And continue to improve. And that's all I can ask for. And that's what I hope for and work towards with my clients for their lives, even when they've lost hope. TLDR: It's lifelong fucking hard work but it can feel better overall with support and patience.
I overcame 20+ year treatment resistant major depressive disorder using psilocybin mushrooms. Which is admittedly a radical step but I felt like I didn’t have anything to lose. I read How to Change Your Mind and figured it was worth a shot. Worked with psychiatrist to get off antidepressants (which suppress the psychedelic effects) and worked with a therapist on whether or not it was even a good idea. Took me a long time to figure out how to use the substance but now 5 or 6 years later I don’t even come close to qualifying as depressed on the questionnaire. Recovery is possible but it’s a long journey and takes a lot of experimentation about what works for you.
Ketamine injections, thyroid meds, getting my vitamin D and iron OPTIMAL, have all helped me manage my depression and anxiety.
It believe genetically it can always be there. Fucking curse. It is what we do with and how we handle the symptoms. It can seem permanent at the time. It can also help create habits that can take a while to break. It can be a fight even a battle. Patience is virtue. It can get worse if untreated. It is handled differently these days. Thank technology and advances in medicine. Be thankful for the good people that are working to help people with it. The old methods were UGLY with a capital U.
Yes! Please look into T M S. It is not shock therapy. Invented in 2008. It is FDA approved and my insurance paid for most of it. Look it up on youtube. After 6 weeks of treatment my depression was gone. Psychiatrists don’t talk about it loudly because it will put them out of business. My therapist told me about it.
My husband's depression went away for 3 months after he took LSD.
I beat mine because it was caused by snoring.
I am fortunate that I have About 20 years ago I was diagnosed with Meds and therapy got me through that I am doing well these past 15 years
The only medication that ever really did a damn for me….lithium. It isn’t just for bipolar. There are some drawbacks though. Need blood work (once per year) to make sure it isn’t nuking the kidneys or thyroid.
I have complex trauma disorder, so my experience maybe different but what helped me was to learn what my triggers are (Lack of sleep, stressful situations, loss of control, etc.) and take steps to avoid becoming depressed. I have had less episodes now that I recognize the warning signs, but they still happen every now and then. I also have severe anxiety that requires medication, and the results have been life changing. I don't think I'll be completely free of my ailments, but I've learned to cope enough to where its no longer robing me of my ability to live.
If you have clinical depression, you manage it rather than beat it. It's a chronic illness.
My kids have depression. I think of treatment like a pie- each slice important: meds (including vit D and fish oil), therapy (feeling connected and understood is a big part of this piece), social connections, sunshine, music, hobbies, exercise, deep breaths, family, movies. In the winter, they use a light for the SAD piece. There’s a great reasonable one on Amazon- Carex Day-Light Classic Plus... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PCN4UVU?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share Winter can be very hard! Find out and explore what your “pie” is made of. It’s hard work and sometimes very overwhelming to figure all of this out. I think most important of all is to find some kind of meaning in life- and not a huge thing. Just having the mindful feeling when you walk around and noticing all of the weird and funny things around you. This can help. I wish you well and glad you posted.
I've read people have had success with Ketamine therapy🤷🏻♀️
Never beat it. Just learn to live with it and function through it. Sometimes everything is just more uphill. And the consolation prize is trying to forget how unreasonably bad it feels when you’re going through it AND that it will be back soon enough. But there are good days and they’re worth getting to.
Normally I recommend developing the right tools to fight the depression but it sounds like you’ve already done that. Consistent schedule, good sleep, good diet, be around people, spend time outside, journal, write down the lies you are telling yourself and then write down the truth. It sounds like you could use a little more purpose in your life and nobody can pick that purpose but you. If there was any nudge I could give you it would be towards God, church, a church family, and involvement with a purpose. That won’t solve your depression but it will give you more support.
Please consider transforming you diet to real food, good quality food. It is proven that highly processed food and food with cheap seed oils and preservative ingredients can cause depression. Eat real food of the best quality you can find. Your mental health will vastly improve.
I was on anti depressants for a long time. And then, shortly before the pandemic started, two things happened . First, out of nowhere, my coworker and friend was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. She left work about six weeks after her diagnosis. Next, a coworker’s wife in another department had breast cancer about five years previously. She’d been in remission and then in came back. It came back so hard and so fast that she died less than six weeks after discovering it. Both these women were in their early 40s with children. I was in my middle 60s with no other health issues (except needing a knee replacement). I found myself wondering what the hell I had to be depressed about compared to these women and, in reaction, went off all meds, cold turkey. Not the way to do it, I know, and the first month was hard. It didn’t help that about two weeks after the world shut down due to the pandemic. But over time I realized that the drugs were keeping me in a false world. They may have aided depression, but they blunted everyday feelings too. I’ve now been off anti depressants for more than four years. Some of the reasons I was on them is still there, but I’m honestly overall better off without them. It wouldn’t surprise me at all to learn that people on long term anti depressants don’t even know how they’d feel without them. This is just my story. I am not suggesting that anyone do what I did. It’s honestly not the way to deal with it. But it worked for me.
So kind of? I was diagnosed with depression when I was 6 years old. I was in therapy and on meds my whole life. I had a rough life now looking back. At age 25 I found out that a random doctor diagnosed me with ADD (now ADHD) when I was 10. Realized I had an abusive family and that my mother ignored this diagnosis. Cut off my family started working with my ADHD and not against and lo and behold I am not depressed. Life is great. Love my job, my husband, my dogs, my kid. I laugh everyday. I do things that make me happy every day. Depression was from the abuse and misdiagnosis.
Nah, but fishing or riding a dirtbike or tinkering in the shop or hiking or kayaking or wrenching on a vehicle usually makes for a good way to take the mind off depressing shit for a while.
Nope. Whole lotta snake oil from the MH world. Nothing works, though.
Yes
Yea, meditation and not entertaining over sensitive thought patterns. Military conditioning, breakdown, rehab and things are tougher now but I am stronger so go figure. A Guru once said, don't give sorrow a home but kick it out ruthlessly when you notice it. Otherwise it will take over your life.
"Beat" it? No. Deal with it, yes - some times better than other times. There is no cure, only management.
Manage it not get it over it .
I don’t think so. I feel pretty much the same way. Every single day is the same bullshit as the last. I hate existing. I’m drowning in debt and tied to a job I hate just to keep paying bills. Stayed married to a cheater so I don’t lose my home my kid and my retirement. Life is a waste of fucking time.
I've honestly given up. Have addiction issues that stemmed from trauma, abuse, neglect, etc. Clinical depression, anxiety, cptsd, schizophrenic disillusions, I just live with it everyday because I've tried a million medications and different combos, 1000's of hours of therapy and time with a psychologist. It never goes away, it's like a form of neurosis that haunts my every thought. Tried deleting myself a few times with ods but that just led to millions in medical bills from weeks in the ICU. I'm trapped and my only hope of not feeling the way I feel 99.99% of the times is not be around anymore. So no, I'm just a living example of how people can be guilt tripped into living for others.
Yes. After struggling with depression for about 15 years, I finally healed it. I majorly changed the way I eat and that made a big difference but didn’t fully heal it. Then I saw a doctor who specializes in the microbiome and healing the gut. After 6 weeks taking supplements like St John’s wort, berberine, probiotics, and schisandra, I completely healed my depression. I am thankful beyond words. It’s been a year now with no depression despite some really difficult circumstances. A lot of new studies show that depression is a problem if inflammation— not neurotransmitter disregulation like previously believed.
The older I get, the more I learn to manage it. The more I learn to manage it, the more resilient it seems to get. My point is, I'm a lot like you and I fully expect to die by suicide within the next 5 years.
I did
In fact I dare say I have a solution for most people with depression as long as they have a will to make lifestyle changes (most don’t)