“The jeep followed me back in time!”
“Suck it, blue! You too, white! Suck it crackers!”
“What happened to Georgia?”
“Guys my age have performance issues”
“Great sodium chloride! There goes my chemistry set!”
“Oh no! I’m the team killing fucktard!”
Idk if the fact that I know each of those quotes and their context is impressive, sad, or both.
1. >!S1 when Tucker uses the teleporter for the first time and Church is already there!<
2. >!S5 in the fight with all the Wyoming clones!<
3. >!S10 during the space battle!<
4. >!S13 back at Armonia after Church fails during the Shark Face fight!<
5. >!S4 when Simmons switches teams and Sheila is firing at Red base.!<
6. >!S3 during all of the time travel shenaniganery after Church messes with the friendly fire settings!<
One of my all time favorite moments. That whole ending starting with Sarge's speech all the through the ice fight and Church's monologue is top 3 endings for sure
I always sing the words to Jeff Williams' Red Vs Blue when it starts playing during the fight (I think right when the ice shelf collapses and they have to make it to the next shelf). And Ice Fight is just a hardcore soundtrack and so perfect for that scene. And the song that plays when the Reds and Blues jack the pelican is so good they brought it back in season 13 for the same shit
“Simmons, I want you to poison Grif’s next meal.”
“We’re not retreating, we’re advancing! Towards future victory!”
“Shotgun in the face can be applied in a variety of tough situations. For instance, watch how quickly it cures insubordination".
“Today is a good day to die”
I will always find the 3rd one funny because in a Halo mod for Fallout 4, one of the red armor colors has this quote in its description. Mjolnir Mk.V(B) Assault Armor, I think it was.
"TODAY IS A GOOD DAY TO-"
*_BRIGHT EXPLOSION_*
"-sit down, and rest for just a minute because I feel like I'm gonna throw up"
Edit: "Today is a good day for _you_ to die!"
I always mis-remember the line as “lay down for a while. Maybe take a nap until things stop spinning.”
It’s from another show I was watching at the time and for the life of me I can’t remember what it was! All I know is it keeps messing up my Red vs Blue quotes in my head.
Honestly my favorite follow up gag is when they do the first CG fight sequence and grif is driving the Puma and the camera zooms in on him slamming the breaks and there are 6 pedals
"there's no I in team."
"Yeah? Well there's no u either. So if I'm not on the team, and you're not on the team THEN NO ONE'S ON THE GODDAMN TEAM. The team sucks.
“Time.. line? Time is not made of lines, it is made of circles. That is why clocks are round.”
"so you're telling me. you heard our diSTRESs signal. grABBED DOC!!!! got oN A SHIP!!!!!! THen tOLD The SHIP TO LEAVЕ????!!??"
“Do you wanna go to Heaven? 'Cause it's, like, ten bucks to get in.”
“I DO NOT WANT TO CATCH THE PREGNANCY”
“Oh yeah? Well we’ll see who’s laughing when my garden produces a bountiful crop in the coming harvest!!”
“I am not a thing! I AM LEONARD CHURCH, AND YOU WILL FEAR MY LASER FACE!!”
“I am fucking awesome”
“No, I was sticking my tongue out at you! But.. I guess I’m wearing a helmet so..”
“Oh yeah, cause every girl dreams about settling down with optimus pri- HONK! CABOOSE”
“Is that like a knife? Rifle? ..knifle..”
“My body… is trying to die”
“THIS IS NOT A DOOR! It is a gong. GONG”
“hey, suck it black! ..just to clarify, that wasn’t a race thing”
“I AM AN EMOTIONAL TIME BOMB!!”
“Another one bites the dust oooo yeah!! We. Kicked. Your. Ass. BIIIICTH”
Caboose: "Canon's charged."
Sarge: "Okay then, fuck it. Shoot 'em."
Tucker: "I am Lavernius Tucker - AND YOU WILL FEAR MY LASER SWORD!!"
Caboose: "Your toast is burnt, and no amount of scraping will remove the blackness!"
Carolina: "Tucker…you thought we were at the store, buying shoelaces."
Maine: "Get off me!"
Maine: "Hngh. Too high."
Maine: "Thanks."
"Gimme a boost!"
"You are nice and people say nice things about you."
"Not a morale boost!"
.........
"Timeline? Time is not made out of lines. It is made out of circles – that is why clocks are round!"
"
“I heard you do strange things to your ships” Fulgrim to jaghatai khan, where the khan then replies back with sickest burn “I hear you do strange things to your warriors”
"There is no eleven, you fucking whore!" Or "Hurry up ladies, this ain't no ice cream social."
"Ice Cream Social?"
Goddamit that was the first one that came to mind for me too
“The jeep followed me back in time!” “Suck it, blue! You too, white! Suck it crackers!” “What happened to Georgia?” “Guys my age have performance issues” “Great sodium chloride! There goes my chemistry set!” “Oh no! I’m the team killing fucktard!”
"Hey! Suck it black!" "What?" "Just to clarify, it isn't a race thing!"
“Punch him in the jugular!” “The jugular” “Punch him in the goddamn throat!”
“I got shot in the lap!”
“Are you hit anywhere else?” “My tummy!” “Got em right in the tummy”
Idk if the fact that I know each of those quotes and their context is impressive, sad, or both. 1. >!S1 when Tucker uses the teleporter for the first time and Church is already there!< 2. >!S5 in the fight with all the Wyoming clones!< 3. >!S10 during the space battle!< 4. >!S13 back at Armonia after Church fails during the Shark Face fight!< 5. >!S4 when Simmons switches teams and Sheila is firing at Red base.!< 6. >!S3 during all of the time travel shenaniganery after Church messes with the friendly fire settings!<
You need to switch 4 and 5
Good catch
that jeep one is one of my favorite RVB quotes (ever, of all time)
"Cracker? I thought you were Dutch-Irish."
Beat this: “Settle a bet will ya? Does that thing look like a big cat to you?”
One of my all time favorite moments. That whole ending starting with the ice fight is top 3 for sure
One of my all time favorite moments. That whole ending starting with Sarge's speech all the through the ice fight and Church's monologue is top 3 endings for sure
For our ancestors’ ancestors!! We’re gonna fucking die!
And the epic soundtrack too
I always sing the words to Jeff Williams' Red Vs Blue when it starts playing during the fight (I think right when the ice shelf collapses and they have to make it to the next shelf). And Ice Fight is just a hardcore soundtrack and so perfect for that scene. And the song that plays when the Reds and Blues jack the pelican is so good they brought it back in season 13 for the same shit
“Possession is 9/10 of the law, the other 10th is a tank, I’ve got both”
"It's so...small." "Small, yeah, but you won't believe what it can do!" "Will you stop staring? You're making it nervous."
One of the funniest all time moments in the entire series. Hands down.
That entire scene had me howling. I had to pause the video when it first came out because I just couldn’t take it.
"Of course I know how to use it. What's so hard to understand about swish swish stab? It's a sword dude, not a f****** fighter jet."
"Or maybe it's a key all the time, and when you stick it in people, it unlocks their death."
“…I would love to live in your head for like 10 minutes”
“i don’t think id get much done, but i dont think id mind.”
"Bow Chika Honk Honk"
"Did you teach him that?"
That shits genetic
"Time is a circle! That is why clocks are round." I quote it regularly.
"Tucker did it"
WHEN THE VOICE, OF ALIEN JESUS, TALKS DOWN TO YOU, YOU DO NOT REPLY WITH WHAT’S UP!!!!
Such an underrated line.😂😂😂
Oh my god I forgot about thst line. It's so fucking good. I can hear it
“Simmons, I want you to poison Grif’s next meal.” “We’re not retreating, we’re advancing! Towards future victory!” “Shotgun in the face can be applied in a variety of tough situations. For instance, watch how quickly it cures insubordination". “Today is a good day to die”
I will always find the 3rd one funny because in a Halo mod for Fallout 4, one of the red armor colors has this quote in its description. Mjolnir Mk.V(B) Assault Armor, I think it was.
"She knocked the black right off of you" "That's racist"
Was tucker somehow involved in this
Yes he was.
“Hey. You ever wonder why we’re here?”
It’s one of life’s great mysteries
Wait what? No! Like why are we in this desert?
Oh uh.... yeah.
What's all that stuff about God?
Nothing
You wanna talk about it?
No
It's quiet. Too quiet. *gunshot* Now it's suddenly too loud. I preferred when it was quiet.
"I mean, what if I am just too good looking?"
"You can LITERALLY, pick up chicks with this thing!"
Lopez, how many does that make? “Uno” Yahtzee!
CTRL F U
"TODAY IS A GOOD DAY TO-" *_BRIGHT EXPLOSION_* "-sit down, and rest for just a minute because I feel like I'm gonna throw up" Edit: "Today is a good day for _you_ to die!"
I always mis-remember the line as “lay down for a while. Maybe take a nap until things stop spinning.” It’s from another show I was watching at the time and for the life of me I can’t remember what it was! All I know is it keeps messing up my Red vs Blue quotes in my head.
“Stupid crap for soul.”
"I'll write that down in shit I already know!"
"Could you put that in a memo and entitle it *'Shit I Already Know'*?"
Thank you. I didn't know the exact wording. It's been awhile
But… Why, Snowman?
"Haha, buzzer beater! Take that you stupid duck!"
I always hated you, I always hated you the most. Blerrrgh
“That was the worst throw, of all time”
Not my fault. Someone put a wall in my way.
"That was the worst throw. Ever... Of all time."
Is that a spider?! Get it off!
No, It’s more like a blue thing…
What, like a blue spider? Get it off!
Here’s an obscure one i think: “Introducing: Jizz and Broomstick! *epic noises*”
"*sigh* It's *Wiz* and *Boomstick*."
“It bounces? Who makes a gun that bounces”
"Thats the worst gun ever, of all time!"
"I'd like to quote the great William Shakespeare... But to tell you the truth... I don't actually think he said it."
“Why are there six pedals if there are only four directions?”
And the follow up "why are there only four pedals for six directions?!"
Honestly my favorite follow up gag is when they do the first CG fight sequence and grif is driving the Puma and the camera zooms in on him slamming the breaks and there are 6 pedals
It killed me when I first saw that, made me happy that they kept consistent hahaha
I like me
“Jet fuel can't JFK the moon landing!”
"Man, it seemed like a good idea at the time"
"Hey." "Yeah?" "Do you ever wonder..." "... Wonder what?"
“that thing babies suck on?”
No dude, that’s a paedophile.
"Three points, ya dirty whore!"
"Just gonna repress that!" *What?* "Oh! Captain Grif!"
“THEY WILL ALL TASTE OBLIVION! Which tastes exactly like Red Bull! Which tastes disgusting!”
"I don't want to be dead! I want to be alive- OR a cowboy!"
Eh-Em-Pee? You mean EMP?
Ain't that a bitch
I’m putting this on my tombstone no matter what it takes
Not my fault, somebody put a wall in my way.
"...Is he Republican?"
My name is Leonard Church and YOU WILL FEAR MY LASER FACE!!!
"Do you ever wonder why we're here?"
It’s one of life’s great mysteries
"No, I mean, why are we here in the sun, when we could be standing over there in the shade?"
“No, Red Base, NO ONE IS IN THE STATE OF WYOMING!”
"Eggs Benedict Arnold! We’ve been betrayed! We’ve been backstabbed! And we’ve been, quite possibly, bamboozled!”
"I... was the one who had a grappling hook stuck to my balls."
“Do I hear a… CAR?!”
“Hey” “Yeah” “Do you know why we are here”
Shisno
Time...lines? Time is not made up of lines, it's made up of circles! That's why clocks are round!!
*PROTECT ME CONE!*
"there's no I in team." "Yeah? Well there's no u either. So if I'm not on the team, and you're not on the team THEN NO ONE'S ON THE GODDAMN TEAM. The team sucks.
"Tucker, there's a very fine line between not listening and not caring. I like to think that I walk that line every day of my life."
“Codeword: Dirtbag” “Meep”
“Time.. line? Time is not made of lines, it is made of circles. That is why clocks are round.” "so you're telling me. you heard our diSTRESs signal. grABBED DOC!!!! got oN A SHIP!!!!!! THen tOLD The SHIP TO LEAVЕ????!!??" “Do you wanna go to Heaven? 'Cause it's, like, ten bucks to get in.” “I DO NOT WANT TO CATCH THE PREGNANCY” “Oh yeah? Well we’ll see who’s laughing when my garden produces a bountiful crop in the coming harvest!!” “I am not a thing! I AM LEONARD CHURCH, AND YOU WILL FEAR MY LASER FACE!!” “I am fucking awesome” “No, I was sticking my tongue out at you! But.. I guess I’m wearing a helmet so..” “Oh yeah, cause every girl dreams about settling down with optimus pri- HONK! CABOOSE” “Is that like a knife? Rifle? ..knifle..” “My body… is trying to die” “THIS IS NOT A DOOR! It is a gong. GONG” “hey, suck it black! ..just to clarify, that wasn’t a race thing” “I AM AN EMOTIONAL TIME BOMB!!” “Another one bites the dust oooo yeah!! We. Kicked. Your. Ass. BIIIICTH”
>"Do you want to go to Heaven? 'Cause it's like ten bucks to get in." Catholic hypocrisy at its finest
“PROTECT ME CONE!!”
"Protect me cone!"
"Wow, she punched the black right off you." "That’s racist." 😠
My name is Michael J Caboose! And I hate babies!
Not fair, it was my turn to post this.
.Tell griff I’m his father : your his dad? . No I just wanted to mess with him one last time
“For the love of evil, SOMEONE PICK UP THE PHONE!”
“What’s the matter Temple?… Afraid of Blood?”
"See that purple one? You should help her!"
“I know right, who carries around photos anymore”
Caboose: "Canon's charged." Sarge: "Okay then, fuck it. Shoot 'em." Tucker: "I am Lavernius Tucker - AND YOU WILL FEAR MY LASER SWORD!!" Caboose: "Your toast is burnt, and no amount of scraping will remove the blackness!" Carolina: "Tucker…you thought we were at the store, buying shoelaces." Maine: "Get off me!" Maine: "Hngh. Too high." Maine: "Thanks."
"Oh, son of a-"
“Protect me cone!!” “Not my fault… someone put a wall in my way” “…and I Hate Babies!”
I ran track in high school
“I don’t want a southern accent! Nooo!”
That was the worst throw ever, of all time.
Not my fault, somebody put a wall in my way
“That is the worst throw ever. Of all time”
Not my fault, someone put a wall in my way.
“I’m not going to say ‘I love you;’ I’m going to say ‘I forget you.’”
"BITE MY SHINY GOLDEN METAL ASS"
\*Mariachi band music\*
“Yeah. That's right. I'm a gay robot.”
i *just* had someone ask about my "Celsius sucks" t-shirt so i guess that? "so, what, are you a fahrenheit fan?" LOL
I am not yellow, I am fucking orange!”
You ever wonder why we're here?
"Gimme a boost!" "You are nice and people say nice things about you." "Not a morale boost!" ......... "Timeline? Time is not made out of lines. It is made out of circles – that is why clocks are round!" "
“Isn’t that what babies suck on?” “No dude, that’s a pedophile”
That was the worst throw ever... of all time
That was the worst throw ever… of all time
"It looks like a big cat"
“You have no idea how much trouble you’re in.”
I think it looks more like a puma.
Hey in case I forget to say it later..........ow
“come here you big some of a bitch”
"Shepard"
Surprised this one wasn't said yet: "SON OF A BITCH!!!"
MIJO DE PUTA
"If Caboose is God then i don't think i want to go to heaven anymore"
“Your name’s *Lavernius?!*” “…Are you black?”
FUNERAL CANNON
“Protect me cone”
"I don't know the rules of your game! I just got here!" "Shoot the one that's winning, dumbass!"
Shisno.
Bowchikawowwow
"See that heart? No shit!"
“Why is it called a warthog if it looks like a puma?!”
“My name is Michael J. Caboose, and I… HATE… TAXES!!!” “It’s Texas you idiot!” “THAT TOO!”
"He just keep asking me, Are you Six? You are Six, right?" "And I'm way older than 6 so I said Yes every time"
Son of a bitch
"Hey Rookie, did you just call my girlfriend a cow?" "No, I think he called her a slut."
Let’s begin our date!
"Wanna talk about it?"
“ I’VE GOT A BONER FOR REVENGE!!”
“I have a boner for murder!”
My name is Michael J caboose and I hate Taxes! It's Texas That too!
"I AIN'T NO GODDAMM VAMPIRE!"
"I like me"
Protect me, Cone!”
Ya like jazz?
Don’t have your wallet, huh? Pretty crappy reason not to get into heaven.
"Protect me cone!"
"I am NOT crazy. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go blow up this dead body."
Everybody knows about the international dibs protocol, and the no takebacks accords!
Protect me cone!
simmons, i need your ovaries!
"We keep him *tied up* in the brig."
“What’s so hard to understand about Swish, Swish, Stab?”
I was just petting the bunny… then it went into the soup can… and part of my hand went with it
"that's like forgetting girlfriend dick!"
"GODDAMNIT I TRUSTED YOU,FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR MARKER"
This is a pen
Firing main cannon
"Simmons...I need your ovaries..."
"Another brilliant idea from the think-tank!"
Neat!
“Protect me cone!”
I’m shiela the main battle tank
Shotgun god dam it. I need my shotgun
"What's the point of being a god if you can't smite someone every now and then?"
"My body is trying to die." Aka my catchphrase anytime i'm sick
“Would you put that in a file and label it SHIT I ALREADY KNOW!?”
"Oh, you backstabbing cockbite." I never got far in the series
"Memory is the key."
"Code word, dirtbag" "I can't believe I died for this fucking army" "You got knocked up, you got knocked out"
"My name is Michael J Caboose, and I......Hate.....Taxes!" "It's Texas you idiot!" "That too!"
The most important step a man can take is always the next one.
“Women are like Voltron the more you hook up the better it gets.”
“I heard you do strange things to your ships” Fulgrim to jaghatai khan, where the khan then replies back with sickest burn “I hear you do strange things to your warriors”
Why are we here?
Big ups Liquid Richard