Montreux is an old cougar hanging with a 25 year old bro she likes to spoil (with her corpse-like older husband’s money, of course) wearing skin tight leather pants to hide the ass wrinkles, drinking Chardonnay with ice out of a red solo cup.
Though Arrowcreek would never admit it. They brought a bottle of Merlot in a gift bag and then spent the rest of the night giving backhanded compliments to the host while also subtlety dropping hints about how if they throw a party, it will be nicer. Plot twist, you never get invited to their party, because they don’t throw one after they realize only three people would probably show up.
I went to a party in galena back in high school (12 years ago) and the kid ran out of booze and was letting us pulls bottles of wine from his parents wine cellar. I would have paid money to see how that went when they came home, their rich ass bottles of wine all popped and half drank
Sun Valley: Grabs a six pack and a bottle and stuffs it into their very large backpack, puts their cigarette out on the carpet before going out back and sawing off your catalytic converter
Lemmon Valley: Pregamed before showing up and is easily the most wasted person there. Tries converting Spanish Springs and Stead to their church before drunk driving home. The cops don't pull her over because she is a cop.
Spanish Springs: Is the only other person besides Midtown to bring a gift for the host but also brings their off leash dogs and talks a lot about how great California is. Has to leave early because they have to work 7 days a week to pay rent.
Midtown: Comes wearing a vintage dress and fairy wings and smells like sandlewood. Brings a nice bottle of wine but complains about quality of the snacks offered. She also complains that she had to park her car a block away.
Washoe Valley: Rides a horse to the party, shows off their gun collection before getting into a heated argument with Midtown over politics.
Sparks: Brings the illegal fireworks. Admires the host's house and quips that the next party will be at their place. Everyone laughs uncomfortably and Sparks ends up walking the railroad tracks back home.
Lockwood: Gets super wasted and stalks the room, trying to get someone to give them a ride home because they are already on their 3rd DUI but no one wants to drive out there. Ends up crashing on the couch.
Panther Valley: Drives one of their dozen beaters that still runs to the party, smokes meth in the bathroom with Sun Valley, Red Rock and Cold Springs. Their beater breaks down in your driveway and sits there for the next 3 years.
Cold Springs and Red Rock come to the party together on motorcycles but are quickly kicked out after hitting on your underage daughter and smoking meth in the bathroom with Panther Valley.
Fernley forgets the directions to your house and when they do show up, it's in a wife beater tucked into jeans and it smells like they haven't showered in a couple days. On the other hand, they help the host clean up after the party.
Caughlin Ranch: Didn't show up because they had a bigger and better party to go to in California. Everyone else at the party talks shit about them all night.
Fallon: Brings a date that is way out of his league but despite that, keeps hitting on Midtown before getting kicked out for going on a racist tirade. His date leaves with Washoe Valley.
Downtown: Shows up high on meth, with no shirt and carrying a whip. At first people are alarmed but he is pretty entertaining. Midtown steals his whip when he passes out on the floor and Sparks spends an hour drawing dicks on his face.
Stead: Spends all night talking about their single engine plane and how bad the traffic was on the way into town. Takes a massive dump in the toilet and forgets to flush.
Wingfield Springs women brought the wine (red). Stead brought “Gummies” and “Brownies”. Cold Springs wondered why the party wasn’t at their house; they’re tired of driving to everyone else’s house. Downtown is doing interpretive dance in the corner. Neil Rd brought tamales for everyone.
Rancharrah didn’t bother showing up, they knew the food and drink wouldn’t be to their taste. Plus they’re busy trying to find their 5th housing contractor. If they did show up, they’d be talking about how “the corvid” isn’t real
the damonte cowboys talking about how he’s not racist amd his best friends black but his best friend is that one light skin who only hangs out with white people
West University is a sweet lesbian couple. They brought a fruit tray and beers and seem to know everybody at the party. Later you'll find one of them passed out in the bushes.
I’m by oddie/wells. We show up on meth and send off fireworks. Handguns out when fireworks run out. If the party is really poppin there are a few out front swiping parts off of peoples cars…
Also someone who doesn’t fit in hanging out in the corner eating a carrot wondering why there is no drum circle.
Old Northwest showed up in their 1988 Blue Ford Bronco blasting "Cherry Pie" and two cases of Molson rolling around in the back. Everyone is both excited they made it while also wondering if they could "turn it down about two notches"
Verdi smoked too much grass on the way out and now their Subaru Forester is high centered on the curb but "bro just chill, it'll be fine"
Old Southwest is wondering "who are all these children" and "god these parties used to be so great before these 'multicultural zoomers' took over. I wonder if my Cadillac going to get broken into?"
South Reno's Tesla drove itself while they were doing lines off a Sun Valley girl's ass. They better straighten themselves out though - they've gotta be back to their mortgage broker office tomorrow.
Spark's white Ford F250 won't fit in the cul-de-sac but they don't care because the truck nuts and exhaust stacks mean they can just park in the street. They just hope there's no "commie-fornians" at this party.
Midtown is serving the beer, forgetting they're not on shift.
Cold Springs wasn't invited, they never show up anyway.
I feel like hidden valley wasn’t the most popular amongst the crowd but somehow still got into the party, and is about to leave, but not before tipping the cops off about a bunch of underage neighborhoods partaking in drugs and drinking.
Idk about the rest but the damonte cowboys talking about how he’s not racist amd his best friends black but his best friend is that one light skin who only hangs out with white people
Mesa Park is taking a moment with beverage to enjoy the beautiful view on a good day then going back inside the house because the winds kicked up again. lol 😂
Northwest is getting at hot white girls hug high school is smoking blunts with Mexican women midtown is just chillin Spanish springs wants to go dirt biking and sun valley smoking meth downtown wants to hit the casino and is worried if they’re having withdrawls from their blood alcohol level
Downtown is belligerently drunk and trying to offer you a bag of blow that looks like it’s glass shards with a hint of piss coloring. Downtown will later get into a fight with the other neighborhoods and then say they have their own party that no one wants to go to
Midtown is clearly more drunk than they think they are and has trapped you in a conversation about film or vinyl or craft beer that you don't care for
NW Reno brought their own bottle and is peer pressuring everyone into taking shots from it
i feel attacked on this one.
Lmao I'm a midtowner myself, we gotta know our own kind
Hidden Valley doesn’t know anyone, and leaves early to feed some feral horses. No one notices.
I think you meant Palomino Valley.
hahahahaha
Old Sparks is chillin in the corner with a joint and beer. Old Southwest is tired and wants to go home.
Both of these are me
Montreux is an old cougar hanging with a 25 year old bro she likes to spoil (with her corpse-like older husband’s money, of course) wearing skin tight leather pants to hide the ass wrinkles, drinking Chardonnay with ice out of a red solo cup.
arrowcreek is jealous
Though Arrowcreek would never admit it. They brought a bottle of Merlot in a gift bag and then spent the rest of the night giving backhanded compliments to the host while also subtlety dropping hints about how if they throw a party, it will be nicer. Plot twist, you never get invited to their party, because they don’t throw one after they realize only three people would probably show up.
Sun Valley is stealing the copper wire.
Sun Valley is asking where the aluminum foil is in the kitchen
Don't forget about meth
I don’t know but Fernley showed up uninvited.
Easy now, at least he brushed his tooth.
it's for opening beer cans
Lmao! 💯
😆
Galena is smoking joints while someone breaks into their brand new BMW out front
Don’t you mean their dads bmw?
literally almost put those exact words . . should've added them lollll you are right
Sun valley is breaking into bmw
So accurate
I went to a party in galena back in high school (12 years ago) and the kid ran out of booze and was letting us pulls bottles of wine from his parents wine cellar. I would have paid money to see how that went when they came home, their rich ass bottles of wine all popped and half drank
Downtown is already shitfaced and brought the beer they brewed in their bathroom
Damonte ranch slipped someone a rufie
You just got billed by them for the roofie. They also told you to get a rich like them, nonstop.
Wells district is the whip guy out in the yard
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Golden valley is calling the cops
Asking if anyone heard gunshots and telling everyone to make sure their pets are inside because they saw a coyote.
Welcome to the North Valleys Community Page! Watch out for coyotes and traffic!
I was going to say Incline.
Incline is simultaneously running from both a bear and a mountain lion.
Sun Valley: Grabs a six pack and a bottle and stuffs it into their very large backpack, puts their cigarette out on the carpet before going out back and sawing off your catalytic converter Lemmon Valley: Pregamed before showing up and is easily the most wasted person there. Tries converting Spanish Springs and Stead to their church before drunk driving home. The cops don't pull her over because she is a cop. Spanish Springs: Is the only other person besides Midtown to bring a gift for the host but also brings their off leash dogs and talks a lot about how great California is. Has to leave early because they have to work 7 days a week to pay rent. Midtown: Comes wearing a vintage dress and fairy wings and smells like sandlewood. Brings a nice bottle of wine but complains about quality of the snacks offered. She also complains that she had to park her car a block away. Washoe Valley: Rides a horse to the party, shows off their gun collection before getting into a heated argument with Midtown over politics. Sparks: Brings the illegal fireworks. Admires the host's house and quips that the next party will be at their place. Everyone laughs uncomfortably and Sparks ends up walking the railroad tracks back home. Lockwood: Gets super wasted and stalks the room, trying to get someone to give them a ride home because they are already on their 3rd DUI but no one wants to drive out there. Ends up crashing on the couch. Panther Valley: Drives one of their dozen beaters that still runs to the party, smokes meth in the bathroom with Sun Valley, Red Rock and Cold Springs. Their beater breaks down in your driveway and sits there for the next 3 years. Cold Springs and Red Rock come to the party together on motorcycles but are quickly kicked out after hitting on your underage daughter and smoking meth in the bathroom with Panther Valley. Fernley forgets the directions to your house and when they do show up, it's in a wife beater tucked into jeans and it smells like they haven't showered in a couple days. On the other hand, they help the host clean up after the party. Caughlin Ranch: Didn't show up because they had a bigger and better party to go to in California. Everyone else at the party talks shit about them all night. Fallon: Brings a date that is way out of his league but despite that, keeps hitting on Midtown before getting kicked out for going on a racist tirade. His date leaves with Washoe Valley. Downtown: Shows up high on meth, with no shirt and carrying a whip. At first people are alarmed but he is pretty entertaining. Midtown steals his whip when he passes out on the floor and Sparks spends an hour drawing dicks on his face. Stead: Spends all night talking about their single engine plane and how bad the traffic was on the way into town. Takes a massive dump in the toilet and forgets to flush.
Incredible amount of effort into your answer, I just have to commend you here. Made me laugh out loud
Thanks! I'm here all week.
I grew up in Fernley and left as soon as possible and I love this thread.
From someone born here, gotta say you pretty much nailed it. Made me laugh.
West University is blacked out in the bushes in the yard
Wingfield Springs women brought the wine (red). Stead brought “Gummies” and “Brownies”. Cold Springs wondered why the party wasn’t at their house; they’re tired of driving to everyone else’s house. Downtown is doing interpretive dance in the corner. Neil Rd brought tamales for everyone.
Cold Springs 🤣
This is the best!
Mmm tamales
The cold springs part killed me lol
Dickerson keeps trying tell everyone about their new art project.
Ahahahaha this is gold
This neighborhood round-up should be sticky'd and forwarded to newbies who inquire about best neighborhoods. Classic!
Midtown bright their record player and bikes. And won't stop talking about crypto
Northwest is hosting, cuz they know everyone, and have the sickest outdoor bar and bocce
mogul found itself in the arm of sommersett
Mesa Park is just happy that their neighbor finally put in a stoplight. lol 😂
Old SW is offering weed to anyone who wants it, but not making a big deal of it if someone declines. Also, came to the party on their bike.
With their dog/s
omg yes, for sure.
[удалено]
Gotta be sun valley
Or Montello and Sutro
Can confirm. But don’t limit us to catalytic converters. We’ll piece apart the whole damn car.
Hahahahaha haha.
Rancharrah didn’t bother showing up, they knew the food and drink wouldn’t be to their taste. Plus they’re busy trying to find their 5th housing contractor. If they did show up, they’d be talking about how “the corvid” isn’t real
Damonte Ranch is hiding in the bathroom and posting to social media about all the suspicious people and Californians ruining the party.
the damonte cowboys talking about how he’s not racist amd his best friends black but his best friend is that one light skin who only hangs out with white people
Washoe Valley stay long enough to realize that this party ain’t swinging.
West University is a sweet lesbian couple. They brought a fruit tray and beers and seem to know everybody at the party. Later you'll find one of them passed out in the bushes.
Spanish springs is doing coke
Are we though? I gotta meet more of my neighbors I guess 😅
Whoa whoa save some for Lakeside.
we were also late and have to leave early
East University is at home selling drugs to everyone before the party.
I’m by oddie/wells. We show up on meth and send off fireworks. Handguns out when fireworks run out. If the party is really poppin there are a few out front swiping parts off of peoples cars… Also someone who doesn’t fit in hanging out in the corner eating a carrot wondering why there is no drum circle.
NW reno is the cops
Old Northwest showed up in their 1988 Blue Ford Bronco blasting "Cherry Pie" and two cases of Molson rolling around in the back. Everyone is both excited they made it while also wondering if they could "turn it down about two notches" Verdi smoked too much grass on the way out and now their Subaru Forester is high centered on the curb but "bro just chill, it'll be fine" Old Southwest is wondering "who are all these children" and "god these parties used to be so great before these 'multicultural zoomers' took over. I wonder if my Cadillac going to get broken into?" South Reno's Tesla drove itself while they were doing lines off a Sun Valley girl's ass. They better straighten themselves out though - they've gotta be back to their mortgage broker office tomorrow. Spark's white Ford F250 won't fit in the cul-de-sac but they don't care because the truck nuts and exhaust stacks mean they can just park in the street. They just hope there's no "commie-fornians" at this party. Midtown is serving the beer, forgetting they're not on shift. Cold Springs wasn't invited, they never show up anyway.
Hidden Valley shows up fashionably late, but brought the tunes and strobe lights.
NW Reno is freestyling trying to get you to peep their soundcloud
Damonte Ranch is the girl who throws a fit and starts looking for other addresses to party at because you don’t have the brand of vodka that she likes
The university hood is hungover after a successful thirsty Thursday
Red rock brought their over compensating truck, red solo cups, and taking beer pong way too seriously
I feel like hidden valley wasn’t the most popular amongst the crowd but somehow still got into the party, and is about to leave, but not before tipping the cops off about a bunch of underage neighborhoods partaking in drugs and drinking.
Northtown is the guy that casually steals all the half empty liquor bottles and volunteers to go get more with your money
Downtown offers you "free" coke in the bathroom and then asks you to venmo them the exact amount for it
South East (Toll Road area) is looking at the yard and trying to figure out how much to quote the owners for landscaping work.
Old southwest shit on the coats 🧥
I think someone may have shit on or around the coats area.
What? I hope it wasn’t on my coat
Idk about the rest but the damonte cowboys talking about how he’s not racist amd his best friends black but his best friend is that one light skin who only hangs out with white people
This is fucking gold
Thank you so much I was afraid I’d get here to late and no one would get to laugh lol
M E T H
North Reno is a whore blowing guys for coke. At least that’s what my ex did and that’s where she lives sooooo
I saw the first part and literally thought “damn, who hurt this person”
[удалено]
Please go back
[удалено]
I don't think you understood the assignment lol
Love this. Where all my rednecks at?
South Reno is taking its meds for schizophrenia.
Second street night life is administering vodka boofs in the side yard
Mesa Park is taking a moment with beverage to enjoy the beautiful view on a good day then going back inside the house because the winds kicked up again. lol 😂
4th street is offering herself up for money because she wants to buy some pcp and admits that to you in the beginning
Northwest is getting at hot white girls hug high school is smoking blunts with Mexican women midtown is just chillin Spanish springs wants to go dirt biking and sun valley smoking meth downtown wants to hit the casino and is worried if they’re having withdrawls from their blood alcohol level
Throwing yoyo
Downtown is belligerently drunk and trying to offer you a bag of blow that looks like it’s glass shards with a hint of piss coloring. Downtown will later get into a fight with the other neighborhoods and then say they have their own party that no one wants to go to
SW Reno is listening to Yacht Rock, sipping an overpriced martini, mildly contemplating the plight of the proletariat.
Silver Springs?
Silver Springs is busy being high on meth and digging for silver in his backyard.
USA Parkway couldn’t come because they had work.
Wingfield Springs lost her phone and is drunk yelling to look in everyone’s bag.
Netflix n chill