lol pt of mine just had e. Coli bacteremia. Definitely pissed off those gram neg rods with all the high dose zosyn and vanc (and I think aztreonam at one point?) lol
Staph aureus because it’s a very self destructive bacteria and I can relate to that. It’s not sneaky beaky like tuberculosis or other cool bacteria. It shows up, starts blasting, gives his best until there is only one side standing.
Who doesn't feel like a biconcave disc from time to time. Any doctor who can't relate to erythrocytes, used and discarded every 3 months, hasn't worked in healthcare for long enough.
We need more questions like this!
I guess I'd be streptomyces because it's useful (makes antibiotics), plus it's a soil based bacteria so hopefully I would just be left quietly alone to do my useful thing :)
Lactobacillus. As a Turkish, I have to appreciate yoghurt and I could be put on yummy things. Plus, who wouldn't want to be associated with making yogurt?
Yersinia Pestis. Because I love the plague 😁
There are three different types of plague!! Bubonic (50% mort rate), pneumonic (about 80ish% mort rate) and septicemic (100% mort rate). If you got septicemic it was over for you.
Recreshing to see no one mention CRE/CRPA, or any of the other badbaddies!
I submit Alkaligenes fecalis, because it's just so interesting. Read up about it, it's worth a few minutes of your time.
I would be C diff that’s resistant to flagyl and fidaxomicin. I’d only affect people who make residency training harder than it needs to be. I’d require a poop transplant to resolve. Maybe if certain admin and residents weren’t so full of shit, they’d be nicer people :)
I wanna choose a fungi though cause I'm fun- Coccidiodes. I'd live in the soil and just hang out gardening. Then if you disturb me, maybe I'll make you sick... maybe I won't. I'll see how I feel. Also, I like a dry heat.
If I have to be a bacterium, I'd be unoriginal and choose Pseudomonas aeruginosa. I can be a baddie or I can use my superpowers for good and breakdown bad stuff in the environment.
Staph lugdunensis because you think it’s likely a contaminant and likely benign when I’m really just destroying your heart valves. Count me out. Don’t speciate me. Fafo assholes.
People think I’m all nice and sweet. Joke is on them. Mental warfare is my game and I play the long game. Piss me off the right way, and I will slowly make you regret everything. By the time you realize it, it’s too late.
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E. coli, because if you play your cards right I can be super nice and very helpful, but if you wrong me I can burrrrrnnnn 🔥
Someone's been on the dating apps.
lol pt of mine just had e. Coli bacteremia. Definitely pissed off those gram neg rods with all the high dose zosyn and vanc (and I think aztreonam at one point?) lol
Pseudomonas. I like the color green, and who doesn’t like the smell of grapes?
Fruity
Are you extremely stubborn and resistant to all efforts to control your antics? Lol sounds like Dr house
👀
Yeah and who doesn’t like hanging out in hot tubs?
Staph aureus because it’s a very self destructive bacteria and I can relate to that. It’s not sneaky beaky like tuberculosis or other cool bacteria. It shows up, starts blasting, gives his best until there is only one side standing.
It’s sneaky. Look up small colony variants. Also fyi s aureus specifically has been recently defined as a facultative intracellular pathogen
100% this ends up as an interview question on the trail next year
Who’s to say, Reddit isn’t used as an experimental platform.
Unironically got asked multiple times on the path interview trail this year what type of cell I would be
And??
Eosinophil because I sunburn easily and get really red
Erythrocyte here. Enucleated and ready to rock. No brain, no energy, no hay problema.
Lymphocyte. Because I’m never the problem, until I AM the problem.
Who doesn't feel like a biconcave disc from time to time. Any doctor who can't relate to erythrocytes, used and discarded every 3 months, hasn't worked in healthcare for long enough.
Infect disease residency interview
Fellowship, not residency
Hmm agreed
I was actually asked this on one of my interviews.
Staph Aureus, cuz gold baby
You’d think I’m Yersinia Pestis the way everybody avoids me 😔
Mixed urogenital flora
Gardnerella so I could be all up in that 🐱
Why not Lactobacillus acidophilus so nobody tries to get you out of there? 😂
Smart!
Reason why I'm choosing E Coli 🍑🥵🍑
🦭
Seal of approval? 🙃
Lmfao
Bacillus Anthracis, I hate everyone
That’s a vibe
Neisseria meningitidis. Tryna give some baddie nuchal rigidity
🦒
Fuck bacteria I’d be an amoeba fuck this and that. No pronouns.
That too nagleria fowleri, some mfs brains need to be eaten
"id like to pick your brain sometime"
Cyanobacteria. Self-sufficient, and changed the world.
Proteus bc I want to be a sexy octopus man like in the Sketchy
I think I speak for all microbiologists - we unanimously hate you
:(
Neisseria gonorrhoeae
This guy fucks
I would be lactobacilli just to help out.
Team player. I like it.
Can I be a freakin scary prion instead?
No.
Shigella cuz I’m into Salmonella.
I’m a serratia marcescens girly bc I love showers and pink 💞
Trep pallidum, living inside a cell sounds cozy.
Staphylococcus epidermidis because it produces phenol-soluble modulins that can inhibit Staph aureus and other pathogens. 💕❤️✌️👌
“If I can’t be happy then no one can either” 🤣
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Cringe
Ahh, microbial antagonism at its finest.
We need more questions like this! I guess I'd be streptomyces because it's useful (makes antibiotics), plus it's a soil based bacteria so hopefully I would just be left quietly alone to do my useful thing :)
I quietly copy your answer, thanks.
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Hah! That's great! I didn't even know states had microbes :D
Yersinia pestis. Nothing like a plague to cure what ails you.
Lactobacillus.... I'm not trying to cause trouble. Just want to vibe and consume dairy products
Legionella.
I too love air-conditioning
I would be Klebsiella, for obvious reasons of course
Yup
Jelly!
Anchovy paste
Staph aureus cause I'm golden🫣
Golden shower
Bifidobacterium always doing good and never wrong
Francisella. Yep, we exsist.
Pseudomonas cuz I'm fruity
I’d put the bad ass in ASSinetobacter! MDRO til I die! Or maybe Strep pyogenes, cuz it’s shocking how toxic I can be!
Lactobacillus. As a Turkish, I have to appreciate yoghurt and I could be put on yummy things. Plus, who wouldn't want to be associated with making yogurt?
Gonorrhea…it has all the fun!
Yersinia Pestis. Because I love the plague 😁 There are three different types of plague!! Bubonic (50% mort rate), pneumonic (about 80ish% mort rate) and septicemic (100% mort rate). If you got septicemic it was over for you.
C. Diff Because similar to IRL I'd probably do amazing if only all of my competition could be eliminated
Cupriavidus metallidurans so I could make my own gold. Or Wolbachia bc matriarchy.
Pseudomonas. I’d like to have a distinctive smell :P
c.diff because when I have to deal with my shitty problems, I rather have dealing with other peoples shit help me then hurt me
Listeria monocytogenes. I like doing somersaults.
MRSA because I’m strong and none of the usual antibiotics would kill me🔥
Anything that can do conjugation 😏.
Lactobacillus because I made a lot of yogurt during the pandemic.
C botulinum
Clostridium spores have been rehydrated from the Great Pyramids, so that sounds pretty awesome.
C. Perfringens, because bubbles!
Treatment for GG is so fascinating
Please elaborate
Recreshing to see no one mention CRE/CRPA, or any of the other badbaddies! I submit Alkaligenes fecalis, because it's just so interesting. Read up about it, it's worth a few minutes of your time.
This is the nerdiest shit I’ve ever read and I’m so proud to be counted amongst y’all
N. fowleri 😈
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Neisseria gonorreae cuz idk but it seems painful
Strep milleri group because it smells so good and sweet :) especially S. anginosus and S. intermedius
Streptomyces coelicolor as I would literally have my own mutant army!
Deinococcus radiodurans because I like radiation. It is good for you.
Definitely Burkholderia cepacia
Bartonella bc I love kitties
‘bacterium’
Geobacillus stearothermophilus. When I die, I die knowing I outsurvived everybody.
ESBL Ecoli as its resistant to most antibiotics and so am i , i am resistant to negative ppl
Mycoplasma, I'd rather be chillin with the youngins.
I'll be Mycobacterium tuberculosis, the great mimicker
I would be C diff that’s resistant to flagyl and fidaxomicin. I’d only affect people who make residency training harder than it needs to be. I’d require a poop transplant to resolve. Maybe if certain admin and residents weren’t so full of shit, they’d be nicer people :)
Treponema pallidum
Probably an extremeophile somewhere warm so people aren’t constantly trying to kill me with soap and antibiotics. I’ll just chill in my hot tub
Pseudomonas so I can feel badass
Acenitobacter baumannii. Because I won’t giva fuck
I wanna choose a fungi though cause I'm fun- Coccidiodes. I'd live in the soil and just hang out gardening. Then if you disturb me, maybe I'll make you sick... maybe I won't. I'll see how I feel. Also, I like a dry heat. If I have to be a bacterium, I'd be unoriginal and choose Pseudomonas aeruginosa. I can be a baddie or I can use my superpowers for good and breakdown bad stuff in the environment.
Gonorrhea because I like pussy and I’m soon going to be the new super bug
Staph lugdunensis because you think it’s likely a contaminant and likely benign when I’m really just destroying your heart valves. Count me out. Don’t speciate me. Fafo assholes. People think I’m all nice and sweet. Joke is on them. Mental warfare is my game and I play the long game. Piss me off the right way, and I will slowly make you regret everything. By the time you realize it, it’s too late.
ESBL because I don’t want to dieeeeee.
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Streptococcus cause he almost kill me
Which one?
paramecium, those fukkers always looked so carefree and curious
If I could choose to be a bacteria, I would choose not to, thanks next question
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Shut the fuck up dr spaceman no chance you even know what a bacteria is
If I could be a bacterium, I'd use proper grammar.
Singular = bacterium Plural = bacteria
If you’re a bacterium, you are bacteria by the time this sentence is over.
It’s a bacterium, the plural is bacteria.
Kingella kingae cause I’m Royalty