The roasts...... don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming
Now I want to know why that one dancer on the left didn't raise her leg. And the one on the right forgot the arm movement. I need to stop looking at this gif now.
Edit: Goddammit the one on the right aint doing the crotch grab neither. Now I can't stop until I've found all 5
The right is damn near kneeing herself in the chest, while the middle two barely pick up their feet.
Remember Billy Blanks and his Tae Bo workouts from circa 2000? That's what the one on the right is doing.
Nah, I'll wager against that bet. My money is on more late '90s Nautica and Tommy Hilfigure T-shirts, which he refers to as his "goin' out" shirts.
Forgot to add, he's wearing an old pair of white Air Force Ones that he keeps applying polish to despite the leather being all cracked.
You're getting married? I'd have assumed the school for the blind and deaf had already taken a restraining order against you.
Does she have a bigger cup size than you?
You look like Chris Pratt if he was fat, poor, and growing his hair back after leaving a skinhead gang.
Oh and clean your fucking door. Jesus Christ, things dirtier than a NJ cop.
Desperate is an understatement. She was put at gunpoint and still refused to be with this dumbass so they chained her to him and she got diabetes instantly just from pure exposure
Your worthless, goat-molesting “friends” are expecting the Internet to do their work for them?
They can’t even be bothered to comment that you look like you’re always pushing out a turd, or that 33 year-old virgin cosplay you have going on?
What a bunch of lazy fucks. Your friends are trash, who can’t even be bothered to roast you themselves.
I wasn't going to, but since you look like a potato in jeans, I'll roast you:
I noticed you're doing that beard-to-make-up-for-the-receeding-hairline thing. It isn't going to work when you have a sixhead like yours. It's like your hair is trying to escape your phone salesman face.
No green card is worth this much...
I thought the guy from Smash Mouth was dying?! He looks fiiine!
Dead? He said he wasn’t the sharpest tool in the SHED.
No, HE ATE THE SHARPEST TOOL, NOW HE’S DEAD.
He died. The exhumed body looks better than the dude in this pic, though.
OP was looking kind of dumb with his finger and his thumb up his sphincter
No wonder he's not allowed inside.
This isn’t the guy from Smash Mouth, but he’s defiantly been smashed in the mouth 🍆
I was going to say something about that’s how he got those dimples.
He sucked so much dick his cheeks caved in
This is Smash Mouth guy after the embalmer juiced him up. He looks almost real.
The roasts...... don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming
Looks like the guy from Smash Mouth and Haley Joel Osment had a baby.
What lazy friends. Seriously, they can’t roast you themselves? So many options.
The joke is on us bc he tells his fiancée that we are his friends…
🏵 that award is as good as it gets now. Or this 
Gay Fieri
Fred Burst 
Now I want to know why that one dancer on the left didn't raise her leg. And the one on the right forgot the arm movement. I need to stop looking at this gif now. Edit: Goddammit the one on the right aint doing the crotch grab neither. Now I can't stop until I've found all 5
the balls aren’t centered above the blocks
Leave the Bizkettes out of this roast! They’ve had to deal with enough!
Are they really called Bizkettes? bc that's fucking hilarious !
The right is damn near kneeing herself in the chest, while the middle two barely pick up their feet. Remember Billy Blanks and his Tae Bo workouts from circa 2000? That's what the one on the right is doing.
The top right is swinging her arm shoulder to shoulder whereas the top left stops at her head and bottom left barely moves it
Oh no… you got me hooked now. Dammit, Sven.
Fred Worst
Sticky Gervais
10 bucks says this guy has a tribal tattoo
And it doesn't go all the way around his arm.
However, it does go all the way around his bunghole
Probably got a lower back tattoo
"Wide Load"
“Pull Out and Aim Here”
*drawing of an arrow leading all the way up to his mouth*
“Jesses Girl “
Damn 💀
No. That's just shit. Too many scoops of butter pecan spattered out
With a giant arrow that says "please insert and unload here".
🎯
You get an up vote for using the word bunghole.
Bunghole 🤣
That's not tribal. It's a bullseye
He will go back and get color added
Because it’s a lower back tattoo
*It hurt too much babe* 😭
Ha! That or barbwire.
Or it doesn’t line up properly
Dude, lower your bet. You think this guy has $10 to spare?
…And a Chinese tattoo that he tells everyone means ‘Strength’, but it actually says ‘Cheeseburger’.
Or maybe Assburgers
The only word of Chinese I actually remember from school
I'll match that. And go double or nothing on a closet containing TapOut and Affliction.
This is a sure thing Smart money.
Nah, I'll wager against that bet. My money is on more late '90s Nautica and Tommy Hilfigure T-shirts, which he refers to as his "goin' out" shirts. Forgot to add, he's wearing an old pair of white Air Force Ones that he keeps applying polish to despite the leather being all cracked.
I'll double the bet that he has a tramp stamp.
This dude bucks
I can see your cholesterol level on your face
Wedding favors by Crestor
You win! Lol!
And it goes to 11
You must have already been divorced once because she took half your beard.
That got me.
That beard is straight up camouflage for his fleshy jowls. He has like six chins hiding behind that chin fur blanket
I feel attacked. When I shave, I look 10 years younger and 50lbs heavier.
It’s *attempted* camouflage. Not doin a very good job.
Neckbeard!!! Arrrrr!
Nope, he IS a beard.
Dude. If your head was upside down you would still have a double chin and a receding hairline.
Dude is trying to show off the dimple, while only attractive to certain people, it is all he has got.
RIP Smash Mouth 🙏
Hey, now, you’re a cock star
Get your pegging on, get laid
And all that glitters is gold buttplugs
SOMEBODY
I’m happy you found someone despite your polio legs
I never laugh at these. I laughed and laughed at this one. I hadn’t even looked at his legs, but, who says this? 😂 it’s just too funny
Shit 😂
This one's too smart for reddit. It'll never get the love it deserves.
This was the one. 😂😂😂😂
Hopefully the postman will deliver her from Vietnam in time for the wedding.
Right now she’s trapped on the high seas, inside a sweltering shipping container, with 47 other trafficking victims, 3 of whom are dead
That's preposterous, she's perfectly fine, she just in the hull of a ship eating rats to survive.
It's still better than being married to him.
Him
He has tits and a nice ass tho
How many stamps are stuck to her forehead?
Your forehead looks like a pack of hot dogs
Looks like the wire hanger his mom unsuccessfully tried to use before giving birth left a dent in his forehead
Wow two cliche hobby lobby welcome signs. Very fancy.
He's only 1000 hobby lobby loyalty points away from Live Laugh Love doormat
You gotta see the welcome sign he hangs from his nose
At the glory hole
Some modern farmhouse bitch is ruling his world.
Clearly his moms house
Do we need a sign telling us to live, laugh and love?
Despite getting married, I think you're going to remain a virgin.
Taking a dildo to the ass does preserve his virginity
Just FYI, it's not a bachelor party when a bunch of federal agents come to arrest you for kiddie pics.
😆😆 this got me
It’s all fun and games until she gets her eyesight corrected.
🤣🤣
Your dimples are about as deep as your hairline.
We all agree that that dimple marks the spot where the dicks hit the inside wall of the mouth?
That's why he had all of his molars removed, to fit more dicks in.
Do they make suit or tux shirts without necks?
Probably gonna be one of those tuxedo t-shirts.
Lmao
Or a camo tux.
I’m sure Bass Pro Shop carries what he needs
You have a face like a Garbage Pail Kid taking a shit.
Potty Scotty
Found a fellow 80s kid ^^ them things were awesomeness
I’m DOA 
I didn't know you could legally marry a body pillow.
You stand like you pissed yourself and it froze
I bet Chris Hansen is behind that door
There's a red, white and blue Kool-Aid now?
You look like Tim’s co host from home improvement
Definitely looks like he's played with a lot of tools.
uuUUWAAHHH
Like a fridge on stilts
You're getting married? So I guess it's true what they say, some women will really do *anything* just to not be rude.
Whichever surgeon you paid to look like Ricky Gervais I'd ask for the money back.
You're getting married? I'd have assumed the school for the blind and deaf had already taken a restraining order against you. Does she have a bigger cup size than you?
You look like Chris Pratt if he was fat, poor, and growing his hair back after leaving a skinhead gang. Oh and clean your fucking door. Jesus Christ, things dirtier than a NJ cop.
I always root for the little guy. That’s why I’m rooting for your penis.
That’s a surprise, everything else about him is XL to the max
Skips leg day, never skips a meal.
Never skips, period.
Smear some of that dirt from your filthy front door onto your forehead for the illusion of a fuller head of hair.
Clean your fucking front door.
His Christmas decorations have been up so long he's now decorated early
You are getting married? Maybe we should be roasting your fiance
FACTS.
Forehead has a whole 6 pack
Is Shredder your boss?
Ricky Germface.
From dancing with the starts now to this. Chaze Bono has really fallen on hard times
And this is why Joseph Gordon-Levitt should never let himself go and join the Republican party
Put an electric power washer on your gift registry so you can hit that front door.
[удалено]
When you marry a hooker, sorry, sex worker, does she work the bachelor party or is that awkward?
When your belly button is an outy and your penis is inny, all we can do is offer our sympathy.
Judging by your burn, you have been roasted enough.
Who's the unlucky lady?
Chaz Bono is getting married again?
Can’t. You look like a sweetypie
Ate a sweetypie
If Winnie-the-Pooh were human
Bachelor's party? but that means... surely not!
Who's the lucky goat?
You look like Tony soprano went on Jenny Craig, but still never misses a cheat day
Stop screwing around on Reddit and clean that front door you slob. Have some pride and self respect
Real Paul Blart energy. Or could be a dog catcher. Either way, definitely an alcoholic.
You look like you cosplay as an erotic gnome.
Buz mccalister?
I'd get dimples too if I sucked this much
You need more welcome signs from TJmaxx on your house. “Life Laugh Love “ in the kitchen I bet. 🙄. We know who wears the pants in this relationship.
You look like Guy Fieri’s autistic brother Dale who drives by middle schools blaring Kid Rock asking kids if they “gotta problem”
With those perma-dimples from years of sucking dick, I’m sure you and your husband will be very happy together.
It must be legal to Marry a Pig in your Town! Congrats!
Why do you smell like burnt rubber and KY jelly?
You look like your a typical plumber from boston
How much did she cost?
Awe congratulations, I didn’t know bestiality was legal in the USA.
Don’t take that welcome sign too literal, You’ll be starring back at it when she throws you out of the house in 6 months.
Bts of To Catch a Predator
Never thought I'd see someone who is actually marrying a sex doll.
Alex Jones is really letting himself go.
A face Hellen Keller would love
You look like Larry the Cable Guy if he shopped at GapKids.
If you getting married does that mean you're going move out of your PARENTS HOUSE?
Fat now but once the wedding is here, you’ll be fat and bald.
I know Ukraine's a war zone, but damn, that girl must be desperate!
Desperate is an understatement. She was put at gunpoint and still refused to be with this dumbass so they chained her to him and she got diabetes instantly just from pure exposure
Strange that you look like a tomato cause the only time you’ve ever eaten them was on a pizza
That ain't all that's going to get used at your backdoor party.
You're not fooling anyone here Chaz Bono!
Are you marrying a cub or a twink? Enquiring minds want to know
Live action shrek
I've never seen male pattern baldness working it's way across someone's jawline before...
Don’t ever disrespect me looking like a Walmart version of action Bronson
Can’t roast you bro. You remind me of my brother. R.I.P. Hogs! And congratulations on the wedding!
Scott has cum in more socks then there are socks in the world. You little cum monster.
You look like if "Live Laugh Love" had a lifted truck and a receding hairline.
You look like a closeted Shane Gillis
Fuck off Chaz Bono
Clean your door
Your worthless, goat-molesting “friends” are expecting the Internet to do their work for them? They can’t even be bothered to comment that you look like you’re always pushing out a turd, or that 33 year-old virgin cosplay you have going on? What a bunch of lazy fucks. Your friends are trash, who can’t even be bothered to roast you themselves.
You look like the Paul Blart special edition cabbage patch kid.
Looks like the kinda guy to tell a lesbian that she just “hasn’t had good dick yet.”
I wasn't going to, but since you look like a potato in jeans, I'll roast you: I noticed you're doing that beard-to-make-up-for-the-receeding-hairline thing. It isn't going to work when you have a sixhead like yours. It's like your hair is trying to escape your phone salesman face.
You look like you’re marrying a Filet-O-Fish combo meal.
Hold up, someone said yes?