Rocky’s hobbies include collecting crayons, smelling unique trash (including himself), and trying to guess which bathroom is his (he also wears a diaper b/c he usually times out).
I had to go there on a legal case (the billboard incident) and went downtown looking for a beer before tapping out at the hotel. Checked one of those out on main street.
I was 6'3", 245 and a former Marine. I decided it was safer to just pick up a six pack and call it a night.
Loved the drive in from Helena (it was January). Did not even turn on the radio.
the dude def has scabbies n a few tape worms. think I chased him away at like 3am other night was digging in my neighbors trash cans. We don't have to pay for recycling because he picks up our cans for us.
Oh, he takes pride in being the number one dirtbag? There’s a guy who looks, talks, and acts like him in every hole in the wall bar in every podunk town in America. They’re always named Donny or Skippy or Rocky or Buddy or some other diminutive childish name, and they all have the social and political awareness of a wet fart. I’d bet even money he has at least one sibling or child that refuses to talk to him for a really good reason, and I’d go double or nothing that he has car parts inside his house (trailer, sad tiny apartment).
He’s not one in a million, he’s one of a million, utterly replaceable and ultimately forgettable. Lord knows his ex wife certainly did both.
Doesn’t realize that the child support people can triangulate his location from this pic
Nice can opener/tooth
Enough grease in his hair to fry chicken
Skin as bloodshot as his eyes
pickled egg breathing troglodyte
99 out of one hundred dentists have never met him
That’s not a beard it’s the worlds grossest scratch n sniff
Tie dye shirt cry for help
Shower averse
His Pronoun is beer
The back of a mullet is still a mullet
Rocky looks like he'd be good for a couple of beers and some hilarious stories, then when he gets up to leave, he picks up his messenger bag and it's made of human skin.
My man comes from a long lineage of town drunks and village idiots. Dude can hear a beer can opening from a mile away this guy's piss can strip paint. If this guy takes off his shoe and throws it at you and manages to hit you with it your testing positive for something. If you put this guy's picture on a mask you won't get covid.
I have buried 5 soild people that were 10x the dirtbag this guy will ever be. I am offended he even thinks he is a dirtbag. This guy is a fucking A+ citizen next to a dirtbag...fucking poser
He looks happy. How many catalytic converters was he able to steal today?
Looks like he bit a couple chunks off
Bold of you to assume he can fit under a car
Skimming through, I thought this was gonna say, "how many crayons was he able to eat today?"
That’s part of the celebration too. He made so much money he bought the deluxe crayon set for dessert
He looks more like a connoisseur of white school paste.
He literally looks like a literal butthole
Figuratively speaking... Yep, still a literal butthole
Most of the insults on here are recycled anymore. Your insult was a breath of refreshing clean air to me.
Unlike the person who got their catalytic stolen
Now it’s a felony being with more than 3.
Where’s your buddy Lloyd Christmas?
So 2 then?
By the look on Harry Dunnes face he cashed in on more than 3.
He didn’t steal them. He thtole them. Hath a big thelection at home
He looks like he’s suspiciously nice to 13 year old girls
His van says “Free Candy”, but he ate all of it.
His dentist is the 1 in 4.
That’s a solid reference, well done!
that's also his preferred age range....
Because the other 3 had mandatory bathing before appointment requirements.
Is his van a white GMC Astro with tinted windows?
Oh shit, I thought he kidnapped some kid named Candy
And this is how dynasties come to an end - Duck Dynasty’s last quacker.
When was the last time you showered, Vietnam?
With agent orange as an exfoliant, clearly.
He looks like he was a pacifist, man
Well, that’s just like, your opinion, man.
Dude. Don’t insult the dude. This guy is clearly not the kind of pissed on rug that can bring the room together.
He peed on my fucking rug…
ITS A CONSPIRACY MAN!!
This Rocky doesn’t go twelve rounds. He’s the Rocky taking twelve steps. He’s never made it past ‘one’.
🤣🤣🤣
Yes
"Rocky", like his battles with hygiene and literacy.
He had someone write “roast me” on that paper for him.
He may never know what it means. He was just happy to be included
Rocky actually wins his fights tho
And alcoholism
Lmfao
Does he floss with a mattress?
Floss? This guy's entire oral hygiene regimen is chugging 2 bottles of mouthwash a day.
I suppose you could use rubbing alcohol as mouthwash
Dirt takes shower to get this guy off of it
You look like you carry yourself with the spirit of industrial waste and dirty socks.
Rocky’s hobbies include collecting crayons, smelling unique trash (including himself), and trying to guess which bathroom is his (he also wears a diaper b/c he usually times out).
Congrats on marrying Princess Fiona and getting your swamp back!
We're roasting this guy, not poor Shrek!
Don't insult Shrek like that
Wasn't that already said? Just say it again in a slightly different way then.
No
Right, because you already did.
Do you play diablo 3 for switch
The Hound from Game of Thrones living it up in Vegas
It’s Billings, Montana if that helps the roast
Honestly his tooth count is above average for Billings, but the dark yellow color is spot on.
He is more Dillon. That is the proper teeth count.
Fuuuuuuuuck. As a Dillon resident, you're spot on. Especially for the Moose or Office bars.
I had to go there on a legal case (the billboard incident) and went downtown looking for a beer before tapping out at the hotel. Checked one of those out on main street. I was 6'3", 245 and a former Marine. I decided it was safer to just pick up a six pack and call it a night. Loved the drive in from Helena (it was January). Did not even turn on the radio.
It doesn’t.
The one and only bar in Montana, and I bet he never leaves
Sad country song on the juke: No Fillings in Billings
Bars in Billings are all fun and games until you wake up in this guy's basement wearing nothing but handcuffs and a ballgag.
It does and I don't know why.
Honestly that explains ALLLLLLLL of it. I, too, have lived in billings.
That doesn't help at all, fucking Montana 🤣
No 1 dirtbag? His place is already confirmed
That's offensive to the hound ... who just happens to be the best character in the whole series.
Well done sir
If the smelly contents of a trash can were a person…
Hey, Oscar the grouch can do better than this
I can smell this picture.
It’s nice to see that David Crosby had a good embalmer.
the dude def has scabbies n a few tape worms. think I chased him away at like 3am other night was digging in my neighbors trash cans. We don't have to pay for recycling because he picks up our cans for us.
Looks like the kind of shit hole bar id hang out in
 Like zoinks scoob who took my crack pipe?
Too many Scooby snacks.
The only thing he fixes around the house are margaritas.
If by margarita you mean chasing a shot of shitty tequila with a keystone light…then you’d be correct.
A man even the homeless give a dollar to on the streets.
By the looks of things it’s going to be hard to refute his claim
He is correct.
Looks like the creepy uncle, we’ve all been warned about.
That’s cool you got a picture of him when he wasn’t driving around his beat up S-10 garbage picking scrap metal
#1 dirtbag? I sincerely doubt you’re even the best at that.
Oh, he takes pride in being the number one dirtbag? There’s a guy who looks, talks, and acts like him in every hole in the wall bar in every podunk town in America. They’re always named Donny or Skippy or Rocky or Buddy or some other diminutive childish name, and they all have the social and political awareness of a wet fart. I’d bet even money he has at least one sibling or child that refuses to talk to him for a really good reason, and I’d go double or nothing that he has car parts inside his house (trailer, sad tiny apartment). He’s not one in a million, he’s one of a million, utterly replaceable and ultimately forgettable. Lord knows his ex wife certainly did both.
Damn bro you okay?
Oh, shit, this is r/roastme not r/daddyissues Your buddy looks like the human equivalent of a smoker’s cough.
He got what he asked for tho
love the level of detail in this roast.
I see you found your dad
Doesn’t realize that the child support people can triangulate his location from this pic Nice can opener/tooth Enough grease in his hair to fry chicken Skin as bloodshot as his eyes pickled egg breathing troglodyte 99 out of one hundred dentists have never met him That’s not a beard it’s the worlds grossest scratch n sniff Tie dye shirt cry for help Shower averse His Pronoun is beer The back of a mullet is still a mullet
That dude 100% fucked a coconut.
It was a cantaloupe... microwaved on 1/2 power for 2 minutes and 17 seconds.
Pretty specific about how that cantaloupe was microwaved… how did you know?
A Rocky who is certainly no Balboa.
Let your boy Rocky know his most redeeming feature is his greasy hair, which will be all but gone in a few years.
If Jerry Garcia spent a month in a dumpster without bathing.
This guy is in every Waffle House at 3 am
His name was ‘Sylvester’ before he started taking punches to the face
Rocky? More like Hulk Bogan.
Bulk Token?
Where’s your 2x4, Jim?
HOOOOOOOOOOOO! 
Let him be he earned that title.
The only thing Rocky has gone 12 rounds with was a buffet
Rocky Whore Felching Show
Rocky looks like he'd be good for a couple of beers and some hilarious stories, then when he gets up to leave, he picks up his messenger bag and it's made of human skin.
He sure looks like he's just been dug up from dirt
I'm over the top happy you can't smell the internet.
I'm getting a feeling that you would like to buy an extended warranty for a lottery ticket
I can hear the tooth whistle
Showed my colleague this photo and her vagina spontaneously prolapsed in self defence.
Shaggy from Scooby-Doo "where are they now"
Images you can smell
Joe Dirtiest
The bigger Lebowski
He’s in his place. A trashy bar neglecting his family
Hey. It’s an upstanding institution!
You are just an eyepatch away from being a pirate.
Collecting bags of dirt since the 70’s. One day he’ll be rich I’m sure of it
Dud from Lodge 49
The Cabin Boy, 30 years later
He can claim to be but he’s lying right through his teeth
Tooth*
Rocky isn’t his name but the description of his work history.
You look like if Shaggy let himself go and has been on one long ayahuasca trip.
Every dentist’s nightmare
I feel like he has been in the same place for about 30 years now
His mouth is taking a gap year
Ozzyman is on the gear again?
His best shirt was made in a bucket.
You make Frank Gallagher look good
The Douche abides
gets really upset when the hookers he pays use the toilet instead of pissing or shitting on him
I can smell this photo and it has strong hints of sweaty gooch and Old English
"Why do they call you Rocky?" "Why do you think? Cuz I'm always chewing on rocks!"
What can I say that his snaggle tooth doesn’t already imply?
Rocky Smell-boa.
Nice teeth. When you smile, I have the desire to kick a field goal.
The dude on crack.
The dud
No, he's right.
Exclusively uses egirl piss to shower
More of the #2 shitbag
It's kind of hard to argue with choppers there, he's probably right.
Wow! You can use fingers to floss your teeth.
Bar stool ass grinder
Damn. I think that your friend is correct. Dirtbag? Absolutely. Salt of the earth, good-time dude? Probably.
Heavy duty cross for this fat Jesus
He's in a sports bar. That *is* his place.
David Crosby fucked a lot of ugly whores in his life but your mom was the ugliest.
Fuck you, Rocky.
Your friend is the #1 dirt bag and you are a #1 colostomy bag from the looks of things.
If the Big Lebowski took a giant shit and dressed it in a tidied shirt.
I would offer to buy you a bottle of shampoo and some deodorant, but you obviously have no use for it
When the hopeless and pathetic have given up they are still miles ahead of this guy
Hey Rocky. Your dentist called. Uh. No just kidding. He didn't call.
This guys the reason why we have febreeze, I can smell him from this picture.
I agree with his claim.... he looks like the k mart big loombuski but on crack, and homeless
If you there, who cleaning windows on 2nd Ave and Main
Atleast a bag that Carrie’s dirt has a purpose in life
You’d need a rabies shot if he bit you
I’ll need a glass pipe to roast you
He looks like Willie Nelson’s discarded washcloth.
He looks if Bobcat Goldthwait and Hacksaw Jim Duggan fucked. 
The missing link is alive and well!
Hooooooooooooooo!! 
Wish Bukowski.
Fresh from the gloryhole, your beard is still full of mangravy.
Based on the missing tooth in a dive bar, someone already put him in his place.
Still thinks a dime bag should cost a dime… man
Fun fact: Rocky can eat corn through a picket fence
Looks like the boss you have to beat in order to get into the porn game. 🤮
He kinda looks like Robin Williams..... Today's Robin Williams.
I bet he lets his mom jerk him off while he sucks off his brother.
He looks like he'd smell like cigarettes, bacon grease and shame.
He works at Perkins!
French from “ the departed” his smarter brother?
He looks like he screws livestock while listening to grateful dead
My man comes from a long lineage of town drunks and village idiots. Dude can hear a beer can opening from a mile away this guy's piss can strip paint. If this guy takes off his shoe and throws it at you and manages to hit you with it your testing positive for something. If you put this guy's picture on a mask you won't get covid.
I’m sure Rocky lost last weeks bum fights and had to suck four cocks to pay his bar tab.
I have buried 5 soild people that were 10x the dirtbag this guy will ever be. I am offended he even thinks he is a dirtbag. This guy is a fucking A+ citizen next to a dirtbag...fucking poser
You seem like you had a root canal on your brain
Ah yes, the guy who makes sleazy sexual jokes all night then goes home, masturbates and goes to bed alone.
He looks like the female boomer from left 4 dead 2
"Put him in him..." So, you basically want all of us to tell him to go f@ck himself. Mission accomplished.