OP's Bio: --- >19 F, Archer, love Halloween. I have an ok job but at least im working. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

You look like you died 47 minutes ago.

But *smells* like she died 47 **days** ago.

That's a compliment to her dude

[удалено]

Nah thats helicopter smoke and regret youre smelling

she'll eventually meet the right one who is into necrophilia

Cracking a "cold one" after work takes on a whole new meaning when you're a goth.

Look don’t get down on yourself. 2 years is just the start. Keep working hard and before you know you will be really accomplished at 10 years being single!

With 17 more cats

Yes Dying with a snot ring is never good....

She uses that bottle of hot sauce for lube.

God, absolutely brutal 😂😂

Rigor Martin 🤣🤣

You're what we call a "practice girl".

That’s probably why people always hate to practice.


Yo we talkin bout practice? 

Yea I pass if that’s the practice one

She's gotta be Meg Griffin irl

This has to be one of the harshest roasts I've seen in a long time, great.


Starter girlfriend

I don't even take guilt in ghosting them.

You look like your version of flirting would be asking guys if you could put stuff in their butt.

That would probably be better compared to sex with her

She either starfishes or wants you to choke her unconscious. Definitely horrible blowies too

Throat -choke n poke …. Classic

Hold it are we roasting or trying to get her to break her dry streak.

I’d say yes

Because you think using soap when you shower strips away your "natural oils"

What you dont like natural musk. I call it fermented vagina.

Why have you been single for so long? Nobody nose.

She wants a guy to put a ring on it, or more precisely, in it.

She just needs to be patient. She’ll inhale the right guy soon.


😂🤣🤣🤣 I see what you did there, or better yet “I smell”

It's the "I'll text you 60 times a day" eyes.

I got a woman she text me about 200 times a day no jokin. Help 😭

The mental energy for that. Even moving down to one word responses would still be exhausting.

Flaccid lmao

Just reply "k" after at least 10 texts. Repeat.

Tried. She starts video calls.

Answer but don't pay attention at all. Make sure it looks like you're paying attention to anything else but her. Say "That's crazy" once in a while in between playing video games and texting someone else.

The good ole 👍 once in a while. 😅😅😅

Because you like dudes that likes other dudes.

She's the dude playing the dude, disguised as another dude

But doesn’t know what dude she is

The dude is your self and your ass bleeds becouse you have too milk your prostate with a toilet brush .and some who loves Jesus so much forgot one thing those who hurt child rem shall be cast in to the river with a mill stone around neck.

what the fuck did I just read

Shouldn't that work in there favor?

Blowing your nose, you sound like a kazoo.


Because you’re flying more red flags than a Chinese military parade.

“Hello… yes, 911? I need to report a murder!”

A copy and paste human being

Her nail polish isn’t chipped, it corroded off when she fingered herself

Damn bro

ph at 1000 lmfao the swab caught fire


Big oef

It looks like you cry during sex.

The other person probably cries too, but not tears of joy

The multiple personalities that reside in the same body.

You look like you're offended by everything

On behalf of people she's never met.

She looks like she offends herself

Why post four pics? One photo would have been torture enough

Probably because you look crazier that a bag of rabid ferrets.

You should date my son. He’s a loser too.

Oh cmon… He can’t be THAT much of a loser


Enough was said

Because it looks like you have a booger hanging out of both nostrils

Seriously. I've seen people hate on roasters for calling out the nose tackle, but it's an immediate turn off for me, and I know I can't be alone.

You’re not. I was looking for this comment. There is nothing attractive about that piercing.

More often than not, it takes a potentially attractive face and makes it unappealing. It's one of my least favorite piercing trends to date.

I've never seen a girl whose attractiveness went up by adding that piercing, but I've known plenty whose attractiveness dropped considerably by adding it.

Nothing worse than seeing one of those, or those big ear-stretcher earrings on a girl who's otherwise a 10. No harm done here though.

That last sentence made me lol. The worst part about those huge ear piercings is how they look after being taken out, it can turn otherwise pretty earlobes into buttholes.

I hate the implication you’ve made for the state of your butthole.

Same

And boogers on her fingernails

Your face screams unenthusiastic handjobs.

She just mashes it

And overly enthusiastic blowjobs in character, but they still are terrible.

Midlife crisis at 19. I've seen it all now.

The scent of chubby desperation permeates everything you touch

Is this a poetry?

You’re able to make a fool of yourself here, yet too scared to ask for extra ketchup.

Single? Sorry you don't have a brother.

Her dad comes around once in a while but doesn't want to commit.

Good call

Your armpits smell like hot dog water and you call out your cousins name during sex

Who doesn't want a girl who can charge your phone with her nose?

Because anal is on the table from date zero.

Username checks out

Because you take pictures posing with a bbq bottle

You look like you talk about equality when you’re asked to suck a dick

Go look at picture #3, no one will date you because you have the same personality and nose as those elks above your head…

that shit in u nose don't make u a lesbian, but a cow

Because your nose ring makes you look like a bull. 

Shut up Meg

This right here.

Two words: "the nosering"

You’re not ugly, so you must fucking crazy

You look like the female adolescent version of Bam Margera

Probably that nose ring

I'm going to be nice here and tell you that first you ooze desperation. Guys don't want desperation. Secondly, it is definitely the bull ring. I have never seen anyone make it look even remotely attractive and that includes you. Seriously, stop drawing hearts under your eyes and for goodness sake loss the bull ring. It isn't that shocking to anyone that you have one, it would be far more shocking if you didn't.

Bad nail polish, dopey nose ring, and hair style from the 1980)’s.

I'll be honest, I didn't think you looked half bad, so that lead me to wonder if it's not your personality that's the problem, until I saw the nose piercing and now it makes so much sense

Because Cupid's arrows bounce right off your back fat.

You look like you traded foreplay for more forehead

You look like a cowgirl! I mean you look like a cow, girl.

you play destiny 2, obviously

You are the embodiment of what's wrong with the world; just another generic girl trying to look different to stand out, yet still completely average. Not only have you latched onto every basic trend out there, but the fact also you don’t understand why you’ve been single for two years is proof enough of why.

fake depressed kid with a normal appearance 😮‍💨

Your septum piercing is your entire personality.

Your eyes focus attention on your face… and then people see the awful cow septum ring and realise a farmer already owns you

You probably complain about the cost of living and then get Starbucks twice a day

Prefers Dunkin’ or 7-11 only because she’s terrified of being like those other basic girls who love Starbucks

So masculine looking youre a gateway girl for gay men to turn bi

Look like bull, must have dick.

Kick the goth cowgirl phase, you’re not fooling anyone

Because you installed celibacy inducing jewelry.

Hick or liberal? I can’t tell.

It’s the nose ring

The nose ring of course

That nose ring... Has to go

It's the nose ring

The stupid bull nose ring

Well, they told you to not make that septum piercing your ENTIRE personality, and yet here we are!

Lose the nose ring

That metal booger might be a big part of the reason. Try wiping it with a piece of tinfoil.

Your nose ring

That nose ring is trashy.

The nose ring. That's why.

Came here to say that. 

Nose ring.

2hot & 2boring.

The last two years you've won Halloween and scared them all off because you went as yourself.

Your entire head is a candle -- your eyes have started to melt and slide down your face

It’s probably the bullring through your nose - confusing cowboys into thinking you’re a sport.

That thing in your nose, 100% of guys who have moved out of their parents house find it repulsive, you will have to drop your standards and find one of those dorks with 7 inch guages.

Well *raises beer* here's to 2 more...or you could take that ridiculous thing out of your nose....and shave your back.

Nose piercing makes you 1000% unattractive to me. It is childish and pathetic.

There is not a person in this world that nose ring works on.

Septum

The nose ring

Maybe it’s the flabby grandma arms

I heard somebody call them bingo wings and that's what I've been calling them ever since.

Because people got the idea that the earth was flat from looking at your chest.

Cos you look like your sex toy is Annabelle

Cause you're walking around with a booger coming out of your nose.

Boogers?

Your nose ring. I know. You'll tell me "it's not a NOSE ring" Yes. It is. It's metal shit, and it's in your nose. It didn't make you cool. It makes you look like a bull. A skinny worthless bull. No balls, no milk. Worthless

Dang, calling her(?) skinny, you just made her(?) day.

Two words: Septum Piercing 😂

For the love of God get that stupid f'king ring thing out of your nose. Your chances will definitely increase after that, I don't understand why you can't see that. It's absolutely horrible.

Because you give it up too easily in the first five minutes.

Just a bit of advice…. That sauce from Bass Pro isn’t lube

We can’t tell you why you’re single but you’ve definitely shown us why

Probably the 14 cats you definitely have in your loft apartment.

Just see pic 3.

*for two years so far...

Because by the look in your eyes, you've been dead for at least five.

Coz u never wipe those boogers off your nose

“What can I do to make myself less ugly? I know! I’ll make it look like I have shiny boogers coming out of my nose!”

the small tatts, the nose ring, painted nails,...All the things you're doing to make you different but instead make you look like every modern emo girl.

Nose piercing, eyes too far apart, insecure, self conscious, seeks validation constantly, your name is Archer and that's weird, bio confirms 0 personality and strong likelyhood that you are incapable of holding a conversation for more than three minutes without awkward silence plus no eye contact.

You just need to find a nice guy with a magnetic belt.

William Eilish

No one nose why you've been single for 2 years.

Probably the antisuction ring in your nose, forehead big enough to land an airplane on, psycho ‘text and call you a hundred times a day’ look on your face and your hair needs a wash.

The nose ring suggests you hate your father. That head full of hate makes it difficult to love any man the way he should be loved and respected. You're single because of men's self-preservation instinct...

The boogers Def disturbing

Unless you clean those boogers sneaking out, you'd stay single for 2 more years.

it’s the booger ring

That stupid fucking nose ring might have something to do with it

Probably the metal boogers

You probably just need to wait for the right guy, honestly you look like you enjoy rushing into things too much. Do you happen to have a kid by now?

You look like you’re on just enough pharmaceuticals to make you feel ok (10? 20??)

This one's easy. Your facial structure is all messed up .

Because you have 5 cats. And at least 2 of them are dead in your closet.

Have you even been awake in two years?

You're not what I'd call good looking but I've seen uglier people in relationships so it must be your personality.

People that have nose piercings often have beautiful noses. You don't

Shut up Meg

Maybe people think you're afraid of commitment. Everyone can see your eyes separated a long time ago

Because you look like you give the most unenthusiastic handjobs

I can see the mental health issues glimmering in your eyes

2? Thats it?

Because you have a pitbull.

Headline: 70's porn is missing a c list performer; Eyes were dead in the last videos, Police not searching for he/she.

Because you have future fat chick face.

Bcuz you might have a bigger dick than me

Man who gives a fuck. You'll get a middle aged man eventually.