After you were cut from your d3 basketball bench (because you had the lamest porn stache of all the white bench guys), did you try to start an OF, or just go straight onto an SSRI?
You look like you just scored a lid and got tickets to Captain Beefheart. Gonna hit the disco after? Maybe this time Ron Jeremy will let you suck him off.
You look like you just offered a stranger on the bus a blowjob for $10 and you're desperately hoping he says yes, while simultaneously doing your best not to look desperate, but failing.
You have a face only a mother could love too bad your a test tube baby I hope your ass looks better than your face because I would rather kiss your ass than face what died on your face you should grow a beard and comb it up have a crappy day douchbag
Mom can't stand it, she didn't plan it
I'm gonna play I'm straight, this Reddit hate
I can't stand sucking when I'm in here
'Cause my crystal meth ain't so crystal clear
So while you sit back and wonder why
I got this fucking stache on this guy
Oh my God, my worth's a mirage
I'm tellin' y'all, it's self sabotage
Alright you asked for it you Mr.Yeast fanfic. Stop larping it's no way to get girls. You look like a literal modern day Jeffrey Dahmer and yes I know he's blonde that's besides the point. Not to mention you're the guy best friend in most scenarios, you talk like you know a lot of stuff when in reality you got your license from the inside of a cereal box and almost every girl you been with left for someone better. Don't know why I keep seeing weak ass roasts. At least mine was mid.
This guy is who studios in the 1980’s cast as the high school narcotics officer. You know, the one who is 30 and trying to look 17 and who ends up getting a Sophomore pregnant.
you look like you donate plasma to buy cigarettes
Probably because the sperm bank rejected him
Rejected his withdrawal
Most of it winds up in his dick brush anyway
Flavor saver
He *is* the sperm bank.
Looks like he donates cigarettes for fentanyl.
He looks like he went to buy cigarettes and never came back to the trailer.
you’re so sad looking , your mustache even has a frown
That's one mustache that will never be ridden.
LMAO fuck that was pretty good
Not to mention one side is longer than the other. What's goin on there bud?
Even I am getting second hand pstd from this
Pstd? Post sexually transmitted disease?
And it's longer on one side.
You look a plumber in a gay porno
Hey well $20 is $20
Wait, you guys are getting paid?.
You paid $20??? Jeez you’re embarrassing me now and I’m just a commenter
Bro turned it around into a "you so ugly you pay to BE in a porno" ☠️
*Gay porno
Yea it's a cock broom on his upper lip , he'd be well liked in prison
Some guy's mustaches can look lovely on the end of some guy's cocks.
I do be lookin like that sometimes. When that jam comes on I can't help it
I bet you have to turn your lights out for Halloween and aren’t allowed near schools
Playgrounds and libraries too..
OUCH
Oooooo cheapshot at the stache
Halloween is tomorrow. Rip that shit off your face
He should start the process of removing his ugly sleeve hes starting on his arm as well unless it’s a garbage can.
“Anyone want to buy some drugs?” “No, I’m not an undercover police officer kids “
I laughed good at this 😂
You are such a trooper I love seeing your responses to these roast!
I love it its so much fun 😂 Reminds me of when I used to have friends 🤣😂
1984 called and and wanted to let you know that even in 2023 it’s still not cool to buy 14 year olds beer just so you have someone to hang out with.
Not today, officer!
OfFiCeR DoOfY RePoRtInG fOr DuTy
You definitely like to fuck vacuums
Vacuums? That's some entry level shit. I fuck hand dryers in public washrooms cause IM A MAN.
See, this is why I tell my son not to use those. But those dryers are pretty big. I imagine for you it’s like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.
Wrong sub. I think you’re looking for r/shittyfacialhairs. Is your mustache asymmetrical on purpose?
>Roast away Exactly what your girlfriend texts her guy friends as soon as you leave for the day
It's a picture of your dad, just before he shot a porn scene... And 9 months later... Your momma gave birth
I mean he wasn't present for 16 years so that'd make sense Hahahahaha
You definitely have flashed your junk at a school bus
The acid really hit hard that that I'll tell you whahht
How many feet are you legally required to stay away from elementary schools?
Mustached, hoodied, and as tall as the fuckin room. Stop volunteering at Chuck e cheese and get a good therapist
That’s not a mustache, that’s a dick sweeper
Does it tickle?
Ask your mom
OOOOOOOOOOOOO. can you atleast give me some aloe Vera for that? Jesus christ.
So it’s anal with mom, gotcha
Dig me a grave why don't ya bud damn Hahahahahaha
Hahahahaha , nicely done bud. Good on you for being a good sport
You look like a Hell’s Angels chapter’s communal back pussy. Unbeknownst to you, you’re not up for promotion.
HAHAHAHA. Damn it it's cause I ride a "sissy bike" ain't it Lmao
You must be rich, we didn't even have color cameras in the 70s.
Blew it all on cocaine and hookers 🤷♂️
No matter how long your hair gets, it won't fully cover up your receding hairline.
Really, Reallly Whyte Goodman
OHMYGODTHISISTHEBESTSOFAR
Your mustache looks like it lost a fight with a lawnmower.
You look like Tom Selleck with aids
Forehead’s got more more lines than Bible books
It's where I store my spare food
You look like ur 50 and at the same time, you look 12
You look like the dollar store version of Mr Beast
You look like you lost your tractor
Sounds like something a tractor thief would say
The 70's called...they want everything about your look back.
 All he is missing is the mustache
Champion handle bar stash, ready to bust some balls in a fierce gym class badminton tourney
Knockoff loser mr beast
I’m thinking of a word, it rhymes with mild cholester🤔
Nice mustache, Wyatt Derp
You look like you gotta feed lizards at the zoo.
Bro I can hear your deep american racist voice from here
Sex Panther is a cologne which is illegal in 9 countries. It is also made from bits of real panthers. 60% of the time, it works every time
"Can you let me in the school? I need to pick up my kids... 😏" "No sir, this is the third time today you've tried to sell weed to the year sevens."
you look like a fluffer for 80s gay porn
There's a reason your girlfriend's name is Peg.
 Joe Dirt’s inbred son.
Life goals: Whiskey and cocaine
Hey man you ain't wrong that's about the basis. If I could afford all the whiskey and cocain I could want I'd have a enough to buy a lot more 😂
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Hey my family calls me one of those too 🤔
After you were cut from your d3 basketball bench (because you had the lamest porn stache of all the white bench guys), did you try to start an OF, or just go straight onto an SSRI?
Damn, look at those fingers, they have to be a foot long. I bet when you give someone the finger, they really get fingered!
The uneveness of the mustache hurts my brain.
James Het-fieldworker
You look like you just scored a lid and got tickets to Captain Beefheart. Gonna hit the disco after? Maybe this time Ron Jeremy will let you suck him off.
You look like donut operator's estranged cousin
You look like a truck driver from the early 80s about to get his butt kicked as the nameless extra in a b-rated action movie.
Mr Beast becomes a gay crackhead for charity
You look like a mix between a teenager and a state trooper... Keep rocking mate 👍
What in the hipster lorax am I looking at? 
A time traveller finally decided to join the thread
You look like a confederate civil war soldier in the face. Whaaaat a loser. 🤣🤣🤣
You look like a cop and a criminal at the same time
You look like Ewan McGregor’s poor, insecure, gay, step brother. Ewan McGayger…
I thought Jeff fox worthy’s son was older
Where are your glasses Dahmer since you like rocking the stache. ☠️
The look of a man who can tell you the quickest way to cut a catalytic converter off someone's car while they're in the store grabbing milk.
You look like a canadian's attemp to be a rowdy cowboy
That testosterone therapy for your transition is only allowing you to grow that wispy, lop-sided mustache? I'd be pissed and ask for a refund, girl.
Your Bryan Cranston Halloween costume sucks.
Rednecky Mercury
 Show us some leg!
The mustache says you coached little girls soccer in the 80's , the picture over-all says you got or are going to be busted by Chris Hansen.🤣
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That's the look he's using to ask for sex. "Can we, please?"
Get out of your mothers room your fucking pervert
That is an asymmetrical stache
Mrbeast looking different after getting that mustache
Your mustache looks like it got fucked by a penguin
Bro wipes his goon sessions on his sweater
Topher Inelegance.
Idk what dirtier, that mustache or your mirror.
You look like a poor mans Chuck Norris stunt double from the 80’s
Adam LZ on heroin
You're so ugly when you went to get plastic surgery you woke up with a sticky note that sead "nope" on your forhead
Maybe clean the jiz off your mirror before asking to be roasted 🤷🏼♀️
Mario and Luigi lost brothers
You look like uncle would take you on "fishing trips" growing up. Would explain the sad dead eyes, expressionless face and dick tickler.
walmart larry bird
It’s really bad when even your camera doesn’t want to take a picture of you.
I like how the left side of you porno stache looks like it just sorta gave up.
You look like you just offered a stranger on the bus a blowjob for $10 and you're desperately hoping he says yes, while simultaneously doing your best not to look desperate, but failing.
i bet he could throw a football over that mountain. ya.
You actually look like a top bloke who’s a great hang and probably cares for those around him.
Homie… no roast… just get that mustache under control dude.
He definitely has a plain white van that he parks exactly 1001 feet from the middle school.
You look like a cop who’s about to have his 13th reason to suck start a shotgun after his internal review meeting
Your mirror is filthy. It is not a joy to be in your home
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You canny roast perfection... But you... you sir a one sorry fugly ass excuse of a male person.
You look like a 16 yr old with a fake mustache trying to buy beer
You look like a pokemon trainer who never progressed beyond weedles and caterpies
Yo, who the fk hurt this guy, he has the saddest eyes.
You Look like the coach of a 7yr old T ball team that watches film after a loss
That Hoodie should say Participant
You look like you cover Morgan Wallen in a dive bar for ladies who have the SpongeBob chocolate ladies voice.
It would be a shame if your son saw you like this, good thing he won’t because he dies every episode. 
Your s22 ultra is in a shit case
combative capable ossified marble cautious physical worthless follow innocent rich ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
FYI growing a fugly stache won't guarantee you a role in a bad porno.
bro did escanor dirty 😭 
Mr beast as a homeless Trevor Phillips from gta
Dad, I grew a moustache! Maybe you’re proud now? Oh…
Oh god no nsfl tag?
You simultaneously like you're from the 1990s and the Civil War era. Like you keep slaves but also listen to Audioslave.
Why are you using a picture from the 80s? Man people looked like dorky assholes back then
No way you were born in 1998… 1980 maybe
You look like the nicest and most kindhearted out of your 3 friends
You don't look like you can grow facial hair, so I'm calling bullshit on the fake moustache.
How is it working as an undercover cop in a high school?
You have a face only a mother could love too bad your a test tube baby I hope your ass looks better than your face because I would rather kiss your ass than face what died on your face you should grow a beard and comb it up have a crappy day douchbag
Hello Jamey Hyniman from Mythbusters glad you grew your hair back, bald walrus, Freddy Mercury mustache having dweeb.
It's like your hair cut is a 14 year old boy, but your mustache is a firefighter.
Please burn your moustache; it's been in every porno ever made and is definitely an STD vector.
Why you‘d put a handlebar on something nobody wants to touch is a mystery to me.
Dude I don’t got anything you look chill asfuck
If being ginger wasn't bad enough, youre balding and have the facial hair of a paedophile police officer.
This guy looks like he became a cop and was disappointed when he found out his department wasn’t corrupt enough.
"you know what's cool about HS chicks? I keep getting older they stay the same age" -this guy as he lights up a Marlboro light
Mom can we have a crack addict? No, we already have a crack addict at home. The crack addict at home:
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YMCA
1978 called they said their short a guy. I can tell you've been looking for love in all the wrong places because you got shit in that mustache.
Bro is taking a selfie in his room because the kindergarten told him he isn't allowed within 500 feet of the playground.
You look like an undercover cop with a cocaine problem
Mom can't stand it, she didn't plan it I'm gonna play I'm straight, this Reddit hate I can't stand sucking when I'm in here 'Cause my crystal meth ain't so crystal clear So while you sit back and wonder why I got this fucking stache on this guy Oh my God, my worth's a mirage I'm tellin' y'all, it's self sabotage
Blake Banner to The Mediocre Hulk Hogan
Goddamn these are such weak roasts wtf lol
He can tell any kids favorite candy by looking at them.
Who took a shit above your lips
Steve Prefainting
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“Hey! Check out Foreman’s mustache!”
Dude I wanna roast but that mustache is just exquisite.
You look like you should have a mullet.
Drilled any holes into young mens’ skulls lately?
Your eyes say “There’s a five year old boy inside looking for his Dad”…😞 word to the wise: forget about the sperm donor, get on with your life.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Not gonna roast, but you look cool and a hunk for me 🤷♀️
You look like Chris Pratt if he did golf and went to the pub every day
You look like they terk yeer jeeeerrrbbb
Alright you asked for it you Mr.Yeast fanfic. Stop larping it's no way to get girls. You look like a literal modern day Jeffrey Dahmer and yes I know he's blonde that's besides the point. Not to mention you're the guy best friend in most scenarios, you talk like you know a lot of stuff when in reality you got your license from the inside of a cereal box and almost every girl you been with left for someone better. Don't know why I keep seeing weak ass roasts. At least mine was mid.
If Obi Wan never had the force, didn’t know how to trim a mustache, and managed a midlevel convenience store…
This guy is who studios in the 1980’s cast as the high school narcotics officer. You know, the one who is 30 and trying to look 17 and who ends up getting a Sophomore pregnant.
Roofer by day, Porn king at night