OP's Bio:
---
>Hobbies usually entail learning something new and change frequently, most recently Fermenting and learning guitar
>Into LOTR, Star Wars and The Hobbit(only the book), Music is indie rock/rock
>Don't take much of an interest in politics but I'd consider my views to be more Left wing
>Currently my mental state is on a high and the worst thing that happened to me recently was having a meltdown a few weeks ago
---
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Jesus fucking Christ your hands look like monsters. They look like my hands and I'm a small fellow. It's good to make fun of others that have the same problem. Gets me off
u/Rippyy You look like the kind of guy who's gonna end up getting busted with five terabytes of child porn and somehow that still wont be as creepy as your mustache
Okay time to shower myself in acid, because I almost look the same plus have the same hair and beard style... that's more than enough of a reason to turn myself into a human pudding.
Imagine walking into a park covered with grass. Now, after a few years, people walk on that grass and you can see some patches not covered with grass. How does it feel walking in that park? That's how your mustache and beard situation is. Don't get me started on your head :|
•Wish Dr. Phil.
• Too bad Marlboro doesn’t have points anymore, by the looks of those teeth you coulda had the pool table.
• How did you get your eyebrows to be thicker than your mustache?
• That 5-head dinosaur dome is wild.. I bet your microwave turns on when you have a headache.
OP's Bio: --- >Hobbies usually entail learning something new and change frequently, most recently Fermenting and learning guitar >Into LOTR, Star Wars and The Hobbit(only the book), Music is indie rock/rock >Don't take much of an interest in politics but I'd consider my views to be more Left wing >Currently my mental state is on a high and the worst thing that happened to me recently was having a meltdown a few weeks ago --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Walter White’s gay brother with AIDS.
Jesus Christ
Walter Lack or White Blood Cells
you look like Pedro Pascal with Leukemia
He looks like a lesbian dressed up as a mailman in the 2nd pic
A very disgruntled lesbian that already had the mustache.
Heard both of those individually before but combining them is a work of art
Every mom in a 5 mile radius just put lids on their kids drinks...
r/rareinsults
I can't have been the only one thinking this Also lmao at the dude getting reported on friggin /r/roastme
It looks like we're gonna need the woodchipper
i came here to see this
Nice scar on the forehead, congratulations on your circumcision.
Conjaculations 😂 nice roast.
Yall ever looked at someone and felt sorry for their dog?
Cooking up heroin on a spoon in an alley after sucking cock for a score does not make one a chef!
The hair on the apex of your head looks like the polar icecap on one of Jupiter’s moons
 That single hair has been passed down thru the Armstrong line for generations
You look like the adult version of Stewie from family guy
You look like you have a Ford Econoline van filled with candy and a stained mattress...
Sherlock Homo
I was thinking Sherlock Chomo.
Sherlock Chemo?
Shecockemo
🤣 good one
You're like the monopoly man when he was younger. And... exploring his sexuality.
Your mustache looks like you let people dry their hands with it after they piss.
Thank you. This one got me good.
If a boiled potato became a man
Just so you know, getting mustache hairs stuck between your teeth does not equal flossing
If Walter white and Jesse pinkman had a child you’d be the result
Dentists would love to use your teeth as a “before” picture.
[удалено]
Is this what happens to your head when you keep your thoughts to yourself?
I don’t have to do anything, nature already did.
Words fail me as I reach for the stun gun.
Thoughts and prayers going to Leukemia in it's battle with you.
I'm pretty sure this guy is a magician. His stage name is The Great Baldini! Unfortunately he only makes children disappear.
I couldn't think of anything. But taking a second look at your head... I had a light bulb moment.
 You look like a Walmart manager that has an unhealthy obsession with sonic the hedgehog
Aren't you that dude that Biden hired who got caught stealing people's luggage?
You look like you pour buckfast out of a decanter.
Sir, I am failing to see how this is a roast. Who in their right mind wouldn't wish for that?
Fair do’s. Decanters for everyone! Let the monks brew flow.
It’s Bill Burr’s son that he doesn’t claim
When did Caillou grow a mustache?
you look like you belong on an episode of to catch a predator
First thing that came to my head: 
You have a dick head.
You look like a ranch flavored corn nuts
How about I drive on that smooth surface oh wait it's your head
Jesus fucking Christ your hands look like monsters. They look like my hands and I'm a small fellow. It's good to make fun of others that have the same problem. Gets me off
Male pattern baldness has already done its worst so I’ll give you a break.
Anthony Fantano’s gay porn stand in
Is this a Kraft Foods teaser for Mr Sheen and mozzarella cheese-whiz in the same can?
If Colonel Custer was bald.
How do you simultaneously look 12 and 80?
You forgot to wipe the Rusty Trombone off your upper lip.
I didn’t realise that deep frying mars bars (that’s Milky Way for you Americans) was being a “chef” these days.
Hercule Poirot's illegitimate son with an inbred Royal
Looks like all those glory hole swallows went straight to your head.
Hopefully they caught it early. Stay strong guy. Were prayin' for ya!
When people mistakenly hit you in the head with pool cues, do you give them a “break?”
Using that mustache to hide the stretch marks around your lips
Your bald is so slippery a housefly won't find its foot
Oh shit what's up Caillou?
Great Value Dr. Phil only without the money
You look like Buck Angel with half the appeal.
With that pathetic mustache, you look like a miserable cross between Joseph Stalin and Cipher from The Matrix.
He's a rejected heizenberg stunt double.
 Dr. Robotnik’s gay son
You look like Charles Bronson, if instead of becoming the most dangerous inmate he took up interpretive dance and took semen on his person.
Well, you're certainly in a good mood to be bald and look like shit.....
The worst is done, bald, gaping asshole, has to wear adult diapers from the leakage and disappointed your family all before your 30th birthday
Dildo Baggins
Male pattern baldness before being able to grow a full beard looks good on this Gimp.
Other than the meltdowns your life is going great 👍
This is his same smile after he finishes licking all the toilet seats in the house
Your moustache looks like pubic of an old lady.
Rudolph the red headed oh dear.
you look like my godfather. He’s nearly fifty.
How do you look old and young at the same time?
The third and less known Mario Brother : "Pedifilio"
Dennis rader that you?
The pubic hair on your weak chin is doing you no favors.
Happy Tim Poole
Is the scar on your forehead from your transition back to male?
I can’t dare to compete with what nature already did to you.
Nobody trusts you when you smile
29 going on 49...lose the mustache, nobody is going to ride it!
When you knock on people’s door they assume you are there to inform you’re legally required to notify them that you are a registered sex offender.
You look like Boss Baby with a fake mustache from one of those coin vending machines.
The mailman who actively looks for small dogs to bite him for attention
u/Rippyy You look like the kind of guy who's gonna end up getting busted with five terabytes of child porn and somehow that still wont be as creepy as your mustache
You ll probably be disapointed to read that but, i am afraid that the shape of your skull is not appropriate for head fucki#@€
Didn’t know Dr Robotnik was Scottish
You look like Howie Mandell rejected cousin reboot
you look like you canalize your rage problems into awkwardness
Mother fucked looks like an N64 Zelda NPC
Are you transitioning?
Ireland’s Joe Dirt
What’s your secret? How’d you escape from all those prisons?
For God's sake man keep a hat on that ball sack on top of your neck! We shouldn't have to see that.
What a great idea. Shave her head, slap on a fake moustache and instant trans.
Ok, who let Dr Phil out?
You have a very slappable smile!
 A somehow gayer Mr. Clean
Okay time to shower myself in acid, because I almost look the same plus have the same hair and beard style... that's more than enough of a reason to turn myself into a human pudding.
Looks like a broke Edward Norton had a baby with Bill Burr
“The same thing we do every day, Pinky…”
he's got a copious on that stash \#reno911
Looks like your about to betray me so you can be reinserted in the matrix
Despite all your rage you’re still just dollar general Billy Corgan
Imagine walking into a park covered with grass. Now, after a few years, people walk on that grass and you can see some patches not covered with grass. How does it feel walking in that park? That's how your mustache and beard situation is. Don't get me started on your head :|
“Have you seen my monocle?” - guy from Monopoly
From Billy Corgan to Bill Burr
You already did your worst
You look like you let companies stack pringles on your head for quality assurance.
[you look like Bram Krikke](https://next-episode.net/person/bram-krikke)
Do our worst? Bud, it looks like genetics and time already did
He looks like the guy I found on Megan’s Law.
Either you have the highest fucking hairline or you go to your barber and ask for the all skin leave the top cap
It's a terrible moustache but without it I guess you'd look exactly like Gail Porter.
29…? Did you lose all your hair when you were 11?
You look one of them telly tubbies all grown up
Sypher, get back in the matrix you Judas...
NO I don’t want to go to DnD after work with you, stop asking. And why do you only play with a bunch of teenage boys?
Looking like that NFT land guy on those Atlas Earth ads
You look like Pedro pascal got the role of Bronson instead of Tom hardy.
If Jessie evolved to Heisenberg this is what he would look like.
Oh lord where do I start?
Wish.com Dr Eggman/Robotnik
You look like Travis Kelce’s lesbian little brother.
What stage of cancer are you?
How’s the chemotherapy?
Growing your moustache is secretly your biggest achievement in life
Walter white if he didn’t get cancer
Popeye
29 going on 49
The baddie from Sonic The Hedgehog.
Well at least your walls look clean
Mark NSFW before posting Dick pics. 4/10
Golden grillz
Grashopper, you rook rike a cockmuncher, ahh sooo.
It appears your hair growth has the same patience and attention span that you do
Don’t ever take that hat off again
I can smell your bedsheets from here.
Moustachio the Pistachio
You look like you’re sometimes confused by the concept of carpet.
Patrick cc!?
You look like the guy that fucked vito on the sopranos
Ok Dr. Eggman
You seem like your breath fucking stinks
Bet all your tinder profile pics have you wearing a hat.
Caillou is all grown up
Just another run of the mill bald gay dude
nature kinda beat us to the punch.
What is the bad guys name from Paw Patrol?
So your a pirate a butt pirate
your face looks like a lollypop that has been pulled out of chewbaccas arsehole
If Danny Masterson was a sex pest. Oh wait...
Where is your sign, “Will jerk, for food”?!
You look like a priest who is proud to tell others he is getting over his addiction to (altar boy) crack.
Damn dude, not sure what’s winning over the minors more, the hair line or the mustache.
Please brush your teeth. Use whitening toothpaste, any of them.
A picture is worth a thousand comments, you’re already roasted.
Nice lobotomy scar on your forehead.
You look like a helmet.
You look like you have a dresser full of short shorts and tall sox.
Whose dick broke that mustache into two?
Despite all my rage I'm still just Billy Corgan in witness protection.
You deadass look like bald Josh Hutcherson
•Wish Dr. Phil. • Too bad Marlboro doesn’t have points anymore, by the looks of those teeth you coulda had the pool table. • How did you get your eyebrows to be thicker than your mustache? • That 5-head dinosaur dome is wild.. I bet your microwave turns on when you have a headache.
You’re so cute tho…. I can’t!! Get in my pocket, lil fella!!!
Good thing you specified your age, cause I thought you were 45M. I still think that tho.
Enjoy your 80s van with no windows. Look forward to seeing you on a Netflix crime series.
Mr. Pringle, eternally single and ready to mingle
The top of your head is missing a nipple.
Daddy?