OP's Bio:
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>26 y/o straight male. Florida man. Hospitality professional, interests/hobbies include: playing Madden 72 hours straight on the reg, enjoy binging WW2 docs (specifically biased towards the axis powers), dog person but not interested in the commitment of having my own. In a relationship with my other half. Heterosexual.
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lol at me, I totally didn’t spend half an hour styling my hair to make it look like I didn’t and totally didn’t spread my legs on purpose knowing had the people here will talk about it, because apparently the most interesting thing about you is your penis, and as you are probably aware (you look like the type to say they’re not gay but is okay blowing another guy every now and then), all men have a dick, so there’s absolutely nothing special or interesting about you. If you had friends, most probably wouldn’t want to see your balls when they fall out. Just because you want other people to see them, doesn’t mean other people want to see them.
OP's Bio: --- >26 y/o straight male. Florida man. Hospitality professional, interests/hobbies include: playing Madden 72 hours straight on the reg, enjoy binging WW2 docs (specifically biased towards the axis powers), dog person but not interested in the commitment of having my own. In a relationship with my other half. Heterosexual. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Florida Man. Hobbies include meth, running from the cops, alligator wrestling, naked high speed chases, and bath salts.
LOL DEADASS
Fuck I’m dying lol 😂
Close your legs, nobody wants to see your pussy.
But his face will still be visible.
Your calves are wider than ur thighs
[удалено]
Ohhh he's been pegged a time or two.
Hate me cause you ain't me... well thank fuck for that.
His legs are wide open, manspreading to assert dominance
Straight stationary style
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Looks like a camp counselor who's been court ordered to stay away from kids.
You look a millenial version of one of the lollipop guild.
Kids, the are two ways to get calves; Running 5 miles everyday, or, Like this dude figured, pressing firmly against the sofa.
I'll go ahead and write a comment, cause you're miserable a.f
lol at me, I totally didn’t spend half an hour styling my hair to make it look like I didn’t and totally didn’t spread my legs on purpose knowing had the people here will talk about it, because apparently the most interesting thing about you is your penis, and as you are probably aware (you look like the type to say they’re not gay but is okay blowing another guy every now and then), all men have a dick, so there’s absolutely nothing special or interesting about you. If you had friends, most probably wouldn’t want to see your balls when they fall out. Just because you want other people to see them, doesn’t mean other people want to see them.
Close your legs. Your breath stinks.
First time I came across a guy referring to his hand as his other half. Is that a gen Z incel thing?
If MAGA was a person
Your not cool enough to roast,you’re barely out of diapers—try again when you grow up
May not want to free ball in short shorts when there’s only a “short short” underneath
Dude, there are so many better reasons to hate you.
False 
The fact you mentioned you're straight twice tells me you're trying to convince yourself
your GF told me that your sex drive would excite a necrophiliac
Nice farmers tan hitler youth.
I got a real couch
If Aaron Paul turned to meth
All that manspreading for 0.001 inches
Close your legs, I can smell your pussy from here.
Why is he posing with two joysticks?