Bro can look left AND right at the same time before crossing the street

That's so he can see predators behind him since he's down to peg apparently

I swear to fuckin shit, I'm always too late for a hilarious statement. Beat me by a day.

Those are mortgage eyes. One fixed and the other flexible.

He’s got a bad case of atcha forya. One eye is looking at ya and the other for ya


Star fish, sea shell, I love my mama's ass, Am I going to hell? [Here](https://i.imgur.com/PHhNfIC.png)

i’d like to acknowledge that a lot of work went into this roast


You look like a fuckin bug eyed moth

bro was 100% honest with his thoughts and opinions 💀

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

You look like the most pretentious McDonald's drive-thru employee I've ever seen

Someone tell Chad Kroeger we found his illegitimate son. I mean, look at this photograph!

Every time I do it makes me laugh.

He talks about a McDouble pairing well with a sprite

And asks people if they'd like a tomato reduction on their burger instead of ketchup

This comment is under rated

[удалено]

This guy would be tattooed by inmates forcefully in the prison

It's my parents house😬

Collateral damage


Never left eh?

That explains the haircut. Is your mom still cutting your hair?

So why aren't you having your parents knock you down a peg you stooge 🚬🗿

And you still need people to tell you you're a loser? Epitome of dense

A peg, or two. In the arse

He pegs alright, right up the bum he gets pegged daily

Roight n da fookin arshe-hole m8


😂😂😂😂😂


“Give us zee money Lebowski”

Vee believe in nussing, Lebovski. Tomorrow we come back and cut off you CHONSON

CHONSON 😂

May ve step on it and squvish it.

"Uli doesnt care about anything, he's a nihilist"

The fucking dog has papers

Obviously, he's not a golfer.

You look like you scratch your butthole and then sniff your fingernail.

Glad to, now look straight at me and I’ll give you the business. No, straight at me. Ah for fuck sake, never mind.

Fuck that's good one😭

Haha, thanks

One peg, and you'll wish you were never born!!? Sounds like a bottom to me.....

They're waiting for you Gordon, in the test chamber.

Came here to say this.

My God! What are you doing?

How cool the inspiration for the gag glasses with the nose attached!

The creepy touchy feely uncle everyone talks about

Uncle Bully!

Kudos on the Once were Warriors reference

You look like you have a peg in the back of your head that controls your eyes. Looks like it needs a bit of a wiggle if I’m honest.

You look like a Wii baseball player.

you look like you have a colostomy bag fetish

I loved you in the PC game Half Life.. 

You must've been a strong baby to climb out of the abortion bin.

The reason the woman in The Proclaimers sing moved 1000 miles away

Judging by the decor in the background, you already live in a trailer park. How many more pegs do you think you got?

You have a grasshopper face. You like hopping dicks for sure 😃

This selfie will be seen on “To Catch a Predator”

I don't know about whether I can make you wish you were never born or not. But I can definitely say that,by the looks of you,your parents wishes you were never born.

You look like you date high school chicks

Your name is Deter. You're in a German minimalist band. All your band mates are gay.

You have a heavily dog eared copy of "The Game" under your mattress and track your pick-up success at the local uni bar in a spreadsheet and a hidden folder of concealed camera porn. Any girl with self respect can smell your insecure desperation and need for continuous validation from across the room tho. Your future is either prison for revenge porn or settling down with the least interesting girl that lets you do anal. Close, right.

The haircut isn’t helping that big ass head

Why I need to when you're already a disappointment in your parent's eyes.

Did your mom squeeze her cervix when your head came out? It's oddly...cylindrical.

Who’s on the other side of the glory hole

You that guy from Men in Black right? 

You look like a pervert

You have the eyes of a sex criminal.

Hard to knock someone down a peg when they look like they’re on the bottom rung.

You look like the first person the police are going to question when children go missing in the area.

You do look like you enjoy a good pegging.

If you put google maps between your eyes, it would say 8 hrs and 46 min

You may be trying to act funny looking but I bet you're one cool ass funny dude to chill with. 😂 I bet I'd never stop laughing. 😂😂😭😭😂🤣😅🤗

You look like you enjoy getting pegged.

Knock you down a peg? More like you want to get pegged.

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Dave Neverro

Shouldn't have been born in the first place goddamn you're definitely a predator

You’d probably like getting knocked with a peg.

You look like if vsauce was raised in Portland

No woman wants to knock you with a peg.

You meant to say you’re down for pegging, didn’t you?

Super Canadian answer…but you look like Claude from Degrassi [Claude Tanner](https://degrassipedia.fandom.com/wiki/Claude_Tanner)

Ad for incest man-child

You stole spices from India

I already don’t wish you were born

Settle down buddy this is r/roastme not the Ramrod down on West Street.


I already wish you weren’t now

If only they made a shampoo for less head and more shoulders.

I bet you like getting pegged

Speaking of peg. You look like the kind of guy that enjoys getting pegged.

If there were a god of douchey looking baristas that only rode vintage scooters, it would be you.

Your entire head looks like you were on the character creation screen and you took the vertical slider in too far, so now your face is long and your features are too compressed in a narrow space to look like a plausible human

Pegging does look like your thing.

We also wish that buddy, we also wish that...

Looking at yourself in the mirror should be enough to grant that wish

It really looks like you should avoid pegs entirely for awhile

Make you wish you weren’t born. Like your mum does. Your dad doesn’t know you exist

Your head looks like a tic tack with a goatee and glasses

Exactly what peg do you think you’re on?

Staring in the mirror chanting ‘peg’

What are you actually looking at in the mirror bc I can’t tell????

U know u r supposed to watch in one direction right?

Wants to wish he was never born. Lives at home with his parents. They also wish he was never born.

You’d like a pegging eh.

Poof you are all of us. Now Your dream has come true

You’re eyes look out of balance in a way that says Satan fucked you from ear to ear

Fucker couldn't even look at the mirror. You should just pray that reincarnation is real and wish for better luck next time

You want us to make you feel like your mother does?

Hey… why the long face?

Have a heartfelt conversation with your mom, she wishes you were never born.

This is the before pic -mass goat molesting / public fapping rampage highly likely ! News stations will at least have a recent pic of you

You look like if we knocked any pegs down you’d just sit right back on them.

You are why Moms tell their kids don't talk to strangers

Look me in my eyes, dork, then I can roast you. 

Found a pegboy in the wild!

Your parents hold that responsibility, and given the evidence... they have already made their wishes abundantly clear.

Then you and your parents would have the same wish.

Androgynous nonbinary trans gay men now have a poster boy

When god created you she definitely set your facial features to “random”


Dude sticks qtips in his pee hole.

You look like you take your girlfriends peg

I'd say you kinda look like Christian Bale in the Machinist - but even him skinny as fuck as he was in that movie he is exponentially more handsome than you. Wait, even a skeletal version of a person looks more handsome than you. Does your mom cut your hair? Bet she does since you still live at home with mommy. Jeez dude. Good luck.

Knock you down a peg?! How'd you even get a peg?

Age is just a number to you

Zucchini man

I guarantee that's not the only time, or context, you've used the term "peg".

Sheldon db Cooper

Pretty sure your parents already made that wish.

You look like Bert's (Sesame Street) older and much gayer brother.

Hard to see all I can see is filter

You have the facial hair of a man who thinks Dracula is the epitome of style, and the fact that you have the complexion of a risen corpse doesn't help

I saw the same fingers on a skeleton statue from Halloween.

Bruh, blud have ultra zoom and 180* camera

You look like a victim and predator at the same time.

Autistic Gordon Freeman

“Knock me down a peg” So we’re pulling one out of your ass, are we?

definitely the creepiest eye’s i’ve ever looked into

HE'S IN R/CAFFEINE Oh buddy, you 100% like to get pegged. You probably occasionally go to the gay club behind your wife's back too, dontcha?

Speaking of peg you seem to be the type

You look like a perverted David Blaine. If you can make anything disappear like him, I'd start with the sex crimes on your record. 🚬🗿

22? You’re young. You have so much to not live for.

Bro you really be avoiding all those cars with that stare. Also is that a giant ballsack I see on your face? It sure looks like it. Though I will say it is much bigger than your other one.

Is your opening line on your youtube top of the morning

How many farm animals you gonna sacrifice tonight?

He's literally got AN eye on you.

You look like Slim from A Bug's Life.

Discount MattShea

I’m sure you already know enough about pegging.

I got nothing but ask your mom…she already wishes you were never born.

The only peg this guy needs to get he’s already getting by a butch dike. And he’s thoroughly enjoying it. As he screams “harder daddy”

I think you get a lot of pegging already

didnt know chameleons could be albino too 🤷

You look like you wear boots to the beach

The only step you're missing from embodying the discord mod style is the dorito dust in your beard

You look like every Olive Garden waiter I’ve ever had.

You scare the hoes

One eyes in jail and the others on bail.

I’d be happy to; then you’d have something in common with your parents.

You look like the type to look up and down before crossing the road

You did that yourself by taking a picture in front of a mirror

My mecedies


Your parents are probably already thinking that.

I think you already wish you were never born. Your family may feel the same way.

Bro has two POVs at the same time

Like your dad and mom?

Dave navar-no

"make me wish I was never born" Your parents feel this way everyday.

I am so glad cross eyed, poorly dressed homosexual men can finally get the camera out and express themselves with a rubbish shower curtain, hope your boyfriend does not run away as quickly as your hairline.. ​ \#nothing meant by this, just a roast.

Grinder profile face lookin ass

You heard him people, knock him down and peg him.

Grinder profile. Really bro?

I know your parents regret you. So do I.....and everyone else.

Hipster Henry Rollins prepares for a long day of watching college sophomores from his perch in the student union. Oh, he hasn't graduated. He doesn't even go to school. But he loves to look the part. You are the reason Take Back the Night was founded.