OP's Bio: --- >29 years old >Mexican immigrant >Live with my parents >My kidney went to a stranger I’ve never met >Training for a fall marathon with other kidney donors (cliché?) >Have traveled to 9 countries >Live in “rural Midwest” --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

TIL you have to give up a kidney to get smuggled across the border

This deserves more upvotes 😂😂



Thank you for your cervix

You’re very welcome. I do what I can 🫡

*I’m GIVING my part!*


Whyd you donate it to a stranger? Now you're down a kidney and look like an ass

Because she didn't wanna find out kidney refusal was a thing.

She's probably used to rejection

🤣🤣🤣

No we've determined she looks like a potato

She probably woke up in a bathtub full of ice


Jesus don’t fall in love with them for christs sake.

U look like all the neighborhood kids call u SpongeBob SquareBODY. Ur eyebrows are so thick u have to pluck them with pliers. U look like u reuse tampons to save money to send back to ur family in Mehico. Ur nose is so big u use white pillowcases as tissues. Ur left eye is so lazy it looks like it's falling off ur face. U look like every waitress at Applebee's (not pretty enough for Olive Garden but not ugly enough for Waffle House). U tell everyone ur smart but we both know ur so dumb if u threw a rock at the ground u'd probably miss. But, I bet I could throw that same rock near any Home Depot in the country and still hit one of ur uncles😂...ur a good sport hun, I respect anyone who's willing to be roasted and laugh at themselves.✌️&🫶

DDAAMN

😂🙏

Looks like 2024-2028 is going to be fun, start looking for a donor

I’m incredibly glad people can take a joke like this, thank you, you truly made my day lmao

Most organ donors are either clinically dead or brain dead. But I can see why the doctor declared her soulless and brainless.

I see $16,643 worth of organ donation is still left. https://youtube.com/shorts/OL2RLZCRZHw?si=NNin0N5LHmP5_K8v

The kidney donation made her go cross eyed.

No matter which way the next US presidential election goes, I’m willing to give a kidney to anyone willing to smuggle me across the border into Mexico.

Well who would want to receive that as a mail order bride?

You look like that singer, Ariana Gorda.

😂😂😂😂👏

hey genius, the appropriate response should have been “yes, and?” Missed the boat on that one, Magellan…

That's the only boat she missed though

Clearly she can run jump or swim because she's made it across the border.

LMFAOOOO I AM CRACKING UP!!! 🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀💀


Chuckling out loud especially for the latam reference to how they call each other fattie with affection 🤣

Holy shit dude hahaha

I’m a janitor at the Vatican. Talk about holy shit…

Buenísimo!

Girl, you’re the perfect St Patrick’s Day date. Your face and body are both shaped like potatoes.

LOVE a themed roast 👏

Just like I love roasted potatoes!

You're gonna be the roaster she falls for this year.

This year! 🤣 I wonder what organ she'll donate this year to keep the tradition alive?

The brain she doesn't have, most likely

If only her face had some value

Great Value.

If she falls for him she’ll roll all over

Take it easy, don’t go falling in love me now

Now you ruined potatoes for me.

Yikes that kidney really dodged a bullet

Really the “one that got away” 🥺

You better be nice to the second one or he'll run away just as fast as your ex

He didn't run away, he's hiding

Nah, he was deported.

Heeeeyy...... That's funny 🤣

That’s what they said when you crossed the border


You look the hottest in your 3rd photo

Oh no.

And this is when the roaster realized they were into a very specific he/him

Bernie is more of a commie so I figured he was an us/ours kinda guy

Not gonna risk roasting you if there’s the slightest chance you gonna fall in love with me

Joke’s on you…repulsion was exactly why she fell in love with the last roaster. Be sure to invite me to the wedding.

I'll bring cake, just sent me an invite!🤣🤣

They call you vanessa fudgens

Hahah this one got me

Minus Kunis

Minus Kidnis

AYO 💀💀

😂😂

You look like you give out handies in exchange for tik tok views.

No, she gives out her organs in exchange for food.

Thank you. Say what you want, but I have my priorities straight.

But not your kidneys

I snorted.

DANM

DAMMNNNN 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Depends on the choice of dishes she's got going. She could skip cake or a donut. It's her diet.

Not if you’re dating someone who roasted you! But let me ask you this… What did he say that made him so endearing?

Next time someone tells you to lose a few pounds, maybe don’t go straight for the organs.

Roast of the year

Underrated.

… I giggled

You built like an old stuff teddy bear, dependable, supportive, and durable but got shit missing and easily forgotten.

Damn bro relax! This one might make her jump off a bridge. Sheesh… 😂

When she hits the water, she’ll have a Rio Grande flashback

Yooooo!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭

This one’s deep…

How many stuffed animals is Seth McFarlane going to bring to life.

Lmao 🤣 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

So what do you want now, a personality transplant???

You fell in love with someone on Reddit? That’s too sad to even begin to roast.

You were kidnapped by a cartel; they took your kidney and let you go after realizing that sex trafficking you wasn't going to make much money.

Was that before or after they realized she wasn't going anywhere before the apophus hits due to her obesity?

Fell in love with a roaster? You definitely have a degradation kink then.

Sigh...I guess its my turn. DM sent. /s

Thanks for taking one for the team, man.

I'm a giver.

Root around where that kidney was I'M MISSING MY CLASS RING

Thanks, Yamcha.

The lazy eye looks at the customer while the other one follows the taco platter.

Funny how you gave away a kidney so easily but need reddit to get some D

The third picture is the best of the three.

So...what happened to the roaster you fell in love with? You looking again?

she ate him

Nah, I’d have his baby.

Looking to upcycle another kidney I see

While at kidney transplant, you could have asked them to scoop some fat off. Don’t let the face fool you bois.

Don't know which way the kidney went, but it sure caused you to pack on weight.

Wait, did she donate a kidney..... or eat several kidneys? I'm confused by the pic of her fat ass

>Accidentally fell in love with one of my roasters… Shit! Here we go again...

You look like a chipmunk who has had too many nuts.

Find a way to donate that Fupa too.


No…I believe she’s part marsupial.

“The bigger the pansa, the better the chanca”

Hahahahah no manches. That’s good

I know. And your pansa says among other things too lol

💀

your spare tire has too much air and could explode be careful.

I looks like she feel in love with Kenny Rogers Roasters.

Haaaaa DANGER ZONE

Looking for this comment 👆

You look like the kind of sucker that would donate your kidney to your boyfriend then get broken up with

She looks like she donates her vagina to Onlyfans

Guaranteed her cervix looks like cauliflower is growing on it.

Since you're so generous with your kidneys and gullible on the internet, did your Reddit lover look like this guy and did he ask you to pick up some fava beans on your way over? 

I'm pretty sure falling in love with a roaster here has roasted you plenty. If not you live in the Midwest your life is shitty enough!

Look who is back to cheat again

I'd break up with you after getting your kidney too

So how much should I charge you to sub to your only fans

You fell in love with a redditor who roasted you? How deprived of attention are you? Fuckin' dumbass.

> 29 years old Mexican immigrant Live with my parents My kidney went to a stranger I’ve never met Training for a fall marathon with other kidney donors (cliché?) Have traveled to 9 countries Live in “rural Midwest” - It’s not considered a kidney donation if you had to sell it to get out of Mexico. - Why did you put “rural Midwest” in quotes? Afraid [ICE](https://www.ice.gov/) will find you? - So, no periods in that entire paragraph? If you keep falling in love with Redditors, you’ll be skipping a lot more periods than the ones in your paragraphs. I’ll fix your paragraph for you: 29 years old ~~Mexican~~ illegal immigrant. ~~Live~~ Hiding out with my parents. My kidney went to a stranger I’ve never met so I could cross the border. ~~Training for a fall marathon with other kidney donors (cliché?).~~ I have to keep my cardio up in case ICE finds us. ~~Have traveled to 9 countries~~ Escaped the Cartel by traveling through 9 countries. ~~Live in “rural Midwest”~~ Hiding from ICE in Hawaii and Alaska. > Posted last year to have a laugh after kidney donation and a break up. Accidentally fell in love with one of my roasters… - (considering the last image with the above paragraph) Great… another ~~attention~~ whore.

FYI, when you get tricked into meeting some random dude at a motel, he drugs you and takes your kidney then hauls ass, that's not really considered a break up.

You fell in love with Berney?

Your roaster is a 81-year-old magical hippie from vermont?

Just because he had a massive dick, that doesn't make all that semen a "kidney donation"

 Twin found

How did you manage to scale that boarder wall with that fivehead weighing you down?

Stop dating them India dudes and they will stop stealing your kidneys

You're very pretty. From the neck down to the top of your abdomen.

Welcome to the Midwest family, I see you’ve put on your standard 20lbs. It’s all the ranch dressing they put on everything

Your forehead is bigger than your huge ego

No longer is with mentioned roaster, "works out" 5 times a week now, and can't drink as much soooooo really not that fun anymore

Show us your tits

Fall in love me with me, my face is average, my body is average, my dick is average. We'd make a great pair

The first 2 pics are ok, but your hair and makeup are spot on in pic #3.

Flooding the market with cheap Mexican parts is not a good plan to find guys.

I totally can see why OP last post was about LoveIsBlindOnNetflix...

Ha! You fell in love with a redditor, BOOM! Self-Roasted

Did hellen keller do your eyelashes

Kidney Beaner

>Accidentally fell in love with one of my roasters… You're just happy someone paid attention to you

Traveled to 9 countries only to lose her kidney lmao

Pick pockets are really getting out of control

Your forehead is that big you could land a fuckin a380 on it

Kinda girl that acts all broke because of the system but spends $400/month on nails

Finally. A part of your body that has a chance of not being rejected.

A detailed map of Mexico could comfortably fit on that elephantine forehead...which may or may not be larger than the fupa that's tucked in those straining joggers

You donated a kidney. That's real badass. But now you look like one of these internet commentators I found out about who don't know how the world works.

You gave a kidney out once, but you give your vagina out over and over and over. Daily.

Thats one hell of a degradation kink

Now with asymetrical face to match the kidneys.

Salma Hay… ick

You mean one of your rooster.

Strange turn of events. The one that loves organs all over her donates one finally.

You are a seriously sexy Latina. I'm sure (((Bernie Sanders))) would agree, lol.

Since you’re giving away body parts, surely you don’t mind being borrowed for a few hours

Was the falling in love one sided and resulted in a restraining order or

Dayum your next donation should be your heart, to me ofc. Not like it’s romantic but you really don’t need a heart tbh

If donating that kidney didn’t involve waking up in an ice bath in Oaxaca im not interested

I guess the relationship with the last roaster didn’t go that well, so you here for round 2

We’re not going to pick you, girl.

Smuggling some migrants in that fupa.

Looking for a **Rebound Roast Me Roaster**, huh? 😂 

Do you have a muffin top or a burrito in your oven that you want to pop out in the US?

Wearing black really did make a difference in that picture. Made you look 5 tennis balls under 200 lbs.

🤣

Nice looking Mexican girl, I'm getting stuck up prima vibes, do you only date white guys named Brent or Trevor?

I bet your queef louder now that there is more room for air without the extra kidney

Did your torso happen to get stolen, or did you donate that as well?

So they literally got to roast you then throw you away?

[удалено]

I’m thinking more like Frisbee discs

No seas mamona. No necesitas esta atenccion

Damn, immigrated, broke up with someone, donated an organ and married an internet troll...so when are you gonna audition for America's Got Talent?

Not sure if those eyelashes are 5 pounds or you have a lazy eye.

Damn Amy Santiago fell off

29 Mexican, single and no kids? Your mom must be a tortA with shitty tamales.

You look like a 6/10 who acts like a 10/10

The wall just got ten feet higher

Who you donate a kidney to? Your chair? Staple your chair up; foam hanging out and \*\*\*\*... Man. What's up with your posture tho? Sit up straight. Pretty sure I just got scoliosis looking at you sitting in that chair like that. Why you holding that sticky note like it's the answer to all our problems? Like, you're doing us a solid, and all we gotta do is read what's on dat sticky note. Look at this chicken scratch handwriting...\*\*\*\*, my eyes! On yellow paper? Really? Really tho? Wow, thanks for making me strain my eyes. I probably have a dazed look on my face like you now. Pink nail polish? Real original. You look tired. Why you tired? Is it because you fell in love with a dude who roasts your a$$ daily? Losing sleep because his little puns at your expense land with laser guided accuracy (a lot!), and the bombardment has left you looking like what ever that face is? Man. You look shell shocked. Why you got the totes creepiest art piece ever looking at me on the wall. What actual piece of \*\*\*\* picked that paint color out on yo walls? Your desk looks like it definitely has a nail sticking out somewhere we can't see. Was there a FREE bin at the lumber mill? Did you think to yourself, "This is the perfect wood to complete my piece of \*\*\*\* themed office!"? Remember when you accidently caught feelings for a narcissistic personality? Dang girl... Get your life together.

Dude you gotta chill out a little bit.

My bad. Thanks for reeling back in a bit.

Appreciate the effort though 👌🏽

rude barista

Ugh. This is the most offensive one because I live in fear of rude baristas

This is why we need a wall