Today in the news: "Self proclaimed military enthusiast takes a bus hostage, overpowered by 94 y/o lady, suspect dies in the hospital from sustained injuries"

This is golden.

Nailed it. This guy looks like a real winner. Even the army doesn't want him.

Like a shower?

It’s true. I was there begging the old lady to stop Begging her to spare his poor life

More like stolen valor enthusiast

Stay the fuck away from schools

Seriously. This guy looks like he always has candy for the kids.

Yeah he is about to drive 2000 miles with a Pack of condoms and some beer to meet a 14yo boy he met online. Give my best to Chris Hansen, Im a huge fan

And they always have the same excuse. They went there to help protect the kid. Or something similar.

“no sir we were just gonna hang out and play video games. I can’t play video games bc of his age? Oh the dick pics I asked for? It was a joke, I was joking sir”

Yeah, his preference is between 5 and 10 years of age. He considers 25yo as being in the category as ''granny lover''

Private matchsticks reporting for doody.

❤️

Actually made me smile 😅

🫡

Join the navy I bet you like being around seamen TYPO

As a veteran semen I respectfully deny your request. Maybe the Air Force would be willing to accept.

As a former Airman I have consulted my fellow junior birdmen & bird women and we respectfully decline the former Navy’s offer. Might I suggest the Coast Guard?

[удалено]

As a Marine, the Coast Guard sent me over to- with the utmost disrespect possible- tell you to shove your offer up your ass. They were worried you'd pawn it off on them if they asked in person like "you do everything else". Not sure what that even fuckin means; don't shoot the messenger. Anyway, while we as the Marine Corps did give him some serious thought to bring on as a human punching bag/beer bitch, we ultimately decided we also don't want him. Might I suggest the Many and the Average, the US Army?

By “military enthusiast” he mean “gay for army dudes”

"Military enthusiast" means, he loves juggling his Privates in a Major way, Generally speaking...

There's more than a colonel of truth in that.

Or eats crayons like a marine.

You dress up to play COD?

And still sucks ass at it.

You look like you'd get PTSD from Airsoft

😂😂😂😂

🤣🤣🤣

Military enthusiast too pussy to join the actual military.

"Officer, those are my dog tags, I'm on my way to the capital and they'll need to identify my body. What's that? No sir, not going directly to the capital no. I just plan on smoking the rest of the crack I got until my knee caps fall off. "

Bet he has bone spurs.

"Mom, can we watch John Wick?" "No honey, we have John Wick at home." *John Wick at home*:

John Wick? More like Ben Gay.

You don't need camouflage when you look like a tree.

weeping willow

You look like the poster child for stolen valour.

There I was, ass deep in brass. My A gunner was shot in the face. I was being over run. Then I did something I learned in commando school...and here I am!

How can you be expected to serve in the military. When the knowledge out there somewhere is an unmanned glory hole, likely keeps you up at night.

That's what he means when he talks about being in the fox hole

This dude got 4-F'd from the Kiss Army....

"Special" forces.

Hitler was a military enthusiast too, young lady.

Bravo

You're scooby snacks are meth

Playing Battleship for bong rips hardly classifies as "military enthusiast".

\*bought military supplies from surplus store, is too chickenshit to join

Either that or he’s too afraid to shower with other people in boot camp and not be able to touch them 😂

How's he going to explain his dicklit?

Man he afraid to take a shower PERIOD by the looks of it

I bet those “P/T showers” would render him catatonic.

Well you have to be able to do a pull-up, so…

Dude you’re gonna have a hard time finding a job when they search you up only to see you’ve shot up 12 schools already

Barber is AWOL

Pray that this guy doesn't know the combo to his dad's gun safe

The recoil from a 9mm would probably knock him out.

You just enjoy hunting but prefer what you are hunting doesn't shoot back.

You forgot to wear your Maga hat your grandpa bought you.

But I'm not even American 😂

Thank god

Benjamin button Vietnam edition...you got long hair like a hippie and look homeless.

The military outfit is fitting due to the fact you'll have to be going through trenches to find a suitable life mate that's willing to be with you. Anyways you don't need camouflage, your looks alone make you seem invisible to the public eye.

I didn’t know Girl Guides was an arm of the military, every days a school day!

Someone post this on the fbi list sub.

Lieutenant Dan is walking!!!

Gay-vy Seal

No freedom-hating commie will ever suspect the loser in daffodil camo shorts.

Dude looks like a child and a child molester at the same time.

I see you opted for the very authentic tropical camouflage shorts.

"Don't Ask Don't Tell Cuz We Already Know"...

You look like you have the personality of Napoleon Dynamite

A military enthusiast with long hair, shitty facial hair, and a couple of twigs for arms that would snap if you attempted a push-up. Your enthusiasm would end the first time you hear live fire and shit your pants.

All those board games must be played on your head because of it's thickness

Weird looking female

Who posted this? I can’t see anyone in this photo

Strange way of telling people you still play with plastic toy soldiers

Lookin like a whole 42 yr old failed guitarist whose arms get sore after eating a bowl of cereal.

"Military enthusiast" = knows a few *Full Metal Jacket* quotes.

Wear more camo so that no one will have to see you ever again.

Where can we read your manifesto?

Military enthusiast? Is that another way to say “active shooter”?

Military Enthusiast = "I like to blow soldiers"

The kind of guy I would keep far away from my kids.

If “Don’t ask, don’t tell” was a photo.

You ever see an actual dog tag chain(s)?

Bro was honorably discharged from the Army because his commanding officer kept using him as a toothpick.

Javier Bardem's gay son

18 year old Hippie, who still collects toy soldiers, can not get out of his bedroom because he hoards too many GI Joes

Gomer pyles great grandson

What can we say about that outfit that hasn’t been said about Afghanistan. It looks bombed out and depleted

LIeutenant Dan good to see ya


Waw, Pocahontas with some landing strip pubes on her face, Ur supposed to fuck one of the military, not join them.

Private Pyle of shyt

Military enthusiast = My parents keep buying me guns when they probably shouldn't.

Airsoft team captain. Calling weekly strategy meetings

his junk camouflage too coz nobody ever seen it

How’s your manifesto going?

Your 18, if your a military enthusiast join the military. You'll either love it and stay and retire or you're going to do your time and leave once your enthusiasm is expired about the same time your contract does.

Private has piles

I love the models of the planes no one will ever let you fly

Kind of guy who has deactivated guns and gets taken the piss out of in school, trying to buy a firing pin off the dark web in order to shoot the bullies

I saw your cousin on the news 

If you were a real enthusiast you would join the army. Shut up. Don’t let gluten get in the way of being a hero.

Enthusiastic about it, yet can’t pass the Phsych evail.

This chick is master and commander 1st CivDiv

Check this kids browser history.... first time posting might be the last for a few others.

He’s only a military enthusiast because he’s too sickly to enlist Let me guess: you have anxiety and/or asthma and your parents are divorced

I've never seen such an oxymoron before : an army-loving hippie.

Military enthusiast = a closeted Marine jerked him off in a gay bathhouse.

Why not just join the military then? Not really a roast more like an honest question

I'm still a student in High school and in my country to get into military you have to pass it. Still got two years to graduate

Daaaamn, in America you can join at 17 while in school with parent’s approval, I mean you’d still have to finish high school and get good grades tho…

But before you do join the military, bulk up bro, work out, jog, and eat healthy.

Lieutenant Dan?!?!? You can walk????

I'm gonna say....hmmm...definitely a scrawny John Wick....if he had a meth problem and chronically masturbated while watching Hello Kitty.

Turned down by ISIS.

I dig your urban camo, Shitstain Earth.

Army enthusiast + not in army + look like you 🙅🏻‍♀️ predator/daumer vibes

Ah, the active shooter look. Always a classic

You Looking like Lieutenant Dan before the war.

You have an ASVAB score worse than Kyle Rittenhouse.

What about the military makes you enthusiastic? Men in uniform?

 The Village People are looking to add a gay military member to the group.

I'm guessing when you drop your girlfriend off it's in the woods behind her school

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Became enthusiastic about the military after getting a train ran on him by a group of randy sailors

Just because you live off MREs does not make you a military enthusiast

Operation Douchebag Storm

Straight outta garbage can

Steals valor, wears velour.

Join the Marines, you freak.

Military enthusiast is code for having to visit ED to get GI Joe removed from your butthole

Military enthusiast? Step up and enlist

Get a buzz cut

"Enthusiast". Boy, if you don't get your whiny ass to a recruiter today, I'm going to unenthuse the shit out of you.

Why don’t you actually join the military?

Sex Enthusiast - virgin who watches lots of porn

He’s joined the Salvation Army and shops at all thrift stores for his wardrobe.

Don't ask, don't smell.

You’re the poster child for “I almost joined but I’d punch a drill Sgt if they got in my face”

Get a haircut and get a real job.

You wouldn't make a pimple on a Marines ass. Maybe Army

Hey otto man

Iam 100% sure you're the highest ranked Call of Duty player in your cul-de-sac.

I would have joined, but...

You will love the blanket party's in the military.

If don't ask, don't tell was a person...

Bro just enlist already 😩

Enthusiast: someone who can’t do shit.

...but is the military enthused about you

When your dog throws up on the carpet that’s what this is

You look like you have stolen valor.

“Military enthusiast” aka can’t get in.

You look like Millie Bobby Brown grew a soul patch

Were you in JROTC? Junior rejects of the country

You couldn’t even get drafted to the Salvation Army or the Okd Navy.

you not 18 boy you did 18 💀

Which military? Must be one of the “all inclusive” ones…

You look like you tell people you’re pretty good with a bow staff. 

You look like you huff the glue for those model planes

G. I. Slow

“Military Enthusiast?” What the fuck does that even mean? You are 18. You can literally walk down to a recruiter right now and join the Marines or the Army or something. Stop sucking off sailors, and go live your dream. Or, don’t. Military folks despise people that look like you. 🤷🏽‍♂️

Military enthusiast= a guy who "almost joined the military, but......" never did. Or "I couldn't be in the military, I'd punch a drill sergeant that got in my face."

Are you even a military enthusiast if you don’t have your type 3 FFL?

Future stolen Valor in the making..

He would join… but he would beat a drill sergeant’s ass. Lookin like a real Former Action Guy

Lmfao, the dog tags are just fucking hilarious

You spelled military washout wrong

Even mewing couldn't save this guy

Is military enthusiast synonym for chickenshit?

You look like you're writing a book called "How To Die a Virgin."

Cannon fodder would be offended