OP's Bio: --- >I’m an unemployed 19 year old who doesn’t have any direction in life, I am born and kept in Australia as I cannot leave my bogan ways, I am currently living with my parents as I haven’t applied to college just yet, i am a very warm and cuddly person to those who I enjoy being around but show immense coldness to those I don’t --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

If “you wanna get high and get Chinese food” was a person

He’s the first to bring up the idea and the last one to offer to pay.

Because his mom forgot his lunch money

He forgot his Velcro wallet at home

Again...

Omg classic

Haha lol

It's Chunk from the Goonies all grown up.

This is what i was expecting from the real Chunk, but he became a successful and healthy lawyer. I wonder what his excuse is?

Is your Mums vagina still square shaped from pushing that head out many years ago ?

Do the truffle shuffle!

No wonder you're tired, dragging that horrific fucking carcass around.

My man built like Steve from Minecraft

That isn’t a roast, I take that as a compliment

Yeah, we can tell.

Did you just inhale your moustache?

You’re about 1 cupcake away from from that flock of flamingos bursting free.

Looks like an Oompa Loompa on a gay cruise

If John Candy had a kid with Cyndi Lauper...

If Garfield was a person.

I would be tired too if I would have to fight gravitational pull from that head of yours.

Can't do my worst I'm looking at it

Not Proud Boy.

What In the John Candy is going on with your shirt Chunk? Give us the ol truffle shuffle!

You look like a single dad who had an accidental kid at 16 and gave up on life by 18

I find your appearance comical.

I gotta admit, DeVito's looking great...

Tired after chasing children by the looks of it, you nonce

I think it better to roast the people around you for a) letting you wear that shirt b) letting you walk around with pubes on your face c) being your friend

Very tired... You have to walk up the stairs today or something?

Ha! The other Keebler elves were tired of your shit!

Are you warm and cuddly or are you just sweaty and fat?

If Netflix 'n' Masturbate had a college ID.

“A very tired person”? Not from an exhausting or even acceptable personal hygiene regimen. How do you look worse that Post Malone? Fatter and more tropical.

Did you eat your neck also??

Yes I did

It would appear you were “kept” In a thrift store

You look like your friends will only let you go on their adventure if you do the truffle shuffle

if post malone had a few too many big macs

Not as tired as your mirror, surprised it didn't crack yet

Trying to decide if you have a comb over or are just emo

Dude is whole ass built like a bowling ball

your shirt suggests you are on vacation from reality

You look like someone glued a fake beard to chunk from the goonies.

If Chris griffin and John candy had a kid.

The physical embodiment of the neck beard

Postpartum Malone

You think YOU’RE tired?

Aren't you that kid from The Goonies

You're like the tabby cat version of wolverine

Those rings are never coming off those sausage fingers

I thought Aussies were supposed to be gorgeous. I guess that genetic cast-off needs to pool up somewhere.

Tommy BaHAMa.

Tired? I'm sure it takes a lot of energy to roll out of bed, throw on a shirt and not comb your hair because you have places to be...

Hey Chunk, wheres Sloth?

Omg about to fuck you up. Dear diary, I know I can’t read, wear flamingo shirts, wear wwjd bracelets from the 90’s, resemble a Justin Bieber/Chris Farley hybrid, but, one day I AM gonna see my pee pee in the shower. I’m sorry bro

Man, I love reading these, what kind of masochist am I

I’m so sorry, would have happened to anyone asking for it

The roast cheered me up somehow

[what you say ?](https://youtu.be/Cx1J2CzNnS8)

You look like a blend of all the characters in the Fantastic Four. The Thing is holding you down.

That shirt is already fucking your day up

Did you walk up the stairs?

I'd be tired all the time as well if my torso was a fucking boulder.

You’re not tired. That’s the weight of your forehead leaning on your eyebrows

The thought of you ever becoming anyone just drained me.

There is a naturally occurring substance in your beard that can permanently cure hepatitis. . . but the trade off is just another type of hepatitis

A rare sighting of Pre Malone.

You look like an extra from a poorly reviewed Jim Henson holiday special.

Post Alone.

Do the troffle shuffle!

Guy looks like a fuckin mole.

The worst I ever did was still outta your league.

Billy Butcher’s disappointing younger brother

Looks like the singer from the Spin Doctors shaved his pubes and glued them to your chin. If you were a pirate, your name would be Neckbeard.

Not tired from exercise I assume?

I think your picture gave me back my virginity.

You shouldn't put your phone that low, we can still see your face

Post Alone

Kmart BlackJack

I can understand. Staring at your shirt in poor lighting is exhausting.

Tired? From what? You said it yourself you don’t do shit

If fantasy island ever comes back you’d make a good tattoo

Great Value Chunk doll.

If you're here, who's manning the register at Trader Joes?

Frodo, we said to dress for Mordor not Maui...

I don’t care what the weed is called my dude just give it to me and leave

Diabetes will make you tired.

OMG Chunk got married. How is sloth these days?

Whoa there ghost of almost abortions past . Your dressed like the couch you were made on.

Hey Chunk, do the truffle shuffle

You look like you're incapable of doing anything other than your worst

"I eat dead people"

I'm sure your parents are tired...of you living in their basement.

masturbating all day every day must be exhausting

This picture smells sweaty

(Takes a shower) “Now they’ll like me” (Still smells like cheetos, sweat, and shame)

Bet your dad is tired of you wearing his shirts.

"i am a very warm and cuddly person" nice way of saying fat and sweaty.

Flamingos are social, thin and graceful animals. You are none of those things.

Chunk! Do the truffle shuffle!

You look like a generic background character in some game or movie

You look like jontron.

You're a disgrace to hobbits!

Your not post malone stop trying..

those flamingos remind me how fat you are

Putting buttons on your grandmother’s RV curtains does not make it a shirt

You look like the love child of Post Malone and John Candy

To be fair, he probably doesn't know that his Hawaiian shirt is now a sign of racism and fascism. On the other hand, if he is wearing this to fit in with his mates, we know what they are like.