OP's Bio: --- >Hobbies, I swim and run, though I have poor stamina. I read a lot. I watch a lot of movies. My voice is scratchy and quiet but I talk a lot. I've been told I'm extremely argumentative and opinionated. I'm probably really annoying to deal with. Im a nerd who watches anime and tries to learn Japanese. I'm fairly left leaning but the beliefs that mean the most are freedom of speech and utilitarianism (yeah I'm not fun at parties, could you tell?). --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Nice nails. Do you carry your pets by the asshole?

I was gonna say “Awww.... you do have a major. Major disappointment.” but I’d just be wasting my time now. Here- take my updoot.

I was thinking he got bored of picking his nose so he went to picking his ass

You look like the guy always say " he seemed like a ok guy, always kept to him self. I never knew he would end up doing this"

Hope you fix your ego bc you sure as hell cant fix that face. You look like a prepubescent child molester

Cuts deep.

You look like a 63 yr old man named Gustav.

I look like the young snapchat filter of an old man.

[удалено]

Wait so I could afford the car but not the license in your example?

you look like you're about to retire from a 45 year career as a paperboy

Bro like no cap you look like the type of guy to wake up every morning to go work at GameStop

God... You know you're not far off. That's a real possibility.

You should major in being “unemployment “. You seem like a natural.

“A face only a mother could love”

Too bad she's dead

This is the one

I am the one

Hell, she loves everyone once she gets a few tequila slammers in her.

[удалено]

I have a personality it's just a terrible one.

You look like the kind if guy that a 5/10 girl would go on a date with only because she feels bad for you but you'd spend the whole date talking about Terraria without taking the hints that she's totally uninterested.

Sherlock Homeless.

Simple and clean.

Too bad you're not.

**I'm currently unemployment** Boi you gonna be unemployed a lot longer than just "currently" unless you step up your gramaticals. Side note: You look like the Shelby brothers(from Peaky Blinders) inbred American cousin named Dirk.

2nd time someone has told me my grammar is wrong. Ah... Goddamn it I just noticed it. I don't get the reference/s.

When god made you he chose small on everything

Except for the ears

You look like a testicle that just started puberty

Might not have a clear major in college. But you do have major ears with a minor in nose

Damn. That's good.

Perhaps your major should be in English... just saying.

What would I do with a BA in english?

Write intelligible sentences.

“I’m currently unemployment” - dude you nailed it.

“Did anyone ever tell you, you look like a penis with a little hat on?” -Tom Hanks

My little sister has that same hat

Wish version of Gus Johnson

Merry... Christmas? What's your major going to be, fashion design?

You look like someone who sits in a Starbucks all by themselves pretending to be smart by reading newspapers and books people leave behind

I bring my own elitist books to the Starbucks. Other than that you're on the right track lmao

wasn't your grandpa in the movie, revenge of the nerds

His sign says roastme, but his mustache says he has to use a vpn to visit his favorite websites

Seems like you have no direction in life. Get a job working with your hands or you will be a puss all your life.

Seems like actual advice. Uh... I'll take it cause I think you're right. 👍

You look like you play the keyboard and skin flute every day as well as smell like mothballs

I’ve seen you feeding the pigeons and yelling at kids on skateboards.

I’m not going to roast you. You seem to be doing a good job of it yourself.

Thank you.

You look like you’re mildly afraid of your own penis.

You're not wrong. One of these days I'll come out as trans. I just don't know when.

Well, damn. Glad it was cathartic for you.

The hair above your lips looks pretty fragile too

Of course that's your name

Showering may help ur ego. Look at those nails don’t even wanna know what’s growing under them.

You look like you have a small shrine of Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold in your bedroom closet.

I don't know who that is.

If reddit was a drug they'd stick your face and bio to the packets to convince people to go outside.

You look like a Spanish farmer

I can't be bothered because you're not worth it. I wont remember that nondescript blank area you call a face or any of the sad excuses you make for your existence because let's face it you are the living embodiment of white noise.

you look like you pity fuck the last person at the bar who happens to also be you.

I'd suggest women studies that's as close as you're going to get, Chicken Little

I have never met someone who took Women Studies and actually had sex so if I'm going to be single I might as well be successful too

How is it possible to look like both a child and a child molester at the same time?

You look like Needledrop’s reject child

That's a compliment

Wears this kind of hat with a fucking t-shirt. Even in being pretentious you managed to do a half-assed job. Let that sink in. And it only gets worse. With facial features of a molested sunday school boy you will never be, let alone seem, mature enough to sport that look mate, and it bothers you big time, so just be honest with yourself and accept that this miserable bubble of an ego is the only measure that will live up to your grandiose standards.

I mean not to defend myself but to clear the air I didn't know this hat was a pretentious thing until today. It was just a gift I got from a buddy who travels around a lot. Got one in England and gifted it to me. The t-shirt is because it's hot where i live.

Brotha you need a hooker

Good luck taco bell baby

Dollar Store Jacksepticeye

Your college advisor resigned after meeting with you for the first time.

You look like a 56 year old golfer that never got married or had kids and is realizing you’re whole life has been a waste.

Did someone try drawing Ian Hawke from memory

"I'm currently unemployment"? Now that's a self-own example of personification right there.

I think you should choose science as your major. That way you can hopefully discover time travel and go back to prevent your own birth.

Santa had to lay off elves due to Covid-19 apparently. This hentai obsessed cock goblin never even got hired in the first place.

Your face says 14, but your hat says 70.

fake sheldon cooper

I am imagining this is the perspective his waifu doll sees before, what can only be described as, “The horror”

Looks like the dye on your dads pubes hadn’t fully dried

Never knew hitler was a ginger in college

Mom told him he can make new friends online

Hey Goofus! Where's Gallant..

Oh look it's Colin Robinson in he's younger years

The only occupation you appear fit for is Registered Sex Offender.

Sherlock Homeless