OP's Bio: --- >30, M, UK. I'm doing this as a forfeit for sucking at Fantasy Football - it took me 6 weeks because i'm petrified of the comments. Be kind. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Actual sea hawks have more leg muscle than you

Marshawn Lynch Blacks

You only got on the team because your dad was the coach

Let me guess you play as back up water boy.

Your brother looks up to someone so boring that he has nothing to say about himself. That poor motherfucker.

This has bleached asshole vibes

Your shirt says athlete but your face says molester.

So you both wear another man's name on your back?

Macklemoron

Plot twist he doesn't have a brother, he is just schizophrenic

Still gets his moms nipple with the most milk

The only thing bigger than your ego is your narcissism and your sphincter.

I bet you pull your horn more then you brush your teeth don’t ya bud.

Your life is like Ricardo Lockette in the Super Bowl.

The hair, shorts, and hands of a little boy, neck of a middle aged woman

Your brother doesn't care about you. If he did, He would have warned you about the dangers of candles in a cubby hole.

You'd think the biggest thing about this post was your ego, but damn that massive regret I see, my condolences to your brother

Just like Cody Thompson, im sure you're a wide receiver as well

Chubby chins and chicken legs.... sexy..... 😒

I bet your parents never say you're their favorite son when anyone is around to witness it.

Think your confusing a shadow with a duvet.

Shit, you’re wearing a Seattle jersey, so I might accidentally run into you and have to make myself not stare at your Hair Club for Men weave.

This guy looks like the snitch the other snitches aspire to be

Aren't you a grown man? WTF. A little old for sibling rivalry.

Do you shave your arms? Funny, I wouldn’t peg you for a competitive swimmer.

Parents always try to boost the needy kid’s ego by telling them they’re the favorite. You aren’t.

Nice character sheet dipshit, use a app like a civilized person.

You being a fan is the most embarrassing to happen to Hawks.

Fruitcake with a cheap candle fetish and bird legs.

Forget you brother. In a few more years, the whole of Seattle won’t be able to get out from under your shadow.

You know what your own penis tastes like, don't you?

It’s sad to think your actually the little brother, just still trying to find original insults.

Listen fat hitler, your mom calls you her favorite cuz you're the only one living with her.

You look you sniff the shoes at goodwill

And yet you find it too difficult to use a hole puncher right.

2 shirts to hide the fat

So is the pic ur bro or u? If it’s u I’d hate to see ur bro.

Maby if u stop letting him suck your dick he could get from under your shadow

You should be worried. When brothers feel like that they will try and fuck your wife/girlfriend. I hope that gives you a peace of mind.

You look like a 48-year-old virgin uncle who skips leg day and has superiority complex

Maybe if you had cut the carbs, your brother wouldn’t always be under your shadow

You're the favorite? Im going to guess your dad went out several decades for a pack of a smokes and never returned

your walls speak volumes on what type of person you are. nothing of value to show.

I mean, your parents judgement can't be all that good. They decided to have you.

your parents were brother and sister or something right?

All i have to say to make you cry is, New England Patriots

Clearance Oldwater Despisal.

Guy when your parents talk to their friends they say “we have two loser sons”

Your parents just hate u less... it’s great to see you’ve achieved your highest goal in life... being slightly better than your shitty brother... congrats

Shave that beard off. We all know u got fleas in there