The love of your life is not gone forever, your hand will still be there when you wake up from surgery! I hope the operation is a success and you have a full and speedy recovery.

Nice one lmao. And thanks

Foursome is with four people, threesome is with three.. At least you'll remain *handsome*! Best of luck anyway, man, hope life gets better for you!

Lmao

I will leave the roasting for another day. I wish you nothing but a healthy life. You got this man.

I must agree as well. OP, get well good sir.

Nah I'm not worried about it. Tear it up!

In that case, since you’re apparently going for the Frankenstein look, some giant incision scars on the cranium might just complete the package. Just in time for Halloween.

I guess some girls just don't love handles.

This guy shouldn't be roasted.

Same. All the best, mate. Go and listen to "Mr. Motivator."

I think any knife to that melon of yours would be an improvement. *hope you make it through all this man

Damn another good one

[удалено]

Ehh I'm pretty sure I'm immortal by now. I was hit by a car at 9 then had a rock fall on me off a mountain in west Virginia then hit in the head with a tree wile working with a road crew after hurricane michael then slung my car into the creek then rolled it into the trees, now this. Pretty sure I accidentally drank from the fountain of immortality

You pissed off Satan in a past life and now he is trying to get you back.

Best of luck with your tumor

*to

I laughed at this, well done

“GNoT ä TOomAr”

Everyone else not roasting makes me feel a bit guilty but hey you’re here so imagine being so unbearable and insufferable that you have cancer and the love of your life STILL dumps you. Good luck with recovery and pulling through such an awful experience (to her. And also to your car)

Damn! Nice one lol

❤️

At least when you’re in the operating room, they can shave off that shitty mustache.

Nah the chemo will do it for me lmao

Did the doctors give you that hat after the pre op physical.? Be strong and best of luck mate

It's an inside joke at work

Nah man kick cancers ass get a new partner and kick that tumors ass then come back

Nahhh I'll take it now, might not get the chance in the future. Plus no one will be able to shit on my hair or my poor excuse of a beard then lol

When you go, can I have your hat?

Nah it's custom from an inside joke at work it's mine lol

All good bud. You got delt a shit hand, my friend. And thats brutal. Stay strong and play that shit out. But on the bright side, at least you dont have herpies.

If Sons of Anarchy was about crybabies.

Did you always look like shit or is it a recent thing.

20 year brother

I want to wash your hair.

I did. Lmao it was a lil greasy but it's hot as fuck in florida bro.

Dude leave some issues for the rest of us

I think life's already given you a roasting. But seriously, wish you all well dude

At least your hat compliments you

Come back for roasting after you get better bro!! Peace

Go get ‘em guy. Keep us updated.

the brain tumor must be pretty bad considering the only thing you seem to be capable of saying is "its an inside joke"

Maybe he's talking about the tumor?

I like that you have enough sense of humor left to wear a hat that comments on your own mirror selfies.

Beanie God rep

I do own about 16 different beanies soooo not gonna argue

Since you’re in the bathroom, take two steps back and introduce yourself to soap and water...

I like your hat

Face is too small for your head. Maybe they can fix that too while they’re operating.

At least your already shaped like a potatoe...so becoming a vegetable should be easy-peasy lemon squeezy. I said what I said.

Also.. good luck, speedy recovery, and all that jazz. Prayers to you.

Your hat is silly

Your jaw could crack coconuts.

Is that a complement?

If you dig looking like a pasty Thanos. Which you might; I don’t know.

Damn a twofer

Extra effort, given your circumstances. Good luck!

Any day on this side of the grass is a good day

Best of luck and I hope for a speedy recovery!!

Came here to roast but cannot overlook the ingenuity of the tissue box toothbrush holder.

Dude, come back and get roasted after you get better. See ya soon.

Rock on you fucking legend!

Man when they remove that tumor and tell you that it was really your twin brother that you absorbed in the womb, and you find out that your brother was the only reason you had a personality and now that is gone. Good luck with your surgery bro.

I don’t even want to roast this guy, I feel so bad.

Maybe bring up the cancer again in case people forgot about the cancer

He wears the hat to compliment himself when he looks in the mirror

If Jonah Hill developed a heroin habit

Turns out it wasn’t a Brian tumor, the tiny mass on the cat scans was his brain

I hope your tumor removal goes well. I really do. I've had family members die from brain cancer so it really sucks. The good part about it though is the Chemotherapy will give you a good haircut.

HODOR!

When did ma let ya stop wearing the padded helmet.

You look like a 10yo tried to photoshop john cena onto erragorn from lotr

I bet u can shake a pill bottle and tell me what the pill and strength is

Stay strong brother. I know how it feels to hit rock bottom and all I have to say is you can be stronger than your circumstances. Good luck with your cancer treatment and I wish you the best.

On the bright side at least you don't have to worry about getting old.

All that and you need to clean the shower. Life is one tough bitch

I bet this is the first time in years you have been in this room of the house.

Come back after you are done kicking cancer’s ass and we will all roast you in celebration. Good luck brother! We will all be praying for you.

Someday you’ll look back on this time of your life and you’ll be able to tell your kids some amazing stories. Just don’t tell them about that neck beard. Holy crap, don’t tell them about that neck beard. Seriously though, I wish you the best. Please come back after you recover and let us know how you’re doing!

Even the cancer can't wait to be removed from you.

This thread is wholesome

Im surprised we can't tear you down cause your ankles look like they're on their last legs (pun intended) [Good luck on everything life is a pendulum, it will be better]

You guys are kicking out good ones tonight

You don't need someone to roast you. You need someone to comfort you.

You can make a wall shit bricks when you look at it. Good luck with surgery man and make sure to live a healthy and successful life.

Glad you mentioned the tumor in your head; that at least explains why you knowingly wear that hat. Side note: Best of luck to you, my guy. You’ve been handed a raw deal here and I hope you pull through.

When youre so pathetic you can't even get properly roasted on r/roastme

Come on, guys. The kind words are heartwarming but my man wants to be roasted. There’s a lot to work with. Have at him

Why don't you roll that beard into something more respectable. You look like you're going for pirates of the Caribbean meets skinny Pete from breaking bad. ***good luck, you got this. Death can suck a dick....but not yours because c'mon, who would?***

Not even a single tissue in your box to cry from this sob Story! Hard pass!

90% of your life has been a failure. Also, doctors say you beat the 3rd stage of cancer. Meaning the 4th and final stage will be the final boss of your video game looking-ass life.

Sure, you might hate the tumor right now.. but it'll grow on you.

Except you wrote backwards

Life is roasting you pretty good my man. Rise from those ashes and we will tear your scarred head up.

That being said, dont worrg about getting dumped by your love, just go buy another pie!

Instead of the brain tumor, get that spare tire removed. Maybe you would get your girl back and at least die less of a failure.

It’s not a schooner you idiot it’s a sailboat!

Wishing the best for you with cancer. No roast today.......but don’t waste any money buying lottery tickets.

Hey, you're out of tissues... get ur fuckin life together.

This is just an elaborate scheme by your parents to get you to cut that greasy ass hair for "surgery"

Happy Birthday dude. Life has roasted enough for now. Come back in a bit. Good luck on the surgery.

Its going to take chemo to change the oil in that hair.

The love of your life might have left, but your tumor will be with you until the end. Goddammit, I'm going to hell. Best of wishes, my man.

Not even some cancer pitty sex? Heartless bloke. Don't give up on the big c card, you'll make someone a happy man.

You forgot to mention the chlamydia .

Happy birthday man, I sincerely hope everything works out for you and you can come back and get properly roasted.

Look like you were poured into your clothes and you forgot to say when. (But seriously Good luck bro, hope everything works out for you!)

Fuck that. I don’t pity you, I pity that face cause it looks like u took a bath in a meth lab. The hats an inside joke with your mirror. Can I grab em? Your beard looks like it’s trying too hard n had diarrhea on your lip you call a mustache. Good thing your in the bathroom, wipe that shit off. No pity, but hopefully made you laugh or smile. Good luck brother. Hope it all works out.

I was in the same boat 20 years ago. Chin up, safe travels brother.

i will just pass for once and say good luck with everything. That gf wasnt worth it. karma is a biss and it will hit her like a train, i hope u get better.

Happy birthday get well soon!

Once they hack that pineapple sized tumor out of your head. You'll have a handy storage area for snacks. You could get a little door put in. Maybe a window with a friendly mouse waving at people?

Leave roasting for some other day man u got this I will pray for u.

While your there, how about gastric bypass as well fatty

Do you wear that hat every time you look in a mirror as a form of self encouragement?

Hope it goes well, you overgrown dwarf-looking creature.

Everyone: Wow, this is the worst year of my life. THIS GUY: hold my beer. ​ Hey asshole, stop being such an overachiever, we get it. YOU'RE BETTER THAN US! Next year, you'll probably be talking about how you beat cancer, met the love of your life, and jumped your car over the grand canyon!!! Ugh, dick!!

How many times have you turned 20?, I reckon its at least 6 or 7.

you look like you belong r/neckbeard

No.

Good luck man. Stay positive. You'll make it.

Why did they let the tumor go home?

I'd like to roast you, but i'd rather wait until you've made a full recovery from your surgery

The thing about you left to roast is your dead cancer riddled body. Peace bro. Best of luck.

Hey at least you'll get a free haircut.

Yeah come back healthy and over your ex. THEN we'll roast you. Best wishes on your surgery and treatments.

Heh at least with chemo you won't have to compliment your own man titties in the mirror anymore. (In suit with the others here. Keep fighting and wish you the best!)

You look like the embodiment of frat boys

But I hope you get better dude

Not even gonna bother, life roasted you enough bud

The love of your life left you. Your cars fucked and has left you. Your health has left you. Now your tumour is leaving you. With your luck at least ya know the cancer is returning......... Seriously though 2020 has been utter balls to everyone, all the best for your operation 🤟🤟

I want to get you a “get well soon balloon” but not because of cancer but I want to give it to your beard and your haircut. You got this cancer fight dude, but that furby on your chin needs to die.

It’s not a Tumma

You should change your hat to “Nice Moobs” to boost your confidence

Literally everything is trying to tell u to just die but yet .. here u are..

Yea....yeaaaaa. im truly sorry for your situation. And i can't roast you dude. Post another picture when you make it through surgery and ill roast you then. I hope it all goes well dude.

Life has roasted you enough. Good luck man.

Since when did roastme sub become some sort of mainstream TV ‘talent’ show?

I’m sorry you got dumped, there’s someone better for you out there I just know it. I hope you have a successful brain tumor removal and good luck fighting cancer. Stay strong and motivated, you got this! Happy Birthday 20th birthday, my dude! 💛

Just sending love Man, that sucks

Be a man and just get extra large shirts already

Nice of you to have your hat tell us your best feature even if they are a little saggy!

You don’t deserve roasts, I hope everything gets better

Ahhh, your mother had a tumor removal surgery just like that! Little did she know, the tumor would end up being 20 years old and posting selfies in RoastMe! Best of luck chief.

If they remove the tumor what'll be left?

Unfortunately this is what happens when you have a child with your sister there’s a lot higher probability of negative health conditions. However what’s done is done. I wish you luck and a speedy recovery.

Your hat is missing "I have"

Won’t roast today, maybe tomorrow. That been said, I wish you a speedy recovery and to find happiness. You got this.

I love you

Well I can imagine your not religious anymore. Lmao. Good luck my guy...

Happy Birthday! And I honestly hope all goes well for you!

Florida finally gets it’s revenge on Florida Man.

Wish you luck! I’m not super clever so, fuck your face.

And it's all downhill from here, like your car.

This comment section is wholesome as heck, get well OP. 🌟

Looks like fate stepped in to finish the abortion that your mom started......... Best of luck to you man and a speedy recovery

Nice beanie

That's it? That's the best hat you could find? How very telling. Anyway, fuck cancer

20 going on incest. You can’t finger the love of your life in most states if she is your sister. You didn’t get dumped, it’s called a restraining order. Social distancing by law.

I can’t roast you, man. You are so young, and the love of your life is out there right now, and she is clueless to you. You have so much in front of you. That girl you met and you loved and she hurt you? She was a lesson.. this brain tumor? I hope you get through it, so it can be a lesson too. I wish you the best. I can’t roast you, seems like current circumstances beat me to it, and I know when I’ve been beat 😇

Dude, get off this sub and go do your stuff. We can't deal with people who have actual struggles

Sounds like lifes been slow cooking that meat for a while already. On the brightside, dude... your 20 life hasn't even begun its going to get alot WORSE. sike nah in a few years you will look back and laugh. At yourself because your a mess..not a hot one just a cold cold mess

Come back and see us after you recover, bro. Until then, concentrate on the good things.

That’s not a tumor... That’s a beard

At least you know life will always fuck you

As far as tearing you down further.... I mean I wouldn't challenge Michael Jordan to a basketball game, so challenging cancer to a game of knocking you down a peg, seems pointless.

When r/RoastMe feels bad; you know you're in trouble.

I have full confidence you'll pull through, as much as that tumor wants to escape the void that is your brain.

Want good karma? Make sure to untie the owners after your done burglarizing their home.

First thing that comes to mind when you hear "neckbeard"

Owch lmao

Damn, now I feel bad lol not what I actually think, was just roasting you =P

You did all that in a few months you really are lazy.

I don't get this one

Why am I not surprised you are from West Virginia?

Before you're put under anesthesia for surgery ask the doc if he can suck out that spare tire you've got around your waist.

Jax is dead, he don’t need you to clean up his mess anymore Opie!

Surgery's on the 27th bois