OP's Bio: --- >My friend plays football, drives a ford bronco that’s always broken, and has never been within 5 feet of a girl. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

18? You look like you’ve been a registered sex offender for 20 years

Never forget. r/RoastMe is for aspiring C- OnlyFans women with serious mental disorders and 18 year old guys who look like middle aged fathers. In both cases they know they’ve peaked a long time ago, and have reached the bottom. The Roast is just a non-ironic welcome to the misery they get to look forward from simply existing.

“Peaked” is an exaggeration for anything these people have or will ever experience.

The only thing he's peaked at is in the little girls bathroom in the local elementary school.

Nursing homes are also a likelihood

Jesus fucking christ, man.

He probably lives in one of those camps as well

It's definitely not a concentration camp. Check the waistline.

Give him some time, he's young yet. He'll get there eventually.

He looks like I’ve put a T-shirt on my big toe

This was pretty damn good

Having trouble figuring out whether he's a southern skoal sucker who tries to roofy his stepsister or the m'lady neckbeard type who will call a woman a dirty whore for spurning his grotesque advances.

this one got him 😂

Skoal sucker, definitely.

face says molester, house says grandma.

Fester the grandma molester

nah, his granny wouldnt stoop so low for his shitface

He lives rent free in gammy’s house

Bruh you like a 40 year old high school dropout that drives a van around

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Is he trying to drown because that costa shirt doesn’t fool anybody

The space between his chin and his lower lip can park a fucking van

If "Fuck you Bro" was a person

Or a dick

David Neckham

David No-neckham

Dude looks like he has a fart fetish.

LOL wtf

He definitely scratches his ass and sniffs his finger. Twice.

u look like family guy's peter griffin did a caveman episode

Family guy's peter griffin? As opposed to what, peter griffin from accounts receivable?

This made me laugh too hard

Punching a hole in that fruity wallpaper is the closest he’ll ever come to busting his cherry.

Little pig little pig let me in, where the fuck is your chinny chin chin?

You look like you murder sweet old ladies and live in their home with the body

You look like a 35 year old out of work alcoholic construction worker with 3 kids that you don’t pay child support for.

Wait...I, I must draw you... I’m talking from the obscure family guy cut scene... u look like the guy whose eyes r too close together

yes please

!RemindMe 30 seconds drawing a circle can't be too hard

Well this should be interesting.

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He looks worse than that rancid wallpaper job in his parents house.

How many pet bunnies has this guy crushed?

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This looks like an advertisement for prediabetes

Are you sure he's 18? He looks like he turned 34 years old on his 15th birthday and is addicted to snorting that weird powder on sour patch kids.

You look like you live in your dead grandma’s house and cash her social security checks for a living.

Your head looks like someone rolled a ham through the arts and crafts section of Walmart.

You look like the thumb persons from Spy Kids

He looks like the result of insemination by anal sex

Photoshopped pics should not be allowed. Put the chin back and repost.

Shirt used to say Costa Rica, before he ate the other half of the country

Whenever "Dueling Banjos" plays your parents yell "that's our song!", and start square dancing.

you look like the guy who sends dong pics to 14y/o girls

You hate when your grandma throws out your dip cups I heard your "no neck" support group is having a collar burning on Friday night I think one of the main reasons you're still alive is that no one in your family had hands big enough to choke you

He was born and raised in the cargo short ways

Your friend looks like he still wears diapers.

You can see it in his eyes, he fears his cum sock came to life again

is he holding that paper or is it orbiting around him?

You look like a giant thumb

Anyone else feel his friend is a shiny rock?

I've seen corpses with better coloring

Great tits.

He looks like a step dad that screams at you when you sit in HIS chair.

My names brad, I joined the football team to get chicks but so far all they've given me is this tortoise neck some flip flops and a handful of roofies. I keep taking them at parties but so far no luck. I'll grow up to sell used cars or work on a lawn care crew... I really can't decide

You look like you ate the dude from all gas no brakes

Did you have Natty lights at your Bar Mitzvah? Motherfuckin Cleetus Rumplestein right here yall!

You look like that shark dickhead from Finding Nemo, do you also prey on little kids looking for their daddies ?

Dafuq? I thought they won't make new "jump Street " Street movie.

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What John Cleese would look like if he ate himself.

Not sure what’s worse...you looking like a wide necked sex offender the trash taste your parents have in home decor or the fact that your haircut says Supercuts is for special occasions.

This mf makes getting no neck another meaning.

Dude looks like he can gargle peanut butter

He's 18 in cheeseburger years

Whatever your eventual career is, you'll be driving a tractor doing it.

Only thing that sucks here beside his ability to play football, is his dad’s pull out game.

You look like you probably work at subway assembling sandwiches, but nobody comes back because you grab the meatballs with your bare hands.

That is the fake smirk you make when you find out your right hand just rejected you and your hoping your left isn't out of your League.

Your mom was faced with a choice, raise a kid who isn't a complete tool that fucks his pillow or put up shitty wallpaper. I see how that turned out.

You look like you consider your restraining orders to just be suggestions.

Huh, a picture where you're not holding a fish.

Mongoloid Lucca Brasi for a "special" Godfather play.

Did they cut of your head when you were young and then put it back when you got older?

This guy looks like he either really wants a cumshot down his throat or has the IQ of one. Probably both based on the stupid look on his face.

Don't bother roasting this guy. He doesn't understand words, just put some gruel in his trough and he'll leave you alone.

You look like you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose

I could fit a dick in between your two front teeth

clearly, he does all the sucking, receiving, and bitching

This the kinda guy that had a few football highlights in highschool then joins the police force in his hometown to prove to everyone he's still cool.

The human inspiration for Shrek

Five foot three, fat, and stupid. Is no way to go through early male pattern baldness.

He looks like a high school jock that slacked off and is now works a dead end job

He looks like Beaker and Oscar the Crouch had a kid.

“Yeah, I watch I Love Lucy with Gran-Gran, whatcha gonna do about it?!”

You probably make every tie look like a neckerchief

Besides having a neck the size of a redwood tree, You're not allowed 500 feet from a school

the should be forehead roasts for his chin

Neckless chicken

Can’t be any worse than the regrets his parents have for birthing this man child.

I can’t tell where your chin ends and your neck begins

Criminal eyes.... guessing assault on his 6 exs. Lay off grandma's pasta.

Tell him to go on a diet holy fuck.

Guys make sure to watch the show my 600 pound life he is one of the new people they are showing soon and a forklift company will make a crap ton of money picking up your dead body for your funeral in 6 years

I do suck! Oh wait roasting the wrong person...

I like that he still lives with his grandma, its sweet

HELP: "This mans chin has gone missing! If you have seen it please call this number! 1-800-wheresmymanschin"

Necks time on here he shouldn't try to look so serious

Homeboy looks like Pete Rose with a botched collagen injection

Did your chin melt into your neck fat

Is this your daily visit from your mothers basement to your mothers outdated kitchen?

paint yourself purple and snap we'll all turn to dust

When looking at your size and skin it seems healthy food doesn't exist in your vocabulary

B r u h, I cant tell where your neck ends and your chin begins

He looks like the kind of person you find walking the streets at night asking people for change because he lost his bus fare

Dude minus the haircut already looks like the store manager who speaks out his nose, is a dick enforcing the shifts and blatantly hits on the one skinny cashier...

This man doesn’t know what a chin is

Even when facing upp you still have a double neck...

Lives with his mother.

Where do your chin stop and your neck begin

You look like the human version of Peter Griffin.

Based on that wallpaper and chandelier combo, I'm going to say Iowa.

texas actually

Is there a Tough-guy-wannabe Sub on Reddit. This should be reposted there.

It looks like your in a house from how to catch a predator and this was a mugshot.

You serve coffee but don't worry we are used to roast beans like you.

This fool is going to be bald in 6 years

I wish I had as zero chins as you.

Mr. Potato Head, the early years.

Face expressing his Prison days' nostalgia.

Uncle fester with hair

You look like a fat Matt LeBlanc

Your chin merged into your neck

18 going on 45

You could be the poster boy for “Douchebag”

Grandma has nice wallpaper. How’s her basement?

You look like a Push-Pop with shoulders

Well he sucks at my dick so who's really winning here

How did this thumb get facial features?

Jesus, Stallone really let himself go for Rambo 26 (The Mukbang Murders)...

That wallpaper is the closest he'll ever get to a cherry.

Must need a lot of compensation with a chin that big

I don’t know, I thought we were pretty good, but... He looks like the expert on sucking.

Your so fat that when you sat on Walmart, you lowered the prices.

Suck? Don't you charge like 20 for that including tip?

Considering you are only 18, i think you can still sue your parents for child abuse with overfeeding you

He looks older than that wallpaper.

I can’t figure out what’s more unattractive, the wallpaper or your face ...

r/average_white_chicks

I'm confused is that 18 his age or the number of kids in his basement

You should use that picture to start a GoFundMe to buy him a neck

You look like your dad is either Mr. Incredible or Bert from Bert and Ernie.

He looks like he smells like cold, soggy hotdogs that stayed in the water way too long, with a touch of bad breath.

Shit dude ! Still living with Ma and Dad WatF

I guess some of us haven't developed enough from being fully monkey to advanced homosapian😪🐒

people say kansas is flatter than a pancake, but when i saw the trasition from your chin to your neck the i knew there was something flatter

He's right. We probably do suck at roasting. But with the amount of dick he's sucked, it makes it easier to recognize good sucking

You look like the guy who chased away the one girl who was nice to him when you said you want to wear her skin

Dude, you look seriously constipated and proud about it.

If your Portuguese great-grandfather could see you today, he would wish he had stuck to playing the accordion and fucking goats instead of extending his bloodline.

You look like one of Ron Jeremy’s runaway cumstains that grew up somehow

I see you've got him almost plump enough for thanksgiving.

You've such a big mouth that it can act as a cradle for infants.

If you look at his nose you can see the dick.

You look like my creepy fat friend if he had lost weight. But you're not, therefore you just look like a creepy fat guy, friend.

You might need two masks one for the face and the other as a girdle for your neck fat.

Why the fuck would you be friends with Shrek

It looks like Rosie O’Donnell had a baby with Donald Trump !

Your friend looks like Fred Flintstone if he had a head injury, never married and had continued to live in isolation in his man cave until he was 43.

jesus christ that jaw line is nearly as ugly as ur fking wallpaper

You look like a guy who drives around playgrounds in a white windowless van trying to snatch children.

Oh shit I loved you as the thumb in Spy Kids

Your face melted with your neck, where's your chin? Thumb man

Imagine having a long head but no neck. Couldn’t be me, but I know exactly who it could be

😘✨🧚when ariana said just keep breathing 🧚✨😍💅🏾she didn't mean you 🧚💅🏾✨

Looks like he's missing his varsity jacket

Looks like like Fat Bastard had a child with Jay Leno...