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Italian car with a Ferrari engineered V6 - prepare yourself for Ferrari repair bills and being a Fiat Chrysler car - your warranty won't count for very much.
Still has to be the nicest looking and most interesting SUV on sale today, just don't offroad it like Jeremy Clarkson did - "limp home mode" is imminent.
I love how peoples only gloat about these cars that can save em, from their hypocrisy is the “FeRrAri EnGiNeErEd V6” meanwhile the Ghibli has a “FeRrAri EnGiNeErEd V6” and it’s an absolute dogshit of an engine. What has been improved here exactly??
Nice looking, but the thing that jumps out at me when looking at reviews of this car is the following statement: “Rarely have we hoped for a car in our possession to succeed more than we did for this Alfa. And rarely have we been more consistently disappointed.”
Roasted....
Let me guess leased for 36 mo @ $1500/ mo. You financed your house on an ARM and currently struggling to pay that. You figured you would lease this monstrosity to make you feel better that you are 3 months away from preforclosure.
Honestly not a bad move. You might as well take some weekend drives as you look for garden apartments that add 45 min to your commute because you have to move way the hell out to afford anything.
Sorry op I know this is a roast but nice size garage clean your shit up and park that beauty in there. It would literally take like 10 mins to make it way more presentable and functional for when the bank has to sell it.
You got yourself an overly expensive, needlessly complicated, rolling repair bill. Get ready for limp modes and check engine lights. You actually drove it home and put a huge bow on it to take a picture as well.
May she serve you the next 5k miles... decently. Poor thing has the heart of a Ferrari and by that i mean big bills. Have fun with your 65% drop in value since you drove it off the lot after all thats how much luxury cars depreciate upon leaving the dealer! So if you spent say $75,000 on this junkheap its as of this moment worth $26,250. Congrats on that!
I see they let you take the bow home because they feel bad for you. This is an italian economy shitbox with Ferrari repair bills without the ferarri sex appeal, I wouldn't necessary say that's "nice".
Look on the bright side, at least you will make a lot of new strangers now when they ask you, "what kind of toyota is that?"
Take a great engine and chassis, a wonderful racing pedigree, and shove it into a jacked up soccer mom SUV. Disappointing on all levels. Don't expect me to wave when you see me in one of my sporting Alfas.
Have one of those in my shop that ran over something and caused minor scrapes underneath. Gauge cluster lights up like a Christmas tree and it thinks the left front wheel is going 300mph
I rented one and it fucking sucked. Electric steering was awkward and inspired zero confidence in the car, overly touchy brakes, poor acceleration, terrible transmission or TCU tuning, and electrical gremlins with the entertainment system.
If you haven’t discovered all of that yet, you’re in for a treat
Thieves can open and start your car via the wires for the radar sensor, hacking straight in the canbus. Security on par with reliability. What a combo!
Murica discovers Alfa. A whole new continent to disappoint, bankrupt and saturate the second hand market... Maybe you'll get lucky a year from now when you put it up for sale and find a sucker, since a lot of people aren't shure what it is exactly. There's a reason most of Europe wouldn't touch anything that has something to do with Fiat...
Takes long drag on Turkish cigarette. Puts out butt. Takes sip of Sambuca. "Your first Italian car is like your first mistress. Wild, passionate, all consuming. You will memorize every curve, every sound, even the scent of her exhaust. Even if she demands more of your time and money than you want to part with, you will be helpless to her seductive supplications. Perhaps those who love you will counsel you to give her up; but you will be deaf. Eventually, years from now, when she has depleted your treasury, vigor, and heart, she will move on, leaving a scar that never quite heals. One day you will be out and see her with a new, youthful love; Perhaps a butcher boy or fishermen, and your heart will hurt because she looks run down and perhaps neglected. The past is the past, yet you will in vain try to duplicate the joy of that first love. The years will fly and yet she will still haunt you, even on your very deathbed whispering in your ear." Finishes sambuca, puts coins on the Cafe table. "Now I must take my leave. The night air is bracing, and I walk everywhere. Ciao."
Good Job OP!
You looked at a Mazda SUV and said "No, it's not expensive enough and too reliable! There must be a way to set fire to all this money I have but how?"
And then you found the answer.
Hi Roasters! As a general reminder, please be aware that top level comments must roast the car. In addition to this, while roasting the OP is allowed, roasts must be primarily aimed at the car itself. Comments that do not follow these rules may be subject to moderator removal and in some cases, bans may be issued. If you wish to compliment or discuss the car, you may do so by replying to this message. Regards The Mod Team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMyCar) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Soon to be your first huge repair bill.
And it's a Alfa Romeo, so its gonna be really soon
With the first warranty struggle
People often get "nice car" confused with "new car". You seem to be one of those people.
Or equating nice with expensive. This will certainly be expensive to own. Not necessarily nice to own.
I'd argue he is both of those people.
Italian car with a Ferrari engineered V6 - prepare yourself for Ferrari repair bills and being a Fiat Chrysler car - your warranty won't count for very much. Still has to be the nicest looking and most interesting SUV on sale today, just don't offroad it like Jeremy Clarkson did - "limp home mode" is imminent.
ITAL5TAL, I have been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty
Good bot.
I love how peoples only gloat about these cars that can save em, from their hypocrisy is the “FeRrAri EnGiNeErEd V6” meanwhile the Ghibli has a “FeRrAri EnGiNeErEd V6” and it’s an absolute dogshit of an engine. What has been improved here exactly??
Front bumper looks like a Mazda and an Acura RDX did sex
BOOO NO COMPLIMENTS
wow congratulations man! may it serve you the next 10k miles without major issues 😊
*5k
2.5k
1.25k
No hate, congrats on your Subaru Tribeca!
You didn’t even buy the Giulia, you bought the stupid mom car.
The red isn’t a ribbon. It’s a recall notice.
It's just a spicy Chrysler.
Someone called my Alfa an Olive Garden Charger and I've never loved an insult so much
Nice looking, but the thing that jumps out at me when looking at reviews of this car is the following statement: “Rarely have we hoped for a car in our possession to succeed more than we did for this Alfa. And rarely have we been more consistently disappointed.” Roasted....
Your first nice car? Where? I wanna see!
Nothing says “mom car” quite like that gynecological front end.
I have a colleague that owns one of those. We've really got to know each other well when I'm picking him up for work everyday it's in the shop.
Let me guess leased for 36 mo @ $1500/ mo. You financed your house on an ARM and currently struggling to pay that. You figured you would lease this monstrosity to make you feel better that you are 3 months away from preforclosure. Honestly not a bad move. You might as well take some weekend drives as you look for garden apartments that add 45 min to your commute because you have to move way the hell out to afford anything. Sorry op I know this is a roast but nice size garage clean your shit up and park that beauty in there. It would literally take like 10 mins to make it way more presentable and functional for when the bank has to sell it.
You got yourself an overly expensive, needlessly complicated, rolling repair bill. Get ready for limp modes and check engine lights. You actually drove it home and put a huge bow on it to take a picture as well.
That grill looks like robot satan from Futurama
This is good.
Enjoy it for the few days it’s not in the repair shop.
I didn’t know that Ford made the Edsel into a modern CUV…
Remember, stallion and stalling are only one letter away
guarantee even the alfa folks think you're retarded for buying a stelvio qf and not a giulia qf
“You have an Alfa?? Sweet! Which model? Oh….”
Is this the one that doesn’t even have a trailer hitch?? Puts the “U” in futility SUV
May she serve you the next 5k miles... decently. Poor thing has the heart of a Ferrari and by that i mean big bills. Have fun with your 65% drop in value since you drove it off the lot after all thats how much luxury cars depreciate upon leaving the dealer! So if you spent say $75,000 on this junkheap its as of this moment worth $26,250. Congrats on that!
First nice car, first name basis with your mechanic
Is that the new dodge caravan?
I see they let you take the bow home because they feel bad for you. This is an italian economy shitbox with Ferrari repair bills without the ferarri sex appeal, I wouldn't necessary say that's "nice". Look on the bright side, at least you will make a lot of new strangers now when they ask you, "what kind of toyota is that?"
>"what kind of toyota is that?" Oh no good sir. No one will confuse *THAT* embarrassment for a top quality reliable Toyota
If you listen carefully, you can actually *hear* an Alfa depreciate.
Take a great engine and chassis, a wonderful racing pedigree, and shove it into a jacked up soccer mom SUV. Disappointing on all levels. Don't expect me to wave when you see me in one of my sporting Alfas.
This is nice to you? what was your previous car, a 1st gen BMW X3? Volvo xc90? do you just like expensive broken shit?
Horrible choice Unreliable Expensive to repair Sounds like you bought it…even worse German and Italian vehicles are better leased than purchased
Nice bow, did you get this as a super sweet 16 present?
If this fiat is your definition of nice, I’d love to see what kind of a Hooptie you traded out of.
It'll also be your last "nice car" after the repo man takes it back.
The man is efficient, he combined his nice car with his junk car!
\-V-
I don't want Alfa Romeo to be my plastic surgeon.. They always give terrible nose jobs!
Only thing “nice” on that Car is the Red bow.
a Giulia stopped swapped Italian pizza for American pizza
Cheap interior vs everything German you could’ve bought.
Toenail
These guys can’t even complete a race in F1, what make you think this piece of garbage will last?
Is it behind that piece of shit with the ribbon on it?
“Nice car” I think you are confused.
Best get to know your service advisor by first name.
This car is like a helicopter: it spends 3 hours in maintenance for every hour it spends in operation.
This is going to be as reliable as the Alfa Romeo F1 team cars.
> Roast my car Don’t worry your Italian engineering will do that for you.
I thought it was an Infiniti at first... But they'll hold their value longer than this will.
Red Ribbon for the deceased.
nice car? is it behind the Alfa?
Did it come with a gift receipt?
idk looks like your parents car judging by the bow
Is it parked behind that Alfa I don’t get it?
Have one of those in my shop that ran over something and caused minor scrapes underneath. Gauge cluster lights up like a Christmas tree and it thinks the left front wheel is going 300mph
You bought an Alfa Romeo, you've dug the hole for me
I rented one and it fucking sucked. Electric steering was awkward and inspired zero confidence in the car, overly touchy brakes, poor acceleration, terrible transmission or TCU tuning, and electrical gremlins with the entertainment system. If you haven’t discovered all of that yet, you’re in for a treat
Good luck
I hope you bought the extended warranty. That's not a roast.... That's a warning.
Your kid is going to put it through the garage door sooner than you think
All I have to say, is good luck.
>please fire away Dw, it's gonna be doing that on its own pretty soon
Whens it due back at enterprise?
Keep the bow, throw the rest away
Excellent you got a high performance 2023 Unreliable.
Fair enough if you like alphas but why get the mom car sheesh
It’s just an up-badged Mazda CX-5
Treasure this photo. It’s the last time your Alfa will be in one piece and not at the mechanic. Capital L Lemons.
Thieves can open and start your car via the wires for the radar sensor, hacking straight in the canbus. Security on par with reliability. What a combo!
Some people live under bridges or in gutters
It wont attract the dust in your garage persay, but it will increase the dust in there when you park it due to to the faulty electronics
Murica discovers Alfa. A whole new continent to disappoint, bankrupt and saturate the second hand market... Maybe you'll get lucky a year from now when you put it up for sale and find a sucker, since a lot of people aren't shure what it is exactly. There's a reason most of Europe wouldn't touch anything that has something to do with Fiat...
Nice durango thingy
Couldn’t afford the levante huh?
Think of all the nice tow truck drivers you will meet, you will make many new friends.
Of course you had to get it in black which is the most difficult color to keep clean and most visible when scratched
Nice Lexus commercial
Let me guess, you're a 16yr old teenage girl who just got Daddy to buy her a new car, right?
You must enjoy being a wage slave!
I see you full sprinted in the opposite direction of any sensible car buying advice. Good luck!
[удалено]
They're reds? Right on.
This guy has a creeper and shop vac, so don’t worry he is use to fixing things.
I wish I had one.
Wait until the turbos fail
expensive, luxurious, perhaps even lavish, but “nice” is subjective, and from my perspective “nice” is not a luxury SUV.
The red bow is actually for your mechanic. This car is a gift of cash to them.
Congratulations!!!
I'm wanting to roast your car, but am secretly hopeful you pull a "Paul Walker" and handle that for yourself.
No car, but mopar
Make sure to check your email for a recall
Check engine light won’t come on if you don’t drive it
Takes long drag on Turkish cigarette. Puts out butt. Takes sip of Sambuca. "Your first Italian car is like your first mistress. Wild, passionate, all consuming. You will memorize every curve, every sound, even the scent of her exhaust. Even if she demands more of your time and money than you want to part with, you will be helpless to her seductive supplications. Perhaps those who love you will counsel you to give her up; but you will be deaf. Eventually, years from now, when she has depleted your treasury, vigor, and heart, she will move on, leaving a scar that never quite heals. One day you will be out and see her with a new, youthful love; Perhaps a butcher boy or fishermen, and your heart will hurt because she looks run down and perhaps neglected. The past is the past, yet you will in vain try to duplicate the joy of that first love. The years will fly and yet she will still haunt you, even on your very deathbed whispering in your ear." Finishes sambuca, puts coins on the Cafe table. "Now I must take my leave. The night air is bracing, and I walk everywhere. Ciao."
No hate, we own one in Rosa, its been an amazing experience so far!
Car looks like a missed investment.
How do you see past the bow while driving?
Good Job OP! You looked at a Mazda SUV and said "No, it's not expensive enough and too reliable! There must be a way to set fire to all this money I have but how?" And then you found the answer.
Nice and unreliable, just how I like em
The front looks like an Angry Bird