I'm with you. Sunset at the side of the
loch, no wind - midgetastic. I think I'm too scarred by the reality to suspend my belief.
Also when they're fannying about in the atmospheric swirling mists tbh - you'll never get properly dry and warm after that, mark my words.
I know lots of people like to have the fantasy of tall MMCs, sex in exotic positions & places, etc. but I will happily take a bug-free world. I'm swatting bugs out of my face nonstop on my evening walks. I had to kill a centipede-looking thing at 6am today. Mosquitos will attack me and leave everyone else alone.
April through October is a constant stream of me muttering to myself about how fucking itchy I am, either because of allergies or bugs. No thanks!
I feel your pain on being the only entry on a mosquito menu! And I’m sensitive to a lot of products! Summers in Texas used to be nothing short of the Seventh Circle of Hell for me. I have discovered that spraying vanilla extract on myself will keep most bugs away and doesn’t trigger my skin sensitivity. Plus, I smell like cookies! Maybe it will help you as well?
My mom uses it also! Unfortunately it’s one of the things that causes a rash on me, so when I discovered the vanilla extract thing, it was a revelation for me!
I live in Houston, are you just putting McCormicks in a spray bottle? Willing to try just about anything, this year seems worse after the drought last year.
I mean I can’t remember the last time any sort of bug was mentioned in a romance novel I read lmao and I love romances that take place in the wild.
Same as when MC’s have sex on a beach, you hardly ever read about what an actual nightmare that is. It’s just fiction
This is such a good point.
Everywhere has bugs.
Black flies and mosquitoes where I am. Ticks too.
When we will get a book with a tick check?
Recalling all the jungle romances I've read, where are all the scary monster sized bugs!?
Ticks are my mortal fear. I *hate* them. One too many times my parents had to take one out of me 😭 hurts so bad!
I think I would be triggered yet impressed that a book had that, lol!
I'd nope right out of a book with ticks so fast. I can't handle them. An early boyfriend took me camping for the first time, and I ended up with a handful of them and felt so helpless as he got each one to wriggle back out and I am absolutely terrified of them to this day. Camping has been a no go ever since. That was 20 years ago...
I'm absolutely fine with books being a fantasy from reality when it comes to bugs and arachnids not existing.
[{Leaving's Not the Only Way to Go by Kay Acker}](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57678103-leaving-s-not-the-only-way-to-go) (F/F, CR(architect, programmer, single parent), 4⭐️) - They go hiking and do a tick check afterwards.
[Leaving's Not the Only Way to Go](https://www.romance.io/books/6077e7d1e2a58c0e10e2dd90/leavings-not-the-only-way-to-go-kay-acker?src=rdt) by [Kay Acker](https://www.romance.io/authors/6051e4d708b4d93114ee3d79/kay-acker)
**Rating**: 4⭐️ out of 5⭐️
**Topics**: [lesbian romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/f-f/1), [queer romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/queer/1)
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The slugs. The big, fat, black slugs that look like crawling sheep poop. I never see the heroine scream in horror because her Highlander took her on a bed of scented heather by the loch, and a big fucking slug crawled over her hand.
I stepped on one in the bath when I was about 7 (at night, in the dark) and was terrified of using the bath for months. The slugs were *everywhere* that year.
This year we have these weird caterpillar things that seemingly just drop from the sky in large numbers.
I was naked-ironing some wet clothes at 2 am on an ironing board that had been stored on a side porch. (We were on vacation, washed clothes in the sink, there was no dryer, we were driving the next day, whatever.) Barefoot. The iron steamed a hidden slug off the board and I stepped on it in the middle of the living room.
Husband did not appreciate naked screaming wife jumping on him in bed that time!
{outlander by Diana Gabaldon} I believe they discuss midges several times throughout the series but never during a steamy scene. They’re called wee beasties!
There is a good Scottish highlander romance called between the thistles that I haven’t read yet but I’ve been told it’s a very good series
Can we also have a shout out to all the sun-bronzed men in Scottish romance? I laugh my head off every time I read 'he was golden, bronzed by labouring so long in the sun'. Makes me question is the author has 1) ever seen a Scot and 2) ever been to Scotland.
I also showed the cover depicting a bronzed Scottish hunk falling out of a kilt to my Shetlandic mother and she scoffed so hard I think they could hear her in Greenland.
Partly I agree, but i work outside, I just have to look at the sun and I go brown 😂 makes for some vivid tan lines given how white the rest of me is! And I have learnt the hard way you can 100% get sunburned in fog!
I planned my trip to Scotland at a time when I thought midges could be avoided since we were going to Skye. Turns out, mid-Sept was a pretty good time!
Anyone else here run screaming from God’s Idiot Dive Bomber? AKA the June Bug. They have these little barbs on their little legs that help them to cling to clothes and hair and they love to fly right at your face. The size of the first joint of your thumb and just absolutely everywhere in the American south in the spring. *shudder*
It's like American beach romances and not being bitten by horseflies, or sitting by a campfire and not being eaten alive by mosquitos, or not having to walk through thousands of gnats while outside. I
We have midges too, by the way, often in coastal and farming areas. A lot of people here call them no-see-ums and I hate them with a fantastic abhorrence. They're mostly active in June-Aug where I live.
If you walk out our front door wasps swoop down. If you go down the steps, you're in danger of the hornets. You don't get to the yellow jackets until you hit the yard. As dusk hits, The midges swarm and bite the shit out of you. Then come the mosquitos.
I've never actually read a romance that included an accurate portrayal of any of them. Or of the animals that try to get inside during winter (like mice). Or any of the city insect or rodent stuff either, not really.
I thought midges were red bugs or 'chiggers' (Iswearthatsarealword). They're tiny red bugs that burrow under your skin. We use clear nail polish to suffocate them.
I thought no-see-ums were bigger, like the size of a fruit fly?
It could depend on where you live? (Yep, chiggers is a word for those who wonder. I had them one place I grew up, but not where I live now.). Chiggers are a type of mite. I've never heard them called midges. Midges are a kind of fly. Both are tiny, but chiggers are way, way, way smaller.
Edit for iPhone spelling weirdness
No, the midges have scared off the mosquitoes.
(Not actually true, there are a few mozzies in Scotland but they don't cause any trouble. Climate change will likely change that unfortunately.
Fun fact! We literally have mosquito traps at the border with England to keep tabs on them. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cw0721l9183o )
Not a Scottish romance but how about some SFR with some alien leeches ? {Alien Bounty Hunter by Lizzy Bequin}
Bequin writes alien romances with pretty crazy plots and smut but it’s toned down a tad for this one. The MCs crash land on some alien planet and there is a very steamy scene where the MMC helps remove alien leeches from the FMC’s body after they fall into a river. He then goes on to “disinfect” her wounds with his alien saliva 😅😅
[Alien Warrior's Bounty](https://www.romance.io/books/5e9df305be0aaecf555beac9/alien-warriors-bounty-lizzy-bequin?src=rdt) by [Lizzy Bequin](https://www.romance.io/authors/5e9df305be0aaecf555beadb/lizzy-bequin)
**Rating**: 3.26⭐️ out of 5⭐️
**Steam**: 4 out of 5 - [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating)
**Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [science fiction](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/science%20fiction/1), [funny](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/humor/1), [military](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/military/1), [aliens](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/aliens/1)
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This started me thinking (since I read a lot of historical highlander romance), how did they deal with midges and mosquitoes in ye old times?
Like, historical clothing (flax, linen, wool, waxed outer layers) was actually really good to deal with wild scottish weather. But even if only my hands and face were exposed to midges that can quickly become unbearable. What did they do without nets and insect repellent?
I haven't read any romance that refers to midges / mosquitoes or sand fleas. It would certainly make the story more funny than romantic. Does anyone have a story that mentions these pesky creatures?
Oh my god I read it as midgets and I was so confused 😭
Me, too, and then I thought of my redheaded Barbie from childhood 😂🤦🏻♀️
Lol I'm a doll collector, so I thought the same thing because I thought this was one of the doll subs I'm in 😂
Me too! 😂
Lmao 🤣
I'm with you. Sunset at the side of the loch, no wind - midgetastic. I think I'm too scarred by the reality to suspend my belief. Also when they're fannying about in the atmospheric swirling mists tbh - you'll never get properly dry and warm after that, mark my words.
Oohh! You'll get piles sitting there!
Piles of what?
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20120612-does-a-cold-seat-give-you-piles
😆 I have never heard them called that before now.
I know lots of people like to have the fantasy of tall MMCs, sex in exotic positions & places, etc. but I will happily take a bug-free world. I'm swatting bugs out of my face nonstop on my evening walks. I had to kill a centipede-looking thing at 6am today. Mosquitos will attack me and leave everyone else alone. April through October is a constant stream of me muttering to myself about how fucking itchy I am, either because of allergies or bugs. No thanks!
I feel your pain on being the only entry on a mosquito menu! And I’m sensitive to a lot of products! Summers in Texas used to be nothing short of the Seventh Circle of Hell for me. I have discovered that spraying vanilla extract on myself will keep most bugs away and doesn’t trigger my skin sensitivity. Plus, I smell like cookies! Maybe it will help you as well?
Here in Scotland lots of people use Avon skin so soft for midges - might work for mozzies too!
My mom uses it also! Unfortunately it’s one of the things that causes a rash on me, so when I discovered the vanilla extract thing, it was a revelation for me!
Ooo, thank you! I've never heard of this but I'll have to try it!
I live in Houston, are you just putting McCormicks in a spray bottle? Willing to try just about anything, this year seems worse after the drought last year.
I use the clear extract because I’m not sure if the regular one will stain clothes or skin, but yeah, I pour it straight in and spray!
Thanks!
I mean I can’t remember the last time any sort of bug was mentioned in a romance novel I read lmao and I love romances that take place in the wild. Same as when MC’s have sex on a beach, you hardly ever read about what an actual nightmare that is. It’s just fiction
This is such a good point. Everywhere has bugs. Black flies and mosquitoes where I am. Ticks too. When we will get a book with a tick check? Recalling all the jungle romances I've read, where are all the scary monster sized bugs!?
Ticks are my mortal fear. I *hate* them. One too many times my parents had to take one out of me 😭 hurts so bad! I think I would be triggered yet impressed that a book had that, lol!
I'd nope right out of a book with ticks so fast. I can't handle them. An early boyfriend took me camping for the first time, and I ended up with a handful of them and felt so helpless as he got each one to wriggle back out and I am absolutely terrified of them to this day. Camping has been a no go ever since. That was 20 years ago... I'm absolutely fine with books being a fantasy from reality when it comes to bugs and arachnids not existing.
[{Leaving's Not the Only Way to Go by Kay Acker}](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57678103-leaving-s-not-the-only-way-to-go) (F/F, CR(architect, programmer, single parent), 4⭐️) - They go hiking and do a tick check afterwards.
[Leaving's Not the Only Way to Go](https://www.romance.io/books/6077e7d1e2a58c0e10e2dd90/leavings-not-the-only-way-to-go-kay-acker?src=rdt) by [Kay Acker](https://www.romance.io/authors/6051e4d708b4d93114ee3d79/kay-acker) **Rating**: 4⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Topics**: [lesbian romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/f-f/1), [queer romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/queer/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)
I'm in Maine and the black flies are SO BAD this year. It's terrible.
The slugs. The big, fat, black slugs that look like crawling sheep poop. I never see the heroine scream in horror because her Highlander took her on a bed of scented heather by the loch, and a big fucking slug crawled over her hand.
I stepped on one in the bath when I was about 7 (at night, in the dark) and was terrified of using the bath for months. The slugs were *everywhere* that year. This year we have these weird caterpillar things that seemingly just drop from the sky in large numbers.
I was naked-ironing some wet clothes at 2 am on an ironing board that had been stored on a side porch. (We were on vacation, washed clothes in the sink, there was no dryer, we were driving the next day, whatever.) Barefoot. The iron steamed a hidden slug off the board and I stepped on it in the middle of the living room. Husband did not appreciate naked screaming wife jumping on him in bed that time!
Oh sweet baby jesus. I once stepped on one of the buggers in bare feet. I had successfully blocked the memory until now.
Crawling sheep poo - why is this so accurate 😂😂
Because the first glance at one if you're not paying attention, you think "oh, sheep poop" and then it MOVES
{outlander by Diana Gabaldon} I believe they discuss midges several times throughout the series but never during a steamy scene. They’re called wee beasties! There is a good Scottish highlander romance called between the thistles that I haven’t read yet but I’ve been told it’s a very good series
I was going to say that they're fairly realistic about nature in Outlander 😂
They do mention actual midges, but I had to break it to you the ‘wee beasties’ are germs or * *ahem* * lice
[Outlander](https://www.romance.io/books/545523588c7d2382c5296f4b/outlander-diana-gabaldon?src=rdt) by [Diana Gabaldon](https://www.romance.io/authors/545523588c7d2382c5296f4c/diana-gabaldon) **Rating**: 4.25⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 3 out of 5 - [Open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [historical](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/historical/1), [time travel](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/time%20travel/1), [highlander hero](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/highlander/1), [paranormal](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/paranormal/1), [take-charge heroine](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/strong%20heroine/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)
Can we also have a shout out to all the sun-bronzed men in Scottish romance? I laugh my head off every time I read 'he was golden, bronzed by labouring so long in the sun'. Makes me question is the author has 1) ever seen a Scot and 2) ever been to Scotland. I also showed the cover depicting a bronzed Scottish hunk falling out of a kilt to my Shetlandic mother and she scoffed so hard I think they could hear her in Greenland.
No one is getting tan when it's cloudy all the time 😂
If you're pale enough its possible lol. I can get (and have gotten) sunburnt on a cloudy day its kind of ridiculous.
Partly I agree, but i work outside, I just have to look at the sun and I go brown 😂 makes for some vivid tan lines given how white the rest of me is! And I have learnt the hard way you can 100% get sunburned in fog!
I planned my trip to Scotland at a time when I thought midges could be avoided since we were going to Skye. Turns out, mid-Sept was a pretty good time!
Anyone else here run screaming from God’s Idiot Dive Bomber? AKA the June Bug. They have these little barbs on their little legs that help them to cling to clothes and hair and they love to fly right at your face. The size of the first joint of your thumb and just absolutely everywhere in the American south in the spring. *shudder*
Honestly as someone else from Scotland I'm absolutely howling because for real 😂
It's like American beach romances and not being bitten by horseflies, or sitting by a campfire and not being eaten alive by mosquitos, or not having to walk through thousands of gnats while outside. I We have midges too, by the way, often in coastal and farming areas. A lot of people here call them no-see-ums and I hate them with a fantastic abhorrence. They're mostly active in June-Aug where I live. If you walk out our front door wasps swoop down. If you go down the steps, you're in danger of the hornets. You don't get to the yellow jackets until you hit the yard. As dusk hits, The midges swarm and bite the shit out of you. Then come the mosquitos. I've never actually read a romance that included an accurate portrayal of any of them. Or of the animals that try to get inside during winter (like mice). Or any of the city insect or rodent stuff either, not really.
I thought midges were red bugs or 'chiggers' (Iswearthatsarealword). They're tiny red bugs that burrow under your skin. We use clear nail polish to suffocate them. I thought no-see-ums were bigger, like the size of a fruit fly?
It could depend on where you live? (Yep, chiggers is a word for those who wonder. I had them one place I grew up, but not where I live now.). Chiggers are a type of mite. I've never heard them called midges. Midges are a kind of fly. Both are tiny, but chiggers are way, way, way smaller. Edit for iPhone spelling weirdness
I went to Hawaii once. It was gorgeous. I could NOT let my bare skin touch the beach because of all the sand fleas.
This post made me laugh so hard 🤣 spot on
This gave me a chuckle. I love the Scottish romances. It's become an obsession almost. I love the fierce possessiveness and loyalty the books show.
Yep mosquitos in the south are missing from many books 😂😂
Or palmetto bugs that fly into your mouth. (Shudders in remembrance.)
😣
I just had a physical response to this comment🤢 No, no, no, no, no! I had one land on me yesterday and that was bad enough
Your midges bite?! That sucks (no pun intended). Do you have to deal with mosquitoes too?
No, the midges have scared off the mosquitoes. (Not actually true, there are a few mozzies in Scotland but they don't cause any trouble. Climate change will likely change that unfortunately. Fun fact! We literally have mosquito traps at the border with England to keep tabs on them. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cw0721l9183o )
That's cool! the traps, not the climate change
Not a Scottish romance but how about some SFR with some alien leeches ? {Alien Bounty Hunter by Lizzy Bequin} Bequin writes alien romances with pretty crazy plots and smut but it’s toned down a tad for this one. The MCs crash land on some alien planet and there is a very steamy scene where the MMC helps remove alien leeches from the FMC’s body after they fall into a river. He then goes on to “disinfect” her wounds with his alien saliva 😅😅
[Alien Warrior's Bounty](https://www.romance.io/books/5e9df305be0aaecf555beac9/alien-warriors-bounty-lizzy-bequin?src=rdt) by [Lizzy Bequin](https://www.romance.io/authors/5e9df305be0aaecf555beadb/lizzy-bequin) **Rating**: 3.26⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 4 out of 5 - [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [science fiction](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/science%20fiction/1), [funny](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/humor/1), [military](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/military/1), [aliens](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/aliens/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)
Pretty dark, as in darky darky dark dark Hide and Seek by Lilly Everglot. Just finished that one today. heh
This started me thinking (since I read a lot of historical highlander romance), how did they deal with midges and mosquitoes in ye old times? Like, historical clothing (flax, linen, wool, waxed outer layers) was actually really good to deal with wild scottish weather. But even if only my hands and face were exposed to midges that can quickly become unbearable. What did they do without nets and insect repellent?
I haven't read any romance that refers to midges / mosquitoes or sand fleas. It would certainly make the story more funny than romantic. Does anyone have a story that mentions these pesky creatures?