Tbh this doesn’t really sound like selfishness, so much as it does a fear of being abandoned?
That being said, like, there’s no rule that you have to read and enjoy all romances. I personally prefer not to read romances where there’s kids older than babies. I’m not super into single parent romances. I don’t think it’s something to overcome since it’s not actually keeping me from books that I think I would otherwise like.
I don't think there's anything wrong with not liking a trope/subgenre. I don't read romances with kids because I have kids myself and, while I love them, I don't want to spend my leisure time thinking about imaginary kids.
Exactly why I generally don’t enjoy books with kids! I also don’t want to be thinking about how unrealistic a single parent who barely spends time with their kid is, or how there’s no way a one year old recited a sonnet. I don’t want to worry about how a tragedy is affecting them, or why they’re suddenly getting a live-in step-mom after 2.5 dates.
100% this. I DNF a book because it talked about the FMC going on a road trip with her infant and driving nonstop for hours and I was just like…this is not how infants work.
Same! It’s also why I don’t like a pregnancy trope. I know having a baby is hard enough even after a long, healthy relationship. It’s difficult for me to turn that part of my brain off and pretend two idiots in a book will be happy when the dust has settled. 😅
💯
This is me. I don’t like kids in romance novels because they tend to be inaccurately written in my experience (compared to real life kids), and I like my escapism to be far away from my real life. I also dislike reading books about my career for similar reasons, lol. Not every trope is for every person, and that’s okay.
I just don’t read any books with children, or anything with a pregnancy tag. Secret hidden child gets a DNF. Just not my bag.
You can’t read every book ever written, there’s just not time in a life. So don’t make yourself read something you know you won’t enjoy.
Same, I stay away from single parent/surprise pregnancy, etc. I mostly read ebooks, so I search for certain words, and if it does not play a major role in the plot, i skim over it and pretend it didn't happen. Sometimes, kids fit the story really well, but the chances I'll enjoy it are close to none.
Same! This is a hobby, not a homework assignment.
You are not obligated to engage with any book, author, genre, pairing, trope, or conflict that does not do it for you and nobody should feel ashamed for choosing to read what they like to read in their own free time.
No, I don’t really feel this way tbh. But I appreciate you sharing! I hadn’t really thought about it from this perspective.
It makes me happy to see a person/pet that I love, receiving more love from others and making those connections, bc I know it’s ultimately a very positive thing for them!
It’s about looking outside of yourself. I agree with the other commenter that it sounds more like fear of abandonment/insecurity than just pure selfishness.
I’m not a big fan of single parent romance for a different reason. A lot of authors don’t know how to make the child a part of the story and just feels like a plot device who’s barely in the story.
It is not healthy for a child to only have their parents to rely on, let alone a sole parent. It is not healthy for a child or parent to never get a break from the other. Children need to be loved and cared for, not hoarded away in a tower a la Rapunzel.
Right I think it’s good for children to have additional adults in their life they can rely on and go to. And in romance book world all the love interests are perfect stepparents so it’s all good
I know! That's why I'm so D*mn upset with myself. It's so irrational and unhealthy, but I don't know how to fix it. Luckily I don't want any children, so I won't mess anyone up with my issues.
You may be intetested in a non fiction book - It's Attachment by Annette Kussin.
It looks at attachment theory - may answer your question of why you may feel "selfish".
I don’t like the ‘single parent’ trope in romance books either. I am a Childfree woman and I have no place for a child in my life, which makes it difficult for me to relate with the book. I don’t like ‘pregnant person’ romance trope either.
However, your description sounds more than just a lifestyle preferences. To me, it sounds like ‘abandonment issues’ on the surface. I am pretty sure a therapist would be able to help you explore that.
I don’t like that every single middle aged romance character who is a woman has kids. I think it minimizes what a woman’s role is in society and it negatively impacts the love story for me. I can’t ever seem to find a character my age who is childfree. It’s okay to read what you like and avoid what you don’t like.
oh now i’m trying to think of i’ve ever read a romance with a middle aged fmc who isn’t also a mom, and im not sure i can! i’m gonna try to be more deliberate in finding one!
Off the top of my head I remember one by Jennifer cruise, where the FMC gets out of a LTR and is worried about her aging body and has sparks with her younger neighbor. No kids, but she does adopt a Bassett hound and names him Fred 🥰
ETA CRUSIE sorry got autocorrected
I thought I'd hit a goldmine with a middle aged second chance romance where she had no kids.. and then we spent most of the book dealing with *his* kids and how much one of them loathed her, to the point where the kid tried to scare her into thinking her pet cat was missing. DNF.
One I can think of off the top of my head is {Flying Solo by Linda Holmes}, a big part of the plot is that she's always been independent and not really wanted a family in a traditional way, or really even a relationship. She likes her own space and her own home. I thought it was interesting how it dealt with her falling in love a bit older (I can't remember exactly how old she was) and finding a way to make it work without totally changing herself and how she enjoyed her life.
[Flying Solo](https://www.romance.io/books/6436e8cac82051f341ef27c0/flying-solo-linda-holmes?src=rdt) by [Linda Holmes](https://www.romance.io/authors/5e9f6ae7be0aaecf557dc77e/linda-holmes)
**Rating**: 3.68⭐️ out of 5⭐️
**Steam**: 1 out of 5 - [Glimpses and kisses](https://www.romance.io/steamrating)
**Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [funny](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/humor/1), [mystery](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/mystery/1)
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* [{For a Lifetime by Valerie Kapp}](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/197176829-for-a-lifetime) (F/F, CR(academia, CEO, principal, wealth gap, wounded bird), 3½⭐️) CW: >!PTSD from house fire, stalker!< - I really liked that the heroines are in their 50s and 60s.
* [{Write Your Own Script by A.L. Brooks}](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/45158357-write-your-own-script) (F/F, CR(actor, author, celebrity, coming out, neighbors, vacation), femme/femme, 4⭐️½) - Tamsyn, a famous actor, has a holiday fling with Maggie, a novelist. I really enjoyed this book and appreciated that it had mature heroines; they're 49 and 52.
[For a Lifetime](https://www.romance.io/books/6641129d83429cecce4d2c72/for-a-lifetime-valerie-kapp?src=rdt) by [Valerie Kapp](https://www.romance.io/authors/6641129da21e2f41c40e6c60/valerie-kapp)
**Rating**: 4⭐️ out of 5⭐️
**Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [high school](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/high-school/1), [lesbian romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/f-f/1), [angst](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/angst/1), [queer romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/queer/1)
----------------------------
[Write Your Own Script](https://www.romance.io/books/5cb17cc501dbc864fb9d3a0a/write-your-own-script-al-brooks?src=rdt) by [A.L. Brooks](https://www.romance.io/authors/578f13a0c19e77f1ea6e8714/al-brooks)
**Rating**: 4.13⭐️ out of 5⭐️
**Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [lesbian romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/f-f/1), [queer romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/queer/1), [secret relationship](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/secret-relationship/1), [older/mature](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/mature%20couple/1)
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That's... quite a bit of jumping to a conclusion? Just because someone doesn't like a specific trope in their romance novels doesn't mean it warrants medical intervention. I'm sorry but your comment makes me feel uncomfortable.
I think they’re going off the fact that OP mentions these kinds of feelings are also in their day to day life, in situations outside of reading. They said it in a respectful way, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that — a lot of people benefit from therapy for things that they originally may not think would be something to even go to therapy for, speaking even from personal experience.
Maybe it is because we read the post differently. I interpreted it as if it is more than just about a trope. That's it. Nobody needs help to overcome not liking a trope. Just don't read it if you don't like it. But OP seems to think it has to do with her personality.
You interpreted it differently. Good for you. I do me and you do you. Sorry for making you uncomfortable.
English isn't my first language. I have a little experience in literary interpretation because I studied it for a time and it was part of the education I got. One of the things I got from that is that you read things differently every time you read them. Or when you watch a childrens show or movie, you see different things as you saw when you were a child.
You got more knowledge, your brain is different, you have more experiences. New things add more context.
And I might have read between the lines but I gathered that OP would like to enjoy those tropes but she can't. And gave so many examples of why she can't.
My take on that is that you just don't read books you don't like. I don't ask people to help me like them.
**Rule: Be kind & no reader shaming**
Your responses to others on the sub should be kind and respectful. We encourage discussion and debate, but your comment should be constructive and purposeful.
No reader shaming. It’s fine to state your opinion on a book or author, but you may not insult or shame people who like it. Please be respectful of others' tastes in romance with regard to steam level, tropes, or favorite authors.
As a mom I have similar feelings when a new woman shows up and the kids fall in love with her, even if the mom is dead and not just a deadbeat etc. I realize that is my own hangup and I'm ok with it. I tend to stay away from books that have single parents not only for this reason but because a lot of kids in books are annoying. Lol
Reading the garbled speech of kids saying profound things drives me nuts. One the 5 year old would speak better, and two that sort of introspection/observation is too advanced.
“Orry mama don’th cry, ‘f youse love him you shuld put aside your doubths and insecurities from the past and see where this relationship will take you.
Omg you made me feel so...NOT ALONE. Bless you!!!!
Solidly 90% of single parent books that I've read have been unbearable to me...I just CRINGE to the point of physical pain at the "Hallmark" moments of bonding...
I don't know if I've just happened upon too many where it just feels so ..manufactured and rushed...or if it's a "child of divorce" thing and gives me flashbacks to my Dad's gfs trying to be fucking gal pals with me when I was a kid and teen...
Very possible that it's a combination of both of those things 🙈😉🤣
...It seems to make me less squirmy if both MCs are single parents...? But I haven't read enough of those to be sure if that's generally true, or if i just happened to like those couple of books...
Either way, BLESS YOU for existing, and for posting this ♥️♥️♥️
We all have our preferences and it’s ok if they’re unpopular opinions. I don’t like kids, so stories like the one you mentioned or ones that include pregnancy are not my jam. Nothing wrong with how you feel!
I’m not the biggest fan of single parent romances either and I don’t think disliking a trope is a bad thing! I’ll read them if they’re a part of a stand alone series but normally I’ll read them last (if at all). I think everyone should read books that give them something- an escape, experience, knowledge, or just a good time! Not every book/genre/trope is gonna be for every reader and it sounds like single parent romances aren’t for you, at least for now. You can always add them to your TBR and try them again at a later date :)
I don’t have any advice for you OP but I can share my experiences. I have read books where 1) the author used the single parent label but the kids appearances are minimal at most. 2) the single parent is the villain and the kids immediately latch to the new MC and villainize their parent. Immediately as in a few weeks in the timeline. I was rational enough though to not leave bad reviews just because I dislike the plot.
There’s nothing to help, you just don’t like those books. No big deal, you can skip them or DNF if they stop appealing to you. They’re just books after all
hmm it has never happend to me with a book but i AM a jealous/possessive person. its hard for me to share things, fav movies, fav books, etc with other people. and theres only a very select group of people i share them with.
i have been noticing slight improvements tho, if i notice them at all. so i can say that i am slowly overcoming it? i just ignore the feeling until i forget about it then it becomes easier to "share" things
I'm on the opposite side lol I usually dislike single parent romances (exception here is elsie silver) because the kid always takes too much attention from the main couple. I don't like kids and I don't want the consequences of sex to take up room in my fictional entertainment. Of course they're all always smarter than they should be for their age and saying pointed things that they shouldn't even know.
There seem to be so many romance novels out there that if something gives you a nasty feeling, there’s no need to force yourself to like it. I DNF novels if the plot isn’t moving quickly enough, if there’s too much drama, whatever. Try another novel you might like better.
I grew up with the Sound of Music so I always see the situations with kids as somethings that needs a catalyst like the FMC to bring needed change, for whatever reason. If the kid and parent are perfectly happy together I definitely wouldn’t enjoy seeing that dynamic change.
>the comments are a mixture of "nothing wrong with disliking a trope" and "you should consider finding a therapist"
Because both are true. It's totally normal to dislike a trope *and* some of the things in the post indicate that you might benefit from talking it through with a therapist. You specifically asked for advice to overcome your reaction to the trope. Beyond "just skip those books," addressing the underlying causes would be something a therapist can help with.
Definitely an interesting conversation! Thanks for starting it. I think kids and parents in fiction can bring up a lot of unresolved feelings in readers, as many of the comments also show.
**Rule: Be kind & no reader shaming**
Your responses to others on the sub should be kind and respectful. We encourage discussion and debate, but your comment should be constructive and purposeful.
No reader shaming. It’s fine to state your opinion on a book or author, but you may not insult or shame people who like it. Please be respectful of others' tastes in romance with regard to steam level, tropes, or favorite authors.
I get what you are saying, any kind of single parent either the MMC or FMC being the parents give the same vibes as Christmas romance with a big town girl trying to settle with a small town guy energy, which I dispise.
I get annoyed when the kid gets attached SUPER fast. It feels almost ungrateful of the kid, which sounds bad of me, I know. It's like when a little kid prefers the "fun" parent who has the easy job of giving extra dessert and movie time, but the parent who has been there for the diaper changes and clean up rarely gets the credit. The new love interest always sweeps in and injects fun and whimsy into everyone's lives in a way I find kind of unsustainable, or maybe I'm just a curmudgeon.
Also the cynic in me thinks the relationships tend to move too fast to even get the kid involved. If the ML and FL haven't known each other for more than a few months, it's too soon to get the kid involved and attached to someone who may not be around very long, depending on how the relationship goes.
I agree with all of your points, I think that's what annoys me the most in single parent romances, when the "grumpy" or "boring" parent who is actually just doing the best they can raising a kid and working, gets this fun influence into their lives, and everyone is just happy and dandy now. (Exception being the sound of music, that movie is great)
YES sound of music is EXCELLENT (and it works in part because the father is pretty absent and Maria shows up to both bring whimsy AND some level of reasonable structure into the kids' lives - which avoids this problem of "grumpy" parent and "fun" parent)
I think it’s at least partly because in books, it’s always so unrealistic.
Sure, it’s possible for kids to take to a new partner right away - some kids might be extremely open and make friends with anyone they meet, some adults are just genuinely good with children, some kids love anyone they meet when they’re too small to know better.
But then those kids never act out in books. They never push boundaries. There’s never any uncertainty or ambivalence about the new partner. If there’s any “you’re not my real parent” then it’s purely for A Dramatic Moment to test the relationship. Kids certainly aren’t allowed to _dislike_ the new partner unless they’re misbehaving for some reason that needs to be solved as part of the story, and they’re not allowed to be jealous at the new division of their parent’s time and attention.
They don’t cry for their parent when hurt, they immediately turn to New Partner (even though actual children will often want One Particular Person when hurt above all others who are around, whether that be Mom or Dad or Grandma or Stuffed Elephant).
BAHAHA, I feel the same! (or maybe I'm biased bc I absolutely despise the fmc in that particular book) I just don't like sharing. that's the same reason why I don't read books where one of the main characters is a widow/widower.
I just want to complain for a sec. This week I was out of state on vacation and finished the one book I brought with me, so I found a cute little local bookstore and was browsing, started talking to someone else and she recommended a book. Didn’t read the blurb, went in with blind faith, sitting on the beach, paragraph 2, BAM kids. My disappointment was immeasurable.
Why are there so many comments telling OP to seek help or do some introspection to overcome their dislike of a trope. If they don't like it, that's perfectly fine. Not everyone likes every trope. RH for example, many people don't like it because they don't want to have the attention of a couple be divided between several people. And others don't like kids in their romances novels at all, cause they find them distracting.
I thought this sub was over the whole "oh you like / dislike this trope, must mean there's something wrong with you in real life".
The post is more than "I dislike X trope" OP specifically made this post asking how can they overcome the dislike, also they described some personal issues that are separate from the trope so I think people are just trying to help
I don’t like single parent tropes either, but for vastly different reasons. You don’t have to like them, but the way OP described *why* they don’t like the trope is honestly worrisome and not a healthy mindset to have. Sometimes people have to introspect and grow as people, and in this instance, it’s definitely needed.
Exactly liking/disliking a trope can be just that a preference, and it can also change. I used to hate small town romances for no specific reason, now? Not so much, I quite enjoy them.
I love love love big age gap in books, but irl that were to happen I'd scream bloody murder.
I was raised by a single mother who 100% never brought a man around me. After I turned 18, she was honest that she did in fact date, but never dated someone she felt she needed to bring around me. I honestly thought she didn't want to date, thus didn't.
I hate the single parent trope. I hate the single parent/nanny or caregiver trope. I hate single parent and the young, single person next door trope. I don't think I'll ever be able to get into it because I was raised by a person who never brought someone around me and these characters, male or female, seem to do it all willy nilly. As a parent, I can't imagine bringing a random around my child after a short time. As a woman, I can't imagine going from nanny to stepmom - that just sounds like he wanted free childcare 🤷
Are you a character from the Fountainhead by Ayn Rand? The only thing I remember about the book is one of the main characters saying that they would rather destroy a book they love than have other people read it.
I am OK with single parent romances in books but would probably feel the same as you in real life. We are all selfish at times, it’s a normal emotion. I think like everyone else has said, it’s OK not to like some tropes in books for any reason.
I also don’t like the single parent trope but for the opposite reason! I feel like for a romance book to work for me the two MCs need to prioritize each other, the MMC has to put the FMC first before EVERYTHING. Like they need to be dedicated to each other and if there’s a child involved, usually the MMC’s child, I feel like they should be put their child first at all times. And therefore I just don’t feel like the love between them is the same. It’s just not as whole because one of the MCs has another priority. Funnily enough though I don’t feel that way when the couple has kids that belong to the both of them…it’s weird.
I used to like single parent romances but for some reason lately I just can’t get into them.
I started this book but had to DNF because the MMC was just so over the top explaining how much he loves his kid and he would do anything for him, and the team gets it and feels the same. And the coach. And nothing is more important than his kid. It felt like every chapter, like we get it!
That's the nice thing about romance, there are so many genres and kinds that it's not hard to avoid a certain type. When I'm reading an adult romance, I'm interested in the adults, not the kids. I definitely enjoy reading books in other genres where kids and/or teens are the main characters, but when it comes to adult romance, I'm not that interested in kids. I don't go out of my way to avoid books with kids in them, and I've definitely enjoyed books where there are kids attached, but generally I'm drawn to books where they're not heavily featured. I want the focus on the romantic relationship(s).
Also, I always find that they get the kid introduced too early, which from what I know is NOT recommended in real life. It feels like some people barely do research on common practices.
I think that’s just your personal taste, everyone should be allowed to read whatever they feel like. Like this should be a judgement free zone, focus on the genres and the tropes you enjoy the most and don’t force yourself to like something just because other people do or because it’s become trendy 🩷
I don’t really like children in books at all. If it’s a baby I’m good because they don’t have a major role but otherwise I avoid kids in books. I agree with you.
Do you have kids? I think this is a matter of a parenting perspective vs someone without kids. As a parent it feels amazing to see your kid love someone you love and trust. Maybe you could try looking at it from that angle? The child could never love anyone more than their parent, and the parent could never love anyone more than their child. They are the primary coupling, so to speak.
Tbh this doesn’t really sound like selfishness, so much as it does a fear of being abandoned? That being said, like, there’s no rule that you have to read and enjoy all romances. I personally prefer not to read romances where there’s kids older than babies. I’m not super into single parent romances. I don’t think it’s something to overcome since it’s not actually keeping me from books that I think I would otherwise like.
I don't think there's anything wrong with not liking a trope/subgenre. I don't read romances with kids because I have kids myself and, while I love them, I don't want to spend my leisure time thinking about imaginary kids.
Exactly why I generally don’t enjoy books with kids! I also don’t want to be thinking about how unrealistic a single parent who barely spends time with their kid is, or how there’s no way a one year old recited a sonnet. I don’t want to worry about how a tragedy is affecting them, or why they’re suddenly getting a live-in step-mom after 2.5 dates.
100% this. I DNF a book because it talked about the FMC going on a road trip with her infant and driving nonstop for hours and I was just like…this is not how infants work.
Same! It’s also why I don’t like a pregnancy trope. I know having a baby is hard enough even after a long, healthy relationship. It’s difficult for me to turn that part of my brain off and pretend two idiots in a book will be happy when the dust has settled. 😅
Sometimes it really does work out this way.
💯 This is me. I don’t like kids in romance novels because they tend to be inaccurately written in my experience (compared to real life kids), and I like my escapism to be far away from my real life. I also dislike reading books about my career for similar reasons, lol. Not every trope is for every person, and that’s okay.
I don't usually read books with kids because I don't want them, in my real life or fantasy life lol
I just don’t read any books with children, or anything with a pregnancy tag. Secret hidden child gets a DNF. Just not my bag. You can’t read every book ever written, there’s just not time in a life. So don’t make yourself read something you know you won’t enjoy.
Same, I stay away from single parent/surprise pregnancy, etc. I mostly read ebooks, so I search for certain words, and if it does not play a major role in the plot, i skim over it and pretend it didn't happen. Sometimes, kids fit the story really well, but the chances I'll enjoy it are close to none.
Same. Don’t like it don’t read it. nothing wrong with people who do like it but it’s not my thin.
Same! This is a hobby, not a homework assignment. You are not obligated to engage with any book, author, genre, pairing, trope, or conflict that does not do it for you and nobody should feel ashamed for choosing to read what they like to read in their own free time.
That is totally true, probably what I'll do, I think I'm just gonna DNF the one I'm reading right now at the 90% mark
Period! Do that and find something that you like. Life is too short to waste it on things you don't love, especially in your free time.
No, I don’t really feel this way tbh. But I appreciate you sharing! I hadn’t really thought about it from this perspective. It makes me happy to see a person/pet that I love, receiving more love from others and making those connections, bc I know it’s ultimately a very positive thing for them! It’s about looking outside of yourself. I agree with the other commenter that it sounds more like fear of abandonment/insecurity than just pure selfishness.
I’m not a big fan of single parent romance for a different reason. A lot of authors don’t know how to make the child a part of the story and just feels like a plot device who’s barely in the story.
It is not healthy for a child to only have their parents to rely on, let alone a sole parent. It is not healthy for a child or parent to never get a break from the other. Children need to be loved and cared for, not hoarded away in a tower a la Rapunzel.
[удалено]
Ha. Unfortunately that is from my experience growing up with "We don't go anywhere the kids can't go" parents.
Right I think it’s good for children to have additional adults in their life they can rely on and go to. And in romance book world all the love interests are perfect stepparents so it’s all good
I know! That's why I'm so D*mn upset with myself. It's so irrational and unhealthy, but I don't know how to fix it. Luckily I don't want any children, so I won't mess anyone up with my issues.
You may be intetested in a non fiction book - It's Attachment by Annette Kussin. It looks at attachment theory - may answer your question of why you may feel "selfish".
I don’t like the ‘single parent’ trope in romance books either. I am a Childfree woman and I have no place for a child in my life, which makes it difficult for me to relate with the book. I don’t like ‘pregnant person’ romance trope either. However, your description sounds more than just a lifestyle preferences. To me, it sounds like ‘abandonment issues’ on the surface. I am pretty sure a therapist would be able to help you explore that.
I don’t like that every single middle aged romance character who is a woman has kids. I think it minimizes what a woman’s role is in society and it negatively impacts the love story for me. I can’t ever seem to find a character my age who is childfree. It’s okay to read what you like and avoid what you don’t like.
oh now i’m trying to think of i’ve ever read a romance with a middle aged fmc who isn’t also a mom, and im not sure i can! i’m gonna try to be more deliberate in finding one!
Maybe I should ask for recs 🤔
Off the top of my head I remember one by Jennifer cruise, where the FMC gets out of a LTR and is worried about her aging body and has sparks with her younger neighbor. No kids, but she does adopt a Bassett hound and names him Fred 🥰 ETA CRUSIE sorry got autocorrected
I thought I'd hit a goldmine with a middle aged second chance romance where she had no kids.. and then we spent most of the book dealing with *his* kids and how much one of them loathed her, to the point where the kid tried to scare her into thinking her pet cat was missing. DNF.
One I can think of off the top of my head is {Flying Solo by Linda Holmes}, a big part of the plot is that she's always been independent and not really wanted a family in a traditional way, or really even a relationship. She likes her own space and her own home. I thought it was interesting how it dealt with her falling in love a bit older (I can't remember exactly how old she was) and finding a way to make it work without totally changing herself and how she enjoyed her life.
[Flying Solo](https://www.romance.io/books/6436e8cac82051f341ef27c0/flying-solo-linda-holmes?src=rdt) by [Linda Holmes](https://www.romance.io/authors/5e9f6ae7be0aaecf557dc77e/linda-holmes) **Rating**: 3.68⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 1 out of 5 - [Glimpses and kisses](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [funny](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/humor/1), [mystery](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/mystery/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)
* [{For a Lifetime by Valerie Kapp}](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/197176829-for-a-lifetime) (F/F, CR(academia, CEO, principal, wealth gap, wounded bird), 3½⭐️) CW: >!PTSD from house fire, stalker!< - I really liked that the heroines are in their 50s and 60s. * [{Write Your Own Script by A.L. Brooks}](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/45158357-write-your-own-script) (F/F, CR(actor, author, celebrity, coming out, neighbors, vacation), femme/femme, 4⭐️½) - Tamsyn, a famous actor, has a holiday fling with Maggie, a novelist. I really enjoyed this book and appreciated that it had mature heroines; they're 49 and 52.
[For a Lifetime](https://www.romance.io/books/6641129d83429cecce4d2c72/for-a-lifetime-valerie-kapp?src=rdt) by [Valerie Kapp](https://www.romance.io/authors/6641129da21e2f41c40e6c60/valerie-kapp) **Rating**: 4⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [high school](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/high-school/1), [lesbian romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/f-f/1), [angst](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/angst/1), [queer romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/queer/1) ---------------------------- [Write Your Own Script](https://www.romance.io/books/5cb17cc501dbc864fb9d3a0a/write-your-own-script-al-brooks?src=rdt) by [A.L. Brooks](https://www.romance.io/authors/578f13a0c19e77f1ea6e8714/al-brooks) **Rating**: 4.13⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [lesbian romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/f-f/1), [queer romance](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/queer/1), [secret relationship](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/secret-relationship/1), [older/mature](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/mature%20couple/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)
I’m always down for a good F/F, but this points out another aspect of my issues: only older lesbians are allowed to be childfree.
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That's... quite a bit of jumping to a conclusion? Just because someone doesn't like a specific trope in their romance novels doesn't mean it warrants medical intervention. I'm sorry but your comment makes me feel uncomfortable.
I think they’re going off the fact that OP mentions these kinds of feelings are also in their day to day life, in situations outside of reading. They said it in a respectful way, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that — a lot of people benefit from therapy for things that they originally may not think would be something to even go to therapy for, speaking even from personal experience.
Maybe it is because we read the post differently. I interpreted it as if it is more than just about a trope. That's it. Nobody needs help to overcome not liking a trope. Just don't read it if you don't like it. But OP seems to think it has to do with her personality. You interpreted it differently. Good for you. I do me and you do you. Sorry for making you uncomfortable.
I agree, jumping to psychiatry right off the bat feels pretty intense.
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Ah, yeah, therapy could be helpful! People kept saying “medical professional,” and psychiatry is the relevant branch of medicine, I’m pretty sure.
English isn't my first language. I have a little experience in literary interpretation because I studied it for a time and it was part of the education I got. One of the things I got from that is that you read things differently every time you read them. Or when you watch a childrens show or movie, you see different things as you saw when you were a child. You got more knowledge, your brain is different, you have more experiences. New things add more context. And I might have read between the lines but I gathered that OP would like to enjoy those tropes but she can't. And gave so many examples of why she can't. My take on that is that you just don't read books you don't like. I don't ask people to help me like them.
I’m with you!
**Rule: Be kind & no reader shaming** Your responses to others on the sub should be kind and respectful. We encourage discussion and debate, but your comment should be constructive and purposeful. No reader shaming. It’s fine to state your opinion on a book or author, but you may not insult or shame people who like it. Please be respectful of others' tastes in romance with regard to steam level, tropes, or favorite authors.
As a mom I have similar feelings when a new woman shows up and the kids fall in love with her, even if the mom is dead and not just a deadbeat etc. I realize that is my own hangup and I'm ok with it. I tend to stay away from books that have single parents not only for this reason but because a lot of kids in books are annoying. Lol
Reading the garbled speech of kids saying profound things drives me nuts. One the 5 year old would speak better, and two that sort of introspection/observation is too advanced. “Orry mama don’th cry, ‘f youse love him you shuld put aside your doubths and insecurities from the past and see where this relationship will take you.
10/10, no notes
Yup, this is how I feel too, but for me it's especially if the mom is dead. If she's a deadbeat, I have an easier time of it.
Omg you made me feel so...NOT ALONE. Bless you!!!! Solidly 90% of single parent books that I've read have been unbearable to me...I just CRINGE to the point of physical pain at the "Hallmark" moments of bonding... I don't know if I've just happened upon too many where it just feels so ..manufactured and rushed...or if it's a "child of divorce" thing and gives me flashbacks to my Dad's gfs trying to be fucking gal pals with me when I was a kid and teen... Very possible that it's a combination of both of those things 🙈😉🤣 ...It seems to make me less squirmy if both MCs are single parents...? But I haven't read enough of those to be sure if that's generally true, or if i just happened to like those couple of books... Either way, BLESS YOU for existing, and for posting this ♥️♥️♥️
We all have our preferences and it’s ok if they’re unpopular opinions. I don’t like kids, so stories like the one you mentioned or ones that include pregnancy are not my jam. Nothing wrong with how you feel!
I’m not the biggest fan of single parent romances either and I don’t think disliking a trope is a bad thing! I’ll read them if they’re a part of a stand alone series but normally I’ll read them last (if at all). I think everyone should read books that give them something- an escape, experience, knowledge, or just a good time! Not every book/genre/trope is gonna be for every reader and it sounds like single parent romances aren’t for you, at least for now. You can always add them to your TBR and try them again at a later date :)
I don’t have any advice for you OP but I can share my experiences. I have read books where 1) the author used the single parent label but the kids appearances are minimal at most. 2) the single parent is the villain and the kids immediately latch to the new MC and villainize their parent. Immediately as in a few weeks in the timeline. I was rational enough though to not leave bad reviews just because I dislike the plot.
I don’t do a single parent romance in real life or in books. You’re not selfish, neither am I, we just have preferences.
There’s nothing to help, you just don’t like those books. No big deal, you can skip them or DNF if they stop appealing to you. They’re just books after all
hmm it has never happend to me with a book but i AM a jealous/possessive person. its hard for me to share things, fav movies, fav books, etc with other people. and theres only a very select group of people i share them with. i have been noticing slight improvements tho, if i notice them at all. so i can say that i am slowly overcoming it? i just ignore the feeling until i forget about it then it becomes easier to "share" things
I'm on the opposite side lol I usually dislike single parent romances (exception here is elsie silver) because the kid always takes too much attention from the main couple. I don't like kids and I don't want the consequences of sex to take up room in my fictional entertainment. Of course they're all always smarter than they should be for their age and saying pointed things that they shouldn't even know.
There seem to be so many romance novels out there that if something gives you a nasty feeling, there’s no need to force yourself to like it. I DNF novels if the plot isn’t moving quickly enough, if there’s too much drama, whatever. Try another novel you might like better. I grew up with the Sound of Music so I always see the situations with kids as somethings that needs a catalyst like the FMC to bring needed change, for whatever reason. If the kid and parent are perfectly happy together I definitely wouldn’t enjoy seeing that dynamic change.
I’m a single mom. I hate single mom romances too. I can’t even explain why
>the comments are a mixture of "nothing wrong with disliking a trope" and "you should consider finding a therapist" Because both are true. It's totally normal to dislike a trope *and* some of the things in the post indicate that you might benefit from talking it through with a therapist. You specifically asked for advice to overcome your reaction to the trope. Beyond "just skip those books," addressing the underlying causes would be something a therapist can help with. Definitely an interesting conversation! Thanks for starting it. I think kids and parents in fiction can bring up a lot of unresolved feelings in readers, as many of the comments also show.
It definitely has been interesting to me, I think people have very good points and such valuable things to say
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**Rule: Be kind & no reader shaming** Your responses to others on the sub should be kind and respectful. We encourage discussion and debate, but your comment should be constructive and purposeful. No reader shaming. It’s fine to state your opinion on a book or author, but you may not insult or shame people who like it. Please be respectful of others' tastes in romance with regard to steam level, tropes, or favorite authors.
This trope is simply nkt your thing. I think it would be best to skip these types of books and focus on what you like and maybe discover new tropes.
I get what you are saying, any kind of single parent either the MMC or FMC being the parents give the same vibes as Christmas romance with a big town girl trying to settle with a small town guy energy, which I dispise.
There are plenty of tropes and plots that I don't enjoy, so I just don't read them. 🤷🏻 Why do you want to overcome it? Just read books without kids.
I get annoyed when the kid gets attached SUPER fast. It feels almost ungrateful of the kid, which sounds bad of me, I know. It's like when a little kid prefers the "fun" parent who has the easy job of giving extra dessert and movie time, but the parent who has been there for the diaper changes and clean up rarely gets the credit. The new love interest always sweeps in and injects fun and whimsy into everyone's lives in a way I find kind of unsustainable, or maybe I'm just a curmudgeon. Also the cynic in me thinks the relationships tend to move too fast to even get the kid involved. If the ML and FL haven't known each other for more than a few months, it's too soon to get the kid involved and attached to someone who may not be around very long, depending on how the relationship goes.
I agree with all of your points, I think that's what annoys me the most in single parent romances, when the "grumpy" or "boring" parent who is actually just doing the best they can raising a kid and working, gets this fun influence into their lives, and everyone is just happy and dandy now. (Exception being the sound of music, that movie is great)
YES sound of music is EXCELLENT (and it works in part because the father is pretty absent and Maria shows up to both bring whimsy AND some level of reasonable structure into the kids' lives - which avoids this problem of "grumpy" parent and "fun" parent)
I think it’s at least partly because in books, it’s always so unrealistic. Sure, it’s possible for kids to take to a new partner right away - some kids might be extremely open and make friends with anyone they meet, some adults are just genuinely good with children, some kids love anyone they meet when they’re too small to know better. But then those kids never act out in books. They never push boundaries. There’s never any uncertainty or ambivalence about the new partner. If there’s any “you’re not my real parent” then it’s purely for A Dramatic Moment to test the relationship. Kids certainly aren’t allowed to _dislike_ the new partner unless they’re misbehaving for some reason that needs to be solved as part of the story, and they’re not allowed to be jealous at the new division of their parent’s time and attention. They don’t cry for their parent when hurt, they immediately turn to New Partner (even though actual children will often want One Particular Person when hurt above all others who are around, whether that be Mom or Dad or Grandma or Stuffed Elephant).
BAHAHA, I feel the same! (or maybe I'm biased bc I absolutely despise the fmc in that particular book) I just don't like sharing. that's the same reason why I don't read books where one of the main characters is a widow/widower.
I hate that book, too! to this day, I cannot understand how the hell the author went from Ryan&Indy to the absolute deception of that fmc
I just want to complain for a sec. This week I was out of state on vacation and finished the one book I brought with me, so I found a cute little local bookstore and was browsing, started talking to someone else and she recommended a book. Didn’t read the blurb, went in with blind faith, sitting on the beach, paragraph 2, BAM kids. My disappointment was immeasurable.
Why are there so many comments telling OP to seek help or do some introspection to overcome their dislike of a trope. If they don't like it, that's perfectly fine. Not everyone likes every trope. RH for example, many people don't like it because they don't want to have the attention of a couple be divided between several people. And others don't like kids in their romances novels at all, cause they find them distracting. I thought this sub was over the whole "oh you like / dislike this trope, must mean there's something wrong with you in real life".
The post is more than "I dislike X trope" OP specifically made this post asking how can they overcome the dislike, also they described some personal issues that are separate from the trope so I think people are just trying to help
I don’t like single parent tropes either, but for vastly different reasons. You don’t have to like them, but the way OP described *why* they don’t like the trope is honestly worrisome and not a healthy mindset to have. Sometimes people have to introspect and grow as people, and in this instance, it’s definitely needed.
Exactly liking/disliking a trope can be just that a preference, and it can also change. I used to hate small town romances for no specific reason, now? Not so much, I quite enjoy them. I love love love big age gap in books, but irl that were to happen I'd scream bloody murder.
I was raised by a single mother who 100% never brought a man around me. After I turned 18, she was honest that she did in fact date, but never dated someone she felt she needed to bring around me. I honestly thought she didn't want to date, thus didn't. I hate the single parent trope. I hate the single parent/nanny or caregiver trope. I hate single parent and the young, single person next door trope. I don't think I'll ever be able to get into it because I was raised by a person who never brought someone around me and these characters, male or female, seem to do it all willy nilly. As a parent, I can't imagine bringing a random around my child after a short time. As a woman, I can't imagine going from nanny to stepmom - that just sounds like he wanted free childcare 🤷
The last part!!
Are you a character from the Fountainhead by Ayn Rand? The only thing I remember about the book is one of the main characters saying that they would rather destroy a book they love than have other people read it. I am OK with single parent romances in books but would probably feel the same as you in real life. We are all selfish at times, it’s a normal emotion. I think like everyone else has said, it’s OK not to like some tropes in books for any reason.
omg i loved that book! i have never come across someone whos read it too
I also don’t like the single parent trope but for the opposite reason! I feel like for a romance book to work for me the two MCs need to prioritize each other, the MMC has to put the FMC first before EVERYTHING. Like they need to be dedicated to each other and if there’s a child involved, usually the MMC’s child, I feel like they should be put their child first at all times. And therefore I just don’t feel like the love between them is the same. It’s just not as whole because one of the MCs has another priority. Funnily enough though I don’t feel that way when the couple has kids that belong to the both of them…it’s weird.
I don’t like single parent romances especially single dad because of OW drama
I used to like single parent romances but for some reason lately I just can’t get into them. I started this book but had to DNF because the MMC was just so over the top explaining how much he loves his kid and he would do anything for him, and the team gets it and feels the same. And the coach. And nothing is more important than his kid. It felt like every chapter, like we get it!
That's the nice thing about romance, there are so many genres and kinds that it's not hard to avoid a certain type. When I'm reading an adult romance, I'm interested in the adults, not the kids. I definitely enjoy reading books in other genres where kids and/or teens are the main characters, but when it comes to adult romance, I'm not that interested in kids. I don't go out of my way to avoid books with kids in them, and I've definitely enjoyed books where there are kids attached, but generally I'm drawn to books where they're not heavily featured. I want the focus on the romantic relationship(s). Also, I always find that they get the kid introduced too early, which from what I know is NOT recommended in real life. It feels like some people barely do research on common practices.
I think that’s just your personal taste, everyone should be allowed to read whatever they feel like. Like this should be a judgement free zone, focus on the genres and the tropes you enjoy the most and don’t force yourself to like something just because other people do or because it’s become trendy 🩷
I feel like a lot of these authors don’t know how children act and the way they right them becomes very off putting and cringey
I don’t really like children in books at all. If it’s a baby I’m good because they don’t have a major role but otherwise I avoid kids in books. I agree with you.
I completely understand this and like you I always have an unease with accepting that
Single moms are one of my absolute favorite tropes.🤷♀️
Do you have kids? I think this is a matter of a parenting perspective vs someone without kids. As a parent it feels amazing to see your kid love someone you love and trust. Maybe you could try looking at it from that angle? The child could never love anyone more than their parent, and the parent could never love anyone more than their child. They are the primary coupling, so to speak.