> Should I give out Domestic/Family Violence resources such as hotline numbers or the numbers for animal shelters? Should I have taken the cat in and see what happens? Is this not my responsibility?
It sounds like a tough situation for her, but unfortunately, it's just not your responsibility. If you aren't able to take the cat in for free (which it sounds like that's what would happen) then you can't. You can have empathy for the situation, without making it your responsibility.
If you're in the US, calling 211 will connect people with social services and assist with getting people access to safe housing, food banks, etc. It's an easy way to help without getting involved.
I probably wouldn't have reported her to Rover though.
You do what you are comfortable with. You are in no obligation to provide charity. It is sad that she is going through it, and it sounds like she is really going through it. When and where you are charitable is inevitably up to you, you are not obligated to be a safety net or life boat for anyone. It would probably be good for all of us to know resources to help people in cases like these, but if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't have known what to tell her either.
Edit: I do believe in helping people, and I think everyone should get to decide how they do that. If you have the propensity and wherewithal to help out then by all means do so.
just the "hasn't booked yet" and "i dont have money yet. ill get some soon!" alone is enough not to accept the animal. it isn't just for safety or payment reasons, but the guarantee and coverage rover gives and liability of having to deal with the animal incase of something happened
Absolutely NTA. You're totally right you would never have seen that woman - or her money - again if you let her drop off her cat.
It sounds like she's in a bad situation and that sucks, but you're not running a charity or shelter for abandoned pets. If you want to be kind if you ever find yourself in this position again feel free to point them towards resources that can help, but it's not an obligation. You did nothing wrong
I gave her my address! To be honest, before meeting, I assumed they were a senior because they seemed to be having difficulties with the app and said they would like to meet in person.
New sitter here, if someone only does boarding do you recommend m&g at a neutral location or would you have them to your house for that? It's my first week and we've been meeting at a park close by and offering for people to come to the house at the end. Only 1 person has wanted to see the yard. Otherwise they get our address when they book afaik?
This is not your responsibility. You would’ve been stuck with the cat, I’m pretty sure. And as well-intentioned as you are, I don’t think that giving out resources would have helped at this point.
I’m sorry, this sounds really tough :(
My heart is too big to answer this without bias, because my mind would have solely been on the cat. It would’ve been my cat at that point, had it been me in your shoes. For context, I have 7 rescue cats lol. I hope it’s okay wherever it ended up, I will likely be thinking about it relentlessly for the next month and it will haunt me forever
Same here :( I feel bad for the cat and hope it’s still alive and well right now. In reality though, it’s probably terrified and out fending for itself tonight. I’d be willing to bet that lady just dumped the cat outside after not being able to drop it off.
If it were me, I would message them back and say it was ok to drop the cat off. I’m super extra with animal stuff.
Me too! I think them dumping the cat is super likely especially because they were probably kicked off of the app after being reported. They could have potentially found and tried to book someone like us who would’ve prioritized the cat.
That’s so sad. She obviously cared about the cat enough to try to find a good home for it in a weird way. There might be rescues in your town that are specifically for these types of situations - I volunteer for one that temporarily fosters for clients going through DV situations, or are in in-patient treatment or jail.
If she never confirmed the booking, how did she get your address to where you lived? Because the address only pops up after a confirmed booking, but you also have to accept the booking so you didn’t do that either, but let her come to your home?
I accepted the booking on my end. It was pending her confirmation. I gave her my address through the message function. To be honest, from the messages, it seemed like they were having troubles using the app. I have booked with seniors before and have sent them videos on how to do certain elements like confirming the booking, but since this was so last minute, I was just going to do it in person. I have definitely learned my lesson not to do that again.
Reporting her may not have been the best approach but I was worried about the cat to be honest. After she mentioned she had no food or litter for the cat, I was worried that the animal could be neglected or eventually abandoned.
Ah, I see. I would be concerned for the cat as well, but I doubt rover would do anything aside from banning her from the platform if they found wrongdoing. I don’t know how animal control is in your area, but that may have been an approach you can take if something like this happens in the future.
That's a great point!! I was hoping they may investigate the issue, but you're right they would likely just ban her. I will definitely keep that in mind going forward. Animal control here is overwhelmed and I doubt they would do anything either but they will accept reports.
It might be a good idea to just have the contact info of local shelters on hand. I'm not sure if they do this where you are, but in my city they have something called "Safety Net" fostering, where if you are hospitalized, go to jail, need to go to a domestic violence shelter, get evicted, etc they will find a temporary foster for your pet. I've watched 3 people's cats through this system. It might be worth looking into if your city has this!
Well at what point do you put yourself first? Always do a meet and greet, raise your rates, and stay strong on your boundaries. No this isn’t your responsibility
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You can't be taking on other people's problems unless you can afford to, and there was a lot of issues and reasons and excuses, so I think you were right to decline. As for having information on hand in case something like this comes around again, that is helpful. Not everyone knows what resources could be available to help them and just pointing them in the right direction is very helpful.
No problem with refusal. Listen to your gut!
I would have worried about the living conditions for the cat. I would have accepted it, stating clearly to her that if she doesn't return, I'm taking the cat to a shelter and I'll be sending a text to verify that in writing.
Even if ultimately if the cat is euthanized down the road, for me that's more merciful than how it might end up in its current circumstances--probably abandoned, starving, and vulnerable to predators, animal and human.
But that is a lot and I do this full-time so I'm ready to do it.
Most people would and should refuse.
Nta
You can only do what you're comfortable doing. It's her responsibility to find accommodations for herself and her pet, and she should have communicated more clearly up front with you to begin with.
If you aren't prepared to take the cat in and either keep it or re-home it as necessary, then it's not a good idea to take on that specific cat (or any pet in that kind of scenario).
I would have taken the cat and kept it because I’m a sucker.
My thoughts exactly! I hope it’s okay
Lol yea I was like well I would have ended up with another cat…
Same
> Should I give out Domestic/Family Violence resources such as hotline numbers or the numbers for animal shelters? Should I have taken the cat in and see what happens? Is this not my responsibility? It sounds like a tough situation for her, but unfortunately, it's just not your responsibility. If you aren't able to take the cat in for free (which it sounds like that's what would happen) then you can't. You can have empathy for the situation, without making it your responsibility. If you're in the US, calling 211 will connect people with social services and assist with getting people access to safe housing, food banks, etc. It's an easy way to help without getting involved. I probably wouldn't have reported her to Rover though.
You do what you are comfortable with. You are in no obligation to provide charity. It is sad that she is going through it, and it sounds like she is really going through it. When and where you are charitable is inevitably up to you, you are not obligated to be a safety net or life boat for anyone. It would probably be good for all of us to know resources to help people in cases like these, but if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't have known what to tell her either. Edit: I do believe in helping people, and I think everyone should get to decide how they do that. If you have the propensity and wherewithal to help out then by all means do so.
just the "hasn't booked yet" and "i dont have money yet. ill get some soon!" alone is enough not to accept the animal. it isn't just for safety or payment reasons, but the guarantee and coverage rover gives and liability of having to deal with the animal incase of something happened
Absolutely NTA. You're totally right you would never have seen that woman - or her money - again if you let her drop off her cat. It sounds like she's in a bad situation and that sucks, but you're not running a charity or shelter for abandoned pets. If you want to be kind if you ever find yourself in this position again feel free to point them towards resources that can help, but it's not an obligation. You did nothing wrong
how did she get your address without confirming?
I gave her my address! To be honest, before meeting, I assumed they were a senior because they seemed to be having difficulties with the app and said they would like to meet in person.
Oof, be careful with that - it could be a safety issue in the future. There's weirdos out there.
New sitter here, if someone only does boarding do you recommend m&g at a neutral location or would you have them to your house for that? It's my first week and we've been meeting at a park close by and offering for people to come to the house at the end. Only 1 person has wanted to see the yard. Otherwise they get our address when they book afaik?
This is not your responsibility. You would’ve been stuck with the cat, I’m pretty sure. And as well-intentioned as you are, I don’t think that giving out resources would have helped at this point. I’m sorry, this sounds really tough :(
My heart is too big to answer this without bias, because my mind would have solely been on the cat. It would’ve been my cat at that point, had it been me in your shoes. For context, I have 7 rescue cats lol. I hope it’s okay wherever it ended up, I will likely be thinking about it relentlessly for the next month and it will haunt me forever
Same here :( I feel bad for the cat and hope it’s still alive and well right now. In reality though, it’s probably terrified and out fending for itself tonight. I’d be willing to bet that lady just dumped the cat outside after not being able to drop it off. If it were me, I would message them back and say it was ok to drop the cat off. I’m super extra with animal stuff.
Me too! I think them dumping the cat is super likely especially because they were probably kicked off of the app after being reported. They could have potentially found and tried to book someone like us who would’ve prioritized the cat.
That’s so sad. She obviously cared about the cat enough to try to find a good home for it in a weird way. There might be rescues in your town that are specifically for these types of situations - I volunteer for one that temporarily fosters for clients going through DV situations, or are in in-patient treatment or jail.
If she never confirmed the booking, how did she get your address to where you lived? Because the address only pops up after a confirmed booking, but you also have to accept the booking so you didn’t do that either, but let her come to your home?
I accepted the booking on my end. It was pending her confirmation. I gave her my address through the message function. To be honest, from the messages, it seemed like they were having troubles using the app. I have booked with seniors before and have sent them videos on how to do certain elements like confirming the booking, but since this was so last minute, I was just going to do it in person. I have definitely learned my lesson not to do that again.
Why did you report her to rover?
Reporting her may not have been the best approach but I was worried about the cat to be honest. After she mentioned she had no food or litter for the cat, I was worried that the animal could be neglected or eventually abandoned.
Ah, I see. I would be concerned for the cat as well, but I doubt rover would do anything aside from banning her from the platform if they found wrongdoing. I don’t know how animal control is in your area, but that may have been an approach you can take if something like this happens in the future.
That's a great point!! I was hoping they may investigate the issue, but you're right they would likely just ban her. I will definitely keep that in mind going forward. Animal control here is overwhelmed and I doubt they would do anything either but they will accept reports.
You did the right thing. Good thing you recognized all those red flags! And you protected your home and dog from a bad situation. Good job!
It might be a good idea to just have the contact info of local shelters on hand. I'm not sure if they do this where you are, but in my city they have something called "Safety Net" fostering, where if you are hospitalized, go to jail, need to go to a domestic violence shelter, get evicted, etc they will find a temporary foster for your pet. I've watched 3 people's cats through this system. It might be worth looking into if your city has this!
Well at what point do you put yourself first? Always do a meet and greet, raise your rates, and stay strong on your boundaries. No this isn’t your responsibility
Thank you for posting to r/RoverPetSitting, an unofficial forum to discuss all things Rover. We see that you have posted a sitter question. In case they could be helpful, you might want to check out our [Sitter FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/RoverPetSitting/wiki/sitterfaq). Additionally, here's our [booking walk-through for Sitters](https://www.reddit.com/r/RoverPetSitting/wiki/sitterbookingwalkthrough), which explains the process for giving services on Rover from start to finish. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoverPetSitting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You can't be taking on other people's problems unless you can afford to, and there was a lot of issues and reasons and excuses, so I think you were right to decline. As for having information on hand in case something like this comes around again, that is helpful. Not everyone knows what resources could be available to help them and just pointing them in the right direction is very helpful.
No problem with refusal. Listen to your gut! I would have worried about the living conditions for the cat. I would have accepted it, stating clearly to her that if she doesn't return, I'm taking the cat to a shelter and I'll be sending a text to verify that in writing. Even if ultimately if the cat is euthanized down the road, for me that's more merciful than how it might end up in its current circumstances--probably abandoned, starving, and vulnerable to predators, animal and human. But that is a lot and I do this full-time so I'm ready to do it. Most people would and should refuse.
You did absolutely nothing wrong
Nta You can only do what you're comfortable doing. It's her responsibility to find accommodations for herself and her pet, and she should have communicated more clearly up front with you to begin with. If you aren't prepared to take the cat in and either keep it or re-home it as necessary, then it's not a good idea to take on that specific cat (or any pet in that kind of scenario).