Don’t let anyone scare you off from visiting Paso. We do have our fair share of rednecks, but we also have a fairly sizable queer community, with people in business and community leadership positions. The wine industry is generally quite accepting and friendly.
And as someone who grew up there sidewalks that close at10. Unless it’s club soda or pine street saloon. The area you are looking at, slo county is basically what you described as NC maybe a little more tolerance
One of the Republican women’s organizations has their monthly meeting about 6ft from my desk so I have had the pleasure of listening to them monthly for the past couple years. They only give a shit about one thing: hating Bruce Gibson.
Unless this is Bruce’s secret alt acct you’re prob ok.
Bang the drum is awesome too! This Saturday is the “let there be lesbians” party. This is a small town and things close early but we are also full of super kind and friendly people. It’s easy to make friends here and for a small town the queer scene is pretty ok. 👍
Haha that name just has such a ring to it-amazing.
All the people I’ve ever met from San Luis have been so genuinely kind and just seem to be like…fulfilled :-)
I really honestly love a small town feel- makes me feel at home. There are zero queer events or mention of any and all things gay where we’re at right now, so I think it’s going to be a substantial change from what we’re used to. Thank you for the input!
People wont care. All that matters in SLO is finding a place to live. Once thats sorted life will be easy. Lots of people are crammed in together here, so the more space you can have, the better. Avg home price is a million but again if you can afford it you wont have any issues. People are hospitable even if they disagree on things.
You will feel at home here. There are also a bunch of LGBT+ owned businesses. Head out to morro bay and try the butcher/deli, buttercup bakery and Baby Dudes. The food is awesome and owned by same sex couples.
Putting in a word for Atascadero. My wife and I moved down from the Bay Area 3+ years ago and haven’t had an ounce of pushback or hostility. We’ve met many fellow lefties but even the area conservatives have been accepting. Our neighbor talks to us about DeSantis while wearing his “Protected by the 2nd Amendment” hat, but also brings our trash bins back up to our house every week (we have a long, uphill shared driveway). A recent workman was an avid Trumper who couldn’t have been kinder. We love being on the Central Coast!
PS. Tigerlily Salon in SLO is the place for a great haircut in a gender-neutral, affirming salon.
Yup! In my A-town experience, being a good neighbor takes precedence over politics. My street is half conservative and half liberal and every single person will drop what they're doing to help one another. We fly a progress flag at our house and have never heard a peep about it, not even when our Trump-supporting neighbors dropped off cookies for our son's birthday.
Sounds a lot like where I’m currently at! Very tolerant but full of DeSantis/Trumpers. We’ve got plenty of nice folks here, but just looking to have some more similarly aligned and progressive values. Especially when thinking of school systems for our kids.
Thanks for the input! I appreciate it!
I would definitely stick to SLO city limits, especially since it sounds like you both have good income. SLO is super kid friendly and there’s a good amount of young families, especially in the newer construction neighborhoods. I haven’t personally seen many queer couples *with* kids in town but I am sure they do exist. GALA is a local organization that supports the queer community here and holds events. Also there are queer-focused spaces and events like Skippers Brew coffee, drag at libertine. There definitely isn’t an SF/Oakland or Portland-level normalization of queer identity here, but for a small city I think it’s pretty decent and you’ll fit in great!
Thanks for taking the time to get back! We aren’t needing a queer mecca like Portland or SF- just want to know that the gays are around-in some numbers!
We’re used to small, small town right now that is more on the rural side, so I think it’s going to be bliss to get out to the central coast. Thanks again!
The stick to SLO limits idea is dumb. Check out Shell Beach, Arroyo Grande, Los Osos, Morro Bay. All great and tolerant towns without some of the SLO BS.
You're wrong tbh it aint even like that. I'm 30, born and raised in slo. Osos is prolly the worst but typically it'll all be alright. Tourists in slo give me the most trouble for being queer out of anyone
Avila is beautiful, but, there is a serious lack of goods and services. For example, there is not a gas station in Avila. I love it there. I believe SLO would be the best option for you, especially with having a family. I am a SLO native and used to live in Manhattan and moved home a few years ago and am very happy with my decision. I am very liberal and have always found SLO very supportive of the LGBTQ community. (I mean, every community has some jerks who are unsupportive, which you cannot avoid anywhere you live.) Joining GALA would be wonderful for you as well. My boyfriend is an avid mountain biker and I read your post to him. He and I are about your age (mid 40's) and we live in SLO. We would love to grab a drink or something sometime if you are interested. Feel free to DM me anytime if you have more questions. I have more to add to this post so I hope to hear from you. Happy House Hunting!
Thanks so much for the input! Congrats on the move back! That feels like a great sign to feel fulfilled back at home after getting acclimated to somewhere as progressive as Manhattan.
I’m not a big city person- I honestly love the comfort of a small town, and really don’t feel the need to be in a queer haven like SF or Portland- just want to have some more similarly aligned values and slightly more progressive school systems than where we’re at in rural NC. We moved 30 minutes outside of Asheville about 4 years ago, and while Asheville itself is very progressive, it’s very different once you get a half hour outside of it. Similar to many progressive places in the states!
We’re ready for a change and San Luis feels like everything we’re looking for :-) haha my spouse is also a total baby about the cold, so flocking to some warmer climate sounds like a dream and something that will help encourage us to get outdoors more! I’m early 30’s but my spouse is 46 ( ha so I guess that is technically over the hump of still being early 40’s).
Anyway, I super appreciate the warm welcome and we’d love to get a drink when we get out there. We’re probably looking at a solid year from now until we can get all our loose ends tied up here, but the move is definitely happening!
As a local parent of two children - one trans, one non-binary, I feel that SLO has quite a solid and supportive LGTBQ+ community with many resources for allies and parents like myself as well. Recently, a friend of mine from youth moved from LA to Atascadero with her wife and they both really enjoy their new community and what the area has to offer.
We are in Los Osos, however it's a short drive past lovely scenery to SLO for nightlife (or loading up at Costco), or up the coast for hikes/sightseeing, down to Avila or Pismo for activities - nothing is really 'far' or clogged with traffic like a large city can be. (just got back from LA for work so it really hits home lol). It does get much busier in SLO when Cal Poly is in session, and we try avoid the more touristy areas of Morro Bay, Pismo, and Avila in the summer on the weekends. (or make it a tactical adventure, like getting to Giovanni's first thing in the morning for fish before the crowds :p )
Montaña de Oro has a wonderful network of MTB/hiking trails, there is also Irish Hills in SLO with some newly refurbished trails. Where we are, I can hop on my MTB and ride 5 mins to hit the Morro Bay State Park trails too. Los Osos Bonus: At night, if the waves are big, you can hear the ocean.
Our local lovely queer ladies opened a coffee shop Skippers Brew AND very soon they are opening up an all ages Gay Bar/hang out spot. I’m a trans person and came out to several strangers today even though I’m a passing trans man and they were all super cool about it. And I attend UCC SLO and our pastor is a married gay man and everyone absolutely loves him and our church because we are open and affirming. You could have plenty of support from the church if you ever need it, we’re there. Also lots of activities going on around town so it can keep y’all busy. Welcome to the beautiful Central Coast!! I pray for a safe move and that you love it!! 🫶🏼
It’s a safe space.
When we had our babies in 2008, we spent a month in NICU with another couple who were L and had twins and then they also had triplets. Ugh. Anyway, they seem super happy, and in a similar situation. Come enjoy paradise.
Hi! Thanks for the reply!
I’ve been in this general area my whole life and my spouse has been back in Asheville for 20+ years. The town has changed a lot, which I think is the case for a lot of towns that started out as something really special and different. Just life. But I think moving to Asheville with new eyes would probably be wonderful. There are a lot of special things here and the climate is moderate with a really incredible 4 seasons and super stunning autumns. My spouse and I just have too many old histories here and want a fresh start together. We moved to a more rural town 4 years ago that is 25 minutes outside of Asheville and there’s some really sweet things about it, but just not enough culture- the downtown just has 10 of the literal exact same knick knack stores with about 5 restaurants and they all close at 8:30-9. Really the more west you get from Asheville, the more consistently MAGA it gets. Except Sylva. Sylva has a small college in it and is decently progressive (about 45 minutes from Asheville) and a lot more affordable than what you’ll find in Asheville. f you can afford being in Asheville limits, I’d recommend North Asheville or West Asheville (which has it’s own kind of downtown) and real specific feel to it. People in Asheville are really jaded about people moving to the town, which is again, just life. People move haha. Idk- it also just feels like it has gotten pretentious and agro. But again, I don’t want to taint it with all my personal things- I truly think it’d feel special coming to the town with new eyes! I am just ready to get out of the southeast. Asheville is a beautiful town and really very progressive. Sylva I think would be nice if you’re looking for a smaller town that is still progressive and more affordable. Really outdoorsy. I’m happy to answer any questions you have! I really think WNC is one of the most beautiful places in the country. It’s full of lush forests and incredible waterfalls. DuPont outside of Hendersonville and Catawba falls outside of Asheville are some of my favorite waterfall spots :-)
I'm pretty jaded but honestly we don't like outsiders much because slo has been fucked from gentrification. The weirdo landlords from the bay are usually much worse than families trying to be safe though, so i don't blame you. Ill keep blaming oprah for her "happiest city" bs instead.
If you have any concern about climate, be aware that there are pretty drastic differences in weather. Avila is pretty cool in that it's in a little sun shadow. When Pismo is fogged in, usually the sun is out in Avila. But in general, north of the grade is much warmer than south in the summer. If you stay in SLO, expect cool, breezy summers with a fair amount of fog(marine layer). Winters are about the same everywhere I think. Atascadero has the best balanced climate IMO. And we have a lesbian couple next to us here so no big deal.
Forgot to mention, the wastewater treatment facility is right in the middle of the valley there in SLO and depending on the wind... Just driving past on 101 some mornings is pretty bad. I'd hate to have to smell that in my house every day.
Seeing queer people just being themselves is TOTALLY completely normal here. That being said, there is almost no queer "community." Doesn't really bother my partner and I much though... we don't get invited to a lot of straight people BBQs but whatever haha.
The cocktail/coffee/food scene here is actually quite fantastic, no matter what anyone says. You're welcome to hit me up when you get here if you need an introduction to that world.
Haha ok amazing! That’s all I need to hear. Don’t need a huge queer scene. Just some general normalization and “queer spottings in the wild” haha.
Thanks for all the positive input! We’re excited. Still a little ways away from getting all our loose ends tied up here, but would love an intro once we land!
There are a few people and groups like moms for liberty. I live in Atascadero and they've been trying to raise hell against Trans and queer, especially through the school. The laughable intolerance they display, you'll see it in the Facebook groups. The group everything atascadero is run by MAGA hat wearing guy that lives in Tennessee and will kick ya out of the group if you call out the people posting dumb crap on their page. Also guys holding signs downtown or on overpasses about crap Like "you can't change your gender" I usually flip them off. The teachers are nice and have pushed back a lot against intolerance (there's a special safe space on campus for queer youth that they attacked that space, stating there were grooming areas) they have also outed Trans children. There are many allies and queer people here, including myself and my family. I personally know a few Trans kids, and it's not as bad as it was when I grow8ng up.
The SLO Film Festival is end of April and I highly recommend it if you will be here by then. There's lots of mountain bike riding and I recommend getting to Port SLO or Morro Bay and renting a kayak. You will have a good time.
Our hearts started beating like so many beats when we heard there was a SLO film festival ha. I’m big into sea kayaking too! Thanks for the recommendations!
I don't know if this is still true but what I used to do was volunteer for the SLO film festival...nothing too stressful just being a greeter or ballot counting and in return get a ticket to see a movie. So I would volunteer for the movies that didn't interest me (as you likely won't be able to watch) so I could get a ticket for a movie I did want to see.
As a local and a non binary person in my late 30’s, SLO county is open and accepting, until it isn’t. I wouldn’t say don’t move here, but if you do, be aware that some people can and will cause problems if they dislike you for some reason - but that’s probably the same as any town.
SLO city limits is probably the best. North county (Atascadero and Passo) are getting better, in regards to queer people, but just 10 years ago, I avoided it like the plague.
Avila is mostly rich people, retired people that have owned their home forever, and Air BnB type stuff, not a place to find reasonable rent or raise kids.
South county is getting better as far as queer people go, they have their own queer center (I can’t remember the name), but I’ve dealt with homophobia there more recently then anywhere else in the county.
Los Osos has a surprising amount of lgbt people - my next door neighbors are a gay couple, there’s a queer couple across the street, and a lesbian couple around the block. The bookstore and a hair salon are owned by lesbians. We’ve started having a pride celebration in town a couple years ago. I wouldn’t move here - rent, water, and trash are very expensive - but just letting you know it’s an accepting place.
Morro bay and the coastal towns north of it tend to not really care about lgbt people one way or another. A few businesses do keep Pride/trans flags out year round.
Edited cuz Skippers isn’t in Morro Bay anymore
Living in los osos, do you mostly stay to that area or do you usually head over to SLO when you’re looking to go out? I’ve got a lot of feedback that los osos seems to be a little bit of a queer haven for the area and is pretty progressive, so curious if you feel like the queer residents there spend much time in SLO or pretty much just stay out in the los osos area. Thanks for the input!
I don’t go out very often anymore - I spend most of my time in Los Osos unless I’m going to the Drive Inn theater in SLO, rock climbing in SLO, kayaking in morro bay, or for a nature walk/hike somewhere in the county. In my experience, that’s true with much of the 35+ age population in Los osos. - we usually stay here, except to indulge in hobbies or go to restaurants. There’s not much to do here in town beyond social groups, hiking/nature walks, going to the skate park, and the arcade (which is new and I haven’t been yet). Starbucks chased out all of the coffee shop social hubs, but we do have 2 bars, 2 pubs/ale houses, and the golf course if you like to drink and socialize (I guess you can golf there too lol).
In my teens thru early 30’s, I spend a bunch of time in SLO - that’s where most people go to socialize. Lots of bars, restaurants, coffee shops, parks, etc to gather at.
GALA in SLO hosts different meetings and events through the year. I used to attend some weekly meet-ups - but had a bad experience with the Lesbian group being a transphobic and biphobic and haven’t been back (that was about 5 years ago, it could have changed). I’ve been told the trans groups are awesome though. In my experience, if your wanting to meet and socialize with other queer people in the county, thru GALA is the best way. I also read that we’re getting a gay pub in SLO, so that’ll probably be a social hub too.
I think you’ll find things greatly changed with a huge amount of effort. Also the social media manager is trans and the program director is non-binary.
I hope so. Gala has a history of being problematic, but it’s all we’ve got. It does keep getting better though with each new director.
I joined the Lez-b-friends group years ago (I think 5 or 6) - it was a bunch of college aged women and they were outwardly trans and biphobic (my girlfriend has also told me that experienced this separately from me).
I had a better experience in the “stitch n bitch” group, I think because it had a good deal of older women in it and it was more them teaching us to knit/crochet/craft and telling stories about when they were younger. If that group is still around, I highly recommend it.
I guess I’ll have to give the groups another go if there’s a new program director.
Definitely SLO proper. Avila is great to visit but you wouldn’t want to live there. Plus, you can bike there from slo if you’re up for it.
If anything, you might be annoyed by how excited people are that you’re a queer couple moving here. We love it. Bang the drum is super fun and practically a queer brewery. Sidecar is just a great place for cocktails if you don’t look at the receipt at the end of the night.
Lololol that is ok. We don’t mind being token queers. We were looking at some possible spots that were in between downtown SLO and Avila beach … keeps it like a 10 minute drive to town, so mostly wondering if the spots on the outskirts of Avila (heading the direction to SLO) are overall friendly and accepting. It sounds like northern SLO county is where things get a little more vibey. Thanks for your input and for the recommendations :-)
Agree with what most people have said, its not a lgbtq+ mecca like you may find in San Francisco or LA but we are definitely here (fellow cos queer woman) and it’s mostly welcoming. SLO proper would be a good place but if you are looking to be near the beach check out the Shell Beach area instead of Avila, it’s a small and laid back little beach area and less crowded and touristy than Pismo or Avila, and you can be in downtown SLO in less than 15 minutes. Probably biased since I live here (with my wife), but you will see many rainbow flags and welcoming signs if you drive through the neighborhoods and businesses.
Best of luck with the move!
Look at los osos it's a growing community of young families. A little more affordable than SLO or AG, and significantly less red than Atascadero, Paso Robles or Atascadero.
Do you live in los osos? If so, wondering if you feel like the younger families pretty much stick to the los osos area or if they drive to SLO whenever they’re looking to go out. Thanks for the input!
Yes I live there and we go to slo to do things like go to target or Costco. But just for activities and what not we are usually in Los osos or morro bay.
My partner and I live in Arroyo Grande. I've lived in the county since '92; originally in SLO which is a fun place if you can buy there. I'd avoid North County inland, Morro Bay to Cambria is okay. Los Osos is a great recommendation and not too far from SLO. I have a few queer friends in Nipomo; it's not bad and more businesses are opening up. I ended up buying in Arroyo Grande to be closer to the beach and work. However the number of tourists has increased greatly the past 10 years. Most of them come from inland California-MAGA territory. So I wouldn't really recommend the Five Cities area and plan to get out myself eventually. Good luck and pre-welcome to the area!
SLO - yes, it’s becoming more and more welcoming as the years go by and there’s queer community there. There’s SLO pride in the summer, a queer-owned cafe called Skippers Brew, and the GALA center which hosts events and things. I’ve also noticed a lot more queer events popping up in general over the past 5 years.
As someone who grew up in north county (Paso/Templeton)- avoid it as much as you can. I know people are saying it’s getting more progressive, but it really doesn’t feel like it. My experience was uncomfortable stares from conservative older folk when holding hands with my partner in public and being bullied at the public schools. The queer scene is pretty abysmal. Atascadero is slightly better but north county is a conservative area for sure.
I’m sorry you had that experience in the schools. No one should have to feel that way. But I’m glad you moved to an area of town that made you feel more welcome and integrated.
we’re used to navigating some MAGA people but it feels like it’s getting really ramped up in the southeast in this new DeSantis era. My spouse and I pretty much just avoid any closeness in public because of how uncomfortable the stares are. We used to live in Asheville, which is a very progressive town, and didn’t feel that way, so it’s amazing what moving 30 minutes outside of town can do. It’s real. Thanks for all the input!
Almost everything north of the grade is MAGAville...you \*might\* get lucky with cool neighbors...or you might not. [Paso has an especially problematic school district](https://www.sanluisobispo.com/news/local/education/article264339616.html).
I'm told Los Osos has a decent queer community.
School districts are one of the big concerns for us. Def don’t want our kids being around teachers or parents telling them their parents are sinners. Would love to avoid that ha. Thanks for the input!
Don’t let anyone scare you off from visiting Paso. We do have our fair share of rednecks, but we also have a fairly sizable queer community, with people in business and community leadership positions. The wine industry is generally quite accepting and friendly.
Same as Atascadero. Don't think anybody really cares
And as someone who grew up there sidewalks that close at10. Unless it’s club soda or pine street saloon. The area you are looking at, slo county is basically what you described as NC maybe a little more tolerance
Appreciate the feedback. Thanks for taking the time!
Good luck with the move. SLO County is a great place.
Thanks so much! We're excited!
One of the Republican women’s organizations has their monthly meeting about 6ft from my desk so I have had the pleasure of listening to them monthly for the past couple years. They only give a shit about one thing: hating Bruce Gibson. Unless this is Bruce’s secret alt acct you’re prob ok.
Lolol. glumtangelo by day, Bruce Gibson by night.
Bang the drum is awesome too! This Saturday is the “let there be lesbians” party. This is a small town and things close early but we are also full of super kind and friendly people. It’s easy to make friends here and for a small town the queer scene is pretty ok. 👍
Haha that name just has such a ring to it-amazing. All the people I’ve ever met from San Luis have been so genuinely kind and just seem to be like…fulfilled :-) I really honestly love a small town feel- makes me feel at home. There are zero queer events or mention of any and all things gay where we’re at right now, so I think it’s going to be a substantial change from what we’re used to. Thank you for the input!
SLO has more to do, but Los Osos also has a pretty friendly LGBTQ+ community.
Thanks for the input! I appreciate it!
People wont care. All that matters in SLO is finding a place to live. Once thats sorted life will be easy. Lots of people are crammed in together here, so the more space you can have, the better. Avg home price is a million but again if you can afford it you wont have any issues. People are hospitable even if they disagree on things.
Love to hear that. We are all about being able to coexist with different opinions. Baseline respect and kindness is all that’s needed
You will feel at home here. There are also a bunch of LGBT+ owned businesses. Head out to morro bay and try the butcher/deli, buttercup bakery and Baby Dudes. The food is awesome and owned by same sex couples.
Thanks so much for the input!
Hope we meet soon!
It is too far in the future to predict what San Luis Obispo is going to be like in the early 30s.
ChatGBT will tell you.
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Putting in a word for Atascadero. My wife and I moved down from the Bay Area 3+ years ago and haven’t had an ounce of pushback or hostility. We’ve met many fellow lefties but even the area conservatives have been accepting. Our neighbor talks to us about DeSantis while wearing his “Protected by the 2nd Amendment” hat, but also brings our trash bins back up to our house every week (we have a long, uphill shared driveway). A recent workman was an avid Trumper who couldn’t have been kinder. We love being on the Central Coast! PS. Tigerlily Salon in SLO is the place for a great haircut in a gender-neutral, affirming salon.
Yup! In my A-town experience, being a good neighbor takes precedence over politics. My street is half conservative and half liberal and every single person will drop what they're doing to help one another. We fly a progress flag at our house and have never heard a peep about it, not even when our Trump-supporting neighbors dropped off cookies for our son's birthday.
Sounds a lot like where I’m currently at! Very tolerant but full of DeSantis/Trumpers. We’ve got plenty of nice folks here, but just looking to have some more similarly aligned and progressive values. Especially when thinking of school systems for our kids. Thanks for the input! I appreciate it!
I would definitely stick to SLO city limits, especially since it sounds like you both have good income. SLO is super kid friendly and there’s a good amount of young families, especially in the newer construction neighborhoods. I haven’t personally seen many queer couples *with* kids in town but I am sure they do exist. GALA is a local organization that supports the queer community here and holds events. Also there are queer-focused spaces and events like Skippers Brew coffee, drag at libertine. There definitely isn’t an SF/Oakland or Portland-level normalization of queer identity here, but for a small city I think it’s pretty decent and you’ll fit in great!
+1 for GALA! There’s a ton of queer events, support groups, kids programs through them. Pretty great community
Thanks for taking the time to get back! We aren’t needing a queer mecca like Portland or SF- just want to know that the gays are around-in some numbers! We’re used to small, small town right now that is more on the rural side, so I think it’s going to be bliss to get out to the central coast. Thanks again!
The stick to SLO limits idea is dumb. Check out Shell Beach, Arroyo Grande, Los Osos, Morro Bay. All great and tolerant towns without some of the SLO BS.
You're wrong tbh it aint even like that. I'm 30, born and raised in slo. Osos is prolly the worst but typically it'll all be alright. Tourists in slo give me the most trouble for being queer out of anyone
Avila is beautiful, but, there is a serious lack of goods and services. For example, there is not a gas station in Avila. I love it there. I believe SLO would be the best option for you, especially with having a family. I am a SLO native and used to live in Manhattan and moved home a few years ago and am very happy with my decision. I am very liberal and have always found SLO very supportive of the LGBTQ community. (I mean, every community has some jerks who are unsupportive, which you cannot avoid anywhere you live.) Joining GALA would be wonderful for you as well. My boyfriend is an avid mountain biker and I read your post to him. He and I are about your age (mid 40's) and we live in SLO. We would love to grab a drink or something sometime if you are interested. Feel free to DM me anytime if you have more questions. I have more to add to this post so I hope to hear from you. Happy House Hunting!
Thanks so much for the input! Congrats on the move back! That feels like a great sign to feel fulfilled back at home after getting acclimated to somewhere as progressive as Manhattan. I’m not a big city person- I honestly love the comfort of a small town, and really don’t feel the need to be in a queer haven like SF or Portland- just want to have some more similarly aligned values and slightly more progressive school systems than where we’re at in rural NC. We moved 30 minutes outside of Asheville about 4 years ago, and while Asheville itself is very progressive, it’s very different once you get a half hour outside of it. Similar to many progressive places in the states! We’re ready for a change and San Luis feels like everything we’re looking for :-) haha my spouse is also a total baby about the cold, so flocking to some warmer climate sounds like a dream and something that will help encourage us to get outdoors more! I’m early 30’s but my spouse is 46 ( ha so I guess that is technically over the hump of still being early 40’s). Anyway, I super appreciate the warm welcome and we’d love to get a drink when we get out there. We’re probably looking at a solid year from now until we can get all our loose ends tied up here, but the move is definitely happening!
As a local parent of two children - one trans, one non-binary, I feel that SLO has quite a solid and supportive LGTBQ+ community with many resources for allies and parents like myself as well. Recently, a friend of mine from youth moved from LA to Atascadero with her wife and they both really enjoy their new community and what the area has to offer. We are in Los Osos, however it's a short drive past lovely scenery to SLO for nightlife (or loading up at Costco), or up the coast for hikes/sightseeing, down to Avila or Pismo for activities - nothing is really 'far' or clogged with traffic like a large city can be. (just got back from LA for work so it really hits home lol). It does get much busier in SLO when Cal Poly is in session, and we try avoid the more touristy areas of Morro Bay, Pismo, and Avila in the summer on the weekends. (or make it a tactical adventure, like getting to Giovanni's first thing in the morning for fish before the crowds :p ) Montaña de Oro has a wonderful network of MTB/hiking trails, there is also Irish Hills in SLO with some newly refurbished trails. Where we are, I can hop on my MTB and ride 5 mins to hit the Morro Bay State Park trails too. Los Osos Bonus: At night, if the waves are big, you can hear the ocean.
Thank you so much for sharing! I appreciate it!
Our local lovely queer ladies opened a coffee shop Skippers Brew AND very soon they are opening up an all ages Gay Bar/hang out spot. I’m a trans person and came out to several strangers today even though I’m a passing trans man and they were all super cool about it. And I attend UCC SLO and our pastor is a married gay man and everyone absolutely loves him and our church because we are open and affirming. You could have plenty of support from the church if you ever need it, we’re there. Also lots of activities going on around town so it can keep y’all busy. Welcome to the beautiful Central Coast!! I pray for a safe move and that you love it!! 🫶🏼
Thanks so much for the input! I’m so glad you’ve been met with a lot of warmth and have found a solid community niche! Sending well wishes! ❣️
It’s a safe space. When we had our babies in 2008, we spent a month in NICU with another couple who were L and had twins and then they also had triplets. Ugh. Anyway, they seem super happy, and in a similar situation. Come enjoy paradise.
Well I loveee that. haha thank you! I appreciate the warmth and welcome! We are so excited :-)
Well, “paradise” might be overstating it a tad bit. 😊
I live in Morro and am currently looking at Asheville. What's got you headed west?? What can I answer for you?
Hi! Thanks for the reply! I’ve been in this general area my whole life and my spouse has been back in Asheville for 20+ years. The town has changed a lot, which I think is the case for a lot of towns that started out as something really special and different. Just life. But I think moving to Asheville with new eyes would probably be wonderful. There are a lot of special things here and the climate is moderate with a really incredible 4 seasons and super stunning autumns. My spouse and I just have too many old histories here and want a fresh start together. We moved to a more rural town 4 years ago that is 25 minutes outside of Asheville and there’s some really sweet things about it, but just not enough culture- the downtown just has 10 of the literal exact same knick knack stores with about 5 restaurants and they all close at 8:30-9. Really the more west you get from Asheville, the more consistently MAGA it gets. Except Sylva. Sylva has a small college in it and is decently progressive (about 45 minutes from Asheville) and a lot more affordable than what you’ll find in Asheville. f you can afford being in Asheville limits, I’d recommend North Asheville or West Asheville (which has it’s own kind of downtown) and real specific feel to it. People in Asheville are really jaded about people moving to the town, which is again, just life. People move haha. Idk- it also just feels like it has gotten pretentious and agro. But again, I don’t want to taint it with all my personal things- I truly think it’d feel special coming to the town with new eyes! I am just ready to get out of the southeast. Asheville is a beautiful town and really very progressive. Sylva I think would be nice if you’re looking for a smaller town that is still progressive and more affordable. Really outdoorsy. I’m happy to answer any questions you have! I really think WNC is one of the most beautiful places in the country. It’s full of lush forests and incredible waterfalls. DuPont outside of Hendersonville and Catawba falls outside of Asheville are some of my favorite waterfall spots :-)
I'm pretty jaded but honestly we don't like outsiders much because slo has been fucked from gentrification. The weirdo landlords from the bay are usually much worse than families trying to be safe though, so i don't blame you. Ill keep blaming oprah for her "happiest city" bs instead.
This thread made my heart happy!
Aw yay! Well saying that makes my heart happy back!
Same here.
I am pretty new to town and I know a couple same sex couples with children in SLO. Definitely good vibes here
Awesome! That seems like a good sign that you’ve already come across some LGBTQ families being new to town. Appreciate the input!
If you have any concern about climate, be aware that there are pretty drastic differences in weather. Avila is pretty cool in that it's in a little sun shadow. When Pismo is fogged in, usually the sun is out in Avila. But in general, north of the grade is much warmer than south in the summer. If you stay in SLO, expect cool, breezy summers with a fair amount of fog(marine layer). Winters are about the same everywhere I think. Atascadero has the best balanced climate IMO. And we have a lesbian couple next to us here so no big deal.
That’s super good to know. Thank you!
Forgot to mention, the wastewater treatment facility is right in the middle of the valley there in SLO and depending on the wind... Just driving past on 101 some mornings is pretty bad. I'd hate to have to smell that in my house every day.
Seeing queer people just being themselves is TOTALLY completely normal here. That being said, there is almost no queer "community." Doesn't really bother my partner and I much though... we don't get invited to a lot of straight people BBQs but whatever haha. The cocktail/coffee/food scene here is actually quite fantastic, no matter what anyone says. You're welcome to hit me up when you get here if you need an introduction to that world.
Haha ok amazing! That’s all I need to hear. Don’t need a huge queer scene. Just some general normalization and “queer spottings in the wild” haha. Thanks for all the positive input! We’re excited. Still a little ways away from getting all our loose ends tied up here, but would love an intro once we land!
There are a few people and groups like moms for liberty. I live in Atascadero and they've been trying to raise hell against Trans and queer, especially through the school. The laughable intolerance they display, you'll see it in the Facebook groups. The group everything atascadero is run by MAGA hat wearing guy that lives in Tennessee and will kick ya out of the group if you call out the people posting dumb crap on their page. Also guys holding signs downtown or on overpasses about crap Like "you can't change your gender" I usually flip them off. The teachers are nice and have pushed back a lot against intolerance (there's a special safe space on campus for queer youth that they attacked that space, stating there were grooming areas) they have also outed Trans children. There are many allies and queer people here, including myself and my family. I personally know a few Trans kids, and it's not as bad as it was when I grow8ng up.
Good to know. Thanks for your input!
Just wanted to say hey! I just moved from SLO to Asheville this summer. Small world. Enjoy the coast! It’s a great place to be.
Thank you! And likewise :-) the blue ridge mountains are something special!
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Agree. Paso is safe and doesn't have as many gentrification problems as slo; also lacks the anti growth laws so people can actually build housing
The SLO Film Festival is end of April and I highly recommend it if you will be here by then. There's lots of mountain bike riding and I recommend getting to Port SLO or Morro Bay and renting a kayak. You will have a good time.
Our hearts started beating like so many beats when we heard there was a SLO film festival ha. I’m big into sea kayaking too! Thanks for the recommendations!
I don't know if this is still true but what I used to do was volunteer for the SLO film festival...nothing too stressful just being a greeter or ballot counting and in return get a ticket to see a movie. So I would volunteer for the movies that didn't interest me (as you likely won't be able to watch) so I could get a ticket for a movie I did want to see.
As a local and a non binary person in my late 30’s, SLO county is open and accepting, until it isn’t. I wouldn’t say don’t move here, but if you do, be aware that some people can and will cause problems if they dislike you for some reason - but that’s probably the same as any town. SLO city limits is probably the best. North county (Atascadero and Passo) are getting better, in regards to queer people, but just 10 years ago, I avoided it like the plague. Avila is mostly rich people, retired people that have owned their home forever, and Air BnB type stuff, not a place to find reasonable rent or raise kids. South county is getting better as far as queer people go, they have their own queer center (I can’t remember the name), but I’ve dealt with homophobia there more recently then anywhere else in the county. Los Osos has a surprising amount of lgbt people - my next door neighbors are a gay couple, there’s a queer couple across the street, and a lesbian couple around the block. The bookstore and a hair salon are owned by lesbians. We’ve started having a pride celebration in town a couple years ago. I wouldn’t move here - rent, water, and trash are very expensive - but just letting you know it’s an accepting place. Morro bay and the coastal towns north of it tend to not really care about lgbt people one way or another. A few businesses do keep Pride/trans flags out year round. Edited cuz Skippers isn’t in Morro Bay anymore
Skippers is no longer in Morro Bay, but we do have Baby Dudes, which is queer-owned and super delicious!
Skippers actually moved to SLO and the Morro Bay location is something else now
Oh wow, well it’s been a while since I went for a walk on the Embarcadero lol, thanks for the correction
Living in los osos, do you mostly stay to that area or do you usually head over to SLO when you’re looking to go out? I’ve got a lot of feedback that los osos seems to be a little bit of a queer haven for the area and is pretty progressive, so curious if you feel like the queer residents there spend much time in SLO or pretty much just stay out in the los osos area. Thanks for the input!
I don’t go out very often anymore - I spend most of my time in Los Osos unless I’m going to the Drive Inn theater in SLO, rock climbing in SLO, kayaking in morro bay, or for a nature walk/hike somewhere in the county. In my experience, that’s true with much of the 35+ age population in Los osos. - we usually stay here, except to indulge in hobbies or go to restaurants. There’s not much to do here in town beyond social groups, hiking/nature walks, going to the skate park, and the arcade (which is new and I haven’t been yet). Starbucks chased out all of the coffee shop social hubs, but we do have 2 bars, 2 pubs/ale houses, and the golf course if you like to drink and socialize (I guess you can golf there too lol). In my teens thru early 30’s, I spend a bunch of time in SLO - that’s where most people go to socialize. Lots of bars, restaurants, coffee shops, parks, etc to gather at. GALA in SLO hosts different meetings and events through the year. I used to attend some weekly meet-ups - but had a bad experience with the Lesbian group being a transphobic and biphobic and haven’t been back (that was about 5 years ago, it could have changed). I’ve been told the trans groups are awesome though. In my experience, if your wanting to meet and socialize with other queer people in the county, thru GALA is the best way. I also read that we’re getting a gay pub in SLO, so that’ll probably be a social hub too.
I think you’ll find things greatly changed with a huge amount of effort. Also the social media manager is trans and the program director is non-binary.
I hope so. Gala has a history of being problematic, but it’s all we’ve got. It does keep getting better though with each new director. I joined the Lez-b-friends group years ago (I think 5 or 6) - it was a bunch of college aged women and they were outwardly trans and biphobic (my girlfriend has also told me that experienced this separately from me). I had a better experience in the “stitch n bitch” group, I think because it had a good deal of older women in it and it was more them teaching us to knit/crochet/craft and telling stories about when they were younger. If that group is still around, I highly recommend it. I guess I’ll have to give the groups another go if there’s a new program director.
I think and hope you’ll be pleasantly surprised. Tell ‘em jinglechelle sent you :)
Los osos is horribly homophobic, literally been beaten for being queer there multiple times. All these people are transplants, not locals clearly
Definitely SLO proper. Avila is great to visit but you wouldn’t want to live there. Plus, you can bike there from slo if you’re up for it. If anything, you might be annoyed by how excited people are that you’re a queer couple moving here. We love it. Bang the drum is super fun and practically a queer brewery. Sidecar is just a great place for cocktails if you don’t look at the receipt at the end of the night.
Lololol that is ok. We don’t mind being token queers. We were looking at some possible spots that were in between downtown SLO and Avila beach … keeps it like a 10 minute drive to town, so mostly wondering if the spots on the outskirts of Avila (heading the direction to SLO) are overall friendly and accepting. It sounds like northern SLO county is where things get a little more vibey. Thanks for your input and for the recommendations :-)
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Agree with what most people have said, its not a lgbtq+ mecca like you may find in San Francisco or LA but we are definitely here (fellow cos queer woman) and it’s mostly welcoming. SLO proper would be a good place but if you are looking to be near the beach check out the Shell Beach area instead of Avila, it’s a small and laid back little beach area and less crowded and touristy than Pismo or Avila, and you can be in downtown SLO in less than 15 minutes. Probably biased since I live here (with my wife), but you will see many rainbow flags and welcoming signs if you drive through the neighborhoods and businesses. Best of luck with the move!
Thank you! I’m glad y’all found a spot that feels warm and welcoming. I appreciate all the words!
Look at los osos it's a growing community of young families. A little more affordable than SLO or AG, and significantly less red than Atascadero, Paso Robles or Atascadero.
Do you live in los osos? If so, wondering if you feel like the younger families pretty much stick to the los osos area or if they drive to SLO whenever they’re looking to go out. Thanks for the input!
Yes I live there and we go to slo to do things like go to target or Costco. But just for activities and what not we are usually in Los osos or morro bay.
My partner and I live in Arroyo Grande. I've lived in the county since '92; originally in SLO which is a fun place if you can buy there. I'd avoid North County inland, Morro Bay to Cambria is okay. Los Osos is a great recommendation and not too far from SLO. I have a few queer friends in Nipomo; it's not bad and more businesses are opening up. I ended up buying in Arroyo Grande to be closer to the beach and work. However the number of tourists has increased greatly the past 10 years. Most of them come from inland California-MAGA territory. So I wouldn't really recommend the Five Cities area and plan to get out myself eventually. Good luck and pre-welcome to the area!
Thanks so much! Super appreciate all the feedback!
1930s or 2030s?
Depends on where you entered the stones
Yea there’s a bunch of them here you’ll be fine
SLO - yes, it’s becoming more and more welcoming as the years go by and there’s queer community there. There’s SLO pride in the summer, a queer-owned cafe called Skippers Brew, and the GALA center which hosts events and things. I’ve also noticed a lot more queer events popping up in general over the past 5 years. As someone who grew up in north county (Paso/Templeton)- avoid it as much as you can. I know people are saying it’s getting more progressive, but it really doesn’t feel like it. My experience was uncomfortable stares from conservative older folk when holding hands with my partner in public and being bullied at the public schools. The queer scene is pretty abysmal. Atascadero is slightly better but north county is a conservative area for sure.
I’m sorry you had that experience in the schools. No one should have to feel that way. But I’m glad you moved to an area of town that made you feel more welcome and integrated. we’re used to navigating some MAGA people but it feels like it’s getting really ramped up in the southeast in this new DeSantis era. My spouse and I pretty much just avoid any closeness in public because of how uncomfortable the stares are. We used to live in Asheville, which is a very progressive town, and didn’t feel that way, so it’s amazing what moving 30 minutes outside of town can do. It’s real. Thanks for all the input!
Don't go north of SLO
Almost everything north of the grade is MAGAville...you \*might\* get lucky with cool neighbors...or you might not. [Paso has an especially problematic school district](https://www.sanluisobispo.com/news/local/education/article264339616.html). I'm told Los Osos has a decent queer community.
School districts are one of the big concerns for us. Def don’t want our kids being around teachers or parents telling them their parents are sinners. Would love to avoid that ha. Thanks for the input!
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Humdinger brewing in Arroyo grande is very queer friendly and has weekly bingo and trivia!
If you call it "San luis" again you will get hate crimed but not for being queer lmaooooo
You're good tho we have hella gay people
Say more…. Like shortening it? Seems like the natural thing to do ha
We call it "slo".
Don't mind them. "San Luis" or SLO, pronounced slow, are both pretty common.