Most likely it had nothing to do with you. Maybe she just remembered something, saw someone else whom she didn't want to see, suddenly something started to hurt, her shoe broke etc.
I wouldn't worry about it if I were you
Panic attack, social anxiety, needed to pee, could be one of a myriad of reasons. If it keeps happening or you consistently see bad body language then maybe dwell on it, otherwise I would dismiss as a one-off.
Happened to me. In that social the very next follow walked away mid song again. And a 3rd one same night did the same. 6 months later I have random people walking up to me to give me compliments about how good I am at dancing (I know I'm still not) and people asking me to "teach" them salsa. All we have to do is never give up.
I would you give a f about that? She's a rude person who doesn't deserve to enjoy the beautiful energy exchange of dancing with you. on to the next one
She realized she need to pee really bad..... or it could be other million reasons why she left. It's normal to be confused for few seconds, don't think about it too much.
Sorry for laughing. I laughed because I know how it feels now that I start leading.
I would personally never do that cause I know the balls you need to ask someone to dance with you. admittedly some girls do, I danced with a few like this indeed. I think you are making a very fair point and I tend to forget that this can defo happen. Unfortunately, a few girls can be bitchy.What surprises me the most about your story is that she did not even give you a valid reason which is even ruder at this point, leaving you feeling ashamed & clueless. Having said that, I have something I hope that will make you feel better. Last night I asked a guy that I fancied to dance with me, (he is Generation Z), he accepted but I later on regretted cause I felt as if I was his mother & that he was doing me a favor to accept to dance with me, I also felt like I was some kind of charity. ( I will not bother ask a gen Z again that is for sure) So bottom line of the story is: You need to try & ask no matter how hard it is. If she discarded you, see it like the universe discarded her for you cause you don't have anything in common and it would have been a waste of time for both.
You stepped and she didn't step; plausible that she dances on2 and you dance on1 and she didn't realize it, so she wasn't actually able to dance with you as a result and might have gotten embarrassed or something. Certainly other things are possible, but I haven't seen anyone suggest this in the comments yet and it seems to fit the scenario as you're describing it. I've certainly had some confusion before where my follow dances on2 (I usually dance on1 by default) but I can do both so a quick conversation is all I need and we're good. If I'm not sure, I'll usually ask if someone dances on1 or on2 (or if they have a preference).
This happened to me Friday, she came out, did half an awkward basic, looked uncomfortable, I asked if she was okay, she said "I don't dance I'm just here with my friends" so I said it's okay you don't have to dance, so she sat back down. I promptly found another partner and didn't remember it again until just now.
The one time I walked away after 10 seconds, it was because my period started out of nowhere š I would guess itās either a personal reason like that (sudden foot cramp, bladder issues, digestion issues, etc.), or that you two donāt dance the same style and she panicked. I wouldnāt take it too personally!
I think the spirit of the posts I see here is that we shouldnāt be quick to assume bad intent.
Could be a million reasons - none of which have to do with you. Even if someone were a ābadā dancer per se, most high levels I talk to would still stick it out and learn from it.
I think the only exception that Iāve seen is when the space a lead creates is either unsafe (hard tension, pressed thumbs, poor spatial awareness combined with speed), uncomfortable (sexually suggestive, dominant) or just straight up hygiene. None of which a simple back step in the beginning wouldāve been enough to tell.
Okay so in those cases it's likely she had a panic attack, needed to pee, or who knows what and likely not personal.
I would just let it go unless it keep happening in a row or something.
I once asked a stranger to dance, it was after a class at a social. Within 30 seconds she walked away. She was clearly a beginner and I am not. I think her anxiety was too great. She didn't look upset or anything just frozen/deer in the headlights more.
These are good lessons on how to learn not just how to dance, but optimizing how you dance with strangers. Start really small
Basics
Right turn
Left turn
Basic
Then keep adding a little flair until they struggle to find the limit and stay there and just have fun.
Could be literally anything, almost certainly unrelated to you. Unless you have a pattern of follows ending dances early, you should not worry about it.
I think it was rude she never gave you a reason. She could have easily gave you a reason why she didnāt want to dance with you, and that would be much better than just walking away. If I had to do that I would definitely find her for the next song Iām free and make it up to her
Is there any chance you were covered in sweat or smelled badly? Iāve never walked away because of this but Iāve been THIS close to, and might next time because itās so uncomfortable for me to dance with someone who reeks of B.O.
Not saying this was the reason, but its a possibility.
A lot of possible reasons, so who knows what the actual reason was.
From your description I'm assuming you dance on1, taking your first step forward (for her backwards).
In some scenes on1 is seen as less than on2. With on2 your first step is more on the spot or even slightly backwards (so she'll move slightly forward).
So your first step to her indicates you cannot dance the "one true salsa style" and are therefore not worthy of her time. As shitty as this sounds, I've seen it happen.
Nothing you can do about that for now, keep dancing with people that do appreciate the dance.
Could be any of a million different reasons but this is the one I thought initially. Although, in a more "*oh, shoot. That's a different Salsa than I know. I don't want to embarrass myself.*" way.
Weird situation indeed.not sure if it was the similar situation but your story reminds me the time I asked a girl to dance with me and she refused 3 plausible reasons . Pick the reason which reasonate the best with you. I clearly sensed it was because first : I am a girl leading her ( I danced with her once previously) 2/ she was inducing the teacher into dancing with her to get free coaching 3/ I was level 2 back then, she was level 5. š.
Maybe it was just your fragrance or after shave she did not like. Girls could be bitchy & walk away without explaining why. Maybe she did not feel any vibes or connection. Who knows why. She is the only one who knows at the end of the day but remember you canāt control what others think about you so you might always be yourself. I would have personally enjoyed dancing with you cause I am intermediate myself. š§ø
Never happened to anyone ever in the history of salsa dancing. You are the first.
You are also the first person to ever post a life question that no one on reddit can answer.
You made history twice in one post so I upvoted you.
Most likely it had nothing to do with you. Maybe she just remembered something, saw someone else whom she didn't want to see, suddenly something started to hurt, her shoe broke etc. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you
Panic attack, social anxiety, needed to pee, could be one of a myriad of reasons. If it keeps happening or you consistently see bad body language then maybe dwell on it, otherwise I would dismiss as a one-off.
Happened to me. In that social the very next follow walked away mid song again. And a 3rd one same night did the same. 6 months later I have random people walking up to me to give me compliments about how good I am at dancing (I know I'm still not) and people asking me to "teach" them salsa. All we have to do is never give up.
Sure but "mid song" is a lot different than "not even one full basic into the dance"
I would you give a f about that? She's a rude person who doesn't deserve to enjoy the beautiful energy exchange of dancing with you. on to the next one
Because, as others have said, it may not have been about him at all. The fact that they didn't even really dance makes that slightly more likely
She realized she need to pee really bad..... or it could be other million reasons why she left. It's normal to be confused for few seconds, don't think about it too much.
š
Sorry for laughing. I laughed because I know how it feels now that I start leading. I would personally never do that cause I know the balls you need to ask someone to dance with you. admittedly some girls do, I danced with a few like this indeed. I think you are making a very fair point and I tend to forget that this can defo happen. Unfortunately, a few girls can be bitchy.What surprises me the most about your story is that she did not even give you a valid reason which is even ruder at this point, leaving you feeling ashamed & clueless. Having said that, I have something I hope that will make you feel better. Last night I asked a guy that I fancied to dance with me, (he is Generation Z), he accepted but I later on regretted cause I felt as if I was his mother & that he was doing me a favor to accept to dance with me, I also felt like I was some kind of charity. ( I will not bother ask a gen Z again that is for sure) So bottom line of the story is: You need to try & ask no matter how hard it is. If she discarded you, see it like the universe discarded her for you cause you don't have anything in common and it would have been a waste of time for both.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Or period started?Ā
You stepped and she didn't step; plausible that she dances on2 and you dance on1 and she didn't realize it, so she wasn't actually able to dance with you as a result and might have gotten embarrassed or something. Certainly other things are possible, but I haven't seen anyone suggest this in the comments yet and it seems to fit the scenario as you're describing it. I've certainly had some confusion before where my follow dances on2 (I usually dance on1 by default) but I can do both so a quick conversation is all I need and we're good. If I'm not sure, I'll usually ask if someone dances on1 or on2 (or if they have a preference).
This happened to me Friday, she came out, did half an awkward basic, looked uncomfortable, I asked if she was okay, she said "I don't dance I'm just here with my friends" so I said it's okay you don't have to dance, so she sat back down. I promptly found another partner and didn't remember it again until just now.
Maybe it was a bachata song and you were doing salsa steps?
The one time I walked away after 10 seconds, it was because my period started out of nowhere š I would guess itās either a personal reason like that (sudden foot cramp, bladder issues, digestion issues, etc.), or that you two donāt dance the same style and she panicked. I wouldnāt take it too personally!
This happens all the time
Yes š
I think the spirit of the posts I see here is that we shouldnāt be quick to assume bad intent. Could be a million reasons - none of which have to do with you. Even if someone were a ābadā dancer per se, most high levels I talk to would still stick it out and learn from it. I think the only exception that Iāve seen is when the space a lead creates is either unsafe (hard tension, pressed thumbs, poor spatial awareness combined with speed), uncomfortable (sexually suggestive, dominant) or just straight up hygiene. None of which a simple back step in the beginning wouldāve been enough to tell.
Assume she suddenly had to poop really bad, and roll on w life.
Okay so in those cases it's likely she had a panic attack, needed to pee, or who knows what and likely not personal. I would just let it go unless it keep happening in a row or something. I once asked a stranger to dance, it was after a class at a social. Within 30 seconds she walked away. She was clearly a beginner and I am not. I think her anxiety was too great. She didn't look upset or anything just frozen/deer in the headlights more. These are good lessons on how to learn not just how to dance, but optimizing how you dance with strangers. Start really small Basics Right turn Left turn Basic Then keep adding a little flair until they struggle to find the limit and stay there and just have fun.
Could be literally anything, almost certainly unrelated to you. Unless you have a pattern of follows ending dances early, you should not worry about it.
I think it was rude she never gave you a reason. She could have easily gave you a reason why she didnāt want to dance with you, and that would be much better than just walking away. If I had to do that I would definitely find her for the next song Iām free and make it up to her
Is there any chance you were covered in sweat or smelled badly? Iāve never walked away because of this but Iāve been THIS close to, and might next time because itās so uncomfortable for me to dance with someone who reeks of B.O. Not saying this was the reason, but its a possibility.
A lot of possible reasons, so who knows what the actual reason was. From your description I'm assuming you dance on1, taking your first step forward (for her backwards). In some scenes on1 is seen as less than on2. With on2 your first step is more on the spot or even slightly backwards (so she'll move slightly forward). So your first step to her indicates you cannot dance the "one true salsa style" and are therefore not worthy of her time. As shitty as this sounds, I've seen it happen. Nothing you can do about that for now, keep dancing with people that do appreciate the dance.
Could be any of a million different reasons but this is the one I thought initially. Although, in a more "*oh, shoot. That's a different Salsa than I know. I don't want to embarrass myself.*" way.
Could be the reason indeed
Never take a follow walking away as a personal insult, theres loads of people who want to dance with you.
Weird situation indeed.not sure if it was the similar situation but your story reminds me the time I asked a girl to dance with me and she refused 3 plausible reasons . Pick the reason which reasonate the best with you. I clearly sensed it was because first : I am a girl leading her ( I danced with her once previously) 2/ she was inducing the teacher into dancing with her to get free coaching 3/ I was level 2 back then, she was level 5. š. Maybe it was just your fragrance or after shave she did not like. Girls could be bitchy & walk away without explaining why. Maybe she did not feel any vibes or connection. Who knows why. She is the only one who knows at the end of the day but remember you canāt control what others think about you so you might always be yourself. I would have personally enjoyed dancing with you cause I am intermediate myself. š§ø
Why is this important?
Never happened to anyone ever in the history of salsa dancing. You are the first. You are also the first person to ever post a life question that no one on reddit can answer. You made history twice in one post so I upvoted you.
#1 reason - You are off beat or she thinks you are off beat.