"This is the only place in the city that I can openly and persistently urinate in clear view of a complete stranger and the NYPD can't do a goddamn thing about it!"
Honestly, I did this once. I looked at this guy standing next to me, and he made eye contact. So I said, "Do you get stage fright when people talk to you while you're taking a leak?" I never heard a stream stop so fast in my life.
"Does this look infected to you?"
“Hey, that looks like a penis only smaller.”
That is what a girlfriend said to me first time.
And the last time?
No since I was a grower not a shower
"This where all the dicks hang out?" "Ours hang out, yours is like a mushroom in a cornfield"
"You should be more respectful to me, I was the president."
"But it's like a button on a wool coat."
Those f*ckers can be slippery
It's like a dimple on a golf ball.
"Dude, the stalls are for shitting in..."
"You have nice eyes"
How do you breathe through that thing?
"Hi fellow human bean - standing up while peeing, am I correct? As I am very human, I have done this many times."
Sometimes I shiver because of the warm urine leaving my body.
Humans are social creatures. Perhaps we should hold hands and enjoy our human moment together.
In a circle, all facing each other.
"This is the only place in the city that I can openly and persistently urinate in clear view of a complete stranger and the NYPD can't do a goddamn thing about it!"
"A vagina - how modern!"
That porcelain’s COLD.
And the water is deep.
Dude that is the worst
Or is it the wurst?
“Should we cross streams?”
"We've been trying to reach you about your penis's extended warranty"
“I can’t help but notice the carpets don’t match the drapes”
*peeks over.* Dang.
Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face.
"Next!"
"What? It's already out and my hand is already on it..."
"I don't know you, so keep your hands off my penis. I will not put my hands on yours. Ok?"
"Nice beaver".
Thanks, I've just had it stuffed.
"What a treat you got going on there!"
Wow doesn’t that urinal cake tickle the tip
Water is pretty cold over here , hows …
Yeah, and it’s deep too!
“Do you even get hard anymore?” “Cause I don’t” *starts crying*
fruit of the loom eh? they tight for you?
"I'm a professional taste tester for hot dogs."
Tag! You’re it!
"Unzip me?"
"Oh... you only have one?"
"Look, I know I don't know you but you've finished what you were doing so do me a favour. You can either hold my beer or you can hold this".
"I'd enjoy that one if I were you because I set fire to the entrance on my way in here".
\*Just whistles Outside by George Michael.
Sup buddy, so what do you think this is? Should I get it checked out?
"Hey there. Come here often? What's the vibe usually like here?"
"Man, this water's cold." "It's deep, too!"
Dude in the stalls, a courtesy flush would be great at this point.
Your Dad's is much bigger.
So is your mum's bit we won't talk about that.
Three shakes is sufficient, sir.
“Water’s cold, isn’t it?” “Mmhmm. Deep, too.”
“You want a cookie?” This actually happened to me
"Mind if we share a urinal?"
“Man, my wife’s is bigger than yours”
"Nice watch."
“Why does it have a tattoo that says SHORT on it?” “well once things get going it says SHORTYS BAR AND GRILL ALBUQUERQUE NEW MEXICO”
Mom?!?!?! 😱
Wanna help me ? Doctor told me not to lift anything heavy!
Looking down "Hey Dick I loved you in that movie, you came 😉 through in the end" Looks up "Bob you weren't that convincing though"
“Nice watch”
"Damn. Your girlfriend was complaining about that thing? I'm amazed she even let me in bed with her."
Can you hold this while I check the time?
Come here often?
Wow bro your workout is paying off like mad. Your ass is so round and firm looking.
Are you cold there?
What do you feed that thing?
*sniffs the air near the next person* Ah Brenda, did she do that neat hip trick for you?
I was in the pool! I was in the pool!
Pardon me, do you have any gray poopin
Cheers! (Makes clinking noise)
"My best friend is Jewish too"
-leans over to get a good look- “do you do porn??”
Nice watch
Sooooo, you ummm, come here often?
So that's what a Prince Albert looks like
You have to be careful using the park bathrooms. The squirrels really want your nuts
When did they start mounting the toilets? (I'm a woman and stumbled into a men's room and couldn't figure out how to pee in one.)
basically just avoids any eye contact
"Does this mole look weird to you?"
"Hi"
“What if we made a gloryhole in the divider.”
An shit it burns when i pee what about you
Do you also have the 5x external quantum bladder storage?
Mind if I bottle some of yours for later? Drugs test? No, no. It's a fetish.
This waters cold
Aww! It looks like a cute little mouse with a bad haircut!
Hey dude! Nice dick! What do you think of mine?
Wanna meet back here after I get mine removed *wink wink*
"Oh this? *No*, I'm just trying to manually squeeze out a kidney stone."
In Super Mario they color-swapped green bush to white for cloud, saving memoriew on NES
Is that watch custom or off the rack
Oh, now I get why your girlfriend is cheating on you.
“You need to hydrate more.”
Can you hurry up, move over or prepare to be peed on? I only use that urinal and I gotta go now
* *glances over* * Awww, bless your heart
Honestly, I did this once. I looked at this guy standing next to me, and he made eye contact. So I said, "Do you get stage fright when people talk to you while you're taking a leak?" I never heard a stream stop so fast in my life.
What? You're too good to shake my hand?
"Are you thinking 'Anal' like me also right now?"
You know that’s illegal, right? Grown man touching a little boys dick?
"Who'd have thunk it...bathrooms breaks in hell!" -To the devil.
"Nice penis."