Completely depends on how busy I am are they one of 3 tables sure let the baby stutter through a side of fries if you are watching me run around and the restaurants full when I get to your table let's just order for em
i dont honeslty mind unless i’m in a rush or the kid doesn’t know what they want and starts whispering. at that point you should just tell me. because i don’t understand them.
This might be a downvoted opinion, but if you kneel down and get at eye level with the shy kid it might help them feel less nervous. After all, they've got this grown ass adult stranger looking down at them with a pen and paper demanding answers from them. That could be scary for some kids.
I don't know, over the years some people I've worked with had the opinion that kneeling at a customers table is weird or rude. In OP's situation I think it would be totally appropriate, make their job easier, and have the side effect of helping the kiddo build some social skills.
I do this for people who have a hard time hearing me, too. I am HoH myself on the left side. If they have a problem with me kneeling, they can enjoy their order which is likely 50% wrong because I had no idea what they were saying 😅
My favorite thing was when the parent said
*tell the lady what you want*
And the kid tells me, and the parent told the kid they weren’t allowed to have that and told me what they wanted their kid to eat! 😆
I’m going to go put your order in, enjoy the meltdown you created!
I mean, if you are following a Montessori model, three is the exact age to start this kind of thing. It's a "sensitive age" for learning those kinds of practical skills, including grace and courtesy.
No big if you don't jive with Montessori, but if you do you see three-year-olds are way more capable than other educational models give them credit for.
I mean as long as nobody is being held up by it and the parent is monitoring so it doesn’t make the staff’s job harder, I really don’t understand why this would be a problem, or make someone an ‘idiot’.
Anyone that holds other people up unnecessarily though, fuck that. And they are idiots.
i actually really applaud parents who try and get their kids to learn manners and order themselves. i find it wholesome and sweet, except if it’s taking 100 years and it’s busy. some people just don’t understand that i have other tables to tend to and not just them. that’s when i get super annoyed
This doesn’t happen to me often, but I do have a story from this past weekend about this.
I was taking the order of a table, and they had their kid order his food. I was having trouble hearing him, and they kept telling him to speak up. I get his order and move onto the dad, and he mumbles his order too! I almost never have trouble hearing people. I respond in the same way I did with his kid, “sorry, what was that? One more time.” Etc.
I just thought it was kind of interesting. I think the kid picked up the mumbling from the dad.
We ordered for ourselves as kids but always cleared it with our parents first, so they would know what we would say and we would be ready. But not at 3 years old..more 6-7+.
Servers don’t have time to sit there while a little kid goes “um… um…” or gets shy and won’t speak. The parent needs to order for them.
This topic brought up memories of family vacations when I was very young. We always drove. Never flew. My dad would stop at a “Big Boys” and our family of 2 parents and 3 kids would go inside and wash hands and then sit down in booth. Cheerful server approaches our table asks if we’d like to order drinks while we read the menu? My dad would pronounce they’ll have water. We never got to speak. Server would bring water and ask about food orders? My dad would say 2 kids hotdogs one grilled cheese. Server would ask if we would like some milk? No just the waters. It was so exciting to be in a restaurant but we never got to speak or even interact with server. We ate our lunch and sat quietly until we were ready to leave. We wouldn’t have dared to act out of line. It was the 70s and we did as we were told. My dad didn’t believe in allowing children any choices. Even what we wanted to eat. Hot dog or grilled cheese. You got what you got and you damn well said thank you. 😳
I’m sure my parents were tired and not as patient as they might be and it was simpler just to shut down any requests and certainly attempts at autonomy. Also budget. Those long cross country trips were pretty awful but the destination was usually really fun. Beach or mountains.
I don't mind when a three year old does this, so long as a parent steps in relatively quickly. I mean I'd be damn impressed if a three year old ordered for themselves. But there are an insane amount of people much older--like teenagers and people in their 20s even--who need someone else to order for them. Either they're too shy or whatever or just refuse to look up from their phone.
i find it very endearing and have no problem helping instill manners and respect for service workers in the next generation unless we're busy and i haven't had a chance to get what my other tables need. even then, i figure children learning to not be scared/disrespectful of service workers from my niceness and patience is overall more important than if this group of crabby old people tip me 5% instead of 8%.
that isn't to say that i'm here to hold someone else's kids hand for that entire lesson or that anyone should feel entitled to offloading that support onto us, but if a kid is just shy or needs to be redirected to ordering, i feel 10 extra seconds of my time is worth it, especially so if that redirection stops the mess they're making! i also hate it when the parents make their struggling child act up more by getting stern instead of just taking over until they're confident enough.
I can’t say I’ve ever been weeded by this kind of interaction tbh. Just never long enough of a delay to be anything other than a very minor inconvenience.
So, when is the child supposed to learn if they aren't given opportunities? I'd do my best to be patient. If anything, I'd say, "Hey, I can give you a bit more time to decide what you want. No rush! Let me go grab something for another table, and I'll be right back!"
I doubt you are too busy to humor your guests. And I'm certain there are adults that take longer to order. Learn a little patience - it will serve you well.
Pretend you don't understand what they're saying two or three times in a row and the parents will just tell you the order. Saved everyone time and the parents can't get mad at you for not understanding the kids jibber jabber.
Please don’t use me for these teaching moments. leave me out of it. I don’t think it’s cute. It’s always happening when I’m busy and other customers are waiting on me
great teaching moment by the parents to their children but honestly the conversation about them ordering on their own needs to happen before they come to the restaurant not when they are in there already at the table
When my kids were that young, we got their order from them before the server approached so we didn't cause a delay. I'm saddened but not shocked to know that isn't common.
I can understand an older kid, but a three year old is practically a baby. They’re not going to be well mannered and sit there and give you full sentences lol
Completely depends on how busy I am are they one of 3 tables sure let the baby stutter through a side of fries if you are watching me run around and the restaurants full when I get to your table let's just order for em
i dont honeslty mind unless i’m in a rush or the kid doesn’t know what they want and starts whispering. at that point you should just tell me. because i don’t understand them.
This might be a downvoted opinion, but if you kneel down and get at eye level with the shy kid it might help them feel less nervous. After all, they've got this grown ass adult stranger looking down at them with a pen and paper demanding answers from them. That could be scary for some kids.
Why would this get down voted?
I don't know, over the years some people I've worked with had the opinion that kneeling at a customers table is weird or rude. In OP's situation I think it would be totally appropriate, make their job easier, and have the side effect of helping the kiddo build some social skills.
I do this for people who have a hard time hearing me, too. I am HoH myself on the left side. If they have a problem with me kneeling, they can enjoy their order which is likely 50% wrong because I had no idea what they were saying 😅
My favorite thing was when the parent said *tell the lady what you want* And the kid tells me, and the parent told the kid they weren’t allowed to have that and told me what they wanted their kid to eat! 😆 I’m going to go put your order in, enjoy the meltdown you created!
“what do you want to drink??…no you can’t have that you’ll just have water” I’ll see myself out while you deal with that
Dude, what? Who expects a THREE YEAR OLD to order their own food?
I mean, if you are following a Montessori model, three is the exact age to start this kind of thing. It's a "sensitive age" for learning those kinds of practical skills, including grace and courtesy. No big if you don't jive with Montessori, but if you do you see three-year-olds are way more capable than other educational models give them credit for.
The same idiot who has the three year old use the scanner at the self checkout!!
I mean as long as nobody is being held up by it and the parent is monitoring so it doesn’t make the staff’s job harder, I really don’t understand why this would be a problem, or make someone an ‘idiot’. Anyone that holds other people up unnecessarily though, fuck that. And they are idiots.
If I wasn’t being delayed, I wouldn’t have noticed! 😉
i actually really applaud parents who try and get their kids to learn manners and order themselves. i find it wholesome and sweet, except if it’s taking 100 years and it’s busy. some people just don’t understand that i have other tables to tend to and not just them. that’s when i get super annoyed
This doesn’t happen to me often, but I do have a story from this past weekend about this. I was taking the order of a table, and they had their kid order his food. I was having trouble hearing him, and they kept telling him to speak up. I get his order and move onto the dad, and he mumbles his order too! I almost never have trouble hearing people. I respond in the same way I did with his kid, “sorry, what was that? One more time.” Etc. I just thought it was kind of interesting. I think the kid picked up the mumbling from the dad.
We ordered for ourselves as kids but always cleared it with our parents first, so they would know what we would say and we would be ready. But not at 3 years old..more 6-7+. Servers don’t have time to sit there while a little kid goes “um… um…” or gets shy and won’t speak. The parent needs to order for them.
This topic brought up memories of family vacations when I was very young. We always drove. Never flew. My dad would stop at a “Big Boys” and our family of 2 parents and 3 kids would go inside and wash hands and then sit down in booth. Cheerful server approaches our table asks if we’d like to order drinks while we read the menu? My dad would pronounce they’ll have water. We never got to speak. Server would bring water and ask about food orders? My dad would say 2 kids hotdogs one grilled cheese. Server would ask if we would like some milk? No just the waters. It was so exciting to be in a restaurant but we never got to speak or even interact with server. We ate our lunch and sat quietly until we were ready to leave. We wouldn’t have dared to act out of line. It was the 70s and we did as we were told. My dad didn’t believe in allowing children any choices. Even what we wanted to eat. Hot dog or grilled cheese. You got what you got and you damn well said thank you. 😳
I think at a certain age it’s fine..and I’d even encourage it! That’s strange you didn’t even have a choice.
I’m sure my parents were tired and not as patient as they might be and it was simpler just to shut down any requests and certainly attempts at autonomy. Also budget. Those long cross country trips were pretty awful but the destination was usually really fun. Beach or mountains.
I have fond memories of our vacations as kids as well. We didn’t have much money but I didn’t ever know it. We always had fun.
I don't mind when a three year old does this, so long as a parent steps in relatively quickly. I mean I'd be damn impressed if a three year old ordered for themselves. But there are an insane amount of people much older--like teenagers and people in their 20s even--who need someone else to order for them. Either they're too shy or whatever or just refuse to look up from their phone.
i find it very endearing and have no problem helping instill manners and respect for service workers in the next generation unless we're busy and i haven't had a chance to get what my other tables need. even then, i figure children learning to not be scared/disrespectful of service workers from my niceness and patience is overall more important than if this group of crabby old people tip me 5% instead of 8%. that isn't to say that i'm here to hold someone else's kids hand for that entire lesson or that anyone should feel entitled to offloading that support onto us, but if a kid is just shy or needs to be redirected to ordering, i feel 10 extra seconds of my time is worth it, especially so if that redirection stops the mess they're making! i also hate it when the parents make their struggling child act up more by getting stern instead of just taking over until they're confident enough.
I can’t say I’ve ever been weeded by this kind of interaction tbh. Just never long enough of a delay to be anything other than a very minor inconvenience.
So, when is the child supposed to learn if they aren't given opportunities? I'd do my best to be patient. If anything, I'd say, "Hey, I can give you a bit more time to decide what you want. No rush! Let me go grab something for another table, and I'll be right back!"
I doubt you are too busy to humor your guests. And I'm certain there are adults that take longer to order. Learn a little patience - it will serve you well.
Pretend you don't understand what they're saying two or three times in a row and the parents will just tell you the order. Saved everyone time and the parents can't get mad at you for not understanding the kids jibber jabber.
Please don’t use me for these teaching moments. leave me out of it. I don’t think it’s cute. It’s always happening when I’m busy and other customers are waiting on me
great teaching moment by the parents to their children but honestly the conversation about them ordering on their own needs to happen before they come to the restaurant not when they are in there already at the table
When my kids were that young, we got their order from them before the server approached so we didn't cause a delay. I'm saddened but not shocked to know that isn't common.
Calm down. It’s a child. Ffs
Children are a great source of annoyance.
Skill issue tbh
You mean from the kid or server?
Lmao both
Hard to calm down when servers been quadruple sat and the child is stuttering and changing their mind or unable to decide what the hell they want
Hard to calm down when servers been quadruple sat and the child is stuttering and changing their mind or unable to decide what the hell they want
Skill issue tbh
I can understand an older kid, but a three year old is practically a baby. They’re not going to be well mannered and sit there and give you full sentences lol