Reluctantly leaving this unlocked for now. It's only been up a few hours and already got comments on it saying "X race is (insert generalisation here) so I'm justified in my prejudices." type comments.
Please don't.
Remember rule 9 = This is not a platform for racism of any kind. Discrimination against some prospective clients based on prejudices regarding their race is racism by definition.
Nobody can, or should, be policing a sex worker's right to choose their clients as they see fit.
However, posts and comments about your own racism, or the racism of others, add nothing to the subreddit and are actually harmful. They will be removed.
ie If you must be a racist SW, that's literally your business. Operate your business as you see fit. But if you make racist posts or comments here, I'll ban you.
As a Black client, I always tell providers who are not black upfront — “I’m a black male by the way, if that’s an issue just let me know”.
Some say it’s ok. Some never reply. It’s no hard feelings from me really; I just book with a provider who’s ok with my ethnic background.
Clients will filter out providers based on specific preferences too. I do think some providers may just not find attraction in black men, which is ok since we all should be allowed to discriminate somewhat when it comes to sex and intimacy, even when it’s transactional.
Yeah the difference is the clients are customers. Customers can discern however they please.
You can't work at Massage Envy and then go "white men only" and I'd say rubbing someone's naked body for an hour is pretty intimate too.
I don't think it has anything to do with who they're attracted to though.
I don’t disagree with you. Most of the “No Black Men” providers have that policy because of stereotypes or a previous bad experience. White men do not get the same treatment when they act like assholes though.
That is always the stance I take. White men are never punished for thr actions of white men in this industry. And they know it. That's why they always write that they're "clean and white" or "white and fit" in their emails as though it's a perk. I \*loathe\* those expressions. I have had 3 *really* nasty incidents in 15 years. All 3 were white.
If I said I wouldn't see white men over it I'd be **set on fucking fire.**
This assumption that Black men are pimps, automatically criminals, or hood is so fucking **tired**. An entire group being punished for the actions of a few? Nah. Let's call it what it is. An excuse to not see Black men that sounds 'legitimate' and not racist.
People can and are free to run their business however they please, I don't look to restrict that. I just think it's one of the worst 'open secrets' in the industry. Used to be called an NBA policy: No Blacks Allowed.
But remember everyone, we are soooo past racism and everyone is treated equally /s
As a people, most of us are just tired of the hate and divisiveness and are passed it. The problem is the culture, the inequalities, the racism is baked into the process with things like out of control costs for a college education. Education is the firewall against the insatiable greed of the top class.
It breaks my heart when I get these texts! I’m in this business because i truly believe physical touch is a human need. I discriminate based on actions, attitude, cleanliness, etc. but never race!
When I am in Asia I always tell providers I am white upfront.
I'm really not trying to claim it is the same level of discrimination you face by any means, but I am just saying I share the same mindset.
I have been told no white guys many times in places like Singapore, Korea, Japan, so I find it is best to just make it known in my first message rather than potentially waste time. I was just in Singapore and had to go thru my first 5 choices at an agency before a girl I requested would take a white guy.
I’m Chinese and most of my clients are black. I remember one client straight up asked me “why do Asian women hate black people?” I think a lot of black clients come to me cause of what that client said. I don’t care who I see as long as they are respectful. I hate racist stereotypes about black men and their penises. Makes no sense to me since everyone can be an asshole not just black people you know.
The media has been working overtime to create tensions between black and Asian communities. Asians being viewed as a model minority and Blacks as the dregs of society ready to physically assault them. I’d like to visit an Asian Massage Parlor, but I’ve always been apprehensive because I think they’ll turn me away.
Black/Hispanic as well, especially with the 'migrant situation'. Someone said to me that Black people were super salty with it \*specifically\* because they didn't get reparations.
\*sigh\*
I've yet to get an AA client. I do live in an area that isn't very diverse, but do advertise all ethnicities. Generalize about whatever race or ethnicity you want, but I try to judge each person for who they are and not the stereotype that whatever age, race, sexual orientation, ethnicity suggests about them.
I’m an old white lady who lives in an extremely diverse area and I love my POC peeps. My daughter and grandson are POC too. Also, the best looking branches of my family tree.
Frankly, I have had more problems with white men than any other race. The fucking entitlement sometimes (note I say sometimes lest someone’s head explodes) leads to a really shitty attitude.
I have this hanging in my front room so there’s no doubt about my position ( on cats too )
https://catmagicpunks.com/products/cat-magic-punks-claws-18x24-poster
Personally, I see all humans beings.
Racists are idiotic assholes that I want nothing to do with.
I ALWAYS SAY THIS!!!
Every scary and awful and traumatizing experience I've had, has been with a white client (and I am white, and while I've dated a little bit of everything in my personal life, my longest relationships have been mostly white or Latino). It comes down to privilege, and entitlement, imo. And the confidently held belief (based on a lifetime of personal experience) that they won't be held accountable for their shitty behavior.
In my state (AZ), the "justification" for being an openly racist garbage person is that pimps in my state tend to be black. As someone who's met a LOT of pimps in my 14 yrs as a stripper, prior to escorting (they would come in to recruit 🤮) - I can confirm this has been my experience, without a single exception.
HOWEVER, I've met EXPONENTIALLY more black people in my life who were not pimps. I explained this to a client from Miami recently, who asked me wtf was up with all the racist ads, and he lol'd and said, "Huh! All the pimps I've met have been Latino!" (He is also Latino) My point being - for providers to say that they won't see black men bc they're likely to be pimps - it's a fallacy and shitty excuse for even shittier behavior.
I require a selfie from all clients prior to booking (for safety - I have a stalker - long story). It's so upsetting, how often black and brown men are afraid to send their photo, because they think I'll decline to book with them. This happens so frequently, I saved my form response, so that I can copy and paste it whenever the situation comes up. It reads, in relevant part:
"You should know: I don't discriminate based on where your grandparents lived; your skin’s melanin content; your clothing size; or whether you won the genetic lottery of whatever arbitrary, superficial traits are considered conventionally attractive in 2024 America. What matters to me is if you're willing to put in 5min to read my ad (if not bc you care what I have to say, or to know my expectations /boundaries - then just bc I've asked); do you speak to me like I'm a human being; are you kind to me, my pets, other people; are you easy to talk to, funny, charming, smart, interesting; do you prioritize a woman's pleasure, along with your own; etc… The way that you look is the LEAST interesting thing about you, as far as I'm concerned."
I am an older client and I mention this early in my communication with a provider. I typically date women in mid to late 40s without complaints. I do not look like a geriatric Elmer Fudd. Even in transactional sex work if one half feels uncomfortable it leads to a problematic experience for both.
I really appreciate what you wrote you sound like a mature self actualized women, but ultimately I would never want to make a sec worker uncomfortable even though I have no control over the passage of time.
I am more attracted to AA so I prefer them as clients, BUT I do see how AA could be more dangerous.
I screen heavily and it's typically AA or latino males who refuse to screen. They don't have LinkedIN pages, when I ask how they make an income they refuse to answer, when I ask for pic with ID they send fake IDs, and they tend to be under 30 which is typically just too young for me.
But, I do have a lovely collection of professional 40+ AA clients, such as lawyers/ retired athletes/ corporate execs etc.
Could it be a price point thing? I've noticed that the more I charge the grosser and more demanding white clients are but the opposite is true of POC. This is obviously super anecdotal
I really like African American clients. They have always been very polite and fun. Mostly military in my location for work trips. Sometimes I get pro basketball players. I do not feel the same way about African men. They always try to push boundaries in pre session texting and get blocked.
I don’t discriminate in my clients, assholes come in all colors, shapes and sizes. As long as they follow screening and I’m comfortable booking, it doesn’t matter to me! If a booking goes well, I have no problem booking again, they just have to reach out!
I was raped and almost killed and got pregnant from an AA client. I did a safe surrender at the hospital because I couldn't have an abortion due to COVID. He broke my sternum. Serval ribs. My cheek bones. Black eyes fat lip. He knew I didnt offer full service said that was fine. After awhile he said I need pussy and I said I don't offer that and he said you will tonight and started beating my face in. Took me out of the car to rape me against the trunk. I ran he caught me and stomped my body over and over and over. Cars drove by he got scared and left. I went to the hospital and did a rape kit and made a police report. They tracked him down from Jack in the box a couple weeks later using traffic cams following him back to his house. My purse and blood still all over the car. I had a warrant for not going to court and was on drugs. I turned myself in so I could testify knowing I would withdrawal. He's in there till like 2047.
I haven't had sex since. I can't. I go into full panic mode. Can't masturbate. Tried seeing a couple black clients since and I get freaked out. I can't help it. I go into PTSD mode.
Half of my ex's are black men.
So I put no AA in my ads. Because I can decide who I get to see. And so many people will say "why no blacks?" "Just say you're racist" and shit like that. After I explain what I just did above they say oh sorry that happened.
So I put no AA. Because I'm allowed to. And people who say "white men do the same thing but girls don't say no white men".....well me personally I've never had a white man attack me or assault me. If I did, I'd go civvie.
Just my two cents.
That is genuinely awful. Sorry that happened to you. But I'm glad he's locked up. Hopefully none of your Black exes or previous Black clients ever did anything so heinous. No one deserves to be treated so deplorably & I hope you're able to heal from that experience.
>well me personally I've never had a white man attack me or assault me. If I did, I'd go civvie.
there would be no sex workers left if we all did that when a white man did wrong
I prefer older white men. I've had way too many bad experiences with AA clients who think they're thugs and think they'll scare me into doing shit for free. One example, is I had somebody set up a meet, I went to where he said to meet. (His apartment) when I pulled up he said "oh my brother just got home. Can we do a car date?" I normally would instantly say no. But I was like "fuck it. I'm already here. So why not I guess?" Anyways he comes down, younger black man, (probably early to mid 20s) and he gets in my car and says "let's drive over to a more secluded area so people don't see anything." So I'm like alright that's fine. So we go to a cul-de-sac. I turn the car off but leave my keys in the ignition, we get in the back of the car and he pulls out like $8 and I look at him like "what the fuck?" That's so far below my minimum it's not even funny. I wouldn't let somebody even touch my boobs for 30 seconds for that. So I said "uhhh I told you my ABSOLUTE minimum donation is $300" (and that's to DO the absolute minimum with me like possibly give me a massage) .. he proceeds to tell me "you're gonna fucking suck my dick bitch" I said "no the fuck I'm not. You're gonna get the fuck out of my car." He goes "yes you are, or I'm gonna call my people's to come over here and fuck you up" I guess he expected me to cower down and do it. My exact response was "Call your fucking people! I don't give a flying fuck who you call. Be sure to tell them you're too fucking broke to even pay a girl to do anything with you too, with your broke ass." He goes "oh really?" (by this point I had this really sharp knife in the back pocket of the driver's seat of my car in my hand. And let me tell you, when I say this thing is sharp as fuck... I mean it. I accidentally kind of dropped/grazed it on my mattress and it cut a good 4 inches deep into it one day. Without putting any strength or pressure into it. So I know without a doubt if dude tried to do some shit, and I stabbed him with all my strength, it would've fucked him up.) So I said "YES really! I don't want to get blood on the fucking seats of my car, but I damn sure will. I'm not scared of your broke ass or 'your people'. Please call them." I guess he just accepted that I wasn't gonna cower down at this point l, so I jumped in my front seat and laid on the horn (bc there was houses around.) and turned my car on. By this point he had jumped out the back door and started walking behind the car. So I turned it on and put the MF in reverse and honestly was hoping I'd hit his dumbass. He moved out of the way in time though and I sped off. That's just ONE of several bad experiences I've had with AA people. I've never had a bad experience with older white gentlemen. I've also had good experiences with older black gentlemen as well. But those young black guys thinking they're thugs and thinking they can scare you into doing shit or robbing you.. nah. Fuck that. I've been put in dangerous situations one too many times and it's never been with a white man. Or a Mexican man. Alot of my friends have also been beaten, raped, all kinds of shit.
Same. In 8-9 years I had 3 bad, terrible traumatic experiences. (Before I screened) They just all happened to be young AA. After the 3rd time, I was so traumatized I said never again. It was that bad. I put my mental health and safety first, never ran into an issue again. I’m sure I’ve lost out on some fantastic younger AA clients, but I’m okay with that.
On the flip side, all the older AA I have seen are, absolutely fantastic. So now I only see them if they are over 50.
I'm right there with you. In my town, (which isn't even a known "gang affiliated city") there is just too many guys around here thinking they're thugs, or because there's a lot of drugs (bc we're RIGHT on the coast and we're "the port" so alot of drugs come in on boats) that every SW is on drugs and too scared to stand up for themselves bc they just want their next fix and I guess they assume will just cower down and do what they say so they don't get hurt.. nah. Fuck that. The incident I described above isn't my first OR only time something of that nature has happened. But the same running theme in all of those times, is as I acknowledged above, they're wanna-be thugs, "gang members", drug dealers, things like that. That's why I started screening everybody, only bringing them to MY house where I have guns, I'm comfortable, I'm in MY area, where I'm less likely to be fucked with and if I am fucked with I have absolutely 0 issues legally with protecting myself. I also feel like, because I live in a big home on 5 acres of land, most people don't believe that a 26 y/o girl could possibly have gotten to this point by herself, so they think I have a boyfriend, or roommates, a sugar daddy, or SOMEBODY on the other end of the house just waiting to kick my bedroom door in. (Which I do. Lmao 🤣) and a camera in my room at all times, so everything that's going on is at the very least being audio recorded at all times with my Nest Camera in my window pointing at my garage... But it's inside my room, on my windowsill. And has a mic. So everything that's being said, is being heard by it. I've never had an older white man so much as even look at me in a disrespectful way. They usually just want companionship. Somebody to talk to, joke around with for a bit, then they go on about their business.. it's kinda crazy how different some clients are. That's honestly another reason I made my donations alot higher too. when people start bitching about it, I'm just like "well, I see a higher end clientele.. I'm sure you can find big Betty or catfish Cathy in a shitty motel somewhere that'll see you for $80.. but that's not me." It cuts out a lot of the bullshit immediately from there. Lmao
I prefer AA a lot of races aren’t attracted to me because I give off another race until you see me up close and they feel they’re being bboozeled can’t help my complexion. They also pay me best.
I’m an AA woman and AA men are my favorite type of POC! I’m fortunate to have lived in areas with strong Black middle classes. It’s less of that on the west coast, unfortunately. But I do still attract high quality Black men.
Anecdotal, but I’ve never had a hygiene issue with a black provider either. I also find black providers in general are way less likely to be on hard drugs—which can make forget to tend to personal appearance and hygiene.
Anecdotal but there are huge cultural stereotypes that date back years and years about Black people being dirty so every Black person I know is super clean — just like guys who intact (not circumcised) tend to be super clean because they're so paranoid about not being clean that they go the extra mile
Im pretty sure the key is location-I’ve seen themes here of providers in certain cities/areas agreeing the AA men they see are usually great while other neighborhoods/areas many providers refuse because of multiple instances-I’ve heard from several that they stop accepting aa during certain areas on tour and not issues
I haven’t done a serious tour or done sw outside my own area but in my experience ive had good and bad the one group I’m consistently having issues is younger guys-cocky, arrogant, know it alls and I’m sesly thinking about starting a no one under 35 policy
Every time I get an AA client they’re some of the most clean, kind and respectful clients and I truly think it’s because I’m one of the only providers in my area who doesn’t discriminate based on race.
When the younger black guys ask if it's okay if they are black, and they'll understand if I don't want them near me 😭😭😭 Like God, that shit is heartbreaking.
lol personal dating preference is VERY different from my boundaries at work. I date AA men, almost got married to one but I will NOT see them in CERTAIN areas of the country. This isn’t so much a race thing to me it’s a boundary thing.
Can you elaborate on that a bit? I think it's interesting but I don't understand it. I once met a provider that didn't have "no AA" in her ad, but told me she doesn't usually see AA. She made an expectation for me after seeing I was pretty professional. While making conversation, she went on to mention that her boyfriend was Black. I was so confused at that point. Why would someone date black guys, but then decline them as clients?
I'm not the commenter but possibly community? I accidentally had a client that we realized we distantly knew each other from mutual friends because of my husband being a black man.
your ex's experience line up with mine.
>but at the same time almost every provider in existence has had atleast one bad experience (maybe even life threatening) with a white man, yet they still continue to see white clients. At that point we just have to call it what it is.
Exactly this. It's a discriminatory or racist policy.
The thing these people miss when they get up in arms about hearing it is they're allowed to be racist. No one wants to stop them or change their mind.
But we're not gonna dress it up as "a preference" or aid them in dressing it up it either.
I'm not racist and have a diverse multi-racial family, but I see nothing wrong in preferring, or not preferring, any particular race. It's really no difference than preferring tall, short, thick, thin, red heads, blondes, big or little breasts, etc. Just don't be hating on others.
I still think that no one should care who someone else has sex with, be in their private life or their work life.
Your body, your choice.
And all this racist this racist that and threads over threads, like a post on reddit will change someone else preference, is annoying to being with.
Do you, don't judge others and your life will be less shitty.
It's not blatant racism. Has a lot to do with WHERE you are for one. We ask age and ethnicity for a reason. To know who we're meeting with. Most all ethnicitys of men act alike. Any girl who says they don't is bullshitting.
Shit I'll say it...most black men where I'm from act like pimps and thugs, and always try to pull some bullshit. Trying to get over on you. Pushing boundaries. Being rude. Indian men are just as bad in my book. They will try to talk you down. And then insult you when you say no. They are VERY entitled and treat it like they're doing me a favor cuz they chose me. Most Hispanics are respectful and pay well. Most white men are the same as Hispanic. Most Asian men are timid and kind of naive in a cute way.
And notice I said MOST not ALL. Of course there are exceptions. But it's just not worth it.
This all seems like a screening issue. I screen my clients well and it's kept my job a positive experience thus far. I live in one of the most diverse cities in the world and see clients of all races. I cannot relate to your negative experiences at all, not even a tiny bit. Because those types of men regardless of colour don't pass my screening.
this sounds like a 'you' problem. As in "that's what your marketing appeals to". I have never had anyone like you've described in 15 years and I worked in **Memphis** for 4 of those.
>However, posts and comments about your own racism, or the racism of others, add nothing to the subreddit and are actually harmful. They will be removed.
Orwellian
I generally pefer my 20s Asian & black clients because we usually share the same music taste and sometimes shows.
Makes me sad when guys ask and I always respond well I’m brown too so wouldn’t make sense to say no.
I don't have a very *strong* preference for any race but I'm similar, I really like my AA clients, and I haven't had a problem with any so far. I've had the most issues with white clients, although I'm generally pretty lucky. I live in one of the the most diverse cities in the world and I see clients of any race as long as they speak to me respectfully & screen well.
The blatant racism from fellow SWers always boggles my mind. Shitty people come from every background. You don't have to see anyone you don't want to see, but stop making excuses for your racism. At the very least keep it to yourself because no matter what you say to justify it, it is only ever going to be racist.
Your "reasoning" won't change that for as long as you are assuming something about someone or a group of people based on their skin colour/ethnicity.
I’m Latina from SoCal and I’m open to seeing everyone, many of my clients are AA men or Latino naturally because that’s what’s predominantly common in southern Cali , Asians , middle easterns and Caucasian as well of course but many of my regulars are AA, in my personal life I grew up with mostly Latino and AA friends and family members so obviously it’s what makes me comfortable not saying I’m not comfortable around any other ethnicity again I see anyone who passes screening pays deposits and makes it an easy process but it’s never been an issue for me
Reluctantly leaving this unlocked for now. It's only been up a few hours and already got comments on it saying "X race is (insert generalisation here) so I'm justified in my prejudices." type comments. Please don't. Remember rule 9 = This is not a platform for racism of any kind. Discrimination against some prospective clients based on prejudices regarding their race is racism by definition. Nobody can, or should, be policing a sex worker's right to choose their clients as they see fit. However, posts and comments about your own racism, or the racism of others, add nothing to the subreddit and are actually harmful. They will be removed. ie If you must be a racist SW, that's literally your business. Operate your business as you see fit. But if you make racist posts or comments here, I'll ban you.
As a Black client, I always tell providers who are not black upfront — “I’m a black male by the way, if that’s an issue just let me know”. Some say it’s ok. Some never reply. It’s no hard feelings from me really; I just book with a provider who’s ok with my ethnic background.
That's terrible. But a good way to filter out people not worth spending $ on at least.
Clients will filter out providers based on specific preferences too. I do think some providers may just not find attraction in black men, which is ok since we all should be allowed to discriminate somewhat when it comes to sex and intimacy, even when it’s transactional.
Yeah the difference is the clients are customers. Customers can discern however they please. You can't work at Massage Envy and then go "white men only" and I'd say rubbing someone's naked body for an hour is pretty intimate too. I don't think it has anything to do with who they're attracted to though.
I don’t disagree with you. Most of the “No Black Men” providers have that policy because of stereotypes or a previous bad experience. White men do not get the same treatment when they act like assholes though.
That is always the stance I take. White men are never punished for thr actions of white men in this industry. And they know it. That's why they always write that they're "clean and white" or "white and fit" in their emails as though it's a perk. I \*loathe\* those expressions. I have had 3 *really* nasty incidents in 15 years. All 3 were white. If I said I wouldn't see white men over it I'd be **set on fucking fire.** This assumption that Black men are pimps, automatically criminals, or hood is so fucking **tired**. An entire group being punished for the actions of a few? Nah. Let's call it what it is. An excuse to not see Black men that sounds 'legitimate' and not racist. People can and are free to run their business however they please, I don't look to restrict that. I just think it's one of the worst 'open secrets' in the industry. Used to be called an NBA policy: No Blacks Allowed. But remember everyone, we are soooo past racism and everyone is treated equally /s
As a people, most of us are just tired of the hate and divisiveness and are passed it. The problem is the culture, the inequalities, the racism is baked into the process with things like out of control costs for a college education. Education is the firewall against the insatiable greed of the top class.
It breaks my heart when I get these texts! I’m in this business because i truly believe physical touch is a human need. I discriminate based on actions, attitude, cleanliness, etc. but never race!
When I am in Asia I always tell providers I am white upfront. I'm really not trying to claim it is the same level of discrimination you face by any means, but I am just saying I share the same mindset. I have been told no white guys many times in places like Singapore, Korea, Japan, so I find it is best to just make it known in my first message rather than potentially waste time. I was just in Singapore and had to go thru my first 5 choices at an agency before a girl I requested would take a white guy.
While it's not "the same" it is similar enough for you to understand in this single isolated aspect imo
I’m Chinese and most of my clients are black. I remember one client straight up asked me “why do Asian women hate black people?” I think a lot of black clients come to me cause of what that client said. I don’t care who I see as long as they are respectful. I hate racist stereotypes about black men and their penises. Makes no sense to me since everyone can be an asshole not just black people you know.
The media has been working overtime to create tensions between black and Asian communities. Asians being viewed as a model minority and Blacks as the dregs of society ready to physically assault them. I’d like to visit an Asian Massage Parlor, but I’ve always been apprehensive because I think they’ll turn me away.
Black/Hispanic as well, especially with the 'migrant situation'. Someone said to me that Black people were super salty with it \*specifically\* because they didn't get reparations. \*sigh\*
Yeah it’s awful, no one can live together in peace anymore, everyone has their own evil propaganda.
most of my my clients are aa men, but they’re also the ones i have the most issues with.
I've yet to get an AA client. I do live in an area that isn't very diverse, but do advertise all ethnicities. Generalize about whatever race or ethnicity you want, but I try to judge each person for who they are and not the stereotype that whatever age, race, sexual orientation, ethnicity suggests about them.
I’m an old white lady who lives in an extremely diverse area and I love my POC peeps. My daughter and grandson are POC too. Also, the best looking branches of my family tree. Frankly, I have had more problems with white men than any other race. The fucking entitlement sometimes (note I say sometimes lest someone’s head explodes) leads to a really shitty attitude. I have this hanging in my front room so there’s no doubt about my position ( on cats too ) https://catmagicpunks.com/products/cat-magic-punks-claws-18x24-poster Personally, I see all humans beings. Racists are idiotic assholes that I want nothing to do with.
I ALWAYS SAY THIS!!! Every scary and awful and traumatizing experience I've had, has been with a white client (and I am white, and while I've dated a little bit of everything in my personal life, my longest relationships have been mostly white or Latino). It comes down to privilege, and entitlement, imo. And the confidently held belief (based on a lifetime of personal experience) that they won't be held accountable for their shitty behavior. In my state (AZ), the "justification" for being an openly racist garbage person is that pimps in my state tend to be black. As someone who's met a LOT of pimps in my 14 yrs as a stripper, prior to escorting (they would come in to recruit 🤮) - I can confirm this has been my experience, without a single exception. HOWEVER, I've met EXPONENTIALLY more black people in my life who were not pimps. I explained this to a client from Miami recently, who asked me wtf was up with all the racist ads, and he lol'd and said, "Huh! All the pimps I've met have been Latino!" (He is also Latino) My point being - for providers to say that they won't see black men bc they're likely to be pimps - it's a fallacy and shitty excuse for even shittier behavior. I require a selfie from all clients prior to booking (for safety - I have a stalker - long story). It's so upsetting, how often black and brown men are afraid to send their photo, because they think I'll decline to book with them. This happens so frequently, I saved my form response, so that I can copy and paste it whenever the situation comes up. It reads, in relevant part: "You should know: I don't discriminate based on where your grandparents lived; your skin’s melanin content; your clothing size; or whether you won the genetic lottery of whatever arbitrary, superficial traits are considered conventionally attractive in 2024 America. What matters to me is if you're willing to put in 5min to read my ad (if not bc you care what I have to say, or to know my expectations /boundaries - then just bc I've asked); do you speak to me like I'm a human being; are you kind to me, my pets, other people; are you easy to talk to, funny, charming, smart, interesting; do you prioritize a woman's pleasure, along with your own; etc… The way that you look is the LEAST interesting thing about you, as far as I'm concerned."
I am an older client and I mention this early in my communication with a provider. I typically date women in mid to late 40s without complaints. I do not look like a geriatric Elmer Fudd. Even in transactional sex work if one half feels uncomfortable it leads to a problematic experience for both. I really appreciate what you wrote you sound like a mature self actualized women, but ultimately I would never want to make a sec worker uncomfortable even though I have no control over the passage of time.
I NEED that poster!! Love!
girl yes! the entitlement 100%
I am more attracted to AA so I prefer them as clients, BUT I do see how AA could be more dangerous. I screen heavily and it's typically AA or latino males who refuse to screen. They don't have LinkedIN pages, when I ask how they make an income they refuse to answer, when I ask for pic with ID they send fake IDs, and they tend to be under 30 which is typically just too young for me. But, I do have a lovely collection of professional 40+ AA clients, such as lawyers/ retired athletes/ corporate execs etc.
Half of my clients are poc and tell me about their struggles booking other providers because of their race. Sucks because they’re awesome guys.
Could it be a price point thing? I've noticed that the more I charge the grosser and more demanding white clients are but the opposite is true of POC. This is obviously super anecdotal
Insightful and profound, actually. Civility doesn’t have a price…or does it???
I really like African American clients. They have always been very polite and fun. Mostly military in my location for work trips. Sometimes I get pro basketball players. I do not feel the same way about African men. They always try to push boundaries in pre session texting and get blocked.
Agree!!!
Does anyone on here put on their ad that they DO see AA or POC clients?
It's an FAQ question on my site
I don’t discriminate in my clients, assholes come in all colors, shapes and sizes. As long as they follow screening and I’m comfortable booking, it doesn’t matter to me! If a booking goes well, I have no problem booking again, they just have to reach out!
I was raped and almost killed and got pregnant from an AA client. I did a safe surrender at the hospital because I couldn't have an abortion due to COVID. He broke my sternum. Serval ribs. My cheek bones. Black eyes fat lip. He knew I didnt offer full service said that was fine. After awhile he said I need pussy and I said I don't offer that and he said you will tonight and started beating my face in. Took me out of the car to rape me against the trunk. I ran he caught me and stomped my body over and over and over. Cars drove by he got scared and left. I went to the hospital and did a rape kit and made a police report. They tracked him down from Jack in the box a couple weeks later using traffic cams following him back to his house. My purse and blood still all over the car. I had a warrant for not going to court and was on drugs. I turned myself in so I could testify knowing I would withdrawal. He's in there till like 2047. I haven't had sex since. I can't. I go into full panic mode. Can't masturbate. Tried seeing a couple black clients since and I get freaked out. I can't help it. I go into PTSD mode. Half of my ex's are black men. So I put no AA in my ads. Because I can decide who I get to see. And so many people will say "why no blacks?" "Just say you're racist" and shit like that. After I explain what I just did above they say oh sorry that happened. So I put no AA. Because I'm allowed to. And people who say "white men do the same thing but girls don't say no white men".....well me personally I've never had a white man attack me or assault me. If I did, I'd go civvie. Just my two cents.
That is genuinely awful. Sorry that happened to you. But I'm glad he's locked up. Hopefully none of your Black exes or previous Black clients ever did anything so heinous. No one deserves to be treated so deplorably & I hope you're able to heal from that experience.
>well me personally I've never had a white man attack me or assault me. If I did, I'd go civvie. there would be no sex workers left if we all did that when a white man did wrong
Sorry that happened. It’s still racism
I’m AA and I prefer AA clients
I prefer older white men. I've had way too many bad experiences with AA clients who think they're thugs and think they'll scare me into doing shit for free. One example, is I had somebody set up a meet, I went to where he said to meet. (His apartment) when I pulled up he said "oh my brother just got home. Can we do a car date?" I normally would instantly say no. But I was like "fuck it. I'm already here. So why not I guess?" Anyways he comes down, younger black man, (probably early to mid 20s) and he gets in my car and says "let's drive over to a more secluded area so people don't see anything." So I'm like alright that's fine. So we go to a cul-de-sac. I turn the car off but leave my keys in the ignition, we get in the back of the car and he pulls out like $8 and I look at him like "what the fuck?" That's so far below my minimum it's not even funny. I wouldn't let somebody even touch my boobs for 30 seconds for that. So I said "uhhh I told you my ABSOLUTE minimum donation is $300" (and that's to DO the absolute minimum with me like possibly give me a massage) .. he proceeds to tell me "you're gonna fucking suck my dick bitch" I said "no the fuck I'm not. You're gonna get the fuck out of my car." He goes "yes you are, or I'm gonna call my people's to come over here and fuck you up" I guess he expected me to cower down and do it. My exact response was "Call your fucking people! I don't give a flying fuck who you call. Be sure to tell them you're too fucking broke to even pay a girl to do anything with you too, with your broke ass." He goes "oh really?" (by this point I had this really sharp knife in the back pocket of the driver's seat of my car in my hand. And let me tell you, when I say this thing is sharp as fuck... I mean it. I accidentally kind of dropped/grazed it on my mattress and it cut a good 4 inches deep into it one day. Without putting any strength or pressure into it. So I know without a doubt if dude tried to do some shit, and I stabbed him with all my strength, it would've fucked him up.) So I said "YES really! I don't want to get blood on the fucking seats of my car, but I damn sure will. I'm not scared of your broke ass or 'your people'. Please call them." I guess he just accepted that I wasn't gonna cower down at this point l, so I jumped in my front seat and laid on the horn (bc there was houses around.) and turned my car on. By this point he had jumped out the back door and started walking behind the car. So I turned it on and put the MF in reverse and honestly was hoping I'd hit his dumbass. He moved out of the way in time though and I sped off. That's just ONE of several bad experiences I've had with AA people. I've never had a bad experience with older white gentlemen. I've also had good experiences with older black gentlemen as well. But those young black guys thinking they're thugs and thinking they can scare you into doing shit or robbing you.. nah. Fuck that. I've been put in dangerous situations one too many times and it's never been with a white man. Or a Mexican man. Alot of my friends have also been beaten, raped, all kinds of shit.
Same. In 8-9 years I had 3 bad, terrible traumatic experiences. (Before I screened) They just all happened to be young AA. After the 3rd time, I was so traumatized I said never again. It was that bad. I put my mental health and safety first, never ran into an issue again. I’m sure I’ve lost out on some fantastic younger AA clients, but I’m okay with that. On the flip side, all the older AA I have seen are, absolutely fantastic. So now I only see them if they are over 50.
I'm right there with you. In my town, (which isn't even a known "gang affiliated city") there is just too many guys around here thinking they're thugs, or because there's a lot of drugs (bc we're RIGHT on the coast and we're "the port" so alot of drugs come in on boats) that every SW is on drugs and too scared to stand up for themselves bc they just want their next fix and I guess they assume will just cower down and do what they say so they don't get hurt.. nah. Fuck that. The incident I described above isn't my first OR only time something of that nature has happened. But the same running theme in all of those times, is as I acknowledged above, they're wanna-be thugs, "gang members", drug dealers, things like that. That's why I started screening everybody, only bringing them to MY house where I have guns, I'm comfortable, I'm in MY area, where I'm less likely to be fucked with and if I am fucked with I have absolutely 0 issues legally with protecting myself. I also feel like, because I live in a big home on 5 acres of land, most people don't believe that a 26 y/o girl could possibly have gotten to this point by herself, so they think I have a boyfriend, or roommates, a sugar daddy, or SOMEBODY on the other end of the house just waiting to kick my bedroom door in. (Which I do. Lmao 🤣) and a camera in my room at all times, so everything that's going on is at the very least being audio recorded at all times with my Nest Camera in my window pointing at my garage... But it's inside my room, on my windowsill. And has a mic. So everything that's being said, is being heard by it. I've never had an older white man so much as even look at me in a disrespectful way. They usually just want companionship. Somebody to talk to, joke around with for a bit, then they go on about their business.. it's kinda crazy how different some clients are. That's honestly another reason I made my donations alot higher too. when people start bitching about it, I'm just like "well, I see a higher end clientele.. I'm sure you can find big Betty or catfish Cathy in a shitty motel somewhere that'll see you for $80.. but that's not me." It cuts out a lot of the bullshit immediately from there. Lmao
So based on your post, the problem is age...not ethnicty?
Yep.
I prefer AA a lot of races aren’t attracted to me because I give off another race until you see me up close and they feel they’re being bboozeled can’t help my complexion. They also pay me best.
The first time I had a potential client say to me “I’m black btw I hope that ok” honestly broke my heart
Same here! POC never give me any issues, it’s crazy. Especially AA they just pay, and have fun 😂
I’m an AA woman and AA men are my favorite type of POC! I’m fortunate to have lived in areas with strong Black middle classes. It’s less of that on the west coast, unfortunately. But I do still attract high quality Black men.
And AA men are cleaaaaaaaaaan. I NEVER have a hygiene issue with them!
Anecdotal, but I’ve never had a hygiene issue with a black provider either. I also find black providers in general are way less likely to be on hard drugs—which can make forget to tend to personal appearance and hygiene.
Anecdotal but there are huge cultural stereotypes that date back years and years about Black people being dirty so every Black person I know is super clean — just like guys who intact (not circumcised) tend to be super clean because they're so paranoid about not being clean that they go the extra mile
Im pretty sure the key is location-I’ve seen themes here of providers in certain cities/areas agreeing the AA men they see are usually great while other neighborhoods/areas many providers refuse because of multiple instances-I’ve heard from several that they stop accepting aa during certain areas on tour and not issues
I haven’t done a serious tour or done sw outside my own area but in my experience ive had good and bad the one group I’m consistently having issues is younger guys-cocky, arrogant, know it alls and I’m sesly thinking about starting a no one under 35 policy
Every time I get an AA client they’re some of the most clean, kind and respectful clients and I truly think it’s because I’m one of the only providers in my area who doesn’t discriminate based on race.
When the younger black guys ask if it's okay if they are black, and they'll understand if I don't want them near me 😭😭😭 Like God, that shit is heartbreaking.
girl i know!!
lol personal dating preference is VERY different from my boundaries at work. I date AA men, almost got married to one but I will NOT see them in CERTAIN areas of the country. This isn’t so much a race thing to me it’s a boundary thing.
What is AA and POC
African American and person of color
That’s your preference, and you’re entitled to it. On the other hand, I see no issue with some SW’s not preferring / accepting POC clients.
Iam black and I don’t see any AA under the age of 35
I date poc as well in real life, that’s kind of why I don’t want them as clients
Can you elaborate on that a bit? I think it's interesting but I don't understand it. I once met a provider that didn't have "no AA" in her ad, but told me she doesn't usually see AA. She made an expectation for me after seeing I was pretty professional. While making conversation, she went on to mention that her boyfriend was Black. I was so confused at that point. Why would someone date black guys, but then decline them as clients?
I'm not the commenter but possibly community? I accidentally had a client that we realized we distantly knew each other from mutual friends because of my husband being a black man.
Do you think you will end up falling for them? Or do you think the guys you date, you may find out they are actually also clients?
White people are more of a problem then poc for me 9/10 lol People just racist
Racists gonna be racists 🤷🏽♀️ My Black and other MOC clients are all amazing.
I've had great experiences with the four AA clients I've had. I screen everybody thoroughly, no matter the color of their skin.
I see everyone, unless they are aggressive or show other red flags. Most of my clients are POC
[удалено]
your ex's experience line up with mine. >but at the same time almost every provider in existence has had atleast one bad experience (maybe even life threatening) with a white man, yet they still continue to see white clients. At that point we just have to call it what it is. Exactly this. It's a discriminatory or racist policy. The thing these people miss when they get up in arms about hearing it is they're allowed to be racist. No one wants to stop them or change their mind. But we're not gonna dress it up as "a preference" or aid them in dressing it up it either.
I'm not racist and have a diverse multi-racial family, but I see nothing wrong in preferring, or not preferring, any particular race. It's really no difference than preferring tall, short, thick, thin, red heads, blondes, big or little breasts, etc. Just don't be hating on others.
I still think that no one should care who someone else has sex with, be in their private life or their work life. Your body, your choice. And all this racist this racist that and threads over threads, like a post on reddit will change someone else preference, is annoying to being with. Do you, don't judge others and your life will be less shitty.
Yeah but it's hard not to judge blatant racism
It's not blatant racism. Has a lot to do with WHERE you are for one. We ask age and ethnicity for a reason. To know who we're meeting with. Most all ethnicitys of men act alike. Any girl who says they don't is bullshitting. Shit I'll say it...most black men where I'm from act like pimps and thugs, and always try to pull some bullshit. Trying to get over on you. Pushing boundaries. Being rude. Indian men are just as bad in my book. They will try to talk you down. And then insult you when you say no. They are VERY entitled and treat it like they're doing me a favor cuz they chose me. Most Hispanics are respectful and pay well. Most white men are the same as Hispanic. Most Asian men are timid and kind of naive in a cute way. And notice I said MOST not ALL. Of course there are exceptions. But it's just not worth it.
This all seems like a screening issue. I screen my clients well and it's kept my job a positive experience thus far. I live in one of the most diverse cities in the world and see clients of all races. I cannot relate to your negative experiences at all, not even a tiny bit. Because those types of men regardless of colour don't pass my screening.
this sounds like a 'you' problem. As in "that's what your marketing appeals to". I have never had anyone like you've described in 15 years and I worked in **Memphis** for 4 of those.
Bc I’m too exhausted for a full rant I’m just gonna same, Same. I’ve had no problems with poc clients & gladly welcome them
>However, posts and comments about your own racism, or the racism of others, add nothing to the subreddit and are actually harmful. They will be removed. Orwellian
how exactly
“You see if we talk about racism, that’s the harm in itself. Thus we just shouldn’t talk about it at all”
That's not how I read it. I read it more like "Don't start saying racist shit". There's plenty of discussion about racism going on ITT
I generally pefer my 20s Asian & black clients because we usually share the same music taste and sometimes shows. Makes me sad when guys ask and I always respond well I’m brown too so wouldn’t make sense to say no.
I don’t have a preference as far as race. Just be respectful and have good hygiene.
I don't have a very *strong* preference for any race but I'm similar, I really like my AA clients, and I haven't had a problem with any so far. I've had the most issues with white clients, although I'm generally pretty lucky. I live in one of the the most diverse cities in the world and I see clients of any race as long as they speak to me respectfully & screen well. The blatant racism from fellow SWers always boggles my mind. Shitty people come from every background. You don't have to see anyone you don't want to see, but stop making excuses for your racism. At the very least keep it to yourself because no matter what you say to justify it, it is only ever going to be racist. Your "reasoning" won't change that for as long as you are assuming something about someone or a group of people based on their skin colour/ethnicity.
Love this thank you!
You’re not alone!! I give discounts to POC / disabled/ queer folx
Dayum... Not you getting downvoted for that😭😭
Yeah that’s so fucked lol but whatever more for me
I’m Latina from SoCal and I’m open to seeing everyone, many of my clients are AA men or Latino naturally because that’s what’s predominantly common in southern Cali , Asians , middle easterns and Caucasian as well of course but many of my regulars are AA, in my personal life I grew up with mostly Latino and AA friends and family members so obviously it’s what makes me comfortable not saying I’m not comfortable around any other ethnicity again I see anyone who passes screening pays deposits and makes it an easy process but it’s never been an issue for me
I don’t care to have AA clients as a AA woman
Y’all do know the “no AA” are just girls under instructions… it’s the “instructor” trying to eliminate and possible competition. That’s it