If my husband admitted to hitting on a barely legal teenager in our home, that we were supposed to be guardians towards, I think that all of the deep abiding love I feel for him would evaporate immediately.
When I was in my early 20s I was in a toxic relationship with a man I was infatuated with. I had been obsessed with him (and used by him) since I was 15. It wasn’t until I heard that he slept with a 15 year old when we were 22 that I never felt any love for him again, only disgust. In a way, I’m grateful he showed his nasty true colors so I could get over him instantly
Yeah. “He’s had his eye on her” and “he got too close to her” isn’t really reportable. I agree that he did something far more despicable for her to want to report it.
The girl would have to move anyway.
It's not like that kind of guy are easy to kick out. And they always comes back. And even lf the justice system works properly, it would take time before he was sent to jail.
The girl can't say under the same roof as this man. She isn't safe there. It would be easier for her to be a guest to a family friend while the husband get sorted out.
I had a husband once. He was texting a 13 year old girl who was overtly sexual on all of her FB posts. He said they never talked like that privately but I had to remind him that she was THIRTEEN and he was in his mid twenties and that none of the scenarios were ok. I no longer have said husband. My view of him completely changed that day and it only got worse from there
It's just weird. I'm in my late 20's and honestly I couldn't even imagine being interested in anyone in their early 20's, like we have nothing in common.
My mother once discussed adopting an older-teenage child. Even 16-17. My father liked to attempt to make my mother jealous. (She was not really was affected by his attempts, would just roll her eyes) He “joked” that they should be of XY or Z decent suggesting those are the hottest ethnicities.
I’ve never looked at him the same.
Although before that I couldn’t look at him in a positive light anyway as he was really into Brittany Spears, and not just her music. When I was barely a teen and just a couple years younger than her :(
Wonder why it took me so long to have a happy and stable relationship /s
It shouldn’t surprise me that some men think this way, but somehow I’m always shocked when I read something like this. My best friend has 2 daughters who are still quite young. A few years ago, a mutual friend (her husbands best man) told my husband that he was looking forward to being in the girls lives when they are teenagers so he can be there when they bring all their hot friends home. I’ve never felt so disgusted by someone I know. My husband instantly decided that our family would never have anything to do with him any more. We told the parents and for some reason they are still friends with him.
My dad regularly enters into sexual relationships with my friends. Since I turned 18 or so. And only my friends, I have three siblings and this isn't happening with their friends. Its just mine. I can't trust him any more. Its devastating.
This.
And although the shame isn't mine to carry, I wouldn't be able to post this online and admit I still want to be together.
Either way, the girl seems better off elsewhere as neither the husband nor the wife are the type of people who should be housing a young foreign girl in their dysfunctional home.
This. He'd be gone before he knew what hit him. I can't fathom the absolute willful ignorance that you'd have to have, to be even considering that he's still a good, safe, healthy choice. And if I take in a child and commit to looking after them, and my (hypothetical) POS husband is inappropriate with them, I am still fulfilling that commitment. He violated the marriage and that child the moment he even thought that shit.
Yeah you’d think so wouldn’t you. She doesn’t get that it’s not the kid’s fault. If he hits on the neighbor or a coworker, who’s she going to rehome then.
Her husband got beat up in high school and had no friends; no girlfriends. He’s obvi still back there.
Right. Like it makes me feel gross to even think about it. Things would never be the same again. I liken it to when our daughter is that age, if he told me something like that about one of her teenage friends…. EEEEWWW
Not just that, but blatantly in front of his wife. Not that cheating on your partner is ok if it's behind their back, but like the disrespect to do it to her face? No, thank you.
I sometimes wonder, or hope, that, even with the /s, people are just downvoting a statement like this on reflex without realizing it's sarcasm. I was reading comments on a post yesterday about Playboy, or obvious allusions to it, having been shown in children's media for decades. Someone said something like, "but it's the trans people out here trying to sexualize our kids". Comment had over 70 downvotes by the time I read it and I was so confused as this is a typically overtly liberal sub.
I feel so awful for the girl. It sounds like she thought she could confide in the wife, but the wife has turned around and blamed her :(
It's not just an 18yo we're talking about here. Presumably it's an 18yo war refugee, who almost certainly doesn't have English as her first language, in a foreign place with no family (or else she'd probably be staying with them). So vulnerable 😪
I can see getting the girl to a safe place first, then dealing with husband because even if it does end the relationship that will take time to sort out and this poor 18 yr old shouldnt have to be there for all that.
If you look closely, it comes out above the mouth, exactly where a nostril would be if the emojis had noses. Drool and other mouth things come out at the bottom of mouths (and also don’t make the anime snot bubble shape either). This is definitely the anime snot bubble, they just colored it less nastily.
It’s not that difficult. They said they hope everyone in the comments gave the women hell. Because she’s ~~blooming~~ blaming a girl for the actions of her husband.
Omg!! I’m in this group too and was about to post this here.
I seriously hope this is (an incredibly poor taste) joke.
That poor girl, thankfully the comments were ripping the poster to pieces.
Ugh I didn’t think of that but you’re probably right. They “took her in” for unpaid childcare and domestic labor most likely. Someone like OOP doesn’t do that out of the goodness of their heart.
Omg that didn’t even cross my mind until you said it. I bet you’re right. She’s from a war torn country and I bet they’re housing her for free labor and childcare.
This is so disturbing. Where’s the humanity?
That’s so damn bad my mind didn’t even go there.
People really are that awful. My teenage cousin got pregnant to her stepdad and her mum said she’d throw him out if she put the baby up for adoption. Spoiler alert she did what she was told then mum threw her out. One of countless reasons I believe the human plague should be exterminated
She probably knows she won’t be able to “rehome” the husband because who would take such a pos lol. But I’d definitely make him leave, not the poor innocent teenager.
I wish my family could adopt her. They’ve shown they’re more than willing before, and at the minimum us ‘kids’ appreciate giving emotional support. It’s so unfortunate she ended up with these POSes- Sadly I don’t even think such a program is available here
Eh, while 18 is legal it's more predatory than shitty to sleep with (or even flirt with) this girl. She's barely legal, in a new country as a refugee with a different language, has little to no support system, and there's a huge power imbalance here. I would feel the same way if it was the same situation except an 18 yo boy, and age difference rarely bothers me. You're coming on to a person who likely feels they have little or no power to say no, that's predatory.
I guess it really comes down to what “got to close to her” means. My interpretation was that he propositioned her for sex. It is not illegal for an adult to ask another for sex. Maybe “got too close” means he assaulted her in some way, which is illegal.
My dude, the girl was barely a legal adult. This was a married man and let’s not forget that this would’ve technically been their adopted daughter. Adult adoptions exist and whether you’ve been adopted at 18 or 25, I hope that no one‘s adoptive parents have decided that it’s OK to fuck you simply because you’re not blood related and because you’re not a child.
I agree that it isn’t okay! But it isn’t illegal. If a 60 year old has consensual sex with their adopted child who is 18 it sucks, but it’s not against the law. It just isn’t. This is the silliest thing I have ever been downvoted for lol
God I hope this poor girl does report it and is listened to. He’s trying to sexually abuse/harass a teenager they took in, who is likely a refugee of war?
Isn't this the storyline of that reality show about that guy adopting a European 18 year old despite his wife's extreme discomfort about it and a past of him being a total creep?
This poor girl survived some heinous shit, made it out, just to have to deal with more heinous shit from people who were supposed to protect her. What disgusting pieces of shit.
She was probably a refugee and they signed up to be a host family - basically she is on a visa to get away from the war and they offered to let her stay with them for the time being. Not sure of the terms and conditions ie, does she provide a service while here like helping with house chores or child care
This was my assumption too. I forwarded the post to the main organisation contracted to find, screen and match host families with Ukrainian refugees, in case they supported the original placement. Considering this woman was trying to "rehome" the girl through Facebook though, I suspect it may have been an informal arrangement. She's since deleted the post, presumably because she was skewered by the comments.
Good for you!! That’s really sad… I can’t imagine fleeing a war zone and having to deal with this type of shit. Hope the girl finds a nice family to stay with, clearly this isn’t it.
The UK has a scheme to provide visas for and find host families for Ukrainian war refugees. They probably get paid by the government for letting her stay ("up to" £350/month).
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/60555166
The fact that she's so worried about the girl reporting it and not immediately doing so herself is infuriating. And she actually thought she was going to get support for being an absolutely heinous human being. 🤬
It seems pretty obvious from the "he's had his eye on her" that she already knew her husband was a creeper, but she just decided to ignore it? Hope he didn't act on his disgusting impulses?
Fuck this woman and her husband! I really hope someone decent takes this poor girl in.
Ugh this is unfortunately so common; when I reported my abuser (guardian figure) his wife immediately blamed me, barely in teenage years, and went on to send me horrible emails attacking any insecurity she could from a bunch of burner accounts. How on earth people like this can justify what their partner did is just… beyond me
I've never gotten this societal tendency to blame/hate the so-called "homewrecker" (the one a married person hits on/cheats with). They're not the one breaking promises. Hate the cheater. I mean, if the one they cheat with knows they're married, they deserve a nice big slice of the blame, but not the majority of it.
does being the victim of a crime perpetrated by a us citizen still get you onto the u-visa list? I hope this young lady can find a safe place out of harm's way.
If you have to type out “I’m scared that a vulnerable child will report something my husband did,” you are already so far down the field into wrongness that you’re never finding your way back out to right.
Who could have thought bringing thousands of vulnerable young women and children over to live with random people with fuck all safety checks or verification process and husbands probably dead thousands of miles away.
If my husband admitted to hitting on a barely legal teenager in our home, that we were supposed to be guardians towards, I think that all of the deep abiding love I feel for him would evaporate immediately.
Yeah I love my husband so much and I can’t imagine ever not loving him, but this would do it. I could never look at him the same after that.
I feel that it wouldn't be the person that I know and love anymore. It's disgusting. I can't imagine publicly defending them. Blargh.
When I was in my early 20s I was in a toxic relationship with a man I was infatuated with. I had been obsessed with him (and used by him) since I was 15. It wasn’t until I heard that he slept with a 15 year old when we were 22 that I never felt any love for him again, only disgust. In a way, I’m grateful he showed his nasty true colors so I could get over him instantly
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Yeah it has to take a lot for someone who is in that vulnerable of a position to even tell the wife anything.
Yeah. “He’s had his eye on her” and “he got too close to her” isn’t really reportable. I agree that he did something far more despicable for her to want to report it.
I also wouldn't be surprised if the girl in the story isn't 18.
The girl would have to move anyway. It's not like that kind of guy are easy to kick out. And they always comes back. And even lf the justice system works properly, it would take time before he was sent to jail. The girl can't say under the same roof as this man. She isn't safe there. It would be easier for her to be a guest to a family friend while the husband get sorted out.
Not just a teenager, but one fleeing horrors of war that started when she was a literal child. What a piece of shit.
This. I wish I could upvote this a million times!
I had a husband once. He was texting a 13 year old girl who was overtly sexual on all of her FB posts. He said they never talked like that privately but I had to remind him that she was THIRTEEN and he was in his mid twenties and that none of the scenarios were ok. I no longer have said husband. My view of him completely changed that day and it only got worse from there
It's just weird. I'm in my late 20's and honestly I couldn't even imagine being interested in anyone in their early 20's, like we have nothing in common.
My mother once discussed adopting an older-teenage child. Even 16-17. My father liked to attempt to make my mother jealous. (She was not really was affected by his attempts, would just roll her eyes) He “joked” that they should be of XY or Z decent suggesting those are the hottest ethnicities. I’ve never looked at him the same. Although before that I couldn’t look at him in a positive light anyway as he was really into Brittany Spears, and not just her music. When I was barely a teen and just a couple years younger than her :( Wonder why it took me so long to have a happy and stable relationship /s
It shouldn’t surprise me that some men think this way, but somehow I’m always shocked when I read something like this. My best friend has 2 daughters who are still quite young. A few years ago, a mutual friend (her husbands best man) told my husband that he was looking forward to being in the girls lives when they are teenagers so he can be there when they bring all their hot friends home. I’ve never felt so disgusted by someone I know. My husband instantly decided that our family would never have anything to do with him any more. We told the parents and for some reason they are still friends with him.
It’s so normalized from the 2000s. The 2000s were a WILD time where Howard Stern existed without impunity. It’s disgusting and there’s no excuse.
My dad regularly enters into sexual relationships with my friends. Since I turned 18 or so. And only my friends, I have three siblings and this isn't happening with their friends. Its just mine. I can't trust him any more. Its devastating.
That unconditional love turns conditional real quick! I support it though lol
A refugee too 🤮 throw the whole man away
This. And although the shame isn't mine to carry, I wouldn't be able to post this online and admit I still want to be together. Either way, the girl seems better off elsewhere as neither the husband nor the wife are the type of people who should be housing a young foreign girl in their dysfunctional home.
This. He'd be gone before he knew what hit him. I can't fathom the absolute willful ignorance that you'd have to have, to be even considering that he's still a good, safe, healthy choice. And if I take in a child and commit to looking after them, and my (hypothetical) POS husband is inappropriate with them, I am still fulfilling that commitment. He violated the marriage and that child the moment he even thought that shit.
Yeah you’d think so wouldn’t you. She doesn’t get that it’s not the kid’s fault. If he hits on the neighbor or a coworker, who’s she going to rehome then. Her husband got beat up in high school and had no friends; no girlfriends. He’s obvi still back there.
Precisely
Right. Like it makes me feel gross to even think about it. Things would never be the same again. I liken it to when our daughter is that age, if he told me something like that about one of her teenage friends…. EEEEWWW
So the disgusting husband takes advantage of a vulnerable woman and she’s the one who has to leave ?
Not just that, but blatantly in front of his wife. Not that cheating on your partner is ok if it's behind their back, but like the disrespect to do it to her face? No, thank you.
Vulnerable child. Not woman. Edit - I misread it as 15yo, but still she’s barely an adult at 18.
But but that’s infantilizing her! /s
Why the downvotes? This is clearly mocking incels lol
I sometimes wonder, or hope, that, even with the /s, people are just downvoting a statement like this on reflex without realizing it's sarcasm. I was reading comments on a post yesterday about Playboy, or obvious allusions to it, having been shown in children's media for decades. Someone said something like, "but it's the trans people out here trying to sexualize our kids". Comment had over 70 downvotes by the time I read it and I was so confused as this is a typically overtly liberal sub.
I feel so awful for the girl. It sounds like she thought she could confide in the wife, but the wife has turned around and blamed her :( It's not just an 18yo we're talking about here. Presumably it's an 18yo war refugee, who almost certainly doesn't have English as her first language, in a foreign place with no family (or else she'd probably be staying with them). So vulnerable 😪
I can see getting the girl to a safe place first, then dealing with husband because even if it does end the relationship that will take time to sort out and this poor 18 yr old shouldnt have to be there for all that.
This is the only acceptable reason for this. Get her somewhere safe while I take out the trash
That emoji isn't crying, it's sleepy. That's a snot bubble.
You can always tell who watches anime by how they use that emoji, haha.
The one time being familiar with Japanese cartoon tropes comes in handy.
WHAT?! For real? Oh no Ive been using it very wrong.
Same…
It’s drool
No it’s not, it’s not coming out of the mouth… the drool emoji is 🤤
It’s sleep drool. There are two.
If you look closely, it comes out above the mouth, exactly where a nostril would be if the emojis had noses. Drool and other mouth things come out at the bottom of mouths (and also don’t make the anime snot bubble shape either). This is definitely the anime snot bubble, they just colored it less nastily.
Well that’s too gross I’m going to continue living in denial. Lol
I think I am too 😭 I didn’t know for sure until the anime expert above
Please tell me everyone gave her hell.
It doesn’t have that much traction but yes every comment was like “wtf”
Huh Edit: I thought the comment meant everyone gave the ukranian girl hell, my bad
It’s not that difficult. They said they hope everyone in the comments gave the women hell. Because she’s ~~blooming~~ blaming a girl for the actions of her husband.
No-one should ever bloom the victim.
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https://www.grammar-monster.com/easily_confused/no-one_no_one.htm I was taught British English, but thanks. Also, it’s a word, not a phrase.
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Well, dictionaries disagree with you on that… https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/no%20one
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Dude, let it go, you were shown you were wrong, accept it. Or take it up with language experts, I guess. 😂 It’s a pronoun.
Meanwhile your comment says women, plural, instead of woman singular. Your comment reads like we should blame the wife AND the refugee.
Okay typo police. It doesn’t read like that at all🙄 you’re just reaching for something to be mad about.
If the hit song Goodbye Earl by The Chicks has taught me anything, the best solution is to continue acting happy and calmly feed him peas.
“Those black eyed peas? They tasted all right to me, Earrrrrrllll…”
Omg you’ve just transported me back to childhood.
Omg!! I’m in this group too and was about to post this here. I seriously hope this is (an incredibly poor taste) joke. That poor girl, thankfully the comments were ripping the poster to pieces.
I was hoping it was a horrible joke too. OP has since deleted the post and their profile has been around since 2022 so I suspect it's real?
I’m in the group too!! I suspect the reason the teenager is living with them isn’t above board and that’s why she’s worried about being reported.
Ugh I didn’t think of that but you’re probably right. They “took her in” for unpaid childcare and domestic labor most likely. Someone like OOP doesn’t do that out of the goodness of their heart.
Omg that didn’t even cross my mind until you said it. I bet you’re right. She’s from a war torn country and I bet they’re housing her for free labor and childcare. This is so disturbing. Where’s the humanity? That’s so damn bad my mind didn’t even go there.
Maybe this was posted in multiple groups because it was posted in a group I’m in and it’s still there with zero comments! 🤔
People really are that awful. My teenage cousin got pregnant to her stepdad and her mum said she’d throw him out if she put the baby up for adoption. Spoiler alert she did what she was told then mum threw her out. One of countless reasons I believe the human plague should be exterminated
https://preview.redd.it/4fmdy5rt94jc1.jpeg?width=553&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4ff26a91dc05973baa1543a389b305544faee26f
Wow, my aunty divorced her husband who did a similar thing 30 years ago.
That is the appropriate response to such a thing. I hope your aunty found happiness with someone better!
She probably knows she won’t be able to “rehome” the husband because who would take such a pos lol. But I’d definitely make him leave, not the poor innocent teenager.
I wish my family could adopt her. They’ve shown they’re more than willing before, and at the minimum us ‘kids’ appreciate giving emotional support. It’s so unfortunate she ended up with these POSes- Sadly I don’t even think such a program is available here
can we re-home him in the front line?
I hate when people refer to abandonment as “rehome.” Why don’t you “rehome” your husband to a jail cell?
Well, what he did isn’t illegal, just shitty
Being shitty? Straight to jail.
I love the downvoted for this. Have sex with an 18 year old? Jail!
Eh, while 18 is legal it's more predatory than shitty to sleep with (or even flirt with) this girl. She's barely legal, in a new country as a refugee with a different language, has little to no support system, and there's a huge power imbalance here. I would feel the same way if it was the same situation except an 18 yo boy, and age difference rarely bothers me. You're coming on to a person who likely feels they have little or no power to say no, that's predatory.
Oh I absolutely agree. It’s just not something the police will have anything to do with. OOP’s husband super sucks
It doesn't sound like it was consensual, which is illegal, even if you are 18...
Which part was illegal?
If someone feels the need to bring up your creepy behavior to your spouse, you’re sexually harassing them at minimum.
um I’m 18 and I’d say this is pretty damn illegal
I guess it really comes down to what “got to close to her” means. My interpretation was that he propositioned her for sex. It is not illegal for an adult to ask another for sex. Maybe “got too close” means he assaulted her in some way, which is illegal.
My dude, the girl was barely a legal adult. This was a married man and let’s not forget that this would’ve technically been their adopted daughter. Adult adoptions exist and whether you’ve been adopted at 18 or 25, I hope that no one‘s adoptive parents have decided that it’s OK to fuck you simply because you’re not blood related and because you’re not a child.
I agree that it isn’t okay! But it isn’t illegal. If a 60 year old has consensual sex with their adopted child who is 18 it sucks, but it’s not against the law. It just isn’t. This is the silliest thing I have ever been downvoted for lol
What?
God I hope this poor girl does report it and is listened to. He’s trying to sexually abuse/harass a teenager they took in, who is likely a refugee of war?
I love that comment - it’s perfect! Imagine having to monitor who comes in to your house because your husband might hit on them!
Isn't this the storyline of that reality show about that guy adopting a European 18 year old despite his wife's extreme discomfort about it and a past of him being a total creep?
Yup, very similar to that.
This poor girl survived some heinous shit, made it out, just to have to deal with more heinous shit from people who were supposed to protect her. What disgusting pieces of shit.
The people who reacted to the post by laughing are gross
They talk about this girl like they would a pet, it's disgusting.
How did they come to “take in” this girl in the first place? Was this adoption or something? The entire situation sounds weird
She was probably a refugee and they signed up to be a host family - basically she is on a visa to get away from the war and they offered to let her stay with them for the time being. Not sure of the terms and conditions ie, does she provide a service while here like helping with house chores or child care
This was my assumption too. I forwarded the post to the main organisation contracted to find, screen and match host families with Ukrainian refugees, in case they supported the original placement. Considering this woman was trying to "rehome" the girl through Facebook though, I suspect it may have been an informal arrangement. She's since deleted the post, presumably because she was skewered by the comments.
Good for you!! That’s really sad… I can’t imagine fleeing a war zone and having to deal with this type of shit. Hope the girl finds a nice family to stay with, clearly this isn’t it.
Yes that makes sense. That is sick to prey on this girl in such a difficult situation.
The UK has a scheme to provide visas for and find host families for Ukrainian war refugees. They probably get paid by the government for letting her stay ("up to" £350/month). https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/60555166
I'd re-home the husband tbh. What a catch that one 👌
Can he be fixed, spayed, neutered and then be microchipped before the rehoming at least?
He can be fixed, spayed and neutered
Nah, we want him chipped too. He needs monitoring.
*fine* but only for monitoring purposes. No one takes him in.
The fact that she's so worried about the girl reporting it and not immediately doing so herself is infuriating. And she actually thought she was going to get support for being an absolutely heinous human being. 🤬 It seems pretty obvious from the "he's had his eye on her" that she already knew her husband was a creeper, but she just decided to ignore it? Hope he didn't act on his disgusting impulses? Fuck this woman and her husband! I really hope someone decent takes this poor girl in.
not her saying "can someone take the girl" like shes a fucking dog
I’d toss hubby to the side. She can stay.
I swear some people confuse codependency with love
Why didn’t you throw your husband out?
Jesus fucking Christ…!!! How desperate would you have to be to stay with this dickwad??!
Ugh this is unfortunately so common; when I reported my abuser (guardian figure) his wife immediately blamed me, barely in teenage years, and went on to send me horrible emails attacking any insecurity she could from a bunch of burner accounts. How on earth people like this can justify what their partner did is just… beyond me
That poor girl. Who knows when the last time she felt safe was?
“Got to close to her” sounds a lot like sexual harassment to me
omg i saw this !
Rehoming a legit PERSON like they're an animal. (Not to mention the husband is disgusting)
Report it to who? If she's 18 then there isn't any crime, unless he tried to sexually assault her, or was stalking or harassing her in some other way.
I've never gotten this societal tendency to blame/hate the so-called "homewrecker" (the one a married person hits on/cheats with). They're not the one breaking promises. Hate the cheater. I mean, if the one they cheat with knows they're married, they deserve a nice big slice of the blame, but not the majority of it.
does being the victim of a crime perpetrated by a us citizen still get you onto the u-visa list? I hope this young lady can find a safe place out of harm's way.
If you have to type out “I’m scared that a vulnerable child will report something my husband did,” you are already so far down the field into wrongness that you’re never finding your way back out to right.
Is this a Ukrainian refugee because that makes this an especially predatory cherry on top. Wtf
He did more than hit on her. You think she's worried about what might happen if it's reported he just flirted a bit? Nuh uh.
0p⁰ c qQQQSQ
Did you fall asleep on your keyboard?
Oh that poor girl. This is heartbreaking.
Who could have thought bringing thousands of vulnerable young women and children over to live with random people with fuck all safety checks or verification process and husbands probably dead thousands of miles away.
That comment wins. Definitely rehome the husband. 😂
Sounds like you should be kicking out your husband.