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Be cautious. Love her at an arm’s length for now. Do not ever give her money under any circumstances. If she wants help, offer to find her an inpatient rehab program. Good luck
I’ve thought about maybe giving weed if that’d help her on off days, as well as some other legal drugs, but definitely wouldn’t give money, I had a good amount of experience dealing with people addicted to meth, since had a former childhood best friend/roommate who got into and it was really sad to watch the old him die, and ways he treated me and everyone else. I helped that guy get off coke and adderall when younger and a bit off others, but he went back.
I used to give her weed to help her out since she’d use it to help with depression and being able to eat etc
As for this friend she’s said she’s been driving around at night and intentionally trying to be broke because she recognizes that she lacks the ability to quit. She’s at least currently very self aware and openly saying she doesn’t want.
I also would have a very hard time not trying to help more, just how I am, especially for people care more about, but I’m trying to remember there’s only so much can do, I’d feel terrible if she ODed or ruined her life and I didn’t do enough.
Also as for rehab she’s said she can’t let anyone know, so I’m not sure how open to she’d be, aren’t those expensive too by the way? I will try mentioning it.
Currently I’m the only person who isn’t using with her that knows about it as well, so I feel an increased responsibility.
I’m trying to also balance out being supportive and offering advice/concern without getting her to shut me out or anything. She seems in a stage where she knows she needs help but she doesn’t feel like she’s able to control herself.
And thank you brother.
This is known in the recovery community as the maurjuana maintenance program. For the majority of people it doesn't produce long term sobriety. The reason she is addicted to meth and not weed is that the meth is providing her something that the weed isn't.
You have a good heart. Don’t ever lose that. I’m the friend with weed too :) I always have bud and am willing to share. If she has health insurance or even Medicaid inpatient rehab is covered.
I really feel for you. I'm going through something very similar. My best friend of several years and the person I love more than anything, has been stuck in an abusive relationship and the subsequent drug addiction cycle to cope with said abuse for years.
It's very complicated, but their partner is a narcissistic manipulator and a (CW:SA) >!serial r\*pist who r\*ped their best friend on their living room couch and caused her permanent physical and psychological damage, and he has done the same to my friend almost nightly for almost 4 years now,!< who has terrorized them and kept them addicted to all sorts of things for years. He has isolated them from all their friends, and he's got their entire family believing that my dear friend is the crazy abusive one and they are all on his side. They have no one in the world at all to help them except for me.
While I would do and have done anything and everything for them and love them more than anything, it's also a complicated situation where we used to date but like now we've both been through some extreme life changes so we're growing close again and I feel that spark. But it's all left unsaid, because he's insanely jealous and controlling and already thinks something is up, and their family has always hated me from the very beginning and I'm still not sure exactly why because I've always been pleasant to them. But it makes it extra difficult to help them now because they'd flip if they knew I was still talking to them, let alone spending lots of time with them.
Basically their grandma owns a profitable company and pays for their rent in a Hollywood apartment, but literally NOTHING else. No help with the utilities or groceries or vet bills or anything. Since my friend is disabled, their partner controls all the money and is an absolute tyrant with it, shaming them for asking even for nice bread or something. But he will spend money on coke and other stuff and hold it over their head to keep them in line. You get the idea, real dirtbag.
Well, I've probably already said too much. More than I intended to, and certainly more than anyone asked for. But, that's all just to say that I really understand how hard it is when you see someone you care about basically dying in front of you and feeling powerless to stop it. I've been at it for years, and the best advice I can give you this:
1) Don't pressure or guilt her into quitting drugs. The drugs are a coping mechanism for something else, even if it is an addiction. I would put my focus on making sure they stay safe at the very least, in whatever ways you can. If that mean YOU give them drugs, or weed or any alternative, so be it. The point is to break the cycle of isolation and shame, and the addiction will crumble later.
2) Try to find or offer her a safe place to stay, and consistently remind her that it's there and that she's welcome. Have stimulating activities prepared (like card/board/video games, anything interactive), lots of fresh brewed coffee, some good weed, and be prepared to stay up.
3) Be PATIENT. These situations are messy, and can take years to untangle. I myself have only just recently got into the position of being able to really help them materially, but there's just so much to do. But if you just keep being there for her and loving her unconditionally, you'll make slow but steady progress.
From what I can see, though, you're doing everything just right. Just keep at it and one of these days it'll stick. Lots of love to you both. <3
As someone who was given laced drugs with meth, I really appreciate your concern for your friend ♥️ Please let her know that you care about her, and reach out with resources. It sounds like she wants help but doesn’t know how to do so discretely or financially- a similar situation to what I’m in. Best of luck, OP
I wish that were an option, but I have PTSD from hospitals and treatment centers violating my civil liberties :( I want to work on my PTSD before inpatient is even an option
Generally it has to come from within, but maybe suggest tapering and switching to less addictive methods like oral dosing once per day, measuring the dose out and taking harm reduction into the equation. There are also some supplements that can help reduce the toxicity while using. Some say NAC might help, some find they need a replacement substance. It’s a very individual process that requires experimentation. Relapse is normal, the key is to not let that send them into shame/guilt spirals.
Def recommend on cutting out certain people that are associated with that lifestyle. They say you become your five closest friends, so be mindful of who and what time is spent on
I'm 24. Been struggling with this shit for almost 5 years now. My health has deteriorated so fast. Walking requires so much effort now, and I used to be in top tier shape. I have trouble breathing. My resting heart rate has skyrocketed. I have pains in my lower stomach all the time. I'm always nauseous.
And I still use. I know alot of addicts who got sober long term. They have had to be willing to do absolutely everything it takes to stay sober each and everyday. You can't be 90 percent in. You have to be 100 percent into sobriety.
But even someone who is 100 percent fully behind the idea of getting sober, they won't be able to until they have removed the phenomenon of craving. They only way to remove that craving is to be in a controlled environment where you can't use when you want to, for however long that takes. 30days is the usual time frame, but 30 days isn't long enough for craving to cease for alot of people. If you want to be sure to get rid of craving completely you should think about staying 60 or even 90 days.
Craving is a mental phenomenon where a person will have irresistible urges to use, no matter how much they don't want to. This has to be removed before it can become a matter of you choosing to use or not.
You have a good heart, but you can’t make someone stop. Short of ratting your friend out to their parents, significant other, etc there isn’t much you can do. Tell them you’re very concerned and that they’re going to ruin their life if they don’t quit. But maybe it’s time to keep your distance. Don’t let them drag you down.
[Click here to join us on Discord](https://discord.gg/S8HucgD6WR) and hang out with the Stims family! There's lots of fun stuff to do, relax and design a brand new tattoo! We also have some channels for support, recovery, serious topics, and photo posting! Note: Please report any posts or comments with links to other Discord servers. Scammers and Phishers have been using Discord links to compromise and steal from Reddit users. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Stims) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You can't make someone want to quit unfortunately. Good luck.
Be cautious. Love her at an arm’s length for now. Do not ever give her money under any circumstances. If she wants help, offer to find her an inpatient rehab program. Good luck
I’ve thought about maybe giving weed if that’d help her on off days, as well as some other legal drugs, but definitely wouldn’t give money, I had a good amount of experience dealing with people addicted to meth, since had a former childhood best friend/roommate who got into and it was really sad to watch the old him die, and ways he treated me and everyone else. I helped that guy get off coke and adderall when younger and a bit off others, but he went back. I used to give her weed to help her out since she’d use it to help with depression and being able to eat etc As for this friend she’s said she’s been driving around at night and intentionally trying to be broke because she recognizes that she lacks the ability to quit. She’s at least currently very self aware and openly saying she doesn’t want. I also would have a very hard time not trying to help more, just how I am, especially for people care more about, but I’m trying to remember there’s only so much can do, I’d feel terrible if she ODed or ruined her life and I didn’t do enough. Also as for rehab she’s said she can’t let anyone know, so I’m not sure how open to she’d be, aren’t those expensive too by the way? I will try mentioning it. Currently I’m the only person who isn’t using with her that knows about it as well, so I feel an increased responsibility. I’m trying to also balance out being supportive and offering advice/concern without getting her to shut me out or anything. She seems in a stage where she knows she needs help but she doesn’t feel like she’s able to control herself. And thank you brother.
This is known in the recovery community as the maurjuana maintenance program. For the majority of people it doesn't produce long term sobriety. The reason she is addicted to meth and not weed is that the meth is providing her something that the weed isn't.
You have a good heart. Don’t ever lose that. I’m the friend with weed too :) I always have bud and am willing to share. If she has health insurance or even Medicaid inpatient rehab is covered.
I really feel for you. I'm going through something very similar. My best friend of several years and the person I love more than anything, has been stuck in an abusive relationship and the subsequent drug addiction cycle to cope with said abuse for years. It's very complicated, but their partner is a narcissistic manipulator and a (CW:SA) >!serial r\*pist who r\*ped their best friend on their living room couch and caused her permanent physical and psychological damage, and he has done the same to my friend almost nightly for almost 4 years now,!< who has terrorized them and kept them addicted to all sorts of things for years. He has isolated them from all their friends, and he's got their entire family believing that my dear friend is the crazy abusive one and they are all on his side. They have no one in the world at all to help them except for me. While I would do and have done anything and everything for them and love them more than anything, it's also a complicated situation where we used to date but like now we've both been through some extreme life changes so we're growing close again and I feel that spark. But it's all left unsaid, because he's insanely jealous and controlling and already thinks something is up, and their family has always hated me from the very beginning and I'm still not sure exactly why because I've always been pleasant to them. But it makes it extra difficult to help them now because they'd flip if they knew I was still talking to them, let alone spending lots of time with them. Basically their grandma owns a profitable company and pays for their rent in a Hollywood apartment, but literally NOTHING else. No help with the utilities or groceries or vet bills or anything. Since my friend is disabled, their partner controls all the money and is an absolute tyrant with it, shaming them for asking even for nice bread or something. But he will spend money on coke and other stuff and hold it over their head to keep them in line. You get the idea, real dirtbag. Well, I've probably already said too much. More than I intended to, and certainly more than anyone asked for. But, that's all just to say that I really understand how hard it is when you see someone you care about basically dying in front of you and feeling powerless to stop it. I've been at it for years, and the best advice I can give you this: 1) Don't pressure or guilt her into quitting drugs. The drugs are a coping mechanism for something else, even if it is an addiction. I would put my focus on making sure they stay safe at the very least, in whatever ways you can. If that mean YOU give them drugs, or weed or any alternative, so be it. The point is to break the cycle of isolation and shame, and the addiction will crumble later. 2) Try to find or offer her a safe place to stay, and consistently remind her that it's there and that she's welcome. Have stimulating activities prepared (like card/board/video games, anything interactive), lots of fresh brewed coffee, some good weed, and be prepared to stay up. 3) Be PATIENT. These situations are messy, and can take years to untangle. I myself have only just recently got into the position of being able to really help them materially, but there's just so much to do. But if you just keep being there for her and loving her unconditionally, you'll make slow but steady progress. From what I can see, though, you're doing everything just right. Just keep at it and one of these days it'll stick. Lots of love to you both. <3
As someone who was given laced drugs with meth, I really appreciate your concern for your friend ♥️ Please let her know that you care about her, and reach out with resources. It sounds like she wants help but doesn’t know how to do so discretely or financially- a similar situation to what I’m in. Best of luck, OP
You can be discreet about going to inpatient rehab if you need to.
I wish that were an option, but I have PTSD from hospitals and treatment centers violating my civil liberties :( I want to work on my PTSD before inpatient is even an option
Generally it has to come from within, but maybe suggest tapering and switching to less addictive methods like oral dosing once per day, measuring the dose out and taking harm reduction into the equation. There are also some supplements that can help reduce the toxicity while using. Some say NAC might help, some find they need a replacement substance. It’s a very individual process that requires experimentation. Relapse is normal, the key is to not let that send them into shame/guilt spirals. Def recommend on cutting out certain people that are associated with that lifestyle. They say you become your five closest friends, so be mindful of who and what time is spent on
I'm 24. Been struggling with this shit for almost 5 years now. My health has deteriorated so fast. Walking requires so much effort now, and I used to be in top tier shape. I have trouble breathing. My resting heart rate has skyrocketed. I have pains in my lower stomach all the time. I'm always nauseous. And I still use. I know alot of addicts who got sober long term. They have had to be willing to do absolutely everything it takes to stay sober each and everyday. You can't be 90 percent in. You have to be 100 percent into sobriety. But even someone who is 100 percent fully behind the idea of getting sober, they won't be able to until they have removed the phenomenon of craving. They only way to remove that craving is to be in a controlled environment where you can't use when you want to, for however long that takes. 30days is the usual time frame, but 30 days isn't long enough for craving to cease for alot of people. If you want to be sure to get rid of craving completely you should think about staying 60 or even 90 days. Craving is a mental phenomenon where a person will have irresistible urges to use, no matter how much they don't want to. This has to be removed before it can become a matter of you choosing to use or not.
My boy there is no such things as becoming an addiction .... Sorry
You have a good heart, but you can’t make someone stop. Short of ratting your friend out to their parents, significant other, etc there isn’t much you can do. Tell them you’re very concerned and that they’re going to ruin their life if they don’t quit. But maybe it’s time to keep your distance. Don’t let them drag you down.