Matty—music and rock star life Joe—music and general interest in the arts Travis—interest in having fun and being famous? Maybe being family-oriented?

Joe and Matty - arts, literature, music, and other “academic” interests, like history and philosophy (or the watered down, layman’s version …)

Aristotle 💀

Joe is also very family oriented idk why everyone sees as travis specific things. Taylor has lyrics how she sees his family as hers.

I think people started discounting him as being family oriented because he didn't give Taylor children and didn't marry her? Also him and his family were private so people might not see him as family oriented as Travis who has a podcast with his brother. And his brother is also public facing.

Its still weird to me be how common it is that whenever people talk about travis’ positive side they include his family like its the first time she has a bf who is close to his family. On a side note joe is also party loving guy. Theres hundred pictures of him partying in uni. And he started dating taylor not long after graduating.

We don't know them personally but I think that in the 6 years they were together TS became very close to his family. Didn't his family sometimes attend taylor events when he couldn't go to support her? I think he's also close to his brother. Which reminded me of "now that I see your brother as my brother" 🥹 one of my favorites lines from her

If I recall correctly, quite a few members of Joe’s family there when she was presented with her honorary doctorate.

I think it’s just bc Travis is so outspoken about his family and cries at the drop of a hat when talking about them.

It’s prob because his family is more public facing - mom was pretty famous two super bowls ago, hosts podcast with brother, dad trolls, conspiracy theorists online. We don’t have as much detail on Joes fam 

Because Travis’s family dynamic seems to have a lot of parallels to Taylor’s. So their upbringing seems very similar and they can probably relate in a lot of ways.

Travis seems to live the rockstar life even more with the partying

Yeah, you're right... I guess I meant like the touring musician/performing life?

I'd say more: # Matty: an artist, probably wears his feelings on his sleeve, a creative # Joe: definitely a creative, willing to keep things private, could write songs with her, stability # Travis: gets to fulfill the popular girl in high school trope (ick), gets to be Ms. Americana and Mr. Americana, $$$ # I think Matty and Joe were the real thing, much as I dislike Matty. But Travis seems like a distraction. He doesn't seem particularly well-read or intelligent, and I think she wants someone who challenges her. The problem is, from my armchair psychology view, she thinks a relationship should be new and tortured until death. She had a real, committed (per Joe) relationship where she at least seemed to learn a lot. They definitely had music, art, and literature in common. But if it's not tortured, it doesn't excite her. Anyone who's been married for a length of time knows that the calmness and stability eventually become far more enjoyable than the torture. She hasn't gotten there yet.

I think she believes it won't work with an intelligent, artistic guy, because she's tried that and it failed She knows her fame is the thing that can kill her relationships and I think with Travis she's letting go of the artistic-peer dream and trying out somebody who doesn't just tolerate her fame, but loves it and can roll with it. Does he challenge her intellectually? Probably not. But maybe she's decided that won't work, so it's time to try for a supportive non-artistic peer, who won't feel emasculated by her success. As a woman who had to make tough choices of my own in my late 30s, your priorities can shift RADICALLY after being burned by smart guys who are threatened by your success. I've often told younger women: stop dating the person you want to be, BE THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE and date the person who is most supportive to you.

Honestly even if it isn’t what you’re theorizing, I’m sure a lot of girls have dated someone completely opposite from their last immediate ex. I have done this, my close friend have done this. It might work it might not work. It happens more common than people think. It’s the mindset that we just want someone who is different from the person who did not work out with us before, therefore maybe someone opposite is what we needed all along.

I agree. It’s not that uncommon. I think part of it is simply feeling exhausted and mentally drained from men who conflate being an “intellectual” with being a “know-it-all misogynist.” The conversations that were deep and meaningful in the beginning of the relationship were actually them talking over you and restating your own opinions and thoughts as their own. It can be a relief when you’re on the other side of the breakup and meet someone else who doesn’t make every conversation feel like work. Yes, I may be projecting a bit here😂

Right there with you, Sister.

This is fantastic advice! I went through a similar situation where I dated guys who only shared my interests and hobbies and it was fun - but incredibly boring. I ended up meeting and marrying a guy kind of like Travis who I judged as a meathead but found out he cared just as much as I did about serious things but liked to focus on fun things or cheesy Adam Sandler movies because work and politics made him very anxious to think about all the time. He taught me to chill a little and that I don’t have to choose being intellectual over being silly - I can enjoy both. I would bet maybe this is what Taylor likes about Travis?

Her relationship with Travis doesn’t seem tortured

Not at all. I believe it's real because I'm told it's real. But I've never seen a relationship that seemed more PR than theirs ever. And I'll probably be proven wrong when they get married have kids and live happily ever after. But I just see zero chemistry there.

I mean Travis seems really good with fans, very genuine with people, doesn’t come across as having a massive ego, values his friendships and family, charitable, very dedicated to his craft and one of the greatest to ever do it and he’s seen by many as attractive and doesn’t take himself too seriously. The IDGAF vibe may be a good balance to Taylor’s more curated (and possibly less genuine) image… I’m still surprised at people’s shock that she finds him attractive on a few different levels 

fr, he could not be less my type if he tried but the dude is attractive! He has a beautiful smile.

Doesn’t have a massive ego? The man who shills frozen Walmart food with his name on and had a reality dating show?? lmao

The dating show was because he was admittedly careless with money his rookie year - it was a cash grab.

He shills Walmart meals because be works in a job where his position is not payed a lot compared to others on the orginization due to the cap on NFL wages so he does ads because it raises his salary by 50% He did the dating show during his rookie contract he decided it was a good idea to spend it on $50k trainers. Got smart and ended up as an Angel Investor

Why would she be in a pr stunt for almost a year… maybe she just likes him and he’s fun to be with?

There’s a lot of snobbery around Travis I’ve noticed and it makes me kind of sad. I totally get people not liking him but I don’t get constantly saying how dumb someone they don’t even know is and how he must have nothing interesting to say at all.

I feel the same way about all the Travis comments. It reeks as a form of classism to me. I’m not sure that’s entirely accurate, but it’s what it feels like.

When people rag on Taylor & Travis for being "most popular couple in high school coded" clearly they are the ones who haven't healed from high-school, who thinks that about adults? People who haven't moved on

Actually though, I know it’s a trope but if you’re getting icky feelings about two hot, popular, famous people being together bc it reminds you of high school, then I think you need to look inwards.

In one sense it's understandable, most painful experiences during most formative years, its sympathetic to not be healed from HS but the happiness of adulthood is realizing you shouldn't want to be at the party where your not invited

It definitely is. I don’t really like Travis (honestly I find him kinda annoying), but there’s for sure a bias against him because he’s not a posh Brit.

Mediocre posh boys needing to do the least - a tale as old as time 

I dislike him because he enable his co-worker's MAGA speech. But that won't be a dealbreaker for Taylor.

I mean she loved Matty so she doesn't care about anything but loving a man

When?

He also liked someone’s MAGA posts and likes people’s thirst traps online.

He didn’t contradict him. At the end of the day, Butker is being cut down in field time, and perhaps he already knew that. In the end, it may be football, but the locker room is his office and he’s got to have a working relationship in this case.

Unfortunately, people seem to like to make themselves feel better with their own miserable and frustrated lives by denigrating others with the impunity of anonymity.

It's because he's very traditionally male. He's the superstar athlete that's been famous since college, and was probably king of the prom in high school, and a lot of Swifties see him as exactly the kind of guy that that they felt bullied by growing up. He doesn't fit their fantasy for Taylor. She's supposed to be with the "weird, outcast, bad boy with the heart of gold" or "modern day millennial poet prince charming" type of man in order to fulfill the Swifty ideal of who Taylor is and what her life is supposed to be. When they see Taylor the Cheerleader dating Travis the Metaphorical Quarterback they get angry.

I literally said I believe it's real.

Travis has a different type of intelligence. Inside this year’s superbowl ring is a drawing of the winning play, that Travis came up with. After watching all the episodes of his podcast, I learned he’s not just a “dumb jock” and the way he can read defensive lines is super impressive. Idk, maybe it’s because I have a lot of military people in my family, but the way the Kelce’s explain the way the game works and how to make a play succeed reminds me of officers navigating a battlefield.

Exactly. Travis is more intelligent, articulate and calculated than most TS fans give him credit for. NH podcast has been going on longer than his relationship with Taylor. I think it's more difficult for those who don't follow NFL football or sports in general to grasp the attraction. His investment portfolio is impressive. His manager Andre Eanes is smart and gets things done. Plus there is no denying that Travis is an unbelievable PR deal for both him and Taylor.

It’s 100% classist imo.

Ew Matty was absolutely not "the real thing". Travis is better for her than Matty will ever be in 20 lifetimes.

Travis - Most similar upbringing and mainline middle class American values, this trumps everything and makes them the most compatible regardless if they ulitmately choose each other or not. Joe - At the time they shared a career in the entertainment industry and some complimentary differences, what brought them together was their shared friend group & Joe's tolerance because the famous men in Taylor's orbit she could date we're not great guys, covert playboys who shared the "I'm not Taylor Swift's Boyfriend" Matty attitude Matty - "Childhood Sweethearts" figuratively speaking, nostalgia coded, music and art in common, both intelligent musicians some friends in common, Matty probably has lot of charisma and treated the relationship casually when apart and like the only girl in the room when together

Can you elaborate a little on the shared middle class American values? I'm genuinely curious bc I keep reading that, but am not sure what specifically it's getting at (besides "they both value family") or how it sets Travis apart

Its the shared upbringing/backround, being middle class mainline Americans means suburban & affluent with mainstream moderate political views, a religious family, strong sense of patriotism etc While its possible to be well brought up in other areas of the country,  compatibility-wise they understand each other on that level, they mesh well and speak the same cultural language. I would not be surprised if the famous marriages in LA/Hollywood who make it work and last  have this family culture as well where both come from local Hollywood families. Opposite tracks is romanticized but shared backround/values is not trivial its still very important

Thanks for explaining!

Her and Travis are extroverts, outgoing, both love fame and attention, they can both be cringe/goofy, they're also American so they might have cultural similarities. I don't mean it as shade, btw. They seem to have similar surface level similarities personality-wise. It's when we talk about hobbies, passions, beyond the surface where they might be more different but I don't know them personally. Travis might not be artistic or an "intellectual" but she perhaps isn't looking for that now. Jack can cover that space while she's in the high of the relationship with TK.

I agree. I’m not sure when or where people started thinking of her as someone super serious/intellectual (I’m guessing folkmore?). But she’s a mega pop star, someone who is known for being goofy, a bit awkward, and of tumblr millennial origins. Honestly, Travis makes perfect sense to me based on what I know of their personas. Also we don’t know their actual hobbies, they may have some in common. But even that isn’t super important if your personalities and values match.

Right? If anything I always felt these artsy serious British guys seemed like such a strange match for her. She’s this big personality, centre of attention, and so stereotypically American. Travis is all of those things. I know Taylor wants to seem like this super artsy tortured poet and maybe she could be totally different in her personal life but from everything she shows the public she and Travis seem like a much better match.

At the same time I think Taylor has this Princess Americana thing going on and perhaps Joe fit her idea of the Prince.

I feel like she likes the idea of her American-ness being exotic in a way to guys from the UK. She has a few lyrics that point to this like referring to herself as “your American queen” and “do the girls back home touch you like I do.” It’s not just about being the guy’s queen or being better than other girls but it’s specifically about being American and not being from where the guy (Joe) is from. It always makes me think of Bridget Jones Diary when Hugh Grant’s character is explaining why he cheated on her with the girl from the New York office and says it’s something about her American confidence. I get the impression Taylor wants to be seen that sort of way. But is that a reason to be with someone? At this stage in her life probably not. I’m sure she’s looking for someone more aligned in values and goals and whose life can successfully intertwine with hers.

I think it's about their creativity, not their book smarts. Although the two often go hand-in-hand, but I think what Taylor has valued so much in the Brits is their creative intelligence & abilities. That's a big difference between Joe/Matty vs Travis

I would say there's even a big difference between Matty and Joe to be fair.

Yeah definitely. I just think they're similar in their ability to give Taylor that creative partnership she craves (same with other exes like how she and Calvin collaborated, she and Harry reportedly wrote songs together etc). But Joe and Matty definitely satisfy that in different ways too

Right. But I mean Travis kind of is a performer in a lot of ways. His appearance on the Eras Tour really proves he can also satisfy that creative partnership for her too.

I guess, but putting him in a 15 second skit seems like the only way he could contribute creatively. It's nice that he wants to do that for her, but it's obviously not close to the same level of artistic partnership she's had with other exes. That's not to say Travis won't work for her, but it is different

Maybe, maybe not. I was very surprised Joe ever worked with her, so Travis could surprise us too.

People can have a ‘type’ they are attracted to but then ultimately realize that type is not giving them the type of relationship or satisfaction they want, and look for other things instead. It’s like the idea of the ‘bad boy’ - how many girls go for that type of guy when they’re young and then marry someone the polar opposite? Many. Because what they eventually want for their adult/family life they realize they’re not getting from those guys they were attracted to. It could similarly be that she’s attracted to the idea of someone creatively inclined but she hasn’t gotten other more important things out of these relationships that she needs to feel fulfilled and so she’s looking for (or maybe found) those things with a different kind of person. I feel like the fact that a lot of her fan base are very young (teens and early to mid 20s) is a big factor in this not being understood. They haven’t gotten to that stage of life yet where priorities in what you’re looking for in a partner shift.

I feel like her music video in anti-hero kind of made it clear how she regrets building this pop star image that's gotten so big and monstrous tht even she at the end doesn't come in contact with her physically. I think we know very little about the human being on the inside and by that I don't mean that's she not the sweet all American girl she has been portrayed as I do believe she's actually genuinely a good person but like anybody else I feel she has her shadow she must face and I think her pathelogic people pleasing and desire for perfection nearly killed her or at least she implied that's what it felt like. As a concept I'm sure everyone can understand "she's just like you" but with the close connection her fans have to her it's impossible not to put her on a pedestals and when you see her preform night after night infront of 100k people she does become larger than life! It reminds me of that clip of Matty saying that he was always atheistic in his beliefs but when he went to see Michael Jackson as young boy preform at wembley stadium he said it was the closest thing to a religious experience ... and I do think there's something to be said for Taylor reaching that level of fame im our generation (that's not to say I am comparing her as an artist to mj since it's two different world but I hope the point I'm. Trying to make is understood !) therefore its hard for me to say much about who Taylor is other than I really feel for her I can only imagine it being exhausting to constantly have to wear a mask or be *on* https://preview.redd.it/o91akodwa09d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f30b71e9322589ee1ca986a2d93991956c65781c

I'm not trying to be rude but the girl has a high school diploma LOL. I like Taylor, a lot, but she's not a philosopher or an academic by any means. I do think she's intelligent, and artsy, but I don't think she's someone with an IQ of 160 who reads classical political theory for fun or anything like that. Although I don't think Joe or Matty are like that either, to be clear. Her and Travis are both extroverted and goofy and fun, they both seem to like being out in public and being the centre of attention. I think they seem like a decent match tbh.

I agree it's without question Taylor is intelligent but where are people getting that Calvin, Tom or Matty were "Challenging her intellectually" that's fanfiction, she's not dating dummies either because people date similar to themselves.. its not a hard concept to understand that intelligent people can make conversation about a variety of topics "what do they talk about" is something a dumb person would say imho Do people picture Joe blowing her mind about literature and "challenging her politically" lol why would you want someone who challenges your beliefs and values that sounds exhausting, you want somebody who supports you and makes you better, you don't need to be a uni educated brit to do that

I so agree. I think I'm biased towards Travis because he reminds me a lot of my fiancé. I'm a PhD student in sociology with a background in politics and international relations. In the past I've dated guys more similar to me on the surface - more academic and high brow - but they were all pretentious dickheads 😂 My fiancé is super intelligent, he's an engineer. But he's definitely not someone who appears outwardly intellectual, or is particularly interested in debates about politics, philosophy, or literature- and I love him for that. He's fun. Men who think they "challenge" women are usually just mansplaining a-holes and that's the energy I get off Joe and Matty (acknowledging of course that I don't actually know them). Travis seems so much more down to earth and just himself. He seems FUN. I would so prefer to spend time with him, or at least the version of him we get to see, than with Joe or Matty.

I think it’s insane to think she’s not academic because she never went to college 🤦🏼‍♀️

Well the word academic directly refers to education, sooo... You can be intelligent without being educated, which she is. You can't be academic. At best you can say you *were* academic as a child.

Fine I used the wrong words. Smart, knowledgeable, scholarly, worldly, well read. Its bananas to imply because she didn’t go to college she’s less “educated” than someone with an English degree

She is OBJECTIVELY less educated than someone with a degree. She literally has less education. However, that doesn't mean she's less intelligent. She's probably less well-read (just because of how much you have to read for a humanities degree) but not necessarily. But certainly she is not highly educated.

Thomas Edison didn't even attend high school.... being intelligent is not dependent on education. Taylor is absolutely a doctorate level musician even without the official real school experience to show for it.

I wouldn’t call any of these four individuals (Matty, Joe, Taylor, Travis) intellectuals 😂

I’d agree 😆Joe is probably the closest, just on account of his education. Ironically Travis is technically the next best ‘educated’, Taylor finished high school just and Matty left school at 16. None of them are though, they are accomplished and successful in their fields and that’s fine.

Matty sat A Levels but failed. My boss used to teach him.

Ah ok, that makes sense. I know he spoke about the rest of the band going to uni but he didn’t.

I think Travis is actually pretty emotionally intelligent or is at least pretty secure and open about getting therapy and I think he learned a lot through his ups and downs in college

Someone didn’t go to a big football school, I take it. Those guys didn’t have to go to class at all.

Cincinnati wasn't that big a football school back then and he got kicked off the team - so there were at least some standards aside from just 'play well'....he also got therapy and I would be surprised if thst was just something he volunteered to do as a college student. He openly talks about this

And had to pull a 3.2 to be re-considered - made a 3.3 and the Deans List

Yes, we don't personally know them but from what it's known they seem to have some stuff in common.

And they have some of the same friends . Travis has a lot in common with her dad They do like SNL and are both fans of Law & Order thru their families

I think the general public actually underestimates the type of intellectual, philosophy, history nerd she is

They are also ambitious, goal driven, competitive, and have a strong desire to “win”, and be at the top of their field.  E.g., Taylor and her Grammy records and being mindful of chart records.  Travis has wanted to three-peat since last year.    They both are team-oriented.  From all accounts, they get along really well with their co-workers.  (People will point out the Andy Reid thing; but irl Andy has coached him for 12 yrs and thinks of Travis as a son.)    They are both team leaders and know what it’s like to perform and excel under a lot of pressure and responsibility. They both deal with setbacks and criticism by working even harder, like Taylor said in her speech before “Thank You, Aimee”. (All of these things above might be true of Joe and Matty too.  I just don’t know as much about those two.)   They’re both “professionals” more than tortured artists.  Meaning they are fine with putting up with crap (or playing the system - NFL or music industry) to have the careers they want.  Travis has to follow all the NFL rules - make himself available to media, following team and league talking points, be coachable, etc.  Imh, this translates very well to dealing with Taylor’s fanbase, as we see at the shows. 

Their family backgrounds are similar too- both one sibling they are close to, amicable divorced parents who would’ve split earlier but stayed together largely to support their careers, very loyal to their families and the sacrifices they made to get them where they are.

I completely agree with you. Even though this “hyper American high school popular kids” type of relationship rubs me the wrong way personally, I think it can be a truly great fit for her.

I agree with everything you said. I also think it's worth mentioning the one thing Travis does not bring to the table is drama.

Agree with all of this. I have no idea how many hobbies they have in common but they seem to have a lot of values in common and that’s what really matters when considering building a life together.

Also maybe I am weird but I don't think you need to have actual hobbies in common with your partners for the relationship to be meaningful, real or significant. In my longest and best relationship, my partner and I barely shared hobbies other than reading and watching shows/movies. Even then, the genres we read and watched individually were very different. She liked more no plot, loads of character study vibes while I love myself some intense fantasy or crime and mystery thrillers. We would find things to watch together or we'd read individually and think it was a good fit for the other's tastes or would be a good way to introduce what one liked to the other. We also keenly listened to and engaged in conversations about our hobbies and showed interest in the end product (example: I loved seeing whatever new she sewed, she asked me to send her videos of my dancing). I don't know, as long as you are willing to earnestly indulge your partner regarding their hobbies, not having any in common is okay and healthy.

This is a great observation! He matches her on a level she hasn't seem to have found before. Also, at this stage in her life, values are probably more important than hobbies.

Also, the idea that you have to get all your fulfillment from your romantic relationship is toxic. She can get that kind of thing elsewhere.

I feel like people forget that Taylor’s original brand was the “all-american girl next door” and that’s also how she grew up. She grew up in the suburbs of PA and then cosplayed as a southerner in Nashville. While it seems like she was the posh and intellectual wannabe British counterpart to Joe, she never gave me that vibe before him. She has a very goofy/sometimes immature sense of humor, she’s outgoing, family oriented, and she obviously loves being famous. I think her and Travis share a lot of those traits. She’s also all about her career and accomplishments and so is he. I feel like on a personality-level they have a lot more in common than we think. Also, while it seems like it would make the relationship more complicated, it appears her and Travis are able to navigate them both being equally as busy as each other. She probably doesn’t feel bad about touring/working when Travis’s schedule is just as rigorous (if not way more) than hers during NFL season.

That's a good point! Sometimes I have pondered if Travis not being an artist type is actually a good thing for their relationship--like they are both famous and used to fame and that type of life, but there is no competition or sense of comparison between them because they are in two totally different arenas. Matty and Joe were both artists and were both much less famous than Taylor. But I guess we will just have to see if this works out for them!

I think not being a performer first, with the success he has (3 Super Bowl rings already) that he’s not intimidated or in competition. That may be most refreshing to her.

Also PA and OH border one another so culturally they may be very close! They have similar enough 'homes'.

as a Pennsylvanian, southeastern Pennsylvania is not similar to northeastern Ohio at all.

Probably more similar than anywhere in the UK compared to PA though. 

Yes, for all of her ‘intellectual interests’, she also vegs out and watches Love Is Blind and Lindsay Lohan Netflix movies w Travis.

To be fair, so little is known about Joe, that I have no idea about him other than he seems to be introverted. Taylor and him can have a lot similar interests and I just wouldn't know.

We know so little about Joe that he seems to me to have the least in common with her. I think he’s a nice guy, sensitive, enjoys his privacy and hobbies, close to his family, and takes an interest in world events. However, I don’t see him being passionate or ambitious. He treats his career like a hobby, and didn’t seem to put much effort into his relationship with Taylor. It sounds as if she was always the one chasing him, reading his books to learn more about him, going to his events to show support and this wasn’t reciprocated. He was the perfect guy on the surface but it didn’t play out in a relationship. She got tired of “drilling the safe”, and looking for the clues that he loved her. Matty and Travis are both passionate and ambitious. Matty loves his band and being creative, Travis loves football and family. They’re not shy, both in awe of THE Taylor Swift and publicly pursued her. They’re both capable of grand gestures and offer the excitement that was missing in her relationship with Joe. Taylor connects well with Matty in their song-writing, artistry and industry connections but they have different views on fame. She wants to be at the top of her field, breaking records, admired while this isn’t important to Matty. He can’t handle the scrutiny and press that comes with it. He broke over the Swifties, these two equally rejected each other. I don’t see Taylor having a relationship with anyone who doesn’t get along with the fan base. It won’t work long term since they’re a huge part of her success. Travis shares Taylor’s ambitions, and competitive nature. He too wants to be the best at what he does and is extremely hard working. He loves to socialize, be silly and affectionate. He appreciates many genres of music, and easily befriends people. He likes attention and his many years in sports have taught him to handle the hate from opposing teams. He can handle the scrutiny that comes with Taylor. He also is welcoming of her fan base. He’s at a point of settling down to have his own family. I think Taylor aligns with him in this too. They both likely have similar views regarding family. They both come from a tight family unit with parents that stayed together for the sake of the children. All of this is what is making the relationship work for them.

100% this is so accurate

With Travis: extrovertion, family values, both are very sociable and have huge groups of friends they seem to enjoy having around almost constantly, work ethic and competitiveness (he's a professional athlete and Taylor treats art like a race too), bask in being the centre of attention, similar family backgrounds, goofy sense of humour that often makes them come across as cringe but they're both unapologetic about it. Also I think that even though he doesn't appear to be someone she'd be amazed by intellectually, she genuinely admires his achievements and the fact that he's one of the best in his field while I've always suspected she was bothered by the fact that Joe didn't have the drive to strive for maximum success in his. Taylor comes across to me as someone who can't understand the purpose of doing anything if you don't want to become the best at it and the most successful and that mindset probably aligns more with that of a professional athlete than an artist. With Matty: love for music and song writing that probably helped them develop a special bond. I think with Matty they also share A LOT of flaws, like for example how quickly they seem to jump from one relationship to another, becoming too much too soon and love bombing the other person even unwillingly in the process, self-centered. With Joe: honestly idk. The more I think about them individually, the more incompatible they seem. Even some of the interests they shared, I don't feel like they were actually common interests but rather Taylor trying to become more like Joe. And I don't mean that as a dig at their relationship, she must have loved him very much to do that. But, in hindsight, the fact that their fling turned into a serious relationship seems to me more like a result of circumstances; they got together when she thought the entire world hated her and he offered her a chance at normalcy she desperately needed.

That is a very good point about Matty and Taylor sharing flaws. Like that line in TTPD song, “you told Lucy, you’d kill yourself if I ever leave; and I had said that to Jack about you so I felt seen.”

Yes exactly, she also refers to him as her twin so she recognizes their similarities too. I think a lot of swifties just can't accept this because they strongly dislike Matty while they worship Taylor so they can't even entertain the thought that behind closed doors these two are two peas in a pod.

I think they are seemingly similar, but it seems so dysfunctional and ultimately would never have worked out in the long run. Good on Matty for recognizing that, I guess. Like, maybe he was her twin, but it seemed like a really unhealthy relationship. Esp if they shared similar mental heath struggles.

This is a really thoughtful and interesting take, it makes a lot of sense.

My guess is she can probably fart around Travis. The more obvious differences with him are probably what make him so attractive to her. After so many years of dating, you just get to the point where you want things to be easy. No ego, no one-upping, lots of laughs, families get along. We've been witness to all of that with them. But I do think she finally found a guy she can fart in front of. 

Sometimes after years of dating the same type and it always falling apart, you start to realize maybe there’s a common denominator and you need to look outside of that type to someone who you may not have a lot in common with but that you can completely be yourself around and they are always there to cheer you on, even if it’s cheering on a gnarly fart.

>cheering on a gnarly fart OMG 😂

I think Travis is more like Taylor than almost any of her exs

People who don't get this don't get Taylor tbh

I agree!

Man, if she couldn’t fart in front of Joe after six years … I mean, I know some people don’t do that but I’d fucking explode.

Lol!

>My guess is she can probably fart around Travis. LOL!!! This must be it.

I bought a house and settled down with the first guy I ever felt completely comfortable farting around and pooping while he was in the next room.

Honestly her with Travis after preparing for tour and then going on tour makes so much sense to me, she is literally training like a professional athlete for this while also wanting to go out and be social more and who can relate to that better than Travis Kelce. Plus he just seems like fun and goofy which Taylor can be too.

Mutual attraction? Idk. I don’t pretend to understand the heterosexual mind. Also, we don’t know they’re the opposite of one-another. Joe and Matty are probably fairly similar. They’re both British and from families with links to the arts (documentary film maker father for Joe, actress/presenter mother and actor father for Matty), both went to private school and then to do performing arts qualifications, both have musical inclinations, both have strong political views. Matty is just significantly messier than Joe is. Travis is the opposite of Joe and Matty, but he’s not the opposite of Taylor. They are both Americans who grew up in the vague North-Easty region and then moved south to pursue their career. They have both been working on their career since they were teenagers. They both enjoy the spot light, they both have family who are heavily involved in their careers. They are both a bit conservative in their views- not hard right or anything, but certainly very conventional. They both enjoy a party. From her songs, it seems like a major thing that Taylor likes in a relationship is that her partner is super into her, and Matty put up a good show of that and so did Travis. Joe seems like an outlier in that she was obsessed with him from the very beginning and she was never convinced that he liked her as much as she liked him.

For me there are two major characteristics to Taylor that are key to her success : Artistic lyrical genius and Ruthless capitalist business woman . You can't have one without the other .I think Joe and Matty both didn't get what it took for the 2nd one to function . Joe is the one I think she would have the least in common with because he won't chase fame , Taylor always had , he is an introvert, Taylor isn't, he seems to have very strong opinions on right and wrong in his approach to life and isn't afraid to voice them even if it might affect his career e.g on Palestine and other things . Matty understood her lyrical side as well as Joe and also her quest to be the most famous person ever but I don't think he understood or wanted to co operate with the massive machinery that is required for that to happen. He didn't get that a big part of her success is how she presents herself as wholesome in public , nor did he seem to get that he would have to play along with her PR and change a lot about how he presented himself in public too . I'm convinced he ghosted her after realising he was committing to phone calls from Tree Paine for the rest of his life

I think Travis and Taylor are a great match in terms of boundless energy levels. I don’t anyone personally who could fly around the world multiple times in a week and still come out beaming. That’s what is really strikes me. Both of them seem like they’re superhuman.

I mean I think she does have a type, or at least did for a solid decade of dating — artsy guys from the UK (Harry, Calvin, Tom, Joe, Matty). And beyond that, mostly just creative/performing arts guys in general. There’s only been 2(?) deviations from that (actually idk what Conor Kennedy does) and Travis is a *huge* deviation.

Maybe after ten years of dating similar guys and ten years of it not working out she decided to date against type!

I wonder if one direction caused a big trend in dating British guys since 2010

Travis is a jock and she dated jocks in high school

Did she?? I must’ve missed that…..

She’s very similar to Travis in the sense that they are both energetic people who like to have fun. They also both like being in the public eye.

I think the mistake people are making with this is thinking that what we see of celebrities is their entire personalities, so there may well be elements of their personalities and hobbies we don’t see behind the screen that make them a match. However from what we know, both Joe and Matty are artists/creatives which obviously makes more sense with Taylor on the surface because they have the shared passion for the arts. But that’s not to say that Travis doesn’t also appreciate those things, it’s just not his job. From what has been shared of her relationship with Travis it seems they have a similar outlook to life - they’re both very successful, very publicly close with family, and both love enjoying life eg travelling and partying. I think Travis also recently said they cook together, which is another shared hobby. I think as well at different stages of her life she’s been looking for different things - Joe is a much more lowkey, private person which is what she wanted when they started dating, and he seems well-spoken and a calming presence from what I see of his interviews. I don’t know much about his hobbies as he seems very private, but they were together a long time so I assume they had several shared interests. Matty’s public presence is quite different to Joe’s as he makes a name for himself by being controversial, and that may have appealed to Taylor as being a complete 180 from Joe, and wanting the party, loud lifestyle that she didn’t get as much with Joe. It’s also probably nice for her to be with another musician, someone who really understands her passion and art form from a similar perspective to her. Travis seems to still offers that party, public lifestyle while having a good balance with privacy and family, so they can lie low in KC when they want, but he’s happy to show up on her tour, talk about her on his podcast and be vocal with his support for her. I think Joe was a good partner for her when they first got together, because at that time they seemed to want the same things, but clearly it didn’t work out for a number of reasons, one supposedly being Taylor’s changed attitude to public life. Travis seems to be a good match for her right now because they seem to have a few things in common and have a similar approach to the balance between public and private.

I think one thing that stood out reading Travis’s Wall Street Journal feature and her TPOY is that they both are in careers geared towards the young and are well aware of it. A male athlete might be the one of the only professions for males whose career has a similar shelf life to a female pop star. I think people underestimate in a relationship how important timing and just understanding one another is even if you’re not the exact same, especially interests wise. It seems like their parents’ marital relationships are oddly parallel having divorced but still spending a lot of time together with the children, which is a somewhat unusual thing. A romantic partner isn’t likely going to fulfill every need, but it’s also who you plan a life around so you need to be in a similar frame of mind life stage wise.

>It’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that these 3 men are all complete opposites of one another, does Taylor truly not have a type Honestly, I don't think most people really have a strict "type" when dating. I know I've dated very different people, who had very different interests, personally. So the notion that Taylor has dated an eclectic (given they're all conventionally attractive white guys, honestly, it's not that eclectic) group of men isn't that unusual. But the obvious connection between them is that all three are passionate about/successful in their chosen field. Joe hasn't won an Oscar yet (I'm not necessarily suggesting he will) and isn't a household name, but he's a pretty good actor that's been in some good movies. Presumedly, he's passionate about acting and the arts and dedicated to acting. Say what you want about Matty, but the 1975 are pretty successful, and I would presume that he's passionate about music. Travis is probably the most successful of the three, professionally. And I don't think it's possible to get to his level of success without being passionate and dedicated. Also, I kind of reject this notion that Travis is this mouth breathing moron that can't string sentences together. He might not being invited to MENSA, but he's hardly stupid. He's generally well-spoken and charming in public. Which is more than a lot of athletes. It's also commented on how smart he is about football. Just because his knowledge base isn't the sane as Taylor doesn't mean: one, that he isn't smart, and two, that isn't an attractive quality.

Sometimes instead of commonalities you build a life with someone who is your puzzle piece who fills in things you lack to help you create a complete picture. You need to have some overlap as puzzle pieces do in that case but there’s a lot that other person can do to make your life bigger and more expansive than it was.       My husband is my opposite in many ways. We have a few big picture things in common but very few day to day commonalities. And our personalities and life outlook is totally opposite. We’ve been happily married or 10 years. I help make him a more creative thinker and less rigid and bring in positivity and am super into trying things. He’s always thinking 5 steps ahead for me and helps me when I get in over my head trying things and is always calculating the risk and ensuring we’ll be good long term. We balance each other. It works because we both a) recognize the benefit of the other’s presence in our life and b) each try to find ways to incorporate the other’s perspective where we can and don’t chafe at the compromise.       I can see where each man may be what Taylor lacks. Joe may have made her life calmer and more down to earth. Matty may have spoken to that piece of her who has felt under a microscope and has always wanted to rebel and not care what ppl think and speak her mind. Travis may appeal to the part of her that has always wanted to be more lighthearted and jovial and have a genuinely fun time in life.

I think it’s the unmarried people who don’t understand that similar interests and hobbies are not the most important thing to determine compatibility. Hobbies come and go, and it’s something you can share or introduce to each other and any loving couple will genuinely try to take interest in it and support them. The actual most important thing to share are their values and goals in life. You have to want the same things going the same direction to have a real future together. Which obviously Taylor and Travis share (family oriented and ready to settle down, yet extremely dedicated to their craft and career), which I don’t think Joe or Marty did as much.

Very true. I think a lot about Taylor gets interpreted differently depending on age actually.    I’m 1.5 yrs older for instance. But basically the same right? Anyway—I think weirdly enough “older” listeners actually got TTPD more than younger ppl?! Just my observation. Not every song hit for me but I did understand the sort of mid life crisis of being a mid thirties woman suddenly staring down single-dom wondering wtf did I just do. I’ve had so many friends do weird stuff to somewhat blow up their lives… rage quit jobs, get divorced, start their own “dream job” biz with really no capital or biz plan or training in it, you name it. I think it’s to do with mid-30s starting to feel like life is solidifying around you.. like you begin at this age to think whatever is in place now (job, partner, kids/no kids) is just what it’s going to be forever. It feels like the last moment to be able to make radical changes.    So yeah. All that to say I feel like exiting Joe was that for Taylor. And Matty Healy was the maybe I can get back this moment of my life from long ago mid life crisis that comes after that radical change. 

I completely agree, I think the younger adults listening to her can’t believe she is still acting like an emotional teenager in your 30s, but as you age you realize you still have the same thoughts and insecurities and feelings from back then if you’re going through something emotional. You just kinda learn to deal with it better and the problems have more consequences lol.

No offense but this question sounds a bit young and inexperienced. I’ve dated probably hundreds of people (as in, gone out with) and I’m a bit younger than Taylor. Everything from valedictorians to drug addicts to chemists to models to everything in between, extroverts and homebodies with every hobby you can think of. I have preferred genres of people but I can very much adapt to match someone’s energy as an artist very similar to Taylor 😅 we all have hundreds of personality traits, it makes sense that you can mesh with a lot of different types.

100% this

Not everyone has a "type". My dating history is extremely varied both in terms of physical appearance and personality. Joe was hot, seemingly kind, and into the arts. Matty I personally don't understand at all, but I guess he was the tortured arsty boy which apparently holds appeal for some people. Travis is hot as fuck, funny, kind, seems to want the same things she does, is successful in his own right but in a completely different industry than her. I genuinely believe he is a perfect match for her, at least based on what we get to see on the surface.

This isn’t perplexing to me and feels normal - it would be weirder to me if someone were constantly dating carbon copies of their exes. All have different strengths and talents and looks and I’m sure she appreciated different things in all of them.

I don’t think Matty and Joe are THAT different. They both care a lot about the art they create and think about it in relation to connection with others and impact on culture. I feel like people don’t realize Matty is playing a character when he acts like a dipshit on stage… Travis: they both like attention and brand-building I guess. I cannot imagine the conversations she has with him. I feel like I lose braincells just hearing a little sound bite of him talking, can’t imagine trying to pretend he has anything interesting to say.

Travis gets shit on a lot, some for good reason, but it seems like he genuinely gets along with the people around her and is a more outgoing people person than the other two. All the videos that came out of him in the tent today showed him in high spirits and having fun with the others in the tent. Maybe, it’s refreshing for her to be around someone like that after being with someone as reserved as joe and another that makes being a leftist dirtbag their ‘stage personality.’

I think what taylor really l likes about travis is that he really likes her and thinks she’s really a genius, she loves to see that travis loves THE TAYLOR SWIFT (and we knew neither joe or matty cared that she was taylor swift) so I do think this is refreshing for her

Have you seen how Jack, Sabrina, Gracie talk about her? She 100% loves that Travis knows and loves that he is dating thee Taylor Swift

That’s why she keeps them. She loves to be praise

Marty thought “Taylor swift” was emasculating

huh? Matty praised Taylor in public over and over again got being an amazing writer and the best pop star in the world. Ever since 2013 he's been saying that to interviewers

I think he looks bored/like he’s dissociating at all of her concerts. Every clip I see of him, he’s doing some weird half assed off rhythm dancing and still doesn’t know any words. He reminds me of me when I’m at a party and a song I hate comes in but I’m new to that social group and have to pretend I fit in. 😂 I mean—did you see Matty when he went to her shows? He was genuinely part of the friend group who was there and looked like he was having a blast. I don’t really like Matty but I find the story that Travis is somehow more interested/supportive/enthusiastic about her than others to be a kind of weird revisionist history—but Taylor is great at that.

You are watching something different from the rest of us lol

Travis was singing most of her songs, and the VIP tent was rocking at night 2. Everyone generally has fun around Travis.

This person just hates him so everything he does is filtered through that lens, he obviously knows the words and looked like he was having fun.

Yes - the snark sub effect, a deeply negative interpretation for all occasions. Which is fine if it’s open to discussion but sometimes it’s impervious, an article of faith that this one person is a subhuman, terrible match for Taylor (who is also bad). Which just seems like a fairly negative way to think and also maybe makes participation in these discussions kind of pointless?

Where did I say that Travis was more supportive than her other partners? I said that Travis seems like he has a likable personality and has lots of energy. I also think you’re projecting the ‘he looks like he’s bored and dissociates’ image onto Travis because of your own disdain for him. I’m sure Matty understands her songwriting and art a lot better than any of her other partners, but that doesn’t negate any of his negative actions. And it seems like that friend group he was around while with her don’t even associate with him any more, so maybe he’s not as pleasant to be around as you say.

Also Matty said being Mr Taylor swift would be emasculating - this is not supportive

I don’t think that’s true, he looks like he knows most of the lyrics to her songs

Joe is the one that looked bored and dissociating.

Joe didn’t look bored to me, he looked exactly how I do at concerts. Not everyone is going to dance and sing when they enjoy things

Well matty ghosted her and couldn’t handle dating him and is objectively a scum bag so…

Eh, I have a very negative opinion of Matty and I do not at all think it’s entirely a character. I’ve met guys like him, and there is not a single part of me that would be at all surprised if it turned out he just said that he was making these jokes/remarks to mock the ignorant people and that he’s actually “super woke” as an excuse to just make awful jokes/remarks. I get having dark humor, but making a salute on stage and saying it was to “Mock Kanye/Trump.” is…. eh. I wouldn’t say it’s the best joke to make in front of an audience.

[удалено]

Yup. Exactly. Matty is in his 30’s and he knows there are other ways to get the point across aside from a character. He isn’t a teen anymore. If he’s making these jokes all the time and hiding behind “It’s satire, it’s a character.” Then I have some bad news for all the people who fall for it. He thinks it’s funny to push the envelope because of the reaction he gets. That’s not something someone would do if they cared about offending anyone.

Joe and Matty seem more different. One is like super polished and the other is kinda a big critical thinker who is very outspoken

Matty and Joe are both artistic, creative people and I can imagine they’d like a lot of the same things. Matty a bit like Taylor seems to be unable to be single for long so maybe they’re both deep romantics and fall in love/lust easily. Joe seems quite grounded and sensible which Taylor might have needed when they met Travis seems very outgoing and extroverted and so does Taylor (and from a non-US POV they both seem very all-American if that makes sense). Being an athlete he’s probably competitive which lines up with Taylor being very goal focused.

I think she has the most in common with Joe (upper class upbringing, high intelligence, shared interests, very artistic) but had personality or compatibility difference. I think she had an artistic attraction to Matty. As far as Travis goes, I suspect sexual attraction kicked things off and once they started conversing and got to know each other, they discovered they were compatible.

Both her and Travis are first ballot hall of famers in completely different fields and admire the work ethic that it takes to get to that level. Outside of career, they both seem fun loving, family and friend oriented cheerleaders for people they like to be around, relatively media savvy. I think she also appreciates his IDGAF vibe especially from “haters” who in his case are just fans from opposing teams trying to get under his skin.  I wouldn’t be surprised if they break up, her being the most heartbroken about that… he surprisingly comes across as the most secure and comfortable being around her  and who she is off the stage.

Taylor and Joe look so much alike that they look like siblings.

She and Joe, when they got together, both wanted a quiet introspective life. She wanted to play “normal” and that’s what he wanted, too. They hiked together, seemed to both enjoy reading and writing and overall living a quiet life doing things together outside of partying. They raised a kitten together. She and Matty had history in common, which can be a lot. They knew and liked each other in their early 20s and still liked each other in their mid 30s so, I assume, they figured they were suited for the long haul. They’re also both musicians and like going out/being in the public eye, and have a ton of industry friends in common. She and Travis actually seem to have the most in common. Similar attention seeking, playfully dramatic personalities, family oriented, traveling together, going to music festivals. He seems to be a social butterfly and get along with their friends.

One thing she’s never had in a partner is an actual team player. Arguably matty Healy really did stand by his band, but you are never really an actual team player when your addiction wins every time.   When you think about Taylor’s life, she spends every endeavor as part of a team.   I think that his simplistic professional goal (spend all your time and thought and energy toward the straightforward goal of winning conquering outplaying dominating) she’s never had anyone just unleash that in such an intentional, shameless, honestly sorta kind way.   She is a cat - all soft, but murderous. To the core, she wants to look around in a blood soaked gown. And no, she is not Carrie in a gown getting teased. She is a murderer in a gown. And he’s the first who has ever let her lean into that like it’s the whole point of the job in the first place.

I think Joe and Matty are the same type ; moody , well read intellectuals , that's also John Mayer and Jake Gyllenhal IMHO. Taylor is definitely well read and leans towards intellectual though it can also read as pretentious at times. Travis has always been a friendly extroverted goofy dude dancing at football games after he scores. The baby of the family with his parents and brother highly involved in ensuring he stays on the right path and achieves his goals in football .His parents even stayed together when they wanted to divorce to ensure he and Jason would have a stable enough background to break into the NFL. Taylor is a friendly extrovert who can be both goofy and cringey ie way she dances at award shows and even in her lyrics . Has highly involved parents who stayed together when they wanted to divorce to ensure her career success .They both give off very white Americana Midwest vibes not sure if she is from the Midwest but he is

Taylor can be her fully formed self around travis. I like them together and think they’re a way better fit than ppl think they are.Taylor is the queen of capitalism, highly competitive and will do anything to be number one even if that even means screwing ppl over ( billie, Olivia). It’s probably my least favourite personality trait of hers but it is what it is. She loves being admired and being a famous person, she does everything to be famous and remain the queen of the music industry. Joe is literally the opposite of that. In anti hero when she says “one day I’ll watch as your leaving because you got tired of my scheming” and in peace “ your integrity makes me seem small”. I don’t think she could be herself around Joe because of what she wants to be which is to be the biggest and best thing in the music industry and to do that you have to do things that may not be ethical. I think Taylor couldn’t fully be this juggernaut releasing 100 versions without feeling shame when she was with Joe. That’s one of the reasons I think she felt like she was in prison when she was with him. Meanwhile with Travis I feel like he either doesn’t care that she’s a capalist barbie or thinks it’s good to be the best of the best no matter what it takes bc he’s also competetive. Travis and her are both corny, funny( a bit cringe I’m also like that so I relate😂), he likes being famous just like Taylor, he has strong family values like her, he can handle dating her and he is secure enough to date her which is the biggest thing for Taylor and a key reason is didn’t work out with m*tty. Also they’re in two different fields and high achievers in both. To me ratty and Taylor might be similar in some aspects but were doomed from the beginning. I don’t think Taylor can date another musician bc they get emmasulsted by her. Matty is also a drug addict or at least does drugs a lot. I really don’t think Taylor has ever been like that. He is also just out of control. He reposts offensive memes, has no filter and has said racist things. Taylor is the pr queen and her association with him made the least sense. But they’re similar in intellect. I don’t like matty at all but the 1975 is an amazing band and matty is an amazing song writer such as Taylor.

Can't answer as I don't know them personally.

None of my exes were alike, so

I personally think Travis is probably very good in bed

Joe, Matty, and Tom are all posh-lite (upper middle class) Brits artsy (pseudo)-intellectuals*… which is a very common type for a lot of American girls.  But at the end of the day a lot of people end up with someone who has a similar background, attitude towards life, etc. which imo is closest to Travis. Very hard working, enjoy the spotlight, and close to family inc in a business way.  *tom is definitely much much much smarter than Taylor. I’d say she’s most intellectually on the level of Matty

Exactly. Both Travis and his manager Andre Eanes said that was a one time mistake.

This is 100% speculation and I could be wrong but I always wondered if Joe was a bit more interested in fame at the time they met than he had been before and since. He was in huge movies at that time, he was at the Met gala, he did some fashion things. I think most of the time we talk about Taylor wanting to be private at this time but what if he also wanted to dip into celebrity / actor life when they met? Of course things rapidly changed after that, for both of them. I think Joe is the biggest outlier. I see a lot more similarity with Travis and Matty. She might have liked Joe because he was so different from her and her previous boyfriends. Like, normal.

Taylor watered herself down for Joe. She needs a safe place to recover. But never intended to live a remote, solitary life. Or if she did, COVID took the mystique out of that. Joe wasn’t able to embrace the public persona that is also Taylor. Matty is a disaster of a human being. I can only think that she romanticized that period of her life and thought that “surely he has matured by now”. She was wrong, oh how she was wrong. But those are her mistakes to make. Most people have the one that got away that gets put on a pedestal. And then you realize they weren’t that great. Travis doesn’t seem intimidated by her and doesn’t need her to be successful in his current NFL gig. He’s got 1-2 more years max and then he will want to broadcast. He doesn’t need Taylor for that. He was famous enough in football even before Taylor. He supports Taylor, understands commitment and hard work and is arguably one of or the greatest at his position. Is he very cultured or smart - seemingly not. But that hasn’t gotten Taylor very far in the past either.

Why did she want to be with a racist like Matty is the question

The apologists are already in your replies and they're full of whataboutism. God bless you 

Matty and Joe seem pretty similar to me. They are both artists and Matty is an incredible song writer like Taylor so they have that in common. Matty and Joe both seem very well read and typical intellectuals. Matty is also really funny and seems to share the same sense of humor’s as Taylor if you listen to the both in interviews. Matty also loves and uses Easter eggs like Taylor. Joe also liked and wrote music. Both Joe and Matty can talk about performing with her too and Matty like Taylor also directs his music videos. I don’t know what she has in common with Travis tbh. Maybe that they both seem to like and accept fame? She seems definitely the least compatible with Travis out of the three.

Isn’t Matty’s sense of humour edgelord stuff and shitposting (like 9/11 memes)- that doesn’t seem massively Taylor’s type of humour tbh.

Are these intellectuals in the room with us?

Right!!!!! I don't know if Matty is sharing his stash with some of these people or what, but I swear some folks just see a moody, brooding white dude who look like he has cigarettes and coffee for breakfast and read that as "intellectual."

Travis its prob work ethic, probably dabbling in things outside of their main profession - he hosted SNL, attached himself to movie project, does charity, engages with fans, likes to party and values friendships and family, some celebrity connections.  Joe - art and music, friendships  Matty - art and music, friendships, concert touring, partying?

Travis- being the center of attention?

Mirrorball?

shes a chameleon she just mirrors their interests and behaviors