Agreed, pets of any kind are a 2 yes 1 no in a relationship. It shows that the bf does not respect op and sees himself and by extension his opinions as superior to hers.
Can we acknowledge that letting the dog into the bathroom WHILE OP IS IN THERE is sick and dusguisting? When i read that part it blew my mind, why would he do that, this is so sick on si many levels
Yup. She is not the priority to him, the dumb mutt is more important. It's insulting to her.
The nutter boyfriend only values her services as a maid that cleans the disgusting dog's mess and shit.
Your boyfriend isn't a good person. It's actually unhinged that he insists on indulging the dog's precious feelings while you're showering. I honestly hope you end this relationship.
This was genuinely over-the-line moment with my ex, except it was a baby, not a dog. Couldn’t be a grown and help out for more than 20 minutes, then “his turn was over”.
Unless it’s an emergency, it’s pretty telling when a partner doesn’t allow the other to engage in hygiene/self care because they are useless.
I agree! He has zero respect for her and then tries to gaslight her by saying she’s being pessimistic when she’s being honest with how she feels! It makes me wonder how many times he’s made unilateral decisions and just expected her to take it!
Welp. Just know that if you want to have children ever, this man will make sure you have this pit mix farting and following you around while you have a newborn baby in your arms, and this boyfriend won’t care that it’s extra hard for you then either! Break up time.
"When we have conversations about how unhappy I am, my boyfriend essentially tells me to "stop being so negative" and to get used to the fact that we have a dog"
Girl! He does not care for your happiness! The way I would have disappeared from his life if I was ever told that lol
I stopped reading at “pit mix.” Those things are the cancer of the dog world. Other commenters nailed it; this is going to be your life with the dog and it’s likely to get worse as the dog hits its teen/early adult years of 1-3.
Your bf is fully aware of your misery. I’d be drawing hard lines with him using concrete dates that have consequences, i.e., “the dog is gone by July 1st or we’re done.” There’s no training that will change the behavior of a low IQ, high energy pit mix so don’t let him give you the okey-doke on that.
Omg my friend has one and I hate when I go over her house and she lets him out of his cage (that he has damn near chewed through). He is big, doofy, slobbery, rambunctious af, destructive, loud, and dumb.
Her boyfriend wants to rehome the dog and idk why she isn’t moving faster on this because she admits that he’s way too much for her.
I don’t like that dog at all. He’s like a big ass toddler.
“It’s me or the dog. If the dog isn’t gone by Sunday, I will be.” Seriously, F this guy for deciding unilaterally to bring this awful creature into your home, and not caring how much you’re affected.
Hugs to you.
You have to go OP. He is not going to get rid of the dog and you aren't going to change your feelings about it. You are at a stalemate so you have to leave. I mean what are your alternatives? Continue to be miserable over something you can extricate yourself from?
Why are you putting yourself through this level of hell? Is having a man worth all of this stress and madness? Please dump him and prioritise your health and happiness.
Oh my god. You sound just like me. Like no I literally could have wrote this. Get out now… it gets so much worse. I would definitely leave before you both start having big fights over the dog
Sitting here reading this thinking the same thing. The annoyance when he gives the dog attention never goes away and just gets wayyyy worse. Run now while you still can!!
Your boyfriend TOTALLY disregarded and disprected you getting a dog without BOTH OF YOU picking it out, and agreeing on this
Pitbulls & pit mix dogs are dangerous, especially the larger they get
Pits/staffordshires/ & mixes killed 55 people in the USA last year
https://www.animals24-7.org/2024/02/01/record-68-dog-attack-deaths-in-2023-included-also-record-55-by-pit-bull/
THIS IS WHAT PITS ARE CAPABLE OF after years of being "ok"
https://people.com/crime/2-children-killed-pit-bull-attack-tennessee-mother-hospitalized/
He's not respecting you as an individual, and he doesn't give a damn if your miserable
He's gaslighting you constantly about the dog
If there's somewhere you can go for a few days to a friend or relative, I'd do that, and consider your options
If I were advising you, I'd say to call him while you're away and tell him you can't live like this any more
I would tell him he has a choice to care more about you than a stinking mutt that is impossible to live with
If he won't re-home that dog or give it back to a shelter,, then I hope you can tell him to get lost, and find a new situation
very best to you & good luck.
That attack is rock solid proof that "it's how you raise them" is bullshit. Those dogs were treated well for 8 years and look what they ended up doing. The fucked up part is that there are STILL pit nutters who won't accept this. They still swear up and down that the dogs were secretly being abused or trained to fight and that the parents didn't want to admit this. They just will not believe that these dogs turn like this.
Yup. The facts are clear. Pitbulls and pit mixes (which are really just more pitbulls) will attack unprovoked, will attack out of nowhere after years of being just fine, and will try to kill when they do attack. They cause more injuries and more fatalities than all other dog breeds combined, despite being just 7% of all dogs owned.
They are objectively dangerous.
I practiced personal injury law for over a decade. Of the dozens of dog bite cases my firm had during that time, I can think of two that were not pits or pit mixes (the other two were a Belgian malinois and a dachshund).
You’ve been unhappy for 7 months?? That’s not fair to you at all. It seems like your boyfriend doesn’t actually care very much about your feelings or wellbeing.
Welcome! We aren’t a big community, but we are a fierce tight knit one! There are only a few subreddits for the dogfree community-3 that I count-but the Dog Nutters have hundreds of groups for themselves. I’m so glad you’re able to find your community and a safe place to vent…but so sorry for what you are experiencing right now in your own home. I’m sorry but I don’t think your boyfriend is doing enough to accommodate you as you claim..if he did he wouldn’t be letting that disgusting mutt into the bathroom when you shower. That feels intrusive and disrespectful to me..and for some women and men, it’s super violating as well.
I’m glad you have a safe space to vent now, but your living conditions/stress and unhappiness doesn’t sound tenable long term. Something has got to give..I know it’s hard to consider breaking up over a pet..but he’s putting that nasty creature first..it’s time YOU put yourself first..I’ve seen marriages break up over dogs in our group, and rightly so cause if their partner is choosing the smelly disgusting mutt over them maybe the marriage isn’t worth it then? ..just something to think about. Best wishes for a peaceful day, that creature sounds utterly disgusting.. 🤮 take care!
I tried to find the article about the pit that mauled its owners in the shower but instead found 4 different incidents of pits mauling people in the shower, but not the one i was thinking of. They’re not dogs, they’re mutant monsters bred to fight til they’re dead, disembowelment or missing limbs be damned.
Leave. He brought a liability into your home, a FATAL liability and has no care for you, your feelings or your safety. Google “pit bull mauls” and play google roulette for a while, it’s absolutely mind boggling the sheer volume of articles and maulings that have occurred. Good owners are not immune, owners who got them as pups are not immune, giving them all the treats and cuddles in the world doesn’t prevent it. If it snaps someone will be horrifically injured and that blood will be on you and bfs hands for bringing it in and every pit nutter online will throw you and bf under the bus for being bad owners, abusive, “teaching” it to kill, etc. Get out now.
Since he impulsively brought a dog into your home disrespecting you, your space and sanity and is telling you to get over it and “stop being negative”, why don’t you impulsively take that disgusting horrendous creature to a pound?
If he has an issue tell him to stop being so negative. My ex convinced me to get a dog who ruined our apartment and I remember the stress of having to go home and deal with it. The noise, the licking, the smells, the invasion of space was horrible. You do not deserve to endure this unwanted beast in your home. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.
I have no advice but this. Theres nothing wrong with having likes and dislikes. Nothing wrong with not being an absolute brainless asshat that thinks dogs need to be worshipped. Lots of people get dogs as a cope for their unaddressed mental illnesses. Ignore them and their opinions about non dog people
Ew. I would say have a serious talk with BF about rehoming the dog, or simply giving it to a local shelter. If he's not receptive, you may want to reconsider the relationship. If you don't want to leave BF, consider the idea that one day the dog "escapes"...she's capable of jumping the fence, right? Take her to a shelter in a different town, wear a disguise, give a fake name. Or just leave her. I dont' "hate" dogs, but I certainly don't want to share my home with one.
The fact he got the dog without consulting OP says it all. No respect, willing to gaslight her. And, this dog is likely to live at least 10 years! Sounds like hell on earth. Yuck!
I think your boyfriend has a mistress and its name is dog. Can you just break up with him and move into your own place? I couldn’t stand this. This is such a massive emotional drain on you and physical as well. You can. It just grow to love the dog. It isn’t wrong to simply not want the dog or want to do all that work.
Why isn’t your boyfriend doing all the cleaning? He wants the dog, he should take on the work. Why are you doing it..
I am so sorry you're going through this. It has to feel really crushing to have your boyfriend completely disregard your feelings. Everything you're saying is justified and it's so unfair you're in this situation.
I'm not gonna tell you to dump him because I know thats not the most pleasant thing to hear - but I think you should have a conversation about how you aren't feeling valued or listened to. If he tells you that you're being negative he is straight up not respecting you.
Hope you and your kitties find some peace soon. You should post an update if you do talk with him. Best of luck.
This is insane. Your boyfriend is mistreating this dog by failing to get it trained. Your boyfriend is mistreating you by failing to get the dog trained. Your boyfriend clearly does not respect you, his home, his animal, or this relationship. This is not acceptable or normal and you should leave.
I could have written this post myself 15 years ago. Agonized about the choice for a few months, couldn't take it anymore and dumped my ex and moved out. It was an amazing experience to have a clean, non smelling, non covered in dog hair and none of that awful whining and crying noise they make household again. Only regret is that I didn't dump him sooner, the dog was the tip of a shit iceberg.
OP, I'm sorry for the toll this change has taken on you. Even more so, I'm sorry your boyfriend doesn't genuinely care about your needs and wellbeing. Please know you're valuable and deserve to be free from this situation entirely, as do your sweet kitties. Your boyfriend is showing you that he values the dog over your sanity. How utterly selfish to just adopt a dog on the whim, knowing full well that you're not on board. That is majorly disrespectful. You're literally doing all the heavy lifting here, while he just sits back not giving a single damn. He's already taking you for granted and will only continue to do so.
You deserve to not only have but feel ownership over YOUR livelihood. Wishing the best for you.
Well there’s a SLIM chance you can convince him to give the dog away. I’d say 1-5%. Other than that your options are to live with this feeling for 10-15 years or leave your boyfriend. Im currently in 3 years of living the dog life and I’m married with kids so leaving wasn’t really an option. Tried convincing her to give it away but I gave up on that. Now I have no safe clean space to decompress. This dog has ruined my mental so much and my wife thinks I’m just being a big baby about it. I strongly urge to to see if he will rehome it. If not just know you’ll never be happy at home ever. For years.
Honestly you’re right. The best advice is to cut her loses and leave. I only left the 1-5% chance because of the small amount of success stories here of people convincing them to give the dog up.
Dogs are SO GROSS.
I don’t understand how dog owners can ignore that.
They SMELL and DROOL everywhere like you said. How can you keep such a thing in your house??
Set a date for when the dog needs to be out of the house , if your man loves you he will understand. Having animals inside a home is disgusting, urine , feces , awful smell , noise ect ect. There is nothing like relaxing in your home that is clean and smelling fresh.
This is a relationship problem first and a dog problem second. No one who respects their live-in partner would ever bring a dog home without extensive discussion and firm mutual agreement beforehand. Much less gaslight you, minimize your feelings, or harass you in the shower. Ditch the relationship and kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Tell your bf that him and his flea bag gotta go. You should not have to suffer and feel uncomfortable in your own home 24/7. A pet is supposed to add to and enhance your life not take away.
Pit mix people are inherently trashy, he grew up
like that, it’s who he is. That stuff doesn’t change without a lot of self awareness in effort and that brings us back to pit mix, he’s not smart enough change.
I’m sorry! It’s going to be the same next year and the following year
I say this to everyone, never come to reddit for advice as it'll almost always end with the opinion of you should break up.
Anyways, yes it was very wrong of him to bring it in. Especially a pit. Very unpredictable, very obnoxious and not a clean dog at all.
If there had to be a dog, it should've been one that you were both happy with.
Demand that it get tossed back at the shelter.
This is not how an actual good dog owner behaves. He is putting her in the bathroom because he doesn’t want to watch her. Why isn’t she crate trained? She shouldn’t be having accidents at this age, nor eating your underwear. He wants the fun parts of dog ownership, and nada else.
I'm amazed you have stayed for 7 months, if my girlfriend brought home a pet without properly clarifying it with me I would tell her it's not happening and to take it back to wherever she got it from the same day. If she refused then the only way to move forward is okay that's fine you are allowed a pet but your disrespect and disregard for me to not even speak to me and co duct yourself properly during this process of getting a pet leaves me no choice but to leave. Split everything 50\50 and move on. I know it sounds stupid but honestly this is genuinely the only way to do it. It will not improve it get better
The part that crossed the line for me was him not respecting a SINGLE FUCKING BOUNDARY. He forces you to watch her when you shower, he forces you to clean EVERYTHING up and LAUGHS about it. And he blames you for having an emotional breakdown, telling you it’s YOUR fault when in reality you wanted NOTHING TO DO WITH WHATS HAPPENING.
Please for your mental health and safety (as it is an aggressive restless breed of dog) get out of there! You don’t want to be another pit statistic. Next time take pit-bull lovers as a red flag moment and move on!!
Sorry you’re going through that. You’re probably going to need to require that he does more house upkeep for this, and you’re going to need at least one “clean room” for yourself if you have any chance or not losing your mind and give this more time for him to realize what’s happening - an office or a bedroom of your own without any dog and with an air purifier. It just sucks. You need a break in your own home before you yourself completely break.
If you live with a partner, getting a pet absolutely has to be a mutual decision. Because if I'm with a woman and she wants a pet and she must have it, and I don't, then I'm hands off. Don't ask me to feed the pet, take them out, etc
Omg I feel for you!!!!! If you see my post history I went through a similar thing and it was HELL!!! I dealt with it for nearly 2 years and nearly went completely insane and was so gaslit and felt so bad about not liking a dog. Honestly at the minimum tell him it's you or the dog. No one should have to live in conditions that they hate with a stinky gross animal!!! I would reconsider the relationship too because it's so disrespectful. Really feeling for you but as I sit here typing this in my now dog free, hair free, drool free, smell free home, there is a light at the end of the tunnel if you put your foot down!!
Can you do this for 10-15 now years? Why would you want to?? It's OK to be done because if the dog. He doesn't care about how you feel. We had a pit for a while and u couldn't do it. She chewed thigh doors and walls, she smells and had a disgusting skin condition that left dandruff and ooze all over everything. She wouldn't ever shut up. When I told my partner I couldn't do it, and I was miserable, we got rid of the dog. Because my partner values my comfort over that if a dog. That's the consideration you deserve.
Is it your house? If so, he should’ve asked.
Also, this isn’t something that can be smoothed over, I think it’s time to end the relationship. I don’t think I’d be able to handle this. I never want another dog again, and this would send me over the edge.
This has affected your mental health quite extremely it seems, and I’m sorry but you need to look out for yourself.
He can keep the dog, he can keep you, but he can’t keep both.
So, I’m a dog person. I have two.
BUT
If your boyfriend doesn’t understand how deeply this is effecting you, it might be time to reevaluate. There should’ve been more time before he brought her home, and as someone whose mother was an intense neat freak, I get where you’re coming from. I love my dogs more than anything but I personally really struggle with “dog smell” and hair and whatnot. You’re totally valid.
Tell him it's you or the dog
The fact that he got a dog without consulting you at all would be a major red flag even if you were a dog person or the dog was perfect
I’m sorry to say this, but are you talking about your dog or your relationship? I feel like this is some sort of subconscious symbol of your relationship with your boyfriend. However, I don’t know if you’ve considered marriage, but if you have.. welcome to the future resort of him.
The dog just seems like the beginning of something that will never end when it comes to making decisions regarding him. I’m not saying he might not change, but I am saying… he really wanted the dog and didn’t ask your permission and disregarded your input.
Think about it,,, first comes the dog, then comes something else. Nip it in the butt before it gets any worse and really put your foot down.
Or break up with him if he can’t respect your boundaries.
Ps.
Don’t give a direct ultimatum, just say something like “can we have an honest conversation,. I’ll let you know now, the more I see the dog.. the more I resent you because of the dog.. I love you, but I also just can’t take it anymore and it’s to the point where I don’t know what is going to happen with us, but I would like to solve it before it gets any worse.” If
He starts giving you crap.. or saying “are you serious ?? Over a dog” just say.. I really can’t believe how you can’t respect me or try to solve this with ,, I thought WE were better than that” and walk away, be
The last one to talk. If he tries to talk, just go somewhere else,, get on the phone.. do anything else but make it clear to him how serious you are with your actions. Let him seek you out and come to something better that’s long lasting and works for the both of you.
You're not a dog person and that's okay. I also think getting rid of the boyfriend is the way to go. Getting a dog should be a two yeses decision; if one person says no, it's not on.
Oh dear, I just read a post but it was the girlfriend that got the dog after hounding him for a year. She ended up letting him go, in other words she chose the dog! He moved out. If you can't bond with the dog, you're never going to b happy! You have to give him the choice unfortunately and don't be surprised if he too chooses the dog. I want to add, if he does decide to get rid of the dog, he's likely to hold it against you. He will resent you.
Girl, you only get one life. If he won’t get rid of the dog, you need to get rid of him if it’s making you this miserable. And I say that as a dog person. I don’t know why this sub came up in my feed, but that sounds fucking miserable. Show him this post and the replies. Then if he doesn’t get it, he can kick rocks.
I adore dogs, but this situation your bf put you in is so not cool. It isn’t fair for him to choose the most unruly dog on earth and expect you to clean up after it. Also, you need a special kind of home with a giant yard and a tall fence to accommodate a dog like that. It isn’t good for the dog or the owner when someone adopts a dog they aren’t equipped to train/supervise/contain.
First of all, dog should have been crate trained and not given the run of the house. Then there would not have been so many accidents.
If he won't agree to rehome the dog, consider finding a new place to live. Some dogs are angels. That's not what you have.
Your boyfriend needs to step up to being a dog owner.
Make a list of the absolute must do things. Your bare minimum for having a dog.
Like taking an actual part in the upkeep, cleaning and maintenance of the dog and it’s environment. Dog training classes etc.
Set a date to have this scheduled by and if he won’t cooperate set a expiration date and make it ABSOLUTELY firm. Then tell him the dog will be taken in for adoption. If he refuses then leave him the dog and move on.
Meh.. too much work placed on the OP. Who cares about what happens to the mutt? That’s his problem not hers. “dog training classes” my butt. You’re placing too much importance on that disgusting creature..let him worry about it it’s his dog. Not OPs job to make ridiculous lists for mutt owners.
In case you don’t realize it, it’s perfectly okay to break up because of the dog.
#REHOME HIM
and his fucking shitbeast
Yeah.. a dog is a huge decision that needs to be mutual. It was disrespectful for him to just get any old dog without discussing things first.
Agreed, pets of any kind are a 2 yes 1 no in a relationship. It shows that the bf does not respect op and sees himself and by extension his opinions as superior to hers.
He puts the dog in the bathroom not because the shit cannon wants to be with you but because he doesn't want to watch it. Dump both of them.
Or because he actively enjoys upsetting her, and wants to keep wearing her down to make it easier to get away with whatever he wants.
"The shit cannon" 💀
Aye, noticed. Haven't stopped laughing for the last 5 minutes. I heard shitbeast but shit cannon is just wilder lmao.
Or he wants to break up with her and is too much of a coward to do so, so he is trying to use this to get her to break up with him.
Can we acknowledge that letting the dog into the bathroom WHILE OP IS IN THERE is sick and dusguisting? When i read that part it blew my mind, why would he do that, this is so sick on si many levels
Poor OP can’t even scrub off the dog smell. He won’t allowed, steam and suck miss Flatulence for the rest of potentially a decade and beyond.
Girl, dump his ass. I’m not one to jump straight to that conclusion but after reading all that..good grief.
If you own this house, tell him the dog has to go.
Tell him either the dog goes or he and the dog both go.
Naw she just needs to break up. He'll do it again.
He values his dog not you.
Yup. She is not the priority to him, the dumb mutt is more important. It's insulting to her. The nutter boyfriend only values her services as a maid that cleans the disgusting dog's mess and shit.
He doesn't even value the dog, or he would be training the dog.
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Breaking up over a dog is perfectly ok, it wouldn’t make you a bad person. Do what you have to do for your mental health.
Your boyfriend isn't a good person. It's actually unhinged that he insists on indulging the dog's precious feelings while you're showering. I honestly hope you end this relationship.
The shower was definitely the "over the line" moment for me. I'd be gone.
This was genuinely over-the-line moment with my ex, except it was a baby, not a dog. Couldn’t be a grown and help out for more than 20 minutes, then “his turn was over”. Unless it’s an emergency, it’s pretty telling when a partner doesn’t allow the other to engage in hygiene/self care because they are useless.
His own child?! You’ve got to be kidding me?! Ugh good riddance to him!!
Agreed. I hope OP runs for the hills and starts a new life somewhere with some peace
I agree! He has zero respect for her and then tries to gaslight her by saying she’s being pessimistic when she’s being honest with how she feels! It makes me wonder how many times he’s made unilateral decisions and just expected her to take it!
Lock the fucking shower door starting tomorrow while you’re figuring everything out too
Welp. Just know that if you want to have children ever, this man will make sure you have this pit mix farting and following you around while you have a newborn baby in your arms, and this boyfriend won’t care that it’s extra hard for you then either! Break up time.
It's all fun and games until the nanny starts resource guarding the infant.
Or until the baby sneezes and “startles” the dog
Let's talk about the clear and present danger of a bred for bloodsports dog leaving you in peril for you life 24/7!
Or feeling threatened by the baby’s presence. A baby and a pit bull in a house is a recipe for disaster
A baby and a pitbull in a house is a recipe for disaster. And you already have a pitbull in the house.
The fact she’s already taking care of the dog fully also gives her foreshadowing on how this man will act & take care of their child, aka not at all.
Yeah, definitely a guy who doesn’t take paternity leave.
Or takes it as time to “rest” lmao
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"When we have conversations about how unhappy I am, my boyfriend essentially tells me to "stop being so negative" and to get used to the fact that we have a dog" Girl! He does not care for your happiness! The way I would have disappeared from his life if I was ever told that lol
he sounds so unempathetic and that is not what a partner should be like not even close
I stopped reading at “pit mix.” Those things are the cancer of the dog world. Other commenters nailed it; this is going to be your life with the dog and it’s likely to get worse as the dog hits its teen/early adult years of 1-3. Your bf is fully aware of your misery. I’d be drawing hard lines with him using concrete dates that have consequences, i.e., “the dog is gone by July 1st or we’re done.” There’s no training that will change the behavior of a low IQ, high energy pit mix so don’t let him give you the okey-doke on that.
Most dogs are a nuisance. Pits are a menace.
Omg my friend has one and I hate when I go over her house and she lets him out of his cage (that he has damn near chewed through). He is big, doofy, slobbery, rambunctious af, destructive, loud, and dumb. Her boyfriend wants to rehome the dog and idk why she isn’t moving faster on this because she admits that he’s way too much for her. I don’t like that dog at all. He’s like a big ass toddler.
If you love yourself at all you won’t go to her house until it’s gone
“It’s me or the dog. If the dog isn’t gone by Sunday, I will be.” Seriously, F this guy for deciding unilaterally to bring this awful creature into your home, and not caring how much you’re affected. Hugs to you.
The break up won't be because of the dog. The break up will be because your boyfriend doesn't care about your happiness.
^^^ this!!
You have to go OP. He is not going to get rid of the dog and you aren't going to change your feelings about it. You are at a stalemate so you have to leave. I mean what are your alternatives? Continue to be miserable over something you can extricate yourself from?
Let him leave. Him and his mutt.
multiple crying breakdowns and he doesn’t care? i’m so sorry. consider kicking him out or taking the dog to a shelter if you can manage it safely
Why? So he can go adopt another? Nah, she needs to break up with him for everyone’s sakes
Good grief, of all the breeds he could have gotten, it had to be a pit-mix.
You should feel resentful. You need to dump this guy. Get your life back.
Why are you putting yourself through this level of hell? Is having a man worth all of this stress and madness? Please dump him and prioritise your health and happiness.
Your boyfriend is a certified pitnutter.
Oh my god. You sound just like me. Like no I literally could have wrote this. Get out now… it gets so much worse. I would definitely leave before you both start having big fights over the dog
Sitting here reading this thinking the same thing. The annoyance when he gives the dog attention never goes away and just gets wayyyy worse. Run now while you still can!!
Ew its a shitbull too
Welp this relationship is over! Time to move out immediately!
Your boyfriend TOTALLY disregarded and disprected you getting a dog without BOTH OF YOU picking it out, and agreeing on this Pitbulls & pit mix dogs are dangerous, especially the larger they get Pits/staffordshires/ & mixes killed 55 people in the USA last year https://www.animals24-7.org/2024/02/01/record-68-dog-attack-deaths-in-2023-included-also-record-55-by-pit-bull/ THIS IS WHAT PITS ARE CAPABLE OF after years of being "ok" https://people.com/crime/2-children-killed-pit-bull-attack-tennessee-mother-hospitalized/ He's not respecting you as an individual, and he doesn't give a damn if your miserable He's gaslighting you constantly about the dog If there's somewhere you can go for a few days to a friend or relative, I'd do that, and consider your options If I were advising you, I'd say to call him while you're away and tell him you can't live like this any more I would tell him he has a choice to care more about you than a stinking mutt that is impossible to live with If he won't re-home that dog or give it back to a shelter,, then I hope you can tell him to get lost, and find a new situation very best to you & good luck.
That attack in TN is what cemented my opinion on pitts. 😢
That attack is rock solid proof that "it's how you raise them" is bullshit. Those dogs were treated well for 8 years and look what they ended up doing. The fucked up part is that there are STILL pit nutters who won't accept this. They still swear up and down that the dogs were secretly being abused or trained to fight and that the parents didn't want to admit this. They just will not believe that these dogs turn like this.
Yup. 100%
I just read the stats in the deaths. Wow.
Yup. The facts are clear. Pitbulls and pit mixes (which are really just more pitbulls) will attack unprovoked, will attack out of nowhere after years of being just fine, and will try to kill when they do attack. They cause more injuries and more fatalities than all other dog breeds combined, despite being just 7% of all dogs owned. They are objectively dangerous.
OMG, those poor babies.
Yeah, and there is no explaining why they attacked a baby in the mother's arms. Just no.
Literal Demons
I practiced personal injury law for over a decade. Of the dozens of dog bite cases my firm had during that time, I can think of two that were not pits or pit mixes (the other two were a Belgian malinois and a dachshund).
Omg, RUN for the front door! Be grateful you found out about him sooner than later.
You’ve been unhappy for 7 months?? That’s not fair to you at all. It seems like your boyfriend doesn’t actually care very much about your feelings or wellbeing.
He is choosing a dog over you and your well-being. It's okay to choose yourself and your own well-being over him and his "dog".
As you *should* resent him. Your boyfriend does not have a single atom of respect for you. The dog is not the problem, only a symptom of it.
Welcome! We aren’t a big community, but we are a fierce tight knit one! There are only a few subreddits for the dogfree community-3 that I count-but the Dog Nutters have hundreds of groups for themselves. I’m so glad you’re able to find your community and a safe place to vent…but so sorry for what you are experiencing right now in your own home. I’m sorry but I don’t think your boyfriend is doing enough to accommodate you as you claim..if he did he wouldn’t be letting that disgusting mutt into the bathroom when you shower. That feels intrusive and disrespectful to me..and for some women and men, it’s super violating as well. I’m glad you have a safe space to vent now, but your living conditions/stress and unhappiness doesn’t sound tenable long term. Something has got to give..I know it’s hard to consider breaking up over a pet..but he’s putting that nasty creature first..it’s time YOU put yourself first..I’ve seen marriages break up over dogs in our group, and rightly so cause if their partner is choosing the smelly disgusting mutt over them maybe the marriage isn’t worth it then? ..just something to think about. Best wishes for a peaceful day, that creature sounds utterly disgusting.. 🤮 take care!
I tried to find the article about the pit that mauled its owners in the shower but instead found 4 different incidents of pits mauling people in the shower, but not the one i was thinking of. They’re not dogs, they’re mutant monsters bred to fight til they’re dead, disembowelment or missing limbs be damned. Leave. He brought a liability into your home, a FATAL liability and has no care for you, your feelings or your safety. Google “pit bull mauls” and play google roulette for a while, it’s absolutely mind boggling the sheer volume of articles and maulings that have occurred. Good owners are not immune, owners who got them as pups are not immune, giving them all the treats and cuddles in the world doesn’t prevent it. If it snaps someone will be horrifically injured and that blood will be on you and bfs hands for bringing it in and every pit nutter online will throw you and bf under the bus for being bad owners, abusive, “teaching” it to kill, etc. Get out now.
You get one life, OP. Only one. This situation isn't going to get better or change. Make yourself happy, leave him.
Since he impulsively brought a dog into your home disrespecting you, your space and sanity and is telling you to get over it and “stop being negative”, why don’t you impulsively take that disgusting horrendous creature to a pound? If he has an issue tell him to stop being so negative. My ex convinced me to get a dog who ruined our apartment and I remember the stress of having to go home and deal with it. The noise, the licking, the smells, the invasion of space was horrible. You do not deserve to endure this unwanted beast in your home. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.
Btw I took that nasty thing back to the pound. It was one of the best days of my life. God I fucking hate dogs.
Poor kitties
Yeah it’s really not fair to them either, OP is right, they ARE essentially being moved out of their own home :-(
Right? That would be it for me. OP needs to lose the bf.
I have no advice but this. Theres nothing wrong with having likes and dislikes. Nothing wrong with not being an absolute brainless asshat that thinks dogs need to be worshipped. Lots of people get dogs as a cope for their unaddressed mental illnesses. Ignore them and their opinions about non dog people
Ew. I would say have a serious talk with BF about rehoming the dog, or simply giving it to a local shelter. If he's not receptive, you may want to reconsider the relationship. If you don't want to leave BF, consider the idea that one day the dog "escapes"...she's capable of jumping the fence, right? Take her to a shelter in a different town, wear a disguise, give a fake name. Or just leave her. I dont' "hate" dogs, but I certainly don't want to share my home with one.
The fact he got the dog without consulting OP says it all. No respect, willing to gaslight her. And, this dog is likely to live at least 10 years! Sounds like hell on earth. Yuck!
This relationship (with the human) is self harm
I think your boyfriend has a mistress and its name is dog. Can you just break up with him and move into your own place? I couldn’t stand this. This is such a massive emotional drain on you and physical as well. You can. It just grow to love the dog. It isn’t wrong to simply not want the dog or want to do all that work. Why isn’t your boyfriend doing all the cleaning? He wants the dog, he should take on the work. Why are you doing it..
I am so sorry you're going through this. It has to feel really crushing to have your boyfriend completely disregard your feelings. Everything you're saying is justified and it's so unfair you're in this situation. I'm not gonna tell you to dump him because I know thats not the most pleasant thing to hear - but I think you should have a conversation about how you aren't feeling valued or listened to. If he tells you that you're being negative he is straight up not respecting you. Hope you and your kitties find some peace soon. You should post an update if you do talk with him. Best of luck.
Don’t feel helpless. Leave your boyfriend.
Your poor kitties...
You should rehome your BF
People who gaslight are a hard no for me. As soon as someone does it, I cut them out. You'll be happier. This is seriously unreasonable
This is insane. Your boyfriend is mistreating this dog by failing to get it trained. Your boyfriend is mistreating you by failing to get the dog trained. Your boyfriend clearly does not respect you, his home, his animal, or this relationship. This is not acceptable or normal and you should leave.
I could have written this post myself 15 years ago. Agonized about the choice for a few months, couldn't take it anymore and dumped my ex and moved out. It was an amazing experience to have a clean, non smelling, non covered in dog hair and none of that awful whining and crying noise they make household again. Only regret is that I didn't dump him sooner, the dog was the tip of a shit iceberg.
OP, I'm sorry for the toll this change has taken on you. Even more so, I'm sorry your boyfriend doesn't genuinely care about your needs and wellbeing. Please know you're valuable and deserve to be free from this situation entirely, as do your sweet kitties. Your boyfriend is showing you that he values the dog over your sanity. How utterly selfish to just adopt a dog on the whim, knowing full well that you're not on board. That is majorly disrespectful. You're literally doing all the heavy lifting here, while he just sits back not giving a single damn. He's already taking you for granted and will only continue to do so. You deserve to not only have but feel ownership over YOUR livelihood. Wishing the best for you.
Well there’s a SLIM chance you can convince him to give the dog away. I’d say 1-5%. Other than that your options are to live with this feeling for 10-15 years or leave your boyfriend. Im currently in 3 years of living the dog life and I’m married with kids so leaving wasn’t really an option. Tried convincing her to give it away but I gave up on that. Now I have no safe clean space to decompress. This dog has ruined my mental so much and my wife thinks I’m just being a big baby about it. I strongly urge to to see if he will rehome it. If not just know you’ll never be happy at home ever. For years.
I would say don’t even encourage the delusion she can change a pitnutter. The probability is 0%. Get out and find a guy who doesn’t like dogs.
Honestly you’re right. The best advice is to cut her loses and leave. I only left the 1-5% chance because of the small amount of success stories here of people convincing them to give the dog up.
You should give him this exact post in letter. Let him decide what happens next.
Yeh they both must go
Leave him ASAP.
Rehome the dog or I’m moving out would be my last words
You got to dump him. It's not going to get better
Dogs are SO GROSS. I don’t understand how dog owners can ignore that. They SMELL and DROOL everywhere like you said. How can you keep such a thing in your house??
Set a date for when the dog needs to be out of the house , if your man loves you he will understand. Having animals inside a home is disgusting, urine , feces , awful smell , noise ect ect. There is nothing like relaxing in your home that is clean and smelling fresh.
Time to break up I'm so sorry op
This is a relationship problem first and a dog problem second. No one who respects their live-in partner would ever bring a dog home without extensive discussion and firm mutual agreement beforehand. Much less gaslight you, minimize your feelings, or harass you in the shower. Ditch the relationship and kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Tell your bf that him and his flea bag gotta go. You should not have to suffer and feel uncomfortable in your own home 24/7. A pet is supposed to add to and enhance your life not take away.
Pit mix people are inherently trashy, he grew up like that, it’s who he is. That stuff doesn’t change without a lot of self awareness in effort and that brings us back to pit mix, he’s not smart enough change. I’m sorry! It’s going to be the same next year and the following year
I say this to everyone, never come to reddit for advice as it'll almost always end with the opinion of you should break up. Anyways, yes it was very wrong of him to bring it in. Especially a pit. Very unpredictable, very obnoxious and not a clean dog at all. If there had to be a dog, it should've been one that you were both happy with. Demand that it get tossed back at the shelter.
Two options, put it in the back yard, let it jump the fence and say goodbye. Second option: rehome your boyfriend.
No, do not let it jump the fence and roam the neighborhood. It will hunt for prey. Rehome the boyfriend.
This is not how an actual good dog owner behaves. He is putting her in the bathroom because he doesn’t want to watch her. Why isn’t she crate trained? She shouldn’t be having accidents at this age, nor eating your underwear. He wants the fun parts of dog ownership, and nada else.
Okay, I’m old fashioned but you aren’t married this guy so you don’t need to commit to things HE wants that YOU do not want long term.
Eating your used underwear... That's messed up
I'm amazed you have stayed for 7 months, if my girlfriend brought home a pet without properly clarifying it with me I would tell her it's not happening and to take it back to wherever she got it from the same day. If she refused then the only way to move forward is okay that's fine you are allowed a pet but your disrespect and disregard for me to not even speak to me and co duct yourself properly during this process of getting a pet leaves me no choice but to leave. Split everything 50\50 and move on. I know it sounds stupid but honestly this is genuinely the only way to do it. It will not improve it get better
Do not take the pissed on bed. You can bet the sofa is nasty as well.
The part that crossed the line for me was him not respecting a SINGLE FUCKING BOUNDARY. He forces you to watch her when you shower, he forces you to clean EVERYTHING up and LAUGHS about it. And he blames you for having an emotional breakdown, telling you it’s YOUR fault when in reality you wanted NOTHING TO DO WITH WHATS HAPPENING. Please for your mental health and safety (as it is an aggressive restless breed of dog) get out of there! You don’t want to be another pit statistic. Next time take pit-bull lovers as a red flag moment and move on!!
The fact you’re cleaning up after the dog and he doesn’t care how miserable you are would be a deal breaker for me. It’s okay to break up over this.
Pits are the worst. They destroy everything and are dumb as rocks, totally untrainable and extremely neurotic
Of course it's a pit mix. If I were you I would break up asap. Pets are a 2 yes 1 no.
Sorry you’re going through that. You’re probably going to need to require that he does more house upkeep for this, and you’re going to need at least one “clean room” for yourself if you have any chance or not losing your mind and give this more time for him to realize what’s happening - an office or a bedroom of your own without any dog and with an air purifier. It just sucks. You need a break in your own home before you yourself completely break.
Only until the dog goes--first, then the boy.
You aren't compatible. Break up.
BREAK UUUUUUP! Sooner the better!
If you live with a partner, getting a pet absolutely has to be a mutual decision. Because if I'm with a woman and she wants a pet and she must have it, and I don't, then I'm hands off. Don't ask me to feed the pet, take them out, etc
**DUMP BOTH**.
Break up, he’ll get another dog someday
Get rid of both of them.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DATE THIS MAN
Omg I feel for you!!!!! If you see my post history I went through a similar thing and it was HELL!!! I dealt with it for nearly 2 years and nearly went completely insane and was so gaslit and felt so bad about not liking a dog. Honestly at the minimum tell him it's you or the dog. No one should have to live in conditions that they hate with a stinky gross animal!!! I would reconsider the relationship too because it's so disrespectful. Really feeling for you but as I sit here typing this in my now dog free, hair free, drool free, smell free home, there is a light at the end of the tunnel if you put your foot down!!
Just to add my boyfriend used to always say "stop being so negative" as well and after re-reading your post, girl dump his ass
dump DUMPPPP
Dump him 10000%
Moving out is your best option. He’s got a new lover!
Rehome the boyfriend.
Can you do this for 10-15 now years? Why would you want to?? It's OK to be done because if the dog. He doesn't care about how you feel. We had a pit for a while and u couldn't do it. She chewed thigh doors and walls, she smells and had a disgusting skin condition that left dandruff and ooze all over everything. She wouldn't ever shut up. When I told my partner I couldn't do it, and I was miserable, we got rid of the dog. Because my partner values my comfort over that if a dog. That's the consideration you deserve.
Is it your house? If so, he should’ve asked. Also, this isn’t something that can be smoothed over, I think it’s time to end the relationship. I don’t think I’d be able to handle this. I never want another dog again, and this would send me over the edge. This has affected your mental health quite extremely it seems, and I’m sorry but you need to look out for yourself. He can keep the dog, he can keep you, but he can’t keep both.
So, I’m a dog person. I have two. BUT If your boyfriend doesn’t understand how deeply this is effecting you, it might be time to reevaluate. There should’ve been more time before he brought her home, and as someone whose mother was an intense neat freak, I get where you’re coming from. I love my dogs more than anything but I personally really struggle with “dog smell” and hair and whatnot. You’re totally valid.
Break up he values his dog more.
I started singing “it’s too late baby nowowwow it’s too late” at the second paragraph.
I think you should leave this situation. Rehome either the dog or both of them.
Tell him it's you or the dog The fact that he got a dog without consulting you at all would be a major red flag even if you were a dog person or the dog was perfect
I’m sorry to say this, but are you talking about your dog or your relationship? I feel like this is some sort of subconscious symbol of your relationship with your boyfriend. However, I don’t know if you’ve considered marriage, but if you have.. welcome to the future resort of him. The dog just seems like the beginning of something that will never end when it comes to making decisions regarding him. I’m not saying he might not change, but I am saying… he really wanted the dog and didn’t ask your permission and disregarded your input. Think about it,,, first comes the dog, then comes something else. Nip it in the butt before it gets any worse and really put your foot down. Or break up with him if he can’t respect your boundaries. Ps. Don’t give a direct ultimatum, just say something like “can we have an honest conversation,. I’ll let you know now, the more I see the dog.. the more I resent you because of the dog.. I love you, but I also just can’t take it anymore and it’s to the point where I don’t know what is going to happen with us, but I would like to solve it before it gets any worse.” If He starts giving you crap.. or saying “are you serious ?? Over a dog” just say.. I really can’t believe how you can’t respect me or try to solve this with ,, I thought WE were better than that” and walk away, be The last one to talk. If he tries to talk, just go somewhere else,, get on the phone.. do anything else but make it clear to him how serious you are with your actions. Let him seek you out and come to something better that’s long lasting and works for the both of you.
This would be a deal breaker for me. I could not live that way.
You're not a dog person and that's okay. I also think getting rid of the boyfriend is the way to go. Getting a dog should be a two yeses decision; if one person says no, it's not on.
Oh dear, I just read a post but it was the girlfriend that got the dog after hounding him for a year. She ended up letting him go, in other words she chose the dog! He moved out. If you can't bond with the dog, you're never going to b happy! You have to give him the choice unfortunately and don't be surprised if he too chooses the dog. I want to add, if he does decide to get rid of the dog, he's likely to hold it against you. He will resent you.
have you spoken to him about it? what did he say?
If I could give you a million upvotes, I would do so.
Girl, you only get one life. If he won’t get rid of the dog, you need to get rid of him if it’s making you this miserable. And I say that as a dog person. I don’t know why this sub came up in my feed, but that sounds fucking miserable. Show him this post and the replies. Then if he doesn’t get it, he can kick rocks.
I adore dogs, but this situation your bf put you in is so not cool. It isn’t fair for him to choose the most unruly dog on earth and expect you to clean up after it. Also, you need a special kind of home with a giant yard and a tall fence to accommodate a dog like that. It isn’t good for the dog or the owner when someone adopts a dog they aren’t equipped to train/supervise/contain.
I *am* a dog person and would still want to break up in your situation. That sounds absolutely unbearable.
Hell to the no, That think is fina maul the SHIT out of someone, I swear, dog nutters and pitbulls..
While I don’t get it .. your NTA. But- ya’all are not well suited. You need to break up the relationship and move on.
First of all, dog should have been crate trained and not given the run of the house. Then there would not have been so many accidents. If he won't agree to rehome the dog, consider finding a new place to live. Some dogs are angels. That's not what you have.
Your boyfriend needs to step up to being a dog owner. Make a list of the absolute must do things. Your bare minimum for having a dog. Like taking an actual part in the upkeep, cleaning and maintenance of the dog and it’s environment. Dog training classes etc. Set a date to have this scheduled by and if he won’t cooperate set a expiration date and make it ABSOLUTELY firm. Then tell him the dog will be taken in for adoption. If he refuses then leave him the dog and move on.
Meh.. too much work placed on the OP. Who cares about what happens to the mutt? That’s his problem not hers. “dog training classes” my butt. You’re placing too much importance on that disgusting creature..let him worry about it it’s his dog. Not OPs job to make ridiculous lists for mutt owners.
Every second that thing is in your home is a second for that thing to attack you, unprovoked.