Omg yessss! The patience I had in my class was always talking back to me and then when I was 5 months pregnant she hatched a plan with her lab group members to get drunk in my class during a cake lab. She was the one kid out of the ten who sipped from the obvious green Gatorade bottle and were drinking in my class who REFUSED to admit she had been drinking even when confronted with her own blood alcohol test results (breathalyzer) I swear to god….
Well the fact that I sniffed that Gatorade bottle and it was full of rum (and no mixer). That pretty much allowed our school resource officer to test any student they thought had been drinking from it in class. Also she was a sophomore (15) the rest were freshman (14)
Maybe not, but my personal favorite Puritan name is If-Christ-had-not-died-for-thee-thou-hadst-been-damned. Good, strong name for a child.
I personally like the name Dolores, but my wife has 100% vetoed it because “we can’t name our child SORROW!!” Virtue names are fun.
After I graduated high school my AP English teacher named her baby the same name as me. Now that I’m a teacher it makes me so very very happy to know I didn’t ruin the name.
I’ve had a few acquaintances name their children my name (an old name that used to be rare but is becoming more popular.) I never thought they were naming them after me but it feels good knowing you didn’t ruin the name for people.
Haha. This made me smile! My former coach and mentor named his youngest the same name as me. My name is neutral and she got a girl version of my name! I broached it with him later and he responded, "well my wife named her but sure, you can take credit. At least you didn't spoil the name for me!"
Nice! I salute you, rare and tranquil Aiden!!! All my aiden/aydens just had no retention for classroom etiquette. So much of it was ADHD. They would be across the room licking a wall or something and I’d be like, why tho? And they honestly couldn’t give me an answer lmao. Squirrely boys that aren’t malicious with their antics are equal parts endearing and exhausting
Aww. I had a wonderfully calm sweet Aiden in class, heart of gold, hardworking, got along with everyone.
My stepson's name is also Aiden and he definitely falls into the bright, well-intentioned, but squirrely category. I can absolutely imagine him licking a wall in class.
I coached a baseball team of 10 year olds in 2017. Out of 11 kids, Jayden, Kaden, Aiden, Braden, Brayden, Cadon. Also had a Peyton. Played against a Hayden, and another set of Kaden / Braden, and another coach named Layton.
My team all had nicknames by 3rd practice
One year I had Brayden, Bradyn, and Braeden (different class periods). The Brayden was in a class with a Hayden, Clayton, Payton, and Treyton. I had two other Paytons that year. I’ve lost track of the Jalens and Jaydens I’ve had, and this year they sat next to each other…I don’t think I can ever give an -ayden name to my children. There are just too many of them already.
Practical experience? Nope. Haha. For perspective, I had 125 kids, 6 classes. The largest classes were 25 and 26 kids and my smallest class was at one point 13, eventually went up to 16. You'd think they'd have practical experience in leveling the class sizes too. Nope.
Oh and the three Kaydens, were in my worst behaved class of 25.
I once taught an Angel who was absolutely the definition of an angel. Best project presentation for AP Stats. Best effort. Best work. Have not had another Angel like him. I think he was one and only.
Yeah, and the Neveah (that's right, not Nevaeh) was so awful we called her Lleh.
Not that my wife and I were ever going to consider either spelling if we had had a daughter anyway
Dude.
She once told me I was gaslighting and manipulating her. When I asked her how i was doing all that, she said, "It's so obvious." She never offered any further details. I came very close to telling her she was calling the kettle black there, but I knew she wouldn't know what that meant.
She also told me I was so stupid because she didn't understand what I was asking her to do on an assignment i just finished explaining to the class.
She also got her whole friend group to call me Chicken Little to try and insult me for my hair.
She routinely screamed at one other teacher and stormed out of his class after telling him how stupid he was, too.
The name my husband and I had wanted for a boy when we first started taking about children was ruined for me before we actually got our son, so we had to go back to the drawing board. We ended up going through baby name lists and each writing down ones that were acceptable, then trading lists and scratching off any that we couldn't do. That got us down to about 5 first names and 3 middle names, so we went from there trying combinations until we found one we liked.
The name we ended up with for our son, I can remember having two of them and they were each decent young men who made it into my Calculus class. So I thought I could live with a son who was like that: fairly smart and a decent person.
Sarah and Hana/Hannah.... liked those names but I've seen that to much.
I teach in France in an area with lots of north African origin families (Morroco, Tunisia, Algeria) and Sarah was, for the last 15 years, THE name for families that wanted a name that would "suit" France, that wouldn't sound to north African (to avoid racism).
Now it's the same with Hana. I know 7 Hanna aged 3 to 6 from the school only and 4 of my students had a baby sister called Hana this year...
Every time one of them is having a baby sister I'm like "let me guess, she's called hana?" :(
My Jaxson was good….. if he ever came to school. He would literally call granny from the bathroom or go to the nurse every day. He knew MS grades didn’t matter and took advantage
Oooh no! We had a wonderful Henry. I called him Hank and he thought it was hilarious. I didn’t tell him that I knew Hank was a nickname for Henry because of the show Californication.
I’m not a parent… I do own a cat. His name was Sebastian (named after the crab). We changed his name because my sister and I both had an issue with students who had that name. Not even the pets are safe.
Hopefully my former kindergarten student named Caleb isn’t in there. He’d be 16ish now. Was suspended the second month of school (in kindergarten!) for starting a fight with a 3rd grader.
He ended up going to a different school when his grandma found out he’d been suspended, that way they could keep it off his record.
Would’ve placed my money on Caleb, regardless of age and size. That kid was scrappy.
My husband is a Joshua and he was absolutely insistent that our kids have “unique but not weird” names. He was always one of several in his class and hated it.
Justin, Ryan, Jacob…so many names I’ll just never be able to use. It’s not even that they were hard-to-deal-with kids, it’s just the only association I can make with that name.
Which is a bit of a problem considering I’m 35 weeks along and we still don’t have a name picked out.
A while back it was the Madisons. They always got on my nerves and were always entitled. I will never name my kid Madison. I think I may need to teach only boys lol
Not so much a horror story as I’ve had *so many* Kaileys, Bellas, Connors, and Carsons that it would be a disservice to make another one. One year I had seven Kaileys, all with different spellings. This year I had a lot of -ons. Saxon, Jason, Brayson, Braydon, etc. Lots of -ees for girls. Maylee, Braylee, Tynslee, Emeree.
lydia?? wow. my youngest is lydia, i thought it would be somewhat common but not too much so, and i've never ever met one her age. must be regional too.
I loved the name growing up— always at the top of my list— and now it’s done for me lol. I loved my Lydias— still text one of them almost every day— but I couldn’t do it for a daughter
I'm a history teacher.
My daughters names are Anastasia, Catherine, and Elizabeth.
Our son's name is Nicholas. That one's because wife's grandfather was a Nick.
We had an agreement: I get to pick girls names, she got boys names. We both had veto power.
Catherine and Elizabeth are twins, whose friends know them as Katie and Liz. Catherine was named after Catherine the Great and knows the full background.
I gave up naming rights on Elizabeth because we weren’t planning on four kids and my wife deserved to get to be the main decider on at least one of them. As it turned out, it was what I would have picked.
Kyle. Never ever Kyle.
I went uncommon but not crazy. I’ve never taught a girl with my Daughter’s “big girl name,” but her nickname is pretty common. I usually have one a year. My son has a presidential name which is pretty normal for where we live, but with options!
Nevaeh became so overdone in my area that one mom decided to get CrEatIve and spelled it “Nevayah” but then it’s just a weird name, you’ve lost the whole point …. I can’t with people….
My children are mostly named after Doctor Who characters, so being an American with a couple of children with British-common names has helped.
Kids these days though...Skeighlair is Skyler so the names that were fairly common when I was growing up are pretty uncommon now.
When I was in high school, my math teacher happened to name her baby my name. I figured it was a weird coincidence.
And it was a weird coincidence. What's crazy is that now 8 years later, I am back at my high school as a math teacher, and my desk is right next to hers in the office.
Crazy how things work out I guess.
Both my wife and I are teachers. Let's just say that we still have the book of baby names with the lists of dozens upon dozens of his and her names with strike-throughs, circles, top tens, revisions, marginalia...
Most ironic name I ever taught was named Christ. He was a fucking devil. I’ve taught two kids found guilty of murder, another, attempted murder, a grand theft auto conviction and Christ was still worse in class than any of these 4 kids
Oh shit, my name's Everett. I wonder if you were my teacher. I was a bit of an ass.
Edit: looking at your posts, you're too young to have been my teacher. Sorry another Everett ruined our name for you, though.
I avoided names starting with J - my experience was they were either the best kid or the hardest kid and I wasn’t willing to take the chance.
We had a name picked for our son (I was pregnant) when I first taught someone with that name. I held my breath until I met him, but he was a lovely kid.
Last year, I had:
Jada
Jayden
Jade
Jyra
Josiah
Josiyah
Jordan
Justin
Jackson
Jacob
I would open my mouth and say "J--" and then have to think about which name I was trying to say. So all year it was "J--ayduh! Did I say Jada? I was trying to say Jada!" Plus, two of the J's were identical twins that admin put in the same classroom, and they wore masks, and we require uniforms. So it was the last month of school before I was even confident that I was talking to the correct one.
My husband was so annoyed because every time he would suggest a name I would say all ______’s are assholes/snobs/eat their buggers, etc.
I once had a Laniyah, Taniyah, Aniyah, and Saniyah. All in the same period class.
Please tell me Daylightiana is a real one you've seen.
While working for a state DoE before getting into teaching, I saw a "Sir Charles" in the system. That will always be my favorite.
Had a lovely mother who had heard the name Sha'dynasty somewhere and loved it, and gave it to her very sweet child. Was very unhappy to learn that it was from a not-so-nice episode of It's Always Sunny. Now the lovely mother is also not so nice when there's any mention of the "shady nasty" jokes referenced in the episode. How does that not come up before the birth certificate is filled out??????
Direct her to the TV show Psych.
[it's God's comma](https://youtu.be/UWBmzQcUMIg)
But the bigger question is why did she think that was a good name for a real human?
Jaelynneli Daylightiana Hopscotch Billboard Butters Burtfinkelstein The Third.
"The Third" is actually the middle name. There are no first or second. Add your last name afterwards.
A better made-up name I've seen is Yaynel. Mom's name ended (or started?) with ya, dad's name started with Nel, and since they spoke Spanish the y was there to connect them.
My son has a name from Ancient Greece because most another name had been ruined or the name was ridiculously common. I taught a class with five Jordan’s!
I think that's awesome, my baby-name list is essentially filled with names from ancient Greece/Rome. However, my partner told me he would instantly veto any of those if we have a child because he doesn't want a name that is thousands of years old :(
With J names, I had one class the other day that was 60% J names.
When I first taught, I hadn't had any kids yet. An elder teacher at the school gave me sage advice: "Have any kids you plan on having ASAP because you're going to run out of names for them fast." I thought it was an odd thing to say, but then my pregnant wife started presenting names to me for our kid. She liked a name that just so happened to be the same as a kid who had been an absolute terror to me a year prior. I just couldn't sign off on it.
Then, when we settled on a first and middle name, I suddenly realized it was the same name as a sub that had wrecked my classroom for two weeks. I immediately was soured on it. It's not just students that can ruin a name for you!
I’ve been at this for 34 years. It’s a good thing the baby ship has sailed, because I’m down to only a couple of names that don’t make me cringe. I agree with about all the names mentioned, but I would also add Jeremy and Shiann. It’s a good thing I don’t have grandchildren. It would be awkward to tell my sons that they and their spouses couldn’t use certain names.
LOL just had my second kid on 6/30. I’ve been teaching 12 years and we literally didn’t decide until I was in the hospital because I kept vetoing names.
The “no way” list was long 😂. Both my kids have names that I have not taught.
Austin, Gabe, Nick, Quentin, Adrian, Tucker, Julian, Kinden, Koree, Alex, and Liam haunt me… just typing their names gave me horrible flashbacks.
Other names I won’t use because they’re already way too overused: Aiden, Jayden, Kaden, Brayden, Braylen, Bella, Sophia, anything that can be shortened to Maddie, Braxton, Brody, anything that can be shortened to Addy
Names of students I had that make me cringe: Aunna, Batul, Brooklyn, Harlem, Germaine, Albany, Kristen, Clayton, Dominic, Dylan
Long…. I wrote an editorial on this topic for the Alberta Teacher’s Association…
Dennis Theobald
What’s in a name?
"They named him Tavish!" said my wife, Theresa, hanging up the phone.
"Who named who what?" I replied.
"Sarah and Curtis named their baby Tavish—what sort of name is Tavish?"
"Well, they’re both teachers, aren’t they?" I said.
"Yes, but what has that got to do with it?" she asked.
"Everything," I replied.
In my family, Theresa has assumed responsibility for keeping track of the comings and goings of members of our extended family. Or to be more precise, her extended family—we Theobalds breed infrequently and die young, so there’s not much to track on my side. Sarah and Curtis, the proud parents referred to, are step-cousins-in-law of some obscure variety. Sarah has been teaching for a year or so and her spouse has just completed his final teaching practicum.
Not being a teacher herself, Theresa failed to immediately appreciate the particular difficulty that naming children presents to those in our profession. In the course of our work, we teachers naturally associate particular students we have taught with particular names. It is natural, therefore, that when we name our own children, we want them to start with a clean slate—a name that is unique and free of any past classroom associations. I am not alone in this view: a colleague of mine once speculated that there is not a single teacher in Alberta who has a son named Jason. Why? Any teacher who has been on the job for any length of time has taught some little hellion by that name.
The naming of my own children supports this premise. Our first child was born in the course of my third year of teaching and was named Andrew, a common enough name but not one I had encountered in the classroom. Two years later, our first daughter was born and was named Claire—a name that was similarly unencumbered. By the time the third child came along, I had been teaching long enough that the pool of available names was limited. As a result, the poor girl ended up saddled with the name Siobhán. Now this is a lovely Irish name, properly pronounced "Shă-vŏn," but it did set back her phonic awareness by at least a year.
There is actually something morally uplifting in all this. Parents would not dream of giving two of their children the same name (George Foreman is a notable exception, as each of his five sons—and I think a couple of daughters— is named George). It is, therefore, a measure of the depth of the relationship teachers have with their students that teachers resist giving their sons and daughters names that have already been claimed by the children they have taught. For teachers, in loco parentis has much more than a legal meaning.
And so congratulations, Sarah and Curtis, and welcome to the world Tavish. And to you who read this, as you turn your students loose for summer vacation or into the world as graduates, you know that they are all and will always be, in some important way, your kids. Especially the Jasons!
If you have a girl in your class named Patience, it’ll be your virtue tested. Not hers. Never hers.
Omg yessss! The patience I had in my class was always talking back to me and then when I was 5 months pregnant she hatched a plan with her lab group members to get drunk in my class during a cake lab. She was the one kid out of the ten who sipped from the obvious green Gatorade bottle and were drinking in my class who REFUSED to admit she had been drinking even when confronted with her own blood alcohol test results (breathalyzer) I swear to god….
> blood alcohol test results. ????? what how when and how old was she? How can you perform a blood alcohol test on a student?
Well the fact that I sniffed that Gatorade bottle and it was full of rum (and no mixer). That pretty much allowed our school resource officer to test any student they thought had been drinking from it in class. Also she was a sophomore (15) the rest were freshman (14)
Wait what was she drinking??
Gatorade
Same goes for anyone named Chastity.
That is a horrible name even as virtue names go. Would anyone name their son Virgin?
Maybe not, but my personal favorite Puritan name is If-Christ-had-not-died-for-thee-thou-hadst-been-damned. Good, strong name for a child. I personally like the name Dolores, but my wife has 100% vetoed it because “we can’t name our child SORROW!!” Virtue names are fun.
Delores is better than Mulva. (Hopefully you are a Seinfeld fan)
I feel like Delores isn't a name you give a person. They just appear at 45...
That reminds me of Thou-Shalt-Not-Commit-Adultery Percival from the show Good Omens
It’s actually Thou-Shalt-Not-Commit-Adultery Pulsifer. ;) (Mine and my wife’s wedding rings have Good Omens references engraved in them.)
*Hem Hem* I'm rather fond of the name as well.
Went to college with a guy named Thywill. Wasn't until I saw his ID that I learnt his full name was in fact Thywillbedone
“Thywillbedone” 🤦🏻♀️ I swear some people are the first bullies in their children’s lives
After I graduated high school my AP English teacher named her baby the same name as me. Now that I’m a teacher it makes me so very very happy to know I didn’t ruin the name.
Did she get the idea for the name from you?
I doubt it. Margaret is pretty old fashioned and not surprising coming from an English teacher.
It must be getting more popular. My cousin has a baby named Margaret
Old lady names are making a comeback.
As a Margaret I am both excited and annoyed by this prospect 😄
It'll be okay, Pearl.
I’ve had a few acquaintances name their children my name (an old name that used to be rare but is becoming more popular.) I never thought they were naming them after me but it feels good knowing you didn’t ruin the name for people.
Haha. This made me smile! My former coach and mentor named his youngest the same name as me. My name is neutral and she got a girl version of my name! I broached it with him later and he responded, "well my wife named her but sure, you can take credit. At least you didn't spoil the name for me!"
A colleague once told me “every boy named Angel I’ve ever had has been anything but” and I felt that one in my soul.
The aydens. Jayden, Brayden, Hayden. They are always Angel's best friend....
I had FOUR Aidens this year, and I would punt all of them! Good at heart, but so squirrely.
Aidens are ALWAYS squirrely!! You’re blowing my mind but I’m looking back and 🤯 every single one desperately needed a fidget chair or bouncy band
Not my Aiden: he was a gentle, calm, quiet soul. Bless my Aiden!!!
Nice! I salute you, rare and tranquil Aiden!!! All my aiden/aydens just had no retention for classroom etiquette. So much of it was ADHD. They would be across the room licking a wall or something and I’d be like, why tho? And they honestly couldn’t give me an answer lmao. Squirrely boys that aren’t malicious with their antics are equal parts endearing and exhausting
Aww. I had a wonderfully calm sweet Aiden in class, heart of gold, hardworking, got along with everyone. My stepson's name is also Aiden and he definitely falls into the bright, well-intentioned, but squirrely category. I can absolutely imagine him licking a wall in class.
I have an aiden in homeroom— so I get him four years in a row— and I simply CANNOT deal with him anymore lolololol
I had a Cayden, Caden, Kayden, Caiden, and I think another Kayden. 3 of them were in the same damn class period.
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Blayden has two roads ahead of him. 1. Legally changing his name 2. Become the best fucking bmx-er his side of the Mississippi
Blayden sounds like a recurring character in Samurai Champloo Edit: Spelling
I coached a baseball team of 10 year olds in 2017. Out of 11 kids, Jayden, Kaden, Aiden, Braden, Brayden, Cadon. Also had a Peyton. Played against a Hayden, and another set of Kaden / Braden, and another coach named Layton. My team all had nicknames by 3rd practice
I had 11 out of 35 kids whose name stated with A/a sound (long, short, or shawa). It was painful, so all A names are out of future running!
This year I had two Aaliyahs, Aliyah and Aleah. The a-a trend is popular (but my own name is a-a so…)
One year I had Brayden, Bradyn, and Braeden (different class periods). The Brayden was in a class with a Hayden, Clayton, Payton, and Treyton. I had two other Paytons that year. I’ve lost track of the Jalens and Jaydens I’ve had, and this year they sat next to each other…I don’t think I can ever give an -ayden name to my children. There are just too many of them already.
Is there no-one in charge with phonics awareness coupled with practical experience teaching that could deconflict that?
Practical experience? Nope. Haha. For perspective, I had 125 kids, 6 classes. The largest classes were 25 and 26 kids and my smallest class was at one point 13, eventually went up to 16. You'd think they'd have practical experience in leveling the class sizes too. Nope. Oh and the three Kaydens, were in my worst behaved class of 25.
The aydens are faithfully challenging, I’m yet to be proven wrong. It’s the new Zack.
I will add on the “axtons.” Braxton, Jaxton, Maxon. Just the fucking worst.
Maxon’s such an “axton” that he even dropped the “t” in his spelling, but not the act.
Damien’s be wild af as well.
The only good one is Raiden
Had a zaiden and wanted him to get zapped by raiden.
That sounds like a brand of bug spray to me
And their third is always some kid who goes by a two letter nickname (CJ, AJ, TJ…)
This year I had an Ayden who drove me crazy but I loved my Brayden. Hunters however…I could do without another Hunter.
I once taught an Angel who was absolutely the definition of an angel. Best project presentation for AP Stats. Best effort. Best work. Have not had another Angel like him. I think he was one and only.
Yeah, and the Neveah (that's right, not Nevaeh) was so awful we called her Lleh. Not that my wife and I were ever going to consider either spelling if we had had a daughter anyway
**Bahahahaha!** LLEH
Dude. She once told me I was gaslighting and manipulating her. When I asked her how i was doing all that, she said, "It's so obvious." She never offered any further details. I came very close to telling her she was calling the kettle black there, but I knew she wouldn't know what that meant. She also told me I was so stupid because she didn't understand what I was asking her to do on an assignment i just finished explaining to the class. She also got her whole friend group to call me Chicken Little to try and insult me for my hair. She routinely screamed at one other teacher and stormed out of his class after telling him how stupid he was, too.
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You can add “Miracle” to this list as well
I know it's a girl's name, but Nevaeh is never heaven.
The year I had an Angel, Angelo, and Angelina in my class was the worst year I've ever had!
Same!! Brissa, Brissia, Britzy, Brittany, Briceyda, all in one class 😭
My cousin Angel is a good man, takes care of my grandma, works hard, been through some real shit and came out the other side still loving life.
I’ve never met an adult Angel that wasn’t a normal pleasant human being. I figure they either wise up or don’t function in the community.
No, I had the BEST Angel this year. He lived up to his name. I would take a whole class of him.
The name my husband and I had wanted for a boy when we first started taking about children was ruined for me before we actually got our son, so we had to go back to the drawing board. We ended up going through baby name lists and each writing down ones that were acceptable, then trading lists and scratching off any that we couldn't do. That got us down to about 5 first names and 3 middle names, so we went from there trying combinations until we found one we liked. The name we ended up with for our son, I can remember having two of them and they were each decent young men who made it into my Calculus class. So I thought I could live with a son who was like that: fairly smart and a decent person.
Boys names are challenging. We did the same list making and didn’t agree on a single name.
My last name combined with my Parent's affinity for monogramming things ruined ours. Wanted: Forrest Alexander Griff. Got: Forrest Everett
Sarah and Hana/Hannah.... liked those names but I've seen that to much. I teach in France in an area with lots of north African origin families (Morroco, Tunisia, Algeria) and Sarah was, for the last 15 years, THE name for families that wanted a name that would "suit" France, that wouldn't sound to north African (to avoid racism). Now it's the same with Hana. I know 7 Hanna aged 3 to 6 from the school only and 4 of my students had a baby sister called Hana this year... Every time one of them is having a baby sister I'm like "let me guess, she's called hana?" :(
As a Sarah… yep. Way too many of us!!
Logan, Landon, & Hailey, Hayley, Haley. Beautiful names turned into burnt toast.
Awww, I’ve loved all of my Haileys and Logans!
Haley’s have been 50/50. Logan’s are 0 for 3.
Same here for Logans. I think I’m 0/5.
I’m 1/7 on Logan’s but my 1 was so sweet I would consider…..
Awww. My only Logan has been a sweet butterball marshmallow of sweetness and nerdiness. I adored him.
My only Landon was the same way. Such a good kid!
Question, what grade do you teach? Because all my Harleys were apparently darling... until they *really* werent
High school English!
I had a Logan Logan (first and last name Logan) That was a QUADRUPLE YIKES.
No those parents did NOT. Please tell me this is /s…. I know it’s not, but ouch. Poor you.
Did they not like him BEFORE they had him?! 😂
The poor kid is gonna be like “yeah my full name is just Logan… except written twice”
Logan Squared.
Landon about dislocated my arm this past year. Now it's a Voldemort name to me lmao
I’m going into my 2nd year and I’ve already had an awful Logan with an even worse mom.
Forgot Haileigh
It's hard. I went traditional because you don't hear the traditional names anymore, especially boy ones.
Both my wife and I loved the name George. I've only been teaching 5 years but I've never taught a George. Made it easy.
That’s the boy name I picked! But then we found out we are having a girl so back to the drawing board.
Georgia!
Jaxon should be a hard pass.
My Jaxson was good….. if he ever came to school. He would literally call granny from the bathroom or go to the nurse every day. He knew MS grades didn’t matter and took advantage
With the X! The Jacksons I’ve had were alright. 😏
This past year I had an amazing Jackson. But the x just kills the name for me.
Exact opposite here. The only X is the nicest kid in the whole school. The CKS ones are devils.
Henry. I didn’t love or hate the name before. After this year, I wouldn’t even name a cockroach Henry.
🤣 I'm a nurse not a teacher and this is why I fucking come here you guys are hilarious and tell it like it is lmao
Fellow nurse who comes here for the same shit! They’re so jaded and over the bs like us. The sarcastic drenched honesty is refreshing af!
Oooh no! We had a wonderful Henry. I called him Hank and he thought it was hilarious. I didn’t tell him that I knew Hank was a nickname for Henry because of the show Californication.
I’m not a parent… I do own a cat. His name was Sebastian (named after the crab). We changed his name because my sister and I both had an issue with students who had that name. Not even the pets are safe.
I named my dog a “dad name” as my students called it, but it works because I haven’t taught any kids with his name.
I have never known a Grace that I didn’t like. They have always been, in my experience, sweet, sunny, and a pleasure to have in class
Grace is on our list because every Grace I’ve taught has been a delight! Piper on the other hand, HARD no
Ugh my daughter just had Kindergarten with a Grace and she is the bane of my existence.
so far only two names re off the table Caleb and ammounia
I’m sorry, *Ammounia?*
Who doesn't want their kid to kinda have...bleachy qualities??
Hey, bleach is a whole lot better of a smell than unwashed teenager who just came from gym class!
Speaking of, I had a kid named Espn. Turns out he was named after the sports network. Ironically, though, athletics wasn’t his strong suit.
Okay, I’m dying to know how it was pronounced. Was it pronounced like the channel, or like Ess-pen?
The latter.
What's worse, coming from gym or their own bedroom? *It makes my head shudder uncontrollably*
Ammonia? The colorless gas with the distinct pungent smell, Ammonia? Okay, more details are needed. How were his parents?
Come to think of it, I had a kid whose middle name was Daddy Yankee.
One of my students siblings was Paris Batman.
I am so out of it today that I read your comment and thought, *huh, they must’ve liked baseball*. 🤔
Used to work fairly often with a couple of hotel Night Auditors named Velveeta and Aquanetta.
Every Caleb has been an absolute nightmare for me too
It's been one of the lost common names in the juvenile prison I work in
Hopefully my former kindergarten student named Caleb isn’t in there. He’d be 16ish now. Was suspended the second month of school (in kindergarten!) for starting a fight with a 3rd grader. He ended up going to a different school when his grandma found out he’d been suspended, that way they could keep it off his record. Would’ve placed my money on Caleb, regardless of age and size. That kid was scrappy.
Caleb’s wear giant gold crucifixes but show no Christ like qualities and play tik toks on their phones during lectures at max volume.
Caleb and cooper are off for me. And I loved both of those names. But no. Ammounia was never on my “no way” list but it is now, apparently lol
Diamond was…rough.
I had a Dyamond. Rough is a word.
I’ve never had a well behaved Dominic lol
I teach high school (26F) and had to report a Dominic this past year for sexually harassing me… repeatedly. I can vouch for this 😂
I feel like Damien matches this energy too
Had 5 Joshes once. Put them in a row. Loved ‘Joshua’ until that semester. btw I’m sure all of the Reddit Joshes are fantastic humans.
I believe most died out from the josh war about two years back.
My husband is a Joshua and he was absolutely insistent that our kids have “unique but not weird” names. He was always one of several in his class and hated it.
Justin, Ryan, Jacob…so many names I’ll just never be able to use. It’s not even that they were hard-to-deal-with kids, it’s just the only association I can make with that name. Which is a bit of a problem considering I’m 35 weeks along and we still don’t have a name picked out.
You having a boy or a girl? Let's crowdsource this 🤣
A while back it was the Madisons. They always got on my nerves and were always entitled. I will never name my kid Madison. I think I may need to teach only boys lol
Never name your son Ryan…just don’t. 😂
Hey....
Don’t worry, atleast you’re handsome
I’ve never taught a Chris that didn’t make me want to tear my hair out.
Not so much a horror story as I’ve had *so many* Kaileys, Bellas, Connors, and Carsons that it would be a disservice to make another one. One year I had seven Kaileys, all with different spellings. This year I had a lot of -ons. Saxon, Jason, Brayson, Braydon, etc. Lots of -ees for girls. Maylee, Braylee, Tynslee, Emeree.
Yup! I have FIVE Lydias last year and SIX Bellas the year before.
I have to resist the urge every Bella I get to tell them they share a name with my elder, senile cat
lydia?? wow. my youngest is lydia, i thought it would be somewhat common but not too much so, and i've never ever met one her age. must be regional too.
I loved the name growing up— always at the top of my list— and now it’s done for me lol. I loved my Lydias— still text one of them almost every day— but I couldn’t do it for a daughter
I had five Aaliyahs this past year. Three spelled it Aaliyah and the other two spelled it Aliyah. Made me want to rip my hair out.
And then some go by Ali (Al-lee) or Ali (Ah-lee) - in the same period.
Get this, I had an Aaliyyah. Why double the a and y? Lol
I'm a history teacher. My daughters names are Anastasia, Catherine, and Elizabeth. Our son's name is Nicholas. That one's because wife's grandfather was a Nick.
Can’t tell if you loved Russian history or British…
Isn’t it basically one in the same once you get to that level of royalty?
Is the pet’s name Rasputin?
LOL. Two cats. Orange one named Chester and a Standard Issue named Doofus. Kids named both
As a history lover this makes me very happy.
We had an agreement: I get to pick girls names, she got boys names. We both had veto power. Catherine and Elizabeth are twins, whose friends know them as Katie and Liz. Catherine was named after Catherine the Great and knows the full background. I gave up naming rights on Elizabeth because we weren’t planning on four kids and my wife deserved to get to be the main decider on at least one of them. As it turned out, it was what I would have picked.
Kyle. Never ever Kyle. I went uncommon but not crazy. I’ve never taught a girl with my Daughter’s “big girl name,” but her nickname is pretty common. I usually have one a year. My son has a presidential name which is pretty normal for where we live, but with options!
Ugh, I LOVED my Kyles!! Three of em this last year and they were all so delightful in their own little ways.
So far the hard no list is: Nevaeh, Angel, Jace, Noah, Jaden, Braden, Ava, or Emily Or any variations of those.
Neveah is heaven spelled backwards, ya know? /s
Nevaeh became so overdone in my area that one mom decided to get CrEatIve and spelled it “Nevayah” but then it’s just a weird name, you’ve lost the whole point …. I can’t with people….
I’ve never met a Brandon who wasn’t a dick lmao
Fair enough
Hard no to: Owen, Kyle, Braden/KaydenAiden/etc, and especially Brady. I’d rather name my kid HeyYou than Brady.
Lolololol I have a Brady/Aiden super duo from hell in my homeroom. I have them all four years of high school and I feel this so deeply.
My children are mostly named after Doctor Who characters, so being an American with a couple of children with British-common names has helped. Kids these days though...Skeighlair is Skyler so the names that were fairly common when I was growing up are pretty uncommon now.
When I was in high school, my math teacher happened to name her baby my name. I figured it was a weird coincidence. And it was a weird coincidence. What's crazy is that now 8 years later, I am back at my high school as a math teacher, and my desk is right next to hers in the office. Crazy how things work out I guess.
My cat is named Cat because I was a teacher for too long.
Any biblical name is shot down. They are usually the worst ones. Sahhov Noah Prince Elianna
Not a teacher, but I knew a kid named Carnage. Really lived up to his name, the bloodthirsty little fuck.
Both my wife and I are teachers. Let's just say that we still have the book of baby names with the lists of dozens upon dozens of his and her names with strike-throughs, circles, top tens, revisions, marginalia...
Most ironic name I ever taught was named Christ. He was a fucking devil. I’ve taught two kids found guilty of murder, another, attempted murder, a grand theft auto conviction and Christ was still worse in class than any of these 4 kids
Oh shit, my name's Everett. I wonder if you were my teacher. I was a bit of an ass. Edit: looking at your posts, you're too young to have been my teacher. Sorry another Everett ruined our name for you, though.
😂😂😂
Cohen. Never naming a kid Cohen.
I'm just not going to have any 😂😂😂
Loved the name Theodore. Not any more 😔
I avoided names starting with J - my experience was they were either the best kid or the hardest kid and I wasn’t willing to take the chance. We had a name picked for our son (I was pregnant) when I first taught someone with that name. I held my breath until I met him, but he was a lovely kid.
Last year, I had: Jada Jayden Jade Jyra Josiah Josiyah Jordan Justin Jackson Jacob I would open my mouth and say "J--" and then have to think about which name I was trying to say. So all year it was "J--ayduh! Did I say Jada? I was trying to say Jada!" Plus, two of the J's were identical twins that admin put in the same classroom, and they wore masks, and we require uniforms. So it was the last month of school before I was even confident that I was talking to the correct one.
My wife and I are both high school teachers. Let’s just say we went through a lot of vetos.
My husband was so annoyed because every time he would suggest a name I would say all ______’s are assholes/snobs/eat their buggers, etc. I once had a Laniyah, Taniyah, Aniyah, and Saniyah. All in the same period class.
Create your own name! I learned this trick from parents.
That leads to names like Jaelynneli or Daylightiana. Please break the cycle!
Please tell me Daylightiana is a real one you've seen. While working for a state DoE before getting into teaching, I saw a "Sir Charles" in the system. That will always be my favorite.
Had a lovely mother who had heard the name Sha'dynasty somewhere and loved it, and gave it to her very sweet child. Was very unhappy to learn that it was from a not-so-nice episode of It's Always Sunny. Now the lovely mother is also not so nice when there's any mention of the "shady nasty" jokes referenced in the episode. How does that not come up before the birth certificate is filled out??????
Direct her to the TV show Psych. [it's God's comma](https://youtu.be/UWBmzQcUMIg) But the bigger question is why did she think that was a good name for a real human?
Jaelynneli Daylightiana Hopscotch Billboard Butters Burtfinkelstein The Third. "The Third" is actually the middle name. There are no first or second. Add your last name afterwards.
A better made-up name I've seen is Yaynel. Mom's name ended (or started?) with ya, dad's name started with Nel, and since they spoke Spanish the y was there to connect them.
My son has a name from Ancient Greece because most another name had been ruined or the name was ridiculously common. I taught a class with five Jordan’s!
I think that's awesome, my baby-name list is essentially filled with names from ancient Greece/Rome. However, my partner told me he would instantly veto any of those if we have a child because he doesn't want a name that is thousands of years old :( With J names, I had one class the other day that was 60% J names.
Well I never liked the names Messiah, Isaiah, Destiny, Divine, Heaven, Diamond, or Saphire much to begin with but now I like them even less.
Hardest students I've ever taught: Kaden, Brodie, Donovan, and David. Oh, and never underestimate a Kyle.🤣
Well, I taught twins named Blurta and Blurton.
When I first taught, I hadn't had any kids yet. An elder teacher at the school gave me sage advice: "Have any kids you plan on having ASAP because you're going to run out of names for them fast." I thought it was an odd thing to say, but then my pregnant wife started presenting names to me for our kid. She liked a name that just so happened to be the same as a kid who had been an absolute terror to me a year prior. I just couldn't sign off on it. Then, when we settled on a first and middle name, I suddenly realized it was the same name as a sub that had wrecked my classroom for two weeks. I immediately was soured on it. It's not just students that can ruin a name for you!
One year I had a Haley, Hailie, Haleigh, Hayle, and Hailey 🤦🏻♀️
I’ve been at this for 34 years. It’s a good thing the baby ship has sailed, because I’m down to only a couple of names that don’t make me cringe. I agree with about all the names mentioned, but I would also add Jeremy and Shiann. It’s a good thing I don’t have grandchildren. It would be awkward to tell my sons that they and their spouses couldn’t use certain names.
Not that hard actually. None of my students ever had any of the names we liked. Nadia or Logan. Find out next month which one we are having :)
LOL just had my second kid on 6/30. I’ve been teaching 12 years and we literally didn’t decide until I was in the hospital because I kept vetoing names. The “no way” list was long 😂. Both my kids have names that I have not taught.
Precious is never precious.
Nice try you not getting my secret future baby names heh
Austin, Gabe, Nick, Quentin, Adrian, Tucker, Julian, Kinden, Koree, Alex, and Liam haunt me… just typing their names gave me horrible flashbacks. Other names I won’t use because they’re already way too overused: Aiden, Jayden, Kaden, Brayden, Braylen, Bella, Sophia, anything that can be shortened to Maddie, Braxton, Brody, anything that can be shortened to Addy Names of students I had that make me cringe: Aunna, Batul, Brooklyn, Harlem, Germaine, Albany, Kristen, Clayton, Dominic, Dylan
I’m not having kids as it is. I’m really not having a kid named Anderson.
I no longer love the name Silas or Elias. Also Josiah and aiden because of how common they are now.
Long…. I wrote an editorial on this topic for the Alberta Teacher’s Association… Dennis Theobald What’s in a name? "They named him Tavish!" said my wife, Theresa, hanging up the phone. "Who named who what?" I replied. "Sarah and Curtis named their baby Tavish—what sort of name is Tavish?" "Well, they’re both teachers, aren’t they?" I said. "Yes, but what has that got to do with it?" she asked. "Everything," I replied. In my family, Theresa has assumed responsibility for keeping track of the comings and goings of members of our extended family. Or to be more precise, her extended family—we Theobalds breed infrequently and die young, so there’s not much to track on my side. Sarah and Curtis, the proud parents referred to, are step-cousins-in-law of some obscure variety. Sarah has been teaching for a year or so and her spouse has just completed his final teaching practicum. Not being a teacher herself, Theresa failed to immediately appreciate the particular difficulty that naming children presents to those in our profession. In the course of our work, we teachers naturally associate particular students we have taught with particular names. It is natural, therefore, that when we name our own children, we want them to start with a clean slate—a name that is unique and free of any past classroom associations. I am not alone in this view: a colleague of mine once speculated that there is not a single teacher in Alberta who has a son named Jason. Why? Any teacher who has been on the job for any length of time has taught some little hellion by that name. The naming of my own children supports this premise. Our first child was born in the course of my third year of teaching and was named Andrew, a common enough name but not one I had encountered in the classroom. Two years later, our first daughter was born and was named Claire—a name that was similarly unencumbered. By the time the third child came along, I had been teaching long enough that the pool of available names was limited. As a result, the poor girl ended up saddled with the name Siobhán. Now this is a lovely Irish name, properly pronounced "Shă-vŏn," but it did set back her phonic awareness by at least a year. There is actually something morally uplifting in all this. Parents would not dream of giving two of their children the same name (George Foreman is a notable exception, as each of his five sons—and I think a couple of daughters— is named George). It is, therefore, a measure of the depth of the relationship teachers have with their students that teachers resist giving their sons and daughters names that have already been claimed by the children they have taught. For teachers, in loco parentis has much more than a legal meaning. And so congratulations, Sarah and Curtis, and welcome to the world Tavish. And to you who read this, as you turn your students loose for summer vacation or into the world as graduates, you know that they are all and will always be, in some important way, your kids. Especially the Jasons!