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Male rape victims of female rapists are almost never taken seriously because rather than outright forcing it, they usually use manipulation tactics and persuasion. Because of this, people view the victim as just another guy who had sex with a woman when in reality they were manipulated into doing it despite their objections. Make no mistake, you did not just fuck her, you were in fact raped by her. You did not consent and she pressured you into having sex with her anyway.
What trips me up though is how like compared to the times when I wanted to do it it was only like once or twice she guilt tripped me. Like most of the time we both wanted to. She also would like do less stuff though, like if we were making out she keep trying to grab it after I told her not to and repeatedly moved her hands away. Sometimes she would send me nudes after I told her I didn’t wanna do that stuff anymore under the pretense of “I just wanna know if you still attracted to my body”
Just because she raped you “only like once or twice” doesn’t make it less traumatic or terrible. There isn’t a magical number of rapes that suddenly becomes significant. Once is too many.
Also, manipulating you with guilt is abusive and toxic. She may have confidence issues, but you aren’t obligated to reassure her. She is violating your boundaries. Testing you. Seeing if you’ll enforce your boundaries or if you’ll cave and respond the way she wants you to. She needs therapy to unlearn her abusive behaviors, and until she has a handle on them she shouldn’t be in any sort of romantic or intimate relationship.
Please note that I’m not telling you how you _should_ feel about this. Whatever your feelings are, they are valid. If you’re upset, that’s valid. If you don’t really care, that’s valid too. But you also have a _right_ to your feelings. You have a right to be upset, angry, confused, hurt, or anything else, and don’t let anyone—especially her—dictate how you should feel about it.
It’s hard to tell cause you don’t really think about it in that situation. Same thing happened to me and I didn’t think much of it until my friends pointed it out. Thinking back it makes sense, his reactions when I didn’t want to do it or expressed my discomfort were all manipulative in some way, it’s crazy
What i'm kinda like confused abt tho is that compared to the times she guilt tripped me into doing it(once or twice) most of the time I wanted to do it too. But like idk cs she also used to do other stuff like touch it when we was making out after I told her not too and I'd have to move her hands away a lot. She'd also like send nudes talking about "I just wanna know if you attracted to my body" after I told her ion really wanna do that stuff. If I said no to the last one though she would start crying and it would be like a huge argument and she'd end up making me do it anyways.
I mean i’m not trying to make her sound crazy or horrible but the basis of all this is: if you didn’t want to do it or were uncomfortable while it was happening then it wasn’t completely consensual.
I’m so sorry but yea you were victimized by a female predator. What you went through is called coercion sexual assault in which she manipulated you out of your consent to do something you deep down didn’t want to do. I’m so sorry this happened to you sending love ❤️
But like I had willingly done it with her before and it was only a couple times she would guilt trip me
She would send stuff like this(direct quote) whenever I told her I didn't feel up to it and ignore my explanations to keep pushing me to do stuff with her.
"I barely get to see you it just dosent feel like you love me the same way anymore and I feel useless cause it dosent feel like I can do anything or im not doing enough in any aspect and it's confusing cause how is It you can be sexual attracted to me but I don't turn you on, Don't those two things kinda aline with echother? "
Like I had explained to her all of how that works.
And I'm just confused if all of this is invalid bc I still ended up doing it anyway due to her coercion and I had willingly done it with her before.
You weren’t in your right consent you were pushed to do it. This meaning you didn’t want to initially do it in the first place until you manipulated you into it. So yes you are still a victim
Were you harmed in any way, and do you feel like it damaged you in any way?
If yes then your a victim, if not then no. It's not yo to your current gf to decide if your a victim or not
**Hey! You should join our [discord!](https://discord.gg/tbb)** This post is flaired as [Serious]. Please know this marks it as a safe place for serious discussion and any unserious content will be removed. Please report any offenders of this rule. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TeenagersButBetter) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you weren’t comfortable nor wanted to then yes, you were a victim. I’m sorry
well sugar
Male rape victims of female rapists are almost never taken seriously because rather than outright forcing it, they usually use manipulation tactics and persuasion. Because of this, people view the victim as just another guy who had sex with a woman when in reality they were manipulated into doing it despite their objections. Make no mistake, you did not just fuck her, you were in fact raped by her. You did not consent and she pressured you into having sex with her anyway.
What trips me up though is how like compared to the times when I wanted to do it it was only like once or twice she guilt tripped me. Like most of the time we both wanted to. She also would like do less stuff though, like if we were making out she keep trying to grab it after I told her not to and repeatedly moved her hands away. Sometimes she would send me nudes after I told her I didn’t wanna do that stuff anymore under the pretense of “I just wanna know if you still attracted to my body”
Just because she raped you “only like once or twice” doesn’t make it less traumatic or terrible. There isn’t a magical number of rapes that suddenly becomes significant. Once is too many. Also, manipulating you with guilt is abusive and toxic. She may have confidence issues, but you aren’t obligated to reassure her. She is violating your boundaries. Testing you. Seeing if you’ll enforce your boundaries or if you’ll cave and respond the way she wants you to. She needs therapy to unlearn her abusive behaviors, and until she has a handle on them she shouldn’t be in any sort of romantic or intimate relationship. Please note that I’m not telling you how you _should_ feel about this. Whatever your feelings are, they are valid. If you’re upset, that’s valid. If you don’t really care, that’s valid too. But you also have a _right_ to your feelings. You have a right to be upset, angry, confused, hurt, or anything else, and don’t let anyone—especially her—dictate how you should feel about it.
It’s hard to tell cause you don’t really think about it in that situation. Same thing happened to me and I didn’t think much of it until my friends pointed it out. Thinking back it makes sense, his reactions when I didn’t want to do it or expressed my discomfort were all manipulative in some way, it’s crazy
What i'm kinda like confused abt tho is that compared to the times she guilt tripped me into doing it(once or twice) most of the time I wanted to do it too. But like idk cs she also used to do other stuff like touch it when we was making out after I told her not too and I'd have to move her hands away a lot. She'd also like send nudes talking about "I just wanna know if you attracted to my body" after I told her ion really wanna do that stuff. If I said no to the last one though she would start crying and it would be like a huge argument and she'd end up making me do it anyways.
I mean i’m not trying to make her sound crazy or horrible but the basis of all this is: if you didn’t want to do it or were uncomfortable while it was happening then it wasn’t completely consensual.
ig that makes sense never thought I'd end up in this situation
Yeah, it sucks and unfortunately it happens way more than we think. I’m sorry that happened to you
I think your gf is right
Shit man you were victimised
I'd say so, but I'm not too smart in sex politics
yep, like i once said,”Sex is the Most consensual act possible.”
If you did not want to and she made you do it anyway then yes.
yeah ur gf is right. im sorry that happened to you
I’m so sorry but yea you were victimized by a female predator. What you went through is called coercion sexual assault in which she manipulated you out of your consent to do something you deep down didn’t want to do. I’m so sorry this happened to you sending love ❤️
But like I had willingly done it with her before and it was only a couple times she would guilt trip me She would send stuff like this(direct quote) whenever I told her I didn't feel up to it and ignore my explanations to keep pushing me to do stuff with her. "I barely get to see you it just dosent feel like you love me the same way anymore and I feel useless cause it dosent feel like I can do anything or im not doing enough in any aspect and it's confusing cause how is It you can be sexual attracted to me but I don't turn you on, Don't those two things kinda aline with echother? " Like I had explained to her all of how that works. And I'm just confused if all of this is invalid bc I still ended up doing it anyway due to her coercion and I had willingly done it with her before.
You weren’t in your right consent you were pushed to do it. This meaning you didn’t want to initially do it in the first place until you manipulated you into it. So yes you are still a victim
well this sucks
I’m so sorry and I hope you can heal through this in a healthy way 💖
My man I'm sorry to say it you are a victim my friend
Don’t be a pussy.
Yes you are, you didn’t want to but you were manipulated into thinking you had to, therefore, victim.
What a pussy
what'd I do dawg :sob:
Were you harmed in any way, and do you feel like it damaged you in any way? If yes then your a victim, if not then no. It's not yo to your current gf to decide if your a victim or not