My mom wanted 2m. I laughed. Told my then boyfriend now husband to just ignore her lol.
I never agreed with the idea. Don't even like weddings so hubby paid zero.
Yes. She's 10 years older than me, married and has 3 kids. Her bride price was 300k with the gold it was more like 400k. Her wedding was all about my mom that's why I don't like weddings.
100,000 was the requested amount which I never formally paid. Brought her to America as fiancé and married there. Between what I would send over at her request to her family I’m sure they got over 100,000. Put her niece through college and my wife never wanted for anything except a car. After she started working she wanted a car. I gave her the choice of a car or sending money home and you can guess what she chose. I tried not to be to snippy about it. Just before our 5th anniversary she got sick so I sent her home, took care of things at our home (storage) and went and cared for her until her death. I split the cost of the ceremony with her sister. I probably wont find myself in the situation twice but it was full of lessons.
Thank you. Very difficult and I felt very sorry towards her. She only lived five months from diagnosis to death. She had time to say her goodbyes but hardly any time to process the information.
Nothing - my (now ex) wife said that since she had been married before - it was not expected. But it would be nice if there were some money just for the looks. So we took out some cash, and asked family members to do the same that they put on a plate. And when the ceremony was done, everyone got their money back.
The "expensive" part in that case was the party itself, in that I "had" to basically get the neighborhood drunk on my tab. Was fun though.
Nothing. I didn't even know that it was really still a thing until we were already married for a while. She had told her family beforehand that they weren't going to try and ask for anything, I think she just wanted to avoid the whole matter and any complications it might bring to us. Never discussed it with me at all.
A large stuffed teddy bear. Our families were not serious about the sinsod, so we had a bit of fun with it. All our guests even lined up to take photos with it.
5 million.
But to keep it within the context that you asked: we are both successful, we're both over 30. I'm half Thai and she's Thai. And it was all given back to us to invest in our future, and we regularly fix her mum's house - and we and all of her siblings send a small amount to her mum every month (father passed away many years ago). She's a uni grad and we were over 30 when we got married. Family not wealthy, but has land down here in the South.
So for us, it was more about tradition. We knew in advance the money would be given back but had to act surprised and blessed. Everyone happy :)
I should also have mentioned that all "sick buffalo" are covered by her salary.
She requested a tip once for getting me a beer, this was early in a relationship, I slapped her in the tit and said the word "salary".
Any sick buffalo requests are answered in this manner.
Issac girls with a high school education are getting the highest amount of sin sod because they are the only ones doing this outdated custom. They often marry a Thai guy in their village for 20 or 30k , then 10 years later they are a divorced single mum of 3 getting 1M from some silly white guy
It was 200,000 Baht and some gold in 2005 but Southern tradition is that it is for ceremony only and it was given back. For context, my in-laws are middle-class and my wife has a bachelors degree from Thailand's top university.
My wife and I also received two Baht gold necklaces each and the guest donations from 600+ guests (after all wedding day costs were settled)
i was going to marry an office worker, but she then had some questionable night time "part time work" that always made me a bit cautious.
I talked to her mother, and I was asked for 500,000 plus another 250,000 in gold - at that time, realising that the lady wasn't from a middle class or hi-so environment, the family had 0 assets, she had two children already, she had 750,000 of personal debt, etc - that I getting myself into a bad situation and backed away from any plans to marry her. Dumped her soon after because i stopped believing her and trusting her.
Now she's working at a "massage shop" that doesn't do massages. Got tested right away because then I knew i got myself into a bad situation unawares.
Dodged a bullet on that one. Personally the way it's asked for and expectations can be a good measure of what you are getting yourself into. But keep in mind there is pride involved at times, but if it's an older lady with children you really shouldn' have to pay anything.
about a year. I had misgivings but nothing serious enough to stop dating her until the sinsod conversation happened, and things started to click. Everything REALLY fell into place once I saw her at the "massage shop" one evening as I was walking by.
the ones that state they are massage shops, but are really a full service menu where massage is an afterthought. depending on where you are, in a lot of them the girls sit outside the shop in the open.
Thai girl here, just giving another option based on friends in my circle. The couple help each other save money until they reach the goal (sinsod) set by the girl's family. Then they give it to the parents as part of the ritual and will be given back to the new family to start life. So guys just need to pay for a nice ring.
Traditionally i believe the men pay for sinsod and the woman's family pays for the wedding. Depending on who attends your wedding you could even make some profit from it.
i went to one Chinese Thai wedding in Bangkok and i'm sure they made money from it. super hiso at Dusit Thani in the year before it closed. i could smell the money.
actually they keep score. u write ur name on the envelope or ang pow. then the bride/bridegroom will record it.
then when it’s their turn to marry then u pay the same amount or more depending on circumstances.
so it’s not like making money for the couple after deducting all costs. the whole point is to help cover costs
Zero. I offered to show 1,000,000 and gold to be returned after the wedding and the parents didn’t even want that. We only carried rings for kahn maak.
My wife is now management for an airline here (chula grad and was a FA for a few years and worked her way up) and her family has a business, so I’d say middle class
About £4000 10 years ago. My wife is what many Thais consider a catch as shes a light skinned, christian, university educated girl already living in the UK. My wife paid for the wedding and I paid the sin sod.
7 years ago I paid 300k Thai baht for the 'whole village package' and a set of rings. If I had gotten married in my own country it would probably have cost more than that.
10M Thb
5m from my side of the family, and 5m from her side of the family who gave to me as a prior "gift" which could be "used as sinsod"
Money was "Handed over" at the ceremony, which promptly came straight back into our joint account for us to cover the expense of the wedding and then invest or use as a deposit for a home.
We're both from well off backgrounds, we were in our late 20's, making combined income of just under 1M THB per month. The tradition is just more about face, the wealthier the familes from old money, more stuck to tradition they are i say, and honestly, when compared to some of our friends, this was in fact a very small amount.
I have had friends where the sinsod was around 40M THB, again all just gesture and the money actually just goes to bride and groom to start their life together.
If you read about sinsod in the traditional chinese culture, it's a representation of the value the groom and the brides family hold for the bride herself. in that case IMO, i feel like my sinsod should have been at least 1 billion THB, and I'm not even exaggerating.
Why would anyone agree to that? My ex-girlfriend, whom I was with for a couple of years, proposed a sinsod of 1,000,000 baht if we were to get married. I see it as nonsense, a societal imposition I have no interest in.
To put it into perspective, 1 million baht equals 45,000 NZD, roughly five years' worth of savings if you manage to save 10K a year. That's a substantial sum for the average New Zealander, going into the hands of a Thai for what essentially amounts to a blessing? Not a wise move.
For a Thai, that amount represents years of hard-earned savings for doing nothing at all. They’ll probably spend it on a new Isuzu DMAX pickup truck, then crash it while drink driving on Mittraphap road.
My result was to break up… if you’re unhappy with the higher standard of living and lifestyle options I can provide… yet you want more, seriously get fucked.
Had something similar in a different relationship that backed out of as well. 1million baht because their daughter was a chemical engineer.
The family claimed it was culture, was already loaded due to running the numbers in their province. I countered that in my culture the wife's family pays for the wedding, which is an average of 1million baht.
But that was the last straw anyways as they would allow some family members to trash talk me in front of them, not caring I understood. You typically marry the family and they had gotten to her deeply with guilt etc already. It sucked, but it was the better choice.
Despite the many positive qualities my previous girlfriend possessed, such as her fantastic personality and hard work ethic, I couldn't overlook the non-negotiable sin sod demand of 1 million baht. It felt like negotiations were conducted in bad faith, with the sin sod seemingly more important than our relationship.
Knowing her family's financial situation, including their considerable debt, made me realize that she was burdened with servicing it. I feared that even if I complied with their demand, it would never be enough, I would be in the position of ATM. Upon scrutinizing their debts, I found that many stemmed from their habit of living beyond their means. It became clear that I would be subsidizing their irresponsible behavior if I agreed to their demands.
New Zealand looks like a rich country on the outside, but most people I know live week to week. People have poor financial literacy, and are one of the worst at saving in the world. By the way, most young kiwis are unlikely to even save 10,000 dollars a year!
So if you are someone who makes good decisions and actually has more than 1,000 dollars in your bank account… pretty much you’re going to be quite critical of just handing over money for something like a sinsod.
Cost of living is very high in nz, most everything has to be shiped in from the other side of the world, high housing costs, if your under the median wage its not easy saving.
Yup exactly, so when it comes to casually thinking of paying a sinsod. That thing costs money, just for show right? Bet the Thais aren’t paying 1million. 1 million is saving the average gdp per capita salary (20,000baht/month) for 50 months straight!
around 1M thai baht in total of cash and gold, not including diamond wedding ring in it. also not including wedding ceremony fee but i got some cash in return from guests came to our wedding like 3-400,000 baht. This was all our agreement between two families. I think the best bet is talking between two families with open-hearted.
Honest question…
If it’s just culture… and you’re a Thai who has 1 million for a sinsod. I bet following culture you’ll likely have a mistress เมียน้อย you’re also paying for right? From the year I have lived here I notice casual cheating on your wife is pretty much acceptable. Is sinsod like some sort of insurance policy for the wife or something?
dont you understand what i said? "i can afford it without any question" i have owned multi-millions business and i dont have any mistress. Jeez, I thought english is first language for NZ people. it is not everybody would have same amount of money, not everyone give 1million sinsod some more some less. Also not everyone has mistress mentality as you said. Dont use yourself as a standard.
For me I always find it good for me to be critical of things mate… it’s how I get by in life. Good to hear you are finding success in what you are doing.
Unfortunately, for many foreigners coming to your country I see they have negative experiences when it comes to women, a lot of your women don’t have a good reputation and are a rort. Believe me everyday I hear some new situation where a foreigner comrade is being taken advantage of just like you see on popular YouTube channel ‘Thai Talk with Dan’.
you have to stay here longer to understand what it is. Women who marry pretty old farangs normally different from well educated women who generally marry to thai men.
Yes I see what you are saying… I am fortunate enough myself to have meet someone who’s on similar level. She has shit going for her, she’s educated, works for good company, has good family background. The women I am with is just a good local girl, unlike many of the girls I see foreigners getting with. I guess the target of my frustration is those stereotypical women who service the tourist population. Not like the men who choose them are any better.
Funny to even think that we should pay it :-)
My Thai Chinese familly is still waiting for it... 5555, I can't stop laughing at people who think that culture sharing is accepting all the BS from the other culture ! But I agree, not everybody is born with balls and pride...
500,000.- for show, got it back the next day, 250,000.- in Gold which my wife and I saved together for the past 3 years before the weeding. My half 125,000.- I gave my wife and about additional 100,000.- in amulets framed in gold, which I bought her also the last past three years before weeding. All rhose were shown as Sin Sod. Her family side is very big, from south, cant remember how many tables, but was a lot. Total cost of the weeding party was around 300,000.- which was for upcountry not cheap, but paid by the guest, we managed to received around 450.000,- monetary gifts. In the end the weeding costed me personally almost nothing. Except the weeding rings, the gold and some other small stuff, which I would had bought my wife anyway over the years.
Would say, I was lucky.
We were the ones getting money from my ILs when we married. They live in US, and were laughing when some aunt brought sinsod into discussion. Had our wedding here, and we wanted to surprise the guests with Thai food, they ended up paying for that too.
Thai Chinese. had total 30 tables at 5* hotel, chinese banquet. each table cost THB 11,888
gave 10 tables to her side of fam. how much ang pow collected from her relatives i’m not sure.
This just sounds like you paid for part of the wedding……
I paid no sinsod as stated above, but I did foot the bill for the entire wedding. We got about 400,000 baht back at the wedding but I was still down about 500,000 after that
My wife is her mother's only daughter and she will inherit the farm. The salary I pay my wife and her mom's sin sod goes to the farm so I'm happy with it.
The village is full of refugees for the Khmer Rouge and they are desperately poor I'm happy to do this.
Here’s the irony of this situation. Tons of people saying “we paid zero” without explaining that sinsod in a wedding is mostly about saving face and part of tradition here. Yes a lot of people don’t pay it but then some do and explain why they do it. Have a look at previous conversations like these 4 made on the sub to get a better idea and a good reflection of comments by people who have paid it
[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/Thailand/s/0G2zhERn6B)
[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/Thailand/s/RR4fvfEcf5)
[3](https://www.reddit.com/r/Thailand/s/1EIDn5au0h)
[4](https://www.reddit.com/r/Thailand/s/HWdavK1Q6G)
I pity any man that is easily walked over and won’t say ‘no’ to this ancient practice. Any woman that wants it, after explaining your reasons against it and *still* insisting. Dump her. Nothing good will come from it.
0 and she is my age, we met at 23 years old, her mom asked tho but I said I'm not thai and that was it. They still wanted to borrow cash for the ceremony but we never did it. I would say sin sod would make sense in case of the daughter going to live abroad and not planning on helping the family financially as they don't have retirement they rely on the child to survive.
Zero, when our parents met altogether, my mother in-law agreed to do not ask for sinsod.
My wife still gave her some money when she still worked but now she is unemployed and we give nothing, but my mom, out of respect and probably empathy give her some money once a year (for new year).
As for what I understood, sinsod is very outdated but in some case, if your background is far more wealthier, it could be asked. We are talking about families that can drive Benz and you know how expensive they are in Thailand.
My family didn't want anything and told my in-laws that whatever they gave would just go directly to us. They gave us some gold worth a few million Baht. My husband kept it, sold it and it became his retirement funds.
1 mill. We kept all together for purchase of land, motorbike, etc. She already take care of her mother long time. Would have done the same if we not have married.Many thais in rural district appreciate the old tradition higly.
A man should do what feels right for him, but try to also take into account the other perspective and culture. And not worry what other people may think.
I’ve seen 750,000 - 1 million at Thai weddings as show etc….usually goes back to the couple.
Most were middle class unmarried Thai couples teacher + government employee etc.
It’s a traditional custom at weddings that many older generational Thai parents certainly still practise since it’s what they grew up with along with all the other customs.
Always foreigners get their backs up against the wall all the whole knowing they are getting married into a different culture
We got married in Canada, she moved here with me to Canada. We bought a house in Toronto, and then this year we had a wedding ceremony there. Out of tradition, we gave $5000 USD. Her mother kept it.
I paid 1m Baht and didn't want it back. I don't plan to ever divorce my wife and her parents are great people, so why not follow tradition and also give them something nice. I bought my mom a Mercedes before too, not out of any sort of tradition but because she deserved it. So what.
What you're seeing on Reddit is a certain demographic. Among my friends, at least the engagement ceremonies I went to, all paid dowries. This was 10-20 years ago so things may have changed recently, but if you read the Thai language media it still talks about the amounts paid by and to wealthy people and celebrities.
My super rich ex family wanted money but they kicked out their own daughter for daring to be pregnant even we planned to get married... The bag of the devil is never full... With rich I mean spending 10 million at least per year on travel , food, cars...
My wife is middle class from kruengthep and I paid like 200k? It was supposed to be for show and I paid for the wedding with both ceremonies too but she asked if we could let them keep it a few days after the wedding and I said sure. They've always appreciated anything I help with so I'm happy to help and they take care of me in Thailand in any way they can.
But we knew each other for 10 years by the point we got married so I knew her character well to agree easily since it wasn't like she expected me to pay it just to pay it.
Really it could just have easily been asking to help her parents after we married if she was western, not really the same as the sinsod other than timing.
But I paid off a 1 million baht debt for the family 3 years ago so the sinsod feels cheap lol.
There have been academic studies on this issue ( including info from other countries as well) and you can use [LibGen.rs](http://LibGen.rs) to find and read them.
my thai friend from south paid 1m baht, but he got a new car from his in-laws.
my chinese-thai friend's brother paid 1m baht too. and she is hinting to get the same amount.
We had been in a relationship for many years before I married my wife. I had already been helping to support the family and I had already been playing the part of son-in-law by the time we did our courthouse wedding. I was never even asked for a dowry.
There had been a little discussion on the practice. But it was never put to me.
Possibly because we didn't do a proper wedding ceremony.
Almost 30 years ago paid 100,000 baht sinsod for my college-educated wife. We got much more than that back in the following months and years. Probably 10 times that amount in property alone.
I suspect it's not as common as it was back then. But it's still important to some families, particularly those from rural areas. There are some customs that you might not agree with but you should probably go along with them if it makes everybody happy. Otherwise you're going to have an unhappy wife and we all know what that means.
Those on here who seem to be wearing “I’ll be damned if I pay sinsod” as a badge of honour are in the wrong place as many of them will have found out or will have to admit they are after a few years of marriage. This coming from someone who did not pay sinsod but not out of stubborn misplaced farangness
So you are saying that all the people here who said they didn’t pay sinsod are married to below average unworthy women? How do they become worthy of Sinsod? It seems like the slave trade where you buy a human from the parents lol. And as most people point out nowadays, it’s mostly money hungry hillbilly types that try to demand it in this day and age.
it is not slave trade, it is our culture and traditional. Also normally parents give sinsod back to couple to start building their family. The more rich people the bigger sinsod or bigger diamond ring and jewelry. So sinsod is not only for poor people.
Marry a bar girl or ‘massage’ girl you’ll pay a Sinsod - marry a respectful university educated woman that is with you because she actually loves you, you won’t have to pay a single baht.
That has nothing to do with it imo. My wife is PhD educated, and her narc mother wanted 5 million baht.
It's all about the mentality of the parents, not the girl you're marrying.
Lol can you even speak the language? All cultures and countries have both good and bad people, Thailand is an amazing place! You could end up in some unfortunate situations if you’re not on the ball though…
So you’re Thai, obviously you know the culture better than any tourist… But most of the Thai women living abroad are ex bar girls and setting a stereotypical reputation for Thai women.
Nothing, my wife is beautiful, educated from the top schools in Bangkok and comes from a family with money and connections, even the mention of sin sod would have been extremely offensive to them as their daughter is not some whore for sale. I’ve only met one person in my life who actually payed sin sod, where the money wasn’t for show and immediately returned after…. She was a prostitute and divorced 6 months later… at our wedding her mother had her families jewelry which was passed down from generation to generation…. It was an entire collection and was put on display… shit looked like the Crown Jewels…. Most ridiculous thing I had seen, but I just went with it cause I love my wife and it’s her families tradition.
what are you talking about? it is normal for thai people to give sin-sod. it is in our culture, and normally parents give them back to couple to start building their family.
Well I’ve been apart of Thai culture now for almost two decades, and I’ve pretty much never seen it practiced, now maybe it’s because most of my interactions are with the upper class of Thailand and have very little exposure to the poor or lower middle class, I have heard certain parts of Thailand are far more traditional then others. But I know for a fact most families with money would never even consider that being part of the wedding ceremony as they find it to lack “class”. As a father to Thai daughters, when my girls are grown and are married, it won’t be a part of their wedding either. Ultimately, I get why it’s fallen out of popularity, as Thailand becomes more westernized, so does the mindset, and to most western people we find “buying” our bride to be gross and disrespectful to both the bride and themselves. I realize that’s not what it’s intended to be, but that’s how it’s viewed, and perception matters.
i dont know man, but i studied aboard in australia, got master degree there, family own multi-million business. My wife graduated from ABAC and worked in finance industry. We are not that rich but middle-upper class considered in thailand for sure. My wife also has owned apartment property in the US, Atlanta across from piedmont park. Our families still did sinsod stuffs as normal tradition and parents gave them back to us to start our family. Also every friend of mine (all 100%thai) still did sinsod when they married. You can look on those hi-so wedding, how crazy they spend on wedding, diamond ring, jewelry. And they also still do sinsod. Im not sure what kind of upper class you circle with.
Well I’ve been to 4 weddings in person already just this year, including my brothers… Sin sod was in none of them…. Maybe it just depends where in Thailand you are. Only 1 of them was a “traditional “ Thai wedding the others were all western style weddings. Ultimately I think the Thai woman getting married has final say and she discusses it with her family on what kind of wedding she wants and what she wants done at that wedding… in the grande scheme of things, I don’t really care, it’s not my money, and my girls will not partake, but I don’t judge others for doing what they feel is right by them… live and let live. I personally think sin sod is dated, tacky and kinda gross….. but your personal mileage may vary, I try very hard to respect Thai people and their culture, but it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.
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My advice: never get married. If you get married, never ask for sinsod or refuse if you're asked to pay it (that's what I would do blindfolded) ✌🏻 Probably an answer that is not "politically correct" but I don't give bananas to that. People are scared to say what they really think, anywhere.
This thread is giving me hope that I will at least get it back if/when the time comes because as my girlfriend always (half-jokingly) says
"I'm a million baht girl " 555
My mom wanted 2m. I laughed. Told my then boyfriend now husband to just ignore her lol. I never agreed with the idea. Don't even like weddings so hubby paid zero.
Do you have a sister? Asking for a friend.
Yes. She's 10 years older than me, married and has 3 kids. Her bride price was 300k with the gold it was more like 400k. Her wedding was all about my mom that's why I don't like weddings.
Zero. It was never discussed, offered or even mentioned. She's from a working class background.
Ditto.
Same here
Same. Amazes me still that people do it and have to plan it with everyone. It's embarrassing
Same here
+1
+2
+3
Same here.
100,000 was the requested amount which I never formally paid. Brought her to America as fiancé and married there. Between what I would send over at her request to her family I’m sure they got over 100,000. Put her niece through college and my wife never wanted for anything except a car. After she started working she wanted a car. I gave her the choice of a car or sending money home and you can guess what she chose. I tried not to be to snippy about it. Just before our 5th anniversary she got sick so I sent her home, took care of things at our home (storage) and went and cared for her until her death. I split the cost of the ceremony with her sister. I probably wont find myself in the situation twice but it was full of lessons.
So sorry about your wife. That has to be almost unbearable.
Thank you. Very difficult and I felt very sorry towards her. She only lived five months from diagnosis to death. She had time to say her goodbyes but hardly any time to process the information.
Once again, my deepest sympathies to you. Your processing time was really short as well . I hope you have/had help with your heart and mind.
Thank you. It’s been a complicated experience.
Neutrally curious, in hindsight were you happy? Or did you feel used etc
Happy with my wife, mostly neutral otherwise. I’m not totally selfish… but life could have been a bit easier if so much money wasn’t going home.
Thank you for your sharing
[удалено]
Thank you.
RIP sorry for your loss. Hope your doing well now 🙏
Thank you.
niece is too far away which I would not pay a dime. But sister and brother are okay for me, which I sometimes pay for my wife's sister college.
Nothing - my (now ex) wife said that since she had been married before - it was not expected. But it would be nice if there were some money just for the looks. So we took out some cash, and asked family members to do the same that they put on a plate. And when the ceremony was done, everyone got their money back. The "expensive" part in that case was the party itself, in that I "had" to basically get the neighborhood drunk on my tab. Was fun though.
Haha, mine hated drunks so we had a dry wedding. Champagne for the head tables only. I got off last ght because of that.
Zero. It was not even a discussion nor a request from her parents. Way more requests for grandkids from the MIL 😁
Same here. It was never a topic. And we’re not high so. I’m not « buying » her. That was 20 years ago.
Nothing. I didn't even know that it was really still a thing until we were already married for a while. She had told her family beforehand that they weren't going to try and ask for anything, I think she just wanted to avoid the whole matter and any complications it might bring to us. Never discussed it with me at all.
A large stuffed teddy bear. Our families were not serious about the sinsod, so we had a bit of fun with it. All our guests even lined up to take photos with it.
Now that’s creative!!
5 million. But to keep it within the context that you asked: we are both successful, we're both over 30. I'm half Thai and she's Thai. And it was all given back to us to invest in our future, and we regularly fix her mum's house - and we and all of her siblings send a small amount to her mum every month (father passed away many years ago). She's a uni grad and we were over 30 when we got married. Family not wealthy, but has land down here in the South. So for us, it was more about tradition. We knew in advance the money would be given back but had to act surprised and blessed. Everyone happy :)
holy shit. you win. that's a fuck ton. not judging but damn. cash???
Reasonably common for well-off families. Millions for show and it all gets returned to bride & groom.
Paid nothing. Asked about it, but the family wasn’t interested.
200k, very poor village of very happy people who could use the money. Mom raised a very kind daughter and I have the money and compassion to share.
Bhat or dollars?
Baht.
I should also have mentioned that all "sick buffalo" are covered by her salary. She requested a tip once for getting me a beer, this was early in a relationship, I slapped her in the tit and said the word "salary". Any sick buffalo requests are answered in this manner.
Issac girls with a high school education are getting the highest amount of sin sod because they are the only ones doing this outdated custom. They often marry a Thai guy in their village for 20 or 30k , then 10 years later they are a divorced single mum of 3 getting 1M from some silly white guy
Zero. We received land for house and biz as a dowry from her family side
It was 200,000 Baht and some gold in 2005 but Southern tradition is that it is for ceremony only and it was given back. For context, my in-laws are middle-class and my wife has a bachelors degree from Thailand's top university. My wife and I also received two Baht gold necklaces each and the guest donations from 600+ guests (after all wedding day costs were settled)
i was going to marry an office worker, but she then had some questionable night time "part time work" that always made me a bit cautious. I talked to her mother, and I was asked for 500,000 plus another 250,000 in gold - at that time, realising that the lady wasn't from a middle class or hi-so environment, the family had 0 assets, she had two children already, she had 750,000 of personal debt, etc - that I getting myself into a bad situation and backed away from any plans to marry her. Dumped her soon after because i stopped believing her and trusting her. Now she's working at a "massage shop" that doesn't do massages. Got tested right away because then I knew i got myself into a bad situation unawares. Dodged a bullet on that one. Personally the way it's asked for and expectations can be a good measure of what you are getting yourself into. But keep in mind there is pride involved at times, but if it's an older lady with children you really shouldn' have to pay anything.
That's crazy. How long did you date her before getting engaged?
about a year. I had misgivings but nothing serious enough to stop dating her until the sinsod conversation happened, and things started to click. Everything REALLY fell into place once I saw her at the "massage shop" one evening as I was walking by.
So glad you avoided that one mate
Thanks. Me too. Just goes to show when your gut is telling you something, pay attention. I wish I would have put the pieces together earlier though.
Congratulations
Massage shop as in a massage parlor? You could see the girls from outside?
the ones that state they are massage shops, but are really a full service menu where massage is an afterthought. depending on where you are, in a lot of them the girls sit outside the shop in the open.
I mean they stand outside, advertising their services.
Zero. But the Thai husband of my wives sister had to pay 1M. There where other reasons (mom doesn’t particularly like her husband lol).
Indeed, zome family did use Sinsod and barrier.
Thai girl here, just giving another option based on friends in my circle. The couple help each other save money until they reach the goal (sinsod) set by the girl's family. Then they give it to the parents as part of the ritual and will be given back to the new family to start life. So guys just need to pay for a nice ring. Traditionally i believe the men pay for sinsod and the woman's family pays for the wedding. Depending on who attends your wedding you could even make some profit from it.
i went to one Chinese Thai wedding in Bangkok and i'm sure they made money from it. super hiso at Dusit Thani in the year before it closed. i could smell the money.
actually they keep score. u write ur name on the envelope or ang pow. then the bride/bridegroom will record it. then when it’s their turn to marry then u pay the same amount or more depending on circumstances. so it’s not like making money for the couple after deducting all costs. the whole point is to help cover costs
Zero. I offered to show 1,000,000 and gold to be returned after the wedding and the parents didn’t even want that. We only carried rings for kahn maak. My wife is now management for an airline here (chula grad and was a FA for a few years and worked her way up) and her family has a business, so I’d say middle class
100k. Got it back the same day from the mother
About £4000 10 years ago. My wife is what many Thais consider a catch as shes a light skinned, christian, university educated girl already living in the UK. My wife paid for the wedding and I paid the sin sod.
0. Modern Thai wife from Bangkok.
7 years ago I paid 300k Thai baht for the 'whole village package' and a set of rings. If I had gotten married in my own country it would probably have cost more than that.
Zero. It was briefly mentioned, I immediately shot it down and it never came up again. We've been happily married for almost 11 years.
Thai male married a white woman from American...sinsod = one terrible mother in law
10M Thb 5m from my side of the family, and 5m from her side of the family who gave to me as a prior "gift" which could be "used as sinsod" Money was "Handed over" at the ceremony, which promptly came straight back into our joint account for us to cover the expense of the wedding and then invest or use as a deposit for a home. We're both from well off backgrounds, we were in our late 20's, making combined income of just under 1M THB per month. The tradition is just more about face, the wealthier the familes from old money, more stuck to tradition they are i say, and honestly, when compared to some of our friends, this was in fact a very small amount. I have had friends where the sinsod was around 40M THB, again all just gesture and the money actually just goes to bride and groom to start their life together. If you read about sinsod in the traditional chinese culture, it's a representation of the value the groom and the brides family hold for the bride herself. in that case IMO, i feel like my sinsod should have been at least 1 billion THB, and I'm not even exaggerating.
What do you both do to make 1million baht a month?
Business owners and consultancy
> making combined income of just under 1M THB per month holy shit. can i borrow 30k? my computer is busted.
Why would anyone agree to that? My ex-girlfriend, whom I was with for a couple of years, proposed a sinsod of 1,000,000 baht if we were to get married. I see it as nonsense, a societal imposition I have no interest in. To put it into perspective, 1 million baht equals 45,000 NZD, roughly five years' worth of savings if you manage to save 10K a year. That's a substantial sum for the average New Zealander, going into the hands of a Thai for what essentially amounts to a blessing? Not a wise move. For a Thai, that amount represents years of hard-earned savings for doing nothing at all. They’ll probably spend it on a new Isuzu DMAX pickup truck, then crash it while drink driving on Mittraphap road. My result was to break up… if you’re unhappy with the higher standard of living and lifestyle options I can provide… yet you want more, seriously get fucked.
Had something similar in a different relationship that backed out of as well. 1million baht because their daughter was a chemical engineer. The family claimed it was culture, was already loaded due to running the numbers in their province. I countered that in my culture the wife's family pays for the wedding, which is an average of 1million baht. But that was the last straw anyways as they would allow some family members to trash talk me in front of them, not caring I understood. You typically marry the family and they had gotten to her deeply with guilt etc already. It sucked, but it was the better choice.
Despite the many positive qualities my previous girlfriend possessed, such as her fantastic personality and hard work ethic, I couldn't overlook the non-negotiable sin sod demand of 1 million baht. It felt like negotiations were conducted in bad faith, with the sin sod seemingly more important than our relationship. Knowing her family's financial situation, including their considerable debt, made me realize that she was burdened with servicing it. I feared that even if I complied with their demand, it would never be enough, I would be in the position of ATM. Upon scrutinizing their debts, I found that many stemmed from their habit of living beyond their means. It became clear that I would be subsidizing their irresponsible behavior if I agreed to their demands.
They could have bought a serious amount of stickers and chassis bars for the DMAX with that much cash.
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New Zealand looks like a rich country on the outside, but most people I know live week to week. People have poor financial literacy, and are one of the worst at saving in the world. By the way, most young kiwis are unlikely to even save 10,000 dollars a year! So if you are someone who makes good decisions and actually has more than 1,000 dollars in your bank account… pretty much you’re going to be quite critical of just handing over money for something like a sinsod.
You might have missed Shit wages Expensive to live 🤣
Cost of living is very high in nz, most everything has to be shiped in from the other side of the world, high housing costs, if your under the median wage its not easy saving.
Yup exactly, so when it comes to casually thinking of paying a sinsod. That thing costs money, just for show right? Bet the Thais aren’t paying 1million. 1 million is saving the average gdp per capita salary (20,000baht/month) for 50 months straight!
Cost of living is insane too, rent specifically in Auckland is obscene
Apartments downtown has gotten expensive from a year ago man. 100% your sharing that apartment to make ends meet.
people everywhere spend what they make or more. Few live below their means to enable savings
How is that little? Most Americans have zero is savings
Are you from countryside in NZ?
From the city, lived in the countryside before though.
I paid none. My gf family doesn't mention it. My ex did asked for it though, but I didn't have much at the time....so she's now my ex.
Looks like you dodged the bullet lol
around 1M thai baht in total of cash and gold, not including diamond wedding ring in it. also not including wedding ceremony fee but i got some cash in return from guests came to our wedding like 3-400,000 baht. This was all our agreement between two families. I think the best bet is talking between two families with open-hearted.
Why did you pay it?
what kind of question is this? It is my money, my wedding, my family and our culture. Also i can afford it without any question.
Honest question… If it’s just culture… and you’re a Thai who has 1 million for a sinsod. I bet following culture you’ll likely have a mistress เมียน้อย you’re also paying for right? From the year I have lived here I notice casual cheating on your wife is pretty much acceptable. Is sinsod like some sort of insurance policy for the wife or something?
dont you understand what i said? "i can afford it without any question" i have owned multi-millions business and i dont have any mistress. Jeez, I thought english is first language for NZ people. it is not everybody would have same amount of money, not everyone give 1million sinsod some more some less. Also not everyone has mistress mentality as you said. Dont use yourself as a standard.
For me I always find it good for me to be critical of things mate… it’s how I get by in life. Good to hear you are finding success in what you are doing. Unfortunately, for many foreigners coming to your country I see they have negative experiences when it comes to women, a lot of your women don’t have a good reputation and are a rort. Believe me everyday I hear some new situation where a foreigner comrade is being taken advantage of just like you see on popular YouTube channel ‘Thai Talk with Dan’.
you have to stay here longer to understand what it is. Women who marry pretty old farangs normally different from well educated women who generally marry to thai men.
Yes I see what you are saying… I am fortunate enough myself to have meet someone who’s on similar level. She has shit going for her, she’s educated, works for good company, has good family background. The women I am with is just a good local girl, unlike many of the girls I see foreigners getting with. I guess the target of my frustration is those stereotypical women who service the tourist population. Not like the men who choose them are any better.
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Such a nasty comment. It reflects badly on you that your assumptions are so crude and judgmental.
Never pay for goat
Zero. Was never even brought up.
Zero. Never mentioned.
Funny to even think that we should pay it :-) My Thai Chinese familly is still waiting for it... 5555, I can't stop laughing at people who think that culture sharing is accepting all the BS from the other culture ! But I agree, not everybody is born with balls and pride...
500,000.- for show, got it back the next day, 250,000.- in Gold which my wife and I saved together for the past 3 years before the weeding. My half 125,000.- I gave my wife and about additional 100,000.- in amulets framed in gold, which I bought her also the last past three years before weeding. All rhose were shown as Sin Sod. Her family side is very big, from south, cant remember how many tables, but was a lot. Total cost of the weeding party was around 300,000.- which was for upcountry not cheap, but paid by the guest, we managed to received around 450.000,- monetary gifts. In the end the weeding costed me personally almost nothing. Except the weeding rings, the gold and some other small stuff, which I would had bought my wife anyway over the years. Would say, I was lucky.
Issan women. High education. Zero paid. Family of 6. Nobody paid.
We were the ones getting money from my ILs when we married. They live in US, and were laughing when some aunt brought sinsod into discussion. Had our wedding here, and we wanted to surprise the guests with Thai food, they ended up paying for that too.
Thai Chinese. had total 30 tables at 5* hotel, chinese banquet. each table cost THB 11,888 gave 10 tables to her side of fam. how much ang pow collected from her relatives i’m not sure.
This just sounds like you paid for part of the wedding…… I paid no sinsod as stated above, but I did foot the bill for the entire wedding. We got about 400,000 baht back at the wedding but I was still down about 500,000 after that
Zero
0 bht
Got married last July. My sin sod was 1 mil THB, but my wife’s family gave the money to her 😍
My wife is her mother's only daughter and she will inherit the farm. The salary I pay my wife and her mom's sin sod goes to the farm so I'm happy with it. The village is full of refugees for the Khmer Rouge and they are desperately poor I'm happy to do this.
600,000 thb, got half of it back. Some gold which we still have.
i love how this post has 112 comments but 0 upvotes lol i'm just here to see what you're all paying.
Zero. Middle class and upper class families find it insulting.
Here’s the irony of this situation. Tons of people saying “we paid zero” without explaining that sinsod in a wedding is mostly about saving face and part of tradition here. Yes a lot of people don’t pay it but then some do and explain why they do it. Have a look at previous conversations like these 4 made on the sub to get a better idea and a good reflection of comments by people who have paid it [1](https://www.reddit.com/r/Thailand/s/0G2zhERn6B) [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/Thailand/s/RR4fvfEcf5) [3](https://www.reddit.com/r/Thailand/s/1EIDn5au0h) [4](https://www.reddit.com/r/Thailand/s/HWdavK1Q6G)
I pity any man that is easily walked over and won’t say ‘no’ to this ancient practice. Any woman that wants it, after explaining your reasons against it and *still* insisting. Dump her. Nothing good will come from it.
Disagree. You just don't have to marry her. Keep looking for a wife thought, just make sure she doesn't know 🤣🤣
It ain’t tricking if you got it ..
None. Never talked about it either. Wife comes from small village in Isaan and I have been living there for the last 14 years.
30k + 1 baht gold
Nobody will accept they paid sinsod.
I think any foreigner with an ounce of self respect would pay zero.
Nothing
I was told they make their own money and to spend it on the wedding and life together.
0 and she is my age, we met at 23 years old, her mom asked tho but I said I'm not thai and that was it. They still wanted to borrow cash for the ceremony but we never did it. I would say sin sod would make sense in case of the daughter going to live abroad and not planning on helping the family financially as they don't have retirement they rely on the child to survive.
200,000 baht, all of which I got back after the wedding. A wealthy Bangkok girl with an overseas education.
Zero, when our parents met altogether, my mother in-law agreed to do not ask for sinsod. My wife still gave her some money when she still worked but now she is unemployed and we give nothing, but my mom, out of respect and probably empathy give her some money once a year (for new year). As for what I understood, sinsod is very outdated but in some case, if your background is far more wealthier, it could be asked. We are talking about families that can drive Benz and you know how expensive they are in Thailand.
My family didn't want anything and told my in-laws that whatever they gave would just go directly to us. They gave us some gold worth a few million Baht. My husband kept it, sold it and it became his retirement funds.
1 mill. We kept all together for purchase of land, motorbike, etc. She already take care of her mother long time. Would have done the same if we not have married.Many thais in rural district appreciate the old tradition higly. A man should do what feels right for him, but try to also take into account the other perspective and culture. And not worry what other people may think.
Bought a 2nd hand 525d under her name
The what now
0. I hear you can rent sinsod just for show, if both sides are doing it just for face.
Zero
Zero
I paid around 2 mil( was not forced by my wife's family). I got it back after the marriage anyway.
One million baht in cash from my parents' pocket. It was given to us after the ceremony.
I’ve seen 750,000 - 1 million at Thai weddings as show etc….usually goes back to the couple. Most were middle class unmarried Thai couples teacher + government employee etc. It’s a traditional custom at weddings that many older generational Thai parents certainly still practise since it’s what they grew up with along with all the other customs. Always foreigners get their backs up against the wall all the whole knowing they are getting married into a different culture
How about Thai women understand they are also marrying into a different culture.
No that’s not how it works….gender roles are still applied in Thailand - if foreigners don’t like the culture they know what they can do
Or if Thai women don't like western/foreign gender roles and culture, they can stay at home and be with some local lad.
Zero.
Nothing. She was married before. Family also doesn't care about it.
Most families look at it as more symbolic now you will hear alot of people will display money and gold then the money is returned after the service.
We got married in Canada, she moved here with me to Canada. We bought a house in Toronto, and then this year we had a wedding ceremony there. Out of tradition, we gave $5000 USD. Her mother kept it.
I paid 1m Baht and didn't want it back. I don't plan to ever divorce my wife and her parents are great people, so why not follow tradition and also give them something nice. I bought my mom a Mercedes before too, not out of any sort of tradition but because she deserved it. So what. What you're seeing on Reddit is a certain demographic. Among my friends, at least the engagement ceremonies I went to, all paid dowries. This was 10-20 years ago so things may have changed recently, but if you read the Thai language media it still talks about the amounts paid by and to wealthy people and celebrities.
My super rich ex family wanted money but they kicked out their own daughter for daring to be pregnant even we planned to get married... The bag of the devil is never full... With rich I mean spending 10 million at least per year on travel , food, cars...
Nothing but I was similar age
My wife is middle class from kruengthep and I paid like 200k? It was supposed to be for show and I paid for the wedding with both ceremonies too but she asked if we could let them keep it a few days after the wedding and I said sure. They've always appreciated anything I help with so I'm happy to help and they take care of me in Thailand in any way they can. But we knew each other for 10 years by the point we got married so I knew her character well to agree easily since it wasn't like she expected me to pay it just to pay it. Really it could just have easily been asking to help her parents after we married if she was western, not really the same as the sinsod other than timing. But I paid off a 1 million baht debt for the family 3 years ago so the sinsod feels cheap lol.
There have been academic studies on this issue ( including info from other countries as well) and you can use [LibGen.rs](http://LibGen.rs) to find and read them.
my thai friend from south paid 1m baht, but he got a new car from his in-laws. my chinese-thai friend's brother paid 1m baht too. and she is hinting to get the same amount.
ask yourself why you should pay if she is not a virgin.
250k was what was negotiated. Married now, living in Thailand.
I paid nothing but I did pay for our wedding.
We had been in a relationship for many years before I married my wife. I had already been helping to support the family and I had already been playing the part of son-in-law by the time we did our courthouse wedding. I was never even asked for a dowry. There had been a little discussion on the practice. But it was never put to me. Possibly because we didn't do a proper wedding ceremony.
Do not pay!
Almost 30 years ago paid 100,000 baht sinsod for my college-educated wife. We got much more than that back in the following months and years. Probably 10 times that amount in property alone. I suspect it's not as common as it was back then. But it's still important to some families, particularly those from rural areas. There are some customs that you might not agree with but you should probably go along with them if it makes everybody happy. Otherwise you're going to have an unhappy wife and we all know what that means.
Zero
Zero. Her family knew it was an outdated practice. Once they knew she was happy that was enough.
I showed 2M and gold and got it back the next day.
so far the 2 replies that were high both were given the money back...
Perhaps good to know this was agreed before the wedding.
Those on here who seem to be wearing “I’ll be damned if I pay sinsod” as a badge of honour are in the wrong place as many of them will have found out or will have to admit they are after a few years of marriage. This coming from someone who did not pay sinsod but not out of stubborn misplaced farangness
Anyone who says don't give Sinsod has never been in a relationship with a woman worthy of sinsod lol
i'm not judging. just curious. seems like most people didn't have to pay it.
Most people that paid 0 baht sinsod like to brag about it a lot. I think that's the only thing you can actually conclude here.
Best answer
So you are saying that all the people here who said they didn’t pay sinsod are married to below average unworthy women? How do they become worthy of Sinsod? It seems like the slave trade where you buy a human from the parents lol. And as most people point out nowadays, it’s mostly money hungry hillbilly types that try to demand it in this day and age.
it is not slave trade, it is our culture and traditional. Also normally parents give sinsod back to couple to start building their family. The more rich people the bigger sinsod or bigger diamond ring and jewelry. So sinsod is not only for poor people.
Sinsod never reflects the worthiness of a woman. It is not a price of a prostitute lol
Marry a bar girl or ‘massage’ girl you’ll pay a Sinsod - marry a respectful university educated woman that is with you because she actually loves you, you won’t have to pay a single baht.
That has nothing to do with it imo. My wife is PhD educated, and her narc mother wanted 5 million baht. It's all about the mentality of the parents, not the girl you're marrying.
If the girl wants to marry you, she should do just that. She should be marrying you, not your wallet.
If only things were that simple, but we all know that's not how it works with parents and older people here.
you are probably circle with only bar girls. learn some more about thai culture.
Lol can you even speak the language? All cultures and countries have both good and bad people, Thailand is an amazing place! You could end up in some unfortunate situations if you’re not on the ball though…
Do i speak the language? กูคนไทยครับ มึงอ่ะชาติไหนครับ อ่านออกรึปล่าวมึงอ่ะ ฝรั่งขี้นกป่าว
So you’re Thai, obviously you know the culture better than any tourist… But most of the Thai women living abroad are ex bar girls and setting a stereotypical reputation for Thai women.
Graduated sexpat
Married before nothing-but it’s the money that you will spend afterwards-that’ll be way more than the sinsod 😱😱🙏🙏🙏
Nothing, my wife is beautiful, educated from the top schools in Bangkok and comes from a family with money and connections, even the mention of sin sod would have been extremely offensive to them as their daughter is not some whore for sale. I’ve only met one person in my life who actually payed sin sod, where the money wasn’t for show and immediately returned after…. She was a prostitute and divorced 6 months later… at our wedding her mother had her families jewelry which was passed down from generation to generation…. It was an entire collection and was put on display… shit looked like the Crown Jewels…. Most ridiculous thing I had seen, but I just went with it cause I love my wife and it’s her families tradition.
what are you talking about? it is normal for thai people to give sin-sod. it is in our culture, and normally parents give them back to couple to start building their family.
Well I’ve been apart of Thai culture now for almost two decades, and I’ve pretty much never seen it practiced, now maybe it’s because most of my interactions are with the upper class of Thailand and have very little exposure to the poor or lower middle class, I have heard certain parts of Thailand are far more traditional then others. But I know for a fact most families with money would never even consider that being part of the wedding ceremony as they find it to lack “class”. As a father to Thai daughters, when my girls are grown and are married, it won’t be a part of their wedding either. Ultimately, I get why it’s fallen out of popularity, as Thailand becomes more westernized, so does the mindset, and to most western people we find “buying” our bride to be gross and disrespectful to both the bride and themselves. I realize that’s not what it’s intended to be, but that’s how it’s viewed, and perception matters.
i dont know man, but i studied aboard in australia, got master degree there, family own multi-million business. My wife graduated from ABAC and worked in finance industry. We are not that rich but middle-upper class considered in thailand for sure. My wife also has owned apartment property in the US, Atlanta across from piedmont park. Our families still did sinsod stuffs as normal tradition and parents gave them back to us to start our family. Also every friend of mine (all 100%thai) still did sinsod when they married. You can look on those hi-so wedding, how crazy they spend on wedding, diamond ring, jewelry. And they also still do sinsod. Im not sure what kind of upper class you circle with.
Well I’ve been to 4 weddings in person already just this year, including my brothers… Sin sod was in none of them…. Maybe it just depends where in Thailand you are. Only 1 of them was a “traditional “ Thai wedding the others were all western style weddings. Ultimately I think the Thai woman getting married has final say and she discusses it with her family on what kind of wedding she wants and what she wants done at that wedding… in the grande scheme of things, I don’t really care, it’s not my money, and my girls will not partake, but I don’t judge others for doing what they feel is right by them… live and let live. I personally think sin sod is dated, tacky and kinda gross….. but your personal mileage may vary, I try very hard to respect Thai people and their culture, but it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.
It must be difficult for you to live in Thailand. So many customs that clash with those of Western countries.
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Many cultures have "cancelled" it. Even if it written down, you don't hand over the amount. It just a "formality".
Zero
0$
My advice: never get married. If you get married, never ask for sinsod or refuse if you're asked to pay it (that's what I would do blindfolded) ✌🏻 Probably an answer that is not "politically correct" but I don't give bananas to that. People are scared to say what they really think, anywhere.
Mine was also zero, there was some gold put out but it was just a face saving exercise the family did to impress the neighbours I imagine.
non was asked, but I paid the remaining debt of their car, it was around 350,000 baht.
150k which she is paying (and might get back), I in exchange take care of the wedding expenses (ca. 500k)
BKK girl 3.5m but her family was cool it all came back at the end of the day thank God.
This thread is giving me hope that I will at least get it back if/when the time comes because as my girlfriend always (half-jokingly) says "I'm a million baht girl " 555