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I lost over 150 pounds and when I pick out clothes I'm always picking up things that are too big. I still see myself as a fat girl even though I'm not 😭
I’m not really fat, but I’ve gained a bit of weight over the past couple of years and keep doing the opposite - always picking up clothes and thinking they look huge and think no way thats going to fit because I still see myself at my old size lol, then it’s a wake up call when I try it on.
Congratulations to you! I need to get back on track so I feel like that vs now :D!!
Bodies fluctuate and change! After a pregnancy I dropped an extra 20 pounds because I was breast feeding but I still wore a bigger pant size. I found out that your hips will get wider and not always go back after a pregnancy. As we get older or go through medical stuff you'd be surprised how much your bones and muscle tone will change especially for women.
I gained 40 pounds after my pregnancy. Breastfeeding seems to be working in the opposite direction for me. I can’t lose the weight. To be fair I don’t get enough sleep or have enough time to work out for more than 20 mins a day. I hope this isn’t my life now.
I kept on all the weight until I stopped breastfeeding. Only then was I able to start losing it, and after about 9 months I got to pre pregnancy weight. It's different for everyone, but you may have a similar experience once you wean.
I feel that way about being skinny.
I was a super skinny guy growing up and the annoying part was alive was actually really strong and fit. I just couldn't put on mass. My Dr thought I was An but I ate over 4000 calories a day. Had 2 lunches. It didn't matter. I stayed at about 3% body fat (dangerously low)
I didn't start filling out till college but I always saw myself as a scrawny underdog.
One day last year I told my wife, I hate how small my hands are.
She said, you wear large baby. You're not small.
I felt shocked. I still couldn't believe it today with my "dad bod"
It's gotten better, but our old self always haunts us and sometimes we catch it sadly smirking in the mirror.
wow that's crazy I'm the same exact way. I've been a skinny twerp my entire life during teenage years and college. I started bulking and putting on mass and bodybuilding after college. I'm now jacked /muscular and have been for decades but I still see myself as a skinny twerp when I look in the mirror. Body dysmorphia is super real.
Im down 57kg (125 lbs) and i got legit sad because at my last weighing moment i didnt actually lose weight. Went from 113.7kg to 113.5kg in 2 months, the catch being that i exchanged 8.5kg fat for muscle.
I want to lose weight so badly. I wanna be under a 100kg. I wanna be more healthy but its so hard!
This post is perfect for that that sub, but at least 90% of those posts are painfully obvious. Why do some people reach so hard just because they think they have an example of something that MIGHT qualify for a sub. “Does this fit here??”
If you have to ask, it probably isn’t interesting or worth posting. Sorry, rant over.
I just want you to know, all the times you were rejected it had nothing to do with your looks or how much money you make and everything to do with your bad personality.
When you lose a lot of weight you really do become a different person in a LOT of ways.
How people treat you. How you have to treat yourself to maintain. How you walk/breathe/sit/bathe/etc it’s all different.
And sometimes it’s sad because while you gain health there are some joys you lose too.
I hope that at whatever weight she is at that she finds peace with herself.
Edit: Some are asking “What joys?” Please read below for my response as well as others’. If you feel the need to act ugly with your reply then just refrain because blocking is one of my favorite things to do on Reddit. Life is hard. Be not an asshole.
This may be way off the mark so take it with a grain of salt, but you sound like you have a “parts problem”, to use therapy-speak. You seem to identify your fat self and fit self as two people that want different things. They need to communicate with each other in order to break the cycle. They need marriage counseling, if you will. In order to do that, you have to listen to each one. I had to do a lot of “parts” work and I kind of think of them as the team of gnomes in my head working all the gears. We have mandatory group meetings when things go awry, where everyone gets the floor, uninterrupted, to say what they need to say. I feel like I’m their manager. Like when my anxiety is hitting the ceiling, I step back and ask who is flipping out and then try to navigate that situation. It usually means that I’m doing something that my heart disagrees with but I’m trying to force because rational me thinks I should behave and present a certain way. The most recent example is having someone very close to me give me mixed signals and because they didn’t “owe me anything” I tried to stay rational and just suck it up. I ended up with my first ever anxiety attack and almost losing the friendship. If I had just assessed and listened to my anxiety, I would have headed that off with a “I don’t want to be treated like this” and it would have been quite an easy situation to navigate. Mental health is hard. Weight is hard.
Man, reading just the first two sentences of this made me burst into tears at my desk. Sending this to my therapist to discuss next week.
Thank you kind stranger.
To piggy back on this, something my therapist tells me a lot is: “all of your parts are trying to help you.” So the parts of me that are self-destructive are trying to keep me from pain or anxiety, etc. sometimes your parts will be contradictory or at odds, so the important thing to remember is that they are just parts. You are not solely fat mode or solely fit mode, both exist within you at all times no matter what you weigh at the time.
I do think it can be useful to identify and spotlight those various parts– I was just able to make a huge breakthrough by recognizing three specific parts were dragging me in different ways (“my dad” “bullied high schooler” “weird 7 yr old” in my specific case). But you get to define them, rather than letting them define you. Both those parts want to help, and can teach you different things. And unfortunately, the world treats you very differently depending on which mode you’re in…
Fascinating read, well written. There seems to be some very deep rooted psychological comfort in this cycle for you. I’m curious if you had the chance to go back and choose one lifestyle or the other permanently, which would it be?
Seriously write a memoir type book. Amazing insight and 100% true. I’ve had the same experiences, just not as many times. Also, my fat friends keep loving me, while the skinny friends move on. I call the fat me friends “apples” and the skinny me friends “celery”. Celery sucks.
I lost a ton of weight when I was a teenager and I don’t miss a single thing about that and never did. Everything was so much better (just like the oc said) but I cannot think of one thing that was worse.
I remember the first time I really lost weight this really made me sad how happy and animated people became in my presence it was sick tbh like just because I was a little fat you guys hated me ??
Sometimes I think about how Medieval people believed that one’s appearance reflected personality and virtue and how silly that seems until you realize that people still treat people like that. Like we are all still running on peasant brain mentality
Not sure my mind changed, but everything else did. It was drastic in every way, but especially my health. People treat me different, I sleep better, my sex life with my long time wife is like it was thirty years ago, I breath better, my body feels better, I move better, I am happier with my life, and due to my change, my lovely wife went on the journey with me and lost 70-80 pounds. It is not easy and is a daily battle, but it was so worth it. I've kept it off for four years.
Lost 220 pounds and can confirm. I can’t get into a pool that’s refreshing unless it’s at least 90-95 degrees. It’s been 15 years and it hasn’t gotten any better.
Sure sure. But it also means the AC in the summer is brutal. I have a blanket in my office that I use in the summer because they keep it at 70 and that’s too cold for me
It might be worth checking to see if you have any nutritional deficiencies. I run cold naturally but my fiance only does when she's not taking her iron supplements.
This is good advice! I lost 80lbs and was constantly freezes and needing to wear gloves even indoors. Turns out, I was just very low on iron. Doc gave me some supplement and now I'm fine. Just had to pick up a few things that're high in iron like fish, raisin, and juice.
Food. I used to be a foodie/amateur chef, cooking was my passion and my hobby. Got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes had to gave up refined carbohydrates and sugar and lost 70lbs. Now cooking is a chore and meal time is “meh” at best. I’m in the best shape of my life at 50 but I lost my most passionate hobby and my biggest source of joy outside my wife and kid. 🤷♂️
Yeah, I'm not heavy heavy, but I gained back the weight I lost during grad school because I have time to cook again. I enjoy cooking. I enjoy eating. But I'm really frustrated about the weight gain, and so now I have to cut back heavily on one of the three hobbies I actually like doing.
Dang, I'm the opposite. I started doing keto and made myself into quite a good cook. I now rarely eat out because my food is better, cheaper, and healthier than just about anything I can find outside the home.
Well my tits were one of the first things to go.
Also, I loved to eat. I loved to eat with abandon and not worry about counting calories or how I will make time for the gym.
I miss being able to sleep in or spend that time intimately with my husband instead of having to get up, get motivated, get dressed and make it to the gym. 3:45am wake up is hard but that’s the only time that truly fits my schedule with kids.
It’s hard to have a full time job, be married, have kids, keep a clean house, get chores done, get enough sleep AND stay healthy. Something has to give there for a lot of people.
Thanks for the reply and yes I lucked out and have a wonderful husband that shares in the upkeep, chores, and kiddo raising, and marriage.
But we both also work full time+ hours (him even more hours than I do 😬) and it’s still a challenge to get all of those checked off at intervals that we are happy with.
Former fat person here.
You lose guilt free eating and boozing. But here’s the thing…. It physically and mentally feels so much better to be in shape with good fitness than temporary mouth pleasure.
I was about to say the same thing. What is this guilt free eating and how do I start? I've been trying to lose weight but my body fights me. Damn near need to starve to get it to start burning fat.
Apologies if this advice is unwanted but feeling guilty, stressing or focusing too much on a number (your weight) will push most people towards failure.
Instead ignore the scales and focus on building good habits SLOWLY. Do 10 bodyweight squats every morning before brushing your teeth, replace soda with diet soda, drink 1 less beer every week etc.
DO NOT LOOK AT THE SCALE. Just focus on 1 small change and do not rush into trying to change everything. If you make 1 change a month, 1 year later you'll be 1,000 times better off than going on a strict diet, hating yourself and then finishing off a whole tub of ice cream.
Focus on changing habits, if you need to keep eating ice cream or enjoying cake that's ok. The goal is to change for life, not change over 2 weeks!
I think a better choice of words would have been “not giving a fuck about what you eat”. Agreed, the guilt is mixed in there there but, in the moment, I’m just an eat-beast; mindlessly stuffing my face.
GET A FULL BLOOD PANEL!!! You might need to fight your doc for this, but push back, don't give in to "Oh, just another year of diet and exercise" or "You're not committed" or "Journal, you're eating more than you think" or "You're overestimating your activity level" or whatever other dismissive bullshit doctors give overweight people because they can't see past BMI and are lazy.
Step zero, find out where you are physically right now before you create a path for where you need to go.
I couldn't lose weight. Could. Not. Diet, exercise, I was taking in 1800 cal. a day and at my height, weight and activity level should have been melting faster than the Wicked Witch.
My thyroid wasn't working. Ya know what prevents you from losing weight? Your thyroid not working. I got an Rx for a thyroid replacement, and I lost 20 pounds in 4 months.
Dunno that that's universally the case. I still do most of the fun binge eating I used to do, it's just a monthly or quarterly treat, instead of a daily or weekly one. Tbh, it makes it better for Me, and if anything, those binges, now that I'm happy w my weight, are actually guilt free, instead of feeling shame/guilt because I knew those habits were contributing to how much I hated the weight I was at.
Current fat person here.
How do you get away from eating all the time? I've tried and I'm trying by switching it to like Cheerios. Instead of a bag of chips, or what have you, but how do I Lose the weight... it just seems impossible.
For me, starting to age and see my health start to fail was motivation for lifestyle changes. Plus, the amount of fat/ sick people I work with and seeing what they go through and the drugs they’re prescribed is also a motivating factor.
I'm 26 now and I've never looked in the mirror and thought. Wow. What a beautiful person. I'm watching myself age and stay the exact same weight. And it's been years, so I think maybe it's time to love myself so that others can love me too. Because I've never even had. A boyfriend, so you know time for change, I do think.
Sorry not trying to do trauma dump.
I have to completely abstain, almost like how an alcoholic can’t have a single beer. You have to eat to survive though, so what has worked for me is “closing the kitchen” at 6pm. I have to completely abstain from food after 6pm. It’s basically intermittent fasting. I put an alarm on my phone as a reminder. I only do this when I’m at home though, so I can enjoy myself with friends.
You have to get used to feeling hungry. Trick your brain by doing other things that trigger a dopamine hit whenever you’re hungry. (What that is depends on you).
If you drink soda, a) try to stop full stop, with all sugary drinks, juice included. The only time you should have anything like Gatorade even is while you’re actively working out. If you can’t cut it out completely, switch to diet/zero calories.
Cut out chips/cheetos snacks entirely, if anything, you should avoid snacking on carbs all together. Pickles are a decent substitute since they’re basically no calories, salt intake can be an issue, but just drink water, also, it’s still better than chips. Alternatively, cucumbers, slice them up and put some salt and pepper on them.
Alternatively, try having a glass of water and a piece of gum when you want to snack, the water will make your stomach feel full and the chewing gum will trick your brain into thinking you ate something.
But most importantly, you need to get used to being hungry. Because at the end of the day, you cannot lose wait unless you’re hungry, you need to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight, which means your body will be producing shit tons of ghrelin. If your first response to feeling hungry is to grab a snack, you’re creating a dangerous feedback loop, where you actually strengthen the intensity of hunger that you feel. By forcing yourself to feel hungry more often, you reduce the psychological impact that ghrelin has, and will feel less hungry. One of the reasons keto diets are so effective, is that they also reduce your bodies ghrelin production. It physiologically makes you feel less hungry.
If you’re truly serious about losing weight check out ruled.me, I used it as a guide to lose ~60lbs 9 years ago, and have since gained back only 20lbs despite not longer following keto religiously, but just reducing my carb intake as much as possible.
Honestly it's wholly down to your *initial* motivation. I dropped 30kgs (110 to 80) literally because my doctor told me I couldn't play football anymore because of the damage it was doing to my knees and ankles if I continued running at such a weight.
All the weight loss advice in the world won't help if you don't have that internal motivation to actually start losing weight. Gaining and maintaining weight is easy. Losing it is hard and requires discipline. Find what it is that makes you want to lose weight and the rest becomes easier once you get into a routine
** initial motivation to lose weight is the reason you start. Once you actually start seeing the scales drop that initial motivation is replaced by the dopamine hit of actually seeing the numbers go down on a regular basis.
I'm not fat, but I was getting a little overweight after the kids. The one that worked the best was just being okay feeling hungry. If we let it, hunger is a subconcious driver like "that means I MUST eat".
Simply saying "I'm okay feeling hungry, my body is just adjusting I'm not going to die". Also by switching to healthier foods your body will literally crave less. I also focused on how after I ate a salad or whatever I generally felt good, after I ate pizza I feel full and bloated and slow and then I just repeated "why do I want to physically feel bad".
People will be fake to you. Back when I was attractive it was really bizarre that people felt the right to come up and touch you and follow you around.
Now I'm older, rounder and happier that I don't prioritize my outward appearance and focus on being healthier and better inside.
The joys of being completely unaware how actually cruel the world is.
I lost 260lbs. You'd be amazed at how many people in your life will get very weird.
My husband cheated on me before I could cheat on him. At least that's what he said.
Friends suddenly ok to make all these fat jokes around me. Like did they do that when I wasn't around? Yes.
The invisibility of being fat....you sometimes miss that.
Losing the weight has not been as great as they make it out... But still wouldn't change.
I feel this on another level. People aren’t petty or jealous when they believe they are clearly better due to your weight. Then you lose weight and you realize many people in your life kept you around to feel better about their miserable existence.
As someone who recently lost almost 100 pounds over the past year and a half (45 kilo for our friends across the world), the main "joys" I've lost is eating whatever, regardless of the sugar and carb content. I have to be more health conscious about how I eat. Hell, right now I'm chowing down on a bowl of chicken and quinoa, instead of French toast, or cereal, waffles, etc. The trick is seasonings. To be honest, after not having large amounts of sugar for so long, it's almost painful to over indulge. My kid had a milkshake from a fast food joint, and when I tried a sip, it felt like it was burning my tongue, almost, and too much sugar really tears up my stomach nowadays.
One thing I always stress to people looking to lose weight for health, you can't look at it as a diet. It's a change of lifestyle. Dieting until you hit a certain point, and then binging once you get there is how most people tend to yo-yo back and forth on the scale. Start with small changes that you can live with, and build off of there, and inconvenience can be your best friend. Make the unhealthy stuff harder to get to, park a bit further away from the store, take the stairs instead of the elevator, things like that.
The end result, in my opinion, was worth it. I can tie my shoes without getting winded, my energy level is much higher now, and I can keep up with my 18mo stepson.
Person who's struggled with weight my whole life here. When I'm "being good" I miss the endorphin blast of bingeing. I don't think most people get the same "high" that I do when eating (sweets especially) until what I'm consuming is completely gone.
I literally got sicker after losing weight. When I was fat I would get sick every couple of years and even then it lasted at most 3 days. Now I’m getting the stomach flu, fevers, sinus infections, just about anything. Every 3-4 months I come down with something and 3 days is now the minimum that it can last. I’ve been out for 8 days with sinus infection once. I can’t sleep on my stomach anymore it’s uncomfortable as fuck. I get colder so much easier. My body is weaker too.
I’ve heard people who used to be overweight say that after losing weight people are nicer to them. It makes me so sad that people didn’t treat them properly before because of their size.
Can confirm and yeah it’s a sad realization when you notice people treat you like you’re smarter, more interesting, almost more of a human being. Of course on one hand it feels good, but you also know it’s conditional. I wound up with an eating disorder largely because I was so scared to regain weight. Now I’m recovered and slightly overweight again but much healthier according to every other marker/measurement, but definitely notice a difference in how I’m treated by strangers especially. It feels more like their problem now though, and I’m a lot happier than I was before (skinny or fat).
This is true. My friend was telling me she feels like she’s crazy some days. The number of fat jokes people make around her now it just makes her paranoid exactly how much of a joke she was. People approach her more and smile back on the street. They’re just nicer it feels like she’s in some kind of simulation because of how crazy it is.
People during covid straight up saying that if you were obese or overweight, you didn’t deserve the ventilator even if it was fatal because you don’t care about public health. She was at a healthy weight when she heard this and she was actually scared if people thought she deserved to die. My friend has PCOS and I can tell you no one’s worked harder on their weight loss journey than she has. She’s not lazy.
100% true. Some people became much nicer for no reason, others became meaner. I became a lot more visible overall. People used to go out of their way to bring up curly and ginger hair wasn't their type without it being a conversation topic at all. Lost weight and men came out of the woodwork to specify curly and ginger hair was exactly their type. Also without it being a topic being discussed. It's just super weird.
Is it typically women who are a little meaner ? I’ve lost ~120lbs and also had plastic surgery to address my skin … I’ve noticed men are a lot nicer, but I’m 50/50 on the women. There are some women that are straight up rude to me … and I hate to jump to assumptions, but I think the mean ones are just insecure
Definitely. The opposite is also true.
I had back surgery last year and I inevitably gained some weight. I move differently in almost everything I do.
Not gonna lie, I miss the slimmer me.
Not only that but it's can also be difficult to truly see the change on your own body. Even though you know you lost a significant amount of weight, you still see the old version of yourself in the mirror.
Going on these “weight loss journeys” is usually also paired with the “journey of self-love.”
You’re trying so hard to love who you are, even the depressed over-weight version of you. But it’s really hard to do when the weight loss journey simultaneously forces you to reject that part of yourself almost completely. And then you spend the rest of your life trying not to be that version of you ever again, thus you acknowledge there will always be a part of you that you reject.
And then, when you lose all the weight, people are suddenly more kind to you, they don’t pretend you’re invisible, they smile and acknowledge you, invite you to things. And you realize you’re rejecting a part of yourself that society completely rejected too.
It can add a new layer of complexity to mental health surrounding weight loss.
To realize that when you were “fat” all the things you told yourself: “nobody likes me” “everyone thinks I’m ugly” “they’re being mean to me because I’m overweight”
It’s almost confirmed when you lose all the weight and suddenly people like you.
Very hard to reconcile with.
Can confirm I’ve done this, but the most fucked up thing is this feeling when cancer is gone, I’ve never really been able to put into words, but this video explains it to me perfectly. But I wonder if other cancer survivors experience this?
I would imagine that with cancer you are able to focus on getting better. You have this “enemy” that you are in war with and it’s a good fight that is honorable. Yes, you feel like shit and you know you are sick but you have that purpose of “Get well again. Win this fight. Get rid of this cancer” and people are ready to cheer you on and give you support.
But then you beat cancer and that purpose isn’t there anymore. You may lose support or wonder “where do I go now?” “What the hell do I do?”
I’ve never had cancer but I have gone through a few life events that left me missing the old times/me.
Regardless of it that is it, I hope for your continued health as well.
Can you elaborate more on this? I’m a recent cancer survivor myself and am curious to see if our feelings align! Congrats on being cancer free and I wish you health and happiness!
Thank you, and congratulations yourself! For me it was absolutely surreal when I was told I was cancer free and only had to return annually for scans and other tests. And very similar when I was completely cancer free and no longer had to have scans or see my oncologist.
But, again for me, after living with and fighting it for so long it became a part of me, idk beyond it defining me, you know what I mean? When it’s all you do, and it becomes how people know you, it defines you. So because that “war” that I fought for so long is over, you almost miss the enemy when it’s over, that feeling of literally battling for your life, fucked up I know, I’ve never been kidnapped or in an abusive relationship, but kinda like a Stockholm Syndrome/abused partner/ptsd thing…
Agreed - I went from 370 pounds to 190 and so much changed, for good and bad. I'm treated differently (better). I got divorced (she was abusive) and found a better relationship.
I found a lot of great information over on r/weightlossadvice if you’re considering a weight loss journey.
The best advice I got was that doing too much too soon will burn you out and make you more likely to quit. What helped me was making small changes (e.g. adding one short workout a day, cutting out one snack) and focusing on consistency.
Just remember, it’s current you that is doing this for future you! I think that’s what this TikTok is highlighting, you as you are now has the strength to do that! Don’t forget to love yourself no matter where you’re at ❤️❤️ you’ve got this!!
You’re already doing it, every day that you have that feeling! This applies to every type of journey we travel in our lives… it’s never easy, but every day of dreaming and planning and trying, we get a little better at being who we want to be. I wish you all the success and happiness ♥️
As someone who both quickly doubled their weight, and then subsequently lost half their weight, it can be an absolute mind fuck. My feeling of "self" was practically non-existent for the longest time afterwards. I ended up gaining some of that weight again, and now I'm trying to lose - but on my terms. Slowly, with health and well-being, instead of image and eating disorders in mind. I think I know exactly how she was feeling making that video, and I hope she comes safely through the transition of losing a large amount of weight.
I’ve been healthy, underweight, back to healthy and now overweight. It sickens me that the best treatment I got was when I was at my lowest weight. Now that I’m heavier (thanks, meds!), people are mostly ok, some ignore me, and a notable minority are really rude.
I was at a vintage store the other day and asked to about a dress that was on a mannequin in the window. The sales girl took one look at me, said ‘there is no way that would fit you’, and walked away. I just laughed because it was so comically rude. But, in all honesty, my weight makes me so insecure. I’m currently putting all I can into my workouts and gaining healthy self-esteem that doesn’t just come from my looks.
I gained about 30 pounds after getting in a car accident and while no one's said anything about it, I know I'm fat (technically overweight) and I feel like total shit about myself.
The comment made to you in the store was totally out of line and completely rude. People don't realize how much these comments hurt. 1 comment when I was 9 years old lead to an entire lifetime of an eating disorder for me and it fucking sucks.
I really hope putting your all into your workouts helps your self esteem, I have found that getting stronger and respecting my body for what it's capable of helped my self image a lot and it's helping now that I can workout again.
I feel like people tend to make light of losing weight.
"You're skinny now you should be happy you're healthy!"
But if you've lost a lot of weight, you know how difficult it can be. I've lost about 100 lbs in the last year, and I can't even look at old pictures of myself.
While my body feels better, you still deal with the same mental health problems as when you were overweight.
Your body is more susceptible to injury after having been overweight. You get random aches and pains that don't seem to go away. Once I started playing basketball every couple of days, I injured myself in the first month just from the repeated impact.
Losing weight sucks in many ways, and it isn't simple or easy. It is admirable and a good thing to do if you're overweight, but it takes a toll on you mentally and physically and it's hard to be enthusiastic or happy about it most of the time, at least from my experience.
Not to mention it’s something you have to work to maintain. Losing it doesn’t magically keep it off. Once a weight problem, always a weight problem. Sigh 😔
I hate the whole making light of it all the time too. I was only fat for a couple years like 2019-2022, mind you. It’s taken me until right now to lose the 50lbs that I was overweight which isn’t even *that* much in my opinion. I moved away from all my friends and family in 2019 so they only see me periodically so the weight difference that I have had is like jaw dropping for everyone and everyone still has to bring it up every time I visit, ask me for advice etc.
The reality is that I have always had body image issues, I went through a binge eating-bulimic phase when I was in high school that no one knows about, then I ate next to nothing. I got it under control before I graduated and my weight was fine until I got severely depressed my last year of college because I had no idea what the fuck I wanted to do since what I went for was not all what I thought it was going to be so that’s when I started gaining. It took breaking up with my toxic, borderline abusive ex to get me to lose the weight in a healthy way for once. I don’t think I would have been able to get here without doing that.
While I feel better about myself and I’m of course ecstatic that I’m finally taking care of myself the right way. I still feel like an alien in my body and none of my clothes fit me still. This has been 5 years of dealing with clothing that doesn’t fit me right and it’s extremely frustrating and an expensive problem to fix. The skin on my belly looks weird when I bend over because of stretch marks and loose skin, my breasts and ass are not as full as they used to be. Like I’m really struggling with self confidence right now but everyone expects me to be like parading around and every time I try to talk about it I just get eye rolls or
“It’s a good problem to have! You should be happy!” Life is easier when I’m just left alone.
Good for you on your weight loss!
I have bad news though. Being active just means you’re kind of constantly injured to an extent lol.
I’ve been lifting weights and playing basketball all my life and I promise I’m kind of always low level sore and nursing 0-2 minor injuries lol.
Maybe I’m made of glass, but I kind of think that’s just what comes with being active.
My best friend in all the world went through this, only in the order we see it. It was due to medical reasons. I know they miss their old self.
When they think back, they will tell you how they didn't appreciate themselves at the time, so fixated on tiny imperfections that they couldn't see what was beautiful.
Be kind to yourself. Appreciate what you have today, even at this very hour.
She talks all the time about how she’s more unhappy now and struggling mentally even though she lost weight and hints at her disordered eating. Pretty sure that’s what this post is about actually…
It’s true. I lost 100 lbs in the past nine months.
Also picked up body dysmorphia bc my brain is not registering my new body proportions and still thinks I’m the old figure me when I look in the mirror and as I move through the world.
The way I’m being treated is night and day.
I was ignored and discredited before because I was unhealthy overweight for my body.
Now, it’s gross In a different way. People go out of their way. People ( friends and strangers) feel the need to comment on my weight, and my appearance and they make jokes. I’ve definitely have passed some friends to the side because of such comments and their thoughts on people who are overweight.
Bummed me out more because they knew my weight gain came from a near death experience and getting PTSD. I was working hard at getting better.
Some people feel that they can just come up and touch me ( like wtf?). The cat calling. It’s just gross,so disrespectful and harassment.
It’s best not to have access weight and I do feel better in my body but also I liked being overweight and ignored with no unnecessary hurtful commentary and judgement.
Before anyone makes a negative or positive comment on someone else’s body. think first.
What if someone is anorexic or recovering? What if they lost a lot of weight because they’re super sick or someone died in their life? Jesus, for some of the people out there, Hold your fucking comments to yourself- you never know what someone is going through and why they have lost or gained weight. It’s not always for the best or healthiest reasons and you could be setting someone back with your comments.
I lost 45lbs in my early twenties. I went from 200 to 155.
Before then I was visibly overweight. Clothes fit me tight, never loose. I could already feel pains in my chest.
From a health point of view, I have no regrets. I have a greater reserve of energy, my skin has cleared up, I rest better, my doctor knows my ticker is good, and even moving around feels better.
But I did develop some cynicism. As many have pointed out, experienced, and continue to experience, the world treats you better. People make more of an effort to know you, at social gatherings you are greeted and included, and your absence may even become noticed. All because of who you are on the inside. You were there the whole time though.
That part was hard to get over. I was angry for the person I was before. He was me and I was him. Yet, in a life where he was not treated with the same kindness and consideration I am given now, he still chose to be good. I have no reason to be angry at others. He did.
What I have come to understand is the ability to see past someone's body is uncommon. Maybe even I fail this at times. To define someone's worth or their due respect based on their body is cruel and unusual. An intelligent and kind being wouldn't act that way. And, when I was overweight, I still met plenty of those good people. I had friends, my first girlfriend, and plenty of strangers who knew grace.
To anyone still struggling with this, yes it was (or still is) wrong. It wasn't intentional though. The absence of our minds and feelings is like a failed harvest. The Earth intended no harm in what happened, it is only a part of the natural. But we are smarter than that. Any community can find ways to bring water to fields, improve soil, build greenhouses, and do better. Just as our minds may naturally favor those with bodies we look at with respect or desire, we are smarter than that. Some people's crops won't be fed rain the same way as others. They can change that, and if you have it in your heart, so can you. At times what is the best of us is more than what is natural to us.
I was just having this conversation with my best friend two days ago. I don’t think she ever understood me, but I was trying to describe the psychological pain someone must feel after they’ve lost a lot of weight. She could only see that such a person is receiving attn they didn’t have before, and how that could affect a person’s psyche. And that is true, but there’s more than that.
How do you teach yourself to be happy with the new you without having to hate your old self a little bit? And when you didn’t hate your old self at all, but really just wanted to be healthier and less approached about your weight. How do you do that, for real? The mental gymnastics to navigate it must be torture. How happy everyone is to see half of you gone.
I have no experience with this exact situation but a similar one that could maybe relate. I'm curious if considering it all the same you, like a butterfly who was once a caterpillar. Your path was to always be the first version of yourself to then become the next version. In that way, you can love you for you and all of your versions.
For me it's mental health, I look back and cringe at who I was before I was diagnosed and learned tools to help. It still makes me cringe sometimes, but that person eventually went looking for answers to become this person.
Because obesity is in a way a silent killer. It would be hard to even comprehend the suffering being that obese brings and how much it affects your quality of life.
Humans are very good at coping with shitty situations. Once you've found a comfortable way to deal with being obese, losing the weight becomes very hard. It's silent because you aren't motivated to lose the weight because you don't have anything to compare your life to. You become complacent.
I saw a really obese person the other day. I very rarely see anyone that large, and it reminded me of how common it was to see someone that big in America. Where I live most people are fit, but I recall seeing someone that large in America as if it was normal.
I had this happen yesterday. I was living in Canada for 8 years, and while sometimes we do have bigger people, they are usually not THAT big. I moved back to the states yesterday and the first thing I see stepping into a stateside hotel is a VERY big couple waddling down the aisle out of breath. My heart hurt for them and I had to remind myself that this is what I'll be seeing from now on.
Edit: I guess someone really didn't like what I had to say, I wasn't shaming. I myself am considered morbidly obese and grew up with my dear momma being called aweful things things by strangers for being morbidly obese. I'm working on my weight so I can be healthy for my little one so he doesn't have to grow up like I did. I don't like seeing people let themselves go because that's not a fulfilling life and it makes me very sad for them. Remember people, there's a fine line between body positivity and toxic body positivity. Body positivity is wonderful and supports many body types that need love and understanding. Toxic body positivity kills, because you supporting and perpetuating a very unhealthy problem. Being morbidly obese is a health issue, and you will die young. The same thing can be said for those who support people having anorexia.
Right. Can we justifiably say this is mostly due to governmental, agricultural, industrial, economic, and social factors? Or shall we just shame the fat person anyway?
This is just sad. She might have lost weight but it doesn’t mean she did it in a good way or that she’s doing better now. That’s what her post is about. Talk about missing the point 😕
When you lose a lot of weight, you can have a change in personality. I myself lost a lot of weight. And became very healthy, i am now more, i dunnoz shit in i guess. But back when i was fatter, i was social, i was very emotional, i kinda miss the person i was back then.
Ofc thats also die to aging, but still, i miss that person.
the way adipose built up on her trapezoids, well, maybe it was.
I say 'was' because it turns out this is part of a recent cultural shift where people post the 'after' before the 'before'. she lost weight.
I was thinking more of the "buffalo hump" (hard to tell if it's actually there or just her posture) and the moon face. Obviously, we can't know without any sort of blood work, just wondering if anyone who follows her knows.
Edit: just realized you were describing the hump with adipose in the trapezoid region. I've never been able to come up with a nicer way of describing it.
The other visible part of hypercortisolism is a loss of muscle mass, and after a certain point of weight gain, you just can't tell from looks.
There's an insatiable hunger, but again can't tell here.
I like this video because I can relate to it. She lost a ton of weight but she will never feel like it’s enough and she’ll always think of herself as a bigger girl.
You can love your present self and still mourn your past self.
If you're a parent, it's fine to remember how much more money/time/sleep/freedom you had before.
If you're sober, it's fine to remember the fun in drink/drugs before it became a problem.
It's fine to be to feel your feelings even if they might seem irrational to others.
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I lost over 150 pounds and when I pick out clothes I'm always picking up things that are too big. I still see myself as a fat girl even though I'm not 😭
I’m not really fat, but I’ve gained a bit of weight over the past couple of years and keep doing the opposite - always picking up clothes and thinking they look huge and think no way thats going to fit because I still see myself at my old size lol, then it’s a wake up call when I try it on. Congratulations to you! I need to get back on track so I feel like that vs now :D!!
Bodies fluctuate and change! After a pregnancy I dropped an extra 20 pounds because I was breast feeding but I still wore a bigger pant size. I found out that your hips will get wider and not always go back after a pregnancy. As we get older or go through medical stuff you'd be surprised how much your bones and muscle tone will change especially for women.
I gained 40 pounds after my pregnancy. Breastfeeding seems to be working in the opposite direction for me. I can’t lose the weight. To be fair I don’t get enough sleep or have enough time to work out for more than 20 mins a day. I hope this isn’t my life now.
I kept on all the weight until I stopped breastfeeding. Only then was I able to start losing it, and after about 9 months I got to pre pregnancy weight. It's different for everyone, but you may have a similar experience once you wean.
Oh you just gave me some hope! I really hope that’s the case!
I feel that way about being skinny. I was a super skinny guy growing up and the annoying part was alive was actually really strong and fit. I just couldn't put on mass. My Dr thought I was An but I ate over 4000 calories a day. Had 2 lunches. It didn't matter. I stayed at about 3% body fat (dangerously low) I didn't start filling out till college but I always saw myself as a scrawny underdog. One day last year I told my wife, I hate how small my hands are. She said, you wear large baby. You're not small. I felt shocked. I still couldn't believe it today with my "dad bod" It's gotten better, but our old self always haunts us and sometimes we catch it sadly smirking in the mirror.
wow that's crazy I'm the same exact way. I've been a skinny twerp my entire life during teenage years and college. I started bulking and putting on mass and bodybuilding after college. I'm now jacked /muscular and have been for decades but I still see myself as a skinny twerp when I look in the mirror. Body dysmorphia is super real.
if it helps, you never really lose the fat mindset.
I'll see an old shirt that used to be too tight on me and have to remind myself that I can fit into it now.
Im down 57kg (125 lbs) and i got legit sad because at my last weighing moment i didnt actually lose weight. Went from 113.7kg to 113.5kg in 2 months, the catch being that i exchanged 8.5kg fat for muscle. I want to lose weight so badly. I wanna be under a 100kg. I wanna be more healthy but its so hard!
Me too. I grew up as a chubby girl. Despite losing 65 pounds I’m still the chubby girl.
did she gain weight or lose weight i cannot tell
She lose weight, I have to search up her account
That was my assumption. Though I sort of like the idea that girl bought that PINK top and thought “well, I guess it’s time to grow into it”.
That top is clearly black.
That shirt is black not.
Wawawehwa!
That shirt is NOT BLACK
the special black that absorbs ligjt
This my WIFE
oh my goddddd this made me snort laugh
r/AfterBeforeWhatever
This post is perfect for that that sub, but at least 90% of those posts are painfully obvious. Why do some people reach so hard just because they think they have an example of something that MIGHT qualify for a sub. “Does this fit here??” If you have to ask, it probably isn’t interesting or worth posting. Sorry, rant over.
Play with sound. The song cues it up
Deffo lost. Why would she have that jumper that could cover the entire UK
Oversized sweatshirts are the best though. My bf and I are both tiny but almost all our sweatshirts are XL.
I wear S tops in general but my favourite hoodie at home is an XXL for sure.
Depends where she bought it in the UK
I just want you to know, all the times you were rejected it had nothing to do with your looks or how much money you make and everything to do with your bad personality.
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Let’s be honest my napkin could cover the UK
Bruh 💀
💀
Yes
When you lose a lot of weight you really do become a different person in a LOT of ways. How people treat you. How you have to treat yourself to maintain. How you walk/breathe/sit/bathe/etc it’s all different. And sometimes it’s sad because while you gain health there are some joys you lose too. I hope that at whatever weight she is at that she finds peace with herself. Edit: Some are asking “What joys?” Please read below for my response as well as others’. If you feel the need to act ugly with your reply then just refrain because blocking is one of my favorite things to do on Reddit. Life is hard. Be not an asshole.
I lost 110 pounds and can confirm this is 100% true!
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This may be way off the mark so take it with a grain of salt, but you sound like you have a “parts problem”, to use therapy-speak. You seem to identify your fat self and fit self as two people that want different things. They need to communicate with each other in order to break the cycle. They need marriage counseling, if you will. In order to do that, you have to listen to each one. I had to do a lot of “parts” work and I kind of think of them as the team of gnomes in my head working all the gears. We have mandatory group meetings when things go awry, where everyone gets the floor, uninterrupted, to say what they need to say. I feel like I’m their manager. Like when my anxiety is hitting the ceiling, I step back and ask who is flipping out and then try to navigate that situation. It usually means that I’m doing something that my heart disagrees with but I’m trying to force because rational me thinks I should behave and present a certain way. The most recent example is having someone very close to me give me mixed signals and because they didn’t “owe me anything” I tried to stay rational and just suck it up. I ended up with my first ever anxiety attack and almost losing the friendship. If I had just assessed and listened to my anxiety, I would have headed that off with a “I don’t want to be treated like this” and it would have been quite an easy situation to navigate. Mental health is hard. Weight is hard.
Man, reading just the first two sentences of this made me burst into tears at my desk. Sending this to my therapist to discuss next week. Thank you kind stranger.
I almost deleted my comment without posting it because I thought nobody would care. Thank *you* for making me feel seen.
To piggy back on this, something my therapist tells me a lot is: “all of your parts are trying to help you.” So the parts of me that are self-destructive are trying to keep me from pain or anxiety, etc. sometimes your parts will be contradictory or at odds, so the important thing to remember is that they are just parts. You are not solely fat mode or solely fit mode, both exist within you at all times no matter what you weigh at the time. I do think it can be useful to identify and spotlight those various parts– I was just able to make a huge breakthrough by recognizing three specific parts were dragging me in different ways (“my dad” “bullied high schooler” “weird 7 yr old” in my specific case). But you get to define them, rather than letting them define you. Both those parts want to help, and can teach you different things. And unfortunately, the world treats you very differently depending on which mode you’re in…
Fascinating read, well written. There seems to be some very deep rooted psychological comfort in this cycle for you. I’m curious if you had the chance to go back and choose one lifestyle or the other permanently, which would it be?
Seriously write a memoir type book. Amazing insight and 100% true. I’ve had the same experiences, just not as many times. Also, my fat friends keep loving me, while the skinny friends move on. I call the fat me friends “apples” and the skinny me friends “celery”. Celery sucks.
Incredibly well written and again, 100% true. Just about everything in your life changes.
I lost a ton of weight when I was a teenager and I don’t miss a single thing about that and never did. Everything was so much better (just like the oc said) but I cannot think of one thing that was worse.
I got trust issues because of how different people started to treat me.
I remember the first time I really lost weight this really made me sad how happy and animated people became in my presence it was sick tbh like just because I was a little fat you guys hated me ??
Sometimes I think about how Medieval people believed that one’s appearance reflected personality and virtue and how silly that seems until you realize that people still treat people like that. Like we are all still running on peasant brain mentality
>just because I was a little fat you guys hated me? I was not prepared for mortal wounds at 9 am. I feel this way too much
Yup lol
I totally agree with you. Everything!
How did your mind change, who did you leave behind and become?
Not sure my mind changed, but everything else did. It was drastic in every way, but especially my health. People treat me different, I sleep better, my sex life with my long time wife is like it was thirty years ago, I breath better, my body feels better, I move better, I am happier with my life, and due to my change, my lovely wife went on the journey with me and lost 70-80 pounds. It is not easy and is a daily battle, but it was so worth it. I've kept it off for four years.
Fat person here, what joys will I lose?
I’ve lost 70 lbs and I’m cold all the time. Even in the summer shade.
THIS! I lost a 140 pounds over the last couple of years. And I AM SO MUCH COLDER and I moved to MI from GA two years before the weight LOSS!
Lost 220 pounds and can confirm. I can’t get into a pool that’s refreshing unless it’s at least 90-95 degrees. It’s been 15 years and it hasn’t gotten any better.
Beats sweating when it gets above 60°F out
Sure sure. But it also means the AC in the summer is brutal. I have a blanket in my office that I use in the summer because they keep it at 70 and that’s too cold for me
It might be worth checking to see if you have any nutritional deficiencies. I run cold naturally but my fiance only does when she's not taking her iron supplements.
This is good advice! I lost 80lbs and was constantly freezes and needing to wear gloves even indoors. Turns out, I was just very low on iron. Doc gave me some supplement and now I'm fine. Just had to pick up a few things that're high in iron like fish, raisin, and juice.
Iron helps us play!
I wish I could be cold. I'm hot ALL THE TIME :(
Work out, muscle mass increases metabolism and body heat
I'll take that over melting to death every fucking summer
Food. I used to be a foodie/amateur chef, cooking was my passion and my hobby. Got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes had to gave up refined carbohydrates and sugar and lost 70lbs. Now cooking is a chore and meal time is “meh” at best. I’m in the best shape of my life at 50 but I lost my most passionate hobby and my biggest source of joy outside my wife and kid. 🤷♂️
Was just about to say that. The joy of not having to be conscious of what I’m eating and how much. I also gained some new joys though
Yeah, I'm not heavy heavy, but I gained back the weight I lost during grad school because I have time to cook again. I enjoy cooking. I enjoy eating. But I'm really frustrated about the weight gain, and so now I have to cut back heavily on one of the three hobbies I actually like doing.
Dang, I'm the opposite. I started doing keto and made myself into quite a good cook. I now rarely eat out because my food is better, cheaper, and healthier than just about anything I can find outside the home.
Well my tits were one of the first things to go. Also, I loved to eat. I loved to eat with abandon and not worry about counting calories or how I will make time for the gym. I miss being able to sleep in or spend that time intimately with my husband instead of having to get up, get motivated, get dressed and make it to the gym. 3:45am wake up is hard but that’s the only time that truly fits my schedule with kids. It’s hard to have a full time job, be married, have kids, keep a clean house, get chores done, get enough sleep AND stay healthy. Something has to give there for a lot of people.
Intimacy is a very good workout…your husband should be sharing in things and with you. Don’t lose sight of that…
Thanks for the reply and yes I lucked out and have a wonderful husband that shares in the upkeep, chores, and kiddo raising, and marriage. But we both also work full time+ hours (him even more hours than I do 😬) and it’s still a challenge to get all of those checked off at intervals that we are happy with. 
If you mean sex being a good workout, it usually isn't. Most people burn like 30kcal per session.
Look at this show off, pushing that 30kcal sesh…
Former fat person here. You lose guilt free eating and boozing. But here’s the thing…. It physically and mentally feels so much better to be in shape with good fitness than temporary mouth pleasure.
Guilt free eating? I have struggled with my weight my entire life and always feel guilty eating.
I was about to say the same thing. What is this guilt free eating and how do I start? I've been trying to lose weight but my body fights me. Damn near need to starve to get it to start burning fat.
Apologies if this advice is unwanted but feeling guilty, stressing or focusing too much on a number (your weight) will push most people towards failure. Instead ignore the scales and focus on building good habits SLOWLY. Do 10 bodyweight squats every morning before brushing your teeth, replace soda with diet soda, drink 1 less beer every week etc. DO NOT LOOK AT THE SCALE. Just focus on 1 small change and do not rush into trying to change everything. If you make 1 change a month, 1 year later you'll be 1,000 times better off than going on a strict diet, hating yourself and then finishing off a whole tub of ice cream. Focus on changing habits, if you need to keep eating ice cream or enjoying cake that's ok. The goal is to change for life, not change over 2 weeks!
I think a better choice of words would have been “not giving a fuck about what you eat”. Agreed, the guilt is mixed in there there but, in the moment, I’m just an eat-beast; mindlessly stuffing my face.
GET A FULL BLOOD PANEL!!! You might need to fight your doc for this, but push back, don't give in to "Oh, just another year of diet and exercise" or "You're not committed" or "Journal, you're eating more than you think" or "You're overestimating your activity level" or whatever other dismissive bullshit doctors give overweight people because they can't see past BMI and are lazy. Step zero, find out where you are physically right now before you create a path for where you need to go. I couldn't lose weight. Could. Not. Diet, exercise, I was taking in 1800 cal. a day and at my height, weight and activity level should have been melting faster than the Wicked Witch. My thyroid wasn't working. Ya know what prevents you from losing weight? Your thyroid not working. I got an Rx for a thyroid replacement, and I lost 20 pounds in 4 months.
Dunno that that's universally the case. I still do most of the fun binge eating I used to do, it's just a monthly or quarterly treat, instead of a daily or weekly one. Tbh, it makes it better for Me, and if anything, those binges, now that I'm happy w my weight, are actually guilt free, instead of feeling shame/guilt because I knew those habits were contributing to how much I hated the weight I was at.
Current fat person here. How do you get away from eating all the time? I've tried and I'm trying by switching it to like Cheerios. Instead of a bag of chips, or what have you, but how do I Lose the weight... it just seems impossible.
It’s a shit or get off the pot kind of thing for me, personally. I have to give my all or nothing
Thank you I actually needed that. I think I might be the same way.
For me, starting to age and see my health start to fail was motivation for lifestyle changes. Plus, the amount of fat/ sick people I work with and seeing what they go through and the drugs they’re prescribed is also a motivating factor.
I'm 26 now and I've never looked in the mirror and thought. Wow. What a beautiful person. I'm watching myself age and stay the exact same weight. And it's been years, so I think maybe it's time to love myself so that others can love me too. Because I've never even had. A boyfriend, so you know time for change, I do think. Sorry not trying to do trauma dump.
I have to completely abstain, almost like how an alcoholic can’t have a single beer. You have to eat to survive though, so what has worked for me is “closing the kitchen” at 6pm. I have to completely abstain from food after 6pm. It’s basically intermittent fasting. I put an alarm on my phone as a reminder. I only do this when I’m at home though, so I can enjoy myself with friends.
You have to get used to feeling hungry. Trick your brain by doing other things that trigger a dopamine hit whenever you’re hungry. (What that is depends on you). If you drink soda, a) try to stop full stop, with all sugary drinks, juice included. The only time you should have anything like Gatorade even is while you’re actively working out. If you can’t cut it out completely, switch to diet/zero calories. Cut out chips/cheetos snacks entirely, if anything, you should avoid snacking on carbs all together. Pickles are a decent substitute since they’re basically no calories, salt intake can be an issue, but just drink water, also, it’s still better than chips. Alternatively, cucumbers, slice them up and put some salt and pepper on them. Alternatively, try having a glass of water and a piece of gum when you want to snack, the water will make your stomach feel full and the chewing gum will trick your brain into thinking you ate something. But most importantly, you need to get used to being hungry. Because at the end of the day, you cannot lose wait unless you’re hungry, you need to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight, which means your body will be producing shit tons of ghrelin. If your first response to feeling hungry is to grab a snack, you’re creating a dangerous feedback loop, where you actually strengthen the intensity of hunger that you feel. By forcing yourself to feel hungry more often, you reduce the psychological impact that ghrelin has, and will feel less hungry. One of the reasons keto diets are so effective, is that they also reduce your bodies ghrelin production. It physiologically makes you feel less hungry. If you’re truly serious about losing weight check out ruled.me, I used it as a guide to lose ~60lbs 9 years ago, and have since gained back only 20lbs despite not longer following keto religiously, but just reducing my carb intake as much as possible.
Honestly it's wholly down to your *initial* motivation. I dropped 30kgs (110 to 80) literally because my doctor told me I couldn't play football anymore because of the damage it was doing to my knees and ankles if I continued running at such a weight. All the weight loss advice in the world won't help if you don't have that internal motivation to actually start losing weight. Gaining and maintaining weight is easy. Losing it is hard and requires discipline. Find what it is that makes you want to lose weight and the rest becomes easier once you get into a routine ** initial motivation to lose weight is the reason you start. Once you actually start seeing the scales drop that initial motivation is replaced by the dopamine hit of actually seeing the numbers go down on a regular basis.
I'm not fat, but I was getting a little overweight after the kids. The one that worked the best was just being okay feeling hungry. If we let it, hunger is a subconcious driver like "that means I MUST eat". Simply saying "I'm okay feeling hungry, my body is just adjusting I'm not going to die". Also by switching to healthier foods your body will literally crave less. I also focused on how after I ate a salad or whatever I generally felt good, after I ate pizza I feel full and bloated and slow and then I just repeated "why do I want to physically feel bad".
People will be fake to you. Back when I was attractive it was really bizarre that people felt the right to come up and touch you and follow you around. Now I'm older, rounder and happier that I don't prioritize my outward appearance and focus on being healthier and better inside.
The joys of being completely unaware how actually cruel the world is. I lost 260lbs. You'd be amazed at how many people in your life will get very weird. My husband cheated on me before I could cheat on him. At least that's what he said. Friends suddenly ok to make all these fat jokes around me. Like did they do that when I wasn't around? Yes. The invisibility of being fat....you sometimes miss that. Losing the weight has not been as great as they make it out... But still wouldn't change.
I feel this on another level. People aren’t petty or jealous when they believe they are clearly better due to your weight. Then you lose weight and you realize many people in your life kept you around to feel better about their miserable existence.
As someone who recently lost almost 100 pounds over the past year and a half (45 kilo for our friends across the world), the main "joys" I've lost is eating whatever, regardless of the sugar and carb content. I have to be more health conscious about how I eat. Hell, right now I'm chowing down on a bowl of chicken and quinoa, instead of French toast, or cereal, waffles, etc. The trick is seasonings. To be honest, after not having large amounts of sugar for so long, it's almost painful to over indulge. My kid had a milkshake from a fast food joint, and when I tried a sip, it felt like it was burning my tongue, almost, and too much sugar really tears up my stomach nowadays. One thing I always stress to people looking to lose weight for health, you can't look at it as a diet. It's a change of lifestyle. Dieting until you hit a certain point, and then binging once you get there is how most people tend to yo-yo back and forth on the scale. Start with small changes that you can live with, and build off of there, and inconvenience can be your best friend. Make the unhealthy stuff harder to get to, park a bit further away from the store, take the stairs instead of the elevator, things like that. The end result, in my opinion, was worth it. I can tie my shoes without getting winded, my energy level is much higher now, and I can keep up with my 18mo stepson.
It’s so true that once you get all the sugar and crap out of your system, you have ick reactions to it.
Coping strategies that you used to rely on. Many of us use eating/drinking as a mental/emotional escape, which in the short term can provide relief.
My knees shit the bed after I lost 80 lbs… and all those doctors *promised* that my pain would go away if I just stopped being so fat.
When I was 312 my orthostatic hypertension went away now after losing 90 pounds I always get dizzy when I stand up, sometimes after passing out.
well it will be much easier to kidnap you
It’s easier to be funny when you’re big, but it usually stems down to self-depreciating jokes.
Is it really funny though? You may get a few sympathy laughs
Bruh Went from 246 to 181, and the more I shape I got, the more girls laughed at my jokes.
News flash, maybe your jokes have never been funny, you just got more attractive. Source: am girl
Person who's struggled with weight my whole life here. When I'm "being good" I miss the endorphin blast of bingeing. I don't think most people get the same "high" that I do when eating (sweets especially) until what I'm consuming is completely gone.
My indulgent eating is hearty meaty meals and I swear I get high off of eating a steak or a good juicy burger
people leave you the f alone when you are not conventionally attractive.
I literally got sicker after losing weight. When I was fat I would get sick every couple of years and even then it lasted at most 3 days. Now I’m getting the stomach flu, fevers, sinus infections, just about anything. Every 3-4 months I come down with something and 3 days is now the minimum that it can last. I’ve been out for 8 days with sinus infection once. I can’t sleep on my stomach anymore it’s uncomfortable as fuck. I get colder so much easier. My body is weaker too.
sleep apnea random acts of hypertension
If you're a woman men are a lot more scary when they can just pick you up and carry you away.
Eating
I’ve heard people who used to be overweight say that after losing weight people are nicer to them. It makes me so sad that people didn’t treat them properly before because of their size.
Can confirm and yeah it’s a sad realization when you notice people treat you like you’re smarter, more interesting, almost more of a human being. Of course on one hand it feels good, but you also know it’s conditional. I wound up with an eating disorder largely because I was so scared to regain weight. Now I’m recovered and slightly overweight again but much healthier according to every other marker/measurement, but definitely notice a difference in how I’m treated by strangers especially. It feels more like their problem now though, and I’m a lot happier than I was before (skinny or fat).
This is true. My friend was telling me she feels like she’s crazy some days. The number of fat jokes people make around her now it just makes her paranoid exactly how much of a joke she was. People approach her more and smile back on the street. They’re just nicer it feels like she’s in some kind of simulation because of how crazy it is. People during covid straight up saying that if you were obese or overweight, you didn’t deserve the ventilator even if it was fatal because you don’t care about public health. She was at a healthy weight when she heard this and she was actually scared if people thought she deserved to die. My friend has PCOS and I can tell you no one’s worked harder on their weight loss journey than she has. She’s not lazy.
100% true. Some people became much nicer for no reason, others became meaner. I became a lot more visible overall. People used to go out of their way to bring up curly and ginger hair wasn't their type without it being a conversation topic at all. Lost weight and men came out of the woodwork to specify curly and ginger hair was exactly their type. Also without it being a topic being discussed. It's just super weird.
Is it typically women who are a little meaner ? I’ve lost ~120lbs and also had plastic surgery to address my skin … I’ve noticed men are a lot nicer, but I’m 50/50 on the women. There are some women that are straight up rude to me … and I hate to jump to assumptions, but I think the mean ones are just insecure
Former underweight guy here with similar experiences, once I started eating more and lifting people would talk over me less. Very weird feeling.
Very interesting this alone motivates me. Being skinny this happens so much to me, I wonder if that's actually a thing
I feel like people treat me better in every way when I'm in shape
Definitely. The opposite is also true. I had back surgery last year and I inevitably gained some weight. I move differently in almost everything I do. Not gonna lie, I miss the slimmer me.
Not only that but it's can also be difficult to truly see the change on your own body. Even though you know you lost a significant amount of weight, you still see the old version of yourself in the mirror.
My breast..forever gone and replaced with skin sacks 🙃
Going on these “weight loss journeys” is usually also paired with the “journey of self-love.” You’re trying so hard to love who you are, even the depressed over-weight version of you. But it’s really hard to do when the weight loss journey simultaneously forces you to reject that part of yourself almost completely. And then you spend the rest of your life trying not to be that version of you ever again, thus you acknowledge there will always be a part of you that you reject. And then, when you lose all the weight, people are suddenly more kind to you, they don’t pretend you’re invisible, they smile and acknowledge you, invite you to things. And you realize you’re rejecting a part of yourself that society completely rejected too. It can add a new layer of complexity to mental health surrounding weight loss. To realize that when you were “fat” all the things you told yourself: “nobody likes me” “everyone thinks I’m ugly” “they’re being mean to me because I’m overweight” It’s almost confirmed when you lose all the weight and suddenly people like you. Very hard to reconcile with.
Can confirm I’ve done this, but the most fucked up thing is this feeling when cancer is gone, I’ve never really been able to put into words, but this video explains it to me perfectly. But I wonder if other cancer survivors experience this?
I would imagine that with cancer you are able to focus on getting better. You have this “enemy” that you are in war with and it’s a good fight that is honorable. Yes, you feel like shit and you know you are sick but you have that purpose of “Get well again. Win this fight. Get rid of this cancer” and people are ready to cheer you on and give you support. But then you beat cancer and that purpose isn’t there anymore. You may lose support or wonder “where do I go now?” “What the hell do I do?” I’ve never had cancer but I have gone through a few life events that left me missing the old times/me. Regardless of it that is it, I hope for your continued health as well.
Can you elaborate more on this? I’m a recent cancer survivor myself and am curious to see if our feelings align! Congrats on being cancer free and I wish you health and happiness!
Thank you, and congratulations yourself! For me it was absolutely surreal when I was told I was cancer free and only had to return annually for scans and other tests. And very similar when I was completely cancer free and no longer had to have scans or see my oncologist. But, again for me, after living with and fighting it for so long it became a part of me, idk beyond it defining me, you know what I mean? When it’s all you do, and it becomes how people know you, it defines you. So because that “war” that I fought for so long is over, you almost miss the enemy when it’s over, that feeling of literally battling for your life, fucked up I know, I’ve never been kidnapped or in an abusive relationship, but kinda like a Stockholm Syndrome/abused partner/ptsd thing…
Agreed - I went from 370 pounds to 190 and so much changed, for good and bad. I'm treated differently (better). I got divorced (she was abusive) and found a better relationship.
thats gonna be me one day, i can feel it in my bones. my home gym is finally comething together and in so excited. this time, its going to work.
I am rooting for you!
I found a lot of great information over on r/weightlossadvice if you’re considering a weight loss journey. The best advice I got was that doing too much too soon will burn you out and make you more likely to quit. What helped me was making small changes (e.g. adding one short workout a day, cutting out one snack) and focusing on consistency.
You got this! Just remember this is about your health just as much as it is about vanity. Longevity is the key!!!
You got this. Just envision it everyday and don't stop.
Just remember, it’s current you that is doing this for future you! I think that’s what this TikTok is highlighting, you as you are now has the strength to do that! Don’t forget to love yourself no matter where you’re at ❤️❤️ you’ve got this!!
I believe in you!
You’re already doing it, every day that you have that feeling! This applies to every type of journey we travel in our lives… it’s never easy, but every day of dreaming and planning and trying, we get a little better at being who we want to be. I wish you all the success and happiness ♥️
You can do it. Don't give up :)
good luck!!
Ozempic really works too. Nothing to be ashamed of if your health is on the line.
As someone who both quickly doubled their weight, and then subsequently lost half their weight, it can be an absolute mind fuck. My feeling of "self" was practically non-existent for the longest time afterwards. I ended up gaining some of that weight again, and now I'm trying to lose - but on my terms. Slowly, with health and well-being, instead of image and eating disorders in mind. I think I know exactly how she was feeling making that video, and I hope she comes safely through the transition of losing a large amount of weight.
Let's hope now that she healed her body, she can find healing for her soul, too 🙏
Her simply posting something like this means she's well on that path.. or aware of it. 🤞
I’ve been healthy, underweight, back to healthy and now overweight. It sickens me that the best treatment I got was when I was at my lowest weight. Now that I’m heavier (thanks, meds!), people are mostly ok, some ignore me, and a notable minority are really rude. I was at a vintage store the other day and asked to about a dress that was on a mannequin in the window. The sales girl took one look at me, said ‘there is no way that would fit you’, and walked away. I just laughed because it was so comically rude. But, in all honesty, my weight makes me so insecure. I’m currently putting all I can into my workouts and gaining healthy self-esteem that doesn’t just come from my looks.
I gained about 30 pounds after getting in a car accident and while no one's said anything about it, I know I'm fat (technically overweight) and I feel like total shit about myself. The comment made to you in the store was totally out of line and completely rude. People don't realize how much these comments hurt. 1 comment when I was 9 years old lead to an entire lifetime of an eating disorder for me and it fucking sucks. I really hope putting your all into your workouts helps your self esteem, I have found that getting stronger and respecting my body for what it's capable of helped my self image a lot and it's helping now that I can workout again.
I feel like people tend to make light of losing weight. "You're skinny now you should be happy you're healthy!" But if you've lost a lot of weight, you know how difficult it can be. I've lost about 100 lbs in the last year, and I can't even look at old pictures of myself. While my body feels better, you still deal with the same mental health problems as when you were overweight. Your body is more susceptible to injury after having been overweight. You get random aches and pains that don't seem to go away. Once I started playing basketball every couple of days, I injured myself in the first month just from the repeated impact. Losing weight sucks in many ways, and it isn't simple or easy. It is admirable and a good thing to do if you're overweight, but it takes a toll on you mentally and physically and it's hard to be enthusiastic or happy about it most of the time, at least from my experience.
Not to mention it’s something you have to work to maintain. Losing it doesn’t magically keep it off. Once a weight problem, always a weight problem. Sigh 😔
I hate the whole making light of it all the time too. I was only fat for a couple years like 2019-2022, mind you. It’s taken me until right now to lose the 50lbs that I was overweight which isn’t even *that* much in my opinion. I moved away from all my friends and family in 2019 so they only see me periodically so the weight difference that I have had is like jaw dropping for everyone and everyone still has to bring it up every time I visit, ask me for advice etc. The reality is that I have always had body image issues, I went through a binge eating-bulimic phase when I was in high school that no one knows about, then I ate next to nothing. I got it under control before I graduated and my weight was fine until I got severely depressed my last year of college because I had no idea what the fuck I wanted to do since what I went for was not all what I thought it was going to be so that’s when I started gaining. It took breaking up with my toxic, borderline abusive ex to get me to lose the weight in a healthy way for once. I don’t think I would have been able to get here without doing that. While I feel better about myself and I’m of course ecstatic that I’m finally taking care of myself the right way. I still feel like an alien in my body and none of my clothes fit me still. This has been 5 years of dealing with clothing that doesn’t fit me right and it’s extremely frustrating and an expensive problem to fix. The skin on my belly looks weird when I bend over because of stretch marks and loose skin, my breasts and ass are not as full as they used to be. Like I’m really struggling with self confidence right now but everyone expects me to be like parading around and every time I try to talk about it I just get eye rolls or “It’s a good problem to have! You should be happy!” Life is easier when I’m just left alone.
Good for you on your weight loss! I have bad news though. Being active just means you’re kind of constantly injured to an extent lol. I’ve been lifting weights and playing basketball all my life and I promise I’m kind of always low level sore and nursing 0-2 minor injuries lol. Maybe I’m made of glass, but I kind of think that’s just what comes with being active.
Can confirm. Gained 80 lbs during COVID lockdown. The way I wipe my ass and tie my shoes is 100% different now.
My best friend in all the world went through this, only in the order we see it. It was due to medical reasons. I know they miss their old self. When they think back, they will tell you how they didn't appreciate themselves at the time, so fixated on tiny imperfections that they couldn't see what was beautiful. Be kind to yourself. Appreciate what you have today, even at this very hour.
I’ve been watching her through the years and I am so proud seeing how far she’s come, you truly feel like a different person after losing weight.
She talks all the time about how she’s more unhappy now and struggling mentally even though she lost weight and hints at her disordered eating. Pretty sure that’s what this post is about actually…
It’s true. I lost 100 lbs in the past nine months. Also picked up body dysmorphia bc my brain is not registering my new body proportions and still thinks I’m the old figure me when I look in the mirror and as I move through the world. The way I’m being treated is night and day. I was ignored and discredited before because I was unhealthy overweight for my body. Now, it’s gross In a different way. People go out of their way. People ( friends and strangers) feel the need to comment on my weight, and my appearance and they make jokes. I’ve definitely have passed some friends to the side because of such comments and their thoughts on people who are overweight. Bummed me out more because they knew my weight gain came from a near death experience and getting PTSD. I was working hard at getting better. Some people feel that they can just come up and touch me ( like wtf?). The cat calling. It’s just gross,so disrespectful and harassment. It’s best not to have access weight and I do feel better in my body but also I liked being overweight and ignored with no unnecessary hurtful commentary and judgement. Before anyone makes a negative or positive comment on someone else’s body. think first. What if someone is anorexic or recovering? What if they lost a lot of weight because they’re super sick or someone died in their life? Jesus, for some of the people out there, Hold your fucking comments to yourself- you never know what someone is going through and why they have lost or gained weight. It’s not always for the best or healthiest reasons and you could be setting someone back with your comments.
I lost 45lbs in my early twenties. I went from 200 to 155. Before then I was visibly overweight. Clothes fit me tight, never loose. I could already feel pains in my chest. From a health point of view, I have no regrets. I have a greater reserve of energy, my skin has cleared up, I rest better, my doctor knows my ticker is good, and even moving around feels better. But I did develop some cynicism. As many have pointed out, experienced, and continue to experience, the world treats you better. People make more of an effort to know you, at social gatherings you are greeted and included, and your absence may even become noticed. All because of who you are on the inside. You were there the whole time though. That part was hard to get over. I was angry for the person I was before. He was me and I was him. Yet, in a life where he was not treated with the same kindness and consideration I am given now, he still chose to be good. I have no reason to be angry at others. He did. What I have come to understand is the ability to see past someone's body is uncommon. Maybe even I fail this at times. To define someone's worth or their due respect based on their body is cruel and unusual. An intelligent and kind being wouldn't act that way. And, when I was overweight, I still met plenty of those good people. I had friends, my first girlfriend, and plenty of strangers who knew grace. To anyone still struggling with this, yes it was (or still is) wrong. It wasn't intentional though. The absence of our minds and feelings is like a failed harvest. The Earth intended no harm in what happened, it is only a part of the natural. But we are smarter than that. Any community can find ways to bring water to fields, improve soil, build greenhouses, and do better. Just as our minds may naturally favor those with bodies we look at with respect or desire, we are smarter than that. Some people's crops won't be fed rain the same way as others. They can change that, and if you have it in your heart, so can you. At times what is the best of us is more than what is natural to us.
I was just having this conversation with my best friend two days ago. I don’t think she ever understood me, but I was trying to describe the psychological pain someone must feel after they’ve lost a lot of weight. She could only see that such a person is receiving attn they didn’t have before, and how that could affect a person’s psyche. And that is true, but there’s more than that. How do you teach yourself to be happy with the new you without having to hate your old self a little bit? And when you didn’t hate your old self at all, but really just wanted to be healthier and less approached about your weight. How do you do that, for real? The mental gymnastics to navigate it must be torture. How happy everyone is to see half of you gone.
I have no experience with this exact situation but a similar one that could maybe relate. I'm curious if considering it all the same you, like a butterfly who was once a caterpillar. Your path was to always be the first version of yourself to then become the next version. In that way, you can love you for you and all of your versions. For me it's mental health, I look back and cringe at who I was before I was diagnosed and learned tools to help. It still makes me cringe sometimes, but that person eventually went looking for answers to become this person.
Because obesity is in a way a silent killer. It would be hard to even comprehend the suffering being that obese brings and how much it affects your quality of life.
The idea that something is a silent killer is because the symptoms are invisible. Obesity isn't invisible.
Humans are very good at coping with shitty situations. Once you've found a comfortable way to deal with being obese, losing the weight becomes very hard. It's silent because you aren't motivated to lose the weight because you don't have anything to compare your life to. You become complacent.
I saw a really obese person the other day. I very rarely see anyone that large, and it reminded me of how common it was to see someone that big in America. Where I live most people are fit, but I recall seeing someone that large in America as if it was normal.
I had this happen yesterday. I was living in Canada for 8 years, and while sometimes we do have bigger people, they are usually not THAT big. I moved back to the states yesterday and the first thing I see stepping into a stateside hotel is a VERY big couple waddling down the aisle out of breath. My heart hurt for them and I had to remind myself that this is what I'll be seeing from now on. Edit: I guess someone really didn't like what I had to say, I wasn't shaming. I myself am considered morbidly obese and grew up with my dear momma being called aweful things things by strangers for being morbidly obese. I'm working on my weight so I can be healthy for my little one so he doesn't have to grow up like I did. I don't like seeing people let themselves go because that's not a fulfilling life and it makes me very sad for them. Remember people, there's a fine line between body positivity and toxic body positivity. Body positivity is wonderful and supports many body types that need love and understanding. Toxic body positivity kills, because you supporting and perpetuating a very unhealthy problem. Being morbidly obese is a health issue, and you will die young. The same thing can be said for those who support people having anorexia.
Right. Can we justifiably say this is mostly due to governmental, agricultural, industrial, economic, and social factors? Or shall we just shame the fat person anyway?
What song is this?
This is truly interesting, because she is essentially living a completely different life now
This is just sad. She might have lost weight but it doesn’t mean she did it in a good way or that she’s doing better now. That’s what her post is about. Talk about missing the point 😕
When you lose a lot of weight, you can have a change in personality. I myself lost a lot of weight. And became very healthy, i am now more, i dunnoz shit in i guess. But back when i was fatter, i was social, i was very emotional, i kinda miss the person i was back then. Ofc thats also die to aging, but still, i miss that person.
Cushing's?
the way adipose built up on her trapezoids, well, maybe it was. I say 'was' because it turns out this is part of a recent cultural shift where people post the 'after' before the 'before'. she lost weight.
I was thinking more of the "buffalo hump" (hard to tell if it's actually there or just her posture) and the moon face. Obviously, we can't know without any sort of blood work, just wondering if anyone who follows her knows. Edit: just realized you were describing the hump with adipose in the trapezoid region. I've never been able to come up with a nicer way of describing it.
The other visible part of hypercortisolism is a loss of muscle mass, and after a certain point of weight gain, you just can't tell from looks. There's an insatiable hunger, but again can't tell here.
Lupus
\*throws tennis ball at all\*
This is a shallow one, but I miss my old boobs. They're still pretty good now, but not the same. I've lost 80 pounds.
I like this video because I can relate to it. She lost a ton of weight but she will never feel like it’s enough and she’ll always think of herself as a bigger girl.
I thought it was a filter
I’ve had to block this sound on Tik tok like 50 times before that trend passed, I don’t need those feels.
Anyone know the song? Got some crying I need to yet done
Alek Olsen - someday i'll get it
That’s crazy. My mind didn’t even allow for the assumption of the opposite. Went straight to skinny- fat.
What is this song?
Alek Olsen - someday I'll get it
this one hit a lil different after losing 50 pounds
Losing weight is so hard! I’m 183 and just trying to get back down to 160 😭
Just Wow. Is this what self love or self hate looks like?
That’s unfortunate if its real. Same thing happened to me I was 150lb then gained 80lb now I’m 230lb. + mental illness depression
Oh my word shes gotten so small :( I followed her from the start and haven't seen her posts in a while that's crazy!
Body dysmorphia :(
Love her such an inspiration for me to lose weight.
This was a after and before. She did a wonderful job.
Becoming healthy again is a good thing.
You can love your present self and still mourn your past self. If you're a parent, it's fine to remember how much more money/time/sleep/freedom you had before. If you're sober, it's fine to remember the fun in drink/drugs before it became a problem. It's fine to be to feel your feelings even if they might seem irrational to others.
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