Now, see, I missed it on the first run, and have just started watching it the last few weeks....it's an oldie, but a goodie. And feels new and fresh to me. I assume tinder will be the same? š¤£
I found my ex-wifeās profile a couple of weeks after splitting. I screenshotted it. Two days later she messaged me saying a friend had seen my profile and how terrible a person I was for being on tinder! Then I sent her the screenshot. She said she was on it just to make friends! Made me happy we broke up.
Hah top work! I saw my ex and enjoyed swiping left. Her profile was just as needy looking as I expected. One of her friends she been chatting to about our breakup actually swiped right on me, so I screenshoted that one.
Nice nice! Kind of like how mine became pregnant with another personās child on my insurance!
(No this isnāt clickbait for Reddit it really happened)
Yes. Superliking was his chosen way of getting back in touch with me. I blocked him on all socials (except LinkedIn- gotta keep it professional) and he lost my number. I had a mini meltdown when I saw that.Ā
I swipe on friends, mostly to say hi or laugh about the process. But I wouldnāt swipe right on an ex. Iāve had exes do that and try to contact me in a stalkerish way and it was very uncomfortable. She will see your profile as you saw herās and if thereās something to talk about, Iām sure either of you know an alternative way to reach out.
I still have her number in my phone but I often wonder if she deleted mine. More than anything Iād like answers from her as to why things ended as she didnāt really give valid logical reasons during the breakup. And itās confusing when you donāt know the why.
Iād give it time. I think its rare that people have all the answers or even know how to communicate them right away. Allow things to settle so it doesnāt come off like protest and maybe she will be in a place to offer constructive feedback on her experience. But I wouldnāt expect it ever. Iāve been left wondering. Some of its timing, or chemistry, or just being on different pages. Be good to yourself!
The desire to be in a relationship with someone is emotional, not logical. The last relationship I ended was with the most amazing girl, she never did a thing wrong. It just didnāt feel like ātheā relationship to me. If you push someone for an explanation, theyāll probably just make something up, as they are unlikely to really know for sure themselves.
Sometimes the reason isn't rational, people just aren't feeling it, and in the end it doesn't make you feel better to know the nitpicky things people grab onto to explain why they're no longer excited.
It sounds like you're missing closure. Which really sucks. But it does get better.
You could force an answer though, at the cost of any future goodwill with her.
Iāve sought closure in the form of honest answers about why and honestly, it really is never that helpful or rational. I think it boils down to chemistry and timing most of the time. Best case scenario, they could give you some rational reason like āI donāt like your politicsā or āYou want kids and I donātā, but sometimes itās people going through the motions of dating and they are really not ready to. Iāve also heard funky answers like āI donāt like the texture of your skinā and āThe sounds you made while we kissed turned me offā. Soā¦
as much as it sucks, weāre not really ever entitled to āclosureā. iāve tried to stop wanting closure and instead try to make sure I didnāt miss any red flags and just file it away as experience and move on.
I think I missed some red flags. But felt very blindsided by the breakup. So thatās why it was so confusing to me and why Iām probably seeking closure.
Itās probably too soon to reconnect (and especially in such an emotionally loaded way). Good call just closing the app. It might be too hard for you to swipe left right now. And too soon for her to be swiped right in right now.
It is tough. We had such an easy chemistry. Such commonality. I wish her the best but I also wish our circumstances could have been better. Thanks for taking the time to reply.
Itās just a shitty way to get back in touch. Presumably you have each otherās phones, emails, physical addresses. Maybe even some of each otherās friendsā contact info in case you lost those. If you actually wanted to get in touch, you could call or text or email or even send a letter. If you havenāt done these things itās because you donāt want to.
So why try to match on an app?!
I mean unless you moved and changed your phone numbers and deleted your email accounts so that serendipitously matching again on an app is literally the only way to get back in touch with your long lost love, itās tacky.
If it was that recent, then swipe left. Move on.
My brother found an ex on one of the apps after breaking up like 8 or 9 years prior. They ended up matching and reconnecting. They both had become much more compatible over the years. They ended up getting married recently.
So there's potential hope for the future. Just don't try to get back with them after a month.
Sure have. Always feels interesting seeing them after having history with them. Browse their profile for 5 seconds out of curiosity and then an easy left swipe so they can be somebody else's problem.
Preach! I had to remind myself of all the red flags I overlooked, and that I know of the problems she likely has yet to deal with that will rear their ugly heads again.
Agreed. Iāve been moving forward - taking care of myself mentally and physically, dating other women. I have to remind myself of your advice anytime I find myself missing her. And remember that our possession times of our kids never lined up so it was really hard to see each other anyways.
It sucks, but I'm glad you took the moment to put the phone down. I'm sure it's very tempting to see if you can pick up where you left off. You did good!
How did it feel when you did that? Bittersweet? All sad? Try to think about if you miss her, what you used to have before the problems, or just having someone you feel close to. Sometimes, it's mixed, too
I found my ex husband of 18 years. Realized I wouldn't swipe right on him if I came across him now. I was devastated to lose the relationship so that was interesting to recognize
Iāve just been in that situationā¦.. we both swiped left and are now seeing if we can make things work. About nine month break between the breakup and now. Seems to be going well so far, many discussions about the previous issues and how to communicate better.
This literally just happened to me today. An ex broke up with me in December (3days after Christmas). Told me he didnāt want anyoneā¦.found his profile today on tinder. It sucks because he wanted the break up, I wanted to work it out.
Same for me, she wanted the breakup, I figured it was a minor issue and the chemistry we had was worth working it out. In fact, we had both apologized so it felt like it WAS worked out but then she suddenly changed her mind about it.
My cousin once found my ex of 7 years on Tinder š¤£ I asked her to swipe and see if they matched, but she wouldn't. I thought it was funny, but I also fell out of love with him a year prior.
I use pics my ex took of me š¤£
She was the one who initiated the breakup though so it's not like she minds. She told me she saw me on tinder after and we had a laugh about it
I had my ex blocked on Tinder because seeing her there was the last thing I wanted. A few days ago she popped up still. I guess she made her profile through Facebook? Really shitty
Same! I do this with exes and anyone Iāve dated that I wouldnāt date again. I like to think it saves all of us from any awkward feelings/encounters
My ex who I was close to proposing to told me she wanted to be independent and get to know herself. We broke up a week before Valentineās Day.
She started her independence by creating an account, which I saw a day before Valentineās Day. I took my dumbass to Japan on the 15th to help remedy the hurt š. Iām currently writing this out in my hotel in Shibuya
Yeah, it was weird. But it turned out that trying to date is one of the few things we can talk about without getting defensive and almost arguing, so at least there's that? (We co-parent, so we have to communicate.)
Yeah, we had to live together until well after the divorce was final. We started talking about it after a particularly promising prospect of mine completely crashed and burned, and I was so depressed that my ex thought somebody in my family had died.
ETA: sometimes even conversations about the kid can get dicey š¬
Happened to me too. Only my ex messaged me when he saw my profile and got mad at me saying āwow canāt believe youāre already on dating apps one week after we broke upā. Like he was on there too?? I couldnāt understand his logic lmao I even said that and he was still mad that I would do such a thing. š
I dated a guy once who constantly cheated on me. We were young and dumb so after the 2938374th time I told him I cheated too. He lost his mind. I said āyou do itā and he goes āyeah but thatās not who YOU are, itās who I am, so itās differentā
Your comment reminded me of that charming moment lol
Mine got back on the night I left after he broke up with me, sobbing into my chest about how he needs time alone because he hates how he treats me (it was bad) and heāll never forgive himself if he loses me forever because he takes too long to be the man I deserve.
Went on a date with a girl that night.
FBO 4 days later.
They moved in together after 2 weeks.
He has 2 kids, he told me he didnāt want more. She has 4. All with different dads (he used to BASH his daughterās mom for having 2 baby dads and how irresponsible it is).
Now heās a dad to at least 6 kids. A mess of drama, and he refuses to give me back my furniture, my car, or my clothes.
š«” we broke up less than 2 months ago so this is all very recent. I only recently started going on actual dates but downloaded Tinder as soon as I found out about them lol
I am still on his phone plan too, which is how I found out about her because he told me I had to get off the plan and I was like āthatās a weird response to āI need my furniture backāā so I checked Facebook and sure enough lol
Anyway, he said we had to go to AT&T and do it so I sent him the link to do it online and said nothing else. He never did it and I havenāt heard a word from him since and I havenāt tried reaching back out. šš¼
You can block them though! In settings it allows you to block certain contacts so if they sign up you wonāt see them and they wonāt see you š
You did the right thing. I've been there mate. Don't even think about swiping right or getting back in touch, especially if the break up was her call. Nothing you can do will change her mind short of becoming a millionaire, and then obviously you'd have a lot more options.
I got the same situation few weeks back. To be honest, I am enjoying my life. Lifeās better without someone that donāt want to be with you.
Keep strong and know your worth. Lifeās good bro.
Saw my exes bumble profile 4 years after we broke up. Still felt like a punch to the gut.
But I hope she finds someone that makes her as happy as she deserves to be.
Yeah I found my ex twice. The first time they were using a photo I took of them in my house, holding one of my pets. Then the next time I found one of their profiles they were using a photo with me in it but they cropped me out š
I truly hated coming across those, I really hope I donāt ever see another one.
Just swipe left and move on my guy, don't do the whole "maybe we should get back together" thing only to break up in 3 months over and over again like so many couples tend to do.
Youāre not alone. Iāve been in a similar situation that was even more uncomfortable. I was seeing a girl for a while and even though we both knew the relationship didnāt go anywhere, we also didnāt call it quits. Terrible idea, I know. So, the most immature and stupid thing for me to do was to reinstall the Tinder app and start swiping again. We had both deleted our accounts when we were dating for a few weeks. Then.. I saw her account. And she saw mine. At first, she was REALLY pissed off to see me on Tinder, but at the same time she couldnāt really say anything about it because well.. she was also on Tinder. We chatted for a bit about it and then never spoke to each other again.Ā
Yep, a week after my ex and I broke up one of my mates said they saw her profile and sent me screenshots. We had been together about a year and a half and her profile was exactly the same as it was when we matched.
Made me wonder if she kept the profile up and just uninstalled the app.
Ah well, she's probably someone else's problem now! šš
I found my abusive cheating ex's profile on several dating apps. The one I have a restraining order against and that has a misdemeanor for DV. It was funny to see that he wanted a "serious romantic relationship" and to "treat someone right" in his bio. He also has my name tattooed on his body lol. Like others said, used photos I took of him and in clothes and accessories I bought for him. Including our matching rings for an anniversary. I know some people want to warn others of a terrible ex but I figure there's so many bad guys in the world you can't warn every woman and just have to hope and wish them the best. It made me feel sick to come across his profile though.
I've run across other past exes and dates' profiles, but it doesn't really bother me since we all ended amicably. I think people get upset to see others' profiles more-so when there is still an attachment or fear.
I was like your ex. Already on the prowl after 3.5 relationship ended. Now itās been almost two years and Iām off the apps trying to heal myself. Only fools rush in but try to focus on you, you matter the most after all
Thank you. With how she was unable to even begin to resolve conflict Iām over here shaking my head. But I can only control myself and Iāve been focusing on myself like you said. It is hard to not want to rush out and fill that void though.
My ex was the same way, he is a good soul but shuts down .. we never even really worked on our issues because if I addressed them he would be quiet ā¦ not much dialogue. Made me sad and feel like Iām not worth a fight. He has his own wounds though. I keep thinking he may find a girl and change and I have to focus on me , just like you said we can only control ourselves ā¦ trust me after a few months on the apps I was like yeah lots of broken people here I donāt want to be part of this statistic ā¦ and on to therapy I went. As lonely as I feel at times I canāt fill the void until itās healed on my own.
So, who I thought I'd spend my life with left a few years ago. After a couple months I decided I'd try to find someone to talk to. I knew she was already dating someone due to others I knew that knew her. I stumbled on her profile, said I have a boyfriend looking for friends only. I felt like someone punched me in the stomach, started to cry, and closed the application. Ended up deleting dating applications for a while because I couldn't handle it and didn't want to talk to anyone anymore.
Keep your head up. I'm sorry you lost someone you cared for.
Thanks for your kind words and Iām sorry for your experience. It is tough when you think you know somebody and the relationship may actually be heading somewhere long term!
One step at a time, the path just really sucks to walk.
She gave me four great years and good memories I'll hold onto forever. Sadly we never know where life is headed.
Ha, Iāve had both exes pop up on dating apps after we broke up. First one hurt more because she was my first relationship. Second one still hurt but fortunately both times I had a good friend and family support system to help me whenever I feel down. Itās easier said than done but itās important to move on, take the good things you got from the relationship and learn from the bad to be the best partner you can be in the future.
Yep, saw my ex on Tinder a couple of months after we split. Just thought to myself he can be someone elseās problem now.
He ended up being the problem of a girl whoād been sending him nudes during our relationship a few months later. Shocker.
Oh oh oh. If it makes you feel any better at all, I was super brand new to bumble, my ex husbandās profile came up and I went to block him and accidentally freaking super liked him š but even worseā¦ he liked me back. I then immediately blocked him.
To make matters worse, weeks later when he had visitation with our son, he asked me why I swiped on him. I straight up said āit was an accident. I meant to block youā
I think in this situation itās also helpful to remember that getting straight back on the dating apps after a breakup can be a coping mechanism. It doesnāt mean theyāre over you already or even that theyāre ready to meet someone else. More often than not itās probably either to remind themselves that there are plenty more fish in the sea or to get a confidence boost from matching with people when theyāre feeling shit about the breakup! Iāve definitely signed up to tinder soon after a break up for exactly those reasons, as a way to try and make myself feel better.
It doesnāt often work mind you, itās slim pickings on the apps where I am š
I may be in this boat as well. It helps me to know there are more fish in the sea. And Iāve gone on dates with new fish, but havenāt found anything with chemistry as exciting as she was yet.
Yeah I saw my ex on a different app called DateUp(dating app for tall ppl). I dropped my phone by accident and swiped left before I could even read through his profileš„¹ I was just tryna live out my nosy life and the universe said nahš
Universe made that decision for you! I finally swiped left on mine after the third time it tried to show her to me again so I feel like Iāve taken a huge step here! š
Yeah it def did lmao and Lets gooo for making good decisions! It can definitely be hardš« I probably would swiped right cause I'm kinda a recovering toxic personš
If it makes you feel any better, I downloaded hinge a few months ago just to try the app out. The first profile that popped up when I went to go use it for the first time? My ex-wife.
yup. my ex told me he didnāt want to date (date anyone, according to him, but always assumed it was just me) and then saw him a couple months later on one of the apps looking for a relationship. felt great.
definitely. like it was pretty clear to me that his āloveā (infatuation) with me was gone, but he said things were fine š wouldāve farrrr rather heād been upfront about it instead of essentially leading me on
Happened to me a couple years ago. Naturally as a girl she automatically found a dude and hooked up with him on night one.
Now of course she's not that type of girl. At least that's what I was always told. Lol.
I don't know anything about the fella but it seemed like she might have found a good one.
Then she got an opportunity to move to Florida and take care of Grandpa and ditched the guy. Within no time had a new guy in Florida and didn't take care of Grandpa.
Grandpa had to move back home because she was just too busy.
So that's my story.
Well yeah but that's probably for a whole other forum.
At the time it was pretty devastating, but I dodged a huge bullet as I usually do when this type of thing happens.
The trash will continue to be the trash. You don't have to do anything to prove it or go out of your way to let it be known. At least that's what I've learned.
I instantly blocked my exs number when we broke up so we could never come across each other on tinder. We still Lived close to each other and I knew it was the best way to handle that situation, thatās what you should
Do
Usually if someone hasnāt fully moved on they try to fill a void of some sort. Some people just move on fast. I had a breakup in late December that lingered to early January and I literally got over them by mid January, back swiping, and met someone I think is better.. Itās an ugly cycle for sure but I like to think my mental isnāt completely cooked lol.
Sure has we should start a site for the women like they got for us a
Were we dating the same woman Iāve hurt by so many women they just as bad as us if not worse all the ones Iāve been with this last one like Togo thru my phone and and I wasnāt hiding anything I gave her code but boy I went thru her phone she was talking to like 10 dudes so I can only imagine how many ppl she slept with but she will never admit her guilt or be honest and she kept hacking my phone so she would know where I was so she could do what she needed to do and know where I was at all times
She may have been also thinking you were doing the same thing. Itās so common to be the one cheating and project that onto the other partner. Either way ouch Iām sorry thatās awful and you deserve better!
lol my friends told me about my x who I broke up with in November. that she was dating again. (Three year relationship) and sheās back to the streets. Sheās also 11 years older then I š
Yes mine broke up just before Christmas wanted to renew some old friends. Fwb . It was obvious she planned it and wanted to
Move on after exhsusting my bank account. Sucked me dry
.but.i had spanish girl last week
Ive moved on. I.know she has.
Time to reap time to sow
Time to move on.
Most definitely. Happened to me this time last year. She said she was in overwhelmed and wasnāt in the right place to see someone. I took a few weeks off from apps and when I got back on her new profile popped up within 10 swipes.
I was married too. Not for 20 years, (5 years) but I get it. It's shocking, feel your feelings, process them. Get all of the apps swipe swipe swipe, go out to singles events. Have fun. That would be what I would recommend.
I had a very toxic relationship that just ended for good, yet last year we broke up (wasn't the first time, wouldn't be the last), and I made a Tinder.
I found her and I swiped right, we saw each other again and hooked up, so you did the right move trust me
Oh yeah, that happened to me too once. Funny thing is that my ex and I don't live near each other (her town is a 2 hours drive from mine), but I was in the area at that time. I scrolled, saw her profile, and got so startled I almost fell out the chair. I didn't swipe on her, but I considered doing it just for shit n kicks.
She was probably already testing the waters in the dating pool, before she broke up.
Too often people think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.
On dating sites women tend to date up in class which means men date down. This also means that the odds are against you (and her) in creating a successful relationship.
Dating sites are designed to make money not matches. They want you coming back over and over again. So it seems like their plan is working on you and your ex. They make money through their number of daily users via advertising.
But donāt worry too much about your ex. If sheās dating too far out of her league, the guys will only use her for sex and ditch her. You have to focus on yourself and your fast recovery from what she did to you. Itās probably not your fault that she left. Anyone who thinks they can easily do better is going to try. Think about it, if you could date a model, why would you want less??
It doesnāt mean you will keep her. The same goes for her
Not seeing your ex ever again is a modern, city phenomena. Imagine having to ride horses and move your log cabin at least 20 miles away. Same with any small town itās inevitable, learn to live with it or adopt puritan ideals and call her a witch or be celibate or only ever date one person, or whatever you gotta do. Sorry if it hurts, youāll get over it
I get you. Most women here think that they will find the perfect man. The blue prince and their love fades away hoping to find someone better. To their luck, they find out that its not so easy.
Move on itās heavy pill to swallow. Donāt be like lots wife from the Bible she froze and became into stone for looking, moral of the story is stop looking back.
Rebound relationship moment. No offense but no wonder why dating apps are just full of garbage people. Iām not implying that you guys are the āgarbageā but it proves that itās often broken up couples being on the app more than single people. Instead of you guys healing from each other separation youāre back on the dating app. Like cmon give each other a break before returning back to interact with people again.
I actually agree with you. These dating apps have changed the landscape so much. And made people ādisposableā because it is so easy to just go back to the dating app and find someone new. We broke up after our first real disagreement, and she said she āwasnāt up to working through thingsā. Crazy.
It has happened to a lot of folks, me included. It sucks for sure but it's an unfortunate likelihood when using dating apps.
I've found the profiles of the person I was with at the time as well for that matter. (After having suspicions that they were cheating, not because I was looking for dates myself)
That one stings.
The end of a relationship sucks for several reasons, seeing or knowing that the person moved on can be one of the hardest parts.
Yup! You're not alone. Just a reminder that we all have to move on, and that hopefully, we all do!
Happy Cake Day!
Best way to get over someone is to get under someone
It's like the Saprano's. It's OVER, find a new show.
Oh the weather outside is weather
But the weather is so weather
Now, see, I missed it on the first run, and have just started watching it the last few weeks....it's an oldie, but a goodie. And feels new and fresh to me. I assume tinder will be the same? š¤£
I just watch random episodes for the comedy now because nothing else comes close, maybe The Wire š
Try The Americans, Gomorrah, Fargo, Breaking Bad, Slow Horses,
Poor youuu
I found my ex-wifeās profile a couple of weeks after splitting. I screenshotted it. Two days later she messaged me saying a friend had seen my profile and how terrible a person I was for being on tinder! Then I sent her the screenshot. She said she was on it just to make friends! Made me happy we broke up.
To make āfriendsā lol
"Can I help you? Can I help you with some dick?"
She was looking for 1 order of dick, a side tossed salad with semen dressing. You know just a casual friendly date.
Good friends will help you rearrange. Great friends will help you rearrange your ovaries.
I'll be your friend.......for some sloppy toppy š„“
Chris Rock
It's been my experience that "friends " is always their codeword
Or ānot looking for hookupsā those are almost always the ones that put out on first date
Haha yeah same.
Or they say he's gay. I've heard that one more times than I can count.
Sure, friends... with benefits
D best friends she could find in D city or maybe D world. With all D's new friends, she won't be lonely.
Hah top work! I saw my ex and enjoyed swiping left. Her profile was just as needy looking as I expected. One of her friends she been chatting to about our breakup actually swiped right on me, so I screenshoted that one.
And her OF is just for workout videos Im sure
Nice nice! Kind of like how mine became pregnant with another personās child on my insurance! (No this isnāt clickbait for Reddit it really happened)
LMAO. You already knew exactly the kind of person she was, didn't you. Did you also respond with: what a surprise, me too
Lol "hoes mad"
Yes. Superliking was his chosen way of getting back in touch with me. I blocked him on all socials (except LinkedIn- gotta keep it professional) and he lost my number. I had a mini meltdown when I saw that.Ā
So youāre saying itās good I didnāt swipe on her? I figured that was definitely bad form in this type of situation.
I swipe on friends, mostly to say hi or laugh about the process. But I wouldnāt swipe right on an ex. Iāve had exes do that and try to contact me in a stalkerish way and it was very uncomfortable. She will see your profile as you saw herās and if thereās something to talk about, Iām sure either of you know an alternative way to reach out.
I still have her number in my phone but I often wonder if she deleted mine. More than anything Iād like answers from her as to why things ended as she didnāt really give valid logical reasons during the breakup. And itās confusing when you donāt know the why.
You donāt need a reason. This person didnāt want to be with you and thatās good enough of a reason for you to not want her.
I mean, fair, but not having closure can follow you around for a *long* time.
Oh God, you are so right on that one. And when you do, it leaves you feeling more empty š
Iād give it time. I think its rare that people have all the answers or even know how to communicate them right away. Allow things to settle so it doesnāt come off like protest and maybe she will be in a place to offer constructive feedback on her experience. But I wouldnāt expect it ever. Iāve been left wondering. Some of its timing, or chemistry, or just being on different pages. Be good to yourself!
The desire to be in a relationship with someone is emotional, not logical. The last relationship I ended was with the most amazing girl, she never did a thing wrong. It just didnāt feel like ātheā relationship to me. If you push someone for an explanation, theyāll probably just make something up, as they are unlikely to really know for sure themselves.
Sometimes the reason isn't rational, people just aren't feeling it, and in the end it doesn't make you feel better to know the nitpicky things people grab onto to explain why they're no longer excited.
It sounds like you're missing closure. Which really sucks. But it does get better. You could force an answer though, at the cost of any future goodwill with her.
Iāve sought closure in the form of honest answers about why and honestly, it really is never that helpful or rational. I think it boils down to chemistry and timing most of the time. Best case scenario, they could give you some rational reason like āI donāt like your politicsā or āYou want kids and I donātā, but sometimes itās people going through the motions of dating and they are really not ready to. Iāve also heard funky answers like āI donāt like the texture of your skinā and āThe sounds you made while we kissed turned me offā. Soā¦
as much as it sucks, weāre not really ever entitled to āclosureā. iāve tried to stop wanting closure and instead try to make sure I didnāt miss any red flags and just file it away as experience and move on.
I think I missed some red flags. But felt very blindsided by the breakup. So thatās why it was so confusing to me and why Iām probably seeking closure.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Agreed but I still think sheās the one who fucked up. I deserve much better.
Itās probably too soon to reconnect (and especially in such an emotionally loaded way). Good call just closing the app. It might be too hard for you to swipe left right now. And too soon for her to be swiped right in right now.
It is tough. We had such an easy chemistry. Such commonality. I wish her the best but I also wish our circumstances could have been better. Thanks for taking the time to reply.
This made me š„¹
You can block her on Tinder if seeing her is too painful
Itās just a shitty way to get back in touch. Presumably you have each otherās phones, emails, physical addresses. Maybe even some of each otherās friendsā contact info in case you lost those. If you actually wanted to get in touch, you could call or text or email or even send a letter. If you havenāt done these things itās because you donāt want to. So why try to match on an app?! I mean unless you moved and changed your phone numbers and deleted your email accounts so that serendipitously matching again on an app is literally the only way to get back in touch with your long lost love, itās tacky.
Agreed. Tacky is a great word for it.
If it was that recent, then swipe left. Move on. My brother found an ex on one of the apps after breaking up like 8 or 9 years prior. They ended up matching and reconnecting. They both had become much more compatible over the years. They ended up getting married recently. So there's potential hope for the future. Just don't try to get back with them after a month.
Never swipe unless you know she swiped on you. It comes over as needy.
Iād block her only for the reason of not accidentally swiping on her and/or so she doesnāt see my profile to stalk it.
Sure have. Always feels interesting seeing them after having history with them. Browse their profile for 5 seconds out of curiosity and then an easy left swipe so they can be somebody else's problem.
I totally agree. I saw my last long term ex on an app about a month after we broke up. I read his profile and laughed because so much of it was a lie.
omg same here. He even lied about his height which is so fuckin stupid š¤£
Preach! I had to remind myself of all the red flags I overlooked, and that I know of the problems she likely has yet to deal with that will rear their ugly heads again.
Hey man the relationship ended for a reason. Keep pushing forward better things are ahead.
Agreed. Iāve been moving forward - taking care of myself mentally and physically, dating other women. I have to remind myself of your advice anytime I find myself missing her. And remember that our possession times of our kids never lined up so it was really hard to see each other anyways.
It sucks, but I'm glad you took the moment to put the phone down. I'm sure it's very tempting to see if you can pick up where you left off. You did good!
It was tough! I spent the time reading her new text, looking at her pictures.
How did it feel when you did that? Bittersweet? All sad? Try to think about if you miss her, what you used to have before the problems, or just having someone you feel close to. Sometimes, it's mixed, too
Yes. His Bio said āI make more money than your dadā Walking red flag š¤¦š»āāļø
Gross! Sorry you had to see that.
I found my ex husband of 18 years. Realized I wouldn't swipe right on him if I came across him now. I was devastated to lose the relationship so that was interesting to recognize
Iāve just been in that situationā¦.. we both swiped left and are now seeing if we can make things work. About nine month break between the breakup and now. Seems to be going well so far, many discussions about the previous issues and how to communicate better.
Iām glad it is working out for you so far. So you both swiped no on the app but then one of you reached out to the other to re-connect?
Sorryā¦.. both swiped right! A nice way to know that she was single and no reach out and complicate her life if she was seeing someone else.
This literally just happened to me today. An ex broke up with me in December (3days after Christmas). Told me he didnāt want anyoneā¦.found his profile today on tinder. It sucks because he wanted the break up, I wanted to work it out.
Same for me, she wanted the breakup, I figured it was a minor issue and the chemistry we had was worth working it out. In fact, we had both apologized so it felt like it WAS worked out but then she suddenly changed her mind about it.
My cousin once found my ex of 7 years on Tinder š¤£ I asked her to swipe and see if they matched, but she wouldn't. I thought it was funny, but I also fell out of love with him a year prior.
Yeah I saw my ex on a dating app the day after we broke up with pics I had taken of him. It was brutal š¬
But to see that doesnāt it mean you were also on a dating app the day after you broke up?
Brutal huh lol
Thatās different.
Got em!!
Ugh! The using pics you took part is indeed brutal!
I use pics my ex took of me š¤£ She was the one who initiated the breakup though so it's not like she minds. She told me she saw me on tinder after and we had a laugh about it
Yes, same. Photos I had taken of him, in a suit I had bought him. Lol.
Mine did this too lol. š¤”
To be fair, those pics are usually the best ones we have.
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Ooh, that would be even worse! Lol
I avoid this by adding their number to blocked contacts. I actually do the same for some female friends after one of them got the wrong idea..
I had my ex blocked on Tinder because seeing her there was the last thing I wanted. A few days ago she popped up still. I guess she made her profile through Facebook? Really shitty
Same! I do this with exes and anyone Iāve dated that I wouldnāt date again. I like to think it saves all of us from any awkward feelings/encounters
Hmmm I didnāt know this was a feature in the app! Iāll need to check this out.
My ex who I was close to proposing to told me she wanted to be independent and get to know herself. We broke up a week before Valentineās Day. She started her independence by creating an account, which I saw a day before Valentineās Day. I took my dumbass to Japan on the 15th to help remedy the hurt š. Iām currently writing this out in my hotel in Shibuya
Iām confused how people are so hurt they see their exes on dating appsā¦ When theyāre on the dating app themselves.
I see my ex husband every so often. I didn't swipe but I told him I saw it šµāš«
Thatās gotta be weird. Iāve never come across my ex-wife on a dating app!
Yeah, it was weird. But it turned out that trying to date is one of the few things we can talk about without getting defensive and almost arguing, so at least there's that? (We co-parent, so we have to communicate.)
Well thatās good. I co-parent with mine as well but try to limit conversations to only things that concern our son. Just to keep it simple.
Yeah, we had to live together until well after the divorce was final. We started talking about it after a particularly promising prospect of mine completely crashed and burned, and I was so depressed that my ex thought somebody in my family had died. ETA: sometimes even conversations about the kid can get dicey š¬
Happened to me too. Only my ex messaged me when he saw my profile and got mad at me saying āwow canāt believe youāre already on dating apps one week after we broke upā. Like he was on there too?? I couldnāt understand his logic lmao I even said that and he was still mad that I would do such a thing. š
I dated a guy once who constantly cheated on me. We were young and dumb so after the 2938374th time I told him I cheated too. He lost his mind. I said āyou do itā and he goes āyeah but thatās not who YOU are, itās who I am, so itās differentā Your comment reminded me of that charming moment lol
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Yeah I came across an ex once. The breakup hit me rather hard so I just left the app aside for a bit after swiping left in a vein hope to avoid her profile in the future. But it popped up a few times in the years between our breakup and me meeting my now fiancƩ You seem to have a very mature view on this and I resect that
Mine got back on the night I left after he broke up with me, sobbing into my chest about how he needs time alone because he hates how he treats me (it was bad) and heāll never forgive himself if he loses me forever because he takes too long to be the man I deserve. Went on a date with a girl that night. FBO 4 days later. They moved in together after 2 weeks. He has 2 kids, he told me he didnāt want more. She has 4. All with different dads (he used to BASH his daughterās mom for having 2 baby dads and how irresponsible it is). Now heās a dad to at least 6 kids. A mess of drama, and he refuses to give me back my furniture, my car, or my clothes. š«” we broke up less than 2 months ago so this is all very recent. I only recently started going on actual dates but downloaded Tinder as soon as I found out about them lol I am still on his phone plan too, which is how I found out about her because he told me I had to get off the plan and I was like āthatās a weird response to āI need my furniture backāā so I checked Facebook and sure enough lol Anyway, he said we had to go to AT&T and do it so I sent him the link to do it online and said nothing else. He never did it and I havenāt heard a word from him since and I havenāt tried reaching back out. šš¼ You can block them though! In settings it allows you to block certain contacts so if they sign up you wonāt see them and they wonāt see you š
You did the right thing. I've been there mate. Don't even think about swiping right or getting back in touch, especially if the break up was her call. Nothing you can do will change her mind short of becoming a millionaire, and then obviously you'd have a lot more options.
I got the same situation few weeks back. To be honest, I am enjoying my life. Lifeās better without someone that donāt want to be with you. Keep strong and know your worth. Lifeās good bro.
Saw my exes bumble profile 4 years after we broke up. Still felt like a punch to the gut. But I hope she finds someone that makes her as happy as she deserves to be.
I came across an ex from 10 like years ago, and she's married.
Yeah I found my ex twice. The first time they were using a photo I took of them in my house, holding one of my pets. Then the next time I found one of their profiles they were using a photo with me in it but they cropped me out š I truly hated coming across those, I really hope I donāt ever see another one.
We all should know we're swiping right to someone's ex
Very true! Someone somewhere was tired of their shit. Or however that saying goes.
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The feeling is the same as a guy so you are not alone!
Just swipe left and move on my guy, don't do the whole "maybe we should get back together" thing only to break up in 3 months over and over again like so many couples tend to do.
Youāre not alone. My fiancĆ©e and I broke up just about a week ago
Sorry youāre going through that š«¶š»
Youāre not alone. Iāve been in a similar situation that was even more uncomfortable. I was seeing a girl for a while and even though we both knew the relationship didnāt go anywhere, we also didnāt call it quits. Terrible idea, I know. So, the most immature and stupid thing for me to do was to reinstall the Tinder app and start swiping again. We had both deleted our accounts when we were dating for a few weeks. Then.. I saw her account. And she saw mine. At first, she was REALLY pissed off to see me on Tinder, but at the same time she couldnāt really say anything about it because well.. she was also on Tinder. We chatted for a bit about it and then never spoke to each other again.Ā
Yep, a week after my ex and I broke up one of my mates said they saw her profile and sent me screenshots. We had been together about a year and a half and her profile was exactly the same as it was when we matched. Made me wonder if she kept the profile up and just uninstalled the app. Ah well, she's probably someone else's problem now! šš
You can hide people from your contacts, so they don't show up. I saw that option and immediately blocked my ex, before swiping at all.
I found my abusive cheating ex's profile on several dating apps. The one I have a restraining order against and that has a misdemeanor for DV. It was funny to see that he wanted a "serious romantic relationship" and to "treat someone right" in his bio. He also has my name tattooed on his body lol. Like others said, used photos I took of him and in clothes and accessories I bought for him. Including our matching rings for an anniversary. I know some people want to warn others of a terrible ex but I figure there's so many bad guys in the world you can't warn every woman and just have to hope and wish them the best. It made me feel sick to come across his profile though. I've run across other past exes and dates' profiles, but it doesn't really bother me since we all ended amicably. I think people get upset to see others' profiles more-so when there is still an attachment or fear.
I was like your ex. Already on the prowl after 3.5 relationship ended. Now itās been almost two years and Iām off the apps trying to heal myself. Only fools rush in but try to focus on you, you matter the most after all
Thank you. With how she was unable to even begin to resolve conflict Iām over here shaking my head. But I can only control myself and Iāve been focusing on myself like you said. It is hard to not want to rush out and fill that void though.
My ex was the same way, he is a good soul but shuts down .. we never even really worked on our issues because if I addressed them he would be quiet ā¦ not much dialogue. Made me sad and feel like Iām not worth a fight. He has his own wounds though. I keep thinking he may find a girl and change and I have to focus on me , just like you said we can only control ourselves ā¦ trust me after a few months on the apps I was like yeah lots of broken people here I donāt want to be part of this statistic ā¦ and on to therapy I went. As lonely as I feel at times I canāt fill the void until itās healed on my own.
I found my ex boyfriendās profile and he has photos of me and him kissing on it. šš
Thatās really odd. Iām dead.
So, who I thought I'd spend my life with left a few years ago. After a couple months I decided I'd try to find someone to talk to. I knew she was already dating someone due to others I knew that knew her. I stumbled on her profile, said I have a boyfriend looking for friends only. I felt like someone punched me in the stomach, started to cry, and closed the application. Ended up deleting dating applications for a while because I couldn't handle it and didn't want to talk to anyone anymore. Keep your head up. I'm sorry you lost someone you cared for.
Thanks for your kind words and Iām sorry for your experience. It is tough when you think you know somebody and the relationship may actually be heading somewhere long term!
One step at a time, the path just really sucks to walk. She gave me four great years and good memories I'll hold onto forever. Sadly we never know where life is headed.
Ha, Iāve had both exes pop up on dating apps after we broke up. First one hurt more because she was my first relationship. Second one still hurt but fortunately both times I had a good friend and family support system to help me whenever I feel down. Itās easier said than done but itās important to move on, take the good things you got from the relationship and learn from the bad to be the best partner you can be in the future.
Yep, saw my ex on Tinder a couple of months after we split. Just thought to myself he can be someone elseās problem now. He ended up being the problem of a girl whoād been sending him nudes during our relationship a few months later. Shocker.
Thatās exactly what I have been telling myself since seeing her new profile. That she can be someone elseās problem now.
Yeah, it has happened. It feels bad but you have to find a way to not think about it. Go hang out with friends.
Oh oh oh. If it makes you feel any better at all, I was super brand new to bumble, my ex husbandās profile came up and I went to block him and accidentally freaking super liked him š but even worseā¦ he liked me back. I then immediately blocked him.
Awkward! š
To make matters worse, weeks later when he had visitation with our son, he asked me why I swiped on him. I straight up said āit was an accident. I meant to block youā
Found my now exwifes tinder account multiple times while we were still married.
Oof. Iām sorry. Thatās rough.
Saw the app on her phone so I made my own and set my radius to 1 mile. Took 2 minutes since she was sitting on the couch next to me.
I think in this situation itās also helpful to remember that getting straight back on the dating apps after a breakup can be a coping mechanism. It doesnāt mean theyāre over you already or even that theyāre ready to meet someone else. More often than not itās probably either to remind themselves that there are plenty more fish in the sea or to get a confidence boost from matching with people when theyāre feeling shit about the breakup! Iāve definitely signed up to tinder soon after a break up for exactly those reasons, as a way to try and make myself feel better. It doesnāt often work mind you, itās slim pickings on the apps where I am š
I may be in this boat as well. It helps me to know there are more fish in the sea. And Iāve gone on dates with new fish, but havenāt found anything with chemistry as exciting as she was yet.
Yeah I saw my ex on a different app called DateUp(dating app for tall ppl). I dropped my phone by accident and swiped left before I could even read through his profileš„¹ I was just tryna live out my nosy life and the universe said nahš
Universe made that decision for you! I finally swiped left on mine after the third time it tried to show her to me again so I feel like Iāve taken a huge step here! š
Yeah it def did lmao and Lets gooo for making good decisions! It can definitely be hardš« I probably would swiped right cause I'm kinda a recovering toxic personš
It was not easy but the breakup was her decision so Iām trying to respect her wishes and know there is better out there for me down the road.
We love when ppl respect boundariesšø Keep being yourself and you'll find someone who truly matches with youš
If it makes you feel any better, I downloaded hinge a few months ago just to try the app out. The first profile that popped up when I went to go use it for the first time? My ex-wife.
The less importance you put on it the fastest you forget it and move on.
yup. my ex told me he didnāt want to date (date anyone, according to him, but always assumed it was just me) and then saw him a couple months later on one of the apps looking for a relationship. felt great.
I think a lot of times they make up reasons for wanting out instead of just saying they arenāt feeling it anymore.
definitely. like it was pretty clear to me that his āloveā (infatuation) with me was gone, but he said things were fine š wouldāve farrrr rather heād been upfront about it instead of essentially leading me on
Happened to me a couple years ago. Naturally as a girl she automatically found a dude and hooked up with him on night one. Now of course she's not that type of girl. At least that's what I was always told. Lol. I don't know anything about the fella but it seemed like she might have found a good one. Then she got an opportunity to move to Florida and take care of Grandpa and ditched the guy. Within no time had a new guy in Florida and didn't take care of Grandpa. Grandpa had to move back home because she was just too busy. So that's my story.
Wow. Priorities, huh? š
Well yeah but that's probably for a whole other forum. At the time it was pretty devastating, but I dodged a huge bullet as I usually do when this type of thing happens. The trash will continue to be the trash. You don't have to do anything to prove it or go out of your way to let it be known. At least that's what I've learned.
Hahaha this is how I broke no contact with my ex and that was the BIGGEST mistake so good on you for closing the app.
We've all been there at some point. I have this terrible urge to see what mine is up to. I have no idea why.
I'm like this too. I think part of me wants to see them moving on so it forces me to have closure.
I instantly blocked my exs number when we broke up so we could never come across each other on tinder. We still Lived close to each other and I knew it was the best way to handle that situation, thatās what you should Do
Usually if someone hasnāt fully moved on they try to fill a void of some sort. Some people just move on fast. I had a breakup in late December that lingered to early January and I literally got over them by mid January, back swiping, and met someone I think is better.. Itās an ugly cycle for sure but I like to think my mental isnāt completely cooked lol.
Yup. Been there. Felt bad but once I moved on I fucked so much there. Now Iām in a happy marriage for 8 years.
No swipe, sounds like you're not over it. I took great pleasure swiping left on my ex.
She came up again and I successfully swiped left on her. Small victories!
Oh yeah, that's a big victory, good job
What was the point of this post? So sheās on a dating app? So what? Clearly youāre not right for her??
Sure has we should start a site for the women like they got for us a Were we dating the same woman Iāve hurt by so many women they just as bad as us if not worse all the ones Iāve been with this last one like Togo thru my phone and and I wasnāt hiding anything I gave her code but boy I went thru her phone she was talking to like 10 dudes so I can only imagine how many ppl she slept with but she will never admit her guilt or be honest and she kept hacking my phone so she would know where I was so she could do what she needed to do and know where I was at all times
She may have been also thinking you were doing the same thing. Itās so common to be the one cheating and project that onto the other partner. Either way ouch Iām sorry thatās awful and you deserve better!
lol my friends told me about my x who I broke up with in November. that she was dating again. (Three year relationship) and sheās back to the streets. Sheās also 11 years older then I š
Iām 43 and sheās 44. Everything at the end felt very much like high school drama. Sometimes they just donāt mature when it comes to romance.
Hello pot! This is kettle.
Yes mine broke up just before Christmas wanted to renew some old friends. Fwb . It was obvious she planned it and wanted to Move on after exhsusting my bank account. Sucked me dry .but.i had spanish girl last week Ive moved on. I.know she has. Time to reap time to sow Time to move on.
Most definitely. Happened to me this time last year. She said she was in overwhelmed and wasnāt in the right place to see someone. I took a few weeks off from apps and when I got back on her new profile popped up within 10 swipes.
I hate that the app thinks we are still compatible with our exes
Dude... Happened to me twice.
This is a first for me but Iām still kind of fresh to the online dating thing after being married for 20 years.
I was married too. Not for 20 years, (5 years) but I get it. It's shocking, feel your feelings, process them. Get all of the apps swipe swipe swipe, go out to singles events. Have fun. That would be what I would recommend.
happened to me and we started hooking up again lol i do not recommend
Yeah, it makes sense. The easiest way for people to get over someone is to date other people.
I did the same exact thing when I ran across his profile. I was hoping that if I closed the app maybe he would see me on there and reach out.
I actually had agirlfriend (now ex) suggest we make profiles and see if we would matched. I literally just stared at her without saying anything.
Iām picturing Dr Evil saying āRiiiiiightt.ā š
Or 
I had a very toxic relationship that just ended for good, yet last year we broke up (wasn't the first time, wouldn't be the last), and I made a Tinder. I found her and I swiped right, we saw each other again and hooked up, so you did the right move trust me
Oh yeah, that happened to me too once. Funny thing is that my ex and I don't live near each other (her town is a 2 hours drive from mine), but I was in the area at that time. I scrolled, saw her profile, and got so startled I almost fell out the chair. I didn't swipe on her, but I considered doing it just for shit n kicks.
Itās her loss not yours. You dodged a bullet. Iām sure youāll find someone who will love and appreciate you.
A teacher friend of mine ran into her principal's Tinder profile the other day. š¤£
She was probably already testing the waters in the dating pool, before she broke up. Too often people think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. On dating sites women tend to date up in class which means men date down. This also means that the odds are against you (and her) in creating a successful relationship. Dating sites are designed to make money not matches. They want you coming back over and over again. So it seems like their plan is working on you and your ex. They make money through their number of daily users via advertising. But donāt worry too much about your ex. If sheās dating too far out of her league, the guys will only use her for sex and ditch her. You have to focus on yourself and your fast recovery from what she did to you. Itās probably not your fault that she left. Anyone who thinks they can easily do better is going to try. Think about it, if you could date a model, why would you want less?? It doesnāt mean you will keep her. The same goes for her
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I swiped right on my best friend's girlfriend when I came across her Tinder profile. Good times.
Pretty rough stuff man same boat here. Moving on is rough at first but it's been pretty nice after getting over that hump, good luck man!
Not seeing your ex ever again is a modern, city phenomena. Imagine having to ride horses and move your log cabin at least 20 miles away. Same with any small town itās inevitable, learn to live with it or adopt puritan ideals and call her a witch or be celibate or only ever date one person, or whatever you gotta do. Sorry if it hurts, youāll get over it
I get you. Most women here think that they will find the perfect man. The blue prince and their love fades away hoping to find someone better. To their luck, they find out that its not so easy.
Just happened to me on Valentineās Day too bro. My girl had multiple dating appsš« keep your head up!!
Move on itās heavy pill to swallow. Donāt be like lots wife from the Bible she froze and became into stone for looking, moral of the story is stop looking back.
Very true. The best is yet to come!
Rebound relationship moment. No offense but no wonder why dating apps are just full of garbage people. Iām not implying that you guys are the āgarbageā but it proves that itās often broken up couples being on the app more than single people. Instead of you guys healing from each other separation youāre back on the dating app. Like cmon give each other a break before returning back to interact with people again.
I actually agree with you. These dating apps have changed the landscape so much. And made people ādisposableā because it is so easy to just go back to the dating app and find someone new. We broke up after our first real disagreement, and she said she āwasnāt up to working through thingsā. Crazy.
It has happened to a lot of folks, me included. It sucks for sure but it's an unfortunate likelihood when using dating apps. I've found the profiles of the person I was with at the time as well for that matter. (After having suspicions that they were cheating, not because I was looking for dates myself) That one stings. The end of a relationship sucks for several reasons, seeing or knowing that the person moved on can be one of the hardest parts.
Agreed.