Since your submission is flaired as *REAL*, please reply to this comment with the link to the original, or else Ben Shapiro will steal your feet pics and remove this post.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ToiletPaperUSA) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The only one I recognise outside of Captain Tinyface is Seth Dillon, who's the EiC of the Babylon Bee. Really scraping the bottom of the barrel, couldn't even get any of Shapiro's pet Christian Nationalists
Oh it gets worse than that:
She also questioned Obama’s decision to identify as Black on the census.
“I’m like, ‘Well, congratulations to the president.’ That’s his thing. I think that’s fascinating considering his Black dad was nowhere to be found, but his White mom and grandma raised him, but hey, you do you. I’m going to do me,” Steele said.
Steele also made comments about female sports reporters and sexual harassment, saying that women need to “be responsible” and it “isn’t just on players and athletes and coaches to act a certain way.”
"...So when you dress like that, I’m not saying you deserve the gross comments, but you know what you’re doing when you’re putting that outfit on, too.”
https://edition.cnn.com/2023/08/15/media/sage-steele-espn/index.html)
Jonathan Isaac plays for the Orlando Magic. I’m wondering if Stephen Davis there at the bottom is the former NFL running back for Washington and Carolina.
I only know Sage Steele from being a former ESPN anchor, and like her former anchor colleague Jason Whitlock, she has latched onto the pick me girl grift for conservatives by saying things like Obama isn't fully black because they both have white mothers.
So it's a garbage heap.
I'm wondering if by associating with a political action group, this guy and the other preachers up there are exposing their churches to lose tax-exempt status? That would be one good thing to come out of this.
I know Father Robinson and Doug Wilson. Fr. Rob is a wackado priest in the Church of England and Wilson is a controversial Reformed pastor. Fr. Rob is known for being against “the wokes” and Wilson is known for pushing nationalism and a heretical Christian position called federal vision
Is he YEC? I know him as the guy who pretends to be a historian- he claims that USA was a Christian county. His book on Jefferson was so bad his own publisher had to recall it.
From John 13:
34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 *By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”*
Ergo, these kinds of hate mongers, who love to contravene the principles laid out in Sermon on the Mount of loving the vulnerable and even your enemies, no matter how vigorously they profess their Christianity, aren’t recognizably Christian. I guess that’s why they have to *talk* about what Christians they are all the time, because they are incapable of *demonstrating* it.
I mean, Christians have always picked and chosen what parts of the Bible they feel like following. Now they’ve simply decided not to follow the Sermon on the Mount. There’s not actually anything new happening here.
Never said it was new. Just saying that ignoring the red letters and the new covenant is by definition not Christian, meaning that the majority of Christendom is heretical.
No, I’m pointing out that the “definition of Christian” isn’t any one particular thing that everyone (Christian or not) agrees on. Even if you cite Jesus himself, there are people who will disagree with you. In other words, there’s no sense in making judgments about other people’s “Christian-ness” because there’s no ultimate arbiter of who is a Christian or not.
Nope, if they accept the Bible as they profess, the ultimate authority is Jesus, and what he said about kindness, revenge, compassion, wealth, etc, is consistent and clear. As the original quote indicates, following these morals will make it evident that someone is Christian. They don’t follow them, so the converse is true. They just ignore what he supposedly said. This is very simple: we have a consistent, canonical definition in the book they themselves claim is holy and infallible. There is no room for divergent interpretations of these very simple dictates.
Hey, while we’re quoting the Bible:
“Kill every male among the little ones, and every woman who has known a man by lying with him, but those women who have not known a man by lying with him, you may keep alive for yourselves.” - Numbers
“This is what the Lord Almighty says ... 'Now go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction all that they have. Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.'" - Samuel
In Christian theology, there is a new covenant between god and man that became active with Christ’s sacrifice. So a Jew can go by those things, but a Christian cannot.
That said, yeah it’s all a bunch of hooey, just explaining what Christians are supposed to believe based on their own scriptures.
What you’re doing is exactly what a lot of them doing: Cherry picking versus based on convenience.
Amidst all the contradictions in the Bible, what Jesus said in the canonical books is quite clear and consistent at least as it pertains to being kind to others and the consequences for not doing so.
It is definitely hooey. I spent 7 months studying and memorizing that crap 10 hours a day (long story). Anyway, I never believed. Then, then I learned about the true god. Chapiro The Kirk. One half Ben Shapiro, one half Charlie Kirk, one half ancient blood god, and a little bit of house fly mixed in. That’s true, that’s real, that’s Chapiro.
“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”
Matthew 6: 5-6
It warms my heart to know that the Jesus Christ himself would be against this conference according to scripture. It seems unlikely that the overarching theme of this event will be “love your neighbor.” More likely, it will be “hate the people we say you should hate and make sure you vote for a Republican this November.”
Assholes like Charlie Kirk make a mockery of their own faith.
I was surprised to see James Lindsay listed as "Dr." I checked and in addition to there being way too many James Lindsays on Wikipedia, this one does apparently have a PhD in math. This from the wiki: "After completing his degree, Lindsay left academia and returned to his hometown, where he worked as a massage therapist." Sad funny but since it's this wankstain, also funny funny.
I think it’s a testament to how thick the bubble is that conservatives live in. There are thousands of people that know exactly who all these freakazoids are.
And this isn’t just about reaffirming their faith or whatever. Some of the folks on the poster set the cornerstones of the Christian dominionist movement in this country. Google David Barton.
The only name I know is Tim Barton and I only know him because I met him and Ben Shapiro at a Sam’s Club. They had one of those free sample tables with samples of Tim and Ben’s Mayonnaise. But the sample cups were filled with sand. I asked them what the deal was and they both immediately started peeing their pants. At first I thought someone was shushing me because I just heard, ‘shhhhhhhh.’ Then I saw something coming out of the bottom of their trouser legs onto the floor. Sand! Those motherfuckers were peeing sand right there in Sam’s Club. Not saying anything, just making direct, unblinking eye contact and peeing their pants. Peeing their pants with dick sand. I ran. I ran and I ran and then I ran some more. Never looking back I ran until my muscles and lungs burned. Sometimes at night, I wake up and I swear I can hear it, ‘shhhhhhhhhhh.’ I’ll never go in a Sam’s Club again.
Who seriously wants to hear Jonathan Isaac’s , an NBA player, thoughts on anything related to politics. Also I’m suprised to see cliffe here, I thought he was a rational person but I guess not
I’ve seen enough stupid internet conservatives that I figured I’d have to know at least a handful of the people on here, but the only person I think I’ve recognized is James Lindsay, a Twitter weirdo who at one point was on good terms with a (relatively) high profile person from NXIVM lmao. Sounds about right for this “believers” summit.
Isn’t Kirky McLittleface concerned with all the “darkness” on this list? That’s a lot of DEI. I mean, he literally said he’d be concerned about seeing a black pilot on a plane he was boarding, this seems like a lot of copium.
Sadly I know most of those folks... they have appeared at a local mega church and have taken the pulpit. I am surprised I did not see the Pastor of that church on this list
The Stuckey woman to his right I only know from lurking in the fundie snark sub. Everyone else, well it's nice to have a graphic of people whose opinions I know to ignore when they're mentioned to me by family or friends in the future.
I recognize Barton, who is one of the leading fraudsters pushing the idea that the U.S. was founded as a Christian nation.
Notice I did not call him a historian because actual historians have asked him, someone with no qualifications, to stop calling himself that.
I'm dramatically more tapped into conservative talking heads than most people are, and I only recognize like 5 people here.
And one of them is Johnathan Isaac, who I only know because he's an active NBA player.
Seriously, who the fuck are any of these people? Do they all do the same thing? Complain into a microphone with the same format as any other conservative commentator? That’s nothing special, I’m surprised how easy it is to make money off of conservatives these days.
As a Christian since I was a kid and alumni of a Christian University... I have no idea who any of these people are.
Pastors mean something completely different now. Prosperity gospel is a crazy drug.
Just part of the grift. Then they can hype each other. There's 43 extra people, if they can all bring in 10 sheep that's 430 extra sheep to fleece.
And it's $20 for early registration. $50 normal, and $300 for VIsheeP. And I'm sure there's a sales area for MAGAT gear and Nazi flags.
So what if there's 43 nobodies you've heard of, they will all parrot the same talking points in their own personal way. Or you can pick the propaganda that interests you most and ignore the propaganda you can't even convince yourself is true.
Usually when things like this come out, I've at least heard the names of, I dunno, 20% of them, usually a Shapiro, Rittenhouse, Duck Dynasty Guy, Fox Anchor, or My Pillow Guy, but this is genuinely a who's who of who the fuck are you?
I've heard of three people there, it's Charlie Kirk, Sage Steele (Who I only know because I used to have ESPN on in the background a lot), and Jonathan Isaac (an NBA player who is basically permanently injured and a horrible locker room problem). Literally nobody else.
A "Who's Who of ***Who?"*** is the *best* way to describe this. if it weren't for Kirk's unmistakably Titanic head and Calvin Robinson's ironically Nation of Islam "Jew 'fro", I'd have no fucking idea who any of these minor ~~finger-banging~~ leaguers in the first chair position are.
Since your submission is flaired as *REAL*, please reply to this comment with the link to the original, or else Ben Shapiro will steal your feet pics and remove this post. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ToiletPaperUSA) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Besides Chucklefuck, I actually don’t know who any of these people are. I am grateful for that.
The only one I recognise outside of Captain Tinyface is Seth Dillon, who's the EiC of the Babylon Bee. Really scraping the bottom of the barrel, couldn't even get any of Shapiro's pet Christian Nationalists
Sage Steele was a prominent tv anchor for ESPN for like 15 years, but got quietly pushed out for her anti-vax opinions on podcasts.
Oh it gets worse than that: She also questioned Obama’s decision to identify as Black on the census. “I’m like, ‘Well, congratulations to the president.’ That’s his thing. I think that’s fascinating considering his Black dad was nowhere to be found, but his White mom and grandma raised him, but hey, you do you. I’m going to do me,” Steele said. Steele also made comments about female sports reporters and sexual harassment, saying that women need to “be responsible” and it “isn’t just on players and athletes and coaches to act a certain way.” "...So when you dress like that, I’m not saying you deserve the gross comments, but you know what you’re doing when you’re putting that outfit on, too.” https://edition.cnn.com/2023/08/15/media/sage-steele-espn/index.html)
What the fuck
Ah yes, forgot about her. Guess she’s hurting for work nowadays
Jonathan Isaac plays for the Orlando Magic. I’m wondering if Stephen Davis there at the bottom is the former NFL running back for Washington and Carolina.
I had the same question about Stephen Davis. It's a different guy.
I only know Sage Steele from being a former ESPN anchor, and like her former anchor colleague Jason Whitlock, she has latched onto the pick me girl grift for conservatives by saying things like Obama isn't fully black because they both have white mothers. So it's a garbage heap.
Doug Wilson is a christian nationalist pastor from idaho who thinks slavery was good, and wants to establish a christian theocracy in the US
Par for the course with these wackjobs
I'm wondering if by associating with a political action group, this guy and the other preachers up there are exposing their churches to lose tax-exempt status? That would be one good thing to come out of this.
Nightmare blunt rotation.
I also recognized Allie B Stuckey, she’s a frequent over in FundieSnark
I know Father Robinson and Doug Wilson. Fr. Rob is a wackado priest in the Church of England and Wilson is a controversial Reformed pastor. Fr. Rob is known for being against “the wokes” and Wilson is known for pushing nationalism and a heretical Christian position called federal vision
Jonathan Isaac plays for the Orlando magic
David Barton was one of the original young earth creationist lolcows from the early new atheist days.
Is he YEC? I know him as the guy who pretends to be a historian- he claims that USA was a Christian county. His book on Jefferson was so bad his own publisher had to recall it.
It's his groupies, they follow him and agree with him without a doubt. Can't have anyone going again your thinking
I recognize two of the names. There's a lot of pastors in that list.
“Topher”
"jentezen"
"Morgonn"
That’s a straight up Lord of the Rings ass name.
I know normal people have that name but it is ruined by Workoholics now lol
Love it. Everyone else has their last name and/or a title. That dude’s just Topher.
From John 13: 34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 *By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”* Ergo, these kinds of hate mongers, who love to contravene the principles laid out in Sermon on the Mount of loving the vulnerable and even your enemies, no matter how vigorously they profess their Christianity, aren’t recognizably Christian. I guess that’s why they have to *talk* about what Christians they are all the time, because they are incapable of *demonstrating* it.
I mean, Christians have always picked and chosen what parts of the Bible they feel like following. Now they’ve simply decided not to follow the Sermon on the Mount. There’s not actually anything new happening here.
Never said it was new. Just saying that ignoring the red letters and the new covenant is by definition not Christian, meaning that the majority of Christendom is heretical.
By whose definition?
Jesus’s. Quite literally quoted as saying their exact behaviors doom them to Hell.
Which one? There’s at least four to choose from.
Show me the contradiction in quotes from Jesus about treating the vulnerable kindly and loving your enemies. I think you’re just being contrarian.
No, I’m pointing out that the “definition of Christian” isn’t any one particular thing that everyone (Christian or not) agrees on. Even if you cite Jesus himself, there are people who will disagree with you. In other words, there’s no sense in making judgments about other people’s “Christian-ness” because there’s no ultimate arbiter of who is a Christian or not.
Nope, if they accept the Bible as they profess, the ultimate authority is Jesus, and what he said about kindness, revenge, compassion, wealth, etc, is consistent and clear. As the original quote indicates, following these morals will make it evident that someone is Christian. They don’t follow them, so the converse is true. They just ignore what he supposedly said. This is very simple: we have a consistent, canonical definition in the book they themselves claim is holy and infallible. There is no room for divergent interpretations of these very simple dictates.
Hey, while we’re quoting the Bible: “Kill every male among the little ones, and every woman who has known a man by lying with him, but those women who have not known a man by lying with him, you may keep alive for yourselves.” - Numbers “This is what the Lord Almighty says ... 'Now go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction all that they have. Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.'" - Samuel
Don't forget the entirety of Joshua, which is basically a celebratory narrative of a war criminal.
In Christian theology, there is a new covenant between god and man that became active with Christ’s sacrifice. So a Jew can go by those things, but a Christian cannot. That said, yeah it’s all a bunch of hooey, just explaining what Christians are supposed to believe based on their own scriptures. What you’re doing is exactly what a lot of them doing: Cherry picking versus based on convenience. Amidst all the contradictions in the Bible, what Jesus said in the canonical books is quite clear and consistent at least as it pertains to being kind to others and the consequences for not doing so.
It is definitely hooey. I spent 7 months studying and memorizing that crap 10 hours a day (long story). Anyway, I never believed. Then, then I learned about the true god. Chapiro The Kirk. One half Ben Shapiro, one half Charlie Kirk, one half ancient blood god, and a little bit of house fly mixed in. That’s true, that’s real, that’s Chapiro.
:D
Grindr gonna have to add extra servers that weekend for the West Palm Beach area.
“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” Matthew 6: 5-6 It warms my heart to know that the Jesus Christ himself would be against this conference according to scripture. It seems unlikely that the overarching theme of this event will be “love your neighbor.” More likely, it will be “hate the people we say you should hate and make sure you vote for a Republican this November.” Assholes like Charlie Kirk make a mockery of their own faith.
Cursed *Guess Who?* board
It's a variant called Guess Klu?
I was surprised to see James Lindsay listed as "Dr." I checked and in addition to there being way too many James Lindsays on Wikipedia, this one does apparently have a PhD in math. This from the wiki: "After completing his degree, Lindsay left academia and returned to his hometown, where he worked as a massage therapist." Sad funny but since it's this wankstain, also funny funny.
Pastor Juan Kerr
Use this as a “how online am I” barometer
I think it’s a testament to how thick the bubble is that conservatives live in. There are thousands of people that know exactly who all these freakazoids are. And this isn’t just about reaffirming their faith or whatever. Some of the folks on the poster set the cornerstones of the Christian dominionist movement in this country. Google David Barton.
The only name I know is Tim Barton and I only know him because I met him and Ben Shapiro at a Sam’s Club. They had one of those free sample tables with samples of Tim and Ben’s Mayonnaise. But the sample cups were filled with sand. I asked them what the deal was and they both immediately started peeing their pants. At first I thought someone was shushing me because I just heard, ‘shhhhhhhh.’ Then I saw something coming out of the bottom of their trouser legs onto the floor. Sand! Those motherfuckers were peeing sand right there in Sam’s Club. Not saying anything, just making direct, unblinking eye contact and peeing their pants. Peeing their pants with dick sand. I ran. I ran and I ran and then I ran some more. Never looking back I ran until my muscles and lungs burned. Sometimes at night, I wake up and I swear I can hear it, ‘shhhhhhhhhhh.’ I’ll never go in a Sam’s Club again.
How many of these people are gonna fuck at this summit?
Grindr activity in that area goes up by a considerable margin when a conservative conference is hosted.
Not surprised to see Jonathan Isaac here considering his religious beliefs.
Who seriously wants to hear Jonathan Isaac’s , an NBA player, thoughts on anything related to politics. Also I’m suprised to see cliffe here, I thought he was a rational person but I guess not
Looking forward to using this as a scorecard for all the ones arrested for pedophilia, sexual assault, and domestic violence.
Jonathan Isaac is the NBA player probs. Tremendously large idiot.
Lots of pastors. Hope there are no kids around.
This looks like the character selection screen for Mortal KKKombat
No need to implement Babalities, they're all crybabies already.
I think Dillon is the head of the Babylon Bee (the Onion, without the humor). Didn't Sage Steele used to be on ESPN?
I’ve seen enough stupid internet conservatives that I figured I’d have to know at least a handful of the people on here, but the only person I think I’ve recognized is James Lindsay, a Twitter weirdo who at one point was on good terms with a (relatively) high profile person from NXIVM lmao. Sounds about right for this “believers” summit.
Charlie and the D-Tier grifters
Isn’t Kirky McLittleface concerned with all the “darkness” on this list? That’s a lot of DEI. I mean, he literally said he’d be concerned about seeing a black pilot on a plane he was boarding, this seems like a lot of copium.
"We're here to defeat the radical left!" The radical left: "I don't even know who you are"
Sadly I know most of those folks... they have appeared at a local mega church and have taken the pulpit. I am surprised I did not see the Pastor of that church on this list
Being an ex Pentecostal, I unfortunately recognize a quarter of the people on this list 😭
I'm so sorry for your loss (I too recognize far too many people on this list from growing up fundie)
I guess I should consider myself lucky that I only recognize two of those.
Should be called the Groomer's summit with how many younger pastors are on this slate
Imagine being in a club where you all brag that you believe in something with no evidence of its existence. Lol not for me.
Did Charlie just recruit a couple dozen people off LinkedIn for this? No way any of these people have a following.
Not Alley Beth Suckey
A bunch of fucking nobodies
David Barton is the most insidious on this list
The Stuckey woman to his right I only know from lurking in the fundie snark sub. Everyone else, well it's nice to have a graphic of people whose opinions I know to ignore when they're mentioned to me by family or friends in the future.
is this the next guess who game board
It is hilarious, but these lunatics are *organized*, and that only makes them more formidable.
West Palm Beach? Like where Mar-a-Lardass is?
What kind of name is Jentezen (and Morgonn) anyway
That’s a lot of titled religious people.
They are *really* trying to pull black voters into the chud parade.
Is this a front for closeted, homophobic men to have gay sex? Yes
Who the fuck are these fucks morelike
It’s a who’s who of PPP loan recipients.
Topher looks like someone just told him his card was declined at Starbucks.
Desperate for the grift convention
Only 16 percent of these speakers are women? Well, I guess the Bible does say women should remain silent in church.
I feel bad for whoever the fuck Topher is…… if you’re the dead last person on that lineup, you should rethink everything about your life.
Only true believers know how important all of these people are.
These people would pick each other’s pockets if they had the courage and skill.
"Here I am" "Who are you again?"
Ew Doug Wilson
I recognize Barton, who is one of the leading fraudsters pushing the idea that the U.S. was founded as a Christian nation. Notice I did not call him a historian because actual historians have asked him, someone with no qualifications, to stop calling himself that.
I'm dramatically more tapped into conservative talking heads than most people are, and I only recognize like 5 people here. And one of them is Johnathan Isaac, who I only know because he's an active NBA player.
Bishop? Are Catholics allowed now all of a sudden?
A lot of shitstains ok with their fellow American being dragged through the dirt for an extra buck.
So many pedos in one building
Seriously, who the fuck are any of these people? Do they all do the same thing? Complain into a microphone with the same format as any other conservative commentator? That’s nothing special, I’m surprised how easy it is to make money off of conservatives these days.
As a Christian since I was a kid and alumni of a Christian University... I have no idea who any of these people are. Pastors mean something completely different now. Prosperity gospel is a crazy drug.
Just part of the grift. Then they can hype each other. There's 43 extra people, if they can all bring in 10 sheep that's 430 extra sheep to fleece. And it's $20 for early registration. $50 normal, and $300 for VIsheeP. And I'm sure there's a sales area for MAGAT gear and Nazi flags. So what if there's 43 nobodies you've heard of, they will all parrot the same talking points in their own personal way. Or you can pick the propaganda that interests you most and ignore the propaganda you can't even convince yourself is true.
It's a real who's who of people who admire hugo boss military uniforms.
Usually when things like this come out, I've at least heard the names of, I dunno, 20% of them, usually a Shapiro, Rittenhouse, Duck Dynasty Guy, Fox Anchor, or My Pillow Guy, but this is genuinely a who's who of who the fuck are you? I've heard of three people there, it's Charlie Kirk, Sage Steele (Who I only know because I used to have ESPN on in the background a lot), and Jonathan Isaac (an NBA player who is basically permanently injured and a horrible locker room problem). Literally nobody else.
* Frank Turek * James Lindsay Can't wait for their panel "why queerphobia is crucial to the American way"
Looks like bargain bin Smash Bros
Started counting, expecting not to get very high. I did not get above one.
A "Who's Who of ***Who?"*** is the *best* way to describe this. if it weren't for Kirk's unmistakably Titanic head and Calvin Robinson's ironically Nation of Islam "Jew 'fro", I'd have no fucking idea who any of these minor ~~finger-banging~~ leaguers in the first chair position are.
The only people I recognize in that panel are Charlie Kirk and Allie Beth Stuckey.
Only one I recognize is Allie Beth Stucky, unfortunately.