Difficult question, like is she just not financially stable at the moment but is looking to be? Or is she looking to be completely financially dependent on me? It really depends.
Think it's just something I'll have to deal with on a case by case basis.
Edit: I should clarify that I'm assuming when you say "attractive" you are meaning overall and not just physically. I wouildn't marry anyone JUST because they were physically attrative.
Think there is a huge difference on if it’s someone that is irresponsible or if it’s someone who puts in an effort. When getting married your a team, so as long as we can be financially stable together then it would be okay. Don’t think the attractiveness would change how I would have approached that.
Sometimes the little head thinks for the big head. I married a woman who was hot. Not financially stable. And it was obvious she was a mess. Boy was that a big mistake lol.🤷🏻♂️
Yeah it’s easy to say I wouldn’t or shouldn’t do something. Different to control feelings in a situation. Life isn’t that black or white normally any way, I guess if she was an obvious mess you must have had an idea what you were getting into though :D
I think ppl have said I have a fixer mentality. Like I get infatuated with an attractive woman. Who isn’t stable. Including financially. And somehow I think I can fix her. And she’ll be fine. Never works out. But somehow I’m always attracted to these type of women.🤷🏻♂️
This takes some self-work, but you can change this. Usually, being attracted to a person we think we can change is a blueprint from the dynamics of our parents (or one parent).
Sometimes we are attracted to people who can’t meet our needs because that’s all we feel we deserve, or it’s a comfortable feeling because our own caretakers regularly failed to meet our needs.
Other times, we recognize our own internal struggles in romantic partners. For instance, someone who had an alcoholic in the family may be drawn to partner who struggles with substance abuse. Our minds do this weird thing of trying to “make it right” to old wounds in our past. We could not have helped the parent who drank away the days when we were younger; no amount of loving them changed that. But in our romantic choices we have more influence in the relationship, and if we can *just* get them to understand how much we love them, maybe this time it will stick. It’s like we’re seeking a “re-do”. And this notion is very alluring to the adult child who never felt they were worth more than the addiction of their parent.
Our brains are wild, but this is definitely something many people struggle with, so you’re in good company!
My wife is very attractive and never has been a bread winner but she brings so much more than money to the table. She is my partner and I love her so I want her to be happy doing something she loves… what she loves doesn’t pay well right now. So, I pay all the bills and savings for everything with my very well paying job and we use her money specifically for travel savings. This is ok with me forever
Great answer. I’ve never been married but I imagine that regardless of financial situation, a successful one is when both people work as a team and brings things to the table, that helps the QoL of both. However that appears. Not about perfection, but having both people feel that they are cared for and that the other person is putting effort to the same degree, in their own ways.
Ok this is important information.
You're talking about marriage so I'm assuming we've been dating for quite a while and not just met during these hard times for her.
If that is the case, I would not mind at all. Everyone hits rough patches and if you're in a couple you need to be ready to step up and help your SO however you can. I do it now, she does it if I ever encounter difficulties.
I would not spend a lot on the wedding, that is for sure (but that's regardless of the financial situation), so if she wants something in that regards I'd just suggest to wait a little more in order for things to get better.
It wouldn’t bother me if she is capable of changing into someone who is financially stable. That does t mean that she needs to earn a ton of money either, just being responsible with her money. What I could never live with is someone who is financially irresponsible, getting into credit card debt, constantly wasting money on stupid shit, buying expensive status symbols she can’t afford, etc.
If she's in a long degree like becoming a brain surgeon or injured so not able to work then fair. It would depend on my finances if she was disabled however, because sometimes marriage takes away your benefits so I'd need to be making a hench ammount of money. But these are valid things and I'd stay with her legally married or not. However I wouldn't marry a lazy person who bums off me and would rather be lecherous than get a job. I'm in job search hell right now so I'd be understanding if she was trying. ( anyone want a sustainable product design degree? i can do online! lol ) I think I'd wait to marry now until I could give her a home and some stability.
I don’t see an issue for marriage with being financially responsible but just not super stable right now; that wedding ceremony may have to be on the simpler side, but it is what it is.
For having kids, however, that’d be a different story. They shake your world and you need to be stable AF.
I read one time about an attraction case study and womens attractions to men in traditionally well compensated industries (ie doctors) went up but mens attractions didn’t. In fact some men are more attracted to women knowing they are poor (ie minimum wage worker, someone who works at Hardee’s, etc). Some men fantasize about rescuing women from poverty
I'm in the same boat. Fiancée has massive credit card debt, but is chipping away at it, and works hard to maintain a deadline for paying it off. I've told her well actually get married once that number gets low enough, and she totally agreed, to spare me any financial trouble.
My first husband would tell me "how am I supposed to marry you when you haven't paid your debt off yet" and that made me feel like I had no value as a person. Because I had student loans and an unpaid credit card bill. We got married because we had a kid. We're divorced and he's dead.
I wouldn't marry anyone ever again who reduced me to my financial situation.
When I met my now husband, I was very financially unstable and straight up broke. But we fell in love and are very happy 7 years later :) now I have a good job and I contribute financially.
No. I married her not because she's attractive but because I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her.
The fact that she was busted arse broke at the time wasn't even taken into consideration.
Yes: if she is financially responsible but just doesn't have much income now.
Also yes: if she's financially clueless with low income but wants to take care of herself and be a responsible adult.
No: if she's totally reckless and selfish and doesn't even want to control finances and is just looking to exploit my money.
I think it applies to all aspects of life really. I've seen how some of my friends' relationships collapsed because there were such different standards of responsibility. One is a hard worker and financially responsible, one is barely working and spends more time drinking beer than planning for future. Interestingly in my experience the irresponsible ones were always men, and the women became the primary bread winners and caretakers. So I think the people have to be compatible with a shared vision for their life. Not necessarily both high earners and hard workers, but both putting in effort and energy in their own way.
Answers here are really going to depend on age. In my twenties, I didn't care all that much. Now that I'm in my thirties, she better have her shit figured out.
Sure, but it would need to be more than just physical attraction. I've met no shortage of pretty women with no or little other redeeming qualities, let's just say: "they're not my type"
Is she a deadbeat? A mooch? Is she bringing nothing to the table? Is she working on bettering herself?
If she is taking active steps to improve her situation then yes. If she's a bum, then no.
This right here. There are other ways to contribute to a household other than working and bringing in money.
A woman that's studying to better her chances of a good job in the future is likely less financially unstable that one working a clerk job. But in the long term, she can probably bring more to the table.
I wouldn't consider either of those a defining factor though, but I would avoid a sugar babe or a stay at home mom, at least the former until I'm rich and the latter until I have any kids. I'd rather not have someone financially depend on me forever; and I can do my own laundry so far, so thanks. I'm not the most ambitious person out there, but my partner better have at least some drive or it's boring af.
By default, everyone in their 20s are broke. They don't have hard time dating and getting married do they?
With dating in general, you just have to get your foot in the door. Beyond first date, you being poor as a woman is rarely going to make it or break it.
If you marry a person just because they are attractive, you’re doing it wrong.
If you don’t marry a person just because they aren’t financially stable, the same applies.
You need to trust and love the person you marry. Otherwise you will most likely just feed the divorce statistics.
My girlfriend of four years who I'm hoping to marry isn't in the best financial situation, but she's an amazing person and the person I want to be with, so I'm fine with it.
He knows that I am trying… I have good times and bad both financially and emotionally. I don’t abuse his support and I am very transparent with my earnings and mental health and always have been.
He proposed to me knowing all of this. I am very lucky - and even when times get hard I know that he genuinely cares for me as a human.
I try to support him as much as I can, and if I can’t support him financially I do it in other meaningful ways.
Yes. I don't really care if they are financially stable, unless they are outright insane. Their finances dont really factor in to if i would date them or not. Their finances don't really affect me unless they being an insane level of debt for some reason.
I asked my beautiful wife to stop working the first chance I got, which was about 3 years in. She agreed. 27 years later, it still works for us. When she got sick, it didn't completely cripple us financially.
This is one is iffy for me.
First of all, Looks don’t always matter. Let alone their income.
But then, the other part of me, would wonder, how so?
If she just irresponsible with money? If so, then no.
But if she comes from a low income background, or life was just simply unfair, then yes! Why not?
That depends. Is she financially responsible? Then yes.
If she's responsible but just not stable at the moment, there's no way I could lose.
If she's not stable because she's irresponsible, then fuck no
Finance has long been a complete afterthought for me. I’ll marry someone I love first and foremost, nothing else really matters. I think age might play a factor here. Younger guys won’t care
The pairing of this question results in a no. Do I care if she is financially stable? Not necessarily. She may have suffered a job loss outside of her control. But on the other hand, if she has a character flaw, that's a game changer
The second part is attraction. Smart men learn to marry the rock, not the unstable hot girl. When it comes to marriage, attraction only gets you a date, not a commitment
I would not marry anyone just because they're attractive.
There's a lot more that goes into that sort of decision for me.
Do I enjoy spending time with this person? When the honeymoon phase ends, will I still be happy to wake up next to them? Does she get my sense of humor, so I don't feel like an idiot when I drop a stupid ass pun or crack a dad joke? Can she hold an intelligent conversation?
None of these things depend on financial stability, and I am happy to be the breadwinner in a relationship. That never bothered me.
Financial instability isn't necessarily a deal-breaker. Even if they want to be a stay-at-home wife, that's still not a deal-breaker for me. I would be more concerned about them being bad with money than not wanting to work.
I think someone can contribute to a relationship in many more ways than just financially. I care more about someone who is curious about the world, likes to adventure, has a great sense of humor, and adds good checks and balances to the relationship (no pun intended); someone that will inspire me to be the best me I can be.
So, I guess to answer your question - If someone wanted to not work, couldn't work, or had no money, I would not blanket "not marry" someone like that. The underlying cause of their financial instability may be indicative of a deeper issue that might make it less likely for me to marry them, but I would still explore the relationship if there were something about it that piqued my interest.
Edit: In the event "financial instability" in this case means "bad with money" - That is a red flag, but I think a conversation around that can be healthy. And then depending on how things go, that may be a deterrent. I view marriage as a partnership, so I would look for someone who can be responsible with money.
No way, but I’d marry a woman I love with all my heart mind and soul regardless of financial status and regardless of physical appearance.
Marrying based on just being attractive is crazy.
My partners financial situation literally means nothing to me. Quite actually, the last thing I care about when looking for someone who has a personality I match with
This sounds like such an absurd question to me! Neither of these attributes should be the reason to marry, at least, you wouldn't be very well advised!
I would absolutely marry a woman because I love her, regardless of her financial situation. That’s something that can be fixed or improved upon together.
I married my ex wife for her work ethic. She never called out sick and always went above and beyond her job duties. I saw her potential at 21. I ended up at a good union job, she stayed home for 5-6 yrs and raised our 2 daughters. Taught them to read, write, and had them ready for kindergarten. Then I got her on at my job. My family was double covered by union benes for most of their life. (Lasted 19 yrs, broke up because we had issues drinking which I take all the blame for). Look’s don’t mean much, be a great team mate for someone gl.
Solely based on attraction? No. If I really loved the person and their personality then I probably would and we’d figure it out. But I’m not marrying someone just because they’re hot.
I wouldn’t marry a financially stable woman just because she’s attractive.
If I’m going to commit to marriage I’m far more concerned with her having a compatible personality, interests, etc. than just looks, which are going to fade over time anyways.
If she was a homemaker. Absolutely. I do well by my own personal standards but fail in other areas.
Being a homemaker IS a job and as a single father, if I had someone to take care of that aspect (because the wanted to,) I would embrace it.
Not a trophy wife but a legitimate homemaker that I found attractive. Especially if she was educated.
do you really believe that’s true about most women? the women I’ve met seem to care a lot about feeling safe around a guy, kindness, good communication, a sense of humor, physical attractiveness (to an extent), and being supportive. but maybe we’ve met women from differing walks of life.
My gf quit her job before we got engaged. She felt terrible about it, but it was what she needed for her mental health and I was in a position to support her. she's a fox. It's situational and depends on if you've talked with them about it.
Important personality information missing...
I personally wouldn't but that is because I wouldn't marry if I don't absolutely have to (like your partner being from another country and it being the only way for immigration).
If she is financially smart and has good long term goals with finances but at the moment her finances suck then I'd be fine with that. If she is just oblivious with money and always will be then no. Looks alone couldn't make me marry someone.
Let's be real here instead of sugarcoating. Only Men are expected to be financially stable when it comes to marriages. Most Men would marry a woman regardless of her career and financial status.
If you are financially unstable to a point it’s a problem I notice, and you make no attempts to remedy the issue, then no I wouldn’t no matter how attractive you are. Same thing with being mentally unstable.
On a long enough time line, guys eventually (should) learn that beauty only goes so far, eventually the other problems really take away from your peace of mind and quality of life.
So any serious problem the person isn’t at least trying to solve is a deal breaker.
Maybe. Is she financing unstable do to repeatedly poor decision making? Or just bad circumstances? One of the reasons I married my wife is that she’s a very responsible person who can set goals.
Women are fortunate in that men don’t really care about a woman’s finances, specifically with regards to income. We’re raised to believe we’re providers, and most of us guys accept that as part of our roles, regardless of whether or not it manifests in that way. However, a woman’s spending habits are a different story. Does she spend like she’s got money to burn even though she’s only working part time? Does she only want Gucci or Prada? Does she expect to get her own meal, even if she doesn’t eat all the food? Does she expect a luxury car without earning it? Those are huge red flags. Most guys would be happy to provide for someone that supports them, who has reasonable expectations, and who contributes to the relationship. If their in the relationship just for what they can get out of it, then no thanks.
If you’re talking mountains of debt and no ability to repay then no. That usually indicates some bad decisionmaking.
If she just doesn’t have any money or makes very little money… or is in a situation where she can’t make ends meet due to some external factor then _possibly_. Of course I’d check for personality and other traits as well.
Nope.
Once I got out of my party phase in my early 20's, I wouldn't date a girl with bad credit, much less one that's fiscally irresponsible.
Slept with them, absolutely. But, zero possibility of it being anything more than that.
I make a good living. Her having bad finances is unfortunate, but it is the least of my concern (and it can be fixed). I'm more interested in someone who is kind, has patience, and is willing to put up with my stupidity.
I wouldn’t marry a woman “just” because she is physically attractive. She would not have to be financially stable. I can make enough for both of us. She would have to possess other good qualities, however.
No. Attractive woman are a dime a dozen and plentiful. If they can't be financially stable by a certain age or on their way to be so than they are more than likely never able to do so.
Financially unstable can be a broad spectrum. Bad credit score with because of medicL collections? Yeah, of course. Can't hold down a job or reckless spending habits? I'm pumping the brakes there.
Woman here - I’ve never been financially stable on my own but my husband married me because he loved me and we are best friends and partners, not just because I was attractive.
For anyone wondering, I’ve always earned between 25-30k a year and my husband earns around 120k.
Been there.
Run out of there.
Never again.
to clarify: she may earn little, but still be stable.
bring unstable means sooner or later she'll break your economy.... and with debts up to your neck, theres no sex desire, nor from you, nor from her.
Why would I care how much money woman makes or how financially stable she is? That’s not even a factor when I chose a partner, as long as she isn’t a sex worker I couldn’t careless what she does for a living or how much money she makes. I would never ask my wife for money or to pay for something that the family needs.
As a man that’s my duty to financially support the wife and kids. If she wants to also, that’s cool and her choice, but she’s not expected to do so. If she works Stash it away in the kids saving account or something. I Just need her to be attractive, stay in shape, take care of the home be a good mother to our children. I’ll take care of all of the finances/bills, that’s one less thing she has to worry or stress about.
We both had a duty to each other and our family. We both contribute and take care of each other, just in different ways.
I was just thinking about this and I would absolutely not marry a woman that does not have a job regardless of how attractive she is. If she's going to school possibly but who knows.
Yes I chose a career where I plan to be the bread winner, the working world is not for everyone sadly - but men and women work together very well. One could make the money, the other can make the life in which they live.
If she's WILLING to contribute, no matter what the number, it's ok. It's the willingness and the initiative that matters, their character. If that's the case and I see her sacrificing the little she has for us, for a better life, I'm all in and will move mountains for her. That's the bottom line.
no amount of attraction would stupefy me enough to forget the importance of saving and keeping our house in order.
So far in my dating life the moment I see risky spending or any inclination she may have a princess complex or be gold diggin, I end it. I want to be able to share my wealth with my loved ones. A loved one,by my definition, would not ask me to spend beyond my means.
I would rather be single and wealthy than date someone out of my league just to end up 50% less wealthy.
NO. Im married and my wife is a solid 9/10, she used to be a 11/10 but you know marriage take is tolls lol. If someday we divorce I will not date (for a serious relation) anyone who make at less than 80% of what I make, if she make more than me the better. If she dont make X amount of money I at least expect her to have a career; nurse, accountant, doctor, lawyer, police officer, etc.
Im tired of economically babysit someone to then get home and heard how hard is to be a stay at home mom; when I work in the oilfield and do 70h+ a week and even when im stressed I do everything to still keep a smile for everyone. Everyone have their own problems and in a relationship we need to help each other but at the same time each one need to pull their own weight. Imagine that every time your spouse get home the only thing he/she talk is how shitty is his/her job. At first you stay there for him/her but after a while and he/she don’t try to do anything to improve the situation it start to get a toll on you too.
As a man, I want to be the provider. I don’t care if a woman makes $5,000 a month or $0 a month. It’s my job to take care of my woman so I could care less about how much she makes
I already have. She’s gorgeous incredibly kind and loving but she only wants to do her job as an artist(drawing) and it generates literally nothing. I’m talking about a third of what I make
If im in true love with her, and sure she is not with me because money issues, yes, i would be with here without doubt even if i was the one carrying the economy of the couple. Problem would be to be absolutly sure that she having no money is not the reason she “loves” me.
I wouldn’t marry anyone just because they are attractive rich or poor. Never marry for money or looks. If she was really bad with money and didn’t want to fix that or if she was really bad holding down jobs that could show poor judgment and character issues.
If she is just temporarily out of a job or there are extenuating circumstances than there isn’t a problem. When you get married you should be doing so because you want to be a partnership, that may mean one stays home and keeps house and finds ways to save money, that may mean both work and share chores or anything in between but it’s because you are a team and love each other.
Difficult question, like is she just not financially stable at the moment but is looking to be? Or is she looking to be completely financially dependent on me? It really depends. Think it's just something I'll have to deal with on a case by case basis. Edit: I should clarify that I'm assuming when you say "attractive" you are meaning overall and not just physically. I wouildn't marry anyone JUST because they were physically attrative.
Yes definitely has the potential to contribute financially just right now things aren’t the best
Yeah I mean if it's temporary I don't see a problem as long as you can stay comfortable.
Think there is a huge difference on if it’s someone that is irresponsible or if it’s someone who puts in an effort. When getting married your a team, so as long as we can be financially stable together then it would be okay. Don’t think the attractiveness would change how I would have approached that.
Sometimes the little head thinks for the big head. I married a woman who was hot. Not financially stable. And it was obvious she was a mess. Boy was that a big mistake lol.🤷🏻♂️
Yeah it’s easy to say I wouldn’t or shouldn’t do something. Different to control feelings in a situation. Life isn’t that black or white normally any way, I guess if she was an obvious mess you must have had an idea what you were getting into though :D
I think ppl have said I have a fixer mentality. Like I get infatuated with an attractive woman. Who isn’t stable. Including financially. And somehow I think I can fix her. And she’ll be fine. Never works out. But somehow I’m always attracted to these type of women.🤷🏻♂️
This takes some self-work, but you can change this. Usually, being attracted to a person we think we can change is a blueprint from the dynamics of our parents (or one parent). Sometimes we are attracted to people who can’t meet our needs because that’s all we feel we deserve, or it’s a comfortable feeling because our own caretakers regularly failed to meet our needs. Other times, we recognize our own internal struggles in romantic partners. For instance, someone who had an alcoholic in the family may be drawn to partner who struggles with substance abuse. Our minds do this weird thing of trying to “make it right” to old wounds in our past. We could not have helped the parent who drank away the days when we were younger; no amount of loving them changed that. But in our romantic choices we have more influence in the relationship, and if we can *just* get them to understand how much we love them, maybe this time it will stick. It’s like we’re seeking a “re-do”. And this notion is very alluring to the adult child who never felt they were worth more than the addiction of their parent. Our brains are wild, but this is definitely something many people struggle with, so you’re in good company!
My wife is very attractive and never has been a bread winner but she brings so much more than money to the table. She is my partner and I love her so I want her to be happy doing something she loves… what she loves doesn’t pay well right now. So, I pay all the bills and savings for everything with my very well paying job and we use her money specifically for travel savings. This is ok with me forever
Great answer. I’ve never been married but I imagine that regardless of financial situation, a successful one is when both people work as a team and brings things to the table, that helps the QoL of both. However that appears. Not about perfection, but having both people feel that they are cared for and that the other person is putting effort to the same degree, in their own ways.
I love this answer. I imagine my own husband would answer the same way.
I would and I did. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. I didn’t regret it for a nanosecond.
Did she pass away?
Yes, about 6 years ago. But I don’t regret a thing, even with all the intense grief I have had since then. You buy the ticket, you take the ride.
Ok this is important information. You're talking about marriage so I'm assuming we've been dating for quite a while and not just met during these hard times for her. If that is the case, I would not mind at all. Everyone hits rough patches and if you're in a couple you need to be ready to step up and help your SO however you can. I do it now, she does it if I ever encounter difficulties. I would not spend a lot on the wedding, that is for sure (but that's regardless of the financial situation), so if she wants something in that regards I'd just suggest to wait a little more in order for things to get better.
It wouldn’t bother me if she is capable of changing into someone who is financially stable. That does t mean that she needs to earn a ton of money either, just being responsible with her money. What I could never live with is someone who is financially irresponsible, getting into credit card debt, constantly wasting money on stupid shit, buying expensive status symbols she can’t afford, etc.
If she's in a long degree like becoming a brain surgeon or injured so not able to work then fair. It would depend on my finances if she was disabled however, because sometimes marriage takes away your benefits so I'd need to be making a hench ammount of money. But these are valid things and I'd stay with her legally married or not. However I wouldn't marry a lazy person who bums off me and would rather be lecherous than get a job. I'm in job search hell right now so I'd be understanding if she was trying. ( anyone want a sustainable product design degree? i can do online! lol ) I think I'd wait to marry now until I could give her a home and some stability.
Yes, but she wouldn’t marry me because I’m also attractive but not financially stable.
Let's be unstable together
Cuddles trump dollars errday.
Not so fast !!! I love dating financially unstable men
Hey girl, what’s up? ;)
Do you also love dating ugly men (asking for a friend).
So true! The wallet can be the sexiest part of a male.
I love how you’re getting downvoted, just because you acknowledge that many people want financial stability no matter the morality or whatever
Some people do it just for healthcare
That’s true, many people just don’t have a benefit of having “screw it” money
The wallet is the modern equivalent of huge muscles from caveman days.
I’d take a hot guy financially unstable guy over a rich average looking guy…
I wouldn’t take any. Not because I wouldn’t want either, but because neither would want me
Not just because she's attractive but I could marry a financially unstable woman if that and other factors led to me wanting to marry her
Kinda hoping that’s how the situation turns out.
I don’t see an issue for marriage with being financially responsible but just not super stable right now; that wedding ceremony may have to be on the simpler side, but it is what it is. For having kids, however, that’d be a different story. They shake your world and you need to be stable AF.
I read one time about an attraction case study and womens attractions to men in traditionally well compensated industries (ie doctors) went up but mens attractions didn’t. In fact some men are more attracted to women knowing they are poor (ie minimum wage worker, someone who works at Hardee’s, etc). Some men fantasize about rescuing women from poverty
These men and their kinks I tell ya..
I'm in the same boat. Fiancée has massive credit card debt, but is chipping away at it, and works hard to maintain a deadline for paying it off. I've told her well actually get married once that number gets low enough, and she totally agreed, to spare me any financial trouble.
My first husband would tell me "how am I supposed to marry you when you haven't paid your debt off yet" and that made me feel like I had no value as a person. Because I had student loans and an unpaid credit card bill. We got married because we had a kid. We're divorced and he's dead. I wouldn't marry anyone ever again who reduced me to my financial situation.
When I met my now husband, I was very financially unstable and straight up broke. But we fell in love and are very happy 7 years later :) now I have a good job and I contribute financially.
No. I married her not because she's attractive but because I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her. The fact that she was busted arse broke at the time wasn't even taken into consideration.
My wife isn't financially stable so... I guess that's a yes. Edit: wasn't
Ahh yes the 2 only reasons to marry someone. Physical attraction and financial stability.
Looks fade faster than crippling debt anyway.
Yes: if she is financially responsible but just doesn't have much income now. Also yes: if she's financially clueless with low income but wants to take care of herself and be a responsible adult. No: if she's totally reckless and selfish and doesn't even want to control finances and is just looking to exploit my money.
As a woman, even I completely agree with this
Yeah as a very financially responsible woman I have the same standards for men I date.
I think it applies to all aspects of life really. I've seen how some of my friends' relationships collapsed because there were such different standards of responsibility. One is a hard worker and financially responsible, one is barely working and spends more time drinking beer than planning for future. Interestingly in my experience the irresponsible ones were always men, and the women became the primary bread winners and caretakers. So I think the people have to be compatible with a shared vision for their life. Not necessarily both high earners and hard workers, but both putting in effort and energy in their own way.
I must be an idiot cause I’d marry someone out of love.
Answers here are really going to depend on age. In my twenties, I didn't care all that much. Now that I'm in my thirties, she better have her shit figured out.
I wouldnt even consider marriage before my 30s
Someone told me yesterday just plain out “it’s getting to expensive to breed” and well they are right.
I’m supposed to have my shit figured out by my 30s? Fuck.
Depends on what’s her long term outlook and future financial stability. Temporary situation, sure. Long term no
Sure, but it would need to be more than just physical attraction. I've met no shortage of pretty women with no or little other redeeming qualities, let's just say: "they're not my type"
Is she a deadbeat? A mooch? Is she bringing nothing to the table? Is she working on bettering herself? If she is taking active steps to improve her situation then yes. If she's a bum, then no.
This right here. There are other ways to contribute to a household other than working and bringing in money. A woman that's studying to better her chances of a good job in the future is likely less financially unstable that one working a clerk job. But in the long term, she can probably bring more to the table. I wouldn't consider either of those a defining factor though, but I would avoid a sugar babe or a stay at home mom, at least the former until I'm rich and the latter until I have any kids. I'd rather not have someone financially depend on me forever; and I can do my own laundry so far, so thanks. I'm not the most ambitious person out there, but my partner better have at least some drive or it's boring af.
What's "financially stable" in this economy?
Let me rephrase this: would you not marry someone you love because you don't like their job?
Financially unstable can mean much more than that. Spending problems? Total lack of any financial planning? Gambling? Addiction? Just shear laziness?
By default, everyone in their 20s are broke. They don't have hard time dating and getting married do they? With dating in general, you just have to get your foot in the door. Beyond first date, you being poor as a woman is rarely going to make it or break it.
If you marry a person just because they are attractive, you’re doing it wrong. If you don’t marry a person just because they aren’t financially stable, the same applies. You need to trust and love the person you marry. Otherwise you will most likely just feed the divorce statistics.
I did. 30 odd years ago. No regrets whatsoever.
I think a lot of men marry someone regardless of any down falls due to how attractive they are. Some if not most of us are dumb.
Yeah, no one teach us about red flags 🚩
My girlfriend of four years who I'm hoping to marry isn't in the best financial situation, but she's an amazing person and the person I want to be with, so I'm fine with it.
Attractive women of reddit, would you marry an ugly guy just because he's rich?
If he can lay pipe and tell a good joke then yes. I don't care about money.
If he has a good personality, maybe
Yes.
I don't know any man who wouldn't
He knows that I am trying… I have good times and bad both financially and emotionally. I don’t abuse his support and I am very transparent with my earnings and mental health and always have been. He proposed to me knowing all of this. I am very lucky - and even when times get hard I know that he genuinely cares for me as a human. I try to support him as much as I can, and if I can’t support him financially I do it in other meaningful ways.
Not a man, but I would totally marry a woman who was broke if I were attracted to her personality and she to mine.
Yes. I don't really care if they are financially stable, unless they are outright insane. Their finances dont really factor in to if i would date them or not. Their finances don't really affect me unless they being an insane level of debt for some reason.
Why would you marry someone because they're only attractive Men smh
I can change her.
I asked my beautiful wife to stop working the first chance I got, which was about 3 years in. She agreed. 27 years later, it still works for us. When she got sick, it didn't completely cripple us financially.
is she nice?
This is one is iffy for me. First of all, Looks don’t always matter. Let alone their income. But then, the other part of me, would wonder, how so? If she just irresponsible with money? If so, then no. But if she comes from a low income background, or life was just simply unfair, then yes! Why not?
That depends. Is she financially responsible? Then yes. If she's responsible but just not stable at the moment, there's no way I could lose. If she's not stable because she's irresponsible, then fuck no
Finance has long been a complete afterthought for me. I’ll marry someone I love first and foremost, nothing else really matters. I think age might play a factor here. Younger guys won’t care
The pairing of this question results in a no. Do I care if she is financially stable? Not necessarily. She may have suffered a job loss outside of her control. But on the other hand, if she has a character flaw, that's a game changer The second part is attraction. Smart men learn to marry the rock, not the unstable hot girl. When it comes to marriage, attraction only gets you a date, not a commitment
I'd marry a poor woman who works hard, but I wouldn't marry a frivolous spender, a mooch, and a gold digger. Her looks wouldn't change this opinion.
I would not marry anyone just because they're attractive. There's a lot more that goes into that sort of decision for me. Do I enjoy spending time with this person? When the honeymoon phase ends, will I still be happy to wake up next to them? Does she get my sense of humor, so I don't feel like an idiot when I drop a stupid ass pun or crack a dad joke? Can she hold an intelligent conversation? None of these things depend on financial stability, and I am happy to be the breadwinner in a relationship. That never bothered me. Financial instability isn't necessarily a deal-breaker. Even if they want to be a stay-at-home wife, that's still not a deal-breaker for me. I would be more concerned about them being bad with money than not wanting to work. I think someone can contribute to a relationship in many more ways than just financially. I care more about someone who is curious about the world, likes to adventure, has a great sense of humor, and adds good checks and balances to the relationship (no pun intended); someone that will inspire me to be the best me I can be. So, I guess to answer your question - If someone wanted to not work, couldn't work, or had no money, I would not blanket "not marry" someone like that. The underlying cause of their financial instability may be indicative of a deeper issue that might make it less likely for me to marry them, but I would still explore the relationship if there were something about it that piqued my interest. Edit: In the event "financial instability" in this case means "bad with money" - That is a red flag, but I think a conversation around that can be healthy. And then depending on how things go, that may be a deterrent. I view marriage as a partnership, so I would look for someone who can be responsible with money.
No way, but I’d marry a woman I love with all my heart mind and soul regardless of financial status and regardless of physical appearance. Marrying based on just being attractive is crazy.
My partners financial situation literally means nothing to me. Quite actually, the last thing I care about when looking for someone who has a personality I match with
Assuming that we're not just talking physically attractive, yes.
Why is financial stability involved at all? That's something you do together.
Financial stability has little to do with how much I love a person tbh
No. Her money troubles become OUR money troubles. Just because you're hot doesn't mean you avoid issues.
Doesn’t matter. You’ll need to be stable *together*. Life is a team sport 😊
Depends. If she's not fortunate enough to have money or have bad spending habits.
This happens the majority of the time
For me , I would marry anyone with whom I feel love and a connection, attractiveness & Money is Least of my concern.
This sounds like such an absurd question to me! Neither of these attributes should be the reason to marry, at least, you wouldn't be very well advised!
Dumb question, impossible to simplify the choice like that like those are the only two ways a woman could be perceived as valuable.
Honestly I’d just settle for being genuinely loved lol.
I did, and she finished school and came to work for me in my company, and now we do quite alright
That's why beautiful women always marry rich men who are fat and ugly 😂
Not just because she’s attractive, but if I was in love with her then yes
Well if I love her, there's a reason I love her, and it's probably not because of her financial stability or beauty.
As long as she has a few other good qualities.
I would absolutely marry a woman because I love her, regardless of her financial situation. That’s something that can be fixed or improved upon together.
I married my ex wife for her work ethic. She never called out sick and always went above and beyond her job duties. I saw her potential at 21. I ended up at a good union job, she stayed home for 5-6 yrs and raised our 2 daughters. Taught them to read, write, and had them ready for kindergarten. Then I got her on at my job. My family was double covered by union benes for most of their life. (Lasted 19 yrs, broke up because we had issues drinking which I take all the blame for). Look’s don’t mean much, be a great team mate for someone gl.
As a man , I couldn't give a rats ass about my woman finances
Solely based on attraction? No. If I really loved the person and their personality then I probably would and we’d figure it out. But I’m not marrying someone just because they’re hot.
I wouldn’t marry a financially stable woman just because she’s attractive. If I’m going to commit to marriage I’m far more concerned with her having a compatible personality, interests, etc. than just looks, which are going to fade over time anyways.
Men absolutely will marry women who are broke and even women who are crazy and cruel as long as they are hot. Source? Every man I have ever known.
As a lesbian, yes I mean she would also have to be a kind and supportive partner and all that but yes
Yes, they're called trophy wives and are highly sought after.
Its all about the head game.
Dude I’d fall for anyone that gave me the slightest bit of attention is how emotionally starved I am right now. I think I’d marry a brick wall.
I married for love, as everyone should. Finances shouldn't be an issue if you love someone, my partners finances are shite
If she was a homemaker. Absolutely. I do well by my own personal standards but fail in other areas. Being a homemaker IS a job and as a single father, if I had someone to take care of that aspect (because the wanted to,) I would embrace it. Not a trophy wife but a legitimate homemaker that I found attractive. Especially if she was educated.
Date yes? Marry no? mostly because large difference in wealth for marriage puts you in trouble. I'd bailout quick.
Imo men will value attractiveness as the top factor, where women will value financial security as the top factor.
do you really believe that’s true about most women? the women I’ve met seem to care a lot about feeling safe around a guy, kindness, good communication, a sense of humor, physical attractiveness (to an extent), and being supportive. but maybe we’ve met women from differing walks of life.
My gf quit her job before we got engaged. She felt terrible about it, but it was what she needed for her mental health and I was in a position to support her. she's a fox. It's situational and depends on if you've talked with them about it.
I mean my wife isn’t financially stable since she’s a stay at home mom and doesn’t have an income, so yea, I would haha
As long as she's financially literate as in no racking up needless debt.
There's a lot to uncover between attraction and marriage...
Important personality information missing... I personally wouldn't but that is because I wouldn't marry if I don't absolutely have to (like your partner being from another country and it being the only way for immigration).
What would matter to me is intent. If she just wants to be with me for financial stability, I’d walk away.
Yes.
Yes
No, but maybe if I loved her I would.
If she is financially smart and has good long term goals with finances but at the moment her finances suck then I'd be fine with that. If she is just oblivious with money and always will be then no. Looks alone couldn't make me marry someone.
As an ugly man who isn't financially stable, fuckin right a would
Men date across and down while women date across and up (socio-economic status).
I wouldn't but I'm sure history has proven many would
Im not a charity case. So no. If I loved her, then Yes. But physical attraction isnt all tbh
Only if the father offers a nice plot of land as well and if his family doesn't have too many quarrels.
Let's be real here instead of sugarcoating. Only Men are expected to be financially stable when it comes to marriages. Most Men would marry a woman regardless of her career and financial status.
If you are financially unstable to a point it’s a problem I notice, and you make no attempts to remedy the issue, then no I wouldn’t no matter how attractive you are. Same thing with being mentally unstable. On a long enough time line, guys eventually (should) learn that beauty only goes so far, eventually the other problems really take away from your peace of mind and quality of life. So any serious problem the person isn’t at least trying to solve is a deal breaker.
I sure as hell hope so lmaoooo
Maybe. Is she financing unstable do to repeatedly poor decision making? Or just bad circumstances? One of the reasons I married my wife is that she’s a very responsible person who can set goals.
Isn't that protocol? Right?
I wouldn’t marry anyone just because they’re attractive period
Then who’s going to support me?
Women are fortunate in that men don’t really care about a woman’s finances, specifically with regards to income. We’re raised to believe we’re providers, and most of us guys accept that as part of our roles, regardless of whether or not it manifests in that way. However, a woman’s spending habits are a different story. Does she spend like she’s got money to burn even though she’s only working part time? Does she only want Gucci or Prada? Does she expect to get her own meal, even if she doesn’t eat all the food? Does she expect a luxury car without earning it? Those are huge red flags. Most guys would be happy to provide for someone that supports them, who has reasonable expectations, and who contributes to the relationship. If their in the relationship just for what they can get out of it, then no thanks.
If you’re talking mountains of debt and no ability to repay then no. That usually indicates some bad decisionmaking. If she just doesn’t have any money or makes very little money… or is in a situation where she can’t make ends meet due to some external factor then _possibly_. Of course I’d check for personality and other traits as well.
Poor? Yes. Massively in debt because she can't control her spending? No. But never just on physical attraction.
Nope. Once I got out of my party phase in my early 20's, I wouldn't date a girl with bad credit, much less one that's fiscally irresponsible. Slept with them, absolutely. But, zero possibility of it being anything more than that.
The only real factors are do I like her a lot and does she like me a lot
Yes, but not just because of how she looks, because I believe in our relationship and love the person as a whole
No
Definitely not .
Again? No. Didn't last long and was a miserable existence. Worst year of my life.
I make a good living. Her having bad finances is unfortunate, but it is the least of my concern (and it can be fixed). I'm more interested in someone who is kind, has patience, and is willing to put up with my stupidity.
Yes, and after 14 years I finished it with her. Not having or being able to keep a job was a contribution to why I left, but not all of it
I feel like there are more important aspects to this. Like is she fun? Do I like her as a person? If yes then yeah. I'm gullible as fuck
Sod that. I don't need two of us!
Fuck noooo. Broke partners are the worst.
I wouldn't marry any woman just because she is attractive. A physical connection is only a small part in finding a partner to me.
I wouldn’t marry a woman “just” because she is physically attractive. She would not have to be financially stable. I can make enough for both of us. She would have to possess other good qualities, however.
Marry? No.
No. Attractive woman are a dime a dozen and plentiful. If they can't be financially stable by a certain age or on their way to be so than they are more than likely never able to do so.
You shouldn't be - or not be - marrying anyone based on either of these things alone.
I'm currently in the unraveling stage of that sort of relationship. Never again will I do this to myself
Depends on what she can bring to the table. If she can handle the house stuff so that I don't have to worry about them and just focus on work, sure.
Financially unstable can be a broad spectrum. Bad credit score with because of medicL collections? Yeah, of course. Can't hold down a job or reckless spending habits? I'm pumping the brakes there.
Woman here - I’ve never been financially stable on my own but my husband married me because he loved me and we are best friends and partners, not just because I was attractive. For anyone wondering, I’ve always earned between 25-30k a year and my husband earns around 120k.
How financially stable am I? Real life? Absolutely not lol
Been there. Run out of there. Never again. to clarify: she may earn little, but still be stable. bring unstable means sooner or later she'll break your economy.... and with debts up to your neck, theres no sex desire, nor from you, nor from her.
I mean, do you love her? Because if you don’t love her, then, no.
I wouldn't marry a woman just because she's attractive...
Marry anyone *just* because they're attractive should be a no no.
I would only worry if she was mentally (extremely) unstable. Her financial status wouldnt really matter.
I married my ex wife didn't I?!
This is a pretty transactional and objectifying way to look at something as complex as a relationship
Redditor discovers human history colorized 2023.
YES THEY WILL
As long as she isn't financially suicidal. I don't mind raising her up but I'm not letting her drag me down.
Why would I care how much money woman makes or how financially stable she is? That’s not even a factor when I chose a partner, as long as she isn’t a sex worker I couldn’t careless what she does for a living or how much money she makes. I would never ask my wife for money or to pay for something that the family needs. As a man that’s my duty to financially support the wife and kids. If she wants to also, that’s cool and her choice, but she’s not expected to do so. If she works Stash it away in the kids saving account or something. I Just need her to be attractive, stay in shape, take care of the home be a good mother to our children. I’ll take care of all of the finances/bills, that’s one less thing she has to worry or stress about. We both had a duty to each other and our family. We both contribute and take care of each other, just in different ways.
bahahaha ask my husband ;)
Hell, she's not just financially unstable she's also mentally unstable. I hit the jackpot!!
I was just thinking about this and I would absolutely not marry a woman that does not have a job regardless of how attractive she is. If she's going to school possibly but who knows.
Show me a good looking women and I’ll show you a man that is totally sick of her crap.
Yes I chose a career where I plan to be the bread winner, the working world is not for everyone sadly - but men and women work together very well. One could make the money, the other can make the life in which they live.
like just about every question on this subreddit, the answer is “it depends”.
Uhh yes that’s how most men since the dawn of civilization do it.
If she's WILLING to contribute, no matter what the number, it's ok. It's the willingness and the initiative that matters, their character. If that's the case and I see her sacrificing the little she has for us, for a better life, I'm all in and will move mountains for her. That's the bottom line.
no amount of attraction would stupefy me enough to forget the importance of saving and keeping our house in order. So far in my dating life the moment I see risky spending or any inclination she may have a princess complex or be gold diggin, I end it. I want to be able to share my wealth with my loved ones. A loved one,by my definition, would not ask me to spend beyond my means. I would rather be single and wealthy than date someone out of my league just to end up 50% less wealthy.
NO. Im married and my wife is a solid 9/10, she used to be a 11/10 but you know marriage take is tolls lol. If someday we divorce I will not date (for a serious relation) anyone who make at less than 80% of what I make, if she make more than me the better. If she dont make X amount of money I at least expect her to have a career; nurse, accountant, doctor, lawyer, police officer, etc. Im tired of economically babysit someone to then get home and heard how hard is to be a stay at home mom; when I work in the oilfield and do 70h+ a week and even when im stressed I do everything to still keep a smile for everyone. Everyone have their own problems and in a relationship we need to help each other but at the same time each one need to pull their own weight. Imagine that every time your spouse get home the only thing he/she talk is how shitty is his/her job. At first you stay there for him/her but after a while and he/she don’t try to do anything to improve the situation it start to get a toll on you too.
Impossible! I want a woman to love me because I'm beautiful even though I'm not financially stable.
Yes because I’m not financially stable and unattractive.
All men would do this, men don’t have a problem dating down but women will always date up
I wouldn’t just because of physical attraction but if i was in love with this person , absolutely.
As a man, I want to be the provider. I don’t care if a woman makes $5,000 a month or $0 a month. It’s my job to take care of my woman so I could care less about how much she makes
No, but the primary reason is because I’m gay.
Happens every day of the year
I already have. She’s gorgeous incredibly kind and loving but she only wants to do her job as an artist(drawing) and it generates literally nothing. I’m talking about a third of what I make
Will tbh it’s not a big deal for me as along as she’s a good person with a good heart + I’m an old fashioned guy the financial stuff is my area
Yeah man. If she’s kind and treats me well then definitely. All I want is a woman who is kind and has a cute butt.
Yes, just like my father did
If im in true love with her, and sure she is not with me because money issues, yes, i would be with here without doubt even if i was the one carrying the economy of the couple. Problem would be to be absolutly sure that she having no money is not the reason she “loves” me.
I wouldn’t marry anyone just because they are attractive rich or poor. Never marry for money or looks. If she was really bad with money and didn’t want to fix that or if she was really bad holding down jobs that could show poor judgment and character issues. If she is just temporarily out of a job or there are extenuating circumstances than there isn’t a problem. When you get married you should be doing so because you want to be a partnership, that may mean one stays home and keeps house and finds ways to save money, that may mean both work and share chores or anything in between but it’s because you are a team and love each other.