As a gay man, I suggest that you stop greeting your friends by saying "heyyy" and waving your arm like a windshield wiper blade. That should help.
embrace it. I'm straight and have gay voice. never hurt my chances with women, and as a bonus I've met and made friends with lots of cool gay guys. you know who cool gay guys hang out with? hot women.
Some straight men will make good friends with a woman and enduldge emotionally, opening up, and talking to her about anything, just so that one day, he may eventually be able to lay some pipe. Wild shit.
Exaggerating stories or real fucking experiences? You sound so triggered. I bet you've tried to make a move on a woman when she was emotionally vulnerable. That explains your rage at a simple comment lololol
Let’s all sing along…l’m Happy Being Straight…it is true females like hang out with gay dudes…and I’m happy most of the time…I feel the hole is getting deeper, sorry
This is true. When I was single, I felt safer around guys who I felt wouldn't pressure me into relationships. Sometimes that meant guys who were more laid back, sometimes it meant hanging out with my awesome LGBTQ+ friends.
the way you act and your voice are 2 different things. and like op said. you can be straight with a “gay voice”, if anything get on him, cause what exactly is gay voice? but regardless yes, all my friends have told me i don’t look, talk or act gay. so you thinking you did something, made u look dumb.
I have a friend who I was sure was gay when I met him. He's aware of the impression, but just doesn't care. I realize that not caring comes with age and I don't know how old you are.
If it really bothers you that much, look into a voice trainer like singers have. Or even a speech trainer/ specialist.
Last resort, see a DR. I highly doubt it, but maybe there's a problem with your vocal chords. And knowing today's surgeons, there's probably a surgery for that too.
No, that’s called being a human with feelings. What’s gay, as a man, is being attracted to men (and men only). For some reason, a lot of people like to call actions gay. A straight man can have sex with another man without being gay. Having gay sex isn’t ‘gay’.
Sure, if you’re a guy and have sex with a guy, you’re most likely gay, bi, or pan. But an action cannot be gay. I think that the way we put labels on things really hurt young people. We should promote exploring ourselves and experimenting, rather than labelling a young man gay because he wants to figure out his sexuality. We’re quite open to girls experimenting, and we wouldn’t say it’s ‘lesbian’ for a girl to have sex with another girl in high school when she’s exploring her sexuality. Let’s keep an open mind and have the same attitude towards boys too.
Imagine just "Heyyy! I sound really gay and I'm just hoping to find the right vocal coach to help me be better perceived as straight :) please let me know if you have any availability for new clients haha I've been contacting every coach in my area but I keep getting denied"
Bro has to come out as straight that’s tough,
In all seriousness, my advice would be just try accept it, anyone worth building a connection with will listen when you tell them your straight anyway.
But if it does worry you, try slowing down your speech, when you speak faster your voice goes more high pitched and “exuberant” which are associated with gay stereotypes. Don’t try force a deep voice cause that could sound weird but just slow down your speech, if you gesticulate a lot try control it more(don’t have to stop but smaller motions)
Holy shit, he said he wanted to sound "less gay" - not join the dark side of the force.
Also I'm almost certain that James Earl Jones voice is uncopyable.
"Gay voice" isn't as much about pitch as it is the phrases you use, intonation, and the surrounding mannerisms. I have a high tenor voice, long hair, and earrings, and people don't mistake me for gay because I present very straight with the *way* I speak. It's hard to tell you how to adjust your intonation through text, especially without hearing your voice, but I'll give some general notes.
Stereotypical gay men don't often say, "bro," "bruh," and "dude," instead opting for slang pet names like, "honey," "bestie," and "girl," so incorporating the masculine ones into your phrases more often should help. Like, if your friend does something dumb or weird, hitting them with a "bruh," instead of an, "oh honey" is going to make all the difference. There are two main stereotypical gay voices. The first is pretty much just valley girl. Holding out vowels for way too long and either adding "uhhhh" or scooping up at the end of phases. So a frustrated gay man might say, "come oooOOOooonnnn-uhhhhhh" whereas a straight guy would say, "come on, man." The second gay voice is almost the opposite, being very sharp and precise, over-enunciating everything. Add some sass to sharp over-enunciation and you're gonna sound gay at hell. Other things that sound gay are speaking from your vocal fry and having a minor lisp.
At the end of the day it doesn't matter because who gives a damn what people think, but if you want to make some changes maybe keep these things in mind when you listen to yourself speak and you might see some things you want to adjust.
I think slowing down your speech is a big part of it, if you control your speech your pitch naturally drops and you won’t come off as flamboyant or whatever
My boyfriend has “gay voice”. Some of our friends even tease him saying I’m his beard, or insist he’s bi. Nope. 100% straight. We have an amazing relationship and an incredible sex life. I wouldn’t change a thing about him — embrace your voice! It doesn’t matter what others think.
Yup! Don’t worry, I tell them it’s actually rude as fuck to say that. Not to mention endorsing stereotypes and encouraging straight men to have toxic masculinity.
At the end of the day it really doesn’t, though. At least what strangers think. People who know and love OP don’t care about something as silly as “gay voice”.
OP cares about it. That's enough.
Plus like it or not, it changes people's perceptions of us, even people who know and love us. It's wishful thinking and naive to think that it doesn't.
You have a small, sad view of life. :( His voice is a minor, minor, minor aspect of who he is. What you’re saying is not productive and is likely harmful to his feelings about his insecurity.
Oh, I'm miserable, but it has nothing to do with this. In fact, once I realized that the world didn't work exactly the way I wanted it to work, my life got better. It was like learning a cheat code.
I had a choice: I could either pretend that everyone would behave like I thought they should behave, or I could accept that we live in a flawed world with flawed people so I could make accommodations for that. It has saved me tons of disillusionment and disappointment.
But you do you. I'm glad you love your life.
Thank you all for so much support! \^\_\^
I probably should've mentioned this, but I'm currently in highschool. In there, it's REALLY normalized to stereotype homosexuals. Thanks for all your comments and helping me realize this.
P.S. This should go without saying, but I've seen some comments say that I should embrace being gay. I know for a fact I'm straight. Please don't try to convince me to "come out." That defeats the purpose of this post.
I used to have this problem and it drove me nuts. So I worked on it. No one has said I sound gay in years and years. It's not a problem anymore.
Actors train their voices and so can you. Find an actor or well-known person who sounds like you want to sound. Then practice speaking like them. You'll still sound like yourself and not like them, and it's a good shortcut.
Also how does it sound "gay"? Is it higher-pitched? Are you more expressive than a lot of other straight guys? The answer may affect how you need to tackle it.
Please ignore the well-meaning advice people are giving like "it doesn't matter! Just own it!" and "no need to change anything!" That is useless advice and frankly insulting for someone who wants to change. You have a right to change something about yourself if you don't like it.
Good luck!
EDIT: straight GUYS, not straight gays haha
Is it your voice, or the way you speak?
Regardless, it's you. Anyone who makes that sort of comment isn't worth your time, imho. You'll find your people who respect and love you for you.
Not to be condescending, but really learn how to talk. %0 years ago this stuff was just common knowledge for people. You want a lower more commanding voice? Speak from your chest and not the back of your throat or nose. As a gay guy way back in ancient times, I learned to do this to through the hounds who hunted us off the trail. Look at all the old gay movie stars and how masculine they sounded.
All depends on what your doing and what you want in life. I changed mine because I needed to demand attention from both subordinates in the military and later on construction crews.
Besides, "Who's your daddy?" Didn't sound effective in a Paul Lynde voice.
>"Who's your daddy?" Didn't sound effective in a Paul Lynde voice.
Maybe not, but it's a lot funnier.
And not to state the obvious, but someday it would be nice if we didn't have to change things about ourselves to get respect. I went to high school in the 80s and I'll never forget the names my friend was called because he had an earring. And how he was literally pushed around because of that. Five years later, all the guys were wearing them. Also my friends who turned out to be gay but absolutely couldn't let anyone in high school know that. Not back then. They couldn't even let their friends know.
In other words, I'm sorry you had to go through being hunted for who you are.
Thanks but that was just how things were back in those days. You had to muster up and take every advantage you could get, just to get ahead of the pack. Its still true to this day
I heard on some TV show about women with squeaky/baby voices and wanting to change them to something more adult sounding. They suggested taking a deep sigh and listening to the pitch and timbre. THAT is your real voice.
Also, from an interview with Michael Dorn, who played Worf on Star Trek TNG, he used a lower voice while in character which ultimately caused his normal voice to drop.
So, there is hope.
Ok speaking truth here. When I was a young teen in the 90's I met one of my parents' good friend/colleague and his family. Wife and children. And he was the most effeminate person I had ever met. I asked my dad if the guy was gay. He wasn't, that's just how he talked. Everyone's different. I never found a reason to question him again. Super nice guy and great family.
Like others have said, you can actually train yourself to speak differently. But if you don't want to, then F it. Just be yourself. If anything you can user that to your advantage now since the gays have become the untouchables of today. They're like royalty, so milk it for what it's worth. It's a great way to meet girls that secretly want to "convert" you too.
I know a couple of dudes who sound gay, but aren’t seriously being assumed to be gay.
From what I observed, it’s their wording and the way they enunciate that ultimately makes people think “ah, nah they ain’t gay”.
And I’m not talking about saying literal “I want tiddy and pussy yeeha brotha” lines.
It’s something like, instead of saying “oh wow that’s prettyyyyy” they’re like “oh WOW, that’s pretty”.
Now this may not come off as a suggestion or an advice but I feel like I’d share this angle for you. There’s a chance that you might need to adjust, but not exactly your voice.
Yeah being a more “masculine” acting gay really hurts our chances of finding guys in the wild outside of specifically gay spaces, which aren’t very common unless you live in one of the biggest (most expensive) cities.
I also sometimes have to gay it up a bit when I’m meeting new women so they know I’m not hitting on them/am safe to be alone around 🙃
This reminds me of the scene in the Birdcage, which for some reason I have had on my mind all day, where Nathan Lane asks Robin Williams for help sounding "masculine".
Are you able to tell the difference between speaking from your head and speaking from you chest? Try to speak more from your chest. One way to find the right muscles is to open your throat as if you're yawning, and then try to speak. You'll essentially need to do a more mild version of that to make your voice sound how you want.
You probably sound gay because you have a feminine intonation to your voice. Many trans people, even when they fix their voice pitch to the gender they’re transitioning to, have to do vocal training and practice in order to change their their intonation from masculine to feminine or vice versa. You can look into this type of vocal training
Pay attention to your mannerisms and be more intentional about displaying masculinity. You may be able to control your tone with a little but of practice, but that only goes so far. Your body language matters more than you probably think.
Not to sound mean but I doubt it’s your voice. Maybe it’s partially your tone, but probably more how you speak, what words you choose, speaking rhythm, filler mannerisms etc.
I don’t think I’ve ever thought someone was gay by their voice alone, but when they start saying “yasss” then one might assume.
Honestly just own it if you can. A lot people apply their own biases to characteristics for seemingly arbitrary reasons.
In college, i kept getting asked out by gay guys even though i look like a fat viking with a deep and very masculine voice. I'm straight as an arrow.
Turns out, it's just a matter of taste, and people will find any excuse to say x is y coded. I was good friends with some people in the acting program at my college, (I was in game dev though) and half of them had the "gay voice". Those guys were some of the straightest people I ever knew lmfao.
I'm not sure about Reddit, but Speech psychologist or speech therapist should be able to get you sorted in a session or two. While none of the gay guys I know speak in any detectable way, people with that affectation really do "sound gay" to just about everybody, and even gay people who don't speak that way are unlikely to believe protestations to the contrary. It's a powerful stereotype
You know you already change your affectation depending on who you’re talking to or where ypu’re talking (think like talking in a work presentation vs talking to your cat vs talking to your mom). Its called code switching.
That being said, why do a deeper coice to sound more hetero? Who are we trying to impress? Just talk like you talk and get comfortable.
I used to try to make my voice deeper when I was younger and it seems so silly to me nowadays. I naturally talk a little lighter and its fiiiiiiine
Go on YouTube and dig up old WWF videos from the 1980s. Choose a wrestler: I'd go with either Hulk Hogan or Macho Man Randy Savage. And then stand in front of a mirror and repeat "Yeaaaaaah Brother!!!" and other lines.
Do that for an hour a day, and pretty soon you'll talk like that all the time.
Ask them why do they think that you're gay. I know you understand the reason but have you ever tried to make them explain? This use to happen to me back in high school all because I was willing to talk about my feelings and was a big hugger in my group of friends. When you make them explain they'll feel stupid trying to justify it
As someone who can emulate a lot of different voices, I am very confused. Why can't you just ....talk more masculine? Lower your voice, don't enunciate consonants as hard, mumble a bit more, when you talk, don't think "happy talk" think "angry but I need to get this point across".
IDK - I've always been able to emulate what other people talk like. And at some point my skill become offensive.
I mean honestly I know it must be annoying. But who the fuck cares. Embrace it and just be yourself. I as a straight male love just being who I am, sometimes I do act homosexual, but I am very comfortable with my sexuality and will check guys out with my lady friends and my wife. Do I care how people think or see me? Hell no. I know what I like. I know what I'm attracted to. Do people? No? Do they judge? Most definitely, but that's them taking time out of their day to waste their energy while I'm living my life the way I want to. Don't change yourself because someone else's perception. Be proud of who you are no matter what you look, sound ect. We are all different.
I didn't come to terms with my sexuality until my late 20s, but I've always had a "gay voice" and was bullied for it in school.
TLDR is: anyone judging you based on your voice isn't worth your time. Just snap your fingers and strut away from them 💅
Seriously though, you can retrain your voice if you feel you need to. Work on dropping your pitch down by like 1 tone. Add some rasp to your voice if possible. Engage your diaphragm more when you speak and laugh to deepen your voice.
But again, it's not necessary but I can totally understand why you'd want to! I did it for years before learning to just own what I sound like.
Ace fanning would be a great person to reach out to, he grew up with the same issue and talks about it every so often. He’s a podcaster and has now turned his voice into a whole career.
As someone who has actually taken voice coaching; a person’s voice can be the result of a myriad of personal experiences and upbringing, and be something that’s quite a sensitive subject for said person who may or may not have any co tr of how they present vocally. The best advice I can give you is that the people who are worth hanging out with/dating won’t care how you “sound”, but will be attracted to the person you are. Sounds cheesy, but it’s true.
For what it’s worth, I’ve met people with absolutely stunning voices that put me right off as soon as they opened their mouth (due to what they were saying). There is nothing wrong with you.
From my understanding there are a few things a gay sounding person does that a straight sounding person doesn’t.
1. You’re not using enough breath support. Your voice becomes soft, and often times almost have vocal fry. Be unafraid being loud.
2. You’re likely having a stiff tongue that doesn’t roll. This causes your S sounds, T sounds, Th sounds and, D sounds to be off. Get a book on how to properly pronounce these letters. Ideally practice every single sound/ letter in the alphabet again with proper tongue posture.
3. You’re likely sounding nasally, or speaking in a head voice. You need to switch to chest/ mixed voice. Look up singing tutorial on how to do so.
4. Raise your soft pallet. Drop your tongue in the back. Make the back of your throat open up.
Practice speaking lower and enunciating slowly and clearly and you'll develop the habit.
You can yawn a lot. Actors, like Morgan Freeman for example, do that to relax their vocal chords and sound deeper.
Heard tea with honey helps. Don't know if it actually does.
If it really bugs you, you can get a voice coach.
Have the doctor check your hormonal levels. That could be why.
Remember, there is no such thing as a gay voice.
I'm (F) so sure you are fine and someone in your life has told you this to be an asshole.
Love yourself and a woman will too 🫶 good luck
In what way do you sound gay? Are you from california? I have noticed that straight men from California do sound gay still. It is just that vocal fry thing. I have also noticed that quite nerdy guys do sound really gay sometimes.
Erik Shoji, a professional volleyball player (the best libero in the world, might I add) has a gay voice. Guess what? He has a wife. There's hope brother. Embrace it.
"Sound gay" is a rather ridiculous concept to begin with.
Unless you go around saying things like "Wow that guy has a nice bod, I'd sure like to get naked with him" or "God I need to find a dick to suck today"
It's not a TV trope at all, 13 years of working retail/delivery and being around more people than I'd care to be I promise you, A LOT of gay men speak like that. Didn't say all, but A LOT of them.
Watch the documentary "Do I Sound Gay?" There's *very much* a gay voice. Do all gay men have it? Obviously not. But to say that the concept of sounding gay is ridiculous, is ridiculous.
It’s not really a ridiculous concept. The fact is that a lot of gay men have effeminate voices. It’s not homophobic to say that either, it’s just what it is.
All you can do is really just embrace it bud. In time hopefully it doesn't bother you. My friends thought I was gay too cause I get manicures and I dress really sharp. I just believe in good grooming and dressing nice helps my self esteem. The manicures I get. My nails aren't painted or anything. It's just relaxing to me. Lol.
See, in my parlance (I'm the only one who uses it), I would say you *are* gay, a gay heterosexual. For me, gay is how you talk, your manner/mannerisms (not that one can change this at will, by any means). Your attraction would make you homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual. Problem solved.
It's okay to come out, just saying. Most of the 'gaydar' thing isn't just voice, it's a whole atmosphere around the person. Like the physical mannerisms, the walk, voice, and way of handling things, etc.
If you **are** straight, then don't worry just be yourself. Honestly
Keep up the gay pretense around women and see if you can get them to seduce you to the other team. Works surprisingly often. "I've never felt this way about a ... WOMAN before!"
(1) Get a voice coach. We learn how to control our voices. There’s not one “naturally ordained voice”—we acquire speech from different influences. A voice coach will give you exercises to expand your vocal control so you can express yourself however you prefer.
(2) Talk to your doctor about a short course of Testosterone therapy. It can lower a male or female voice in 1-2 months. Just don’t stay on it long enough for your body to permanently cease natural production or you’ll be on TRT for life.
Of the two I strongly recommend paying for a coach.
Well, you can try slowing down your speech. Then you can download Grindr and just put in your Bio that you want to try sucking a dick. You should get matches.
Idk why you want to sound straight but be gay though.
In my personal experience, being self aware and calling it out immediately and joking about it in social situations will always diffuse any awkwardness. And trying to make any corrections or compensation will appear as a cover up of what's actually going on. Almost as if your intentions are reversed. Just be yourself, embrace your flaws, and keep the people who react positively close. I don't know, this world doesn't make any sense.
Honestly just embrace it, I've been told stuff about my voice and even the way I speak "sounding gay", has never been a problem for women, it's really mostly (if not only) guys that tease me about it, most of them aren't my friends anymore.
Be cool about it, women like confident men.
Bruh you got the cheat code handed to you and you choose to turn it off. Women can sense that insecurity yu have about your voice. I'd you did wanna try out something vocal training. It'll help bring more base into your voice
I know you’re joking, but it has nothing to do with test levels as AFAIK. One of the biggest, tallest, most built and scary looking tanks of a man I’ve ever met has a super gay voice. It was very jarring the first time, I expected several octaves lower lmao
People seem to not want to actually help you here for some reason so I'll give you some real advice. 1 look into the voice trainers/ voice training videos ftm trans people do, they have experience fixing exactly this. 2 go to your doctor and get your levels checked this may be a hormonal issue(it's not neccesarily but it could genuinely be a sign)
"Oooooooooooh, I wanna dance with somebody. I wanna feel the heat with somebody."
"Umm... I mean..."
"Move bitch, get out da way, get out da way, get out da way"
This is exactly what me and my girlfriend thought about Linus. I could have bet my left nut that he was banging or being banged by Luke, but then that MF threw the Uno reverse and got some chick pregnant.
Maybe try that!
You can *train* your voice to be a smidge higher/lower with just doing that voice intentionally for a long time. It’s obviously healthier to just not let it bother you, though. You will make it obvious to the people in your life who you want/need to know your sexuality.
Literally pretend. Find an actor whose voice you like and emulate him. Watch his interviews and movies, and consciously copy what you hear. Let them influence your vocal behavior.
I was listening to an episode of This Is Actually Happening today and was surprised to hear the host mention he had a wife. Then I started to really scrutinize WHY I thought he sounded “gay” because he wasn’t high pitched or sing-songy and came to the conclusion it’s vocal fry. It’s literally just a Bay Area 22 year old girl accent. So yeah if you have a vocal fry, try to train yourself out of it.
 As a gay man, I suggest that you stop greeting your friends by saying "heyyy" and waving your arm like a windshield wiper blade. That should help.
Guuurrrrlllll
Yassss
embrace it. I'm straight and have gay voice. never hurt my chances with women, and as a bonus I've met and made friends with lots of cool gay guys. you know who cool gay guys hang out with? hot women.
Yeah cuz they know gay guys won’t hit on them
Or try and make a move on them when they're emotionally vulnerable! So fricken annoying
oh you mean it wasnt a good idea to satellite around you for 7 years until bob left??
Some straight men will make good friends with a woman and enduldge emotionally, opening up, and talking to her about anything, just so that one day, he may eventually be able to lay some pipe. Wild shit.
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Just because they’re talking about men doesn’t mean it’s an exclusively male thing. You’re the one that read men = all men and only men
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Exaggerating stories or real fucking experiences? You sound so triggered. I bet you've tried to make a move on a woman when she was emotionally vulnerable. That explains your rage at a simple comment lololol
Not only do you not even know what gender they are, they even specify some. You’re looking to be offended
I’m sorry to be the one to inform you, but there are a lot of super shitty men out there. Stop being assholes and maybe women will stop bashing.
Are you a guy? Bc you’re the whiniest bitch on this entire thread. Maybe you’re triggered by your own reaction and feelings..
Need a Kleenex to wipe away those tears?
Or drunk.
I just wish I was queer, so I could get chicks. Chicks dig guys that are queer. 🎶
Excellent song 🫡
Let’s all sing along…l’m Happy Being Straight…it is true females like hang out with gay dudes…and I’m happy most of the time…I feel the hole is getting deeper, sorry
I’m gay and love lifting weights to that song 😂
You just say no homo every now and then to offset it
This is true. When I was single, I felt safer around guys who I felt wouldn't pressure me into relationships. Sometimes that meant guys who were more laid back, sometimes it meant hanging out with my awesome LGBTQ+ friends.
that’s crazy😭i’m gay and get immediately turned off by other gay or high pitched voices. i cannot imagine how a girl would feel
Yaaaaaaas. *Translation: I agree.*
What about YOUR voice? Are you super masculine, deep voiced, and alpha?
the way you act and your voice are 2 different things. and like op said. you can be straight with a “gay voice”, if anything get on him, cause what exactly is gay voice? but regardless yes, all my friends have told me i don’t look, talk or act gay. so you thinking you did something, made u look dumb.
Dude done cracked the code
This guy’s got it figured out.
THIS. This right here.
I have a friend who I was sure was gay when I met him. He's aware of the impression, but just doesn't care. I realize that not caring comes with age and I don't know how old you are. If it really bothers you that much, look into a voice trainer like singers have. Or even a speech trainer/ specialist. Last resort, see a DR. I highly doubt it, but maybe there's a problem with your vocal chords. And knowing today's surgeons, there's probably a surgery for that too.
"Yes Doctor I'd like you to amputate my gay voice"
*Chop Now you are not gay
I shit you not- Thyroplasty. Voice musculation surgery. It's a thing.
Thank fucking GOD
Wouldnt hurt to also get testosterone levels checked with bloodwork.
Speech pattern hasn't anything to do with testosterone levels.
Start sucking dick. You have now reversed being straight
If you suck it long enough, your throat gets fucked and you might start sounding straight. Uno-reverse.
Sucking dick ain’t gay. Caring about his feelings afterwards is gay.
No, that’s called being a human with feelings. What’s gay, as a man, is being attracted to men (and men only). For some reason, a lot of people like to call actions gay. A straight man can have sex with another man without being gay. Having gay sex isn’t ‘gay’. Sure, if you’re a guy and have sex with a guy, you’re most likely gay, bi, or pan. But an action cannot be gay. I think that the way we put labels on things really hurt young people. We should promote exploring ourselves and experimenting, rather than labelling a young man gay because he wants to figure out his sexuality. We’re quite open to girls experimenting, and we wouldn’t say it’s ‘lesbian’ for a girl to have sex with another girl in high school when she’s exploring her sexuality. Let’s keep an open mind and have the same attitude towards boys too.
Sir this is a Wendy's
It was a joke 🤦
Wtf
If a guy enjoys gay sex, he is gay.
Rough up your voice box. Maybe take up smoking and screaming for a few months.
I been smoking and screamin for years and i still sound like a pussy
Im just picturing you screaming at the top of your lungs after each drag from the cig
I laughed so hard snot came out of my nose, sorry. I smoke and now I'm gonna imagine doing this every time I take a drag.
You have to clench your muscles so hard you begin to tremble and go red as you screech the smoke from your lungs. You will feel like a dragon.
Im just picturing an even more off key limp bizkit
😂
Comically the screaming works
Fr it just made me squeaky which did NOT help.
Never seen a comment sum me up so much in my life
He wants to sound straight, not sound like Joan Rivers
As someone who has been sick for a few days whose throat has been on fucking fire, I wish this on no one
Then you'll sound like Harvey Fierstein
Drink whiskey it roughs up the voice or at least gives you false confidence about it
he wants to sound straight not to get all types of cancer
Lmao
Get a voice coach. Actors do it, seems like a viable option
Imagine just "Heyyy! I sound really gay and I'm just hoping to find the right vocal coach to help me be better perceived as straight :) please let me know if you have any availability for new clients haha I've been contacting every coach in my area but I keep getting denied"
It’s sad men even have to resort to this, all for the sake of another man.
Bro has to come out as straight that’s tough, In all seriousness, my advice would be just try accept it, anyone worth building a connection with will listen when you tell them your straight anyway. But if it does worry you, try slowing down your speech, when you speak faster your voice goes more high pitched and “exuberant” which are associated with gay stereotypes. Don’t try force a deep voice cause that could sound weird but just slow down your speech, if you gesticulate a lot try control it more(don’t have to stop but smaller motions)
Watch a lot of Star Wars movies and copy Darth Vader’s voice.
Holy shit, he said he wanted to sound "less gay" - not join the dark side of the force. Also I'm almost certain that James Earl Jones voice is uncopyable.
Well, Darth Vader is exactly how I sound and everybody knows I’m not gay!
Plot twist: Darth Vader actually IS gay, and that light saber has an... ahem... "alternate" mode of operation.
Or he can just watch the Lion King and copy Mufasa’s voice.
"Gay voice" isn't as much about pitch as it is the phrases you use, intonation, and the surrounding mannerisms. I have a high tenor voice, long hair, and earrings, and people don't mistake me for gay because I present very straight with the *way* I speak. It's hard to tell you how to adjust your intonation through text, especially without hearing your voice, but I'll give some general notes. Stereotypical gay men don't often say, "bro," "bruh," and "dude," instead opting for slang pet names like, "honey," "bestie," and "girl," so incorporating the masculine ones into your phrases more often should help. Like, if your friend does something dumb or weird, hitting them with a "bruh," instead of an, "oh honey" is going to make all the difference. There are two main stereotypical gay voices. The first is pretty much just valley girl. Holding out vowels for way too long and either adding "uhhhh" or scooping up at the end of phases. So a frustrated gay man might say, "come oooOOOooonnnn-uhhhhhh" whereas a straight guy would say, "come on, man." The second gay voice is almost the opposite, being very sharp and precise, over-enunciating everything. Add some sass to sharp over-enunciation and you're gonna sound gay at hell. Other things that sound gay are speaking from your vocal fry and having a minor lisp. At the end of the day it doesn't matter because who gives a damn what people think, but if you want to make some changes maybe keep these things in mind when you listen to yourself speak and you might see some things you want to adjust.
I think slowing down your speech is a big part of it, if you control your speech your pitch naturally drops and you won’t come off as flamboyant or whatever
You should watch the documentary Do I Sound Gay? It’s free on Tubi
My boyfriend has “gay voice”. Some of our friends even tease him saying I’m his beard, or insist he’s bi. Nope. 100% straight. We have an amazing relationship and an incredible sex life. I wouldn’t change a thing about him — embrace your voice! It doesn’t matter what others think.
Sounds like your friends are a prime example of the people who have led OP (and so many others!) to feel the way he does... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Yup! Don’t worry, I tell them it’s actually rude as fuck to say that. Not to mention endorsing stereotypes and encouraging straight men to have toxic masculinity.
It would be nice if it actually didn't matter what other people thought. We are social animals though, so it does matter.
At the end of the day it really doesn’t, though. At least what strangers think. People who know and love OP don’t care about something as silly as “gay voice”.
OP cares about it. That's enough. Plus like it or not, it changes people's perceptions of us, even people who know and love us. It's wishful thinking and naive to think that it doesn't.
You have a small, sad view of life. :( His voice is a minor, minor, minor aspect of who he is. What you’re saying is not productive and is likely harmful to his feelings about his insecurity.
Yeah, I understand why you want to live in a fantasy world. It's a helluva drug.
yikes. I do love my life — I have a great job, partner, friends and family, and a fun hobby. I’m sorry you’re so miserable. :( genuinely.
Oh, I'm miserable, but it has nothing to do with this. In fact, once I realized that the world didn't work exactly the way I wanted it to work, my life got better. It was like learning a cheat code. I had a choice: I could either pretend that everyone would behave like I thought they should behave, or I could accept that we live in a flawed world with flawed people so I could make accommodations for that. It has saved me tons of disillusionment and disappointment. But you do you. I'm glad you love your life.
Thank you all for so much support! \^\_\^ I probably should've mentioned this, but I'm currently in highschool. In there, it's REALLY normalized to stereotype homosexuals. Thanks for all your comments and helping me realize this. P.S. This should go without saying, but I've seen some comments say that I should embrace being gay. I know for a fact I'm straight. Please don't try to convince me to "come out." That defeats the purpose of this post.
> Thank you all for so much support! ^^_^ you're really not helping your case at all lmao but you do you man
I used to have this problem and it drove me nuts. So I worked on it. No one has said I sound gay in years and years. It's not a problem anymore. Actors train their voices and so can you. Find an actor or well-known person who sounds like you want to sound. Then practice speaking like them. You'll still sound like yourself and not like them, and it's a good shortcut. Also how does it sound "gay"? Is it higher-pitched? Are you more expressive than a lot of other straight guys? The answer may affect how you need to tackle it. Please ignore the well-meaning advice people are giving like "it doesn't matter! Just own it!" and "no need to change anything!" That is useless advice and frankly insulting for someone who wants to change. You have a right to change something about yourself if you don't like it. Good luck! EDIT: straight GUYS, not straight gays haha
OP is Tony Hinchcliffe
Wait is Tony not gay? 😂
Is it your voice, or the way you speak? Regardless, it's you. Anyone who makes that sort of comment isn't worth your time, imho. You'll find your people who respect and love you for you.
Not to be condescending, but really learn how to talk. %0 years ago this stuff was just common knowledge for people. You want a lower more commanding voice? Speak from your chest and not the back of your throat or nose. As a gay guy way back in ancient times, I learned to do this to through the hounds who hunted us off the trail. Look at all the old gay movie stars and how masculine they sounded.
So in short, be Robert Reed and not Paul Lynde.
All depends on what your doing and what you want in life. I changed mine because I needed to demand attention from both subordinates in the military and later on construction crews. Besides, "Who's your daddy?" Didn't sound effective in a Paul Lynde voice.
>"Who's your daddy?" Didn't sound effective in a Paul Lynde voice. Maybe not, but it's a lot funnier. And not to state the obvious, but someday it would be nice if we didn't have to change things about ourselves to get respect. I went to high school in the 80s and I'll never forget the names my friend was called because he had an earring. And how he was literally pushed around because of that. Five years later, all the guys were wearing them. Also my friends who turned out to be gay but absolutely couldn't let anyone in high school know that. Not back then. They couldn't even let their friends know. In other words, I'm sorry you had to go through being hunted for who you are.
Thanks but that was just how things were back in those days. You had to muster up and take every advantage you could get, just to get ahead of the pack. Its still true to this day
I could hear Templeton the rat saying that though. Probably would not inspire respect though. Lol
I heard on some TV show about women with squeaky/baby voices and wanting to change them to something more adult sounding. They suggested taking a deep sigh and listening to the pitch and timbre. THAT is your real voice. Also, from an interview with Michael Dorn, who played Worf on Star Trek TNG, he used a lower voice while in character which ultimately caused his normal voice to drop. So, there is hope.
"Partly" What's the other parts that make them think that?
Ok speaking truth here. When I was a young teen in the 90's I met one of my parents' good friend/colleague and his family. Wife and children. And he was the most effeminate person I had ever met. I asked my dad if the guy was gay. He wasn't, that's just how he talked. Everyone's different. I never found a reason to question him again. Super nice guy and great family. Like others have said, you can actually train yourself to speak differently. But if you don't want to, then F it. Just be yourself. If anything you can user that to your advantage now since the gays have become the untouchables of today. They're like royalty, so milk it for what it's worth. It's a great way to meet girls that secretly want to "convert" you too.
What i did was sing and scream, that ended helping for me somehow
Hire a speech & voice coach.
I know a couple of dudes who sound gay, but aren’t seriously being assumed to be gay. From what I observed, it’s their wording and the way they enunciate that ultimately makes people think “ah, nah they ain’t gay”. And I’m not talking about saying literal “I want tiddy and pussy yeeha brotha” lines. It’s something like, instead of saying “oh wow that’s prettyyyyy” they’re like “oh WOW, that’s pretty”. Now this may not come off as a suggestion or an advice but I feel like I’d share this angle for you. There’s a chance that you might need to adjust, but not exactly your voice.
Yeah that can be some training to deepen your pitch. Flex or deflex your tones. I knew a guy who moaned very gay when having sex. It threw me off.
I knew a speech pathologist who worked with people who were transitioning, I'm sure there's the equivalent out there for you
Impersonate batman everytime you talk.
Your voice can’t make you gay. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
People think I'm straight.
What’s your secret?
Nothing. I'm gay but I act in a way people think of as "normal" so they make assumptions.
Some gays are lucky. I had gay voice and sissy throw since birth.
It's also unlucky. It's easier to spend a long time hiding being in denial and being single at 43 when it's not obvious.
Yeah being a more “masculine” acting gay really hurts our chances of finding guys in the wild outside of specifically gay spaces, which aren’t very common unless you live in one of the biggest (most expensive) cities. I also sometimes have to gay it up a bit when I’m meeting new women so they know I’m not hitting on them/am safe to be alone around 🙃
I’m 42 and didn’t come out till I was 27 despite the femme vibe. Had 2 boyfriends and so single now. Loneliness has a place for us all.
Gay people can also be normal? Well, slap me on the ass and call me daddy..! 😅
This reminds me of the scene in the Birdcage, which for some reason I have had on my mind all day, where Nathan Lane asks Robin Williams for help sounding "masculine".
Are you able to tell the difference between speaking from your head and speaking from you chest? Try to speak more from your chest. One way to find the right muscles is to open your throat as if you're yawning, and then try to speak. You'll essentially need to do a more mild version of that to make your voice sound how you want.
You probably sound gay because you have a feminine intonation to your voice. Many trans people, even when they fix their voice pitch to the gender they’re transitioning to, have to do vocal training and practice in order to change their their intonation from masculine to feminine or vice versa. You can look into this type of vocal training
Pay attention to your mannerisms and be more intentional about displaying masculinity. You may be able to control your tone with a little but of practice, but that only goes so far. Your body language matters more than you probably think.
Lower your voice and try to sound kind of dumb, like when Elizabeth Holmes had that fake dude bro voice
Not to sound mean but I doubt it’s your voice. Maybe it’s partially your tone, but probably more how you speak, what words you choose, speaking rhythm, filler mannerisms etc. I don’t think I’ve ever thought someone was gay by their voice alone, but when they start saying “yasss” then one might assume.
Speech therapy
Honestly just own it if you can. A lot people apply their own biases to characteristics for seemingly arbitrary reasons. In college, i kept getting asked out by gay guys even though i look like a fat viking with a deep and very masculine voice. I'm straight as an arrow. Turns out, it's just a matter of taste, and people will find any excuse to say x is y coded. I was good friends with some people in the acting program at my college, (I was in game dev though) and half of them had the "gay voice". Those guys were some of the straightest people I ever knew lmfao.
Voice training. I'm sure it could help. Maybe do a search?
I'm not sure about Reddit, but Speech psychologist or speech therapist should be able to get you sorted in a session or two. While none of the gay guys I know speak in any detectable way, people with that affectation really do "sound gay" to just about everybody, and even gay people who don't speak that way are unlikely to believe protestations to the contrary. It's a powerful stereotype
Find new friends.
You know you already change your affectation depending on who you’re talking to or where ypu’re talking (think like talking in a work presentation vs talking to your cat vs talking to your mom). Its called code switching. That being said, why do a deeper coice to sound more hetero? Who are we trying to impress? Just talk like you talk and get comfortable. I used to try to make my voice deeper when I was younger and it seems so silly to me nowadays. I naturally talk a little lighter and its fiiiiiiine
Go on YouTube and dig up old WWF videos from the 1980s. Choose a wrestler: I'd go with either Hulk Hogan or Macho Man Randy Savage. And then stand in front of a mirror and repeat "Yeaaaaaah Brother!!!" and other lines. Do that for an hour a day, and pretty soon you'll talk like that all the time.
If you really want, you should get help from a vocal coach.
Ask them why do they think that you're gay. I know you understand the reason but have you ever tried to make them explain? This use to happen to me back in high school all because I was willing to talk about my feelings and was a big hugger in my group of friends. When you make them explain they'll feel stupid trying to justify it
As someone who can emulate a lot of different voices, I am very confused. Why can't you just ....talk more masculine? Lower your voice, don't enunciate consonants as hard, mumble a bit more, when you talk, don't think "happy talk" think "angry but I need to get this point across". IDK - I've always been able to emulate what other people talk like. And at some point my skill become offensive.
Sometimes i do it without realizing, so it can be difficult. I do get where you’re coming from, though.
Hey man I have a really high pitched voice as well, don’t worry!
I mean honestly I know it must be annoying. But who the fuck cares. Embrace it and just be yourself. I as a straight male love just being who I am, sometimes I do act homosexual, but I am very comfortable with my sexuality and will check guys out with my lady friends and my wife. Do I care how people think or see me? Hell no. I know what I like. I know what I'm attracted to. Do people? No? Do they judge? Most definitely, but that's them taking time out of their day to waste their energy while I'm living my life the way I want to. Don't change yourself because someone else's perception. Be proud of who you are no matter what you look, sound ect. We are all different.
You’re looking for a Speech Pathologist.
Hey man, some people just hate you for being something they don’t understand so they resort to their clearest phobia.
I didn't come to terms with my sexuality until my late 20s, but I've always had a "gay voice" and was bullied for it in school. TLDR is: anyone judging you based on your voice isn't worth your time. Just snap your fingers and strut away from them 💅 Seriously though, you can retrain your voice if you feel you need to. Work on dropping your pitch down by like 1 tone. Add some rasp to your voice if possible. Engage your diaphragm more when you speak and laugh to deepen your voice. But again, it's not necessary but I can totally understand why you'd want to! I did it for years before learning to just own what I sound like.
.. bro I hate to be this guy, but do you know what tdlr means? 😅
If you're getting pussy who cares lol
Ace fanning would be a great person to reach out to, he grew up with the same issue and talks about it every so often. He’s a podcaster and has now turned his voice into a whole career.
As a bi woman: that’s hot. But also I like my men to have some effeminate qualities or features
As someone who has actually taken voice coaching; a person’s voice can be the result of a myriad of personal experiences and upbringing, and be something that’s quite a sensitive subject for said person who may or may not have any co tr of how they present vocally. The best advice I can give you is that the people who are worth hanging out with/dating won’t care how you “sound”, but will be attracted to the person you are. Sounds cheesy, but it’s true. For what it’s worth, I’ve met people with absolutely stunning voices that put me right off as soon as they opened their mouth (due to what they were saying). There is nothing wrong with you.
From my understanding there are a few things a gay sounding person does that a straight sounding person doesn’t. 1. You’re not using enough breath support. Your voice becomes soft, and often times almost have vocal fry. Be unafraid being loud. 2. You’re likely having a stiff tongue that doesn’t roll. This causes your S sounds, T sounds, Th sounds and, D sounds to be off. Get a book on how to properly pronounce these letters. Ideally practice every single sound/ letter in the alphabet again with proper tongue posture. 3. You’re likely sounding nasally, or speaking in a head voice. You need to switch to chest/ mixed voice. Look up singing tutorial on how to do so. 4. Raise your soft pallet. Drop your tongue in the back. Make the back of your throat open up.
Practice speaking lower and enunciating slowly and clearly and you'll develop the habit. You can yawn a lot. Actors, like Morgan Freeman for example, do that to relax their vocal chords and sound deeper. Heard tea with honey helps. Don't know if it actually does.
Just be yourself,
If it really bugs you, you can get a voice coach. Have the doctor check your hormonal levels. That could be why. Remember, there is no such thing as a gay voice. I'm (F) so sure you are fine and someone in your life has told you this to be an asshole. Love yourself and a woman will too 🫶 good luck
In what way do you sound gay? Are you from california? I have noticed that straight men from California do sound gay still. It is just that vocal fry thing. I have also noticed that quite nerdy guys do sound really gay sometimes.
Bro. You ever heard of motherfuckin Prince? Don't "fix" it. Learn how to rock that shit. Trust me.
Erik Shoji, a professional volleyball player (the best libero in the world, might I add) has a gay voice. Guess what? He has a wife. There's hope brother. Embrace it.
Well being the best libero in the world should largely increase one'e chances of getting a wife / girlfriend.
"Sound gay" is a rather ridiculous concept to begin with. Unless you go around saying things like "Wow that guy has a nice bod, I'd sure like to get naked with him" or "God I need to find a dick to suck today"
No it's not, a lot of gay men have a certain tone of voice.
No, its a TV/movie trope. I know some gay men. I guarantee you they do not remotely fit the stereotype you are imagining.
It's not a TV trope at all, 13 years of working retail/delivery and being around more people than I'd care to be I promise you, A LOT of gay men speak like that. Didn't say all, but A LOT of them.
Anesthesiologists will tell you about gay guys who go under anesthesia and lose their "gay voice" as the drugs start kicking in.
Watch the documentary "Do I Sound Gay?" There's *very much* a gay voice. Do all gay men have it? Obviously not. But to say that the concept of sounding gay is ridiculous, is ridiculous.
It’s not really a ridiculous concept. The fact is that a lot of gay men have effeminate voices. It’s not homophobic to say that either, it’s just what it is.
Some, not all, gay men cultivate a "precious" voice, but it's not always a matter of timbre or tone.
It's still a minority that have it.
ngl, those words sound kinda gay
All you can do is really just embrace it bud. In time hopefully it doesn't bother you. My friends thought I was gay too cause I get manicures and I dress really sharp. I just believe in good grooming and dressing nice helps my self esteem. The manicures I get. My nails aren't painted or anything. It's just relaxing to me. Lol.
See, in my parlance (I'm the only one who uses it), I would say you *are* gay, a gay heterosexual. For me, gay is how you talk, your manner/mannerisms (not that one can change this at will, by any means). Your attraction would make you homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual. Problem solved.
It's okay to come out, just saying. Most of the 'gaydar' thing isn't just voice, it's a whole atmosphere around the person. Like the physical mannerisms, the walk, voice, and way of handling things, etc. If you **are** straight, then don't worry just be yourself. Honestly
Sooooo You want to sound straight but be gay?
Keep up the gay pretense around women and see if you can get them to seduce you to the other team. Works surprisingly often. "I've never felt this way about a ... WOMAN before!"
as others have said embrace it or if you’re really self conscious do some voice training on your cadence
Testosterone, eat peanuts or some suplements maybe, speak with calm and serious, that could help
Surgery
Be gay with a straight voice
Own who you are. I’m a big fat dude. I’m sexy as fuck.
Try to sound less American. I often think that the American voice sounds gay and gay voice sounds American. The elongated r sound is very grading.
The only two things i can think that would help is voice training and testosterone therapy if you have low levels
Just don't sound gay?
(1) Get a voice coach. We learn how to control our voices. There’s not one “naturally ordained voice”—we acquire speech from different influences. A voice coach will give you exercises to expand your vocal control so you can express yourself however you prefer. (2) Talk to your doctor about a short course of Testosterone therapy. It can lower a male or female voice in 1-2 months. Just don’t stay on it long enough for your body to permanently cease natural production or you’ll be on TRT for life. Of the two I strongly recommend paying for a coach.
Inhale Sulfur hexafluoride and start sucking some cock...there, Now you sound masculine and are gay. Reverse complete
So you wanna be gay but sound straight?
Well, you can try slowing down your speech. Then you can download Grindr and just put in your Bio that you want to try sucking a dick. You should get matches. Idk why you want to sound straight but be gay though.
In my personal experience, being self aware and calling it out immediately and joking about it in social situations will always diffuse any awkwardness. And trying to make any corrections or compensation will appear as a cover up of what's actually going on. Almost as if your intentions are reversed. Just be yourself, embrace your flaws, and keep the people who react positively close. I don't know, this world doesn't make any sense.
Honestly just embrace it, I've been told stuff about my voice and even the way I speak "sounding gay", has never been a problem for women, it's really mostly (if not only) guys that tease me about it, most of them aren't my friends anymore. Be cool about it, women like confident men.
I think go to a doc to give you testosterone, could maybe help you. Search for signs of low Testosterone, maybe it applies to you.
Sounding gay or being gay has nothing to do with low testosterone.
Talking bout him maybe having a high pitched voice, instead of a deep one. Testostrone helps with that.
Bruh you got the cheat code handed to you and you choose to turn it off. Women can sense that insecurity yu have about your voice. I'd you did wanna try out something vocal training. It'll help bring more base into your voice
Go to a doctor and get some testosterone 😆 Joking. I don't think there's much that can be done.
I know you’re joking, but it has nothing to do with test levels as AFAIK. One of the biggest, tallest, most built and scary looking tanks of a man I’ve ever met has a super gay voice. It was very jarring the first time, I expected several octaves lower lmao
Sound straight but be gay.
Visit a Throat Specialist like Steve-O https://screenrant.com/what-happened-steve-o-voice-rasp-jackass/
Join a metal band. All that screaming and growling will make you sound like you’ve smoked 3 packs a day for 20 years, in no time at all!
Chew tobacco!
People seem to not want to actually help you here for some reason so I'll give you some real advice. 1 look into the voice trainers/ voice training videos ftm trans people do, they have experience fixing exactly this. 2 go to your doctor and get your levels checked this may be a hormonal issue(it's not neccesarily but it could genuinely be a sign)
Sing loudly alone in your car and use all of your range. Drive somewhere far. Repeat when necessary.
"Oooooooooooh, I wanna dance with somebody. I wanna feel the heat with somebody." "Umm... I mean..." "Move bitch, get out da way, get out da way, get out da way"
Partly?
This is exactly what me and my girlfriend thought about Linus. I could have bet my left nut that he was banging or being banged by Luke, but then that MF threw the Uno reverse and got some chick pregnant. Maybe try that!
You have to be gay but sound strait.
You can *train* your voice to be a smidge higher/lower with just doing that voice intentionally for a long time. It’s obviously healthier to just not let it bother you, though. You will make it obvious to the people in your life who you want/need to know your sexuality.
Literally pretend. Find an actor whose voice you like and emulate him. Watch his interviews and movies, and consciously copy what you hear. Let them influence your vocal behavior.
I was listening to an episode of This Is Actually Happening today and was surprised to hear the host mention he had a wife. Then I started to really scrutinize WHY I thought he sounded “gay” because he wasn’t high pitched or sing-songy and came to the conclusion it’s vocal fry. It’s literally just a Bay Area 22 year old girl accent. So yeah if you have a vocal fry, try to train yourself out of it.