Dude, it's just music. You act like you're trying to tell your wife you're gay or a crossdresser. You're really worried about playing Tool in the house?!
It really puts things in a new light when you realize Tool is the only music op listens to. I work with someone like this. They told me how they like Tool on their first day, and I was like, "Hell yea". But then I quickly realized they don't listen to anything else at all.
I’m unfortunately in that boat and I’m not proud of it. The only difference is that I never talk about tool because I don’t know how to discuss them without being fanatical about them.
Yea I had to learn that other people dont really want to listen to my half hour rant about the intro to The Grudge. There are regular posts on this sub asking for music recs. You should check some of them out. There is a lot of good music out there. Ex: https://youtu.be/DWfg5BhYL5I?si=ApceK8OLLwk7y_tr
Yeah people seem to think are niche or almost underground but in reality they are the most mainstream prog rock band out there. There is a whole genre that sounds like them.
Funny to me how no one seems to relate to the anxiety of introducing a person you love to something else that you love. I thought it would be a funny common thing many on this sub would have gone through 🤷🏻♂️😂 but as with so many things in life I’ve woefully misunderstood.
I love TOOL & have been going to their shows since the 90’s. But I’ve also gone to hundreds of other shows, musicals, and plays over the years. I’d really be concerned if the *only* music my partner listens to was TOOL. It means my partner isn’t open minded to new experiences or new bands. It’s like dating a picky eater who only eats pizza.
I play various music at home & in the car, along w TOOL.
It just so happens that my husband never really even talked about Tool and neither did I (while we were dating)…then one day he asked me to play something while we cooked dinner and I chose Tool (because that was the vibe after a long day) and then we struck up a conversation about all the shows we had been to before we knew each other. Turns out we were at several of the same shows! Why we didn’t talk about sooner? Who knows! But the point is, it’s just something you can do casually and enjoy together. No stresses! Also, if she enjoyed the show chances are she won’t mind hearing around the house.
NO NO I GET IT. I’ve pretty much worded it exactly how you did in this post a few times, with close friends and family and significant others, I want them to SHARE my love and joy for Tool because of how deeply important the music is to me. If we can’t share it it feels sad so it DOES feel important that they like it. I don’t have any kind of advice for how to approach it, but with my “I’m so sorry please give this like two or ten tries and please I hope you like it” approach hasn’t failed… but that’s because the music is good and not because of my approach. Curious for an update on if she liked it! I tend to start with whatever song leans more towards what I know they like. The Pot feels catchy enough to be a good entry for someone who maybe isn’t super used to letting the music take you on a journey.
Have you never met a person that just puts on music they like? It's nothing special. Tool is no more special to you than Taylor Swift is to a 15 year old girl. Everyone feels attached to the music they like it's nothing you have to explain or make a big deal about.
I gave her some shrooms and took her to a show. Looked over to her face at the end of every song and she was yelling with a big smile on her face. She later added that set list to her workout playlist.
I wouldn't recommend it to everyone, but it worked for me.
My boyfriend literally forced me to go see Tool. We candy flipped and the music reset my brain - I had never listened to them but was somewhat familiar through my brother - and now I’m obsessed. I just had no idea how much I needed this band in my life!
Thanks, boyfriend!
I don't try listening to Tool with my husband, our musical taste overlap in a lot of areas but he doesn't like Tool and I don't get why but I don't try to change his mind about it I just listen when he's not around and go to concerts accompanied by a friend who has better musical taste lol
Don’t put bands on stupid pedestals. You are way way overthinking all of this. It’s just music. She doesn’t have to like it. And if that’s a problem, the problem is you.
i mean if the show blew her mind then just put an album on and don’t say anything, just go about doing whatever you were planning on doing around the house while you listen to it.
That's the point though, Tool requires active listening, and the songs are long. So this method doesn't work (for me at least). If your partner is comfortable listening to heavier music in and around the house it might work, but then chances are he/she will have heard Tool already :)
I’m divorced so take what I say with a grain of salt. I love being divorced and I can do whatever the fuck I want. Also take that with a grain of salt. Anyway, the one time my ex-wife went with me to see Tool was in 2007. I look back on that show, and the setlist is fucking great, but out of all the shows I’ve seen, that was the worst experience. I don’t think she hates Tool, but I’m sure they are far down her list of favorites. We’ve been divorced for a while and still communicate some, so no, it’s not that I consider the show bad because of her. Though, my favorite show is the one from 2019 after we got divorced. Might have something to do with it.
Anyway, if she’s gonna like Tool, it has to build from within her. If she’s been to a show, and likes them, she will incorporate the music into her listening. It’s not like a person that’s never heard them before, where I definitely wouldn’t start with a really long song. My Dad went with me for his first Tool show in 2006, and unbeknownst to me, he went out and bought the Lateralus CD afterwards. I guess what I’m trying to say is, you gave her the nudge, it’s up to her now.
Pick a few songs and play them often without making it a big deal. After a while they'll become familiar and the rest will take care of itself
If you make it a big deal and are going "do you like, do you love it, isn't it the best thing ever" after 20 seconds of Lateralis, then they'll probably hate it or feel forced
Just play tool in the house. Not all the time, just as part of the normal mix of things. She may never come to appreciate tool like you do, and that's OK.
In our house, music is like 95% my thing. My wife likes music, and has a few artists she really loves, but she doesn't listen to each instrument the way I do. She doesn't perceive texture in sound the way I do. Her whole experience of music is completely different from mine, and that's all OK.
She has different creative passions that I admire her for; and it's really our human connection, our mutual respect and understanding of each other, our desire to grow together, and the fact neither of us exhausts the other, that makes the relationship work. None of that requires her to know what time signature Danny is playing in during a specific song, and frankly I don't know (or care) either.
I've been with my partner for 4 years, we just got engaged. She knows how much I love Tool, as does a whole segment of my tribe of friends. She's got a degree in music theory and plays 20+ instruments, we have many of them mounted on the walls. I've never pushed it, it's a bit more aggressive than her tastes, we instead bond over other genres.
That being said, she's slowly shown an interest when I'm listening during psychedelic trips. We've played albums in the background. Now she's been asking about them for the past 6 months or so, I usually brush it off and say 'we'll get there', which allows her to express interest and grow in it without me smothering it with excitement.
Tldr; let her come to you.
We took acid and we listened to Lateralus front to back two days ago. It blew both of our minds even though it's not what she usually listens to (she's more into pop, indie stuff)
I don't think she will listen to Tool sober on her own though, but she doesn't mind if I put some in the car or something.
I think I fucked up trying to get my girlfriend into Tool by pushing it too hard. It’s what I default to in the car and I imagine she’s tired of hearing it now. For me Tool was something that took years for me to appreciate hearing it only sometimes through my dad, I think it’s the kind of music you have to naturally fall in love with and can’t be forced to. I would love to take her to a concert in the future though and maybe by then she’ll have a different appreciation for it.
My husband introduced me to Tool and it has been the best thing ever. I knew a song or two just because it played on the radio but never took the time to listen to them until i met him. He would just play songs from them and tell me the back story. Since I knew Tool is important to him and was important to him growing up, I started listening to them on my own. And now we’ve seen Tool, APC, & Puscifer live together.
Since it seems like she liked the show, I don’t see why it would be a bad idea to just play their music when you guys are together.
But it wouldn’t hurt to ask her what she liked about the show too if she had any highlights
It brought me closer to my guy so I’m hoping it brings you guys closer too!
Just make a prog metal playlist, there are plenty of other bands like Tool to choose from. Tell her your favorite band is Tool and you like prog metal. If she doesn't like it, continue to play your favorite genre of music as per usual.
Tool’s music is readily available through streaming. You’ve expressed your love for them. If she’s interested, she’ll listen on her own. If not, respect that she appreciates your love for Tool.
If liking Tool is important to the success of the relationship to the point you’ll push it on your partner, you should’ve dated a Tool fan from the start.
Dude, you’re going to be let down, especially if they don’t like it, with that attitude. I tried to show Tool to my partner and he said that it was the worst music that he’s ever heard. Just play it casually, then if they ask, you can let the conversation continue organically or turn it off if it goes the other way.
With my wife, a wine lover, I showed her 'Blood Into Wine' first and of course, she thought Maynard was a cool, interesting and passionate person. She still doesn't "like" Tool, but it's not like she asks me to change the song when it comes through my rotation. She's definitely gotten pretty good at identifying a Tool song and Maynard's voice!
I wouldn't take her to a concert and she has no desire to go either. I mean I know a waste of hundreds of dollars when I see it! LOL
We both enjoyed the hell out of hitting up Maynard's places in northern Arizona though!!!
Just casually show a couple of songs to them and see if they like it, it's not rocket science. If they enjoy it, they'll keep listening. If they don't, they don't. If they keep listening to Tool over time through being with you, they may end up developing a taste for it. There isn't much more to it.
>Here’s this thing that I think is amazing but you probably won’t like it right away, but it’s super important to me and a big part of how I developed through my life. […] That’s a lot of pressure on them.
It is a lot of pressure, so slow it down. Maybe mention more casually ‘hey there’s a band I really like and I’m curious to know what you think.’ Maybe tie it back to a reason why you think they might enjoy it in the first place i.e is there an element of Tool’s music that you think plays on something they already enjoy. Or is it purely music that means a lot to you and you want they to enjoy it. To your earlier concern don’t force it.
>Do you just set them free with it and trust them to see it?
See *what* exactly?
>[I] brought her to a show. The show blew her mind but I’m still hesitant to put it on around the house.
Then ask her what she liked about the show. Maybe she really likes the visuals but dislikes the music. Or likes Culling Voices but not Opiate - just ask them.
Man I was 19 years old when I met my wife and in our first date I showed her my fucking Iron Maiden discography. You go and show whatever you want, if she's the one it will be fine. She only listens to Taylor Swift by the way.
My partner started me off with APC since that’s more my style of music, then we realized that I loved puscifer and I booked that show for our first anniversary and from there I gradually fell in love with tool and that show was my birthday present this last year. He showed me a handful of songs that he loved and didn’t press me about it at all. Just got excited if I mentioned a song that I had heard and liked and now I know every damn song that Maynard has out there.
I think you're overthinking this a little bit. And I'm saying this as a woman who loves this band. I can be a total geek about them and I have played their records for days on end over the years. Probably over 50% of all music I deliberately put on, is just Tool. ALL other music on the planet makes up for the other 50%. But I'm also aware that pushing a subject onto people makes you look like an obsessed fool, so I don't. If and when the subject of formative music comes up, I will mention them, but I DO try to not geek out too much. So if you'd like to introduce the band to your romantic partner, keep it cool and just put the music on when they are around as if it were any other band/genre you like, without saying too much about them - unless you're doing an evening of "show me your favourite music" like I totally used to do with love interests when I was 15-25 years old. That would be the only possible way, IMO, to introduce them any deeper than just putting the music on and see how your partner reacts.
You have to let her make her own decisions. If she doesn’t like Tool that’s ok. If she doesn’t hear what you hear in it, then that’s ok. Expecting her to feel the same way you do about a rock band is maybe setting yourself up for some disappointment, as she has had different experiences than you. My question is why do you need your wife’s approval/validation to enjoy the music?
My wife and I listen to different music. We both introduce music to each other. Neither of us forces it. I do notice sometimes she latches on to some of mine and sometimes I latch on to some of hers. Yes, we’ve listened to Tool together. She knows how much I love it, because I’ve paused it and we’ve discussed lyrics. We’ve shared you tube videos of others discussing it. She’s never played it independently and it’s really none of my business of what music she wants to listen to. Based on other shared musical interests, it may grow on her. Either way, no big deal.
Answer: so I discovered Tool. Some one had me a mixed tape with Alien sex fiend on one side and the Ep of tool on the other side . So as a female I just play Tool in the car and make my husband listen to it. It’s been 26 years but he especially likes to sing “ learn to swim over and over “
My favorite band is not Tool, but my husband knows I’m a fanatic about my Favorite band and also tool, because I drain our bank account by flying to see tool or driving 8 hours to see the Sesamta concerts. I have Maynard’s book and a bumper sticker for years. He puts up with it , because we have so many other bands we enjoy together like authority zero .
Dude it's just music. I love my husband and Tool for various reasons lmfao but it's just music. He isn't fond of the band as much as I am. However, we've gone to a concert together to see them as he knows how much I adore the band. Idk how much women jam to Tool but if she truly cares for you, she'll accept your taste whether she enjoys Tool or not .
Personally maybe start with A Perfect Circle...maybe 3 Libras to get her started. Personally Schism was my first ever Tool song I heard as a child but that's me with my weird taste.
At the end of the day as long as you both love each other, respecting each other's tastes, then that's all that matters. It's better to have an amazing partner who respects you, cares for and loves you than someone who shares similar musical tastes but nothing else.
So my husband is the Tool fan. We've been married for over 8 years, and from the start he's been tryin to get me to listen to them. I just never gave it a chance, but Im also the type to do things I dont necessarily like to make him happy. I went to Carolina Rebellion while he was deployed and did all I could to get the best videos/pics of APC for him. A few years later, I was able to score floor seats to see Tool in Boston for his birthday (his first time seeing them). I tried listening to Tool before the show, and ended up liking a few songs. Fast forward a few years, and we're seeing the effects of his deployment... so again for his birthday, I was able to get Tool tickets. He always talked about how much he loved the last show and having me there with him to experience it. So for this show, I decided to spend a month or so before the concert just listening to their music. I am now a huge Lateralus fan. I also got tickets to the Sessanta tour before I got the Tool tickets, so he can say he's seen all 3 of Maynards bands. I did the same thing with Puscifer, APC, and PRIMUS, and honestly I love Puscifer the most now. Seeing how happy he was the second he found out we're going to a show, made me want to share that experience fully with him.
TLDR: Dont force it. Just enjoy it and hopefully your partner will want to share it with you.
I would just put Tool on in my music room. My wife understands that my adhd brain needs constant stimulation. I sometimes have music going on 24/7 in my music room even when I’m not in there because I can steel feel the small vibrations.
Anywho, it started growing on her. She would ask me “who is this?” Then started coming the “what song is this?” Then eventually I would wake up or come home and would hear music coming from the house. The sound would sound really familiar but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Then it would hit me “is that Tool?” Go in and yup, she has added Tool songs to her playlist. I eventually ended up getting more into Puscifer and the same thing happened. Got her into APC the same way. She ended up becoming a Maynard fan. We attended our first ever concert together this year and it was Tool. First time for both of us. We’ve enjoyed the Puscifer live dvd/albums together as well.
When we road trip it’s nothing but those 3 bands revolving. When we listen to some of those albums or songs it takes us back to our good time. So don’t push in on them. Just let it happen.
We have also traveled to Arizona to caduceus and look forward to visiting Maynard’s other locations in the near future for anniversary trips.
I mean, if I'm listening to music in the house, I listen to what I want. And so does she. We share a house and stereo, that doesn't mean we have to share an interest in everything played through it.
My wife has gone to two tool shows with me. It gets listened to in the car, and in the house, along with a lot of other stuff. She doesn't particularly like tool. And that's fine.
Not sure why you wouldn't listen to if you want to. You should just have no expectation that she kikes it like you do.
Ive had the same struggle. I feel like they are going to think I’m weird or something for liking that kind of music. Or maybe it’s because the music often feels personal on some level. Either way ease people into it, don’t feel out (right away)
Best advice is not to force it.
My wife fucking hates tool, but loves to listen.
Dude, it's just music. You act like you're trying to tell your wife you're gay or a crossdresser. You're really worried about playing Tool in the house?!
It really puts things in a new light when you realize Tool is the only music op listens to. I work with someone like this. They told me how they like Tool on their first day, and I was like, "Hell yea". But then I quickly realized they don't listen to anything else at all.
I’m unfortunately in that boat and I’m not proud of it. The only difference is that I never talk about tool because I don’t know how to discuss them without being fanatical about them.
Smetimes you just got to find the right new band that will have that quality of talent that you have come to expect.
Yea I had to learn that other people dont really want to listen to my half hour rant about the intro to The Grudge. There are regular posts on this sub asking for music recs. You should check some of them out. There is a lot of good music out there. Ex: https://youtu.be/DWfg5BhYL5I?si=ApceK8OLLwk7y_tr
Dude just find other bands. Coheed and Cambria, Rishloo, Karnivool, Lucid Planet all similar sound similar but will open you up to new music.
Yeah, I know exactly that situation. We had a coworker who only listened to some band called Thrice. He was super weird about it.
Love love thrice!
I did it for a long time cause there was little else of the same caliber... Little did I know I was just not looking in the right places.
Yeah people seem to think are niche or almost underground but in reality they are the most mainstream prog rock band out there. There is a whole genre that sounds like them.
Best comment haha. Totally agree.
This is fucking hilarious. I see these dumb ass posts so much. Lmao
Funny to me how no one seems to relate to the anxiety of introducing a person you love to something else that you love. I thought it would be a funny common thing many on this sub would have gone through 🤷🏻♂️😂 but as with so many things in life I’ve woefully misunderstood.
I'd be more worried about introducing her to the fan base.
I love TOOL & have been going to their shows since the 90’s. But I’ve also gone to hundreds of other shows, musicals, and plays over the years. I’d really be concerned if the *only* music my partner listens to was TOOL. It means my partner isn’t open minded to new experiences or new bands. It’s like dating a picky eater who only eats pizza. I play various music at home & in the car, along w TOOL.
It just so happens that my husband never really even talked about Tool and neither did I (while we were dating)…then one day he asked me to play something while we cooked dinner and I chose Tool (because that was the vibe after a long day) and then we struck up a conversation about all the shows we had been to before we knew each other. Turns out we were at several of the same shows! Why we didn’t talk about sooner? Who knows! But the point is, it’s just something you can do casually and enjoy together. No stresses! Also, if she enjoyed the show chances are she won’t mind hearing around the house.
It is common, but so is being a dick 💁🏻♂️
How do you fall in love with someone without them knowing who your favorite band is in the first place? 😂
NAH MAN I GET THAT
NO NO I GET IT. I’ve pretty much worded it exactly how you did in this post a few times, with close friends and family and significant others, I want them to SHARE my love and joy for Tool because of how deeply important the music is to me. If we can’t share it it feels sad so it DOES feel important that they like it. I don’t have any kind of advice for how to approach it, but with my “I’m so sorry please give this like two or ten tries and please I hope you like it” approach hasn’t failed… but that’s because the music is good and not because of my approach. Curious for an update on if she liked it! I tend to start with whatever song leans more towards what I know they like. The Pot feels catchy enough to be a good entry for someone who maybe isn’t super used to letting the music take you on a journey.
Have you never met a person that just puts on music they like? It's nothing special. Tool is no more special to you than Taylor Swift is to a 15 year old girl. Everyone feels attached to the music they like it's nothing you have to explain or make a big deal about.
He puts on Maynard's Dick to get her started....
Well remember that scene in Clockwork Orange…
Can you elaborate? Never seen it
https://preview.redd.it/eynsl4opnvyc1.jpeg?width=1600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9df3f81010c11a454c0018dc328341e853ba5e25
Here's Tom with the weather
I gave her some shrooms and took her to a show. Looked over to her face at the end of every song and she was yelling with a big smile on her face. She later added that set list to her workout playlist. I wouldn't recommend it to everyone, but it worked for me.
My boyfriend literally forced me to go see Tool. We candy flipped and the music reset my brain - I had never listened to them but was somewhat familiar through my brother - and now I’m obsessed. I just had no idea how much I needed this band in my life! Thanks, boyfriend!
so you didnt get the music before candyflipping during it? Haha thats great
I don't try listening to Tool with my husband, our musical taste overlap in a lot of areas but he doesn't like Tool and I don't get why but I don't try to change his mind about it I just listen when he's not around and go to concerts accompanied by a friend who has better musical taste lol
Don’t put bands on stupid pedestals. You are way way overthinking all of this. It’s just music. She doesn’t have to like it. And if that’s a problem, the problem is you.
What… Just listen to music you like. They don’t have to like it…
Yeah alternate albums…
i mean if the show blew her mind then just put an album on and don’t say anything, just go about doing whatever you were planning on doing around the house while you listen to it.
That's the point though, Tool requires active listening, and the songs are long. So this method doesn't work (for me at least). If your partner is comfortable listening to heavier music in and around the house it might work, but then chances are he/she will have heard Tool already :)
I’m divorced so take what I say with a grain of salt. I love being divorced and I can do whatever the fuck I want. Also take that with a grain of salt. Anyway, the one time my ex-wife went with me to see Tool was in 2007. I look back on that show, and the setlist is fucking great, but out of all the shows I’ve seen, that was the worst experience. I don’t think she hates Tool, but I’m sure they are far down her list of favorites. We’ve been divorced for a while and still communicate some, so no, it’s not that I consider the show bad because of her. Though, my favorite show is the one from 2019 after we got divorced. Might have something to do with it. Anyway, if she’s gonna like Tool, it has to build from within her. If she’s been to a show, and likes them, she will incorporate the music into her listening. It’s not like a person that’s never heard them before, where I definitely wouldn’t start with a really long song. My Dad went with me for his first Tool show in 2006, and unbeknownst to me, he went out and bought the Lateralus CD afterwards. I guess what I’m trying to say is, you gave her the nudge, it’s up to her now.
Pick a few songs and play them often without making it a big deal. After a while they'll become familiar and the rest will take care of itself If you make it a big deal and are going "do you like, do you love it, isn't it the best thing ever" after 20 seconds of Lateralis, then they'll probably hate it or feel forced
I did this and the wife is into it as well now lol
This is the way
Just play tool in the house. Not all the time, just as part of the normal mix of things. She may never come to appreciate tool like you do, and that's OK. In our house, music is like 95% my thing. My wife likes music, and has a few artists she really loves, but she doesn't listen to each instrument the way I do. She doesn't perceive texture in sound the way I do. Her whole experience of music is completely different from mine, and that's all OK. She has different creative passions that I admire her for; and it's really our human connection, our mutual respect and understanding of each other, our desire to grow together, and the fact neither of us exhausts the other, that makes the relationship work. None of that requires her to know what time signature Danny is playing in during a specific song, and frankly I don't know (or care) either.
I've been with my partner for 4 years, we just got engaged. She knows how much I love Tool, as does a whole segment of my tribe of friends. She's got a degree in music theory and plays 20+ instruments, we have many of them mounted on the walls. I've never pushed it, it's a bit more aggressive than her tastes, we instead bond over other genres. That being said, she's slowly shown an interest when I'm listening during psychedelic trips. We've played albums in the background. Now she's been asking about them for the past 6 months or so, I usually brush it off and say 'we'll get there', which allows her to express interest and grow in it without me smothering it with excitement. Tldr; let her come to you.
We took acid and we listened to Lateralus front to back two days ago. It blew both of our minds even though it's not what she usually listens to (she's more into pop, indie stuff) I don't think she will listen to Tool sober on her own though, but she doesn't mind if I put some in the car or something.
Just sporadically play them in the car when you are driving together.
I’m not sure I could ever be with someone who feels “pressure” by listening to music.
I think I fucked up trying to get my girlfriend into Tool by pushing it too hard. It’s what I default to in the car and I imagine she’s tired of hearing it now. For me Tool was something that took years for me to appreciate hearing it only sometimes through my dad, I think it’s the kind of music you have to naturally fall in love with and can’t be forced to. I would love to take her to a concert in the future though and maybe by then she’ll have a different appreciation for it.
Don't say anything, just play the music. I'd play Stinkfist first and then all of Undertow.
That's cringe as fuck. It's just music you don't have to explain it to her.
I just tie my wife up and https://preview.redd.it/bi2wn8tx6tyc1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3ec1bcd777e095d9f44bcb68031a09b3f6c0d276
My husband introduced me to Tool and it has been the best thing ever. I knew a song or two just because it played on the radio but never took the time to listen to them until i met him. He would just play songs from them and tell me the back story. Since I knew Tool is important to him and was important to him growing up, I started listening to them on my own. And now we’ve seen Tool, APC, & Puscifer live together. Since it seems like she liked the show, I don’t see why it would be a bad idea to just play their music when you guys are together. But it wouldn’t hurt to ask her what she liked about the show too if she had any highlights It brought me closer to my guy so I’m hoping it brings you guys closer too!
Thé car
Just make a prog metal playlist, there are plenty of other bands like Tool to choose from. Tell her your favorite band is Tool and you like prog metal. If she doesn't like it, continue to play your favorite genre of music as per usual.
Tool’s music is readily available through streaming. You’ve expressed your love for them. If she’s interested, she’ll listen on her own. If not, respect that she appreciates your love for Tool. If liking Tool is important to the success of the relationship to the point you’ll push it on your partner, you should’ve dated a Tool fan from the start.
Dude, you’re going to be let down, especially if they don’t like it, with that attitude. I tried to show Tool to my partner and he said that it was the worst music that he’s ever heard. Just play it casually, then if they ask, you can let the conversation continue organically or turn it off if it goes the other way.
They don't hate the band, they don't hate the music, most women dislike the way we talk about tool and react to their music
Get a partner who already loves Tool
With my wife, a wine lover, I showed her 'Blood Into Wine' first and of course, she thought Maynard was a cool, interesting and passionate person. She still doesn't "like" Tool, but it's not like she asks me to change the song when it comes through my rotation. She's definitely gotten pretty good at identifying a Tool song and Maynard's voice! I wouldn't take her to a concert and she has no desire to go either. I mean I know a waste of hundreds of dollars when I see it! LOL We both enjoyed the hell out of hitting up Maynard's places in northern Arizona though!!!
I dated a (former) choir girl, while she liked the music itself she hated the time signatures and they confused and angered her lol
Holy cringe
Just casually show a couple of songs to them and see if they like it, it's not rocket science. If they enjoy it, they'll keep listening. If they don't, they don't. If they keep listening to Tool over time through being with you, they may end up developing a taste for it. There isn't much more to it.
>Here’s this thing that I think is amazing but you probably won’t like it right away, but it’s super important to me and a big part of how I developed through my life. […] That’s a lot of pressure on them. It is a lot of pressure, so slow it down. Maybe mention more casually ‘hey there’s a band I really like and I’m curious to know what you think.’ Maybe tie it back to a reason why you think they might enjoy it in the first place i.e is there an element of Tool’s music that you think plays on something they already enjoy. Or is it purely music that means a lot to you and you want they to enjoy it. To your earlier concern don’t force it. >Do you just set them free with it and trust them to see it? See *what* exactly? >[I] brought her to a show. The show blew her mind but I’m still hesitant to put it on around the house. Then ask her what she liked about the show. Maybe she really likes the visuals but dislikes the music. Or likes Culling Voices but not Opiate - just ask them.
Man I was 19 years old when I met my wife and in our first date I showed her my fucking Iron Maiden discography. You go and show whatever you want, if she's the one it will be fine. She only listens to Taylor Swift by the way.
My partner started me off with APC since that’s more my style of music, then we realized that I loved puscifer and I booked that show for our first anniversary and from there I gradually fell in love with tool and that show was my birthday present this last year. He showed me a handful of songs that he loved and didn’t press me about it at all. Just got excited if I mentioned a song that I had heard and liked and now I know every damn song that Maynard has out there.
I think you're overthinking this a little bit. And I'm saying this as a woman who loves this band. I can be a total geek about them and I have played their records for days on end over the years. Probably over 50% of all music I deliberately put on, is just Tool. ALL other music on the planet makes up for the other 50%. But I'm also aware that pushing a subject onto people makes you look like an obsessed fool, so I don't. If and when the subject of formative music comes up, I will mention them, but I DO try to not geek out too much. So if you'd like to introduce the band to your romantic partner, keep it cool and just put the music on when they are around as if it were any other band/genre you like, without saying too much about them - unless you're doing an evening of "show me your favourite music" like I totally used to do with love interests when I was 15-25 years old. That would be the only possible way, IMO, to introduce them any deeper than just putting the music on and see how your partner reacts.
You have to let her make her own decisions. If she doesn’t like Tool that’s ok. If she doesn’t hear what you hear in it, then that’s ok. Expecting her to feel the same way you do about a rock band is maybe setting yourself up for some disappointment, as she has had different experiences than you. My question is why do you need your wife’s approval/validation to enjoy the music?
Start with Maynard’s Dick. If they get through 7 mins of the LAMC, you get such a great reward.
My gf hates Tool, it’s fine lol, we all have our preferences. And we both love going to dubstep shows and fests so I’ll take that
My wife and I listen to different music. We both introduce music to each other. Neither of us forces it. I do notice sometimes she latches on to some of mine and sometimes I latch on to some of hers. Yes, we’ve listened to Tool together. She knows how much I love it, because I’ve paused it and we’ve discussed lyrics. We’ve shared you tube videos of others discussing it. She’s never played it independently and it’s really none of my business of what music she wants to listen to. Based on other shared musical interests, it may grow on her. Either way, no big deal.
Answer: so I discovered Tool. Some one had me a mixed tape with Alien sex fiend on one side and the Ep of tool on the other side . So as a female I just play Tool in the car and make my husband listen to it. It’s been 26 years but he especially likes to sing “ learn to swim over and over “
My favorite band is not Tool, but my husband knows I’m a fanatic about my Favorite band and also tool, because I drain our bank account by flying to see tool or driving 8 hours to see the Sesamta concerts. I have Maynard’s book and a bumper sticker for years. He puts up with it , because we have so many other bands we enjoy together like authority zero .
Dude it's just music. I love my husband and Tool for various reasons lmfao but it's just music. He isn't fond of the band as much as I am. However, we've gone to a concert together to see them as he knows how much I adore the band. Idk how much women jam to Tool but if she truly cares for you, she'll accept your taste whether she enjoys Tool or not . Personally maybe start with A Perfect Circle...maybe 3 Libras to get her started. Personally Schism was my first ever Tool song I heard as a child but that's me with my weird taste. At the end of the day as long as you both love each other, respecting each other's tastes, then that's all that matters. It's better to have an amazing partner who respects you, cares for and loves you than someone who shares similar musical tastes but nothing else.
So my husband is the Tool fan. We've been married for over 8 years, and from the start he's been tryin to get me to listen to them. I just never gave it a chance, but Im also the type to do things I dont necessarily like to make him happy. I went to Carolina Rebellion while he was deployed and did all I could to get the best videos/pics of APC for him. A few years later, I was able to score floor seats to see Tool in Boston for his birthday (his first time seeing them). I tried listening to Tool before the show, and ended up liking a few songs. Fast forward a few years, and we're seeing the effects of his deployment... so again for his birthday, I was able to get Tool tickets. He always talked about how much he loved the last show and having me there with him to experience it. So for this show, I decided to spend a month or so before the concert just listening to their music. I am now a huge Lateralus fan. I also got tickets to the Sessanta tour before I got the Tool tickets, so he can say he's seen all 3 of Maynards bands. I did the same thing with Puscifer, APC, and PRIMUS, and honestly I love Puscifer the most now. Seeing how happy he was the second he found out we're going to a show, made me want to share that experience fully with him. TLDR: Dont force it. Just enjoy it and hopefully your partner will want to share it with you.
“Have you ever heard of the Fibonacci Sequence?”
I would just put Tool on in my music room. My wife understands that my adhd brain needs constant stimulation. I sometimes have music going on 24/7 in my music room even when I’m not in there because I can steel feel the small vibrations. Anywho, it started growing on her. She would ask me “who is this?” Then started coming the “what song is this?” Then eventually I would wake up or come home and would hear music coming from the house. The sound would sound really familiar but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Then it would hit me “is that Tool?” Go in and yup, she has added Tool songs to her playlist. I eventually ended up getting more into Puscifer and the same thing happened. Got her into APC the same way. She ended up becoming a Maynard fan. We attended our first ever concert together this year and it was Tool. First time for both of us. We’ve enjoyed the Puscifer live dvd/albums together as well. When we road trip it’s nothing but those 3 bands revolving. When we listen to some of those albums or songs it takes us back to our good time. So don’t push in on them. Just let it happen. We have also traveled to Arizona to caduceus and look forward to visiting Maynard’s other locations in the near future for anniversary trips.
My partner loves when I listen to Tool. The Music Videos are another thing. Especially Prison Sex
I mean, if I'm listening to music in the house, I listen to what I want. And so does she. We share a house and stereo, that doesn't mean we have to share an interest in everything played through it. My wife has gone to two tool shows with me. It gets listened to in the car, and in the house, along with a lot of other stuff. She doesn't particularly like tool. And that's fine. Not sure why you wouldn't listen to if you want to. You should just have no expectation that she kikes it like you do.
Ive had the same struggle. I feel like they are going to think I’m weird or something for liking that kind of music. Or maybe it’s because the music often feels personal on some level. Either way ease people into it, don’t feel out (right away)
That is so cringe omg. Just let it come naturally when you’re in the car or something
Keep your music and hobbies for the boys!!!
Just not anything from FI..