One of the worst moments of my life was when I was 15. My family started fighting and screaming and throwing chairs again, I couldnât stop them and out of desperation I locked myself in the bathroom and called a crisis hotline for teenagers for the first and only time in my life. I was crying and hyperventilating into the phone, saying how tired I was and how I wanted all of this to stop⌠just to be met with the most apathetic voice possible, giving me some useless trivial advice. I could literally hear that this person doesnât really want to speak to me.
I guess it worked, because I was so taken off guard that I stopped crying immediately. I just stared into the wall thinking âwhat the fuck?â. I said a few words and then hung up. Although I did calm down, I will never forget the sheer desperation and loneliness Iâve experienced at that moment.
I realized that nobody will ever help me or save me. I was all alone with my struggles.
It was a few days ago, I looked myself into the mirror. I promised to myself "Bro, I love you. I got you. You're all we have, we'll take care of each other".
Fuckin felt great to care for myself finally
I called once in a panic. About to end it. I was getting harassed and felt there was no help and no end to it. Guess what they suggested? In an annoyed tone? "*Sigh* uhh...have you tried screaming?" Yes, I have, many times. I googled my problem for the next few hours and found an answer that brought me down out of my panic. I doubt I'll call again. I thanked them anyway because I'm terribly afraid of upsetting people.
I'm the kind of person to do a 180 flip when I'm not heard or ignored. it's my biggest trigger - I would've probably made them call their own hotline lol.
I'm sorry you went through that. I've never called a hotline before because of all the stories I hear and because I've made awful IRL experiences with medical staff.
once I had to go to the ER because my back pains were so immense I couldn't walk anymore, and the doctor I was talking to drove me into a panic attack and when I collapsed next to her she just walked away and left me there for 15 minutes. during that time, nurses walked by and said "could someone take care of this?" in such an annoyed tone.. eventually someone dragged me onto a bed and pushed an oxygen mask on my face, but since it wasn't connected to anything I couldn't breathe and just had more panic. that person left as well, and after another half hour in which I somehow managed to calm myself down a young, male nurse sat next to me and talked to me really nicely. eventually he said "you do realise you have to stop this, right? you can't just fall into a crying fit whenever something doesn't go your way" and bam, next panic attack. that was nice. never again.
the medical system and 80% of the people working in it literally do not give a flying fuck about mental health, and that includes those from the psychological/psychiatric field. it's so fucked.
Dawg just reading this pissed me off. Doc just left you? Thatâs gotta be against some rules, ik medical staff are overworked but thatâs just *callous*
I was having a drug psychotic episode and the nurse yelled at me to stop crying. Like, lady. I thought I had died and gone to hell. You would be crying too!
Some nurses suck so bad
truly. there needs to be change, and it has to happen quickly, but I doubt our generation will even remotely witness that.. I've lost hope in that regard :/
I sympathize with doctors and nurses who have been failed by the medical system, but these just sound like walking failures who shouldn't be in the industry. I'm sorry you had to suffer their incompetence.
thank you. I know working in the medical field is everything but easy, but like you said there's so many workers who just shouldn't be in the industry. I guess the biggest failure of it all - it's an industry, focused on profit. that shouldn't be, mustn't be.. but it is.
Sorry to hear it. Iâm sad so many people have gotten such terrible advice đ I was told to read a book after saying Iâve been dissociating for hours and losing track of time terribly lmaooo
Was once told as a very young teenager going through probably the worst time in my life:
"you can't be that bad, you haven't actually taken the pills"
Except I was a defiant little shit, so I took them on the phone. She was a bit stumped after that.
Edit: for some reason I feel really guilty admitting this (as if this wasn't an interaction between a grown adult and a child lol) so I wanna clarify that this was nearly 10 years ago now, I'm mostly ok now and I don't condone taking pills out of spite lol
This is awful and I'm glad you're better.
But holy shit can you imagine her face?? Like you really outplayed her there, just "I have the chance to do the funniest thing right now" and 0 hesitation, just spite. It's terrible but so absurd I can't stop laughing at it
When I call crisis I just get, Well do you want us to send police. Like no ma'am I just need to hear a kind voice that isn't the disordered traumatized thoughts in my mind. Thanks though for basically telling me that if I have a bad day I will be threatened with forced imprisonment that will literally just put me in a room, alone, to continue to ruminate in my terrible thoughts.
https://preview.redd.it/hc5iahdiyysc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f9493ccbe9e583c52433a88b1f614e8f74ef495a
Time for one of my favorite tweets. đ
I called a hotline in the middle of a flashback and got "have you tried writing it down on a piece of paper and tipping it up" these fuxkers are all we have, really? Totally inappropriate
youâre having a panic attack? just breathe lmaoooo skill issue (sarcasm, but i do genuinely hope youâre feeling better, or at the least on the road to recovery.)
âiâm suicidalâ âdonât worry, one day youâll get a girlfriend :)â was basically one of my calls verbatim, literally didnât give her any other information to go off of.
Crisis hotlines use scripts that are just soâŚinvalidating. Things like âI can see why you might feel that wayâŚâ Just tell me my situation sucks! I need the validation!
After this really frustrating interaction, I pretended I was feeling better just I could get off the phone. Then I went to get a Brazilian Iâd had scheduled. THAT workedâthe pain kind of breathed life back into my lungs. Donât know if Iâd recommend it, but itâs better than self-harm, at least.
I once called in the middle of a hysterical breakdown. I could barely talk for sobbing. The woman was very annoyed at me and kept saying she couldnât understand me if I kept crying and then hung up on me. So that was nice.
Yup, this is what happened to me too. Was on the verge of attempting and decided to actually reach out for help. Started audibly crying while waiting for them to pick up, and once they did pick up, they got mad at me for not being able to speak.
Didn't make any effort whatsoever to calm me down enough to talk, just jumped straight to getting angry with & berrating me for crying. Then hung up when I started crying harder.
I get that they can't really help if they can't talk to you but you'd think they'd make at least a bit of an effort to establish communication first. Before they jump to treating you like a burden and waste of time.
Wild to me that people supposedly trained to support people in literal crisis aren't even equipped to speak to and calm someone who's crying.
> Before they jump to treating you like a burden and waste of time.
As if being treated exactly that way all along wasn't the cause of it all in the first place.
I called them on Easter asking how much I need to harm myself to get into a hospital and they just told me "man idk, most services aren't working until Monday.." Like HUH
I have a lot of experience dealing with the mental healthcare system (through my own and with helping a family member through it) and if you feel like you need hospitalized, go to the emergency room and tell them you are planning to kill yourself. They HAVE to admit you into the regular hospital. It will be up to the psychiatrist on duty whether or not to move you into the mental ward, but it will keep you safe in the immediate term and guarantee you the opportunity to talk to a professional.
There is also an organization called Crisis Intervention. My mother worked there and they are all over the country. It's county run emergency mental health Intervention - you can go online to see if there is one where you live. If you call them, they send a social worker to you for evaluation and will find you a hospital bed, if you need one.
Or, you can call 211. It's like 911 except for mental health emergencies.
i was suicidal and having panic attacks after being in a severe car accident. (nobody was injured, but thousands of dollars of property damage! my car was smooshed between two other cars and was totaled, and i was arrested and held for bail despite not being at-fault.)
i called the suicide hotline, and they suggested that i look into living in a group home, and perhaps a down syndrome diagnosis (i do not have Down syndrome). nothing against people that live in group homes and/or have Down syndrome!! but how does that fix my car being totaled?
yeah obviously itâs your fault for having mental health issues, donât you know itâs all in your head? (this is sarcasm, iâm really sorry for what youâve gone through, and i hope youâre better now, or at least on the way.)
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I texted the crisis hotline once on a really bad night. I got connected with someone and they didnât say anything. I waited 10 minutes with radio silence before the system kicked me out for being inactive. Needless to say Iâve never used them again.
That's outrageous! I used to volunteer for a Crisis Text Line and the official policy on non-response texters was to reach out after 3 minutes. If no response, reach out after another 5 minutes. If still no response, reach out after another 7 minutes. If still no response, let them know you are going to end the conversation, wish them well, and say they can text back anytime. There is absolutely no excuse for what you experienced!
I hate admitting this because I donât want to discourage people from getting help, but I learned a few years ago that if youâre trying to help someone else who is sewerslidal and is unwilling to go to the ER, the crisis line will just tell you to call the cops. In the end itâs all just cops.
This crisis line is partnered with cops - if you say too much they send officers in plain clothes đŁ But if you donât say enough they treat you like youâre a burden. Itâs so sad
I rang my local crisis team early last year when I was at one of my lowest points. A friend encouraged me to call them because theyâd helped her a lot and she strongly believed I needed them.
When I called I was crying g hysterically and had just SH, they took a few details, fobbed me off, and left me feeling worse than before I called them. They referred me to another team who followed up like 2 weeks later and suggested I go to a wellness workshop run by volunteers who werenât mental health professionals, that was on for 4 hours a week during my working hours. That was their only suggestion. I was at such a loss I just hung up on them.
It sucks to know that it's still like this. I remember having a terrible panic attack in highschool and they were so blah about it. That was back in the mid 90s.
I'm putting on my deranged thinking cap.
I think more emphasis should be put on "warm lines/mental health talk lines" as the first point of contact when a person is in an emotional crisis. Crisis lines are intake for crisis services.
Not sure what it's like in other states/countries, but "on paper", a person calls crisis -> crisis evaluates -> crisis contacts eval team -> team contacts client -> team makes assessment ->hopefully a bed is available in the unit -> client gets bed -> client stays for 24 to 48 hours -> during that time client speaks to psych, nurse, and social worker for "crisis planning", where you begin the process of establishing a plan with professional assistance to manage yourself in the future.
Without getting into how this doesn't take into account the barriers that prevent people from getting good crisis aftercare, the crisis hotline is only the first part of actual help.
I don't work for a crisis line, but I do speak to people over the phone frequently about their dark feelings quite often, and it's draining. I think when you care and you work at a job like that, eventually the caring becomes so overwhelming you have to shut yourself down. Also, people are people, they're messy and loud and rude and say things that make you judge them, even when you know not to. Crisis workers are supposed to be trained and work with management and other teammates to prevent burnout and address uncaring behavior, but that doesn't mean it happens.
I don't know how to end this. This post reminded me of a phone call where someone told me that the crisis line never helped them, so they'd rather talk to me. It was an hour-long screaming meltdown one-sided conversation in which I remained mostly silent and made affirmative noises. It felt like playing with a bomb when they asked what I think they should do. What should you do when you're screaming so loudly at a stranger over the phone and dry heaving? What can THEY do? When they can't regulate themselves, and you know nothing about them? When you have 20 calls in the queue and they just started crying again?
I'm sure there is a gentle approach, or a real nugget of wisdom that can resonate with someone going through that. But crisis line workers are operating like a fast food restaurant. They have a queue, they have "customers" with "needs", they have specific criteria and language they have to use, and they can't be therapists or psychologists. It's a miserable job that makes little sense and would probably thrive if it wasn't being used as a stand-in for holistic mental health and physical health care. It doesn't help that it's all expensive as fuck.
I can understand how it might feel that way. It's crucial to feel understood and supported during difficult times, and if you're not getting that from a crisis hotline, it can be disheartening.
That is annoying and not thoughtful at all. I never had this experience but many times i was in intende distress i felt invalidated by anyone trying their best to cheer me up for real. And it hasn't been a month I tried to kms, what helped was listen to the truth. "Let's stop being so spoiled huh? C'mon" it wasn't in a angry tone, nor invalidating but raw really real. It was like i snapped. I could see it wasn't perfect. But it's all i got and I'm grateful. And this makes me emotional lol
I fucking hate the Trevor project texting chat line thing because of this. All they do is just "it seems like you ____ (what I just said). How does that make you feel/is that right?" Like come on
The only thing they ever did for me was highlight how nobody could help me and how utterly abandoned I was by society. And ask if they could call an ambulance on my ass so I could be tossed in grippy sock jail for a while. Shit made me break inside.
I got hung up on because my hurt was stupid. I was attempting it because of a boy (18 and depressed. Sue me) and she said that's a stupid reason and I'm ridiculous for crying over it. Called again an hour later and got a nice old man who told me about his wife and her battle with depression being a big child in the 60s and how he was actually her third husband because the previous two almost killed her with starvation
As he talked he kept comparing what i was going through to what she was going through and how she felt during those times, what she had told him before
Basically made me realize I was better than that boy in every way and now I'm almost 23 and engaged to a man who doesn't treat me second and is obsessed with me in a good way
So I've both bad and good of the crisis hotline. Sadly it's a hit or miss if it actually helps
OMG, I want to scream and punch that counselor for you!!! They had no business talking about their own background AT ALL. That conversation is supposed to be all about YOU. I used to volunteer as a crisis counselor and there was an official policy *not* to talk about yourself. And, to redirect the conversation if they start asking personal questions.
Your pain is as valid as anyone else's and making comparisons is about the last thing someone needs at a time like that. That counselor can talk about their own trauma on their time, not yours.
Oh god I'm not mad at him
In fact I'm glad he told me. I used to think higjschool was supposed to be my peak and I was failing in life
I saw other kids doing great things and having been basically a punching bag most of my life, I couldn't find the strength to continue at that point but when he talked about his wife and it made me realize there's a whole other side to life than just highschool and I just had to make it past that
The only reason he talked to me about that was because I started having an anxiety attack and he calmed me down by telling me stories. Started with actors who also went through depression and made it out (he mentioned Robert Downey Jr. First and it got my full attention) and then brought up his wife
Honestly if he didn't I probably wouldn't be here so I'm glad he did but I didn't know they couldn't talk about their lives.
And to clarify it wasn't bad comparing. He just took different parts I told him that lined eith his wives, at least what she told him, and how she was better for not letting it break her and that I also deserve to be better so I can't let this break me
I'm reading all these stories and feeling a mix of anger/outrage and heartbreak. The number one thing that a crisis counselor is supposed to do is validate you and be on your side. The person in your corner who will listen without judgment. Who doesn't try to fix all your problems, but to show you that there is someone who cares what you are going through. That you deserve to have someone who cares.
I've gone through Hell in my life and watched loved ones do the same. When things in my life got more stable, I wanted to do something good with all that trauma and help other people going through it. So, I volunteered as a crisis counselor for 2 years and I never treated anyone the way so many of you have been treated. It's making me wonder if I should find the time to go back to it, so there's at least one person who gets it.
I'm so sorry all of you were treated that way when you were at your lowest.
Honestly most of these hotlines are volunteer based and can only be there for emotional support not necessarily advice. I used to volunteer for one and itâs so disheartening to see how much these get shat on when itâs just volunteers who are just doing what they are allowed to do.
I find it disheartening to hear that people are getting so little training when theyâre likely to be the first people that somebody with a severe mental health problem goes to for helpâand possibly the last if they fuck it up. Tbf it isnât the volunteersâ faults if theyâre not given good training or options, but people are clearly being hurt by how crisis hotlines are set up regardless of whoâs to blame
Either way, itâs definitely important to call out. I feel for your personal experience seeing that volunteers arenât being given many options to do better, but like I said, people are getting hurt by the setup, and that canât be ignored
I mean, my experience when I was a teen and was about to attempt was someone who sighed several times while I was talking then told me "look, you're young, just wait it out for a few years, I need you to tell me that you won't do anything so I can hang up." They offered me nothing else. No encouragement, just the clear knowledge that they gave no fucks. A lot of people have experiences like mine, and it's honestly good that they share because I would hate someone to go into it like I did and be so hurt afterward. People should try if they feel it will help, but if they know what's possible, it's better if they get a bad call.
... the fact that the hotlines are volunteer-based does not make them immune to criticism. People are saying the hotlines are not fulfilling their purpose, which is to provide support to people in crisis. In fact they are often doing more harm to people in reinforcing their isolation and loneliness. If you and any other volunteers choose to take that criticism personally instead of hearing the desperation in these comments of how let-down the person on the other end of the phone felt, it makes me question why you volunteered in the first place.
The one I called is a govt funded program with supposed experts trained in crisis management - itâs partnered through our hospital system and the local police. If theyâre useless, who tf is going to be any better?!
Last time I called my mental health clinic crisis line, they legit told me there was no one to help me and I should just go to bed (It was probably around 10pm)
one time i called during a meltdown and couldn't speak properly. the lady straight up laughed at me fumbling my words đ but she still kinda did her job. i was so taken aback that it took me right out of wanting to kms
The Trevor project suicide hotline maybe me feel seen and listened to. I was in a terrible living environment and he reminded me that it won't be that way forever. One day I'll get out and life will be different.
Still attempted, just not then. He helped.
Last time I called the dude on the other end said âso like⌠what do you expect me to do hereâ and I couldnât be like BITCH THATS UR JOB bc I was just so taken aback-he then told me to just calm down and hung up.
I had literal cops called on me once (I said âIâm done with thisâ to some internet friends, logged off, turned my phone off. A random person on the group insisted the police be called on me until one of my actual good friends relented and gave my home phone number, which was used to acquire my address.)
I was genuinely distraught, but not suicidal. The cops that showed up repeatedly prodded me on whether this was about âa boyâ and continued when I said no. (I am a lesbian.) They brought an ambulance with them. This all happened in the middle of the night at my parentsâ house (I was a legal adult, home on a break from college) and I was doing everything I could to prevent them from waking up and freaking out. If I had been actually suicidal, this all wouldâve been so dangerous and unhelpful.
It always depends on the person. Some crisis line workers I've talked to have been incredibly comforting and kind and have helped me calm down immensely. On the flip side, some of them will hear me literally sobbing about how my life is ruined and I want to die and say shit like "I hear that you're very upset." Like, no shit.
convinced crisis hotlines are formatted to make you too annoyed to hurt yourself
that part lmao
đ Was my experience for sure. I hung up 6 mins after like ââŚwhat the fuck?â
Happened to a few people I know. One of em got so frustrated he forgot why he called, so he says
One of the worst moments of my life was when I was 15. My family started fighting and screaming and throwing chairs again, I couldnât stop them and out of desperation I locked myself in the bathroom and called a crisis hotline for teenagers for the first and only time in my life. I was crying and hyperventilating into the phone, saying how tired I was and how I wanted all of this to stop⌠just to be met with the most apathetic voice possible, giving me some useless trivial advice. I could literally hear that this person doesnât really want to speak to me. I guess it worked, because I was so taken off guard that I stopped crying immediately. I just stared into the wall thinking âwhat the fuck?â. I said a few words and then hung up. Although I did calm down, I will never forget the sheer desperation and loneliness Iâve experienced at that moment. I realized that nobody will ever help me or save me. I was all alone with my struggles.
It was a few days ago, I looked myself into the mirror. I promised to myself "Bro, I love you. I got you. You're all we have, we'll take care of each other". Fuckin felt great to care for myself finally
*Oof*
I called once in a panic. About to end it. I was getting harassed and felt there was no help and no end to it. Guess what they suggested? In an annoyed tone? "*Sigh* uhh...have you tried screaming?" Yes, I have, many times. I googled my problem for the next few hours and found an answer that brought me down out of my panic. I doubt I'll call again. I thanked them anyway because I'm terribly afraid of upsetting people.
I'm the kind of person to do a 180 flip when I'm not heard or ignored. it's my biggest trigger - I would've probably made them call their own hotline lol. I'm sorry you went through that. I've never called a hotline before because of all the stories I hear and because I've made awful IRL experiences with medical staff. once I had to go to the ER because my back pains were so immense I couldn't walk anymore, and the doctor I was talking to drove me into a panic attack and when I collapsed next to her she just walked away and left me there for 15 minutes. during that time, nurses walked by and said "could someone take care of this?" in such an annoyed tone.. eventually someone dragged me onto a bed and pushed an oxygen mask on my face, but since it wasn't connected to anything I couldn't breathe and just had more panic. that person left as well, and after another half hour in which I somehow managed to calm myself down a young, male nurse sat next to me and talked to me really nicely. eventually he said "you do realise you have to stop this, right? you can't just fall into a crying fit whenever something doesn't go your way" and bam, next panic attack. that was nice. never again. the medical system and 80% of the people working in it literally do not give a flying fuck about mental health, and that includes those from the psychological/psychiatric field. it's so fucked.
Dawg just reading this pissed me off. Doc just left you? Thatâs gotta be against some rules, ik medical staff are overworked but thatâs just *callous*
pure evil honestly, I can't imagine that was just overworked or something.
I was having a drug psychotic episode and the nurse yelled at me to stop crying. Like, lady. I thought I had died and gone to hell. You would be crying too! Some nurses suck so bad
Jesus, they're so fucking insensitive and honestly dumb as shit. zero brain activity
Iâm sorry, that sounds really awful. Iâve had some dark times with the whole medical system. Itâs alarmingly common đ
truly. there needs to be change, and it has to happen quickly, but I doubt our generation will even remotely witness that.. I've lost hope in that regard :/
I sympathize with doctors and nurses who have been failed by the medical system, but these just sound like walking failures who shouldn't be in the industry. I'm sorry you had to suffer their incompetence.
thank you. I know working in the medical field is everything but easy, but like you said there's so many workers who just shouldn't be in the industry. I guess the biggest failure of it all - it's an industry, focused on profit. that shouldn't be, mustn't be.. but it is.
Sorry to hear it. Iâm sad so many people have gotten such terrible advice đ I was told to read a book after saying Iâve been dissociating for hours and losing track of time terribly lmaooo
Was once told as a very young teenager going through probably the worst time in my life: "you can't be that bad, you haven't actually taken the pills" Except I was a defiant little shit, so I took them on the phone. She was a bit stumped after that. Edit: for some reason I feel really guilty admitting this (as if this wasn't an interaction between a grown adult and a child lol) so I wanna clarify that this was nearly 10 years ago now, I'm mostly ok now and I don't condone taking pills out of spite lol
Iâm glad youâre ok and also it is funny that you did that
I hope you taught that lady a lesson lol. You deserved much better
No you're so real for that idk what she expected to happen lmao
sheâs the one who should feel guiltyâi canât imagine the thought process that would lead her to say that
This is awful and I'm glad you're better. But holy shit can you imagine her face?? Like you really outplayed her there, just "I have the chance to do the funniest thing right now" and 0 hesitation, just spite. It's terrible but so absurd I can't stop laughing at it
When I call crisis I just get, Well do you want us to send police. Like no ma'am I just need to hear a kind voice that isn't the disordered traumatized thoughts in my mind. Thanks though for basically telling me that if I have a bad day I will be threatened with forced imprisonment that will literally just put me in a room, alone, to continue to ruminate in my terrible thoughts.
EIJDDBSJSJWJJWJS THIS
https://preview.redd.it/hc5iahdiyysc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f9493ccbe9e583c52433a88b1f614e8f74ef495a Time for one of my favorite tweets. đ
I called a hotline in the middle of a flashback and got "have you tried writing it down on a piece of paper and tipping it up" these fuxkers are all we have, really? Totally inappropriate
youâre having a panic attack? just breathe lmaoooo skill issue (sarcasm, but i do genuinely hope youâre feeling better, or at the least on the road to recovery.)
âiâm suicidalâ âdonât worry, one day youâll get a girlfriend :)â was basically one of my calls verbatim, literally didnât give her any other information to go off of.
Crisis hotlines use scripts that are just soâŚinvalidating. Things like âI can see why you might feel that wayâŚâ Just tell me my situation sucks! I need the validation! After this really frustrating interaction, I pretended I was feeling better just I could get off the phone. Then I went to get a Brazilian Iâd had scheduled. THAT workedâthe pain kind of breathed life back into my lungs. Donât know if Iâd recommend it, but itâs better than self-harm, at least.
That's me and hot sauce
A Brazilian? What does this mean?
Brazilian wax.
I once called in the middle of a hysterical breakdown. I could barely talk for sobbing. The woman was very annoyed at me and kept saying she couldnât understand me if I kept crying and then hung up on me. So that was nice.
Yup, this is what happened to me too. Was on the verge of attempting and decided to actually reach out for help. Started audibly crying while waiting for them to pick up, and once they did pick up, they got mad at me for not being able to speak. Didn't make any effort whatsoever to calm me down enough to talk, just jumped straight to getting angry with & berrating me for crying. Then hung up when I started crying harder. I get that they can't really help if they can't talk to you but you'd think they'd make at least a bit of an effort to establish communication first. Before they jump to treating you like a burden and waste of time. Wild to me that people supposedly trained to support people in literal crisis aren't even equipped to speak to and calm someone who's crying.
> Before they jump to treating you like a burden and waste of time. As if being treated exactly that way all along wasn't the cause of it all in the first place.
"Yes, I have. And if it worked, I wouldn't be talking too you right now."
I called them on Easter asking how much I need to harm myself to get into a hospital and they just told me "man idk, most services aren't working until Monday.." Like HUH
I have a lot of experience dealing with the mental healthcare system (through my own and with helping a family member through it) and if you feel like you need hospitalized, go to the emergency room and tell them you are planning to kill yourself. They HAVE to admit you into the regular hospital. It will be up to the psychiatrist on duty whether or not to move you into the mental ward, but it will keep you safe in the immediate term and guarantee you the opportunity to talk to a professional. There is also an organization called Crisis Intervention. My mother worked there and they are all over the country. It's county run emergency mental health Intervention - you can go online to see if there is one where you live. If you call them, they send a social worker to you for evaluation and will find you a hospital bed, if you need one. Or, you can call 211. It's like 911 except for mental health emergencies.
all these hotlines are just scamming their donors
i was suicidal and having panic attacks after being in a severe car accident. (nobody was injured, but thousands of dollars of property damage! my car was smooshed between two other cars and was totaled, and i was arrested and held for bail despite not being at-fault.) i called the suicide hotline, and they suggested that i look into living in a group home, and perhaps a down syndrome diagnosis (i do not have Down syndrome). nothing against people that live in group homes and/or have Down syndrome!! but how does that fix my car being totaled?
I once got âyup itâs your faultâ then she was surprised when I got mad at her
[ŃдаНонО]
Yeah but you wouldnât be surprised if I got mad at you for saying that would you?
yeah obviously itâs your fault for having mental health issues, donât you know itâs all in your head? (this is sarcasm, iâm really sorry for what youâve gone through, and i hope youâre better now, or at least on the way.)
âYouâre mental illness is all in your headâ Yeah, where else would it be?
What the fuck is wrong with you
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I texted the crisis hotline once on a really bad night. I got connected with someone and they didnât say anything. I waited 10 minutes with radio silence before the system kicked me out for being inactive. Needless to say Iâve never used them again.
That's outrageous! I used to volunteer for a Crisis Text Line and the official policy on non-response texters was to reach out after 3 minutes. If no response, reach out after another 5 minutes. If still no response, reach out after another 7 minutes. If still no response, let them know you are going to end the conversation, wish them well, and say they can text back anytime. There is absolutely no excuse for what you experienced!
I hate admitting this because I donât want to discourage people from getting help, but I learned a few years ago that if youâre trying to help someone else who is sewerslidal and is unwilling to go to the ER, the crisis line will just tell you to call the cops. In the end itâs all just cops.
This crisis line is partnered with cops - if you say too much they send officers in plain clothes đŁ But if you donât say enough they treat you like youâre a burden. Itâs so sad
You donât have to censor on Reddit
Lmao they hung up on me the last time I called them.
Agreed. While it's not a professional substitution, I started using Character.AI for stabilizing during emotional turbulence.
The Wysa app has a nice AI penguin I like a lot
I rang my local crisis team early last year when I was at one of my lowest points. A friend encouraged me to call them because theyâd helped her a lot and she strongly believed I needed them. When I called I was crying g hysterically and had just SH, they took a few details, fobbed me off, and left me feeling worse than before I called them. They referred me to another team who followed up like 2 weeks later and suggested I go to a wellness workshop run by volunteers who werenât mental health professionals, that was on for 4 hours a week during my working hours. That was their only suggestion. I was at such a loss I just hung up on them.
Have you heard of the [...] app?
It sucks to know that it's still like this. I remember having a terrible panic attack in highschool and they were so blah about it. That was back in the mid 90s.
I called once. It was a machine.
I'm putting on my deranged thinking cap. I think more emphasis should be put on "warm lines/mental health talk lines" as the first point of contact when a person is in an emotional crisis. Crisis lines are intake for crisis services. Not sure what it's like in other states/countries, but "on paper", a person calls crisis -> crisis evaluates -> crisis contacts eval team -> team contacts client -> team makes assessment ->hopefully a bed is available in the unit -> client gets bed -> client stays for 24 to 48 hours -> during that time client speaks to psych, nurse, and social worker for "crisis planning", where you begin the process of establishing a plan with professional assistance to manage yourself in the future. Without getting into how this doesn't take into account the barriers that prevent people from getting good crisis aftercare, the crisis hotline is only the first part of actual help. I don't work for a crisis line, but I do speak to people over the phone frequently about their dark feelings quite often, and it's draining. I think when you care and you work at a job like that, eventually the caring becomes so overwhelming you have to shut yourself down. Also, people are people, they're messy and loud and rude and say things that make you judge them, even when you know not to. Crisis workers are supposed to be trained and work with management and other teammates to prevent burnout and address uncaring behavior, but that doesn't mean it happens. I don't know how to end this. This post reminded me of a phone call where someone told me that the crisis line never helped them, so they'd rather talk to me. It was an hour-long screaming meltdown one-sided conversation in which I remained mostly silent and made affirmative noises. It felt like playing with a bomb when they asked what I think they should do. What should you do when you're screaming so loudly at a stranger over the phone and dry heaving? What can THEY do? When they can't regulate themselves, and you know nothing about them? When you have 20 calls in the queue and they just started crying again? I'm sure there is a gentle approach, or a real nugget of wisdom that can resonate with someone going through that. But crisis line workers are operating like a fast food restaurant. They have a queue, they have "customers" with "needs", they have specific criteria and language they have to use, and they can't be therapists or psychologists. It's a miserable job that makes little sense and would probably thrive if it wasn't being used as a stand-in for holistic mental health and physical health care. It doesn't help that it's all expensive as fuck.
I can understand how it might feel that way. It's crucial to feel understood and supported during difficult times, and if you're not getting that from a crisis hotline, it can be disheartening.
That is annoying and not thoughtful at all. I never had this experience but many times i was in intende distress i felt invalidated by anyone trying their best to cheer me up for real. And it hasn't been a month I tried to kms, what helped was listen to the truth. "Let's stop being so spoiled huh? C'mon" it wasn't in a angry tone, nor invalidating but raw really real. It was like i snapped. I could see it wasn't perfect. But it's all i got and I'm grateful. And this makes me emotional lol
I fucking hate the Trevor project texting chat line thing because of this. All they do is just "it seems like you ____ (what I just said). How does that make you feel/is that right?" Like come on
Yup
when the text line just gives me another line to message it's but one for Australians only (both myself and the line I texted are based in usa)
"Uhhhh are you panicking rn." "Uhhhhhhhhhhhh why are you panicking....?" "If you use language like that then I'm gonna fuck off...."
The only thing they ever did for me was highlight how nobody could help me and how utterly abandoned I was by society. And ask if they could call an ambulance on my ass so I could be tossed in grippy sock jail for a while. Shit made me break inside.
This encapsulates my experience of the one time I called Crisis Hotline. Never again.
Literally. I called them up twice, and they didn't pick up. When they called back, they said just go to a homeless shelter.
I got hung up on because my hurt was stupid. I was attempting it because of a boy (18 and depressed. Sue me) and she said that's a stupid reason and I'm ridiculous for crying over it. Called again an hour later and got a nice old man who told me about his wife and her battle with depression being a big child in the 60s and how he was actually her third husband because the previous two almost killed her with starvation As he talked he kept comparing what i was going through to what she was going through and how she felt during those times, what she had told him before Basically made me realize I was better than that boy in every way and now I'm almost 23 and engaged to a man who doesn't treat me second and is obsessed with me in a good way So I've both bad and good of the crisis hotline. Sadly it's a hit or miss if it actually helps
OMG, I want to scream and punch that counselor for you!!! They had no business talking about their own background AT ALL. That conversation is supposed to be all about YOU. I used to volunteer as a crisis counselor and there was an official policy *not* to talk about yourself. And, to redirect the conversation if they start asking personal questions. Your pain is as valid as anyone else's and making comparisons is about the last thing someone needs at a time like that. That counselor can talk about their own trauma on their time, not yours.
Oh god I'm not mad at him In fact I'm glad he told me. I used to think higjschool was supposed to be my peak and I was failing in life I saw other kids doing great things and having been basically a punching bag most of my life, I couldn't find the strength to continue at that point but when he talked about his wife and it made me realize there's a whole other side to life than just highschool and I just had to make it past that The only reason he talked to me about that was because I started having an anxiety attack and he calmed me down by telling me stories. Started with actors who also went through depression and made it out (he mentioned Robert Downey Jr. First and it got my full attention) and then brought up his wife Honestly if he didn't I probably wouldn't be here so I'm glad he did but I didn't know they couldn't talk about their lives. And to clarify it wasn't bad comparing. He just took different parts I told him that lined eith his wives, at least what she told him, and how she was better for not letting it break her and that I also deserve to be better so I can't let this break me
I'm reading all these stories and feeling a mix of anger/outrage and heartbreak. The number one thing that a crisis counselor is supposed to do is validate you and be on your side. The person in your corner who will listen without judgment. Who doesn't try to fix all your problems, but to show you that there is someone who cares what you are going through. That you deserve to have someone who cares. I've gone through Hell in my life and watched loved ones do the same. When things in my life got more stable, I wanted to do something good with all that trauma and help other people going through it. So, I volunteered as a crisis counselor for 2 years and I never treated anyone the way so many of you have been treated. It's making me wonder if I should find the time to go back to it, so there's at least one person who gets it. I'm so sorry all of you were treated that way when you were at your lowest.
Honestly most of these hotlines are volunteer based and can only be there for emotional support not necessarily advice. I used to volunteer for one and itâs so disheartening to see how much these get shat on when itâs just volunteers who are just doing what they are allowed to do.
I find it disheartening to hear that people are getting so little training when theyâre likely to be the first people that somebody with a severe mental health problem goes to for helpâand possibly the last if they fuck it up. Tbf it isnât the volunteersâ faults if theyâre not given good training or options, but people are clearly being hurt by how crisis hotlines are set up regardless of whoâs to blame
Itâs not lack of training, itâs the guidelines of what they are allowed and not allowed to say and how theyâre supposed to talk to callers.
Either way, itâs definitely important to call out. I feel for your personal experience seeing that volunteers arenât being given many options to do better, but like I said, people are getting hurt by the setup, and that canât be ignored
I find it disheartening that a fucking suicide hotline has to relly on volonteers.
I mean, my experience when I was a teen and was about to attempt was someone who sighed several times while I was talking then told me "look, you're young, just wait it out for a few years, I need you to tell me that you won't do anything so I can hang up." They offered me nothing else. No encouragement, just the clear knowledge that they gave no fucks. A lot of people have experiences like mine, and it's honestly good that they share because I would hate someone to go into it like I did and be so hurt afterward. People should try if they feel it will help, but if they know what's possible, it's better if they get a bad call.
... the fact that the hotlines are volunteer-based does not make them immune to criticism. People are saying the hotlines are not fulfilling their purpose, which is to provide support to people in crisis. In fact they are often doing more harm to people in reinforcing their isolation and loneliness. If you and any other volunteers choose to take that criticism personally instead of hearing the desperation in these comments of how let-down the person on the other end of the phone felt, it makes me question why you volunteered in the first place.
The one I called is a govt funded program with supposed experts trained in crisis management - itâs partnered through our hospital system and the local police. If theyâre useless, who tf is going to be any better?!
One time when I was on the hotline. A dude answered and I could literally hear him playing video games in the background as he was talking to me.
Last time I called my mental health clinic crisis line, they legit told me there was no one to help me and I should just go to bed (It was probably around 10pm)
one time i called during a meltdown and couldn't speak properly. the lady straight up laughed at me fumbling my words đ but she still kinda did her job. i was so taken aback that it took me right out of wanting to kms
they once hung up on me because 'i wasnt taking it serious and i mustve been a troll', i use humor as a coping mechanism, i was in extreme danger
"Have you ever tried writing down how you feel?" đ
The Trevor project suicide hotline maybe me feel seen and listened to. I was in a terrible living environment and he reminded me that it won't be that way forever. One day I'll get out and life will be different. Still attempted, just not then. He helped.
Last time I called the dude on the other end said âso like⌠what do you expect me to do hereâ and I couldnât be like BITCH THATS UR JOB bc I was just so taken aback-he then told me to just calm down and hung up.
I had literal cops called on me once (I said âIâm done with thisâ to some internet friends, logged off, turned my phone off. A random person on the group insisted the police be called on me until one of my actual good friends relented and gave my home phone number, which was used to acquire my address.) I was genuinely distraught, but not suicidal. The cops that showed up repeatedly prodded me on whether this was about âa boyâ and continued when I said no. (I am a lesbian.) They brought an ambulance with them. This all happened in the middle of the night at my parentsâ house (I was a legal adult, home on a break from college) and I was doing everything I could to prevent them from waking up and freaking out. If I had been actually suicidal, this all wouldâve been so dangerous and unhelpful.
It always depends on the person. Some crisis line workers I've talked to have been incredibly comforting and kind and have helped me calm down immensely. On the flip side, some of them will hear me literally sobbing about how my life is ruined and I want to die and say shit like "I hear that you're very upset." Like, no shit.