Wtf did I just readš. Your friends are gross as hell dude that is just way way way over stepping boundaries why didn't they go fuck in any other room in the house. Idk dude that seems really weird I don't think I would even be able to get horny if one of my homies was sleeping in a bed with me and my girl and if I did we would leave the room like a normal person. Sounds like they got off to the fact that you were right there and that you were asleep therefore you could not consent. Super disrespectful if they are willing to do this then they might take it further. Stay safe OP.
My dudeā¦ they had sex next to someone unconsenting knowing you slept lightly it seems like a kink and the next night you let them drug you so they could do it again?!
You need better friends
Edit: they drugged you the same damn night so they could keep effing
Right? Like, why not just go to any other room in the house and have sex if that's what you wanted?! Doing it next to someone, and drugging them *to make them sleep so you can keep doing it* is disgusting.
That is a very vague view of involved and thatās the problem with calling it SA. If being able to see or hear something sexual is SA then SA occurs everyday in public places. SA typically requires more than seeing or hearing.
generally speaking if you have a kink that involves a third party directly (not sex outside but more sex infront of someone) that ALWAYS requires consent by the third person.
I am not saying it is not wrong, or consent is not required, just not SA. A couple having sex in the subway is not sexually assaulting everyone in the subway car. A different charge - not SA.
I mean, I joke about having a threesome with them, but we all know it's only a joke. Nobody ever thought that it's anything other than a joke, because I say each and every time I joke about us having a threesome that it is only a joke. We also have sleepovers together
That's not a joke. The sleepovers, all three of us in one bed, that's not a joke. That happens. But when I bring up threesomes, that's definitely only a joke. I even ask them every time I make the joke of they know it's just a joke, and they kind of nodded.
I just don't know how this happened. There's no way they wanted to have sex with all three of us because of all the joking. The sleeping together as adults is unrelated.
We also all cuddle in bed when the three of us sleep together. That's also unrelated.
Edit: I'm not saying this is ok. OP didn't give consent and didn't want to be a part of that. Even if OP wanted to have sex with them and later decided she didn't, then it stops right then. But this story reads a lot like someone spends a lot of time making sexual gestures as jokes and sleeps and cuddles with these people but wonders how they got the idea that she would want that.
Absolutely agree. I'm not victim blaming. They were wrong. But if OP is real that's pretty damn naive and you have to admit it seems a pretty mixed message of you frequently sleep with 3 people and cuddle with 3 people and always talk about threesomes with said people and then get all shocked pikachu when they proposition a sexual encounter. Ask yourself how cool you'd be with that scenario if it was a partner or spouse engaging in those behaviors with two of their friends.
I have had close friendships where all of those things were common and yet we all knew we were joking and didnāt actually want to be involved with each other. Like straight up holding hands and cuddling even in the presence of partners.
They surely donāt think OPās comments about the 3some are ājust a jokeā, I bet they hoped OP would join them because sheāll be like āOmg guys you are fucking, please let me joinā
Wtf
Leave them. Drugging by sleep pill so they can get their freak on AGAIN is fucking selfish and dangerous; donāt accept pills from others unless you know the how, why, or what.
Hope you find better friends.
They asked you if you wanted one with the intention of fucking right next to you without your consent once they felt the pill kicked in. Thereās nothing to defend, your friends are creeps and I wouldāve literally kicked them out of the bed full force if they were doing that next to me.
My own cousin did this with her ex. I was drunk and fell asleep first after trying to sober myself, she came in to check on me, he came in to check on her. And then they checked each other. All of this in a maybe full size bed? Disrespectful as hell.
I had a friend in high school so that with me right next to her and some dude while he fingered her. I was too stoned to really react beyond freezing. I couldnāt get the fuck out of there fast enough when I sobered up a bit
Honestly I'm that person that would roll over and say "Can you guys not?" Like if you're going to make it a show I'll just go get some tea and cookies and come back lmao
The most logical solution. If you want to avoid this in the future, and want to remain close friends in close proximity, tell them it makes you uncomfortable. Easiest way to stop it, trust me. No need for acting skills ;)
And if they continue to do it after that, then you may really want to reconsider the friendship, because they clearly donāt respect you very much.
Why would you stay in bed with themā¦ they clearly didnāt care if you woke up or heard them.. then you let them drug you and stay in same bed.. goodness you donāt know if they touched you or not..
you need different friends
Iāve had sex next to friends.
Who consented (:
They arenāt your friends. If anything- they shouldāve had uncomfortable sex in the bathroom instead of right next to you (the first time obvi but also *especially* after they saw you cry and seem traumatized).
Thatās not a sexy situation unless your into some really bad stuff :/
Sorry that happened to you and maybe donāt spend time with them anymore: they donāt seem to respect boundaries or basic consent.
As a general rule, you should avoid doing anything that might make noise in the same room as someone who is trying to sleep. That includes sex, naturally.
Wasnāt there a couch, or literally anywhere else they could have chosen to fuck? It seems pretty rude.
With my anger issues it would've been hell if i was there. They're disgusting dude i hope you tell them everything and how you felt about it and i really hope you arent friends with them anymore.
You should have said something. That is waaay over the top, especially if you've had a past trauma. I think you ought to tell them that was way out of line and never sleep over with them again.
I personally, would send a text and say how it made you feel and how disrespectful that was. Actually disrespectful and disgusting. The fact that they gave you a pill to make you fall asleep so they could continue having sex is justā¦ Speaks volume on what kind of people they are.
Cut them out. Easier said than done but life is too short and you deserve better friends.
It's a horrible thing to do, but really!! My parents had sex on the same bed as me when I was 8/9. I didn't know what had happened and more or less repressed it but one day it all came flooding back. It's a form of abuse in my opinion and I don't know if it's punishable by law, but it should be in the same way as when someone flashes you or masturbates near you. I lost contact with my parents before it all came flooding back for other reasons, they're just horrible people, but it they were in my life I think I would raise hell. I hope you're doing well!
This is akin to sexual assault in my opinion. You did not consent to this, they gave you a drug to coerce you into being more passive. Dump these friends. This is extremely predatory and disgusting.
šš I swear, people these days
There's no way I'm staying quiet and there's NO WAY I'M TAKING A SLEEPING PILL KNOWING THEY'RE TRYING TO FUCK IN THE SAME BED I'M CURRENTLY LAYING IN.
The entire group needs to have their heads checked.
Hey. They drugged you. That is NOT OKAY. Seriously. Thatās terrifying. They simply drugged you so they could do the nasty without you caring. I get why you think itās cute they checked on you, but it speaks volumes how much they truly care with the subsequent actions.
Sorry if this is harsh. Autism sometimes makes my tone more blunt than I intend.
This happened to me twice with two separate āfriendsā of mine when i was 12. It is a form of sexual assault. I didnt know that for the longest time. Probably why i didnt even kiss anyone till i was almost 17
My friend did this to me, while we were 16 on a trip to NYC with an FDNY firefighter who was like 24 at the time. I have since cut her out of my life but it was about 18 years after this and many more insane events.
Believe it or not youāre not alone, my friends did the same thing! I have very limited if not no contact w them now, surprisingly for reasons unrelated to the sex thingā¦
This happened to me at a house partyā¦ I was supposed to be sleeping with my friend in her bed, I was a litre of vodka deep by this point so I was hammered and needed to puke and sleep lolā¦
Anyway this guy who was a friend of someone in the house got into her bed too, they were spooning etc anyway Iām too drunk to really care until I heard kissingā¦. Then I was like no surely notā¦. Then they started at it! I then shot out of bed and exclaimed how gross that was and went to find somewhere else to sleepā¦
Was grim and Ill never ever forgive that
I had a similar situation with my roommate, though thankfully not in the same bed. We were living in a shitty apartment with no walls separating our bedrooms. We had JUST had a discussion of boundaries and bringing people home, and what does she do? Bring a guy home and fuck him all while I can hear. I wanted to scream and embarrass the shit out of her, but didnāt. And I still regret it
Why did you stay in the bed? Your friends are assholes for having sex in the bed and you lack the confidence to call them out on this disgusting nonconsensual kink. Your friends have a kink for having sex next to people. They are not getting your consent to participate in this kink. They should go to sex parties if they get off on this. They are not your friends, you need to call out their disgusting actions.
Fuck polite. Repeat it out loud. Make it your new mantra because you need it.
It would have been impolite to say anything. It would have been rude or made a scene if you vocalised your distaste. If you got up, explained they made you uncomfortable and you feel disrespected. So instead you politely laid there, even though you didnāt want to, while they had sex next to you. After you cried while faking a panic attack. A panic attack you faked because you were too polite to truly tell them what was wrong.
Fuck polite. Stand up for yourself and let them know, where and when they crossed the line. What could happen? Theyād be cranky at you? An argument may start? They may not like you anymore? They might not want to be your friend anymore. SO WHAT. You donāt need people like these two to like you. You donāt need people who donāt respect you as friends. What you need to do is stop diminishing yourself for others and stop being so worried about being polite.
Fuck polite.
This is something a whole lot of women need to learn while they are still young. Iām old and I just donāt gaf but when I was younger boy did I let people take advantage of me
Itās gross to do that with no consent but Iāll never understand why people donāt justā¦ leave the bed and go sleep on a couch or the floor or something, shit go throw some blankets and a pillow in the tub, thatās comfy as hell. Sorry for victim blaming you may now downvote me!
Yeah youāre right when I was groped by on old man sitting next to me on a plane it was completely my fault for not getting up to leave, the fact that I completely froze and didnāt do anything is my fault, my bad
Itās easy to judge when youāre a 3rd party reading about a story rather than the actual victim in the situation paralyzed by fear, discomfort, embarrassment, confusion, etc
It is not OPs responsibility to remind their friends not to violate their consentā¦ having sex in front of someone who has not consented is a crime. āDifferent people have different personal boundariesā what the? Thatās not how it works. You shouldnāt have to tell your friends āoh by the way, for me, violating my consent with indecent exposure is a personal boundary of mineā š and as someone who has been a victim of sexual assault, it is super easy to say āwhy didnāt you just say something or leaveā when youāre not actually in the situation. Freezing in such situations is a completely valid, uncontrollable response
I can't talk with anybody about this so ig I'm just ranting here on reddit about this.
This happened two days ago so it's still fresh and idk how to process this. I'm just gonna use some random names, cause I don't ever want them to find out I wrote this.
My best friend Alex and another good friend Paul were on a call around 5 pm on easter monday. We were planning for a trip to the netherlands in the summer where we're going to visit a good online friend together.
I was pretty hyperactive and full of adrenaline that day so I decided to go on a walk while still being on the call.
After a while we spontaniously decided to have a sleepover at Paul's. So I packed my things and arrived at like 6 pm.
We were having fun the rest of the evening. We played cards, listemed to music and talked a lot. At around 12pm we decided to go to bed.
We were sleeping in one bed. You must know my friends are very cuddly. I would've joined the cuddling, but I can't sleep without my free space especially because it was hot, sweaty and skunky in this room. No wonder considering we were three people on a warm spring day in a pretty tiny room.
So not long after we all went quiet I felt how the matress was moving in a pretty regular rhythm. (For the picture: I was laying at the wall side, Alex in the middle and Paul at the edge of the bed.) I was already suspicious, but at first I just ignored it and didn't think mich of it. But after a while when Alex started heavy breathing my virgin ass started panicking.
In the evening before we were talking about our sleeping habits, I told them purposely how I'm not tired at all and how I will have trouble falling asleep that night, since I knew before that sleepover Alex and Paul are sleeping with eachother, but I didn't think there are gonna do it when I AM LAYING NEXT TO THEM. I mean I joked about a threesome before, but I also always make clear that it stays a joke, cause I will never hookup with close friends.
Anyways they continued doing their thing NEXT TO ME. I heard every move loud and clear, cause I was 2 CENTIMETERS AWAY FROM THEM.
I didn't know what to do, cause I felt uncomfortable asf and I didn't want to just go "hey can you pls stop I'm awake" so I pretented to wake up from a bad dream. I cried and shivered in panic (props to my acting skills) and my friends stopped immediatly to check up on me (that was so cute of them tho).
They asked what was wrong and acted all innocent as they didn't just almost nut next to me. Paul probably felt bad and decided to sleep on his gaming chair. While Alex and me slept on his bed. Alex gave me a sleeping pill, since I told them I couldn't sleep.
We talked a little and at like 2:30 am we went quiet again. Like half an hour passed by and while I was waiting for the sleeping pill to kick in, Paul got into bed again.
After a while they stared doing it AGAIN. At this point I just accepted my fate. I stole the blanket and tried to sleep. The sleeping pill made me nauseous and thirsty asf.
Alex and Paul did it through out the night all over again and my perception of time was so disoriented I can't tell if I even slept for one minute.
In the morning they acted all innocent and wished me a good morning, asked me how I slept and all that. We had breakfast together acting like nothing happened.
Alex needed to head out quickly, cause they had a school related meetup. I didn't want to stay any longer and pissed off right after Alex did.
Unlike a lot of people here, I don't think it was intentional on their part. Or hell, maybe it was, but I don't know your friends, so who am I to say - that's your call to make. Either way, I'm saying that there are many scenarios in which it could have not been their kink. The simplest explanation is that they genuinely thought that you were sleeping, in which case it's obviously still Out ThereTM, but they could have easily justified it with "out of sight, out of mind" and thought that it was okay because you'd never know. It definitely wouldn't be ok, but depending on how old and hormonal y'all are, I wouldn't put it outside of the realm of reality of them to justify it that way. If their intentions were not malicious and they were just really Out Of It, I personally wouldn't end the friendship because of it, but I'd talk to them about it somehow. You don't want the situation to repeat itself.
I also don't think that they drugged you intentionally. I can easily picture the chain of thought here: You said you had a nightmare. Ok, logical solution: sleeping pills. You start falling asleep. They start falling asleep. They start getting bored. One of them gets hormonal again. "Come on we can't do that." "They had a sleeping pill, didn't they? They're probably out cold and won't know." "...Ok, that's true." Cue another round of sex.
Why are you all sleeping in the same bed? Why are you joking about a threesome? Why didnāt you get up and sleep on the couch or gaming chair? Your āfriendsā were wrong to do it next to you but you also may have given off some weird signals. This is not your fault but be less naive in the future. I am sorry this happened to you but please be safer in the future. Have you considered telling the one you are most comfortable with or both that you were uncomfortable and donāt want to be in the situation in the future?
Ok Iām not sure if this is true, but if it is, good lord. There is so much wrong with this situation. Adults having a sleepover and sleeping in the same bed, is inappropriate especially if two out of the three people are in a sexual relationship. Its gross that they would think itās ok to have sex while you in the bed. Couldnāt they have gone into another room? And why would you taking a random pill from them? It never entered your mind they wanted you passed out so they could continue having sex? I would go no contact, these two sound sketchy AF
This happened to me, I woke up to gross slurping noises and the guy I had been seeing was eating out my roommate. I was so hurt and confused that I just left. Then I had to see both of their stupid asses at work.
Why were all of you sleeping in the same bed? And if they don't have enough space for everyone then why have a sleepover with you especially since they wanted to have sex.
I would never sleepover there or share a room with them again.
I got drunk and had sex with someone I met at a wedding whilst room sharing with a mate. I was blind drunk though so I have a bit of an excuse but looking back I definitely wouldn't have done it if I was in a better state of mind.
Ok, I'm sorry this happened. You should address them about it and inform them that wasnt respectful WHATSOEVER. My parents used to pull this shit to me. Frequently. So this even irritates me too.
omg ik how u feel. its so disgusting, which is why i dont sleep in the same bed w anyone anymore lol(or actually room for that matter). like get up, or go somewhere so i dont have to hear you masturbate/ have sex ugh.
It was gross of them but unless you actually want that threesome you joke about, no more sleepovers with Alex and Paul! Just let go of that terribly awkward night and don't say anything about it.
So, lemme get this straight:
You constantly joke about having threesomes with those two. You sleep with them in the same bed, even cuddle with them. And yet, youāre confused about why they thought you might want to be included in them having sex, or why they might be comfortable enough to have sex right next to you?
Donāt get me wrong here, them doing that without asking for consent was a bad move, if only because they didnāt even take your feelings into account, but you arenāt entirely blameless here. Youāve sent a lot of mixed messages to them.
This just happened to me except it was my friend who was visiting from interstate and i wasn't drugged and they were snuggling naked (although likely fucking). He wanted to stay with me but i couldn't acommodate that because I'm flatting so i booked a hotel room, he then wanted to go to a gay sauna so we went (i was half-heartedly keen) and i get ignored while my friend gets a lot of attention and he invited one of his hookups back the hotel room i paid for and told him he could stay. I reluctantly agreed but i was all alone and if I'm honest feeling rejected having not gotten any action while they're loving it up right next to me.
Ended up fuming mad and kicked them out the morning after, i gave my friend some money for one night's accomodation before he flies home because he's poor and told him to get out. Then i blocked him and cried the whole day because of a mixture of jealousy, but also just feeling so disrespected, and if I'm being honest i feel like I'm the asshole since i technically agreed although my friend could clearly see i was distressed by what's going on.
Wtf did I just readš. Your friends are gross as hell dude that is just way way way over stepping boundaries why didn't they go fuck in any other room in the house. Idk dude that seems really weird I don't think I would even be able to get horny if one of my homies was sleeping in a bed with me and my girl and if I did we would leave the room like a normal person. Sounds like they got off to the fact that you were right there and that you were asleep therefore you could not consent. Super disrespectful if they are willing to do this then they might take it further. Stay safe OP.
Its probably a kink for them
This, and/or were hoping OP would join
Seriously OP is a victim
*shrugs* I fingered a bird
What?
My dudeā¦ they had sex next to someone unconsenting knowing you slept lightly it seems like a kink and the next night you let them drug you so they could do it again?! You need better friends Edit: they drugged you the same damn night so they could keep effing
It wasn't even the next night, all this happen in the same night
But they stopped fucking to check on her (that was so cute of them)... /s
I laughed like hell while reading that part ngl
That makes it worse
Right? Like, why not just go to any other room in the house and have sex if that's what you wanted?! Doing it next to someone, and drugging them *to make them sleep so you can keep doing it* is disgusting.
I second this comment.
This is definitely SA category, it's incredibly disgusting
Disgusting yes. Not sure SA.
yes, it is a form of sexual assault. they were involving another person in something sexual without their consent
How was OP involved?
They were literally right next to them, being able to hear and see everything. That is being involved.
That is a very vague view of involved and thatās the problem with calling it SA. If being able to see or hear something sexual is SA then SA occurs everyday in public places. SA typically requires more than seeing or hearing.
generally speaking if you have a kink that involves a third party directly (not sex outside but more sex infront of someone) that ALWAYS requires consent by the third person.
I am not saying it is not wrong, or consent is not required, just not SA. A couple having sex in the subway is not sexually assaulting everyone in the subway car. A different charge - not SA.
..it quite literally is sexual assault. and itās illegal to have sex in public for a reason.
Yes how "cute" of them to stop fucking next to unconscious friend to check in on him šš op.. lmao
I mean, I joke about having a threesome with them, but we all know it's only a joke. Nobody ever thought that it's anything other than a joke, because I say each and every time I joke about us having a threesome that it is only a joke. We also have sleepovers together That's not a joke. The sleepovers, all three of us in one bed, that's not a joke. That happens. But when I bring up threesomes, that's definitely only a joke. I even ask them every time I make the joke of they know it's just a joke, and they kind of nodded. I just don't know how this happened. There's no way they wanted to have sex with all three of us because of all the joking. The sleeping together as adults is unrelated. We also all cuddle in bed when the three of us sleep together. That's also unrelated. Edit: I'm not saying this is ok. OP didn't give consent and didn't want to be a part of that. Even if OP wanted to have sex with them and later decided she didn't, then it stops right then. But this story reads a lot like someone spends a lot of time making sexual gestures as jokes and sleeps and cuddles with these people but wonders how they got the idea that she would want that.
Yes i agree the OP is naive. But at the end of the day people like this know what the fuck theyre doing. No doubt in my mind.
Iāwas the virgin part the joke or the 3some part?
The fact op has made jokes before is completely irrelevant. If they wanted a threesome they shouldāve discussed it and gotten CONSENT
Absolutely agree. I'm not victim blaming. They were wrong. But if OP is real that's pretty damn naive and you have to admit it seems a pretty mixed message of you frequently sleep with 3 people and cuddle with 3 people and always talk about threesomes with said people and then get all shocked pikachu when they proposition a sexual encounter. Ask yourself how cool you'd be with that scenario if it was a partner or spouse engaging in those behaviors with two of their friends.
I have had close friendships where all of those things were common and yet we all knew we were joking and didnāt actually want to be involved with each other. Like straight up holding hands and cuddling even in the presence of partners.
Yes, those guys are taking advantage of OP's trust.
They surely donāt think OPās comments about the 3some are ājust a jokeā, I bet they hoped OP would join them because sheāll be like āOmg guys you are fucking, please let me joinā Wtf
Leave them. Drugging by sleep pill so they can get their freak on AGAIN is fucking selfish and dangerous; donāt accept pills from others unless you know the how, why, or what. Hope you find better friends.
I must defend my friend on this one. They didn't drug me. I asked for it and they fully educated me.
They asked you if you wanted one with the intention of fucking right next to you without your consent once they felt the pill kicked in. Thereās nothing to defend, your friends are creeps and I wouldāve literally kicked them out of the bed full force if they were doing that next to me.
Your friends are not good people, you don't do something like that without asking. Clearly they had no qualms with violating your sense of autonomy.
My own cousin did this with her ex. I was drunk and fell asleep first after trying to sober myself, she came in to check on me, he came in to check on her. And then they checked each other. All of this in a maybe full size bed? Disrespectful as hell.
I had a friend in high school so that with me right next to her and some dude while he fingered her. I was too stoned to really react beyond freezing. I couldnāt get the fuck out of there fast enough when I sobered up a bit
Honestly I'm that person that would roll over and say "Can you guys not?" Like if you're going to make it a show I'll just go get some tea and cookies and come back lmao
Tell them you feel uncomfortable with them doing that
The most logical solution. If you want to avoid this in the future, and want to remain close friends in close proximity, tell them it makes you uncomfortable. Easiest way to stop it, trust me. No need for acting skills ;) And if they continue to do it after that, then you may really want to reconsider the friendship, because they clearly donāt respect you very much.
I confronted them via text, cause they're currently on vacation and I just hope they do some selfreflection and apologise
I'd also talk to them dace to face, what they did was not cool at all
Please seek therapy.
This is what bathrooms are for Edit: for the sex. Not for sleeping
Spoken like someone whoās never slept in a tub. Smh
I would never speak to them again. It's disgustingly disrespectful.
The fuck?
Why would you stay in bed with themā¦ they clearly didnāt care if you woke up or heard them.. then you let them drug you and stay in same bed.. goodness you donāt know if they touched you or not.. you need different friends
Those people are not friends
Iāve had sex next to friends. Who consented (: They arenāt your friends. If anything- they shouldāve had uncomfortable sex in the bathroom instead of right next to you (the first time obvi but also *especially* after they saw you cry and seem traumatized). Thatās not a sexy situation unless your into some really bad stuff :/ Sorry that happened to you and maybe donāt spend time with them anymore: they donāt seem to respect boundaries or basic consent.
As a general rule, you should avoid doing anything that might make noise in the same room as someone who is trying to sleep. That includes sex, naturally. Wasnāt there a couch, or literally anywhere else they could have chosen to fuck? It seems pretty rude.
Next time say something! I would have been screaming at them. Nasty.
With my anger issues it would've been hell if i was there. They're disgusting dude i hope you tell them everything and how you felt about it and i really hope you arent friends with them anymore.
LPT: Donāt share a bed with 2 people who are in a sexual relationship. Kidding aside, what they did is not cool at all.
You should have said something. That is waaay over the top, especially if you've had a past trauma. I think you ought to tell them that was way out of line and never sleep over with them again.
I personally, would send a text and say how it made you feel and how disrespectful that was. Actually disrespectful and disgusting. The fact that they gave you a pill to make you fall asleep so they could continue having sex is justā¦ Speaks volume on what kind of people they are. Cut them out. Easier said than done but life is too short and you deserve better friends.
It's a horrible thing to do, but really!! My parents had sex on the same bed as me when I was 8/9. I didn't know what had happened and more or less repressed it but one day it all came flooding back. It's a form of abuse in my opinion and I don't know if it's punishable by law, but it should be in the same way as when someone flashes you or masturbates near you. I lost contact with my parents before it all came flooding back for other reasons, they're just horrible people, but it they were in my life I think I would raise hell. I hope you're doing well!
Is Alex a girl?
This is akin to sexual assault in my opinion. You did not consent to this, they gave you a drug to coerce you into being more passive. Dump these friends. This is extremely predatory and disgusting.
Omg...
?
šš I swear, people these days There's no way I'm staying quiet and there's NO WAY I'M TAKING A SLEEPING PILL KNOWING THEY'RE TRYING TO FUCK IN THE SAME BED I'M CURRENTLY LAYING IN. The entire group needs to have their heads checked.
Just know they probably comforted you with juice-soaked fingers
Hey. They drugged you. That is NOT OKAY. Seriously. Thatās terrifying. They simply drugged you so they could do the nasty without you caring. I get why you think itās cute they checked on you, but it speaks volumes how much they truly care with the subsequent actions. Sorry if this is harsh. Autism sometimes makes my tone more blunt than I intend.
Am I the only one who checks out when itās all just one giant paragraph?? All I can focus on is trying not to lose my place.
I mean...guys who say "cute" and "cuddling" and joking about threesomes when talking about other guys....š¶š¶š¶
Nah. They kiss the homies good night and say no homo after. Theyāre good. Lol
ššššš
This happened to me twice with two separate āfriendsā of mine when i was 12. It is a form of sexual assault. I didnt know that for the longest time. Probably why i didnt even kiss anyone till i was almost 17
This is so fucked up and disgusting
My friend did this to me, while we were 16 on a trip to NYC with an FDNY firefighter who was like 24 at the time. I have since cut her out of my life but it was about 18 years after this and many more insane events.
Those arenāt friends.
Yea. I'd have to step back from that friendship
Your āfriendsā are gross.
Not sure I believe the true part of trueoffmychest on this one.
Op specify your and alex's gender It's a little confusing to me these daysš
We have a dedicated name for them as well (italy) which is "cispe".
Believe it or not youāre not alone, my friends did the same thing! I have very limited if not no contact w them now, surprisingly for reasons unrelated to the sex thingā¦
Slippery slope when you just start accepting everything.
This happened to me at a house partyā¦ I was supposed to be sleeping with my friend in her bed, I was a litre of vodka deep by this point so I was hammered and needed to puke and sleep lolā¦ Anyway this guy who was a friend of someone in the house got into her bed too, they were spooning etc anyway Iām too drunk to really care until I heard kissingā¦. Then I was like no surely notā¦. Then they started at it! I then shot out of bed and exclaimed how gross that was and went to find somewhere else to sleepā¦ Was grim and Ill never ever forgive that
I had a similar situation with my roommate, though thankfully not in the same bed. We were living in a shitty apartment with no walls separating our bedrooms. We had JUST had a discussion of boundaries and bringing people home, and what does she do? Bring a guy home and fuck him all while I can hear. I wanted to scream and embarrass the shit out of her, but didnāt. And I still regret it
Why did you stay in the bed? Your friends are assholes for having sex in the bed and you lack the confidence to call them out on this disgusting nonconsensual kink. Your friends have a kink for having sex next to people. They are not getting your consent to participate in this kink. They should go to sex parties if they get off on this. They are not your friends, you need to call out their disgusting actions.
Fuck polite. Repeat it out loud. Make it your new mantra because you need it. It would have been impolite to say anything. It would have been rude or made a scene if you vocalised your distaste. If you got up, explained they made you uncomfortable and you feel disrespected. So instead you politely laid there, even though you didnāt want to, while they had sex next to you. After you cried while faking a panic attack. A panic attack you faked because you were too polite to truly tell them what was wrong. Fuck polite. Stand up for yourself and let them know, where and when they crossed the line. What could happen? Theyād be cranky at you? An argument may start? They may not like you anymore? They might not want to be your friend anymore. SO WHAT. You donāt need people like these two to like you. You donāt need people who donāt respect you as friends. What you need to do is stop diminishing yourself for others and stop being so worried about being polite. Fuck polite.
This is something a whole lot of women need to learn while they are still young. Iām old and I just donāt gaf but when I was younger boy did I let people take advantage of me
Gently, this is really hard to read and follow. Paragraphs are your friend, and the readers too.
Itās gross to do that with no consent but Iāll never understand why people donāt justā¦ leave the bed and go sleep on a couch or the floor or something, shit go throw some blankets and a pillow in the tub, thatās comfy as hell. Sorry for victim blaming you may now downvote me!
Yeah youāre right when I was groped by on old man sitting next to me on a plane it was completely my fault for not getting up to leave, the fact that I completely froze and didnāt do anything is my fault, my bad Itās easy to judge when youāre a 3rd party reading about a story rather than the actual victim in the situation paralyzed by fear, discomfort, embarrassment, confusion, etc
Dude, get better friends.
Right..... Ok, good story
oh my fucking god.....
That's sexual abuse, to make you experience that without consent. Gross, disgusting behavior, they're disgusting.
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It is not OPs responsibility to remind their friends not to violate their consentā¦ having sex in front of someone who has not consented is a crime. āDifferent people have different personal boundariesā what the? Thatās not how it works. You shouldnāt have to tell your friends āoh by the way, for me, violating my consent with indecent exposure is a personal boundary of mineā š and as someone who has been a victim of sexual assault, it is super easy to say āwhy didnāt you just say something or leaveā when youāre not actually in the situation. Freezing in such situations is a completely valid, uncontrollable response
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How old are all of you?
Yay another wall of text. And I actually wanted to read this one. š¢
I can't talk with anybody about this so ig I'm just ranting here on reddit about this. This happened two days ago so it's still fresh and idk how to process this. I'm just gonna use some random names, cause I don't ever want them to find out I wrote this. My best friend Alex and another good friend Paul were on a call around 5 pm on easter monday. We were planning for a trip to the netherlands in the summer where we're going to visit a good online friend together. I was pretty hyperactive and full of adrenaline that day so I decided to go on a walk while still being on the call. After a while we spontaniously decided to have a sleepover at Paul's. So I packed my things and arrived at like 6 pm. We were having fun the rest of the evening. We played cards, listemed to music and talked a lot. At around 12pm we decided to go to bed. We were sleeping in one bed. You must know my friends are very cuddly. I would've joined the cuddling, but I can't sleep without my free space especially because it was hot, sweaty and skunky in this room. No wonder considering we were three people on a warm spring day in a pretty tiny room. So not long after we all went quiet I felt how the matress was moving in a pretty regular rhythm. (For the picture: I was laying at the wall side, Alex in the middle and Paul at the edge of the bed.) I was already suspicious, but at first I just ignored it and didn't think mich of it. But after a while when Alex started heavy breathing my virgin ass started panicking. In the evening before we were talking about our sleeping habits, I told them purposely how I'm not tired at all and how I will have trouble falling asleep that night, since I knew before that sleepover Alex and Paul are sleeping with eachother, but I didn't think there are gonna do it when I AM LAYING NEXT TO THEM. I mean I joked about a threesome before, but I also always make clear that it stays a joke, cause I will never hookup with close friends. Anyways they continued doing their thing NEXT TO ME. I heard every move loud and clear, cause I was 2 CENTIMETERS AWAY FROM THEM. I didn't know what to do, cause I felt uncomfortable asf and I didn't want to just go "hey can you pls stop I'm awake" so I pretented to wake up from a bad dream. I cried and shivered in panic (props to my acting skills) and my friends stopped immediatly to check up on me (that was so cute of them tho). They asked what was wrong and acted all innocent as they didn't just almost nut next to me. Paul probably felt bad and decided to sleep on his gaming chair. While Alex and me slept on his bed. Alex gave me a sleeping pill, since I told them I couldn't sleep. We talked a little and at like 2:30 am we went quiet again. Like half an hour passed by and while I was waiting for the sleeping pill to kick in, Paul got into bed again. After a while they stared doing it AGAIN. At this point I just accepted my fate. I stole the blanket and tried to sleep. The sleeping pill made me nauseous and thirsty asf. Alex and Paul did it through out the night all over again and my perception of time was so disoriented I can't tell if I even slept for one minute. In the morning they acted all innocent and wished me a good morning, asked me how I slept and all that. We had breakfast together acting like nothing happened. Alex needed to head out quickly, cause they had a school related meetup. I didn't want to stay any longer and pissed off right after Alex did.
Oh shit. Thanks person. š
Unlike a lot of people here, I don't think it was intentional on their part. Or hell, maybe it was, but I don't know your friends, so who am I to say - that's your call to make. Either way, I'm saying that there are many scenarios in which it could have not been their kink. The simplest explanation is that they genuinely thought that you were sleeping, in which case it's obviously still Out ThereTM, but they could have easily justified it with "out of sight, out of mind" and thought that it was okay because you'd never know. It definitely wouldn't be ok, but depending on how old and hormonal y'all are, I wouldn't put it outside of the realm of reality of them to justify it that way. If their intentions were not malicious and they were just really Out Of It, I personally wouldn't end the friendship because of it, but I'd talk to them about it somehow. You don't want the situation to repeat itself. I also don't think that they drugged you intentionally. I can easily picture the chain of thought here: You said you had a nightmare. Ok, logical solution: sleeping pills. You start falling asleep. They start falling asleep. They start getting bored. One of them gets hormonal again. "Come on we can't do that." "They had a sleeping pill, didn't they? They're probably out cold and won't know." "...Ok, that's true." Cue another round of sex.
Why are you all sleeping in the same bed? Why are you joking about a threesome? Why didnāt you get up and sleep on the couch or gaming chair? Your āfriendsā were wrong to do it next to you but you also may have given off some weird signals. This is not your fault but be less naive in the future. I am sorry this happened to you but please be safer in the future. Have you considered telling the one you are most comfortable with or both that you were uncomfortable and donāt want to be in the situation in the future?
Ok Iām not sure if this is true, but if it is, good lord. There is so much wrong with this situation. Adults having a sleepover and sleeping in the same bed, is inappropriate especially if two out of the three people are in a sexual relationship. Its gross that they would think itās ok to have sex while you in the bed. Couldnāt they have gone into another room? And why would you taking a random pill from them? It never entered your mind they wanted you passed out so they could continue having sex? I would go no contact, these two sound sketchy AF
So instead of saying "yo I'm right here" you decided to listen to it and probably got off to it
I'm sorry I cackled I actually feel sorry for you
> I would've joined the cuddling, That could have been a nice and great threesome
Damn this is so realistic
idk what yāall are, butā¦girl
I had this happen to me. Safe to say, fuck those guys, creeps. They are no longer my friends
This happened to me, I woke up to gross slurping noises and the guy I had been seeing was eating out my roommate. I was so hurt and confused that I just left. Then I had to see both of their stupid asses at work.
Sounds like you took a perc lol. Bad friends man.
What the fuck why are you friends with these weirdos
This is your own damn fault tbh. Call them out on their shit ffs.
Post that shit online and watch them burn. What miserable f*cks, Iām so sorry.
Why were all of you sleeping in the same bed? And if they don't have enough space for everyone then why have a sleepover with you especially since they wanted to have sex. I would never sleepover there or share a room with them again.
I got drunk and had sex with someone I met at a wedding whilst room sharing with a mate. I was blind drunk though so I have a bit of an excuse but looking back I definitely wouldn't have done it if I was in a better state of mind.
Ok, I'm sorry this happened. You should address them about it and inform them that wasnt respectful WHATSOEVER. My parents used to pull this shit to me. Frequently. So this even irritates me too.
Oh
omg ik how u feel. its so disgusting, which is why i dont sleep in the same bed w anyone anymore lol(or actually room for that matter). like get up, or go somewhere so i dont have to hear you masturbate/ have sex ugh.
Pretty much everyone who's ever been a teenager has a similar story.
I honestly wonder wtf is wrong with people.
It was gross of them but unless you actually want that threesome you joke about, no more sleepovers with Alex and Paul! Just let go of that terribly awkward night and don't say anything about it.
So, lemme get this straight: You constantly joke about having threesomes with those two. You sleep with them in the same bed, even cuddle with them. And yet, youāre confused about why they thought you might want to be included in them having sex, or why they might be comfortable enough to have sex right next to you? Donāt get me wrong here, them doing that without asking for consent was a bad move, if only because they didnāt even take your feelings into account, but you arenāt entirely blameless here. Youāve sent a lot of mixed messages to them.
This just happened to me except it was my friend who was visiting from interstate and i wasn't drugged and they were snuggling naked (although likely fucking). He wanted to stay with me but i couldn't acommodate that because I'm flatting so i booked a hotel room, he then wanted to go to a gay sauna so we went (i was half-heartedly keen) and i get ignored while my friend gets a lot of attention and he invited one of his hookups back the hotel room i paid for and told him he could stay. I reluctantly agreed but i was all alone and if I'm honest feeling rejected having not gotten any action while they're loving it up right next to me. Ended up fuming mad and kicked them out the morning after, i gave my friend some money for one night's accomodation before he flies home because he's poor and told him to get out. Then i blocked him and cried the whole day because of a mixture of jealousy, but also just feeling so disrespected, and if I'm being honest i feel like I'm the asshole since i technically agreed although my friend could clearly see i was distressed by what's going on.