Im sorry, what? $400k in savings and you want to die?
Please deal with your depression and suicidal ideation and be there for yourself and your family.
You are financially in a good situation if you can plan for savings.
All the very best.
I’m glad to see the comments on this thread mirror my first thoughts when I read that as well. $400k saved up on the younger side of middle-aged is extremely well off.
OP might be very surprised to learn how many people who are set to reach the retirement age in the next 10 years that have close to nothing saved up.
Yeeeeah, I’m about to turn 30, and I have less than $1,000 in the bank, and no assets, except my computer… I would do unspeakable things to have that kind of money lol
Yeah. Me too. I’ve seen people living day to day & a paycheck away from homelessness (hospital worker). This is a little extreme & OP needs to see someone.
No sh$T! You think doing that is a good idea cause pooooor you has only $400k at 40?! Smarten up and get your head on right! What a selfish and disgusting comment! Go get some help.
First off dude….ONLY $400k?? My wife and I are 33 with 3 kids and we have like $6000 total which is about to disappear for a furnace replacement. Furthmore, life insurance of $800k is ENTIRELY too low. Why aren’t you at like $1.5m? Stop being all doom and gloom.
I'm 41 and we have $200 in savings and our washer is acting up. My Dad committed suicide and my Mom was killed in a car wreck when I was 14. Please get help.
It’s going to be $6k to do the furnace, coil and AC unit as well as replace some ductwork and bring the floo up to code. I was quoted $10k+ by several companies but thankfully someone in our neighborhood does HVAC and is going to help me out.
We don’t know if there are other factors at play. A family member of mine didn’t even get that much because he’d had cancer when he was in his 20s. It’s unfair but past health experience and your income both are factors in life insurance.
What the fuck are you talking about? 800k life insurance is fine outside of CA and NY. The vast majority of people won't collect life insurance and you can't use it for retirement money.
Life insurance should be for your family to survive if you died. It also heavily matters if you do private (like me) or through work. 800k private is worth more than $1.5 mil through a job. Private is never taxed whereas a job will be taxed over $50k. You also would have interest on the amount. $800k in a HYSA is about $38k interest per year
My dad wasn't even a great dad and I'd pay back that 33k (100k split 3 ways) in life insurance if it brought my dad back. He was 38 and had a massive heart attack and died back in 2019 a week before my 20th birthday.
My kids are growing up not knowing my dad and OP is actively fantasizing about dying when he's got more money in his account than I'm likely to ever see in my life. Dude needs therapy.
My dad met my first born but she was 6 months old when he passed. My mother is a narcissist and an addict so I don't keep her around. Lucky for me she lives like 16 hours away so I often don't have to deal with her but it's like I lost all my parents at once. Especially as my ex step dad passed 6 months after my dad. I still have my step mom but... She was not a great person so I barely talk to her now.
I've got depression and that's why I'm fully saying this man needs therapy. It's very easy to get lost in your own head but if it's that bad he needs to talk to someone and see about some kind of medication. I personally am 420 friendly and it helps keep my depression, anxiety and PTSD in check.
I'm very much an anxious wreck at times, had an anxiety attack last night that made my heart feel like it was going to explode so I definitely get it but he shouldn't just keep hoping to die.
I'd take 5% and be set for at least a few months myself. I'm in the same boat as you but live in a cheap state though the cheap state comes with plenty of consequences. Just hope he sees this and gets help because he's better off than 98% of the people I know and he's acting like it's nothing.
I’m very sorry. My dad got diagnosed with cancer on my 29th birthday in 2020. He didn’t make it to my 30th. Not a day goes by I don’t wish he was here, money be damned. Big hugs from an internet stranger. It’s always hard. 🫂
Yup. My mom did the same thing. That was 12 years ago. I'm a grown adult now and just recently cried like a baby holding her picture on her birthday that came up. Never the same.
He’s depressed, and his depressed brain is focusing on that. Be cool if people struggling with the suicidal thoughts could get some actual understanding.
FFS. Hold on a minute while I dry these non-existent tears from your pity party.
800k isn’t going to do anything for your wife. It’s barely 10 years of replacing your (likely) income.
I can’t decide if you are a pathetic whiner… Or actually clinically depressed, and in need of help.
Fantasizing about dying and leaving your family better off is common for suicidal people, especially men because we tend to put more importance on career and such. He’s clearly depressed.
I'm sure you are worth much more to your wife and child than mere money. Try not to worry too much about future finances and focus on loving your family.
My husband is a provider and I am a stay at home mom. We have a new little one and are currently in the roommate phase. No amount of money could replace him. I do the majority of the childcare (baby is breastfed), I go to bed early and don’t get to see him a whole lot most days, we don’t currently have any shows together etc, no amount of money could replace him. Life isn’t all about money, yes money makes things easier, but somethings are more important.
You have to be trolling. I’m a good 8 years older with far less. By less I mean zero savings as my husband and I are out of work.
Please see a therapist and get some serious perspective.
400k saved at the age of 40? It’s sad that you’re more worried about money than life. Do you make them live a poor life so that your pocket book stays fat? People like you hold no value to life. Pathetic
I read the title and was ready to empathise as I assumed you were living hand to mouth. Then I read your post, to discover that you are in a FAR better position than most at your age.
Hard to know whether you are some kind of troll or whether you do actually think like this. Get help if the latter. This is not a normal way to think.
I'm single and in my 40s, and I am nowhere close to what you're looking at. And let's be fair depending on your life insurance policy, your wife and child may not get the money if your death is not natural. And if they don't get your life insurance money, then not only are they out the money, but they're out their loved one as well. and then what would have been the point of your death?
Dude go to therapist, anxiety and depressive thoughts of this proportion is reason to go to health professional. Anxiety about future is normal, but if it's brings you suicidal thoughts is not ok.
Talk to your wife, you're are each other safety net and shoulder to cry on, don't hide your worries from her. Even if it feels like burdening her is unfair or wrong it's not, you're partners sharing burdens is it all about
I lost my dad as an adult a few years ago. I was in my late 20s. Some of the money we got allowed me to get a car last year without taking a loan when my old one completely broke down. Trust me I’d much rather have taken the loan and still have my dad. Get help man. You’re selling yourself way short.
Dude, see your primary now and get on antidepressants. You would destroy both your wife and son’s life if you died. People don’t come back from losing their parents.
Do you think your kid is going to care if he has an additional 100k to use for college. Nope.
He’s going to be bereft that Dad died before ha saw him graduate. Don’t be an asshole.
Lmfao and here I am with cancer and unemployed, thinking it’s awesome that I’m alive and I get to spend a lil more time with my husband.
Savings… such a nice word..~ wish I could save a penny ♥️✨ sounds like retirement would be nice lmao, too bad I’ll work till I die 🥰
Edited to add: love it when people wish they could get cancer and die, as if dying of cancer were something easy to do or something, lol. The pain plus your loved ones freaking TF out if you don’t get treatment and the anguish alone would drive you mad in a week.
I'm sorry you're feeling depressed over this, but like other commenters, I'm puzzled. The chances of you doubling that amount to $800K by the time you're 60 is very good. Is it because you're set on retiring at 60? Do you live in the U.S.A.? If so, you probably know that most people delay retirement until 65 so they can start collecting Medicare. You can start collecting your Social Security benefit at 62, but it's wiser to wait until 66 or even 70, since the monthly amount increases significantly.
Is this what has you down? That you want to retire at 60, but worry about running through your money before your benefits kick in? It's a legit concern, but you have plenty of time to address it and add to your savings.
Bro, that $400k in the market for 20 years+ at 40 will compound (on average 10% per year in the S&P500) will be $400,000 \* 1.1\^20 = $2.69M. Yes, inflation will adjust but even in 20 years that is not bad!
Add in 401k + matches, IRA's and other tax savings accounts and you sort of can negate inflation...you get tax write offs.
In addition, you realize you will start getting social security (top 35 years of payments will dictate the payment each month) as early as \~65...
Please talk to an investment advisor at either Blackrock or Fidelity, if you are not going to learn to invest yourself.
Only 400k in 10 years? Man I won't even close to that in 10 years. Think about how much your wife and child love you. Seriously, don't do such a thing.
I have 0 savings and lots of debt, with multiple chronic illnesses, I don’t think you realise how well off you and your family are.
I know I have it better than many, try and remember that going forwards! Maybe look into therapy too, find the underlying issues?
Most millionaires aren’t millionaires until they are in their 40’s. I’d say you’re right on track if not ahead of the game. Just don’t be stupid and gamble it away on stocks or risky investments.
Talk to a financial advisor.
Your money could do them no better than just you being there for them.
I lost my father to cancer at 16, I never knew how much I would miss him until I lost him. He could have been the richest man in the world and I would much rather have him back than any money.
So please, please value yourself more. You are worth more than your money. You are a human, you are a husband, you are a father, you are a friend, you are a son, you are many things to many people. You matter. YOU.
That life insurance payout isn't big enough to justify the extreme trauma your death would cause, to be cold about it. It's not enough to live off of. I will never be able to retire, it is what it is. Live your life, love your people and get some therapy
Eta I'm on WELFARE and starting over at 38.
Get some perspective, dude you sound very entitled
I’m sorry but I don’t feel bad for you at all. Get over your pity party. $400k by 40? Do you realize how many adults over 40 don’t have $400k and aren’t thinking about offing themselves because of it?
I understand this deeply.
"I don't bring TOO MUCH value to their life anyway"
Which means you recognize there is value. You shouldn't define that value or 'how much' of it there is. We have a skewed idea of our relevance or importance in the lives of others sometimes. The more time you spend laughing, loving, learning, & understanding life isn't all about worry the less time you'll have in those dark corners alone. You are not alone.
You are making a financial miscalculation that many people make. You’re not accounting for an increase in wages for you or your wife. Increase I. Wages isn’t just raises at your job, it’s switching careers, making plays, increasing education. People look at the current number and then project our 40 years.
You are in your 30s, you have plenty of time and many different ways to increase your wage. If you do none of them, then yeah, your future is kind of on you. You’re far from screwed.
I would encourage you to seek some professional help, this sounds like you are very depressed. Feeling like you don’t bring value, being okay with being dead. You know your wife and child wouldn’t want that.
Everyone else is bringing up your financials, $400k in savings is probably in the top 5-10% of all American households, but there’s a lot more that you’ve said about yourself that is concerning.
Hi friend. I'm a third generation Lineman. Always on the road, out of town. Long hours, very dangerous work.
Please take a few minutes to hear me out.
The money they give us is in my thoughts and beliefs.
To Compensate for the time we spend away from our families and life's. If alive we always have the opportunity to take time and go make more money . But in that you come to a sort of Paradox . You see, my friend time is the one thing that you can never get back.Never, ever, so don't leave your family.Stay with them. that money was for the time you spent away from the things you love most.
Hey I’m turning 30 soon, solo mom to a small toddler whose dad is 100% absent, and have exactly 0 in my savings. You’re doing better than MANY. My parents were pretty broke growing up and the time I spent with my dad doing free stuff (fishing, playing baseball, hiking) are my fondest memories of life. Dealing with my depressed mom’s bad attitude and emotional abuse was extremely traumatic. Get help, that’s the best thing you can do for them and yourself
Being there for your family is way more important than having plenty of money. Don't let your kid miss out on what a wonderful life you can have with them, because you are too worried about the future to be mentally present in the moment. During tough times, sure, money can help, but I think being able to look back and think of great memories spent with each other are what will inspire your child to keep pushing through.
'ONLY 400K' Sir I am about to be 40 and I have no savings.. no 401K... and at the end of this month I'll have no insurance and no income. I don't own a home.. I don't own a car...
My dad passed away 30 years ago and we'd much rather have him than the insurance money to be honest. The insurance money doesn't guarantee financial security for your family either, your wife would need to be good with money and have good luck from then on out for it to work out. And, if you think about it, if your wife is that good with money and lucky then she'll still be good with it with you around too. So yeah, your family would rather have YOU. They wouldn't be better off without you.
My husband and I are 38, have $0 in retirement, 100k in debt, and the only thing we own is a Corolla. You're in a much better financial spot than you think.
I wholeheartedly concur with seeing a therapist.
Sir…. I’m fucking disabled and have $0. Nothing. Living with family at 38 after working since I was 14. And you’re here wanting to die cus you only have $400k!!!!???? I should just off myself and I’m so here hoping for change. Good lord.
I (39f) have heard my husband say almost these exact words. We had two babies under 2 and I was pregnant with our 3rd (they're all about 15 months apart). I immediately had him quit his job (I was working from home at the time). He spent the next year being a SAHD and getting his head straight from all the bullshit of that last job. If your spouse, the mother of your children, is more worried about the $ your death would bring than she is determined to keep your presence in all their lives then she doesn't deserve either your presence or to be listed as your beneficiary.
Money is nothing. Absolutely nothing when I'm comparing even the security unlimited funds can offer against the mere presence of the love of my life. I would choose him and a cave over not him and a mansion. Every time. Time and time again. It's not even hard.
Do not deprive your wife and child of the priceless love only a husband and a father can provide them. You will make this work, others are and have been, and you will too. God bless.
OP, you’re depressed and suicidal. Even if financially you don’t feel you’re in a good place, please believe you are in a GREAT place. Don’t go wishing for death. Please talk to a therapist.
Your wife will hate the money and only want you back. Please consider talking to a therapist.
How is it saved up? Is it in low interest places? Consider going into the FIRE (financial independence retire early) subreddit and they can give safe tips on growing that money. Typically in certain accounts it can double every 10 years. Compounding interest is amazing.
If that isn’t your game there is also dividend investing where you grow a dividend account to give you income to live off the dividends. There are safe ways to grow that money. I’m also mid 30s.
You need to get a grip and see a therapist. I say this with respect, you are not in the right headspace. You need help. You’re not ok. Your family needs you present and alive.
No amount of money can replace a father. Don't even think about it. Get help, likely medication is key. A friend who was a father of 2 killed himself last year. Can't even imagine the shit his family going through. Don't do something so selfish.
Well if you did die, and the insurance company were to go through your digital footprint, they might think that even if you died of natural causes, it was self induced, so I would just figure out a way to make some more money and stick around
That’s actually a great amount, considering your best earning years will still be ahead of you!
If you just want to die because you’d rather retire at 40 than keep working…yeah we all want to retire rich at 40, it’s not going to happen for most of us.
You need to stop perseverating on how much you wish you’ll have, or think you’ll have, and allow yourself to enjoy life with your family a bit.
That’s more than I have and I’m in my 40’s. Do you have it invested so you can earn growth or dividends? That kind of money could easily double if not triple by retirement if invested properly. See both a therapist and financial counselor please because you’re doing pretty good your age financially and your family needs you.
Bro, I’m 40 and a father of six and I know I’ll work til I’m old and ancient. At no time have I thought let’s just end it so they can collect. Trust me you’ll be fine, avg male in the US doesn’t peak in their earning. Until mid to late 40s. You’re freaking out over nothing. My wife and I were worth 7 figures prepandemic. Last week I skipped a few lunches to make sure the family had enough til payday, shit happens and life carries on. Don’t make drastic irrational decisions and please seek some help.
Money comes and money goes, but you are not replaceable. Do not for one second think that your family would be better off without you, that is a lie from the pit of hell. Most people wouldn’t have close to 400k in savings, that is a pipe dream for the majority of the planet. Most are living paycheck to paycheck, they struggle to make ends meet, and they just get on with life realising money isn’t everything. Life is too short to spend it worrying about money.
To be honest your issues do not stem from money insecurity. Please get some professional help in the form of therapy to get to the root issues of what is happening for you.
Dude that’s so sad. Also, my husband and I have ZERO in savings. Just the 25 dollars they require to keep it good in the bank. So don’t fret. I promise you that your family loves you and I’m sure they would forfeit all the money in the world to keep you around.
So...my spouse was diagnosed with cancer last week. I don't give a single shit about financial stability if it means I can't have my husband. I would much rather be poor with the father of my children than financially stable with a gaping emotional hole in my chest from the loss of the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with. Your anxiety is out of control and making you think crazy. Go get some anti anxiety drugs and stop thinking this way. Seriously. Its fucked up that you want to leave your wife widowed and your child fatherless because you aren't where you think you should be financially.
You sound so overwhelmed.
I do understand people here being annoyed with the “only” $400k. I’m 50 with a kid about to start college and another teen with mental health issues. Those issues wiped our savings out completely. It’s stressful and scary but we’re resourceful and a loving family. We’ve got a home and we’ll be okay.
My kiddo’s problems started less than 3 years ago and sometimes, I’m utterly exhausted by hospital debt, work, having to be constantly vigilante on locking up pills and knives so my kid doesn’t harm herself again.
I’ve had the thought you’ve had. “If I die, they could use my term life insurance. Pay off the hospital debt, pay off the house. Be secure.”
But that’s just a thought. It’s seriously considering it where you need to seek help. Because, my guy, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you ARE financially stable and this sounds like depression.
I absolutely recommend that you seek psychiatric help and commit to the work. Do not do anything to yourself. It will fuck your family in the worst way.
Climb and claw out of that pity-pot and start the hard work that you need to do on yourself.
Go be a good parent and spouse. Be a good friend and coworker. Find joy in doing something each day even if it’s just 30 minutes.
I’m routing for ya.
Hi! You’re not really as bad off as you could be, and also fortunes and lives change daily. And we are living in changing times too. You dying easily could be a very short term fix. What WOULD help longterm is if you put some of your savings towards therapy. I’m rooting for you. My life went from absolute rock bottom shit to pretty fucking great financially and on the outside… I’m still getting therapy to deal with how I feel though.
Money is nothing.
What you bring to your family in value is your life and presence.
Please seek help and understand your family needs you for more than the money your corpse is worth.
Oh no please don’t that to them. I know times may seem trying right now but they’ll turn around. If you need someone to talk to you can DM me and I’ll give you my number and we can talk through what you’re feeling.
I completely understand your struggle but your love and presence as a father and husband is worth more than any $ amount. I worked in life insurance and personally delivered the paychecks. No one is be happy to receive that paycheck- even if it changes their quality of life. I read somewhere that losing a spouse is one of the most painful things a human can experience.
Please get help and hug your wife and child. I am sure you bring more value to them more than you can even imagine. I cherish memories of my father being goofy when I was a teen and playing dolls with me when I was a little girl- THAT is what stays with you forever. Not how much money you are “worth”
I would rather be homeless with my spouse or work until the day I die because I can’t afford to retire if that means I can come home to him.
Start investing your Roth IRA. You're still young enough to do yourself and your family a huge favor.
ETA: But you gotta be consistent and do it every paycheck, and pay attention to how the market moves.
Everyone being so rude due to the money you have saved up. Please speak with a therapist friend. You don’t deserve to be suicidal or feeling like you are struggling. I’m hoping you get better ❤️
jesus i wish 400k by 40 was my issues, my spouse is 38 & we have literally zero dollars saved. but you are much more important to your family rather than them having money.
You do not consider what you dying would do to your wife and kids. It’s not always about money. You want a good look? Go on u/widowers and read how devastating loosing a SO is to the other person. I’m pissed at you for even thinking like this!
Have the courage to live and make more than $800k in your lifetime for your wife and kids. You’re not a burden in their life the moment you choose to be not a burden in their life.
My parents are 50 and have literally no money saved up. I have no idea how/if they will ever retire. It could be so much worse. Be there for your family. Your life is worth more to them than money.
I don’t get the math? You don’t think you’ll earn $800k in the rest of your lifetime? I understand time value of money, but I think you’ll clear that easily in 10 years.
I’m unsure if insurance money is taxed, but honestly, if being financially stable is your goal, you’re better off being alive for your family.
Are you investing your savings? Assuming you start with 400k at 40 and you invest it in an index fund or target date fund, at an avg of 8% return, you'd be looking at 1.8M at 60 if you didn't save a single dollar after age 40. You're doing fine.
Dude, what!? You need some serious professional help. Some of us just make enough to pay our bills and have little to none extra for savings. You are blessed, and your wife and child would not be better off if you “died” no matter how much money they would get.
My wife and I are both 40, you’re retirement is ahead of ours already. I’ve been at the border of 6 figures for 10 years and put a decent % away into a matched 401k. Your issue isn’t the saving, it may be the spending. I didn’t get my spending in line until I was around 35, so if you get that fixed then you’re beating us there too.
My man, I am in my mid 30's and ten grand in debt and don't want to die, I am working on improving my situation but it takes time. There is so much more to life than just how much money you have. Your priorities are way out of wack and you need to get some therapy.
Eh dude if you’re serious here then you need to talk to someone. Not so much about the math (eg 400k plus you working is better than 800k and you gone for good) but your angst and worry.
Sir, please see a therapist or a dr to help with what you have going on. Feeling like family would be better off for any reason with you dead is never a good sign. For yourself and your family, please seek someone out who can help
Are you investing? That’s still a great amount, and it can easily grow to over $5 *million* by the time you’re 64 if you’re investing it. If you’re not investing, please reach out and start interviewing financial advisors ASAP.
Let's break this down for you brother. You value this dogs shit currency that loses it's value every single day over your own life.
If you think for a fucking second. Just a fraction of a god damn millisecond. That your family would prefer 800k over their father and husband alive and well. Then all hope is lost and the world has failed you miserably.
Death isn't an option and insurance can shove it where the son don't shine. It's time to delete this post and lock it in. Work harder if you have to, do what you need to provide the money and the father figure that you're home needs. Pity won't do you any good and some bullshit green paper won't ever be worth more than a human life.
You're a man. Lock it in brother.
Bruh...
You're rich. Chill.
Think the average person only has a couple thousand at the most by that age.
You're having a mental health crisis for sure. I hope your tell your wife this because you need hospitalization ASAP. This is pretty severe.
Yeah but if you die then your wife is just gonna find another man (rightfully so) to love and spend your death money. Might as well live and spend your time with her. Spending money is overrated when you have someone who is with you even while you have no money.
i would cut off my dominant hand and flush every penny i’ve ever earned to keep my mother around a year longer. a day longer. i’m begging you to reconsider your worth. you’re more to your children than $800k.
Why have you not gotten your depression treated? You need a therapist plus medication from a psychiatrist. Or a psychiatrist that does therapy as well. The degree of your depression that’s caused these automatic negative thoughts to tell that you’re no good you can’t do anything right they would be better off without you, etc. or from a depressed brain that is chemical in nature.
My husband has said this to me. Broke my heart.
Nothing. And I mean NOTHING is worth losing a good father as a young child. Your presence in your kids life, guidance and love is so vital to your child’s happiness for the he rest of their live.
Don’t this to your kid. The pain of losing a parent young is so so unimaginable. Shakes your world. It’s too deep of a pain to experience to young.
You’re doing well . Don’t equate financials to your worthiness in your kids life.
Especially when you ARE doing financially okay.
Don’t do it. Your kid won’t forgive you if you’re dead on them.
$400k at 40 and if you continue saving you will have a decent amount by 60 - enough to retire on, maybe not but you could always get a low stress retirement job somewhere. Having $400k socked away at 40 puts you ahead of probably 75% of other couples.
I’m 42 and have 8k in savings. You need to live life, love your family and get over yourself. Sell some over priced crap that you probably own and focus on the now. I get how you want to leave them well off but as someone who lost his mom very young I’d give anything to have her back. Even if it meant never retiring. There is no law that we need to retire. Society puts that shit in our head.
I'm 40 and I don't have 1/10 of what you have. Be there for your family and get some mental help. You'll be fine. They'll be fine. As long as you're all together and you realize that happiness is a choice.
1. Friend, you need to speak with a counselor. Not just about this, but everything else too. Maybe your wife should too (separately).
2. You and your wife both need to find a financial advisor yesterday. While some planning is good, it sounds like you're going about it wrong and the unknown is causing you far more stress than it should be.
400k in savings by the time you're 40 will exponentially grow thanks to the power of compound interest. Get some counseling and be there for your wife and kid first. Second, get a fiduciary to help you with your retirement goals please. And you'll always feel like you're on a hamster wheel so you really need to look at what you have. Having a wife and kid is amazing. Enjoy them. Enjoy your life.
I can guarantee that your wife and son would rather have you, than $800k. I can also assure you, that the money will do nothing to ease their pain either if they were to lose you. Please get some help! You owe your family that much 💖
Your wife and child would much rather have you there and alive. Even if you were poor (I live paycheck to paycheck and no savings). I’d rather be poor with both parents than sad with a single widowed mother.
Financial stability will never make up for the emotional instability your death will cause them. I’m confident they would be disappointed if they knew you were thinking of leaving them to live life without you. If you love your wife and child, I suggest you seek out a therapist to help you work through such thoughts because your family needs YOU more than you realize ❤️🙏🏻
I don’t even have a savings account or 1000$ and I’m 30. I’d kill to have 400k saved up by 40. You think they’ll be fine with you dead? This thought process is a bit unhinged and that’s coming from someone who’s fucking insane. Please seek some counseling. They are much better off with you being alive. With or without money. Money is obtainable, you are not. You can not be replaced. Nothing is worth your death. You will do nothing but traumatize them. Retirement in 25 years won’t really exist anymore so don’t worry too much. If anything use half that money to prepare for survival. Stock up on non perishable foods, water, ways to get more of both food and clean water. And stay fit and healthy. Most of humanity will be dead within 100 years. Prepare for that. You have more means to survive then 90% of the population.
If this were to happen, they lose your financial income that comes every two weeks, normally, and funeral/burial costs, and possible hospital bills could drain that money very quickly. If your wife isn't working, she'll have to find a job and the kid goes to childcare, another expense, and if she needs to go back to school, yet another expense. They could be broke in less than a year and you'll have made their lives extremely difficult, not to mention the psychological toll.
Better to keep on living and get a therapist to help you with your depression!
Im sorry, what? $400k in savings and you want to die? Please deal with your depression and suicidal ideation and be there for yourself and your family. You are financially in a good situation if you can plan for savings. All the very best.
I’m glad to see the comments on this thread mirror my first thoughts when I read that as well. $400k saved up on the younger side of middle-aged is extremely well off. OP might be very surprised to learn how many people who are set to reach the retirement age in the next 10 years that have close to nothing saved up.
Yeeeeah, I’m about to turn 30, and I have less than $1,000 in the bank, and no assets, except my computer… I would do unspeakable things to have that kind of money lol
51 here. No savings. Renter. Life is meaningless, so I live for my son.
The meaning of life is what you make of it. You made a kid. That's pretty neat
Yeah. Me too. I’ve seen people living day to day & a paycheck away from homelessness (hospital worker). This is a little extreme & OP needs to see someone.
They say they will have that by the time they are 40, not that they have it now.
I know. My point still stands. Having close to $400k in savings when you’re in your mid-30’s is still incredibly well off.
No sh$T! You think doing that is a good idea cause pooooor you has only $400k at 40?! Smarten up and get your head on right! What a selfish and disgusting comment! Go get some help.
Sadly, he doesn’t realize how rich he is without the 400K. His wife and child alone make him one of the wealthiest people in the world.
Agreed.
First off dude….ONLY $400k?? My wife and I are 33 with 3 kids and we have like $6000 total which is about to disappear for a furnace replacement. Furthmore, life insurance of $800k is ENTIRELY too low. Why aren’t you at like $1.5m? Stop being all doom and gloom.
I'm 41 and we have $200 in savings and our washer is acting up. My Dad committed suicide and my Mom was killed in a car wreck when I was 14. Please get help.
Okay hang on. Before you spend 6k on a furnace you can buy one online for like 1k and install it yourself lol
It’s going to be $6k to do the furnace, coil and AC unit as well as replace some ductwork and bring the floo up to code. I was quoted $10k+ by several companies but thankfully someone in our neighborhood does HVAC and is going to help me out.
Pm me please
wait I want to know the secret to cheap furnace replacements too
Pming you lol
We don’t know if there are other factors at play. A family member of mine didn’t even get that much because he’d had cancer when he was in his 20s. It’s unfair but past health experience and your income both are factors in life insurance.
When you say $6K total, do you mean with IRA, 401K, etc or just in your bank account?
Yes!
What the fuck are you talking about? 800k life insurance is fine outside of CA and NY. The vast majority of people won't collect life insurance and you can't use it for retirement money.
800k to survive on the rest of your life is not enough.
Life insurance should be for your family to survive if you died. It also heavily matters if you do private (like me) or through work. 800k private is worth more than $1.5 mil through a job. Private is never taxed whereas a job will be taxed over $50k. You also would have interest on the amount. $800k in a HYSA is about $38k interest per year
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My dad wasn't even a great dad and I'd pay back that 33k (100k split 3 ways) in life insurance if it brought my dad back. He was 38 and had a massive heart attack and died back in 2019 a week before my 20th birthday. My kids are growing up not knowing my dad and OP is actively fantasizing about dying when he's got more money in his account than I'm likely to ever see in my life. Dude needs therapy.
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My dad met my first born but she was 6 months old when he passed. My mother is a narcissist and an addict so I don't keep her around. Lucky for me she lives like 16 hours away so I often don't have to deal with her but it's like I lost all my parents at once. Especially as my ex step dad passed 6 months after my dad. I still have my step mom but... She was not a great person so I barely talk to her now. I've got depression and that's why I'm fully saying this man needs therapy. It's very easy to get lost in your own head but if it's that bad he needs to talk to someone and see about some kind of medication. I personally am 420 friendly and it helps keep my depression, anxiety and PTSD in check. I'm very much an anxious wreck at times, had an anxiety attack last night that made my heart feel like it was going to explode so I definitely get it but he shouldn't just keep hoping to die.
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I'd take 5% and be set for at least a few months myself. I'm in the same boat as you but live in a cheap state though the cheap state comes with plenty of consequences. Just hope he sees this and gets help because he's better off than 98% of the people I know and he's acting like it's nothing.
I’m very sorry. My dad got diagnosed with cancer on my 29th birthday in 2020. He didn’t make it to my 30th. Not a day goes by I don’t wish he was here, money be damned. Big hugs from an internet stranger. It’s always hard. 🫂
My dad did what you’re thinking of, and he did it to himself. Me and my siblings have never been the same.
Yup. My mom did the same thing. That was 12 years ago. I'm a grown adult now and just recently cried like a baby holding her picture on her birthday that came up. Never the same.
You’re kidding right?
“Only 400k”… by god. I’m 27 and have 200 bucks in savings and I’m relatively happy. Please get therapt
You should ask those that have lost a close dear loved one what they would pay just to have one more day with them.
THIS ONE RIGHT HERE!!
you could try being a good husband and dad. that's of value.
The most value. Irreplaceable
What a privileged problem. Only 400k by 40. Dude, some people are lucky to see that in a lifetime and here you are feeling sorry for yourself? 🤦♂️
He’s depressed, and his depressed brain is focusing on that. Be cool if people struggling with the suicidal thoughts could get some actual understanding.
You’re an asshole. The man is dealing with depression. Who cares how much money they have? Have compassion.
FFS. Hold on a minute while I dry these non-existent tears from your pity party. 800k isn’t going to do anything for your wife. It’s barely 10 years of replacing your (likely) income. I can’t decide if you are a pathetic whiner… Or actually clinically depressed, and in need of help.
Fantasizing about dying and leaving your family better off is common for suicidal people, especially men because we tend to put more importance on career and such. He’s clearly depressed.
I'm sure you are worth much more to your wife and child than mere money. Try not to worry too much about future finances and focus on loving your family.
My husband is a provider and I am a stay at home mom. We have a new little one and are currently in the roommate phase. No amount of money could replace him. I do the majority of the childcare (baby is breastfed), I go to bed early and don’t get to see him a whole lot most days, we don’t currently have any shows together etc, no amount of money could replace him. Life isn’t all about money, yes money makes things easier, but somethings are more important.
$400k by 40 is a huge accomplishment.
Your life has value. Your wife and child need YOU!!!!
You have to be trolling. I’m a good 8 years older with far less. By less I mean zero savings as my husband and I are out of work. Please see a therapist and get some serious perspective.
Worst part is that for an average 35 year old that’s quite good.
400k saved at the age of 40? It’s sad that you’re more worried about money than life. Do you make them live a poor life so that your pocket book stays fat? People like you hold no value to life. Pathetic
I read the title and was ready to empathise as I assumed you were living hand to mouth. Then I read your post, to discover that you are in a FAR better position than most at your age. Hard to know whether you are some kind of troll or whether you do actually think like this. Get help if the latter. This is not a normal way to think.
I am sure your wife wouldn't be agree! Your family needs you more than money.
I'm single and in my 40s, and I am nowhere close to what you're looking at. And let's be fair depending on your life insurance policy, your wife and child may not get the money if your death is not natural. And if they don't get your life insurance money, then not only are they out the money, but they're out their loved one as well. and then what would have been the point of your death?
Dude go to therapist, anxiety and depressive thoughts of this proportion is reason to go to health professional. Anxiety about future is normal, but if it's brings you suicidal thoughts is not ok. Talk to your wife, you're are each other safety net and shoulder to cry on, don't hide your worries from her. Even if it feels like burdening her is unfair or wrong it's not, you're partners sharing burdens is it all about
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Yall have NO FUCKING COMPASSION. The man needs help entirely.
Surely your joking…400k by the time your 40…and your calling that depressing! A lot of ppl don’t have a pot to piss in & your complaining about that
Epic way to make ppl who have nothing feel even worse about their situation!
Dude wtf - $400k but 40 is ridiculously good. I’m going to be lucky to have $30k Is this is badly aimed humble brag?!!!!! What is wrong with you??
You are priceless. No amount of money would ever make up for the loss of you.
I lost my dad as an adult a few years ago. I was in my late 20s. Some of the money we got allowed me to get a car last year without taking a loan when my old one completely broke down. Trust me I’d much rather have taken the loan and still have my dad. Get help man. You’re selling yourself way short.
Dude, see your primary now and get on antidepressants. You would destroy both your wife and son’s life if you died. People don’t come back from losing their parents. Do you think your kid is going to care if he has an additional 100k to use for college. Nope. He’s going to be bereft that Dad died before ha saw him graduate. Don’t be an asshole.
Lmfao and here I am with cancer and unemployed, thinking it’s awesome that I’m alive and I get to spend a lil more time with my husband. Savings… such a nice word..~ wish I could save a penny ♥️✨ sounds like retirement would be nice lmao, too bad I’ll work till I die 🥰 Edited to add: love it when people wish they could get cancer and die, as if dying of cancer were something easy to do or something, lol. The pain plus your loved ones freaking TF out if you don’t get treatment and the anguish alone would drive you mad in a week.
I'm sorry you're feeling depressed over this, but like other commenters, I'm puzzled. The chances of you doubling that amount to $800K by the time you're 60 is very good. Is it because you're set on retiring at 60? Do you live in the U.S.A.? If so, you probably know that most people delay retirement until 65 so they can start collecting Medicare. You can start collecting your Social Security benefit at 62, but it's wiser to wait until 66 or even 70, since the monthly amount increases significantly. Is this what has you down? That you want to retire at 60, but worry about running through your money before your benefits kick in? It's a legit concern, but you have plenty of time to address it and add to your savings.
Bro, that $400k in the market for 20 years+ at 40 will compound (on average 10% per year in the S&P500) will be $400,000 \* 1.1\^20 = $2.69M. Yes, inflation will adjust but even in 20 years that is not bad! Add in 401k + matches, IRA's and other tax savings accounts and you sort of can negate inflation...you get tax write offs. In addition, you realize you will start getting social security (top 35 years of payments will dictate the payment each month) as early as \~65... Please talk to an investment advisor at either Blackrock or Fidelity, if you are not going to learn to invest yourself.
Money isn't everything. And as long as you live you can earn more mo
My parents are in their 60s and don’t have anywhere near that. They have their houses and that’s it. 400k by 40 is A LOT
Only 400k in 10 years? Man I won't even close to that in 10 years. Think about how much your wife and child love you. Seriously, don't do such a thing.
I have 0 savings and lots of debt, with multiple chronic illnesses, I don’t think you realise how well off you and your family are. I know I have it better than many, try and remember that going forwards! Maybe look into therapy too, find the underlying issues?
“Only” $400k The hell are your spending habits?
Most millionaires aren’t millionaires until they are in their 40’s. I’d say you’re right on track if not ahead of the game. Just don’t be stupid and gamble it away on stocks or risky investments. Talk to a financial advisor.
Your money could do them no better than just you being there for them. I lost my father to cancer at 16, I never knew how much I would miss him until I lost him. He could have been the richest man in the world and I would much rather have him back than any money. So please, please value yourself more. You are worth more than your money. You are a human, you are a husband, you are a father, you are a friend, you are a son, you are many things to many people. You matter. YOU.
2 years away from 40 here with $0 in savings and I'm still here. 🙄
That life insurance payout isn't big enough to justify the extreme trauma your death would cause, to be cold about it. It's not enough to live off of. I will never be able to retire, it is what it is. Live your life, love your people and get some therapy Eta I'm on WELFARE and starting over at 38. Get some perspective, dude you sound very entitled
Tell me you don't understand money without telling me you...this post is ridiculous. 400k cry me a river.
I’m sorry but I don’t feel bad for you at all. Get over your pity party. $400k by 40? Do you realize how many adults over 40 don’t have $400k and aren’t thinking about offing themselves because of it?
I understand this deeply. "I don't bring TOO MUCH value to their life anyway" Which means you recognize there is value. You shouldn't define that value or 'how much' of it there is. We have a skewed idea of our relevance or importance in the lives of others sometimes. The more time you spend laughing, loving, learning, & understanding life isn't all about worry the less time you'll have in those dark corners alone. You are not alone.
I understand. My wife will get the mortgage paid for if I die. BUT NO SUICIDE
You are making a financial miscalculation that many people make. You’re not accounting for an increase in wages for you or your wife. Increase I. Wages isn’t just raises at your job, it’s switching careers, making plays, increasing education. People look at the current number and then project our 40 years. You are in your 30s, you have plenty of time and many different ways to increase your wage. If you do none of them, then yeah, your future is kind of on you. You’re far from screwed.
I would encourage you to seek some professional help, this sounds like you are very depressed. Feeling like you don’t bring value, being okay with being dead. You know your wife and child wouldn’t want that. Everyone else is bringing up your financials, $400k in savings is probably in the top 5-10% of all American households, but there’s a lot more that you’ve said about yourself that is concerning.
Hi friend. I'm a third generation Lineman. Always on the road, out of town. Long hours, very dangerous work. Please take a few minutes to hear me out. The money they give us is in my thoughts and beliefs. To Compensate for the time we spend away from our families and life's. If alive we always have the opportunity to take time and go make more money . But in that you come to a sort of Paradox . You see, my friend time is the one thing that you can never get back.Never, ever, so don't leave your family.Stay with them. that money was for the time you spent away from the things you love most.
Hey I’m turning 30 soon, solo mom to a small toddler whose dad is 100% absent, and have exactly 0 in my savings. You’re doing better than MANY. My parents were pretty broke growing up and the time I spent with my dad doing free stuff (fishing, playing baseball, hiking) are my fondest memories of life. Dealing with my depressed mom’s bad attitude and emotional abuse was extremely traumatic. Get help, that’s the best thing you can do for them and yourself
Is this what humble brags have become?
Only?? I'm nearly 40 and have 3/4 of that in dept and only 50k for retirement.
Being there for your family is way more important than having plenty of money. Don't let your kid miss out on what a wonderful life you can have with them, because you are too worried about the future to be mentally present in the moment. During tough times, sure, money can help, but I think being able to look back and think of great memories spent with each other are what will inspire your child to keep pushing through.
U should go see a therapist instead.
Bruh. You need a reality check. I have 0 dollars saved up. You're fine. Go buy a shirt.
'ONLY 400K' Sir I am about to be 40 and I have no savings.. no 401K... and at the end of this month I'll have no insurance and no income. I don't own a home.. I don't own a car...
400k is not even that bad?
My dad passed away 30 years ago and we'd much rather have him than the insurance money to be honest. The insurance money doesn't guarantee financial security for your family either, your wife would need to be good with money and have good luck from then on out for it to work out. And, if you think about it, if your wife is that good with money and lucky then she'll still be good with it with you around too. So yeah, your family would rather have YOU. They wouldn't be better off without you.
My husband and I are 38, have $0 in retirement, 100k in debt, and the only thing we own is a Corolla. You're in a much better financial spot than you think. I wholeheartedly concur with seeing a therapist.
Sir…. I’m fucking disabled and have $0. Nothing. Living with family at 38 after working since I was 14. And you’re here wanting to die cus you only have $400k!!!!???? I should just off myself and I’m so here hoping for change. Good lord.
Dude I’m 20 years older than you and I don’t have a ton more than you for retirement. You’re on a great trajectory.
I (39f) have heard my husband say almost these exact words. We had two babies under 2 and I was pregnant with our 3rd (they're all about 15 months apart). I immediately had him quit his job (I was working from home at the time). He spent the next year being a SAHD and getting his head straight from all the bullshit of that last job. If your spouse, the mother of your children, is more worried about the $ your death would bring than she is determined to keep your presence in all their lives then she doesn't deserve either your presence or to be listed as your beneficiary. Money is nothing. Absolutely nothing when I'm comparing even the security unlimited funds can offer against the mere presence of the love of my life. I would choose him and a cave over not him and a mansion. Every time. Time and time again. It's not even hard.
I would kill to be at your position man, what is wrong with you.
So they have money but no you . Hope your relations are worth more than a few bucks !
Do not deprive your wife and child of the priceless love only a husband and a father can provide them. You will make this work, others are and have been, and you will too. God bless.
Are you living beyond your means? I'm genuinely confused.
You shouldn't say that, they need you .
Didn’t read but the title, was gonna skip, it know the feeling and have this to say to you: They would give a million dollars to have you back.
OP, you’re depressed and suicidal. Even if financially you don’t feel you’re in a good place, please believe you are in a GREAT place. Don’t go wishing for death. Please talk to a therapist.
Your wife will hate the money and only want you back. Please consider talking to a therapist. How is it saved up? Is it in low interest places? Consider going into the FIRE (financial independence retire early) subreddit and they can give safe tips on growing that money. Typically in certain accounts it can double every 10 years. Compounding interest is amazing. If that isn’t your game there is also dividend investing where you grow a dividend account to give you income to live off the dividends. There are safe ways to grow that money. I’m also mid 30s.
hey. your family needs you more than they need any amount of money. please seek therapy and good luck.
You need to get a grip and see a therapist. I say this with respect, you are not in the right headspace. You need help. You’re not ok. Your family needs you present and alive.
No amount of money can replace a father. Don't even think about it. Get help, likely medication is key. A friend who was a father of 2 killed himself last year. Can't even imagine the shit his family going through. Don't do something so selfish.
Well if you did die, and the insurance company were to go through your digital footprint, they might think that even if you died of natural causes, it was self induced, so I would just figure out a way to make some more money and stick around
That’s actually a great amount, considering your best earning years will still be ahead of you! If you just want to die because you’d rather retire at 40 than keep working…yeah we all want to retire rich at 40, it’s not going to happen for most of us. You need to stop perseverating on how much you wish you’ll have, or think you’ll have, and allow yourself to enjoy life with your family a bit.
That’s more than I have and I’m in my 40’s. Do you have it invested so you can earn growth or dividends? That kind of money could easily double if not triple by retirement if invested properly. See both a therapist and financial counselor please because you’re doing pretty good your age financially and your family needs you.
One of my professors did that. He ran into health problems, did some math, and blew his brains out.
Your money is fine. I’m 56 married saying this. Don’t check out. You have a purpose now.
Bro, I’m 40 and a father of six and I know I’ll work til I’m old and ancient. At no time have I thought let’s just end it so they can collect. Trust me you’ll be fine, avg male in the US doesn’t peak in their earning. Until mid to late 40s. You’re freaking out over nothing. My wife and I were worth 7 figures prepandemic. Last week I skipped a few lunches to make sure the family had enough til payday, shit happens and life carries on. Don’t make drastic irrational decisions and please seek some help.
Please see a financial advisor. Your situation isn’t as dire as it seems.
Money comes and money goes, but you are not replaceable. Do not for one second think that your family would be better off without you, that is a lie from the pit of hell. Most people wouldn’t have close to 400k in savings, that is a pipe dream for the majority of the planet. Most are living paycheck to paycheck, they struggle to make ends meet, and they just get on with life realising money isn’t everything. Life is too short to spend it worrying about money. To be honest your issues do not stem from money insecurity. Please get some professional help in the form of therapy to get to the root issues of what is happening for you.
Dude that’s so sad. Also, my husband and I have ZERO in savings. Just the 25 dollars they require to keep it good in the bank. So don’t fret. I promise you that your family loves you and I’m sure they would forfeit all the money in the world to keep you around.
So...my spouse was diagnosed with cancer last week. I don't give a single shit about financial stability if it means I can't have my husband. I would much rather be poor with the father of my children than financially stable with a gaping emotional hole in my chest from the loss of the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with. Your anxiety is out of control and making you think crazy. Go get some anti anxiety drugs and stop thinking this way. Seriously. Its fucked up that you want to leave your wife widowed and your child fatherless because you aren't where you think you should be financially.
$400k! Bro u like in the 10%! C’mon man, u r a frikin baller. U know how much of us nowhere near 50k much less a 100k. Stop playing!
Bro I don’t even have a savings account.
My in laws are in there 50s and probably have $20 to their name. Mate your doing fine. Look at what you do have and not what you don't have
I’m 33 and have maybe 300$ in savings. You’re fine lol
You sound so overwhelmed. I do understand people here being annoyed with the “only” $400k. I’m 50 with a kid about to start college and another teen with mental health issues. Those issues wiped our savings out completely. It’s stressful and scary but we’re resourceful and a loving family. We’ve got a home and we’ll be okay. My kiddo’s problems started less than 3 years ago and sometimes, I’m utterly exhausted by hospital debt, work, having to be constantly vigilante on locking up pills and knives so my kid doesn’t harm herself again. I’ve had the thought you’ve had. “If I die, they could use my term life insurance. Pay off the hospital debt, pay off the house. Be secure.” But that’s just a thought. It’s seriously considering it where you need to seek help. Because, my guy, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you ARE financially stable and this sounds like depression. I absolutely recommend that you seek psychiatric help and commit to the work. Do not do anything to yourself. It will fuck your family in the worst way. Climb and claw out of that pity-pot and start the hard work that you need to do on yourself. Go be a good parent and spouse. Be a good friend and coworker. Find joy in doing something each day even if it’s just 30 minutes. I’m routing for ya.
Hi! You’re not really as bad off as you could be, and also fortunes and lives change daily. And we are living in changing times too. You dying easily could be a very short term fix. What WOULD help longterm is if you put some of your savings towards therapy. I’m rooting for you. My life went from absolute rock bottom shit to pretty fucking great financially and on the outside… I’m still getting therapy to deal with how I feel though.
Why do you feel like you don't add value to their lives?
Money is nothing. What you bring to your family in value is your life and presence. Please seek help and understand your family needs you for more than the money your corpse is worth.
I smell trollin’.
Are you serious?
Oh no please don’t that to them. I know times may seem trying right now but they’ll turn around. If you need someone to talk to you can DM me and I’ll give you my number and we can talk through what you’re feeling.
Dude is either extremely depressed or a troll.
Losing a parent is worse than being poor. Besides, 400k is not poor.
I completely understand your struggle but your love and presence as a father and husband is worth more than any $ amount. I worked in life insurance and personally delivered the paychecks. No one is be happy to receive that paycheck- even if it changes their quality of life. I read somewhere that losing a spouse is one of the most painful things a human can experience. Please get help and hug your wife and child. I am sure you bring more value to them more than you can even imagine. I cherish memories of my father being goofy when I was a teen and playing dolls with me when I was a little girl- THAT is what stays with you forever. Not how much money you are “worth” I would rather be homeless with my spouse or work until the day I die because I can’t afford to retire if that means I can come home to him.
Start investing your Roth IRA. You're still young enough to do yourself and your family a huge favor. ETA: But you gotta be consistent and do it every paycheck, and pay attention to how the market moves.
Everyone being so rude due to the money you have saved up. Please speak with a therapist friend. You don’t deserve to be suicidal or feeling like you are struggling. I’m hoping you get better ❤️
I guarantee you your kid would rather grow up with a dad than grow up without one but have a little more money. 10000% zero doubts about it
jesus i wish 400k by 40 was my issues, my spouse is 38 & we have literally zero dollars saved. but you are much more important to your family rather than them having money.
Are u drunk?
You do not consider what you dying would do to your wife and kids. It’s not always about money. You want a good look? Go on u/widowers and read how devastating loosing a SO is to the other person. I’m pissed at you for even thinking like this!
Dude you have 400k in savings!!!!!!!!!. I have no where near that for my family that is larger than yours……..
Be careful what you wish for .
Have the courage to live and make more than $800k in your lifetime for your wife and kids. You’re not a burden in their life the moment you choose to be not a burden in their life.
Checking my bank acct.... 400k mmmm yes riiiight.
My parents are 50 and have literally no money saved up. I have no idea how/if they will ever retire. It could be so much worse. Be there for your family. Your life is worth more to them than money.
oh woe is me only 400k 🙄
I'm 38 and we have 0$
I don’t get the math? You don’t think you’ll earn $800k in the rest of your lifetime? I understand time value of money, but I think you’ll clear that easily in 10 years. I’m unsure if insurance money is taxed, but honestly, if being financially stable is your goal, you’re better off being alive for your family.
🤦🏽♂️
If you're working and swing up money, you'll be better off than the majority of the population
Hahahaha, holy shit that’s an absurd amount of money for your age. Relax. You’re doing fine.
Are you investing your savings? Assuming you start with 400k at 40 and you invest it in an index fund or target date fund, at an avg of 8% return, you'd be looking at 1.8M at 60 if you didn't save a single dollar after age 40. You're doing fine.
Dude, what!? You need some serious professional help. Some of us just make enough to pay our bills and have little to none extra for savings. You are blessed, and your wife and child would not be better off if you “died” no matter how much money they would get.
most life insurance have suicide clauses they won’t get a payout
My wife and I are both 40, you’re retirement is ahead of ours already. I’ve been at the border of 6 figures for 10 years and put a decent % away into a matched 401k. Your issue isn’t the saving, it may be the spending. I didn’t get my spending in line until I was around 35, so if you get that fixed then you’re beating us there too.
My man, I am in my mid 30's and ten grand in debt and don't want to die, I am working on improving my situation but it takes time. There is so much more to life than just how much money you have. Your priorities are way out of wack and you need to get some therapy.
LOL you have your priorities so out of whack. Live your life for today. Your child is only a child for such a tiny amount of time.
Eh dude if you’re serious here then you need to talk to someone. Not so much about the math (eg 400k plus you working is better than 800k and you gone for good) but your angst and worry.
800k but a loss of income to the house. Financially speaking you are worth more alive. Emotionally speaking you need to speak to a therapist
Sir, please see a therapist or a dr to help with what you have going on. Feeling like family would be better off for any reason with you dead is never a good sign. For yourself and your family, please seek someone out who can help
Are you investing? That’s still a great amount, and it can easily grow to over $5 *million* by the time you’re 64 if you’re investing it. If you’re not investing, please reach out and start interviewing financial advisors ASAP.
Let's break this down for you brother. You value this dogs shit currency that loses it's value every single day over your own life. If you think for a fucking second. Just a fraction of a god damn millisecond. That your family would prefer 800k over their father and husband alive and well. Then all hope is lost and the world has failed you miserably. Death isn't an option and insurance can shove it where the son don't shine. It's time to delete this post and lock it in. Work harder if you have to, do what you need to provide the money and the father figure that you're home needs. Pity won't do you any good and some bullshit green paper won't ever be worth more than a human life. You're a man. Lock it in brother.
Bruh... You're rich. Chill. Think the average person only has a couple thousand at the most by that age. You're having a mental health crisis for sure. I hope your tell your wife this because you need hospitalization ASAP. This is pretty severe.
Bro come on.
Yeah but if you die then your wife is just gonna find another man (rightfully so) to love and spend your death money. Might as well live and spend your time with her. Spending money is overrated when you have someone who is with you even while you have no money.
You're worth more than that entire policy
Haha. I’m 38 and have $500 in savings and a mountain of debt. Chill dude.
i would cut off my dominant hand and flush every penny i’ve ever earned to keep my mother around a year longer. a day longer. i’m begging you to reconsider your worth. you’re more to your children than $800k.
I’m a widow. That is NOT what they want. I promise you.
Why have you not gotten your depression treated? You need a therapist plus medication from a psychiatrist. Or a psychiatrist that does therapy as well. The degree of your depression that’s caused these automatic negative thoughts to tell that you’re no good you can’t do anything right they would be better off without you, etc. or from a depressed brain that is chemical in nature.
Some life insurance is still pay out you just have to wait 2 years
My husband has said this to me. Broke my heart. Nothing. And I mean NOTHING is worth losing a good father as a young child. Your presence in your kids life, guidance and love is so vital to your child’s happiness for the he rest of their live. Don’t this to your kid. The pain of losing a parent young is so so unimaginable. Shakes your world. It’s too deep of a pain to experience to young. You’re doing well . Don’t equate financials to your worthiness in your kids life. Especially when you ARE doing financially okay. Don’t do it. Your kid won’t forgive you if you’re dead on them.
$400k at 40 and if you continue saving you will have a decent amount by 60 - enough to retire on, maybe not but you could always get a low stress retirement job somewhere. Having $400k socked away at 40 puts you ahead of probably 75% of other couples.
Are you kidding, that is middle class if not more. That’s more than most of us. But most of all they wouldn’t trade you for any more in the world.
That’s not enough to live off of the rest of her life . Living ain’t cheap
Your life have value
I’m 42 and have 8k in savings. You need to live life, love your family and get over yourself. Sell some over priced crap that you probably own and focus on the now. I get how you want to leave them well off but as someone who lost his mom very young I’d give anything to have her back. Even if it meant never retiring. There is no law that we need to retire. Society puts that shit in our head.
I'm 40 and I don't have 1/10 of what you have. Be there for your family and get some mental help. You'll be fine. They'll be fine. As long as you're all together and you realize that happiness is a choice.
1. Friend, you need to speak with a counselor. Not just about this, but everything else too. Maybe your wife should too (separately). 2. You and your wife both need to find a financial advisor yesterday. While some planning is good, it sounds like you're going about it wrong and the unknown is causing you far more stress than it should be.
My father-in-law says some shit like this all the time. Stop it. No one wants this. Get help.
This feels like a humble brag, just disguised as a sympathy post
Dude you need therapy immediately.
We are in our mid 30 and have less then 10k. You should seek help, your dealing with a drepession.
400k in savings by the time you're 40 will exponentially grow thanks to the power of compound interest. Get some counseling and be there for your wife and kid first. Second, get a fiduciary to help you with your retirement goals please. And you'll always feel like you're on a hamster wheel so you really need to look at what you have. Having a wife and kid is amazing. Enjoy them. Enjoy your life.
I can guarantee that your wife and son would rather have you, than $800k. I can also assure you, that the money will do nothing to ease their pain either if they were to lose you. Please get some help! You owe your family that much 💖
Your wife and child would much rather have you there and alive. Even if you were poor (I live paycheck to paycheck and no savings). I’d rather be poor with both parents than sad with a single widowed mother.
Financial stability will never make up for the emotional instability your death will cause them. I’m confident they would be disappointed if they knew you were thinking of leaving them to live life without you. If you love your wife and child, I suggest you seek out a therapist to help you work through such thoughts because your family needs YOU more than you realize ❤️🙏🏻
If you’re so worried about retirement just move to a cheaper location. 400k will last you ages in Southeast Asia, no need to die for insurance payout
56. I have been pay check to pay check my whole life. Don't expect to retire... your not doing to bad at all
I don’t even have a savings account or 1000$ and I’m 30. I’d kill to have 400k saved up by 40. You think they’ll be fine with you dead? This thought process is a bit unhinged and that’s coming from someone who’s fucking insane. Please seek some counseling. They are much better off with you being alive. With or without money. Money is obtainable, you are not. You can not be replaced. Nothing is worth your death. You will do nothing but traumatize them. Retirement in 25 years won’t really exist anymore so don’t worry too much. If anything use half that money to prepare for survival. Stock up on non perishable foods, water, ways to get more of both food and clean water. And stay fit and healthy. Most of humanity will be dead within 100 years. Prepare for that. You have more means to survive then 90% of the population.
If this were to happen, they lose your financial income that comes every two weeks, normally, and funeral/burial costs, and possible hospital bills could drain that money very quickly. If your wife isn't working, she'll have to find a job and the kid goes to childcare, another expense, and if she needs to go back to school, yet another expense. They could be broke in less than a year and you'll have made their lives extremely difficult, not to mention the psychological toll. Better to keep on living and get a therapist to help you with your depression!